“if it’s toxic, let it breathe elsewhere. stop waiting for bad love to feel good again. stop waiting for bad love to taste sweet. empathy won’t change stone into gold. time won’t change poison into honey.”
I am afraid of a lot of things, but the thing I am most afraid of is the unknown. I don’t know his thoughts about me, so I spend hours contemplating his every word spoken to me. I wonder when he will fall out of love with me. I wonder if he will ever think about me when he leaves. I wonder if I will find a job after falling into debt to get this degree. I wonder if I will do well in the job. I wonder if people think I am pretty, I wonder if I look okay. I wonder about a lot of things. I wonder how I will die, when I will die, what day of the week it will be, and who I will be with. I am unable to think in the present because I am so scared of the future.
I am scared of things that I don’t know about yet.
“there are apologies i’m still owed and apologies that will probably never come, but by far the most important apologies are the ones i owe myself. for not thinking i was enough, for not thinking i was worthy, for not realizing my magic before.”