kandsforpres

No Wonder I Turned Out The Way I Did

When I Was In Grade 2, I Came Home From School All Excited And Told My Mother And Cousin That I Had Gotten I Spot In The School Play.

Mom “Oh That’s Great Dear! What Are Your Going To Be?!?!”

Me “I Am Going To Be A Hump On A Camel’s Back!” I Exclaimed

After A 2 Second Pause

Mom “Well…It’s Better Than Being A Pimple On A Monkeys Ass”

I Cried For 20 Minutes

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Holy Mother Fuck That Is The Funniest Thing I Have Ever Seen!

I No Longer Am Confused On What I Want To Do With My Life

I concur on S’ previous post on friction. This is called “Chub Rub”. It’s what happens to fat people when they try to run. This is what happened to me while exercising today. That is not my leg, it’s some chick from MTV’s show Fat Camp. It was terrible but points for teaching me the phrase chub rub.

Plenty Of Fish

habsgurl says

hows everything going?

PlentyOfSquish says

Don’t take this personally but…I’m a big bruins fan so….I just dunno how this could ever work…

habsgurl says

don’t worry i like boston to 

PlentyOfSquish says

That can’t happen…It’s against nature, The natural flow of things

habsgurl says

there just a hockey team

better then a leafs fan

PlentyOfSquish says

Just a hockey team….

Have a nice life

habsgurl says

fine go with the flow

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Domestic Cat Dispute

(Even Funnier The Second Time)

Not Proud Of This...

Not Long Ago As I Was Cleaning Up My Place and I Came Across An Expired Bottle Of Bear Spray. For Your Ignorant Fucks Who Don’t Know What Bear Spray Is, It’s Much Like Pepper Spray For Humans But….Much Stronger…. For Use On Problem Bears And Sudden Bear/Human Encounters. ANYWAY After A Can Is Expired It Is Recommended That It Not Be Used As The Effectiveness May Be Compromised. So Instead Of Wasting It I Took It Out Back And Sprayed It Against A Tree. After Discarding Of The Canister I Proceeded To Take A Shower As A Night On The Town Was In My Future. Mid Way Through, I Start To Notice A Slight But Intense Burning On My Lips And It Suddenly Occurs To Me; I Must Have Gotten Some Spray On My Hands And Wiped My Mouth. Then Another Realization, That I Had Just Finished Washing My Asshole.

My Asshole Is On Fire

S