just-obsessed

“I can’t just watch it objectively. I always hate it and then come back to, like, ‘Okay, that’s fine, it’s not about me. It’s the story.’

I can’t watch it once. I have to watch it five times, you know? The movie is over. It’s on film, so it’s permanent. But if I think about it more, it’s just an obsessive loop I keep playing in my mind that I can’t get caught up in because it’s totally self-destructive and not helpful moving forward.

Because that’s happened to me before. I see myself, and then the next thing I’m thinking about is Fucking hell, my face is long or Why am I doing that thing!

Adam Driver on not watching his own performances, Esquire

anonymous asked:

do you think that there are no talented white actors/actresses? or that they're just fewer than talented actors/actresses of color?

I think there are talented white actors/actresses. Meryl Strep? A goddess among mortals. Helen Mirren, Dame Judi Dench, show-stopping. Daniel-Day Lewis? Amazing! But I think, overall, POC are better actors and actresses. 

Why, you may ask?

The answer is simple. For the most part white actors/actresses just need to be reasonably attractive by Hollywood standards, (typically white, slim and blonde-2 out of 3 can be cosmetically altered), while POC have to truly be phenomenal to get even the smallest roles. 

Take Jennifer Lawrence for example, she’s actually not that great (of a person or actress) and yet, for whatever reason, she’s Hollywood’s newest Blonde Obsession. Also, just look at what pops up when you google “Best actors and actresses”:

Literally 44 white actresses , 9 of whom are dead, show up before Viola Davis of all people! And NO Actresses of other ethnicities.  Like….VIOLA DAVIS! The only black actress to be nominated for 3 Academy Awards, and the only black actress to have the Triple Crown of Acting (A Tony, A Golden Globe and an Oscar)! But she’s 44th on the list?! And that’s because in Hollywood, talent is secondary to beauty and beauty in Hollywood is always determined by how eurocentric you are. 

So sure, there are talented white actors and actresses, but POC are ALWAYS more talented because our talent has to be extraordinary from the get go to get even a quarter of what some of these mediocre actresses have attained

sometimes I think that the tradeoff for not having bad scrupulosity/intrusive thoughts anymore is being a worse person, like I ditched being principled in exchange for sanity, but actually I think I give a lot more to the people around me when I’m not a) fucking crippled by senseless internal structures and b) imposing these structures on others over shit that doesn’t matter. rigidity blocks compassion. like were the sex neg tumblr freaks I looked up to for no reason ever actually particularly good people, or were they just also traumatized obsessive compulsives who were terrified of themselves and others. 

WHY I LOVE U

Venus in Aries: I heard your laughter before I saw you. And then I couldn’t take my eyes off you. And after everyone had gone home we were still running around, or you were running I was just trying to keep up. You work hard, play hard and love even harder, but you like to try on a couple of sizes before you find the right fit. It’s the way you make me laugh at the most ludicrous things, the way you know exactly what you want and are not afraid to go and get it. You make me feel like anything is possible. Our love was like a tickle war turned makeout session, and I still remember the heat when our skin touched. There will never be anyone like you. 

Venus in Taurus: Being with you is like coming home. Like a perfect dream. Like lavender candles and cuddling up to a marathon of our favourite show. You kissing me between every episode. You don’t like playing games and you don’t like being rushed when falling in love. You take your sweet time, worshipping my body and my mind so my heart can’t help but follow. I remember those lazy Sundays, strolling through the furniture store, your hand in mine and we would pretend to decorate our future house. But all we came out with were more lavender candles and a burning lust for each other. You turn the mundane into something truly magical. 

Venus in Gemini: You drive me crazy, I never know where we stand. We spend the most incredible nights together and then I don’t hear from you in forever. Maybe that’s your style, you wanna look me in the eyes and not read my words on your phone. We sit for hours and people watch, making up backstories for them. When I’m with you I have no sense of time, all I can think about is your mischievous smile and the way you play with my hair. Your love is all-consuming, like nothing in the world matters to you more. With you my sense of reason is completely clouded, I’m yours for the night and every other night. If you’ll have me. 

Venus in Cancer: My hero, my sensitive babe. Your heart on your sleeve, that look in your eyes and I was yours forever. When you kissed me I could see our lives flashing before my eyes. Sitting on opposite sides of the sofa. Your nose in a book but your hand on me, like you needed to be connected to me or else you’d die. Every time you catch me staring at you I can’t help the grin on my face. You are fragile and strong, creating this protective space around us where we can just be together. I love how you’re not afraid of your feelings, and how you already named our kids even though we need to discuss it lol. You make it feel so real, like you are the missing piece of the puzzle. 

Venus in Leo: I remember the first time I met you, it all happened so fast. At a party, my friend introducing you and before I knew it your arms were around me. I remember melting into your hug, and the electricity in the air when we finally let go. Everyone else thought it was weird but we both knew, there was no turning back. Being with you feels like running through a field of flowers, faster and faster. Your laughter and your moans echo in my head. My legs feel like giving out but your hand refuses to let go of mine. It’s that smile after you say something clever, and they way you make me feel like it’s just me and you versus the world. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this loved. 

Venus in Virgo: You make me feel whole. Driving down the freeway blasting our songs, I can’t sing but you don’t care. Your hand on the stick shift and for some reason I got all hot inside. It’s the way you wrap your arms around me at the checkout line, like I’m yours and you don’t care who knows. You’re thoughtful and observant, you make me feel like I matter to you. And it’s not an act, you are actually that kind. I’m trying so hard to describe you, but all I can think about is that night when my family fell apart. You drew a bath with bubbles and you held me until the water went cold. Then we ate raspberries (my favourite) and watched Modern Family. And then you loved me until I didn’t feel like I was falling apart anymore. I think that describes you more than words ever could. You’re the one I see sitting next to me on our porch doing a crossword puzzle, in our old bodies. But it doesn’t scare me because your spirit is forever young. 

Venus in Libra: Being in love with you is so easy. Our first date was to the movies. You gave me a red poppy and held my hand the entire time, gently playing with my fingers. My heart was about to beat out of my chest but somehow I was calm, because you were. I love the way you talk so easy, with that breezy confidence. Like you’d never tell me a lie. The way you were charming and kind to everyone from the bus driver to the server at the pizza shop. After talking to each other all night in the park, it was the only place that was still open. My mum still asks about you. I think she loved you more than I did, and that’s saying something. 

Venus in Scorpio: God, the way you tear me apart and then put me back together. Over and over again. You of all people know that life isn’t always chocolates and roses. You’re not afraid of the ugliness of human nature, instead you try to find the silver lining, the beauty in the madness. You demand that I’m honest with you, and in turn you trust me with your own secrets. It created a bond beyond love, or maybe it was love. It just felt different, like it was based in reality and not a love story. You’ve seen me at my worst and still think I’m beautiful, because you see people’s souls. Nobody can hide their true nature from you for you are an expert of reading between the lines. Your animalistic passion penetrates deep, and everything becomes a haze of lust and obsession. Because if you’re not obsessed it’s just not worth it. I would trust you with my life, because you would sacrifice your own for the one you love. 

Venus in Sagittarius: We had just gotten comfortable on the top of the mountain we climbed when you hit me with “Do you think out of seven billion that some people have the same personality?” And you packed my favourite sandwich, tomato, mozzarella and basil. A moment of breathless kisses and triumph. Your strength made me feel strong too, and your devotion made my heart swell. You never stand still but it doesn’t matter, because you take me with you and always make sure I’m alright. You make me feel included, showing me off and introducing me to all your friends. I’ve never felt more proud than when I’m standing next to you. When you told me how much you loved me I knew it was true. 

Venus in Capricorn: The true romantic. What drew me in was that calm stare, you looked like trouble I swear I was gonna faint on the spot. You could keep up with me, and when you took my hand and said “Trust me?” I somehow believed you. But what made me fall for you was how you kept all your promises. Your presence is honest and true, the way you make me feel like I would never be alone, like I would always have a friend. I love falling asleep in your arms to your heartbeat. You’re gentle with me, I can feel your love in every touch. Your love made me believe I could do anything, because I knew you would stick by my side. If I asked you to. 

Venus in Aquarius: Keep it cool, that’s how you roll. Almost untouchable, but you let me touch you. It was like the seasons changed in seconds. You finished that last drop of champagne and said “Let’s get wet”, then we jumped in the pool. And then you kissed me. It felt like breathing underwater, I don’t even think you live in the same world as the rest of us. I texted you at 2 a.m. and you didn’t hesitate. Trapped between your body and the wall, your lips on my neck and I was already in heaven. I never thought you loved me back, until you showed up on my doorstep, whiskey on your breath and tears in your eyes. After that I never doubted you, because I knew then that your love was more than words. 

Venus in Pisces: With you it’s all about the moment, and moments with you are plush and whimsical. Like sitting on a cloud. You are still the only person to ever write me a poem. And when you asked me if I liked it, how you let me see your vulnerable side even though the look in your eyes was sheer terror, you were brave. I was at loss for words so I just kissed you deeply. You see the beauty in the little things, like asking me about what I dreamt last night or giving me cupid earrings so they could whisper sweet nothings in my ear when you’re not around. Your love is poetic, you actually think of me and what makes me happy. Whenever you see something that reminds you of me you always let me know. I can’t help but think how lucky I am to be so cherished.

“Don’t you just hate when inanimate objects attack you?”

@acindra

To all y’all who wanted V’s route to be him and Rika getting back together

Guess what? Make the right choices during his route, and you get your wish! :) And guess what else? :) 

IT’S FUCKING HORRIBLE. 

So basically, if you’re enough of an asshole to both V and Rika towards the end of the route, you’ll be treated to a lovely bad ending on Day 10 where V ditches you to go back to Rika. And this bad ending perfectly encapsulates why V and Rika’s relationship is absolutely toxic, has always been toxic, and will always be toxic. 

As soon as V shows up at her door, Rika pretty much dissolves into desperate sobbing, telling V that she was wrong and begging him to stay with her. She asks for forgiveness, and promises that she won’t hurt him anymore. So that’s good, right? Everything is lovely and romantic and #relationshipgoals now, right?

In order to gain his forgiveness, Rika offers to let V hurt her now instead. 

Yup, that’s right. Now the oh so healthy cycle of domestic abuse is being reversed! Rika tells him that he can do anything that he wants to her, telling him that he can “mangle” her body and complete their “Reunion” photoshoot. 

And V agrees. He stays with her, and agrees to hurt her…so that he can protect her (???). Like great, good job guys, now they’re both crazy.

At this point, they both know their relationship isn’t based on love for one another. Rika is desperate to be wanted (by anyone) and V is desperate to find his meaning in providing someone else with “love.” Essentially, they’re just obsessed with the idea of love itself, and very much want to feel love, but are not and have never actually been in love with one another. 

I literally do not understand how people can still be romanticizing their relationship. I still see people who are upset that V’s route ended his and Rika’s troo wuv story, and I’m just??? So confused. Because listen. I like Rika. I like V. But their relationship together is actually the worst thing ever™. Unless you literally hate both characters, I don’t see how you could support this pairing. If they get back together, they will destroy each other. In order for either of them to even begin healing/moving towards happiness, this relationship has to end. And that’s why Cheritz gave us the great route that they did. 

TL;DR: IF YOU’RE STILL ROMANTICIZING V AND RIKA’S RELATIONSHIP: