Imagine homra being very confused because after they make up yata still calls fushimi every name in the book but one time one of the lower ranked guys referred to fushimi as “the traitor” and yata destroyed like half the bar trying to get this guy and was like “WHAT DID YOU SAY COME SAY THAT TO MY FACE WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?” and kamamoto had to be the one to go “you yata-san. he heard it from you. every day for the past four years.”
So I’ve only played Robert’s Route so far, I will play the others soon and do those headcanons. (Unless this gets like only 4 likes, then maybe not.) They range from dating, dealing with kids, domestic, drinking and such.
Robert has a nice knife collection, it would be larger if he didn’t have a lack of financial funds. He has a few rare collectables, a nice k-bar, good hunting knives a fancy katana he got from “some dude at a bar for a good price”. All of them have names and are well taken care for, NO ONE TOUCHES THEM WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION.
He always has a bunch of whiskey on hand, all the good brands none of that cheap stuff. He doesn’t quite believe in shot glasses when he drinks at home, it’s out of regular cups. The only whiskey he finds gross beyond cheap brands is Crown’s Maple whiskey he will spit it out in a second.
Robert always has a plethora of funny nicknames for you, most of the time they are rather embarrassing ones that make you blush and wonder how is he so brave to say such things in front of other people. He likes to see your reaction to it mainly.
Robert is one to leave cleaning house to the night before you coming over to chill for the day. Please don’t randomly show up to his house he’ll act chill about it but under the surface he’s screaming in his head about don’t go to the kitchen or don’t use the bathroom. They are a mess. Laundry on the floor of the bathroom and dishes to the sky in the kitchen.
Robert likes to walk Betsy late at night, never for the mornings as he’s a Night Owl smoking, hip flask full of whiskey enjoying a night walk with her. It calms him down for the day.
The two of you go on the nightly walks, remarking Besty needs a friend so you guys go to the homeless pet shelter and adopt a dog. Betsy of course helps out in this adventure to pick out her new friend. So now the both of you go out for the walks, both dogs in tow holding hands chatting about the day.
Robert is big on opening the doors for you, he feels “it’s right to do” and laughs about some joke for it, as he smacks you on the back. He also likes to pay for the bill when you go on dates specially to the movies.
He doesn’t like making out at the movies, you tried that once and got smacked *playfully* for it, NEVER INTERRUPT THE MOVIE EXPERIENCE. Wait until you get home it will be better if you do.
Robert is a experimental chef aka “it looks safe let’s make dinner from it” that tends to be dangerous for stomachs. Though sometimes it can be fantastic so it’s always worth the shot specially with his wide collection of comical oven mitts.
He’s good with little kids in small doses he’s more attuned with slightly older ones that can understand his stories and give him good reactions to it all. He loves telling ghost stories to them and scaring them it gives him a good laugh he always follows it up with something to cheer them back up.
He will listen to any advice you have about making things better with Val, he respects your thoughts as he views you as a fantastic father. He loves helping out Amanda with school work, granted most of time he’s just blowing steam give him history or science based questions and he’s got the correct answer each time.
Robert enjoys telling stories about the two of you to Amanda to make her laugh or cringe. She’s fond of Robert and loves listening to his stories and she wants to help patch up his relationship with Val very much.
If you stay the night he expects you to help make food, he doesn’t want to do all the work he finds it more romantic if the both of you do it together. Clean up as well a together project after all. Mini food fights while cooking, dabs of batter, frosting, flour, soap bubbles all good ammo.
He will tease you often in the kitchen with a knife, don’t be scared he’s harmless. He just goofy that way.
Robert likes to cuddle on the couch and watch television with the dogs at his feet he likes it when he can rest his head on your lap but he also enjoys it when your head is in his lap. Beware of the random dog jumping on top of you and disrupting the peace.
What if Saru was a super flamboyant drunk who just wants to sexy dance with people (i.e. Lots of strange boys)
So maybe the alphabet squad finally convinces Fushimi to come
drinking with them one day, he’s feeling extra crappy and said yes
only because he feels like getting drunk and Hidaka’s paying. Fushimi
spends most of the night in the corner of the bar as far away from
everyone else as possible, checking his PDA and ignoring everyone and
occasionally drinking. The rest of the squad is having a great time
though so the trip runs long, like a couple of the guys find someone
to flirt with and they’re all talking and drinking and having fun and
so no one realizes exactly how many times Fushimi’s glass has been
refilled (including Fushimi, who’s resolutely playing with his PDA
and only looking up every now and again to take a drink). Eventually
Hidaka goes to pay and is informed that Fushimi’s had like five
beers, Hidaka immediately goes pale both because of the price and
because he and the others all assume that Fushimi must be the
surliest of surly drunks, like there’s no way alcohol could do
anything to Fushimi’s personality but make it scarier.
That’s when he hears a commotion from across the bar and Doumyouji
yelling something like ‘go for it, Fushimi-san!’ Hidaka runs over to
join the rest of the alphabet squad where they and the other patrons
of the bar are staring at one particular drunk who has started sexy
dancing on top of the tables. It takes a moment to realize that it’s
Fushimi, totally drunk and actually smiling, in a very
seductive way that makes more than a few hearts pound (Hidaka and
Akiyama in particular both find their throats suddenly dry and Fuse
has to excuse himself for a moment because he needs another drink and
not at all because he’s suddenly incredibly attracted to Fushimi).
The other bar patrons are into Fushimi’s dancing too, especially when
he jumps off the table and starts seductively approaching anyone
within range, licking his lips, eyes half-lidded and filled with
desire and soon half the bar is clambering to dance with the gorgeous
drunk man. Akiyama steels himself and tries to gently steer Fushimi
to the door for his own safety, instead Fushimi grabs him and
basically starts grinding up against him in a way that makes it very
hard for Akiyama to not just slam him against a wall and make out
Finally the alphabet boys manage to contain themselves long enough to
get Fushimi out of the bar, Fushimi’s still in a dancing mood though
and grabs the first Scepter 4 member he sees upon entering the
building and starts dancing away. The alphabet squad all have to pry
him away again while the random Scepter 4 bishounen is just staring
with glazed eyes because wow Fushimi-san is hot when he’s not being
an asshole. They get Fushimi to bed and everyone hopes desperately
that he doesn’t remember this in the morning. Fushimi wakes up the
next day with a hangover and a desire to stab people but thankfully
no recollection of sexy dancing and everyone is very determined to
keep it that way (then imagine one day post-ROK the S4 alphabet is
sharing this story with the Homra alphabet and Yata walks in like oh
Saruhiko did the sexy dance thing, yeah he’s always done that when he
has too much alcohol and everyone just stares at him).