An Open Letter to you Ms Ordell

This has been bugging me for a year now. I let it go and thought I would get over it but the anger is starting to build up again and I need to get it off my chest. This is an open letter to someone I sincerely befriended over the Internet. Some one I looked up as a photographer. Heck she was my favorite even though there are lots of better ones, but her photos always spoke to me. Not any more though. I emailed her so many times but I think she blocked me. She blocked me on Instagram and I was such a fool that I thought this was some Instagram glitch or she is not fine. This was because I was not getting any emails back (we were email buddies) and I was genuinely worried about her.

Then one day I opened her blog on Tumblr and she has written a post about someone who was faking as her and hr ex-boyfriend. I emailed her again to report that account and don’t worry as that account would be terminated. I asked my friends to report that account as I found it and it was gone. I didn’t get any replied back and then it hit me - she thought I was stealing her identity. It was shocking at first. Then it hurt extremely. And then I got angry. But I never confronted her. I unfollowed her from evreywhere. I stopped looking at her work. 

She is an amazing girl, trust me. But she has that illness. She is sick with unconfirmed suspicion just because I am a Muslim and a Pakistani. She instantly thought it was me and I don’t know why. Well Ms Ordell, if it was me, I would never have let myself known to you. I would never have befriended you. Your pictures were always public, anyone could access them, why did you think it was ME???? I wanted to be your friend so that I can proudly tell others that this is my mentor, my friend, whose work speaks to me and who makes me happy. You never asked me whether it was me or not. That hurts. Still does. Yes you instantly accused me in your heart because I was of a certain religion and country. I strongly believe that now. I don’t care what happens after I post this, but one thing is for sure, I would never ever befriend anyone from your country or culture. I am being racist now.

Kindly do not reply me. I would never read what you have to say.