kalverliefde

Zoveel meisje

Ik was zoveel meisje en zo weinig vrouw
toen ik naast hem in dat bed
hardop hakkelend de gedichten voorlas
die ik de afgelopen weken over hem 
geschreven had

Ik denk eigenlijk niet eens dat hij doorhad
hoe ik vanuit mijn ooghoeken
keek of hij niet lachen moest om de manier
waarop ik hem beschreef en daardoor
viel over de woorden

die op papier zoveel mooier leken
en ik wilde dat ik het moment
in mijn handen tot een prop kon persen
om uit het raam te gooien
en opnieuw te beginnen

kalverliefde//min yoongi

{n.} a temporary affection and infatuation usually experienced by two people in love.


Min Yoongi. Angst. 1206 words.

❝ Don’t get attached to moments, good or bad. They all pass.❞

Yoongi’s hand brushes against yours again, sending shivers down your spine. You don’t know if it’s just by chance or he’s messing with you, knowing what a simple brush can do to you. Would it be weird to just hold his hand on the spot? You are dating each other after all. Though skinship hasn’t played a big part in your budding relationship, you thought, how would it if nobody initiated it first? And Yoongi is either too dense or just a damn tease.

You’re brought out of your reverie when his pinky finger loosely hooks onto yours and you blush, a timid smile adorning your face. But the moment is short lived because Hoseok -damn that boy- comes scuttling towards you with a huge grin and grabs your hand, dragging you away from Yoongi.

“We’re riding the Ferris Wheel!” He exclaims excitedly, like a kid on a Christmas morning.

You don’t know if you should punch him in the face -you tend to get violent when your perfect moments get ruined- or sigh in exasperation over his impeccable timing. Either way, you can’t go back to Yoongi, it’ll be awkward; thus you let the dark haired boy tug you behind him as you sluggishly follow to join the rest.

“Hurry up, Yoongi-hyung!” Jungkook smiles that cute boyish smile, running past you and Hoseok to do the same to Yoongi like what Hoseok’s doing to you.

Jin and Jimin are already waiting in the line, somewhat telling the people that comes to queue behind them that they’re saving spots for their friends. And basically Jin’s apologizing profusely at those people that looks slightly peeved.

It doesn’t take long for your moping to end when realization hit you like brick and you pale on your spot; shit. Ferris Wheel meant hovering 500 foot in the air and risking crashing into the ground if something went dead wrong.

“You know, I think I’m going to sit this one out.” You speak to no one in particular.

“It’s already us next though.” Taehyung points out, hoping up and down as the couples in front of you enter the car.

It rotates and another empty car stops in front of the line, Taehyung pushing Jin out of the way to be the first to hop onto the hanging metal ball that might have a loose screw and possibly kill everyone in it. Well, if Taehyung died, he’d die happy.

The others pile into the car, splitting into three groups until it’s your turn to enter. With jelly-like legs, you trudge towards the door of death. But a hand stops you by grabbing onto yours and pulling you against a chest.

“On second thought, we changed our minds.” Someone says to the operator.

Yoongi.

A second later, he’s striding past the people that are lining up behind the lot of you, with Jungkook’s surprised yell of, “Hyung!”

A burst of adrenaline rushes through you and you’re unsure if it’s because you’ve dodged the bullet or because your boyfriend, the person who’ve been subtle about skinship is holding your hand in a secure grasp as you two put more distance between the giant spinning band with every step you take.

“Thanks.” You murmur, falling into pace with him and squeezing his hand.

“I can’t have my girlfriend holding another man’s hand just because she’s afraid of heights.” He reveals his true intention.

“Maybe I should’ve went in with Namjoon and Hoseok if it meant making you quit this subtlety game.” You muse.

“It was fun seeing you ponder whether or not to jump me.” Yoongi gives you a lazy grin.

“I wasn’t thinking of jumping you!" 

Thus the night is spent with you and Yoongi playing the games at the stand. Yoongi win you a cute little teddy bear and you top him by winning him a man sized monkey (he literally jumps up and down when the man grudgingly take the stuffed animal off the wall, probably not expecting anyone to win it because many have tried and failed).

Then you bought every -well almost- kinds of food there, and Yoongi stares at you for one whole minute before recovering from his stupor and giving you a thumbs up, a tinge of pride in his eyes when he sees you eating and you don’t even know why.

An hour and a half later, you spot the guys walking your way but none of them noticed the two of you yet and the fact that Yoongi’s hair is a dead giveaway the moment one of them would see it prompts you to act out of impulse and slip your cardigan off to drape it over his head and pull him in for a chaste kiss.

When they’re gone -you don’t actually know when because the world fades away when you’re kissing Yoongi- you pull away, furiously blushing at the ear-to-ear grin radiating off his countenance.

"Shut up.” You bury your burning face into his chest while he hugs, holding his monkey against your back so you’re squeezed between them because his precious monkey needs to be included in this special moment.

You’re starting to think he loves that monkey more than you so you’re going to have to plan a way to get that monkey out of the picture.

But everything comes to an end, don’t they?

♕ ♕ ♕ ♕

Yoongi curses under his breath.

Fool.

He’s such a fool to forget the dinner date of 15 month anniversary. The heavy feeling filling his chest weighs him down with an indestructible force perched on his shoulders as he recalls the overzealous glimmer in your eyes when you two were planning where to eat and where to go after that. 

It isn’t the first time either.

He dies a little on the inside every time he apologizes for his faults because he sees the despair and fading hope on your eyes as you put on a reassuring smile and forgive him without a second thought. He drinks in your trust until you’re left an empty vassal.

Work keeps him wrapped up and cuts off his time with you.

His feet carry him to your apartment, punching in the pin that he knows by heart only to be greeted by an eerie silence. Making his way to your bedroom, he held his breath and pushed the door open.

On the bed, lies the stuffed monkey you’d won for him on that night at the carnival that went missing after a month and he sulked for a week because he thought Taehyung stole it.

He should’ve seen those jealous glimmers in your eyes when he opted to hug the monkey instead of you when you two were watching Annabelle. But he thought your pout was cute.

Yoongi saunters over, chest clenching as his eyes catch the glint of a silver band that he gave you placed atop of the monkey’s stomach.

He doesn’t need to be a genius to understand your message; you’re giving him time to pack up his things and leave.

And that’s the thing about relationships.

Nobody said it was easy; no one ever said it would be this hard.