Happy Birthday @enoughtotemptme! Keeping the tradition alive, here is your birthday ficlet. Remember when I said not canon? Woops. Future fic/au/etc. - you know the drill. Happy birthday love! <3
When Bellamy winces for the third time in as many minutes, Clarke decides she’s had enough.
“Alright, get up.” Ignoring his protests, she rounds the fire and pulls him into a seated position, trying to shove the jacket off his shoulders. He does nothing to help, just sitting there and giving her an infuriating smirk.
“Y’know princess, if I’d known you wanted to—”
“Shut up,” she warns through gritted teeth. “You need to let me look at your arm. Right. Now.”
The smirk disappears. “Clarke, it’s a scratch—”
“A scratch that won’t let you sleep.” She glares at him, and he glares right back. After fifteen very unproductive seconds, Clarke reaches further down and digs her thumb into his forearm. Bellamy swears, loudly.
She folds her ams. “Jacket off.”
Still glaring, he shrugs his arm out, but she doesn’t miss the beads of sweat that trickle from his forehead. He thrusts his arm in her direction.
“Bellamy…” she shakes her head as she takes in the swelling. Just a scratch, indeed. Sighing, she looks at him. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Bellamy,” Clarke tilts her head, trying to catch his eye. “You are important. Therefore this is important. Okay?”
He makes a soft sound; it could be a laugh, but it’s too rueful for that. When Bellamy looks up, there’s such a stark sadness on his face that Clarke almost forgets about his arm. “Why do you always do that?” He asks.
“Why do you always say everything except what you actually mean?”
Taken aback, she just stares. “I…”
Bellamy shakes his head and looks off into the trees. “Nevermind.”
“No, Bellamy, I—”
“Nevermind,” he says again, still holding his arm out.
In silence, she treats the infected wound and binds it carefully, forcing herself to pay attention to the work in front of her and not his words ringing in her mind. Was she really guilty of shielding herself that much when it came to him?
"I'm sorry, I just can't deal with this right now." for the five sentence fic. :)
Season 9 || Post William || I’m sorry
‘I’m sorry, I just can’t deal with this right now.’
It’s been four minutes since she last spoke, to say hello, and the therapist catches Scully with her eyes as she tries to gather her stuff to leave.
‘Miss Scully. I know this is a difficult time for you, but I-’
‘Do you?’ Scully cuts her of with two brutal syllables, her knuckles whitening around the handle of her briefcase. ‘Do you really know how “difficult” this time is for me Dr Hansard?’ And though the therapist starts to reply, now that the words have loosened in Scully’s throat, there is no stopping them pouring forth, drowning any offer of help as they fill the room.
‘Do you know what you were doing last night at 3am Doctor? Or how about last Friday at 3am. Or last year? 1997? What were you doing on July 9th, 1994 at 3am? Sleeping probably, most people would be, and if they weren’t it’s unlikely they’d remember what exactly they were doing at 3am on a random day any time in the past decade. But I can tell you.
The day after our first case together, Fox Mulder called me, after 2am, just to talk things over. At 3am I was still awake, thinking about all that we’d achieved, all that we still had to find out. And that was just the first time. Almost every night for the next seven years I was awake at three, talking to him, learning him, or awake by instinct, thinking of him and wondering if he would call. Whether I should call. I was never alone at 3am. He was just a phone call away.
And then he was closer. So close. He was under my skin and everywhere and when I woke up at 3am I could reach out and touch him. It turns out 2.47 was his nightmare blackspot, so 3am was when I would hold him and scare the demons away. Sometimes when I woke up he’d be watching me. Loving me. It was as simple as that. Every 3am, for better for worse he was there, loving me. Making love to me. Until he was gone.
The first 3am was the worst. I was in hospital and I didn’t know yet. I thought I was alone and that night was agony. The next one was a little better, for the imagined flutter of our baby growing inside me. So though 3am was hard, it wasn’t impossible. 3am was when I prayed for him. Prayed for them both. It was a painful peace but I had hope. Even after he died.
Even after he came back different. 3am was a ritual, and it was close to the time he came to my door and asked if he was the father and then came back to me. He worshipped us both at 3am. All day really, but it was special at that moment. For as long as it lasted.
I made him go.
And part of me went with him. But the rest of me had a purpose. At 3am there would be soft snuffling on the baby monitor. I could while away the loneliness knowing that William needed me. That Mulder was gone but that I was still not alone.
Except now I am alone.
That room where I used to rock him is empty, study furniture stacked hastily over the baby blue walls as if that can somehow make up for the silence. For the cold spot on my shoulder where he used to lie. I bought new sheets. I thought maybe that would make it easier, but the bed is still empty doctor, the house is still empty. I am still empty. And 3am is the emptiest.
Every night. At that moment I lie awake an listen for the breathing of my son, for the heartbeat of my love, for the ringing of that phone from all those years ago, and when they don’t come, the silence smothers me.
That’s how difficult it is for me, doctor. And I’m sorry. But I can’t do this right now.’
Do you have any tips on loosening matts in a cats fur? One of my cats gets terrible matts when she sheds her winter coat and we have to cut them out, but they're stuck tight to her chest and sides right now and I don't know how to loosen them. She feels much better without the matts and I don't want her to have to deal with them for longer while they release naturally. I can't afford a groomer or I'd just take her to one of them
Honestly, I am not willing to give you any other advice than: you need to find a way to afford a groomer, or do a payment plan with one.
Matts are painful and super close to the skin and if you try to get them out yourself you can and will rip your cat’s skin and hurt them a huge amount. It is pretty inhumane, honestly, to try to do it yourself - it requires specialized tools and having been trained.
Find the money, then start a regular brushing regimen so they don’t come back.
I’m honestly so freaking tired of asexuality and aromanticism being the first thing people think of when they need some way to distinguish humans from non-humans. Or just childbearing in general. Every time people try to come up with distinctive inhuman features of aliens/golems/robots/whatever, the first three ideas are “heart, soul, the ability to love.” Always. And 9 times out of 10 all three of those are portrayed as a lack of romantic love or an inability to form/difficulty understanding relationships in general (which honestly isn’t any less problematic.)
In the rare event that they reject the arophobic knee-jerk reaction, they’ll next go to free will, and then carry right on through to acephobia and compulsory motherhood. I just. I keep seeing the same justifications time after time after time and it’s pissing me off.
“All natural species have an innate and irresistible desire to reproduce.” Oh, good. So now I’m not only inhuman, but I’m also not even a natural species? Thanks.
“The incomparable joy of pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting” and how it only makes sense that anyone/any inhuman thing using female pronouns must live with crippling jealousy unless and until she reproduces.
Good deeds, inventions, discoveries, art, and community impact are all nice, but they’ve got nothing on a genetic legacy. If a woman doesn’t have kids, “she may have an existence but she has no future.”
Look, I’ll be civil. Even when I’m cussing you out inside my head I’ll be respectful in my explanation of how and why those stereotypes are harmful. But it would be nice if just once I didn’t have to ask someone not to imply that I’m not human.
I'm... gay. I hate it so much. Like I would put myself into conversion therapy if it would make me straight. But my country banned it two years ago. I don't know what to do. I want to accept myself, more than anything, but I can't. What can I do? I feel awful.
You are dealing with so much right now, I can understand why you would feel awful. Let me tell you something, conversion therapy, even if it was legal where you were, would not make you straight, in fact, it would probably make you feel even worse about this entire situation.
Overcoming internalized homophobia is incredibly difficult, you are not alone when you say you wish you weren’t gay. There are a lot of us who have wished to be straight at some point just to make living easier. I’ve been one of those people. Accepting yourself can be a long and difficult road, you have to make the decision to love and accept yourself for who you are. I would start with looking at yourself in the mirror everyday and saying something like, “I’m gay and that’s okay. I love and accept myself.” You don’t have to believe it right away, but it’s something you should practice like a self-mantra every day, and sooner or later you may find yourself believing what you say. It’s a hard decision to make, but ultimately you have to be the one that decides you don’t want to hate yourself anymore for being gay, you have to decide that from this day forward you are going to learn to be kind to yourself and love yourself for who you are. I wish you all the best hun. Be kind to yourself and take care, okay?
Do you know of any reversible spells to get over something? Cause there's something in my life that I can't do anything about right now, but I'll be able to deal with it soon. It hurts while I can't do anything, but when I can I want to be emotionally ready. Do you know of anything to help me just forget or come to terms with this until I can change it?
I would suggest spells for strength or courage, honestly, to help you get through something. I just don’t see the point in casting a spell to get over something, if you just want to undo it later, to get back into it and handle it then? You know what I mean? Also, the spells I’ve seen to help move on and get over something are pretty permanent-looking, because you’re supposed to move on and not go back - it’s kind of the point of the spells, after all. Yeah, I’d say just cast strength spells to help you endure whatever this is until you’re ready to handle it. Or maybe the spells will help you be ready to deal with it sooner. Regardless…
Why am I so goddamn ugly?.?.? Why can't I look into the mirror and love who I see? Why can't my fave not be covered in acne scars and horrendous large freckles?? Why is my face constantly oily and red? Why am I so FUCKING ugly just please I don't care about looks really but why for gods sake am I a horrific ugly stupid person?
It’s one in the morning and I can’t deal with this right now…
Being “ugly” is such a subjective thing. (And it’s a man-made concept). So, if you don’t think you’re ugly then you’re not.
And I know, “easier said than done” but I don’t know…there really is like no such thing as “ugly” really if you think about it. Everyone is beautiful in a different way.
Ugh, I’m gonna wake up in a few hours and read this and be like “what the fuck was I thinking” oh well
Just be happy with who you are you beautiful rainbow unicorn
I might have to kick my semi-hiatus up a notch and be here a little bit less than I already am. Idk how long for exactly. I don’t really feel comfortable talking about why on the dash but those close to me can ask i guess. I’ll just say it’s to do with a family member and health, and I have a lot of noise in my head rn. I’m still lurking and totally down for plotting though cause it’s actually a nice distraction, so hmu for that. I might do the occasional draft or reblog a meme every so often or something. Idk. I’m not really sure how this is gonna go so you’ll have to bear with me.
I cleaned the kitchen after I stood up for two hours frying the chicken these people love so much…….and just came downstairs to milk jugs and juice bottles and boxes and wrappers everywhere…..I’m walking straight out of this house right now lmaoooooooo