Can we be friends?

Kai Parker x reader

Word count: 1535

Summary: Everyone is left questioning why y/n broke up with kai. Can anyone find out the truth?

A/n: yall I started writing this one year ago and am only posting it now,, wowie

“You have to move on. We’re through.”

Who knew that just a few little words could hurt so much. It was more than just a simple text, though. It was a breakup text. Things seemed so much easier to not do them in person. At least you got your message across- literally.

Kai had sobbed for hours. He never replied, but the ‘seen’ notification was enough. Kai had thought that it was a joke at first, but knew that you would never play such a crime on him.

All he wanted to do was for it to stop. All the feelings, all the pain. The tears didn’t stop coming. He tried everything to get over the text, but nothing worked. He even tried numerous spells, but nothing could get him over his heartbreak.

It was as if things didn’t make sense anymore. You two were the perfect couple. Even though all your friends hated kai for obvious reasons, they loved and accepted the two of you being together. You two were always so happy together, so happy your smiles could light up the night’s sky.

None of your friends understood why you had broken up with Kai either. To this day they were still trying to figure it out. But no one could think of a decent explanation.

“You don’t think she has her eyes on someone else, do you?” Enzo questioned.

“No. Y/n isn’t like that.” Damon points out.

“Maybe she just fell out of love.” Elena says.

“Y/n isn’t like that either. She loved him, unconditionally.” Caroline states.

“And she broke up with him in a text?” Bonnie asks. “Why? She’s always so head on, so face to face.”

“It doesn’t make any sense.” Stefan adds.

You had made the day so memorable for everyone. Kai left sobbing, your friends left wondering. Everything had seemed so normal that morning. You went for lunch at the grill with Elena, Bonnie and Caroline, walked back to the Salvatore boarding house, and entered with a huge grin on your face.

“What’s up with you?” Stefan had asked.

“Yeah, you’re oddly happy.” Damon added.

“I just…I did something and I’m happy. I’m so freaking happy.” You smiled.

Later were they to find out that the thing you did that made you so happy, was breaking up with the most amazing person you ever knew.

It had been a few days, and no one had heard from Kai since, or tried to question your decision. Your friends left you alone, trying to figure out the puzzle themselves. That was until kai decided to come out of his apartment for the first time in a long time to visit you. He couldn’t rest until he really knew what had happened between the two of you.

He tried calling, texting, everything. You didn’t reply so he left many voicemails.

“Y/n, please call me back. I’m so sorry if I upsetted you in some way. Just please call me.” You could hear his voice cracking.

“Y/n, it’s uh… it’s kai. Could you call me back please? I need you.”

“Y/n, I hope you’re getting my voicemails. Just call me back. I…I love you. Please call me.”

Kai hesitated as he stood outside the Salvatore boarding house. His palms were sweaty, his legs shaking. He didn’t even know what to expect. Maybe he wasn’t ready to hear from you. But he needed to.

Damon opened the door before kai could even knock.

“Thank god.” Damon sighed in relief.

“Thank god? Since when are you ever happy to see me?” Kai joked, laughing nervously. His stomach tied in knots.

“Is y/n here?” Kai asks.

“I need answers. I need to know what happened between the two of you.” Damon states, ignoring kai’s question.

“Why? I’m the one who needs answers.” Kai replies.

“What?” Damon asks.

“She broke up with me. I never got an explanation. Just one little text.”

///

Stefan, Damon and Kai sat in the living room, only with one thing on their minds. Your breakup.

“She hasn’t been the same since.” Stefan says. “It’s not that she’s upset, but she’s weirdly happy, like all the time.”

“But what I don’t understand is that you made her happy.” Damon points. “All she ever did was talk about you. She loved you more than anything.”

“So all I’m getting is that she was happy but broke up with me… and is still happy?”

“Okay, I’m confused. We’re getting it out of her, though.” Damon says.

“How are you going to do that?” Kai asks. “Breaking into a bank vault is easier than finding out what’s going on inside of y/n’s head.”

Damon raises his eyebrow as he pulls out his phone.

“Caroline.” Stefan says.

///

“So, are you ready to order?” Caroline asks, sipping her milkshake. Caroline wasn’t that up for following Damon’s plan, but she would do anything to get the answer out of you.

You questioned Caroline when she asked you out to last minute lunch at the grill. She seemed hesitant on the phone, like she was nervous about telling you something you shouldn’t know.

“I’ll have my usual.” You tell matt.

“Why do I even give you a menu?” Matt smiles as he hands you another milkshake.

“On the house.” He says.

You questioned matt too as he walked away again. “Okay then.” You whisper, taking a sip.

Silence stretches between you and Caroline. You try to focus on something else besides the awkward tension. But you catch matt staring at you from a distance. When he notices you looking at him, he quickly goes to the back kitchen, like nothing happened. Caroline twisted the straw in her drink, glaring up at you from the table.

“Caroline ?” You ask, quietly. “What’s going on?”

“Huh?” She questions.

“The last minute dinner, you and Matt acting all weird?”

“Oh, um.” Caroline takes another sip, trying to cover up what she really wanted to say to you. She never wanted to lie to lie to you or hurt you in anyway, but she felt as if she didn’t ask the question, she would upset everyone else as well.

Matt brings you your meals before Caroline can reply. You thank matt and he gives you another smile. No one smiles that much, not even you, not even matt. Something was off.

You were halfway through your meals when Caroline started talking properly again. You two got so lost in conversation that you completely forgot about how weird everyone had been acting.

“So y/n, what happened between you and kai?” Caroline asks. “There must have been a reason you broke up with him, right? I mean, you two always seemed so happy together and-”

“That’s why everyone’s been acting so weird.” You sigh. “Who put you up to this? It was Damon, wasn’t it?” You grab your bag and jacket, leaving Caroline to her food.

“Y/n, come here. I never meant to hurt you.” She says, putting her hand on your shoulder.

“You’re absolutely ridiculous, Caroline.” You scoff. You brush her off and walk out the door.

You realized you were making a scene but at least everyone would feel bad for you, and not Caroline. What she did was wrong and now everyone knew it.

You were thankful that Caroline didn’t follow you because just as you opened up the door you crashed into someone, making them drop their coffee all over you.

“Y/n?” Kai’s face lit up like a million Christmas lights. “Is it really you?”

///

There was no way she was getting out of this situation. You were bound to run into kai eventually, so at least if you talked to him and explained things to him, it would be over with for good. You forced Caroline out, not wanting any vampires eavesdropping on your conversation.

“You want to talk? Let’s talk.” You said, sliding into a booth. Kai sat opposite of you, fumbling with his hands. He was so nervous that he didn’t even know what to say. He spent all his time trying to think about what to tell you if he got the chance to speak to you but now that the time had come, his mind turned up blank.

“Why did you break up with me?” He asked.

“I wasn’t happy.”

“You’re lying.” Kai stated. “Tell me the truth.”

“I’m not lying.” You claimed.

“You are.” Kai said. “You always get that little nose crinkle. Don’t lie to me.”

You sighed. You were fed up with having to deal with kai. You wanted to cut yourself off from kai as soon as you could. There was a reason you broke up with him, after all.

“Just tell me why. I don’t care if you don’t love me anymore. Just tell me why.”

“Fine.” You said. “The real reason I broke up with you wasn’t because I wasn’t happy. Trust me, I was beyond happy.”

“Stefan and Damon said you’ve been just as happy without me. What’s that all about?” Kai asked, cutting you off.

You shrugged. “I realized I didn’t need you. Because if you really want to know why I broke up with you kai, it’s because-

Thoughts?

Masterlist

Other Chaotic evil fics:

One year | Her

Time
(Kai Parker X Reader) 

“Malachai Parker” She catches the Heretic off guard. He turns his head franticly and searches for her face in the dimly lit room and finds her staring at him with wide doe eyes and parted lips.

“What do you think you’re doing here” He asks, beads of sweat now accumulating at his brows as his fingers around the skate he held in his hand becomes tighter.

“What the hell do you you’re doing” She walks in. Instinctively he takes a step back because he knew. He knew just how lethal she was to him and how she had this power to break even his own stubbornness.

“What does it look like i’m about to do” He raises a brow

“You’re not in a prison world anymore Kai. If you kill yourself…you will stay dead”

“Honestly I’ve experienced dying in every way possible so I think you’re worries are pretty redundant” He shrugs.

“You are not listening to me” She half screams storming into the room such that she was standing in his breathing space “You. Will. Stay. Dead”

“Then i’ll stay dead”

“Gosh why are you so insistent on being so stupid!” She throws her arms up

“BECAUSE YOUR LIFE IS ON THE LINE YOU IDIOT” He nearly explodes, taking a step back

“What are you talking about” She asks in confusion

“Look at your wrists” He instructs as she rolls her sleeves up, shocked to find black, poison filled veins riding up both her arms. No wonder she’s been feeling awful the entire day. She wasn’t sick. She’s been slowly dying from a curse that was placed on her, probably by one of Lily’s Heretic as a comeback for Kai killing Lily off.

“What’s…” She coughs, tasting blood now

“Mary Louise put a spell on you…she’s cloaked herself and her entire trash family and I’ve been trying hard the entire day to find them” He sighs heavily “If I don’t find find her and kill her anytime soon the spell will still be in effect and you will die no matter what” His voice trembles.

“Then why the heck are you trying to kill yourself” Her voice breaks. Kai hangs his head, chuckling darkly. He wipes the sweat with the back of his hand, eyes flickering up to look at her pretty ones endearingly.

“I bounded myself to her. If I die, she dies. If she dies the spell will break… and you’ll live”

His voice echoes in her ears like this uncomfortable yet like a riveting ringing. She didn’t know if it was the ground giving up beneath her or the certain possibly of losing him. She watches in utter distraught as Kai positions the stake to his chest, taking in a deep breath.

“This is not on you” She takes a step forward

“Think about it…you’re helping your friends get rid of one more Heretic and an evil Gemini Coven leader at the same time. That’s two birds with one stone”

“Malachai” She calls his name worriedly takes another step forward to grab a hold of his arm. He caves in, melting to her touch as he drops his arms.

“I’m warning you y/n…don’t come any closer”

“If you’re willing to die for me then why not?” She asks with a tear escaping

“Because every time you come near me, I’m afraid i’ll no longer be able to stand. Every time you lean in closer…I’m afraid I might kiss you without your permission and die regretting I shouldn’t  have waited for so long” He looks at her trembling lips.

“Kiss me” She blurts “Kiss me now”

With one stake still in his hand he acts on command, stepping in to curl an arm around her tiny waist before he settles a desperate kiss on her. Their lips, they tell stories. Short open mouthed gasps and sharp inhales. Soft and succulent she was to taste. He is mind blown at how even during at a time he might just lose her anytime the seconds seemed to stretch out into what felt like hours. He threads his fingers into  hair from the back of her head, kissing her sore until she is basically out of her ability to make sense of what’s going on. Kissing her felt like drinking out of heaven.

She winces, breaking the kiss to look at her wrists where it suddenly burned. Both of them witness as the black veins now drain back into their normal color. It meant that Mary was dead and that the spell was no longer in effect. Kai smiles at the girl in giddy happiness but his happiness is short lived once he realizes one very important thing.

He realized he was still bounded to Mary Louise.

“I should’ve told Damon” He groans watching the girl in pain as she looks down at his bleeding chest that appears out of no where.

“Oh God…no NO!” She grabs a hold of him as Kai staggers forwards and crashes down into the ground on his back.

He’s on his back, breathless and weak as the pain begins to now numb out his veins in his system. The dim lights begin to blend in together.

“KAI!” She hovers over him, stroking the side of his face earnestly as her tears would fall on his face relentlessly. It felt like a gentle rain over him as he takes in a sharp breath to keep himself alive just for a few moments longer. Finally he sees her beautiful face and he smiles like he’s won something.

“I can’t…I can’t believe you actually let me kiss you” He shivers.

She does not know what else to say but to take his hand into hers to blow some warm air.

“Do you regret it?“ more tears blurring her vision as he gazes at her lovingly.

"Oh but how could I…?” He trails “I’d rather die straight after kissing you than to live forever without having the courage to ever do it”

“Kai…” She sobs, as he closes his eyes

“You were the prettiest thing I ever got stuck on”

He remembers her by her name. The color of her eyes and from the wind in her hair. Her heartachingly good scent and the safety of her words. He remembers all of her. He notices how death comes a little differently this time. It was much more lenient with the time it gave to him as supposed to the quick deaths he experienced in the prison world as his life slowly drains from his body. He uses the time to think of nothing but her. 

Then he goes on to finally whisper “Hey…this isn’t so bad after all”

*talks fondly about favorite character *

Person: Wasn’t he the one who murdered all those people, and did all kinds of horrible things?

Me:

Originally posted by imightbeacoffeesnob

IMAGINE PROMPTS

1: “Please don’t leave me. I’m a work in progress but I’m trying.”

2: “Do you know who I am?” “You’re a monster.”

3: “You know, you’re really cute when you sleep.”

4: “If I could go back and do it all over, I would. Anything to get you back.”

5: “You’re gorgeous. This doesn’t change my opinion of you.”

6: “If you ever touch her again, I swear, you will wish all I did was hit you.”

7: “Stop tickling me before I rip your fingers off!”

8: “Rings on or off, baby?”

9: “I need you in every shape of the word. I need you emotionally, physically and at this exact moment, sexually too.”

10: “Stay away from me!”

11: “You are not wearing that out. I will rip it off of you.”

12: “How about I take you under the table right now, with my fingers?” “My parents are coming!” “Guess you’ll have to be quiet then..”

13: “New plan: we keep her alive and sell her organs. You can get a lot of money for kidneys.” “No! You weren’t supposed to kidnap her in the first place! Take her back, now.”

14: “So you’re saying you don’t want to have sex with me?”

15: “You disobeyed me.” “I know but-“ “No buts- you deliberately disobeyed me.”

16: “You could have gotten yourself killed!” “But.. I didn’t?”

17: “He’s the opposite of friendly. He’s unfriendly. As in, don’t be friends with him.”

18: “What did I say?” “You told me to behave.” “What did you do?” “The exact opposite.”

19: “Honestly, I only ask for your help because it’s so cute when you try.”

20: “You know, you’re adorable when you’re mad.” “I can literally kill you.”

21: “Hey, I know being evil is kind of your thing and all, but do you think you could like, not, for just a few days. I’m exhausted. I havent slept in like three days because i’ve been kept up with your schemes. I have three assignments due and you’re not helping. Do you think you could give me a break, just this once?”

22: “That was a great ‘being a hero’ speech, why are you telling me, the bad guy, it?”

23: “Why do you have a basketball? What is a basketball going to do?!” “It’ll hit you!”

24: “You need to sleep.” “Fuck no!” “You can sleep willingly or I can choke you until you pass out. You’ll enjoy either.”

25: “This is the person that took everything from me and I can’t let them take you too.”

7

“so which one do you like the most?” Caroline asked, looking uncertain.

“they were all actually super nice.”

“pff.” Bonnie rolled her eyes, “we set you up with the meanest guys in town and you tell us they were nice?”

“mean? why did you send me on dates with people you dont like?”

Caroline sighed, “cuz we thought if one of them got a girlfriend they wouldent be so mean to everyone.” she paused, “which from what you said, worked out.”

Bonnie rolled her eyes, “too bad she cant date them all and get them out of our hair.”

- MASTERLIST  
                KAI PARKER SMUT -


•  I Always Get What I Want
Kai keeps tugging on reader’s skirt , she tells him off but thats only the beginning …

•  Roommates (A Prison World Story)
Reader gets sent to the Prison World where Kai is. They have briefly crossed parts before  and have spend nearly 5 months together in there, over time getting closer and eventually move in together (as friends , things grow from there) …

•  Don’t Challenge Me (a bit of a sequel to Roommates )

•  All I Want
Kai stalks Reader who is super annoyed because Kai never stops talking , dropping hints about him being in love with her and one day Reader finds Kai sleeping in her bed …

•  Magic Fingers (a prequel of sorts to Don’t Let Me Go)

Bring Me To Life
Reader is in love with Kai but he ignores it because the feelings he has scare him and is not sure if it’s love.

•  How I Really Feel
Reader is a part of the MF gang and a which with a different kind of powers. She likes him but Kai doesn’t seem to like her but that’s not exactly true.

•  Just Tonight
(After Kai gets out of the 1994 Prison World , before the merge).
Kai meets Reader at the Grill and they end up making out. Later on Reader leaves and Kai follows her in the dark streets of Mystic Falls.

•  I Know You Like Me
Reader and Kai always are cocky / tease each other , one day Reader is kidnapped and Kai comes to her rescue.

•  Thunderstorms
Reader is afraid of Thunderstorms and Kai sees that a big storm is coming and rushes to her place worried because of a blackout.

 Lessons
(in the new Prison World) Reader gets sent into the Prison World with Kai. One day Kai comes back and finds out she had sneaked into his room while he was out of the house.

•  No Touching - Part II - Part III (🔥🔥🔥)
Kai get’s injured and get’s horny so Reader has to ‘take care’ of him.

 Hands to Myself
Reader and Kai make a bet  on how long each of them can last without kissing / touching the other.

 Feed On Me
Kai and Reader are best friends. After the transition Kai finds himself wanting to bite her , feed on her and …

•  Friends With Benefits
Reader and Kai are friends with benefits.

•  Fuck Away The Pain
(based on the song ‘’Fuck Away The Pain” by Divide The Day)

•  Under The Stars
Reader feels insecure because of all the supernatural girls throwing themselves at Kai and she doesn’t feel like she is good enough.

•     Taking Back My Love 😈
(based on the song ‘Taking Back My Love’ by Enrique Iglesias & Ciera)

•     Moonlight 🔥
Reader and Kai live together but are not a couple. One hot summer night he wakes up and she is not in the house.

•     Miss me ?  🔥
Reader comes home finding Kai touching himself.

•     That’s Kinda Hot 🔥
Reader squirts for the first time.

•     Punishment  
Kai sees Reader dancing with another guy and then punishes her.

•     Having Fun? 
Kai is on the phone and Reader is suuupppeeer horny , but he wont pay attention to her and she decides to take matters in her hands.

•     New Things
Reader gives Kai the head for the first time.

•     Scars
Reader is a werewolf who has been in a lot of fights and has some scars on her body , and she doesn’t want to sleep with Kai because of them.

•     If You Want It - Take It 
Reader is sent to the Prison World where Kai is but doesn’t know she is not alone until one day they meet accidentally and move in together @ the Salvatores.

•    Bumpy Ride 
Kai and Reader go on a road trip ; He teases reading right before they leave and then its a bumpy ride.

•     Fast Friends
Reader meets Kai at the Salvatore’s and he teases her with magic.

•      Midnight Surprises 🔥
A sequel toIf You Want It - Take It

•      Rule Breaker 😈
Kai has set rules when it comes to him and Reader doing things and Reader breaks one of them.

•      Snowy Honeymoon 🔥
Reader is a witch and she gets married to Kai , seemingly neither of them liking the other but on their honeymoon something happens.

•      Fireflies
Kai and Reader go on a camping trip in the woods.

•      Addicted to You [praise kink] 🔥
Kai and Reader are (fr)enemies with benefits , thought thats not exactly the truth.#iSuckAtSummaries😄

•      Chill 🔥
Reader is tired of Kai teasing her , saying she is too serious and needs to chill and after one of the parties in MF things … happen.😈

•      EX’s and OH’s [threesome smut] 🔥(ft. Kol Mikaelson)
Kai and Reader are a couple and then out of the blue Kol (her ex) shows up after he comes back to life.😈

•      Party Surprises  🔥
Kai and Reader are having fun at the Salvatore’s with the MF gang and Kai gets horny and then things happen. [a bit of a sequel to ‘ Fast Friends ’]

•      24/7  🔥
based on the song ‘24/7′ by David Correy  

•      First Time
Reader’s parents (leaders of the werewolf pack in Portland) and Kai’s parents arrange a marriage to grant peace between the supernaturals in Oregon. Both Kai and Reader are 17 years old at the time. On her 18th birthday something happens for the first time.

•      More Of You 
A dominant Kai.

•    Awwh, am I being punished ?🔥
‘Awhh, am I being punished. Cuz that’s kinda hot.’ // Kai screwes up and Reader punishes him.
[a sequel to  IF YOU WANT IT TAKE IT  /  MIDNIGHT SURPRISES ]

•      Handcuffs 
Kai handcuffs himself to Reader to get her to admit she feels something for him, and thingshappen.

•      More Than Friends
Reader calls Kai to pick her up from a party and when he comes to get her, he is all grumpy while she is happy and horny. Then on the ride ‘home’ something happen.

•      Distractions  🔥
Reader has a paper to finish, but Kai has other ideas about their afternoon together.

•      The Best Birthday 🎂
It’s Reader’s birthday and after four years, she finally gets to spend it with Kai.

•      Hunger  🔥
dom!kai   |  Kai goes away for a couple of days and when he comes back he finds Reader at a bar with some guy’s hands around her.

•      Up in Flames
Reader is talking on the phone and Kai forces her to stay on the phone while he goes down on her. (dom!kai/a little rough smut)

•      Let’s Ruin the Friendship 🔥
Kai and Reader are roommates and secretly both of them have a crush on each other but neither of them does anything until one day something happens everything changes.

•      Into My Bloodstream  🔥
It’s Halloween night. 🎃 There is a party in the woods by the old cemetery and Kai sees one of Reader’s games in action, not realizing how big of a turn on it would be for him.

•      Walls Could Talk🔥
It has been a whole week of studying and exams for Reader, during which she and Kai hadn’t been together.

•      You and Me🔥
 It’s Reader and Kai’s anniversary and the celebrations start before the sun is up.

•      Forbidden Love [slight smut] 🔥
Reader and Kai are college roommates; and they love each other but can’t be together.

•      Crazier [smut] 🔥
Kai and Reader are spending the holidays at Reader’s parents’ place.

•      New Beginnings [smut] 🎆❇✨
It’s New Years Eve; Kai and Reader are spending it together along with the Mystic Falls gang at the Salvatore Boarding House.

continues >>>

▪ M A S T E R L I S T – S M U T • 2018 ▪

Prompt List of Sarcasm [2]

Prompt List of Sarcasm: One 

  1. “I just know something bad is going to happen.” 
  2. “You don’t look like an angel.” 
  3. “This is who I am. Nobody said you had to like it.” 
  4. “Don’t talk. Please.” 
  5. “I’ll make my own decisions, thank you.” 
  6. “This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” 
  7. “Thank you, Captain Obvious.” 
  8. “Whoop! Whoop! Over-reaction alert!” 
  9. “It’s so ugly… I LOVE IT!” 
  10. “You lucky bastard.” 
  11. “We’re young. We’re fine. Let’s do some damage.” 
  12. “Who’s the bitch now, bitch?” 
  13. “I picked a helluva a day to quit drinking.” 
  14. “What’s that? Your stripper money?” 
  15. “Don’t you just hate those things you say that make you feel really blonde?” 
  16. “When I say problem, I mean global crisis.” 
  17. “Well, you don’t need to be snarky about.” 
  18. “If KARMA doesn’t hit you, I’ll do it.” 
  19. “Did you just fall?” “No, I attacked the floor.” “Backwards?” “I’m freaking talented!” 
  20. “Of course I can see you. I’m not blind you know.” 
  21. “The world can be amazing when you’re slightly strange.” 
  22. “Life is too short to wear boring clothes.” 
  23. “You throw punches, I throw insults.” 
  24. “Wow, I wish I could speak whale.” 
  25. “Sometimes I forget my middle name.” 
  26. “Let me just pound your head into the cement quick.” 
  27. “Yeah, I got that from your 600 voicemails.” 
  28. “I love the way your foul little mind works.” 
  29. “Haha, made you look.” 
  30. “Have you ever tried to run in heels?” 
  31. “Oh honey, I have a fake laugh with your name written all over it.” 
  32. “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth.” 
  33. “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.” 
  34. “Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.” 
  35. “Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case, they are nothing.” 
  36. “How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open.” 
  37. “I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.” 
  38. “Well aren’t we just a freakin’ ray of sunshine.” 
  39. “I’m the dumbest smart person you’ll ever meet.” 
  40. “You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.”
  41. “Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?” 
  42. “I could do that, but I won’t.” 
  43. “How come you’re here? I thought the zoo is closed at night…” 
  44. “You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me.” 
  45. “Oh, honey, don’t feel bad. There’s a lot of people out there who don’t have talent!” 
  46. “I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?” 
  47. “Sorry… I wasn’t born with a filter.” 
  48. “At least there’s one thing good about your body. It isn’t as ugly as your face.” 
  49. “I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your ass.” 
  50. “People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.” 
  51. “You grow on people, but so does cancer.” 
  52. “It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.” 
  53. “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.” 
  54. “If I throw a stick, will you leave?” 
  55. “Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.” 
  56. “And that’s why women living longer.” 
  57. “Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.” 
  58. “I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.” 
  59. “If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn’t be murder, it would be an apocalypse!” 
  60. “This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.” 
  61. “Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?” 
  62. “I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?” 
  63. “Don’t let your mind wander, it’s far too small to be let out on it’s own.” 
  64. “Don’t you realize that there are already enough people to hate in the world without you putting in so much effort to give us another?” 
  65. “I don’t know what makes you some dumb but it really works.” 
  66. “Don’t thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure.” 
  67. “I’m impressed. I’ve never met such a small mind inside a big head before.” 
  68. “You are not as bad as people say. You are much, much worse.” 
  69. “Please keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.” 
  70. “What do I say?” “I hear “hello” is really popular.” 
  71. “My ex had one very annoying habit. Breathing.” 
  72. “Please don’t interrupt me when I’m talking to myself.” 
  73. “You did what with who for how many muffins?” 
  74. “Heaven won’t take me and hell’s afraid I’ll take over.” 
  75. “I’m still drunk from last night.” 
  76. “I’m sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.” 
  77. “Zombies ear brains. You’re safe.” 
  78. “If only closed minds came with closed mouths.” 
  79. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d bot be wrong.” 
  80. “Babe, if a woman tell you “You’re right” that’s called sarcasm.” 
  81. “Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.” 
  82. “There’s someone for everyone, and the person for you is a psychiatrist.” 
  83. “I want to say I’m hear to listen to your problems, but I’m not a therapist and I don’t like you.” 
  84. “Your flexibility amazes me. How do you get your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass all at the same times?” 
  85. “I’m actually not funny. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.” 
  86. “Oh, you don’t like me? Well have a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck.” 
  87. “I’m sorry I slapped you… But you didn’t seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.” 
  88. “It’s called karma, and it’s pronounced ‘haha fuck you’.” 
  89. “I’m not jealous, I just don’t like the bitch.” 
  90. “Wanna see how far my six inch heel can go up your ass?” 
  91. “Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.” 
  92. “You look like something I drew with my left/right hand.” 
  93. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.” 
  94. “I’ve got a good heart but this mouth…” 
  95. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.” 
  96. “I take super hot showers to practice burning in hell.” 
  97. “If you don’t like me and still watch everything I do, BITCH YOU ARE A FAN.” 
  98. “Sweetie, I’m gonna need you to put those few remaining brain cells together and work with me here, okay?” 
  99. “Have you ever had those days when you are holding a stick and everybody looks like a pinata.” 
  100. “The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.”


Request: [x] Masterlist: [x]

2013 me : *sees a villain* I love you

2018 me : *sees a villain* You’re a fucking awful person and the main reason for my frustration, but I still love you.

Stelenna’s masterlist🌷

Last updated: September 7th, 2018

The vampire diaries:

Kai Parker x Reader

One year

Winter kisses

History repeats

Birthday blues

Ready for it

All evening

Just Friends

All I want for christmas is you / 2

Compelled

Friends /  2  /  3  /  4  / 5 /  6

rose petals

Writings

You will always be in my memories

Opposites attract

Happy Birthday

Teen wolf:

Stiles Stilinski x Reader

new girl

Saturday

Scott McCall x Reader

Let me kiss you

Riverdale:

Sweet Pea x Reader

Racers

Tattooed

Wouldnt be the last

Study hall

Art

Her sister

Bruises and apologizes

Detention

His friend

Bus ride

Meet the father

Besties  / 2 /  3 /  4 /  5 / 6 / 7

Bijou

Friday night

Friday night fights

The only one

Nightmare

Eighteen

The Serpent princess

tutor

The party

Ride

I think i’m in love

The runaway girl

Pool, baby

Rainy day

Nervous

You love to hate me

Beer pong and milkshakes

Camping trip

Her

Wake me up

The serpent and the bulldog

Her other daughter

The absence

More than friends

Four hours, four mistakes

The summer kick off

The failed surprise

The drive in

The best

Not my girlfriend

Knight in shining armour

That time of month

Jealous

Just like in the movies

Night in

Secrets

Confession

Summer bash

Jughead Jones x reader

serpent in disguise

Fangs Fogarty x reader

The breakup

Talented

Toni Topaz x Reader

Not my type

Her secret girlfriend

Major crimes:

Brandon North x Reader

Things will be better tomorrow

3,4,5

Shawn Mendes:

All Mine

Stranger Things:

Steve harrington x Reader

Ahoy