karen falcon

More Patater Family!AU

Follow-up to this post. Last thoughts on the Patater family for tonight because I realize I’m going overboard with this buT LAWD i love them so much

I imagine that even with how involved Kent and Tater tries to be in their kid’s life, there are just some moments that they will miss because of how much they have to travel. Their son understands; his parents more than make up for it when they come home and he knows they love him a whole bunch but it still sucks sometimes to only talk to them through Skype for weeks at a time. Like in third grade when he made it to the final rounds of his school’s Spelling Bee, but lost at the end, he really wished that his Pa was there to tell him he did a good job, or to see his Dad in the front row probably trying to stifle his backseat coaching because “Kenny, is spelling, you cannot coach. That is actually cheating.” Like yeah, they always do the thing with the matching suits and accessories whenever they go to Back to School Night, and Karen from the PTA basically wants to slaughter Kent for dissing her baking skills, but he’d rather have that than walking home alone from school to an emptyish house (nanny is there) for weeks at a time.

Every single time, the regular season pretty much coincides with the annual school play, and ok, their son doesn’t really care about the play. He’s playing a tree that says about five lines total, but looking in the dark at the parents and not seeing his blows a lot more than he’d expected. When the play is over and they all stand in a line to bow, the lights turn on and suddenly, amidst the clapping and cheering, he hears a familiar accent yelling, “That’s my son!! You see! The third tree!” And their son notices the two figures in the very back, still in hockey jerseys and looking pretty frazzled, are Kent and Tater, who’d immediately jumped in the car post-game interview (tbh Tater only said “I have to go to my son’s play I am sorry maybe next time!!! Ask Zimmboni questions he was very good!!!” and Kent just straight up walked out). Kent and Tater are the first parents to rush forward to collect their kid and are extremely alarmed when their son barrels towards the two of them, crying because he missed them. Tater raves about how convincing he was as a talking tree and Kent wipes the tears away and gives a bunch of gross cheek kisses like he did when he was in first grade. (Headcanon that Kent calls their son Tater Tot and does kid-friendly chirps while giving said kisses.)

BONUS: All the parents in the auditorium are turning their heads and you hear the crowd whispering excitedly as they recognize Kent and Tater in their jerseys. Except for Karen, who glares at Kent for a full minute while Kent narrows his eyes and look highly unimpressed.   

  • *finn and rey running for their lives to a ship*
  • finn: *about a ship out of shot* what about that one?!
  • rey: that one's garbage!
  • *ship they're running towards gets blown up*
  • rey: the garbage will do!
  • *camera pans to the millennium falcon*
  • audience: *loses thier minds and cheers*