O+n the Care and Feeding o+f Wigglers (Porrim & Kankri)(2/?)

OR: Porrim Maryam’s Field Guide to Dealing with the Blood-sucking Parasites in Your Life

I’m experimenting with just posting this in tiny unedited chunks as I go along, so.


Rule No+. 2: Wear appro+priate clo+thes and co+lo+rs

It takes some time to pry the wiggler’s round, sucking mouth loose from your ankle and you absolutely do not dwell on how disturbing the experience is or the need to get it off off off ICK AGH it is sucking your blood RIGHT NOW.  After all, it would take hours and hours before you weakened so much from blood loss that you could no longer remove it.

Fortunately, the grub’s teeth seem to be rather short and blunt.  In the short time it’s been on you (trying to eat you aaaaah), it has hardly done more than raise a ring of jade green bruises, small droplets of blood beading on your skin where the fangs worked their way deepest.  You suppose it would have gnawed its way through to a cartilaginous blood tube eventually.  This wiggler seems determined to make up for what it lacks in teeth with sheer bloody-minded tenacity.

Also, it squeaks every time you touch it and that’s really quite disconcerting.
You peel another two tarsal claws free from the strap of your sandal. They immediately become entangled in your skirt.  A red carapaced abdomen, still sleek and flat, curves around the back of your calf, bracing against your efforts as you tug on two more claws.  The wiggler squeaks like an angry tin whistle.  It clings to your ankle and every graspable item in the vicinity with all six legs, unwilling to be separated from its potential host and blood supply.

“I am not your lusus,” you tell the wiggler.  “Find a blood meal somewhere else.”

Big, too bright eyes look up at you, the protective lenses flicking briefly across that expanse of red.  Its attention turns back to your ankle.  The moons aren’t out tonight and in the darkness you are bioluminescing to quite a brilliant white. 

“Appearances not withstanding.” 

You sigh, and wonder again why you put yourself in these situations.  You also wonder why you are taking all this trouble over a mutant wiggler shortly destined for the culling fork. 

With a grimace, you return to carefully trying to pick its claws free from your hem. Oh well.  It’s only a little more effort.  And you’d hate to get blood on your skirt.

The grub bites you again. 

You can’t really swear to anything that happens in the ensuing few moments, but it is possible you shriek, and possible you fall over flailing, and possible you briefly indulge in a fit of mad flapping and atavistic aversion reactions.  There is a wiggler on your leg and it won’t come off

Eventually, you have satisfied your baser instincts and you are sufficiently calm to re-approach the problem with your full thinkpan engaged.  You believe it is time to stop working at cross-purposes with the wiggler’s natural instincts to grasp and cling.  Methodically, you begin transferring the grub’s entanglement to your skirt, a limb at a time.  When you finish, you still have a blood-sucking parasite slash larval person hugging doggedly to your leg, but it is now on the outside of the fabric.  You will take what compromises you can get.

You attempt a stare down with the small creature hanging from your leg. “You do realize I have other things to do with my night?”

skreeee,” the wiggler says, pricking its anchoring claws through your skirt.

You grimace again and look around for your carry packs, which you may have dropped back in the brush when the wiggler bit you.  You appear to have lost them.

The wiggler starts a determined climb up your person, claw over claw.

匿名 質問:

Cronkri, “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“

Kankri has a hand over his eyes and is not going to remove it come hell or high water. “Do not even start explaining to me yet. You need to put on some underwear before I listen.”

Cronus keeps the pillow over his crotch. “Okay but trust me Kan there’s a very good reason why I’m naked in your block.”

“Oh I’m sure! Stop talking and get some clothes on!”

There’s a pause. “…do you want me to wear some of yours or…?”


“That’s part of the story you don’t want me telling until I got clothes on so you’re going to have to make a decision here, Kankri.”

Kankri groans loudly. “I’ll find you something.”

Kankri Vantas Cosplay Masterpost

First, I am going to redirect you back to a tutorial on making troll teeth and a tutorial on wig styling (with references to characters hair styles) to save some time on this masterpost. 

this guy is a little asshole but dammit he’s adorable.

First, his hair. The wigs I recommend are here, here, and here. These are high quality wigs and will last a long time!

For grey, I recommend using snazaroo light grey and ben nye paints as well.

For contacts, if you wish to buy them, I recommend pinky paradise’s white mesh contacts. Be warned about contact use, however. wear them a few times to get used to them before you wear them to con. And if they hurt, take them out and make sure they are clean, etc etc etc. Be safe!

Check your local thrift shop! You can find them for SUPER cheap there! Also look up red sweaters in your size on ebay for the cheap auctions and also on amazon. there are many different designs, choose one you like! Just because your not canon doesn’t mean it doesn’t look awesome!

For pants, any black pants or black/red pants will look great. I recommend black jeans or skinny jeans. Check in thrift stores and second hand stores! 

As for shoes, red and black theme is best. Shoes like these, these, or these. Would be perfect. Raid your closet, local thrift store and second hand stores!

I hope this helped some of you lovely people out! If you have questions, feel free to ask!


匿名 質問:

for ancestor night, emperor!signless? (signless still as a mutant, just somehow took the throne and adopted fuschia fashions or something)

oh, anon. i am all about this!
i definitely want to explore more design options for Emperor!Signless. there are just, too many awesome opportunities.

thank you for requesting this! i was so happy to draw this!

(For HS Ancestor Night! Ancestor Requests are closed!)

Smug Seer is amused by your faux-pas! He looks like he’s been learning how to smile from Mituna, which is not a bad headcanon I guess. 

For this one I tried out a gray marker of unknown quality I happened to find (actual art markers are super hard to find in brazil, you only get the kiddie type…), but the result was less than desirable. I didn’t think very far ahead and ended up painting the background when it’d probably be better to leave it uncolored? So the foreground could pop better. Adding the textures also muddled things a bit. Ah well. This is a sketchbook for a reason, and the reason is fucking up and trying shit out.