kale chips

KALE CHIPS

i know these recipes are all over the internet but oh my god they are so good. they have the same texture as potato chips so they’re easily (and guilt-free) great munching foods. 

ingredients: 

  • 1cup of kale (or as much as you want)
  • olive oil
  • salt

it calls for 1Tbsp of oil, but oil is such a fear food for me, so i try to use less. 

What you do:

  1. preheat the oven to 350degrees F.
  2. line a cookie sheet with parchment paper
  3. rips the stems off the kale, and rip the kale into bite size pieces.
  4. wash, and dry completely. there should be no water left!
  5. get out a little bowl and a paintbrush 
  6. pour no more than 1 tbsp of oil into the bowl
  7. lay the kale out flat on the cookie sheet, having none overlap
  8. dap the paintbrush in the oil and begin painting a very light coat evenly on every leaf
  9. get both sides
  10. put them in the oven for 10 - 15 minutes. or until the sides are brown but not burnt
  11. once they are done, sprinkle some salt or seasoning on.

Tips: to save calories, use an oil spray instead. also sprinkle the salt on AFTER cooking or the salt with absorb all the moisture and they wont get as crispy. 

ENJOY!

Calories (per cup): about 53, but it depends on how much oil you use.

phantom-mizero  asked:

I headcanon that Black Hat got really into couponing, after he employed the rest of the crew. Feeding 2 humans and a bear has to cost a lot and he would most likely try not to use so much money on groceries and stuff. It would basically end with: “No, Demencia, we are NOT going to buy this chocolate bar, we don't have a coupon for it. You have to do it with your own money.” 1/2

They would always leave with giant loads of groceries and other various things, for just a few dollars as payment. It’s basically legal stealing! Also there had to be a few incidents were they didn’t take some coupons for some reason and ended up with an angry Black Hat and a hero trying to resolve the drama one way or another, while the rest of the crew watched things from afar. 2/2

HJOsHOYLT FUCKFING SHIT

  • Black Hat is basically just an angry old grandma who spends hours in front of the fireplace in a rocking chair cutting up a newspaper. with his claws. fuck scissors am i right.
  • by the time he’s done there’s a stack of coupons big enough to stuff a briefcase. which is exactly where they go into. gotta carry your coupons in style
  • some of these are incredibly useless?? “Save $5 dollars off any $200 or more purchase?? Expires tonight?? HOLY FUCK!!!!” but you can bet he’ll teleport straight into sears or wherever the fuck it is, impulse purchase the nearest thing, and throw the coupon in the cashier’s face
  • so onto the store: You gotta get the essentials first. bread, some meat, cheese?… lettuce, uh, an apple. sardines. bubblegum. what do humans eat again??
  • BH just has 5.0.5 do it normally, since Flug would straight up blow their food budget on Mountain Dew, 5 hour energy, and coffee and Dementia would just raid the $1 candy isle.
  • But meanwhile BH’s gotta find the frozen food isle because “TWO boxes of frozen fish stick for the price of ONE!?!? THIS IS THE MOST DIABOLICAL THING I’VE EVER SEEN!”
  • “these savings are positively evil” BH claims as he buys five tubs of greek yogurt
  • “EXCUSE ME DO YOU WORK HERE” “Oh shit he’s back– hello sir h-how can i help y–” “WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR KALE CHIPS. DO YOU SELL THEM HERE.” “Snacks are in isle 9.″ bh fucking nyooms off
  • WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS EXPIRED LAST WEEK

Y’all are making Black Hat so…….. edgy…….. (I love this)

As much as you liked sleeping over at Harry’s lavish studio apartment, nothing was better than sleeping at your own place in your own bed. (Harry’s bed had a million and one pillows on it and they took up 99% of the mattress which wasn’t very fun.) Of course, you wanted to spend more time with Harry and what better way to do that then for you to move into his place? You considered it at first, but then you couldn’t stop thinking about how much your tiny apartment meant to you and… Well, that’s how you ended up in this situation. 

“Harry! Whole Foods didn’t have any more of those kale chips left so I picked up a bag of normal chips instead.” You kicked your shoes off and tossed your keys into the glass fruit bowl sitting on the counter before looking around your apartment. Something was off, but you couldn’t tell what it was… “Harry?” You and Harry were now two weeks and a bit into the whole ‘I’ll come over to your place for one weekend and you can come over to mine during the next’, and Harry really seemed to like it! (“Your apartment is adorable, love.”) 

“In the bedroom!” You set the bag of groceries down on the couch before making your way over to your bedroom, smiling lightly at the sight of Harry standing by the door with a wide grin on his face. 

“What are you up to?” You hummed, giving your boyfriend a quick kiss before trying to peek into the bedroom over his shoulder. 

“I did a little redecorating while you were gone! Close your eyes fo’ me, please.” 

“Did you put my One Direction posters back up?” You joked, Harry scowling at you before taking your hands and placing them over your eyes. 

“I’d prefer not to have Liam smiling at me while I’m fuckin-” 

“Show me what you did, Harry.” You interrupted, your cheeks flaring at the memory of Harry not being able to focus because whenever he looked up he’d see a grinning Liam looking right at him. 

“Okay, you can look now!” You opened your eyes and- 

“Oh my…” Your room looked completely different now due to the various Harryesque items hanging on the wall or sitting on the bedside tables. “Wow.” 

“I brought some stuff in! Figured it’s only fair cos you left some of your things at my place too.” Harry hummed, letting you in for a proper inspection. 

“Harry, the only thing I left was a toothbrush.” 

And your science textbook.” 

“It’s a textbook and a toothbrush! You brought your entire room into my apartment!” You laughed lightly, pointing to the vinyl record of his album pinned to the wall. 

“Look here, though!” Harry tugged you over gently towards the bedside table, your heart fluttering at the sight of a picture of you and Harry, ‘home’ etched into the bottom of the picture frame. It didn’t matter if Harry completely renovated your apartment. (Okay, maybe it sort of would. You liked your apartment the way it was, but you’d let Harry do anything as long as it made him happy.) As long as you were with Harry, you were at home. 

+

cheesy ending i kNow

gif isn’t mine!

Kale Chips

I love vegetables. Seriously. But sometimes you just need a change from the normal ways you cook things. Kale is a vegetable I sometimes find a little tricky to deal with. 1) There is usually a lot of it in a bunch and it seems to expand as you chop it. 2) It can be a bit tough, even with long cooking, which makes a limit to how much I’m willing to eat of it at a single go. That said, kale is extraordinarily full of nutrients! So it’s worth learning how to cook it in different ways. I must say, kale chips have won my heart.

Kale chips make a great afternoon snack. Or evening snack. Or, really, something to eat at any time. I’m a sucker for crunchy things, so it’s nice to have an alternative to other not so good for you crunchy snacks. Plus, they’re so easy to make! <3

3
Parmesan Salt & Pepper Kale Chips.

Last year, I had the distinct—and absurdly funny—pleasure of food styling on set with the team behind the comedy web series cooking show Meals With Mary. Mary is an 86 year-old ex-vaudevillian wild woman who can even make sexual innuendos out of kale chips.

This kale chip recipe is fast, easy, and insanely delish. Nutty parmesan caramelizes in the oven (OH SNAP did someone say Kale & Caramel???), lending a subtle sophistication to the delicate, leafy crunch of kale in chippy form.

Check out the video, and get the recipe for these seriously better-than-potato-chip kale dynamos right here,

Exercise Your Rights

The room was filled with your moans and grunts. You were pretty sure the whole building heard you by now. It wasn’t your fault, you just couldn’t help it. Jay was working you from behind, pushing you gently to your limits.

“That’s it babe. You’ll stretch. Just breathe,” he encouraged into your ear. You could feel a tear building up in the corner of your eye.

“Jay…I don’t think.. I will..” you protested in between breaths. You couldn’t take it anymore and snapped your head back, hitting Jaebum’s nose.

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(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrtG9Q4kQ9U)