I wanted to make a list of my favorite Kaner + Tazer fics because, well, I love them, and I have a lot, I guess? But like, I’m going to try and narrow it down to my all time faves. They’re all from Archive of Our Own because, let’s be real, that site has the best hockey RPF by far.
It’s of my favorite stories—ever. It’s just so perfect. Heartbreaking as fuck. But like, when you finish it, you’ll feel so content, with yourself and everything else. The little details in this story, like the sandwiches (you’ll see), are so memorable, and they make it so much better.
I actually avoided this fic for a while. Whenever I saw it on rec lists and stuff, I always thought I wouldn’t be into it. And then, I read it. Wow, I was wrong. This story is so well-written. I love this version of Jonathan Toews so much. He’s really hard to read and doesn’t demonstrate his emotions a lot, and I love that, I like that we have to figure them out in other ways. And this is flat out best Kaner in all of hockey RPF. The author just nails him, his little inner monologue, his mannerisms—everything. Read this.
This story is straight up lovely. Every time I read it, I feel all warm inside, like nothing can ever get me down. I also genuinely laughed my ass off reading this one, and that doesn’t happen very often. The “Kazer” aspect of this is kind of lowkey, I suppose, like, it sort of sneaks up on you. But that’s not a bad thing. It’s just not the focal point of the story because, well, that’s where’s the Stanley Cup?! But don’t worry, it’s there. This fic is 100% worth your time. Read it if you ever have the urge to smile like an idiot.
I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve read this one. It’s my second favorite of all time. It’s so good. It’s all about growing up and growing up together and growing apart and everything in between, and it’s just so fucking real. Maybe it really spoke to me because I just graduated from high school a few weeks ago? I don’t know. But this Kaner and Tazer will grab you by the heart and never let go—I promise you that. I don’t think this story is meant to be so emotional, because it really is quite hilarious and ridiculous at times, but it is. Read this. Read this. Seriously.
I couldn’t possibly say enough good things about this beautiful, spectacular story. I don’t even know what to say about it to do it justice. I will say two things, and then I’ll just leave you with the summary from the authors. 1) This, in my opinion, is the greatest portrayal of Pat and Jonny that there will ever be. 2) This story will make you cry, but I promise, the tears are so worth it. Anyway, straight from the authors: And the tragic reality of Patrick’s life is that even though they broke up over a year ago, he and Johnny still play beautiful hockey together.
Summary: Growing up in the middle of Nowhere, Canada isn’t easy. Especially when your family is barely scraping by and all your dreams are of escaping. Luckily, with Jonny, Patrick doesn’t have to dream alone.
After getting countless anon asks for recs, I’ve finally caved and made this list. This is, in my opinion, the cream of the crop. Happy reading! (If the author has a tumblr that I know of, I’ve linked them because many authors post ficlets here that can’t be found on AO3.)
Consider this a gateway drug into the fandom, because that’s exactly what it was to me. Exactly what it says on the tin: it takes 53 blowjobs for Pat and Jonny to finally get it together. With an absolutely spot-on Patrick voice, it’s so unbelievably… believable. You’ll find yourself shaking your head and saying, “Oh boys.”
Pat calls Jonny baby during sex and Jonny really, really likes it. “In which pet names lead to feelings, or possibly the other way around.” But, this is about so much more than that. It’s… I can’t capture in words how wonderful this is, how complex, how them. This is definitely my favorite canon fic, by far. It’ll take you on an emotional rollercoaster, but the payoff is so, so worth it. I cannot recommend it enough.
This fic… I can’t be coherent about it. It is gorgeously atmospheric and manages to capture perfectly the sensation of an impending graduation, of being at and then leaving college. It’s a gorgeous portrayal of Pat and Jonny made all the more fantastic by the fact that they play for Yale, and they’re stupid about each other. Just… read it.
Jonny is a kindergarten teacher, and Patrick is the hockey-playing father of a problematic, if adorable, little girl. This fic is just… so, so cute. But it’s also more than that. It’s about Patrick and Jonny growing as people, together, and about a slow, vaguely dysfunctional courtship that is very, very them. Just… I love this fic.
I love this. This is a trope I love, but subverted in the most beautiful of ways. It’s A/B/O where Patrick is a nontraditional alpha, and Jonny is a very nontraditional omega. Hazel weaves in interesting looks at what such classifications mean socially and politically, but at its core it’s about Pat and Jonny and how they’ve always been the perfect complement to each other.
I don’t care if mpreg isn’t your thing. This fic will make it your thing. It’s inadequate to call this curtain fic because it is so, so much more. An epic at 160k, every word of this is wonderful. You will laugh, you will cry, and you will coo at how goddamn adorable these boys are. At it’s core, it’s about Jonny wanting to take care of Pat, about them learning how to be together. It was so good I literally couldn’t put it down.
Sharpy is an evil genius and spams Pat with pictures of Jonny’s ass, and Jonny with pictures of Pat’s mouth. Naturally, this goes exactly where we’d all expect. Hot like burning, and really about them navigating sex, and everything that comes with it, together.
A gorgeous, atmospheric look that’s partially an ode to summers at a cabin, but mostly about navigating their relationship and regaining lost ground. It’s a slow, lazy exploration of what they mean to each other, and it’s beautifully done. (Also, the porn is hot. Yup. It’s demotu, what did you expect.)
Kaner becomes hysterically obsessed with getting Jonny to sit in his lap because it is absolutely unacceptable that Broshie has had that honor, and he hasn’t. Zarathuse has the best Kaner voice in this fandom, and everything about this fic is so them. You’ll probably piss yourself laughing. It’s fantastic. This fic also involves Sharpy making a video to Miss New Booty that is mostly just pictures of Jonny’s ass. Yes. Perfection.
This is just… scorchingly hot. If you’re a Jonny girl, yeah you’ll enjoy this. A lot. Beyond that, it’s a fascinating look at how magnetic the bond between Pat and Jonny is, and how they’re both incapable of resisting each other. (Also all the love for sex machine Tazer, okay.)
I don’t really know how to describe this fic? It’s Jonny negotiating a kink with himself and just epically pining after Pat because, somehow, paying Pat to do things turns him on. (Spoiler alert: it’s not really hooker kink. It has to do with ~feelings~) It’s also searingly, viscerally hot but, it’s by queeniegalore, so that’s a given.
A baby appears at Jonny’s doorstep. His name is Stanley Kane-Toews. It’s about Jonny and Pat trying to take care of a newborn baby, but also about them finally figuring themselves out. You will coo at the cute. It’s fantastic.
There’s a lot of buddyfucking in this fandom. This is the very best. “It turns out that buddyfucking your best friend without shit getting weird requires constant vigilance.” Spoiler alert: shit gets weird. Feelings happen. It’s wonderful.
Jonny decides that the best way to prank Sharpy is to trick him into thinking that he and Pat are dating. Pat gets on board with the promise of playoff mullets. Somewhere along the line, they aren’t pretending anymore.
There are quite a few genderswap AUs. This one is my absolute favorite. It tackles, realistically, the consequences of being a woman in a man’s world, and the dynamics between Pat and her boys is perfect. Also, all my love for girl!Sid and Geno, as will as girl!Segs. I adore this to pieces, every part of it. Even if genderswap AUs aren’t your thing, give this a shot - you won’t be disappointed.
soooo, this is the second half (the kane/toews part) of a completed fic that deals with Jon breaking up with his (fictional) girlfriend. I probably won’t ever post it, which makes me sad because guys, if you only knew, my title is so clever. I have dumb song-titles for the most part, but this one had layers of meaning and was great. Woe. In any case, as a contribution to demotu’s inspired ‘gay porn hard’ appeasement to the hockey gods, it functions okay as a standalone, but be aware that it starts halfway through after Jon broke up with his gf Sara. 2600 words, NC17.
So, there was a picture of puppy tazer in a garden with flowers, and then there was tagfic involving dirt, and after ninjaboots and svmadelyn postulated that kaner with his soft hands would give baths that no puppy could spurn, i had to write it with, uh, visual aids.
Everything’s below a cut because it got loooooong.