just-nevermind

This was my first ever D&D campaign (4th edition), being played after school with one of my teachers as the DM (a lot more fun than it sounds.) The team was in the mountains, on their way to fight the final boss.

DM: You hear a low growling from behind you. You dont know what or where it is

Me (ranger): okay I’m gonna try to camouflage myself to blend in with the landscape.

DM: Wait- doesnt your character have intellegence of 2?

Me: …. 1…. why?

DM: Nevermind. Just roll stealth.

Me: *rolls a nat 20*

DM: Alright…. now roll intelligence.

Me: *nat 1* shit…

DM: *Trying not to laugh* Okay. You blend in flawlessly, not even your teammates can see you… but… You’ve done it so well, and youre so stupid that you now /believe/ that you’re a rock.

For the rest of the campaign, my character would only answer to “granite” or “sandstone”, believed she was immune to fire and was terrified of water because “I’m a rock! I’ll sink and drown!”

Penelope & Derek’s Matchmaking Service

Originally posted by theonewiththevows

Prompt: The reader and Reid both have a crush on the other person but are too scared of ruining their friendship to tell the other person. Penelope decided to give them a little push and drags Derek into her mischevious scheme.

A/N: This was an idea that popped into my head because I could definitely see Morgan and Garcia meddling in their coworkers love lives. I’m not opposed to making a part two of this, so let me know if that’s something that you would want. Also, anyone who can catch the subtle F.R.I.E.N.D.S. reference that is in here somewhere is my favorite person ever. Enjoy :)

Note: (Y/F/C) = your favorite candy

Warning: nothing

Word Count: 3k

Rating: PG


Penelope sighed in frustration as she watched you and Spencer alternate staring at each other. It was almost painful the way that neither of you actually caught the other doing so. It was like some form of fate caused you to look away a second before Spencer decided to look up. Derek noticed her standing in the doorway. “Hey Baby Girl,” he called and walked over to her. She muttered a “hello” before huffing and crossing her arms. “Whoa whoa whoa, what’s the matter gorgeous? Those processing systems in that big brain of yours hung up on something?”

“How does it not drive you crazy?” she mumbled and Morgan raised an eyebrow at her. 

“How does what not drive me crazy?”

“The two of them!” she whisper-shouted and spun around walking off toward her lair. Derek rolled his eyes, but obediently followed her down the hall. 

“Gonna need a little more information sweetness,” he told her, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Oh c’mon, do I need to spell it out for you? (Y/N) and Spencer. The way those two are pining after each other it’s both sickening and sweet at the same time. I’m not even a profiler and I can tell that they are head over heels. I mean I know (Y/N) is because she told me one night when I got her super drunk with the intent of forcing the information out of her, but that is beside the point,” Penelope explained as she pulled up the bullpen’s security video feed and maneuvered the cameras so they were facing you and Spencer’s desks. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m people watching.”

“Do you do this all the time?” Morgan asked standing behind her chair.

“Only when we don’t have a case or anything else to do,” Penelope defended, “You would not believe how boring it gets in here and you people never come visit me!” 

“But why- you know what nevermind. Just please tell me that you don’t mess with the cameras in my office.”

“My vision, you are the object of my affection but for the most part my attentions have been focussed on my current OTP as you never do anything interesting in your office.”

“Forgive me for actually doing work instead of making googly eyes at my coworkers.”

“So you have noticed!”

“Of course I’ve noticed. The whole team has noticed. The only ones in the dark about it are the two of them,” Derek chuckled. Penelope smiled as she watched the two of you. You had gone over to ask Spencer something, but he had been so focused on his work you’d startled him and he’d almost spilled his coffee all over himself. 

“They are so cute,” she sighed, “Derek I want my OTP to be together!”

“Somehow I don’t think we get a vote or have the power to make that happen,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. Penelope suddenly perked up. 

“But what if we did?”

“What are you talking about?” he asked as she spun her chair around. 

“What if there was a way that we could force Reid’s hand and make him admit something or ask her out?”

“Baby Girl, Reid has specifically told me that he doesn’t want me messing with this. You think I haven’t tried to get him to make a move?”

“He told you that, but he never told me,” she chirped, turning back toward her computer and started typing away. She pulled up a website for custom floral arrangements and started clicking on various options. 

“What are you doing?”

“Creating something that all of you men hate. Competition,” she replied, patting the side of his face. A few more minutes of meddling the order had been placed, ready to be delivered tomorrow morning. 

“Why do I get the feeling I’m going to be the one he blames for this?” Derek sighed shaking his head. 

“Ha, do not worry my vision. If all goes bad, we pretend like it never happened,” Penelope told him.


You walked into the bullpen the next morning smiling happily as you carried two cups of coffee. You glanced around looking for Spencer, before nonchalantly setting one of the cups down on his desk and arranged the mountain of sugar packets you’d also brought into an orderly pile. You quickly scurried back to your desk and sat down, trying to look casual as you waited for Spencer to arrive. “No coffee for the rest of us, I’m genuinely hurt,” Derek teased, as he sat down on your desk.

“Hey, the only order I remember is Spence’s because it’s the easiest thing ever: a large black coffee and then just bring the whole container of sugar to him,” you replied trying to casually look around him. 

“Uh huh,” Morgan muttered, clearly unconvinced. 

“Good morning,” Reid said as he walked over to his desk past the two of you. 

“Hi, Spencer,” you chirped, “I stopped for coffee this morning and brought you some.”

“Thank you so much, you would not believe the morning I’ve had. How much do I owe you?”

“Don’t worry about it,” you replied tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“Well, thank you. Did you know that coffee was banned three times in three different cultures: once in Mecca in the 16th century, once when Charles II in Europe banned the drink in an attempt to quiet an ongoing revolution, and once when Frederick the Great banned coffee in Germany in 1677 because he was concerned people were spending too much money on the drink,” he rambled. You smiled and shoved Morgan off of your desk, so you could actually see Spencer. 

“Well, I didn’t know that, but I do know that banning coffee should be a crime,” you giggled. Reid smiled back at you and opened his mouth to say something but suddenly went pale. “What’s-”

“I have a delivery for a Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” a man said cutting you off. 

“That would be me,” you replied, turning around. “What can..I..do..” you stuttered as you came face to face with a huge vase of lilies and red roses. 

“Sign here please,” the delivery man said, handing you a clipboard and setting the vase down on your desk. You scribbled your signature down on the form and handed it back to the man. “Have a nice day,” he said walking away. 

“Yeah, you too,” you muttered still too focussed on your flowers. 

“Oh my god, those are gorgeous,” JJ mentioned as she walked over to your desk. 

“Who are they from?” Emily asked, joining the two of you.

“I have no idea,” you replied, pulling the card off the side of the vase. 

“Read it,” JJ urged leaning in closer. None of you noticed that Spencer had unconsciously leaned closer to the group as well trying to listen. 

“Nothing can ever compare to your beauty, but these flowers are certainly a nice way to compliment it. I hope these make that lovely smile of yours appear on your face, signed your secret admirer,” you read out loud and closed the card. 

“Oooh, this is interesting,” Emily said nudging your shoulder. 

“Any idea who it could be?” JJ asked. 

“Not a clue,” you replied, sitting back down in your chair, “I’m not seeing anyone and no one has asked me out recently.”

“Anyone who you hope it is?” 

“Yeah, but considering he hasn’t shown the slightest sign of interest I’m pretty sure it isn’t him,” you mumbled. Unbeknownst to you, Spencer had wandered away into the break room fuming. This happened every time he’d finally work up the courage to ask you out on a date or flirt with you at all something would happen. Morgan would come interrupt,  Hotch would suddenly announce that you had a case, or in this case, some jerk would write you poetry and send you flowers. He downed the rest of the coffee that you had bought him and started making another cup. 

“You ok, Pretty Boy?” Derek asked watching Spencer stir the coffee quite angrily. 

“Just peachy,” Spencer growled. 

“Ya know, you could just ask her out. (Y/N) has no idea who sent her those flowers,” Derek casually mentioned. 

“Ha yeah right, I’m reasonably certain she’d rather have fancy flower man whoever he is,” he grumbled. 

“Fancy flower man? Really Reid, that’s the best you can come up with?” Derek asked trying not to laugh. 

“I have plenty of other vulgar things I could call him so don’t push it.”

“Hey, I’m not the one encroaching on your girl, but I would recommend you do something about it before you loose her to fancy flower man.”

“You think I should what?”

“Well, you’re her friend. I’m pretty sure you can find a way to top the giant array of flowers that he sent her.”

“I definitely could,” Spencer muttered, deep in thought, “I need to get to work but first I’m going to get Garcia to figure out who sent those to her.”

“Uh,” Derek stuttered, trying to come up with a way to divert him, “Why does it matter who it is? You should be more concerned with your plan to woo her, you can worry about who it was later.”

“You’re right. I’m going to take my lunch early. I need to go get a few things,” Spencer said and quickly rushed back to his desk to grab his wallet. Derek sighed in relief, happy that he’d managed to redirect Reid’s thought process, and made himself a cup of coffee. Your sudden presence in the break room caught his attention. “And where are you going lady of the hour?” he asked sipping his coffee.

“I’m grabbing another sugar for my coffee and then I’m going to get Garcia to find out who this admirer person is.” Derek did a spit take and started coughing. “Whoa, you ok?”

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. But maybe you should just let this play out? See if he reveals himself to you?”

“Derek, I just want to know who it is so I can tell him I’m not interested. There’s only one guy who’s attention I want and he seems to not really care.”

“Sweetness, Reid is a great guy just a little awkward and shy when it comes to ladies, you might try being a bit more obvious about it,” he teased. You furrowed your brow and slowly turned your head toward him. 

“How did you know I have a crush on Spencer?”

“I’m a profiler and I’m really good at my job.” Derek replied.

“Yeah sometimes I forget what we do for a living.”

“And the fact that Penelope can’t keep her mouth shut,” he muttered quietly to himself. Just not quiet enough.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing!”

“I’m going to kill her!” you growled and stormed off toward Penelope’s office. 

“No no no, wait!” Derek shouted as he chased after you. You tore the door open and walked in. 

“Hello my lovely, what can I do for you today?” Penelope chirped. You narrowed your eyes at her before flicking her on the side of the head. 

“OW!” she shrieked. “What was that for?” 

“I cannot believe you told Derek that I like Spencer. I told you that in confidence and you swore you wouldn’t tell another soul,” you fumed.

“Technically you told me that while you were drunk.”

“Same thing!”

“But you know I tell my chocolate thunder everything, so you should’ve expected this.”

“Ugh, my life is over,” you whined. “Spencer is still acting weird and now some stranger has sent me flowers. Can you make yourself useful and tell me who sent those at least?”

“I take offense to that comment!”

“Who told shared a secret that she swore she would take to the grave?”

“Fine,” she muttered, “but I already know who sent them. I looked it up earlier.”

“Then who is it?”

“It’s uh, Brian in payroll,” 

“Brian in payroll?”

“Mhm,” she mumbled, twisting a piece of hair around her finger.

“Uh huh, does Brian in payroll have a last name?” you asked crossing your arms.

“Yes, yes he definitely does.”

“Yeah? What it is then?”

“Well, I can tell you that it is most certainly not Morgan or Garcia.”

“Penelope,” you groaned. “Why would you do that?”

“I’m just trying to spice it up, you know force our dearest doctor’s hand.”

“Yes and in doing that you’ve managed to scare him. He took off fifteen minutes ago,” you grumbled flopping down in the chair beside her. 

“Aw, sweets it’s gonna be ok.”

“My life is over.”

“Hey look on the bright side, at least you got some bitchin flowers,” she said trying to lighten the mood. You lifted your head and glared at her.

“Not funny.” 

“(Y/N), you need to get back to your desk and take a look at this,” Derek said as he walked into Penelope’s office.

“And you! You knew she was going to do this and you didn’t stop her,” you growled and stalked over to him, poking his chest. 

“As upset as you are right now, I really think you should just go back to your desk. You might like what you find,” Derek replied pushing your hand away. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“If this is another part of this BS plan you two have going on, I’m going to kill you both,” you grumbled, stalking down the hallway. 

“What are you doing?” Penelope whispered at Derek, as they followed you. 

“Just watch,” he replied with a smug look on his face. You were expecting to see yet another bouquet of flowers that the two of them had sent to you, but you certainly weren’t expecting this. Your desk was scattered with various pieces of paper and rose petals. A large white teddy bear was sitting in your chair with a bouquet of gardenias nestled in its arms and a bag of (Y/F/C) tucked in beside it. You stood rooted in place out of surprise until Derek gave you a slight nudge. You walked forward and picked up one of the pieces of paper. You smiled as you recognized Spencer’s handwriting and started reading. It was a poem by Christina Rossetti, one of your favorites actually “I loved you first”. You had talked about this with Spencer months ago, when you both discovered your shared love of poetry. From the looks of it, he had managed to write down all of your favorite poems on these little notes (probably including a few of his own favorites) and put them all over your desk. You plucked the bouquet of gardenias out of the bear’s arms and smelled them. 

“Red roses traditionally symbolize love and passion while gardenias’ symbolize pure, secret love which more accurately displays how I feel about you,” Spencer mumbled from behind you. You immediately spun around and dropped the bouquet back in your chair, before throwing your arms around his neck and crashing your lips into his. He seemed to be stunned for a few seconds, before kissing you back and wrapping his arms around your waist. Hoots and hollers came from all around the office, mainly from Penelope and Emily. You separated a little breathlessly and rested your forehead against his. The pair of you were smiling from ear to ear. “Please tell me this isn’t a dream,” he muttered closing his eyes. 

“Nope,” you replied popping the “p”, “I’m real.”

“So I take it you like me too or else I think you’ve been sending some very mixed signals.” You chuckled and kissed him again. 

“Does that answer your question?” you asked, after you’d pulled back. 

“I think it does, and to think I had a whole speech planned out to make you at least go on one date with me,” he replied scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. You just shook your head and smiled at him.

“That’s so sweet, but how on earth did you have time to set this up? I couldn’t have been gone more than fifteen minutes,” you said, turning slightly to look at your desk,

“14 minutes and 23 seconds actually, but I’ve had the notes sitting in my bag for about a week now,” he told you. 

“Ok, that’s enough, back to work all of you,” Hotch said, commotion having finally drawn him out of his office. There was a collective “sorry” muttered from around the office, before Hotch turned his attention to the two of you. “Do we need to have a conversation or can I trust that this isn’t going to affect work?”

“I think we’re good,” you answered. 

“Good, now I need to call Dave and inform him that he owes me twenty bucks as do the two of you,” Hotch chuckled motioning JJ and Emily. The two women groaned slightly before reaching for their purses. 

“Wait, what?” Spencer asked raising an eyebrow, keeping his arms wrapped around your waist. 

“To make a long story short, we started a pool going for how long it would take the two of you to get together after three months of watching the two of you flirt. I had yesterday, Hotch had today, Rossi had tomorrow, and JJ had next Monday,” Emily explained as she walked up the stairs and handed the money to Hotch, who gladly pocketed it and went back in his office to presumably call Rossi who was off on vacation time. 

“I cannot believe this! How many people in this office are invloved in our love lives?” you cried in frustration, even though you were smiling. 

“Wait, who else is involved in our love life?” Spencer asked, looking down at you confused. 

“And that’s our cue to run chocolate thunder,” Penelope muttered, as she took off running dragging Derek along behind her. You shook your head and laughed, all irritation suddenly vanishing. 

“Wonder what that was about,” Reid thought out loud, as you unwound from his arms and moved all his gifts out of your chair. 

“Don’t worry about it, just remind me to tell Brian from payroll to send her some flowers,” you told him. He looked very confused but just shrugged and kissed your forehead. You grinned up at him, knowing that this was the start of one of the best times in your life. 

Yuri on Ice from Yakov’s perspective

Banquet:

 Yuri don’t let yourself get baited into a dance batt- I SAID DON’T GET BAITED INTO A DANCE BATTLE! GODDAMNIT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE MEETING SPONSERS!

Victor! Mila! Stop encouraging them! AND STOP TAKING PICTURES

Victor you’re not even drunk! STOP DANCING WITH THE SLOPPY DRUNK

Why is there a stripper pole in here? Why is this allowed to get out of hand? WHERE THE HELL ARE CHRIS AND THIS DRUNK’S COACHES?!?

Victor! DON’T LET DRUNKS HUMP YOU IN FRONT OF SPONSERS! NO, YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM BACK TO HIS ROOM! I DON’T CARE IF YOU THINK YOU’RE IN LOVE HE’S DRUNK AND YOU’RE AN IDIOT! I’LL TAKE HIM BACK TO HIS ROOM BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY MORE BAD DECISIONS.

- *sends Celestino a strongly worded email about keeping an eye on his pupils in the future the next morning*

Episode One

- Victor stop. Stop pining. You aren’t in love. No I don’t believe in love at first sight and I certainly don’t believe in love at first drunken humping. You’re right I’m not taking this seriously. He hasn’t contacted you because he was DRUNK OUT OF HIS MIND! Did you see how much booze he downed? It’s a wonder he didn’t die of alcohol poisoning. Just stfu and skate.

- Victor no. It’s not a message. Victor no! Don’t give up your career for an ill-advised booty call! UGH if I can’t stop you just make sure our Yuri doesn’t find out where you went.

Episode Two

- WHY ARE YOU IN JAPAN TOO YURI! I COULDN’T STOP VICTOR MAKING AN ILL-ADVISED BOOTY CALL BUT YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO BE ATTEMPTING THAT! YEAH SURE YOU’RE NOT THERE FOR THAT I’VE SEEN YOUR ROOM! …NO ONE HAS 30 POSTERS OF SOMEONE IN THEIR ROOM BECAUSE THEY ‘HATE THEM JUST SO MUCH’ YOU’RE FOOLING NO ONE KID!

Episode Three

- OMFG did you really give him a program about the night he got sloppy drunk and you turned into even a bigger moron? You’re going to put me into an early grave.

Episode Four

- MILA! STOP POKING THE SMOL ANGRY CHILD! HIS SCREECHING HURTS MY EARS!

- Wait, why the hell do I have to go live with my ex-wife and the angsty teen? I don’t want to have to listen to a list of my failures or a catalogue of all the ways Drunk Yuri is the worst especially as it tends to devolve into ‘stupid pig, how dare he be so good looking’.

Episode Five

- Victor stop trying to pretend this isn’t an elaborate booty call. This is not how coaching works.

Episode Six

- I have the living legend who gave it all up to be a pretend coach in order to get with a sloppy drunk, a sadist of a female skater who stirs up trouble on purpose, an angsty teen who can’t tell the difference between having a crush and hating someone and an emo skater who is far too old to be as emo as he is. Kill me now.

Episode Seven

- Maybe I was giving Victor a disservice. His student is actually doing quite well and maybe they are taking it seriously and HOLY FUCK NEVERMIND JUST KISS YOUR STUDENT IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD VICTOR YOU ASSHAT

Episode Eight

- Yuri has calmed down and I’m just going to ignore Victor. Yep that’ll work OMFG did you HAVE TO KISS HIS FUCKING SKATE?!? THIS IS WHY YOU WEREN’T ALLOWED TO TAKE HIM BACK TO THE HOTEL ROOM! YOU HAVE NO CHILL!

You want me to what? Be his coach? Well…only because I like Maccachin.

Episode Nine

- You’re alright actually, I hereby allow you the name Japanese Yuri instead of Drunk Yuri. You may be the only sane person I know surprisingly. I still am going to tell you off for fucking up though.

- ….I take it all back. WTF was up with all the hugging.

Episode Ten

- …They got engaged. Victor really is going to marry him….I’m not even surprised at this point. Fine. Keep him Japanese Yuri. He’s a pain in the ass anyway.

Episode Eleven

-  YES! I AM A PROUD DAD/COACH! HAPPIEST I’VE BEEN THIS WHOLE YEAR

Episode Twelve

- WTF? You’re coming back now? Idek what’s going on anymore.

- Well done Yuri! I’m so proud of you for winning gold!

- …They are doing a super romantic pairs skate because of course they are.

- Okay so Victor is coming back to Russia to train cool….wait what do you mean you’re still going to coach Japanese Yuri? WTF? HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK? WTF NO.

Post Episode Twelve

- STOP FLIRTING IN THE RINK! WHY GOD WHY AM I BEING PUNISHED?

- STOP GROPING HIM VICTOR THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT

-  YURI P STOP THROWING THINGS EVERY TIME THEY FLIRT

-  I HATE ALL OF MY CHILDREN SO MUCH.

- YOU’RE ALL THE REASON I HAVE NO HAIR

Pray for Yakov

Mike Knows What’s Up

Beverly: *is making coffee* Hey Mike, can you pass the sugar?

Mike: Sure *pushes Ben towards her*

*later at dinner*

Bill: Hey Mike, pass the s-salt.

Mike: *picks up Eddie*

Bill: *sighs* n-nevermind, just pa-pass the pepper.

Mike: *picks up Stan*

Bill: DA-DAMMIT MIKE, actually, I’ll- I’ll take him.

*later while watching a movie*

Eddie: *holding popcorn out to Mike* Hey Mike, can you put some of the cheesey stuff on this

Mike: I don’t think Richie can fit in there.

Bill: Mike you have a problem.

*at the same time*

Richie: I think I’ve been issued a challenge *proceeds to climb all over Eddie*

2

Music: Петр Налич “One solodo whiskey" 

____
We (and Natalie) have a few different Borderlands headcanons and this is one of them, let’s call it ‘Rhys adventures as a Presequel character’ :D There is a plot hidden behind these art-seria, but nevermind it. 
Just look at the pictures xD 

Draco's first car ride

Harry: So you just, no Draco, that-that strap. The seatbelt.

Draco: What about it?

Harry: I just said- nevermind. Pull the belt across your body and snap it in.

Draco: But I told you I wasn’t into that-

Harry: No! No, you have to buckle the seatbelt.

Draco: How?

Harry: The buckle! Snap it in the buckle!

Draco: But it’ll just fall out!

Harry: It won’t, just- I’ll do it.

[Harry reaches over to buckle Draco’s seatbelt]

Harry: There, now we can go-

Draco: I don’t like it. It’s uncomfortable! Do I have to wear it?

Harry: Yes, Draco-

Draco: But why?

Harry: The seatbelts protect you when the car crashes.

Draco: We’re going to crash?

Harry: No! It’s just in case something-

Draco: What kind of savage thinks this is a good idea?!

Things that my crazy-ass Philosophy Professor did today:

1.) At the start of the class there were only like 10 out of 35 kids there, so he walks in the class, looks at us for a while in silence. Then says “Ah, okay.” And walks out. 

EVERYONE WAS LIKE LMAO WHAT?!

Then he came back in like five minutes later and was like: “Had you guys there for a second didn’t I?! Yeah, it’s raining so I’m not gonna leave.”

2.) Some dude legit brought in four small cheeseburgers and freaking FIVE cartons of chocolate milk and was eating them the whole time. And halfway through the class while he’s lecturing, my Professor stops mid-sentence, walks up to the dude (who is sitting RIGHT next to me) and is staring in astonishment at the guy because in like thirty-minutes, that kid drank all the cartons of milk and no one noticed. My Professor just said “How? Okay, nevermind.” and continued with what he was saying before. 

3.) He kept looking at milk kid who finished the burgers and had everything on his desk, like the cartons were practically falling off but he didn’t throw them away. Until he finally stopped his lecture again, went to him, and grabbed all his garbage to throw it away for him. The kid looked embarrassed and was like “Nah man it’s fine, I’ll do it later.”

And the Professor without looking at him with all the garbage in his arms was like “Hm, where’s the garbage? The last time I saw it, it was besides the ‘No food and No Drinks Allowed’ sign. Hm weird.” AND EVERYONE OOOOOO’d . 

4.) He wanted us to answer this question that we talked about like only five minutes before. But everyone was tired and just didn’t really want to answer. But he thought that neither of us knew. So he got on the floor next to some girl’s desk, like on his knees and started slamming his fist on her desk as he fake cried loudly. “We just talked about thhHHHHIiiiSSSSss!!!”

5.) “So we’re now going to talk about an argument that people use when talking about God’s existence. It’s called the Big Bang Theory. And no I’m not talking about the mediocre television show.”

A soft whisper in the back: “Mediocre?”

Hold Me

Originally posted by alphabetbet

Raphael x Reader

Hold Me

Prompt: Could you write a Raph one where his s/o is in a random mood for major cuddles and he gives in to her cravings for affection and practically showers her in it with lots of fluff??? Thanks! 😄😄😄

You stared at your phone for a few long moments. You needed cuddles. And you needed them now. You picked up your phone and pulled up Raph’s contact and punched in a text.

Hey.

Hey.

Can you come over? Pretty, pretty please?

Yeah, why?

I’m looooonely. And booooored. And…I really need someone to cuddle with.

Do ya think I’m some sorta personal teddy bear, shorty?

Pleeeeeaaaaaase?

The guys are gonna tease me.

Then don’t tell them.

Raph?

U there?

Idk if you’re worth gettin’ teased over…

Raaaaaaaaph.

Hush. I’m comin’. Give me a minute.

Yesssssss.

Dork.

You love it.

I know. Yer lucky I care.

I know.

You waited for the big buff turtle in red to show up at your window. He wasn’t your boyfriend, despite the feelings you hoped he shared. But God, you wanted him to be your boyfriend. Personally, Raphael hadn’t asked you out for one reason: he though he wasn’t good enough for you. You were pretty, smart, funny, and worst of all…you were human. A pretty, smart, funny human girl could have any guy on the face of the earth. Why would you want a mutant reject that lived in the sewers?

But nonetheless, he showed up at your window a few minutes later, heart pounding and extremely nervous for whatever was going to come next. Sure, the two of you had had movie nights, but you had never cuddled. Ever. He wasn’t even sure why you had asked him to come here to satisfy your craving for touch.

Three taps on the window signaled his arrival. You slid the window up and helped him clamber inside. He looked down at you in your cute little Deadpool onesie. And though he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t deny that you looked good in red. Really good.

“Well, you look cozy.” He smirked. You smiled.

“Picked out a movie for us.”

“Oh yeah? Which one?”

“Fantastic Four.”

“Are ya kiddin’ me?”

“Nope.”

“Yer kiddin’ me. Didn’t that bomb?”

“Yeah, but…” you blushed at the thought that ran through your head. “Nevermind. Just settle in. I’ll make the popcorn. Wanted it to be fresh.”

He watched you run off to the kitchen while he got settled in your bed. It creaked under his weight. God, sometimes he forgot how heavy he was. How huge he was. And then there was you, this delicate little flower that he was so scared he would break.

Every time he thought about you, his heart did a backflip. The mere inkling of you was enough to drive him crazy. The thought of your tiny little hands in his, your tiny little feet and all of your adorable human toes. And then came the thoughts of how your skin would feel against his, how soft and silky it must be compared to his rough scales and callouses.

He exhaled a sigh, mentally scolding himself. There was no reason to tease himself with something he couldn’t have.

“Comfy?” You asked, setting the popcorn on the table beside your bed, which was pushed up against the wall. Raph was hunkered into your mound of pillows, half laying down, half propped up.

“Y-yeah. Sure am.” He wanted to punch himself for stuttering. You smirked a little and hopped into the bed beside him, transitioning to a comfy position laying on top of him, head pressed against his plastron. And there, thump-thumping in his chest was his heart. You smiled as you listened to it hammer, faster and faster with each second you were there with him. “Am I doin’ this right?”

“Doing what right?”

“You know…cuddlin’. Or whatever.” He paused, exhaling a somewhat embarrassed breath. “I ain’t exactly a pro.”

“You’re doing fine.” You giggled. “Just…here.” You pulled one of his muscular arms around your back and snuggled deeper into his plastron. “Perfect.”

“All right. Good.” He grabbed a handful of popcorn with his free hand and you started the movie.

***

“So which of ‘em’s yer favorite?” he asked as the credits rolled. Your heart hammered. Here was the moment. The moment you were hoping he would set up. And now you could finally take the opportunity laid out before you.

“The Thing.” You replied casually. He let out a little breath of surprise.

“Why’s that?”

“Because…” You blushed as deep as Raph’s mask. “I like my guys big and strong and a little rough around the edges.” You shrugged. “But I mean, where would I ever find a guy like that?”

“Yer sayin’…” It took him a few seconds to put the pieces together. “Me. Ya…ya like me.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“The reasons previously stated, and also: you might not admit it, but you, Raphael, are a huge softy and I love that.”

“I ain’t soft.”

“Look at us right now.”

“Point taken.”

“And your eyes are gorgeous.”

“Umm…”

“And you’re super buff and brave, and you’ve saved the world like twice and-”

“Why not Leo?” Raph’s words caused a sudden silence.

“What?”

“Leo’s all ‘uh those things. He could treat ya right.”

“Okay, but I don’t love Leo, Raph. I love you.”

“Y-you what?” Raph almost choked.

“I. Love. You.”

“I l-love you too.” He paused, mulling over the exchange that had just gone down. “So then are we…are ya my girlfriend?”

“Do you want me to be your girlfriend?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Then I think that answers that question, boyfriend.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek. And then it hit you. That was the first kiss he had ever received. Ever. The blush that spread across his cheeks only confirmed your theory. You were not going to let this moment pass without taking it one baby step further. You pressed a soft hand against his rough face and turned it to face you. His eyes darted from your lips back to your eyes and he gulped, green eyes wide as you leaned closer to him.

Raphael decided in a single moment that your lips were the softest things on earth. They were also the sweetest things he had ever tasted, freshly coated in cherry lip gloss. Bright and red and now they were his to kiss whenever he wanted. This night had taken an unexpected turn indeed. But he couldn’t complain. He would never complain, so long as he had you.

“So uh…now what?” He asked after a long pause.

“Well…we could pop in another movie and cuddle some more, or we could go back to the lair and brag to your brothers.” You suggested. Raph smirked, imagining the look on Leo’s dumb face when he came home with a girlfriend.

“We’re goin’ to the lair.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Writing Prompt Quotes

This is for everyone else to use. Tag me in your works, I would love to read them!


1. “When did I ever imply that I wanted you?”

2. “Let’s take a trip.”

3. “This place is for children.”

4. “Go home.”

5. “Stay away.”

6. “There’s nothing you could say to me that would ever make me stop.” 

7. “You’re scared.”

8. “I may be wrong, but…”

9. “I don’t bite.”

10. “Okay, darling.”

11. “Get me out of here.”

12. “You’ve been gone for so long.”

13. “Don’t fall asleep.”

14. “I adore you.”

15. “Do you love me?”

16. “You pop that gum one more time…”

17. “You’re such a fucking gemini.” (or any other horoscope sign you’d like)

18. “There’s a difference between being happy and being distracted.”

19. “You look just like… Nevermind.”

20. “I was angry and I took it out on you, which is totally unfair.”

21. “That was in the past.”

22. “Can you believe we did that?”

23. “I don’t like when you do that.”

24. “Get the hell out.”

25. “I never said that.”

26. “I don’t think we can do this anymore.”

27. “I told you not to say anything!”

28. “What’s wrong?”

29. “It meant nothing.”

30. “I miss this.”

31. “If I spend $4,250 on alcohol, it better kill me.”

32. “I want answers.”

33. “I don’t have anything to say.”

34. “If I gave you a chance, would you take it?”

35. “Look, look, look!”

36. “My sims get more action than I do.”

37. “You have to do it.”

38. “What are you laughing at?”

39. “Coraline is terrifying!”

40. “I heard you! Damn.”

41. “Do you think we were made for each other?”

42. “Can I text you?”

43. “Should I be worried?”

44. “Stop right there.”

45. “You’ve listened to it six times in a row.”

46. “Take a chance.”

47. “Disney or die!”

48. “Maybe you should move your hand.” 

49. “I only speak in iconic vine quotes.” 

50. “Forever and ever.”

51. “Your color is beautiful.”

52. “Your aura is irresistible.”

53. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

54. “You did that? While five months pregnant?”

55. “You’re only allowed to use the ‘F’ word three times a day.”

56. “We’re closer than we used to be.”

57. “I missed this.” 

58. “We have the house all to ourselves… I’ll get the board games!”

59. “I’m broke, but…”

60. “You’re so beautiful in the sun.”

{I had to do this because I haven’t seen anything that is more me like ever lmao} 

Hoseok; 

-immediately pulls the blankets off you as he hears your soft voice and feels your constant shifting only to see you trying open a candy- 

*presses his lips together*
“Are- Are you serious?”
*the two of you break out in laughter once he explains what he thought you were doing*
“Yah, I swear you’re something else.”  

Originally posted by park-jimizzle

Namjoon; 

-his eyes slowly open from all your moving; automatically his perverse mind assumes you were touching yourself- 

*slowly turning around to face you, he pulls the blankets away from you*
“A- A KitKat?” *smirks before breaking into a fit of laughter* 
“You would, y/n- you would.” 

Originally posted by rapnamu

Jin; 

-when he felt you constantly moving around he automatically thought you were having some fun alone- 

*he quickly yanked the blankets off the two of you, hoping to catch you only to see you struggling to open a candy bar*
“Really, baby?” 
*grabs it from you, opening it before handing it back to a giggly you*
“You better share, you got me all excited for no reason plus I opened it for you!” 

Originally posted by seokjyn

Jimin; 

-he’d already been extremely aroused beforehand but hearing you softly muttering to yourself as you shifted around; his arousal went into overdrive as he automatically assumed what perverse things you could be doing- 

“Baby.. what are you doing?” *doesn't even give you a chance to answer before climbing on top of you only to be greeted with the crunch of your candy*
“Candy? Oh my gosh-” *he suddenly breaks out into laughter while till straddling you* “I got turned on by you trying to open a freaking candy bar.”

Originally posted by myloveseokjin

Yoongi; 

-is awoke by you frequent movement, but instead of being pouty like usual; he immediately began to hope you were touching yourself- 

*pulling the blankets away from you, he was not greeted by the lovely sight of you playing with yourself but with you struggling to open a chocolate bar* 
“I- I should’ve known.” *giggles as he shakes his head* 
“I hope you plan on sharing princess, because I’ll have to punish you if you don’t.” 

Originally posted by icecream-suga

Jungkook; 

-as he scrolled through his phone, he began to feel you moving around and making soft grunting noises; his mind automatically was in the gutter- 

“Babygirl I need-” *his voice trailed off as he removed the blankets from you, only to be greeted with you unwrapping a candy bar* 
“Of course you would..” *shakes his head as he presses his lips against yours before stealing a bite* 

Originally posted by hi-and-love

Taehyung; 

-as he slowly woke up from his short sleep, he was immediately greeted with the sound of the sheets moving as you shift around; for some reason just hearing this made him slowly become aroused- 

*suddenly climbing on top of you as he pulled back the sheets, he saw nothing but you taking a bite of a chocolate bar*
“Babygirl, I thought you were-” *he chuckles as he runs his fingers through his hair before reaching for your snack* 
“Nevermind, just give me some, don’t be stingy.” 

Originally posted by taesverynofun

That Was Not Acting - Cody Christian imagine

Summary: Y/n is an actress, she stars as Theo’s beta on Teen Wolf and has been for the past 1 ½ years. Her character Rebecca is required to have a steamy make out session with Theo leading into other things. No one knows that both Y/n and Cody are actually in a serious relationship until now.

Warning: Steamy make out sesh,kinda fluff and suggested smut.

A/N: gif credit to their respected owners ps ignore the fact i used Scallison as a gif it was the closest to my imagination XD

Originally posted by asplittingoffrerard

MASTERLIST


The day started like any other I arrived on set at a quarter to 8 as I always did, as usual Shelley and Tyler were on set first. I parked my car,grabbed my phone and bag then made my way out locked the car and went on with my way.

“Hey Y/n,on time as usual” Tyler greeted “that’s my girl” Shelley embraced me sweetly “So whatcha wanna do till showtime?” I asked “I dunno how bout pull a prank?” Tyler smirked wickedly “yes totally” Shelley moved her hands like a wicked scientist “but who?” I wondered “well we’ve done Dylan,Sprayberry,Ryan,Victoria-” Tyler began but Shelley cut him off “Khylin,Michael, Ian,J.R,Melissa,Holland,Each other” I pondered “Cody..we haven’t done Cody” I smiled nervously “that’s so true” Tyler exclaimed “let’s get a move on it he gets here by before 9″ Shelley expressed.

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Ok… so, this dude and his girlfriend (I assume she’s his girlfriend) just came through on a moped (it wasn’t big enough to call it a bike) and he’s shirtless.

Now, my first thought is that he’s totally going to get booked if the police see him (you’re required to wear a jacket and gloves and closed in shoes where I live)

My second thought is this…

Imagine Derek Hale getting a motorbike, because really how can you not? Imagine him riding around Beacon Hills shirtless. All he’s wearing is tight black jeans, dark sneakers, and black leather fingerless gloves.

Imagine Scott and Stiles in the park or on the lacrosse field when Derek rides past and Stiles is like “Yea, I’d totally ride that.” It just sort of slips out and Scott is horrified. But Stiles just shrugs, “Can you really blame me?”

Of course the Sheriff hears about Derek, because he’s the sheriff and he knows everything. He also hears about Stiles’s little crush, because there is no way Stiles wouldn’t talk about how hot Derek is.

So one day after school, when there’s no lacrosse practise and Stiles and Scott have both avoided detention, they’re heading out to Stiles’s jeep when they see Derek. His bike is parked on the curb and he’s leaning against it causally, all gorgeous, bare chest and leather clad hands. Stiles would be entranced, if it wasn’t for the police cruiser parked right in front of Derek’s bike. And there’s Stiles’s dad and Stiles isn’t sure if he wants to interrupt them or run for cover.

But you know, this is Stiles so he goes with the first option and drags Scott along with him.

“Hey Dad! What seems to be the problem?” Stiles says when he reaches his Dad and Derek. The Sheriff is handing Derek a piece of paper, clearly a ticket and Stiles wants to groan.

“Stiles,” The Sheriff doesn’t even blink at Stiles’s sudden appearance. “I was just informing Mr Hale that his attire is inappropriate for operating a motorbike.” Oh, Stiles is so in trouble, the Sheriff turns back to Derek with a small smirk spreading across his face. It actually adds something to the whole, big bad scary cop thing the Sheriff has going on. The Sheriff turns back to Derek, the smirk becomes a glare in about a second. “It would be a shame if you got injured Mr Hale, I know Stiles worries.” Aaaannnd, there goes Stiles’s dignity, what little he had at least. And Derek’s looking at him with this adorable little frown, like he has no idea what the Sheriff could mean. Because it’s not like Stiles has saved Derek’s life before or seen him shirtless or held him up in a pool full of water (this is totally canon universe, except you know with Derek on a motorbike…) 

“Yea, thanks for that Dad.” Stiles takes the ticket from the Sheriff’s hand and folds it neatly, he’s tempted to tuck it into Derek’s pocket, but he’s pretty sure that wouldn’t help his current situation. So Stiles tucks it in his own pocket. “I’m sure Derek has learnt his lesson, I know he’s got some excellent leather jackets in his collection.” Derek is still staring at Stiles like he thinks Stiles is crazy. “Ok, Scott and I are going to go now. See you later Dad, bye Derek.” And then Stiles escapes, dragging Scott along with him.

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Private Fears in Public Places

Summary: Dan doesn’t feel sexual attraction very often and that’s okay.
Word Count: 2,258
Warnings: none
A/N: I wrote this fic because it’s my best friend, Elizajane’s ( @snowbunnylester ), birthday! She’s the person who helped me figure out my own asexuality and I just HAD to write this fic to show my appreciation! So happy birthday Elizajane! You are honestly the best person that I have ever met and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you. In only the short year that we’ve known each other, you’ve become my support and my rock, someone that I constantly seek approval from because your approval means the world to me. I don’t even think I’m able to write a story without you giving me ideas anymore! Thank you for being my friend, for being my platonic soulmate, for being my waifu. We have a connection like no one else and I’m eternally grateful to have you around. I love you elizajane, thanks for being you :’)

Listen to the Audiofic!
Read it on AO3!

-

“Can I talk to you about something?” Dan asked as Phil parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt. There had been something niggling in the back of his mind for the longest time, something that hadn’t originally bothered him until now. He needed to get it off his chest, needed to share his worries with someone else, needed to give himself some peace of mind.

Phil was his best friend and boyfriend of four years. He listened to Dan whenever he had issues and he always made sure that Dan was comfortable enough to share anything with him, whatever it may be. Dan had no doubt in his mind that Phil would be understanding of the situation. So why were his cheeks on fire and his heart pounding painfully hard?

Phil paused, turned to look at him. He had a questioning look in his blue eyes and it made Dan fidget under the intensity. He turned away so he could calm his racing heart. “Of course you can,” Phil promised, sitting back in his seat. “What’s on your mind?” 

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