justasoul

praevaleo-deactivated20120709 asked:

So I keep seeing all these messages with PWADF. It was the 1st fic I ever read - my friend recommended it to me. And I was shattered. I was 14 and completely destroyed for days after I read it. I'm sure part of it had to do with with my age but even when I think about the story I can still feel my soul ache. I've been wanting to ask you to send it to me, but I feel like I'm not strong enough to put myself through that again. I don't even know why I told you this - prob cuz you'd understand :)

I totally understand! It was my first fanfic too when I was 15 (That I clearly remember reading anyway). I just stumbled across it and yes…same feelings as you. I really loved it though. After I finish uploading all of it on my tumblr I think I will read it one more time. - It will be the second time I read it. Maybe read it with me? Haha.

It should be completely up soon - I am not sending out any more copies though since the version I am putting up is actually edited.

Thank you for sharing this with me though :) I am glad someone feels exactly like me about this story. I am scared of reading it a second time too but I think it will be necessary now that it’s been 5 years since I last read it.

Friends, Dost, Amis, Amigos, Tomodachi...

I was thinking yesterday and it occurred to me how lucky I am.  Let me back up just a bit.  There was a time when I was suicidal.  Or rather, I wasn’t suicidal in the literal sense of the word.  It was more like I just wanted to know if something happened to me, would anyone care?  Would anyone even notice?  I was the definition of insecure.

Over the past two years, I’ve built myself up slowly but steadily.  I would never have been able to do it without all the support I’ve gotten.  It’s made me realize what I should have known all along.  I’ve always had people outside of my family who care.  I’ve always had friends, and I’ve always mattered.

I can ask myself the same questions today:  if something happened to me, would anyone care?  Would anyone notice?

Today, though, the answer to both is unfailingly yes.  I know there are people who care and I know there are people who would notice.  There are people I can trust to help me out with no hesitation if needed it - people who would know I needed help without my even asking.  I would do the same for them, of course.

Whenever I’m feeling down or thinking of quitting, I can think about them and I will always smile and know that everything will be fine.  As long as you have people around you who care about you, everything will always be fine.