when i was a tiny baby queer (aka a 24-year-old), i went to my first pride festival probably three months after i kicked ex-gay therapy to the curb and came out to my parents. being the people they are, my parents came with me. they weren’t really sure about this whole gay thing, but they loved me and wanted me to be safe and happy and wanted to be involved in what was important to me, so they came along. (i also think my mother still might have thought i might get drugged or murdered or beaten by a protester of which there were plenty.)

anyway i wanted a memento of my first pride, you know, and this one vendor was selling keyrings, and i liked it, so i bought one. do you remember those italian charm bracelets that were all the rage like 10-15 years ago? it was a keychain like that, and it had a rainbow rooster, a rainbow cat, and then just a rainbow, and so I bought it.

i run into my mom a couple of vendors over and she goes oh you bought something? what’d you get? so i showed her, and i was like, “I’m not sure why it’s a rooster and a cat. Seems kind of random. But I liked the rainbows.”

and my mom, who was some form of minister’s wife for most of my childhood and teenagerhood, stares at me like she thinks i’m joking.

“What?” i say.

“…it’s a cock and a pussy, Jules,” she says flatly, and that is the story of how i died at the age of 24 while attending my first pride festival.

tonight was a WILD fucking ride. the emotional whiplash was a Lot to process but here’s my usual post: if you are not in this campaign, please let me know what your impression is based upon this post

  • before fighting the dragon: “does anyone have their new characters picked?”
  • “don’t come to fuckhouse island.”
  • everyone affected with fear hiding in trees
  • emmett posting a gif of the “follow your dreams” lawnmower right as selxi was knocked from the sky and then going “see now i just look like an asshole”
  • “i’m gonna shoot at the fucking
  • the elemental DOES do the slam jam!
  • blood and swamp color boots… “the christmas boots”
  • sword arm sword arm!
  • “abel is out new friend who isn’t very strong!”
  • keen and selxi trying to give each other credit for the dragon “keen did it!” “i was gonna tell them YOU did it!”
  • the “it doesn’t have to be like this ____ has two hands” meme but cik only has one 
  • selxis brother giving bell the slingshot back
  • the frogs!!!!
  • and “we shall tell your tale forever, what shall we call you?” (awkward shifting, laughter)
  • “it says baby shoes for sale, never worn”
  • cik just fucking yelling at the wizards and slyvaren just wanting to disappear 
  • bell got his bath!!! 
  • seraphina just dragging literally EVERYONE
  • “oh, you’re orna’s older sister, how’s… that…. is she… a gemini?”
  • them greeting maedis “with hey fucko!” “can i talk to a normal fucking person”
  • “ohhh i love her, i wanna see my grandmother!” “she’s old enough to be your mom, old man” … “grandma!”
  • “do you mind… cold one… is it because i’m white”
  • jokes about cik’s hand (he lost one)
  • about abel: “she’s kind of a dumbass but it’s cool”
  • “your name’s not actually big dick, is it?”
  • “roll to see if the moon goddess is gay”
  • “lesbians can eat people too” (”jennifer’s body!”)
  • “is orna an atheist redditor”
  • “there’s a lot of people i’d pick a fight with, but selxi’s not one of them”