ka mi

“Stvar je u tome što ne mogu više. Ne ovo. Ne ovako. Počinjem da se osećam loše, a ti bi trebalo da si pozitivni aspekt u mom životu.”
Piše, pokazuje aplikacija. Udišem i izdišem duboko, jer nema smisla plakati više.
“Možemo li bar da popričamo?”
“Upravo to radimo”, mahinalno odgovaram.
“Ne ovako. Uživo.”
“Možemo”, ispuštam izdah koji telefon ne može da prenese.
“Dođi.”
“Neću da dođem tu da pričamo. Ako želiš da izađemo negde - u redu, a ako ne… jebiga.”
“Dobro. Onda ću doći po tebe pa ćemo ići negde, je l’ to okej?”
“Jeste.”
“15?”
“Važi.”
Odlazim u kupatilo i samoj sebi ponavljam u ogledalu: “Jaka si. Nećeš plakati. Izdržaćeš. Nebitno je. Stvarno je nebitno.” Pokušavam da se našminkam, jer to je moja najbolja odbrana od suza. Krvave oči je lako opravdati, ali ne i tragove koji skidaju puder i rumenilo i ostavljaju crno oko očiju. Moj mehanizam odbrane gotovo pola života, a ljudi misle da da mnogo marim oko izgleda. Bacam još jedan pogled na sebe, klimam glavom - onako, nemam pojma što - i izlazim iz stana. Osvrćem se oko sebe, ali ga ne vidim nigde. Zapravo ni ne znam odakle će doći, a to me vraća nekih godinu dana unazad kada sam ga isto tako čekala i olrenula se na drugu stranu kad sam shvatila odakle dolazi. Strah, šta znam. Telefon ne zvoni, a ovaj put ja ne šaljem ništa.
Vrti se, ali kola ne gleda. I odjednom mi pada na pamet da nema pojma o kolima i da ne zna da su ovo moja. Trubim, na šta ne obraća pažnju. Isuviše je odlutala negde. Naposletku okrećem krug, stajem tačno ispred nje i otvaram suvozačeva vrata - Hajde. Jedva primetno se mršti i već očekujem odbijanje uz neke sulude teorije zašto neće ući, ali ipak izdiše duboko - onako bolno, ne onako kako volim - i ulazi unutra.
“Neću te ni taći”, obećavam, “Samo sam želeo nešto da ti pokažem.”
“Znam”, kaže, “Dobro. Nadam se da nije daleko.”
“Jedno 5 - 6 sati, ali šta je to za tebe..”
Ponovo uzdiše. Ponovo ne onako kako treba. Vozimo se ćutke, što je čudno, jer gotovo da nema trenutka kada ona ne priča, onako entuzijastično.. Kao da je sve moguće.

Nervozno vrtim narukvicu oko prstiju ne usuđujući se ni da ga pogledam, ni da mu kažem bilo šta, iako osećam da se on neprestano okreće i gleda u mene. Tišina nije neprijatna, samo čudna. Nikad pre nismo bili ovako tihi dok smo ćutali. Jedino što se čuje je njegovo povremeno tapkanje po volanu kad nas uhvati crveno.
“Još malo pa smo tu”, kaže, na šta ja podižem glavu i osmehujem se. Bože, koliko je lep. Ponekad mrzim sebe što ne mogu da prestanem da zurim u njega kada ga pogledam. Pa iznova i iznova proučavam njegov profil. Čvrsta vilica, pravilan nos, kosa tamna, gusta, uredno pošišana, kao i uvek i verovatno isto onako mirišljava i mekana kao svaki put do sada. Nije obrijan, zbog čega još više poželim da moje jagodice sada pročavaju njegovo lice. Ponovo. Sve dok ne zapamtim svaki pedalj, svaku neravninu..
Okreće se i kaže: “Stigli smo”, i osmeh mu se pojavljuje na licu kada shvati da me je trgao iz sanjarenja. Pogled mu postaje blaži, a na obrazima mu se formiraju jamice, koje bih isto tako dodirnula, a njega približila sebi..
“Pazi, znam da sam lep, ali mislim da će ti se više dopasti da pogledaš desno.” Okrećem glavu kao po komandi i vidim grad, ceo grad ispod nas!
“Ovde dolazim da mislim.. Izađi, još je lepše napolju. Poneo sam ćebe… Dva”, žurno dodaje kada ga pogledam. “Sedi na haubu.. Ili..”
“Nemoj”, kažem.
“Prerano?”
“Možda.”
Ali u pravu je. Prizor je divan. Ispod nas svetla grada, a iznad sjaj zvezda..
Dobro. Bar je progovorila. Pali cigaretu, iako je rekla da je prestala. Jebiga, valjda sam joj sad više nemir nego spokoj. Izdiše dim. Ponovo onako bolno.
“I?”, pitao, “Hteo si da pričamo?”
Skoro sam zaboravio što smo došli ovde. “Ti si ta kojoj nešto smeta. Mislim da je okej da ti budeš u napadu, a ja u ofanzivi.” Koluta očima, ali joj se uglovi usana malo izvijaju.
“Samo.. Ne osećam se okej. Nisi učinio ništa. Dobro, to verovatno i jeste srž problema. Kao da si nestao, a ja samo čekam i čekam i čekam..” Ćuti, ali ja ne progovaram ništa. Ako krenem prestaće. “Pomalo me plaši sve..”, nastavlja, “Jer se osećam tako slabom. I onda sve krene.. Da ti nisam dovoljna, nikako. Razumem da svima treba samoća. Menj prvoj.. Samo..”, glasić joj podrhtava, “Ja tebe nikad ne bih mogla da izolujem od sebe.” Pali cigaretu. Ovo je izgleda sve što ću dobiti večeras.

Ustaje sa haube, prilazi ivici i gleda grad. Čujem kako diše. Okreće se, dolazi do mene i povlači me za noge ka sebi. Naslanja čelo na moje i mrda glavu tako da nam se nosevi povremeno dodiruju.
“Ne želim da te izgubim”, kaže prigušeno, “Ne mogu… Ali bojim se da ti se neće svideti ono što budeš videla. Plašim se da te ne povredim”, stavlja šake oko mog vrata i odmačinje me. “I kakva je to priča da nisi dovoljna? Dovoljno šta? Jedina osoba kojoj nisi dovoljna si ti, razumeš?” Klimam glavom.
Ne prestaje da me gleda, a ja osećam kako mi se usne mahinalno puće i samo čekaju njegove.
Ponovo spušta glavu. “Nemaš pojma koliko bih to voleo da učinim. Šake mu prelaze preko mojih ramena, klize niz ruke i konačno hvataju moje. “Tako male, nežne, krhke.. A opet tako snažne.”, shvatam aluziju, a on ljubi jednu, pa drugu, pa svaki prst posebno, jer “Svaki deo tebe je bitan. Svaki”. Ponovo mi prelazi uz ruke i zaustavlja se na vratu. Ljubi slepoočnice, čelo, nos, obraze.. Izaziva me.
“Je l’ sve u redu?”
“Ne želim da se kriješ”, kažem mu.
“Dobro. Nema bežanja više. Ni mog, ni tvog. Tu sml. Okej?”
“Okej.”
Odmačinje mi glavu kako krenem ka njemu i govori mi da otvorim oči: “Jebeno lepa”, smeje se i počinje da me ljubi.
U redu je. Tu sam. Gde treba da budem. Gde želim da budem. Sa kim hoću da budem.

Tips and Tricks: OC Names

I thought I’d start a little series called Tips and Tricks, just some posts that could give some pointers to Naruto OC creators in terms of names, world-building, clothing etc. This is not to say everything in here is 100% accurate, this is just what I’ve learnt myself, or that it will automatically make your OC perfect. You can use as much or as little of these tips as you want. Maybe you’re just curious and bored and that’s fine too. If you want to talk more about any of these topics, just send us an ask :D

Anyway, onto the most difficult part of creating an OC. AN ORIGINAL NAAAAME.

Ok, this one is something a lot of people get hung up on apparently. I do to, I must admit. Just recently I renamed one of my characters because I thought the new name sounded better and fit her better (even though it was a pain to retag all the posts lmao). So getting it right at the beginning will save you a lot of hassle replacing the name every time you want to change it.

To my understanding, most of the names in Naruto fall into four categories:
Noun-names, folklore names, normal names, and transliterated names. The rest draw inspiration from miscellaneous sources, but I will talk about that later.

Noun names: The most common type of name found in the Naruto world is a Japanese noun. Naruto is a Japanese type of cake on top of ramen, Kiba is Japanese for fang, Kakashi is Japanese for scarecrow. The list goes on and on – Iruka ‘dolphin’, Kurenai ‘lipstick’, Shika ‘deer’, Chou ‘butterfly’, Ino (short for inoshishi) ‘wild boar’ etc.
When naming your OC, I found it’s good to pick out a noun that either relates to weapons used by the character, a part of their physical appearance, or another characteristic item about them. For example, the name Naruto is emphasised by the ‘swirl’ motive throughout the show, Kiba is named after a dog/wolf tooth, Kakashi is often signified by a henohenomoheji, such as on his dogs’ jackets. Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji are named after the InoShikaChou hand in the Japanese card game hanafuda. Sai is named after a pair of swords/knives. Iruka is a little different – his name is a pun; in the Japanese order, his name is Umi no Iruka, or ‘Dolphin of the sea’.
So, if your OC is a weapons specialist for example, her name could be Tonfa, a weapon. Or if she is a seals specialist, her name could be Souchou, the name of the cursive Japanese calligraphy style used on scrolls and explosive tags.

Folklore names: Another common inspiration for Kishimoto’s character names is Japanese folklore and tales. Sasuke is named after Sasuke Sarutobi, the leader of the Sanada Ten Braves, a legendary group of ninja. Tsunade, Jiraiya and Orochimaru are names after a group of characters from the Tale of the Gallant Jiraiya, who use slug magic, toad magic and snake magic respectively.
These names tend to be more appropriate for characters of high statues, either people who are older (like the Sannin and are therefore from a more formal generation) or those of old clans (like the Uchiha). Note that the Sarutobi from Sasuke Sarutobi was recycled for Hiruzen Sarutobi, another elderly and highly respected character (almost another noun-name, as Sarutobi means ‘monkey jump’ and his summons is a monkey).
Ebisu is also named after one of the Seven Lucky Gods, and he is arguably a ninja of high status/stuck up.

Normal names: These are rarer, and are names that wouldn’t seem out of place IRL. Names like Sakura or Tamaki wouldn’t look out of place normally, but note that these names mostly appear in filler characters rather than main story characters (for instance, while Sakura is a popular girl’s name, it is also a noun-name).

Transliteral names: Arguably even more rare than the normal names, these are usually done for a specific purpose. The most obvious of these is the Lee Clan. Guy, Lee and Metal are all English words that are usually translated as Gai, Ri and Metaru in a lot of fics and romanji Japanese writing, mainly because there is no ‘L’ in Japanese, and it becomes an ‘R’ instead. The same with Boruto – his English name would be Bolt, but unlike Lee, he’s usually called Boruto, for his name to be in the same vein as Minato and Naruto. I would recommend that you only do this if your character is themed around a culture other than Japan or they are part of the Lee clan (in which case their name is probably some kind of music genre).

Other names: Then there are of course the miscellaneous sources that don’t really fall into the above categories. Yamato is an example of this; his name is taken from the ancient Japanese province of Yamato. Other names that probably came from the provinces are Yoshino (Shikamaru’s mother, and a province in the Nara prefecture, wink wonk), Izumo (a Konoha chuunin) and Hyuuga (from the Hyuuga clan).
Then there is of course the Nara clan itself, which is probably based on the Shika part of the InoShikaChou hand. Since Shika means deer, it would have been linked to the Nara park, where over 1200 wild deer roam freely. It all links together to how the Nara clan tend deer in Naruto canon.

Name endings: If you do end up with a name you like but you feel it’s too short of lacking in some way, you can always add a Japanese name ending to it, depending on whether the person is male or female. Generally speaking, the male name endings are: -rou, -shi, -ya, -ji, -ta, -dai, -maru or –o, while female name endings are: -ko, -mi, -ka, -na, -e and –yo.

Naming inside clans: Usually, if your character is part of a clan, there will be a certain rhythm to the naming.
The Hyuuga’s last name means ‘a place in the sun’, so most children (especially girls) will have ‘sun’ in their names somewhere: Hinata ‘place in the sun’, Himawari ‘sunflower’, Hiashi ‘position of the sun’.
The Aburame clan is most likely named after the Japanese word for cockroach, Aburamushi. The word for bug is also ‘mushi’, which is likely where Shino and his father Shibi’s first syllable comes from, as well as the first syllable of Muta Aburame’s name.
The Inuzuka clan’s name means ‘dog hill’ and their clan members are named after dog/wolf body parts (except for Kiba’s sister Hana, who is unusually feminine for the clan anyway). Their dogs are all named after a colour, with a male name ending particle added on.
Hamura and Hagoromo both have the character for feather in their name, and the names of Hagoromo’s sons Indra and Ashura come from the Indian cycle of rebirth, Samasara (incidentally also the name of the Rinnegan). Note that these names are not actually Japanese, like Lee’s name, but are legendary figures, and so are unusual anyway.
The Hatake clan is named after farmland, with Sakumo’s name being crops and Kakashi being named after a scarecrow.
Therefore, if you’re creating a new clan, or adding a member to an existing clan, it’s good to see what all the names have in common and to name in the same sort of vein, just to make it seem more natural.

Writing names: If you’re noting down your OC, it’s great to note down the kanji for their name. In Japanese, just the sounds of the name won’t help with conveying the meaning behind the name, as each syllable/sound can have multiple meanings. However, while it’s good to take down Kanji, also be sure to write out how the name is pronounced; depending on context, the reader’s age and background, kanji can be pronounced differently or the same regardless of what kanji it actually is.
So, for a complete profile, bets to note down the kanji, the sounds (either with romaji or hiragana characters, or katakana if writing foreign words) and the English meaning/why you picked this name specifically in relation to your character. It will help you in the future to decide whether you want to change the name or keep it because it first your character so well.

So that’s it for now, if you have any more questions about names, or want to yell at me about how wrong I’ve been about names or whatever, feel free to pop into the inbox on or off anon, I swear we don’t bite. Some other posts I’m planning to make is about village world-building, outfit tips, clan building, personality writing, pairing writing, context and so on and so forth. You can also send in topics you’d like me to take a stab at covering.

Here’s another link if you want another opinion on this topic: http://fyeahawfulnarutoocs.tumblr.com/post/65514149622/nameception

anonymous asked:

Hi! I'm a bit confused about the characters' names in AkaYona: you spell "Negur" what the scanlation team writes "Neguro", same for Voldo/Vold. So... there are different ways to read in Japanese or something? (your blog is great btw :D)

Hello!

The truth is, anon, that we’re all just throwing darts in the dark here, guessing at how to romanise the characters’ names. The Five Stars’ names appear katakanised as follows in the original Japanese:

  1. Negur: NE - GU - RO
  2. Yotaka: YO - TA - KA
  3. Mizari: MI - ZA - RI
  4. Voldo: VO - RU - DO
  5. Argila: A - RU - GI - RA

The thing is the AkaYona universe is supposed to be an amalgamation of all East Asian cultures (Chinese, Korean & Japanese), so the names don’t have to be strictly speaking “Japanese”. In the Japanese language, words never end in consonants  as consonants must be followed by vowels (except for N, that’s the only consonant you can end words with), so when foreign names such as Edward get katakanised, suddenly they end up having a bunch of vowels that weren’t there before: EDUWARUDO. This is why we sometimes we don’t romanise AkaYona names as they are - because we’re guessing at what the name was really supposed to sound like. Hence why I dropped the last “o” in “Negur” and why the scanlations dropped it in “Vold.”

In truth, though, there’s no right way to spell their names in the Latin alphabet as of yet. We’ll have to wait for the official English release to reach the Xing arc to find out.

Also: I’m so happy to hear you like my blog!!

This weeks episode

Things I like:
- Marco flashback
- Reiner and Eren Arguing
- MI KA SA
MII KAAA SAA (I love Hannes’ new voice actor too)
- “Did I say something wrong?”
- “Back then I thought… I felt sorry for you”
- Bert sitting while hugging his legs aww
- Little Ymir preview aww
- The animation, the makeup that beast titan tho
- Everyone’s “what the hell Reiner face”
- Beautiful music Bless Sawano

Things I dislike:
- Marco flashback (I mean I love it but oh boy ch77 killed me)
- Where is my Beruani scene WIT WHERE IS IT
- No Blushtolt scene either
- That Beast titan tho
- No Eren chicken wings fight
- Emotions everywhere teared up a bit
- It was over too soon too soon Executus

Li­zaki za­mieniły się na pa­piero­sy, niewin­ne stały się dziw­ka­mi. Co­la zamieniła się w wódkę, a ro­wery w samocho­dy. Niewin­ne po­całun­ki przeis­toczyły się w dzi­ki seks. I kiedy pożegnania oz­naczały tyl­ko “do zobaczenia jutro…”.
—  Piotr C. - “Pokolenie ikea”