just staring out into the distance

so-viele-musen  asked:

"It's cold. I got us identical sweaters. Please, put yours on." (a worried Keith, to Pidge)

Pidge was outside the Palace of the Castle, sitting on the ledge of the walk way and looking out at the Land. She sighed and had her legs to her face as she continued to stare out on the distance. Sure she heard Keith just now but at the same time, she didnt want to respond. She had too many things on her mind like her father and worrying about Zarkon.

“Ah…no thanks Keith…im not that cold. Im fine…” She finally said, sighing and looking down at her feet, closing her eyes softly while fixing her Glasses on her face.

@so-viele-musen

dear a,

you used to joke around when i didn’t eat. ‘what, do you have an eating disorder?’ you’d laugh whenever you saw me staring off into the distance instead of having lunch. ‘no, that’s silly. boys can’t have eating disorders.’

i guess you just didn’t know how much i struggled with my appearance and that was why you made all the comments about how my bones stuck out. i fucking knew, okay? there was a fucking reason i looked like that but you didn’t give enough shits to dig deeper than the surface and figure out what was actually wrong with me and how to fix it before it got worse. you could have. you could have even pretended to care. but you didn’t! you just sat in blissful ignorance as i stopped eating completely. i can go for days now without eating anything, a.

are you still proud of me for skipping breakfast and lunch and dinner?

i would give ANYTHING to be good enough and handsome enough and the right weight. i want to fucking die every single time i look in the mirror because i will never be good enough for you or anyone else because i’m too skinny or not skinny enough and it just really fucking hurts. too skinny. not skinny enough. too skinny. not skinny enough. too skinny. not skinny enough.

i have gotten so fucking close to suicide but i’m too much of a goddamn coward to actually do the deed. just another place i’ve failed you. i’ll have to kill myself a dozen times before i get it right.

i don’t know where you are now, but i hope you’re suffering. i hope you’re dead and buried so i can visit the cemetery just to spit on your grave. i hope you know just what you did to me. i’m so fucking isolated and i can’t do anything about it.

you jokingly asked me if i had an eating disorder. i didn’t back then, but i do now.

kill yourself already, you disgusting piece of absolute shit.

thanks,
the boy who ate like a bird (now, i don’t eat at all)

Friday, 2nd December

Time: 21:35

        -╳-             I just had this thing again, which has happened on and off since I was 17 where… I’ll just randomly stare for a few moments at nothing in particular; my vision will blur and I just don’t think about anything until I kind of suddenly realize what I’m doing and then make to make the full on conscious decision to pull my gaze away. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes its much harder to do and it takes like, so much effort to do anything about it. Afterwards… I just end up feeling really weird and really very distance, like… out of it.

Apparently, it’s a type of disassociation. Just what I need. I know like… getting names for certain things is a good thing, because it means you can prepare and do like, a damage reducing thing… learn to cope but… I dunno - I just feel really labelled. I have health Anxiety, too - I have shotty lymph nodes, which basically just means they never went down after infection and I’ve had them all checked several times and there is nothing wrong with them… but every now and then I become obsessed with them and convince myself I have lymphoma and honestly, it completely throws me off for weeks at a time. I will literally obsess and obsess until I make myself sleepless and vomit from anxiety. Any small thing, I automatically think the worst. I think it stems from my mom, because she would always panic when I got ill - well, she used to pretend to panic to get attention and reassurance from other people. I had flu once and she got me rushed into A&E because she was telling other people she thought I had meningitis.

Then when I actually had meningitis, she didn’t visit me once in the hospital.

Anyway - something else that has been bothering me is like… I don’t wanna call it an hallucination because that makes me sound like a right nutcase… but I keep looking up towards my bedroom door absolutely convinced someone just walked in… when they haven’t. And also, since I sit on my bed when I’m online, I keep thinking I see my cats walking past the bed through the corners of my eyes… but they’ll actually be on the other side of the house. And I dunno, it’s kind of concerning.

I mean, I’m a sodding mess tonight. I can’t sleep, I can’t settle properly…   I can’t concentrate - I’ve somehow managed to convince myself I have Lymphoma again, even though I know I don’t. Like, I know its all bollocks, I know its all not real… As far as the hallucination things go, and the illnesses I know I don’t have. Like, why are you doing this to me brain? You were more clever than that, once. 

Champagne

Requested by: anon


Prompt: “Could you please write an imagine where Tom tries to date with an older girl?”


Interest: Tom Holland

Originally posted by flyngdream

      It’s easy to say, Spider-Man Homecoming is instantly adored. Tom Holland is complimented by every person who sees him, and it isn’t until he’s stumbling his way through people to get out to the balcony from where the post-premiere party is being held does he get a chance to catch his breath.


That’s when he sees you, standing in the corner of the small balcony, holding a champagne flute between your fingers and staring at the Hollywood sign in the distance.


“Hi, sorry,” Tom begins to apologize. “I didn’t realize anyone was out here. I’ll just-”


“You’re fine,” you chuckle, glancing back at him. “You did good in the movie. You must be very proud.”


The fact that you don’t try to hug him or sound like he’d hung the stars in your sky instantly makes him curious, so he thanks you and moves closer, settling a few feet away from the end of your elbow as he leans against the balcony railing.


“What’d you think of it, truthfully?” he asks you, not looking at you.


“Hmm,” you hum, swirling the bubbling alcohol around in your glass. “I think they should be making a female arachnid’s movie instead of the third reboot attempt on Spider-Man, but opinions aside, I thought it was fantastic.”


Tom grins, and glances over at you. He admires the golden dress you’re wearing. It’s long and hugs your frame, but it isn’t sketchy or revealing like the other women’s dresses were. He could see certain parts of the fabric shimmer where the light from the party room shone on the dress, but saw no beads.


“Do you like Spider-Man?” he asks, and you chuckle slightly.


“I loved the comics growing up,” you tell him. “To this day, I always have a comic book within reach.”


You hesitate, looking down at your dress, then back at Tom. “Well, except for right now.”


Tom grins. “Who’s your favorite Spider-Man so far then?”


“Well, you all are different ages,” you consider, tipping your champagne glass to your lips and sipping at the drink, “but you each have different ways of portraying Peter, so I guess you all are, and were, good Spider-Mans.”


There’s a quiet moment, and then:


“Can I get you another drink?”


You glance over at Tom, raising an eyebrow. “Aren’t you twenty?”


He shrugs his shoulders. “It’s technically my party.”


“Only a portion,” you point out, and his lips twitch upwards as he lightheartedly throws his hands up, gesturing to ‘same thing.’


“How old are you anyways, to be drinking?” he asks, and then slaps his hand over his mouth, his eyes going wide as saucers.


You snort, laughing hard enough to bring anyone out onto the balcony to join you two, and shake your head. “Definitely not old enough to be offended by that.”


Tom’s ten shades of embarrassment, and you reach out, touching him on the shoulder, still laughing slightly. “You can come with me to get a drink,” you offer him, smiling, “and maybe I’ll tell you how old I am.”


Tom blushes a deeper scarlet, and steps side by side with you back into the party room. The actors and actresses, combined with a few members of the camera crew and the director, are all dancing around with the guests that had been invited to the viewing. You weave your way through them, Tom on your heels as you come up to the bar.


“Hey Jeffrey,” you greet the bar tender.


“Oh hello (Y/N),” the man replies, and Tom raises an eyebrow.


“Jeff is an old friend of mine,” you explain. “We grew up here just outside of LA.”


Tom nods his head, and watches as Jeff hands you a champagne flute, and then another after you lean up, and whisper something in his ear. Tom can tell he’s reluctant, but Jeff passes the alcohol filled glass to you without argument.


“Come on,” you say to Tom after you thank Jeff.


“You got two?” Tom asks, and once you two are back on the balcony, you hand the second flute to him.


“It’s your party,” you shrug, repeating his words.


Tom chuckles, and sniffs the drink. “Does it taste bad?”


You laugh, enchanting Tom further. “No, Tom. Just try it. Aren’t you supposed to be brave, Parker?”


The tease makes him wink at you, and he sips the champagne experimentally on the rim, before wrinkling his nose. “It tastes like watered down, bubbly wine.”


You roll your eyes, blithely, and hold your drink out to him to toast with.


“To the success on Homecoming,” you say as he clicks glasses with you.


“To Homecoming,” he says, and takes a bigger sip. “So, how old are you?”


You chuckle, and take another small drink before answering. “I’ll be twenty-five in six months.”


“I can work with that,” Tom says, and you raise an eyebrow.


“Excuse me?”


“I’m going to ask you twenty-four times to go on a date with me until you say yes,” Tom tells you, and you chuckle, setting the glass down on the balcony railing.


“You don’t have to ask me twenty-four times,” you reply, smiling. “Just as me once.”


A shy grin spreads across Tom’s face, and he leans forward against the rail before looking over at you.


“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

anonymous asked:

Several minutes ago, my crush was sitting across the room, staring at me and eavesdropping on my conversation I was having with my friend? He just sat there and listened to our conversation.

He seems to be in the “information gathering” phase. He would like to be able to speak to you. But he doesn’t know what you like to talk about, what level of language you use, how often and when you like to talk, etc. So he watches from a distance and tries to find out what he could possibly say to you. It may take a long time for him to find anything to say and even then he may not have the courage to ever speak to you. Other factors such as the presence of friends can prevent him from trying anything. 

If you want things to go faster, you could go up to him and talk about something that interests you and could have a link with him. You would be removing lots of pressure from him if you were to make the initial move :-)

I was tagged by @gentlesleaze, @flipperbrain, and @this-too-too-sullied-flesh to name 5 things that I like about my writing.

1. From my Christmas fic, Gifts, Large and Small.

She sighs and takes another sip before handing the flask back. “I feel like I should be more grateful.”

His fingers just brush over hers before he takes a pull of rum for himself. “You’ve spent most of your life learning how to be alone. I’d imagine it would take some time to overcome that.”

“You would know,” she says, not unkindly.

He nods, taking another drink before staring off into the distance. “Aye.”

2. The ending to From Ashes Rise.

When she finally pulls back she’s not even looking at him, her eyes trained on her hand and the pulse she feels beneath.

It turns out you don’t need to split a heart to share one.

3. From though we shall land no more, my favorite kiss I’ve ever written.

It’s like the tide coming in, how he works himself into her mouth, slowly opening and tasting before pulling back and coming in again, just a little deeper each time, a little wetter, his tongue curling around hers and rendering her pliant and slack in his arms.

4. This bit of dialogue from Right On Time.

Killian shrugged, not really sure how to articulate it. “I don’t know, I’m just… curious about her.” It sounded pathetic even to his ears.

“She’s a person, not an episode of CSI.”

“I bloody well know that.”

“Do you?”

Killian glared. “Yes.” Robin held up his hands in surrender, and he sighed again. “She’s got this sense of humor that comes through every now and again when she forgets to act cautious around me. She’s not the ice queen you seem to think she is.”

“What is she, then?”

“Someone who doesn’t mind making fun of me. Doesn’t mind laughing when I make a stupid joke. Exhausted and overworked, but doesn’t complain about it. Probably had a shit upbringing.”

Robin leaned back in his chair. “What makes you say that?”

Killian hesitated, reluctant to share too much. “Just an offhand comment she made.”

“CSI.”

Person,” Killian shot back.

5. From Touch, my post-UW spec fic writtin midway through 5A.

They hold hands across her breakfast table, him more interested in rubbing his thumb over her skin than picking at his food. She idly realizes that she’ll need more chairs once everything is back to normal, but it seems too far away to concern herself with. Normal. The word is ugly and foreign.

Tagging @caprelloidea, @startswithhope, @ripplestitchskein, @unfolded73fics, @killians-dimples, and anyone else who wants to play.

continued with @magicbold

          okay so MAYBE she is doing this on purpose. maybe because now that they are dating, she knows that scolding him, being ANGRY with him won’t be enough to make him stop, not when he feels cocky. because now he knows when she is just PRETENDING to be mad. now he knows that snape and her are no longer as close as they used to be- that he’s distancing himself from her, hanging out with people she can’t STAND. dangerous people. but still, she can’t fight the urge to look out for the boy she’s known since she was a little girl. plus, on a sidenote, she quite enjoys the effect she has on james potter. 

mhhh.” voice a soft hum, she obeys, fingers running through the MESS he calls hair, moving slightly to the left. “let’s go back inside, okay? i’m freezing, james. let’s go.” a quick glance at snape, a small frown. “please.” oh and she KNOWS she’s being unfair, but she gets on her tiptoes, lets her lips brush along his jaw as gentle as she can. “pretty please.”

please don’t confuse me with your devastating stare-downs

i’ll hold your mirror all you have to do is turn around

so you can see the face you make when you are giving away your soul

are you the only one who doesn’t already know

my friend if it’s alive, it will do anything

and if it’s strong enough believe it will go there

and if it’s full of love, know it is capable of

emptying itself out at any point at all

just know the height you reach is the distance you could fall

know your own heart well it’s the one who’s worth most of your time

know your own heart well you could be surprised by what you find

i used to think i was the only one

but i’ve learned quite a few things since then

and i guess no one ever really is the only one.


how dare you think you are the only one?

Imagine Bruce Wayne having a crush on you . ..

Originally posted by twofacedharveydent

Bruce stood there, staring after your retreating figure, a slight smile on his face.

He didn’t even notice Alfred who had walked up silently behind him form where he had been watching a few feet away.  For a minute the butler looked from his young charge to where you were still just visible in the distance.

It was only when you were finally out of sight that he cleared his throat, sublet reminding  bruce of his presence.

Yes, Alfred?” the boy asked

Fixing his waistcoat Alfred remarked “Well, it seems you’ve got a bit of a crush, master Bruce.”  

Startled, Bruce whirled on him “I don’t have a crush. What makes you think that?”

“Right.” Alfred said slightly sarcastically “well then, shall we go?”

“Yes. Lets.” Bruce agreed

As they walked over to the car Alfred suddenly commented “If you did happen to have a crush on the girl, I’d say that I approve.”

There was a moment of silence before Bruce asked “You do?” “Yes. But of course, we’ve dropped the subject.”

“Right.” Bruce agreed before getting into the car

Jose Diaries _1

I am beyond confused with what I feel. I pretend that I am okay with what I feel but idk already, the longer it gets the more I feel that the attraction I have for you gets stronger every time I spend more moments with you, the muffled silence, the stares and gazes that reaches down within the soul. I know its wrong and one way or another if I decide to stick it through adi I should distance myself away from you, not too far, but just to let the attraction fade. BUT WHY, WHY IS THAT WHEN I TRY TO STOP THIS AND SEE YOU JUST AS A COACH I FEEL VERY MUCH DRAWN TO YOU EVEN MORE. You confuse the shit out of me, you bother me. But then again when we talk, when you stare, when you smile, when you hug, when you share those very dreams of yours and goals, when you open up, when you remind me to stay on track and focus, when you ask me every time we meet and have a one on one session how things are, how invested you are with what I do, how proud you are every time someone asks you about me, how you push me to finish strong and live my life, how you share your everyday routines with me, how you argue with me when it comes to your beliefs, how you make me see things and realize how to handle life in the right way, I DON’T KNOW JOSE WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME. WHY. I am left here with questions, I am left with reasons why would you do such thing, this Saturday you happen to confuse me even more, turns out di lang ako at si Janine nakakapansin, kahit sila angela, this Saturday when we trained you told me about the tinder thing that you did and it was kinda funny in a way kasi ganun din ginagawa ko hahahahaha I would want to share my story but I stopped myself. I just laughed it off, anyway, we talked about my ojt, you asked me the things I am doing there and if I am happy, one thing that adi never does, you played the guitar and showed me your “dance moves”, you made me listen to your version of a Spanish ballad before I went home. when the guys arrived, we went to the reception area to chit chat with the team. AND YOU WERE SINGING. Then angela said suddenly “OH MY GOSH, Something’s Up!! May Something nanaman sayo, iba ang ngiti mo ngayon a” hindi ko alam kung parehas ba tayo ng nasesense or nararamdaman, pero ewan ko. You make me feel things that I thought I will never feel, and makes me unsure of what should I do. You asked me again this:

KELAN KA BA KASI GGRADUATE??

Then the run came, we were sitting a chair away from each other but when you open up a conversation your gaze always falls into my way. Hays.

Makes me wonder. Are you waiting? Is this something. Help me decipher because I don’t know what this is but damn, I’m so into you and I can’t stop. Its dangerous but hell, it feels right.

I had a genuine JD moment today at work (its a library)

My boss was on one of his friendly tirades, where he just talks excessively. And he was like: “I’m like a golden retriever here, I just want to help people.”

And at the phrase ‘golden retriever’ I just zoned out, stared into the middle distance for a while and blurted out suddenly “We need a library dog. A golden retriever that brings you books. In a basket.”

Every Whisper

Every whisper I can’t hear
speak easy ride
travel out the distance
afraid of the unknown
every whisper
blank stares in the dark
the man in black doesn’t show movement
i dont know if i can trust his judgement
every whisper
from valley to sea
ignorance is spoken
the question is why?

fall up  and up
the truth will come
he said false is the word

every whisper
that is gained by all
the society barricades you in
to be the same as others
but be different please
stand up and be heard
shout it out loud
you just dont lean
like every whisper

“Yeah, yeah. The hell do they know right?” He muttered to the Litten on his shoulder…who honestly paid no heed to her trainer’s gripes. “Damn mysterious bastards just tryin’t to stir the pot right?” He continued to ramble on until his Litten slapped her tail over his mouth, causing him to let out a muffled groan.

She stared out into the distance, two men dressed in some goofy get up and making weird gestures as they walk–

Wait. Ryu remembered them, those ‘Team Skull’ grunts from the docks right? His yellow eyes narrowed out of suspicion as they made their way into a fenced off area. In the middle of the night, trespassing huh?

This was what he needed, a time to let loose, he cracked his knuckled and smirked, “Oy oy Kishimo…let’s get some exercise…” He said coldly before quietly following the grunts.

@rosehairphantom

Cheeks as pink as her hair, she had faced her body away from him trying to hide her face. Her words had slipped out before he closed the last distance between them. Why? She had no idea. Fear maybe? Surprise? Her fingers fidgeted in her lap as she tried pulling herself together. Taking a deep breath, she bit her lip at his words. Her heart hurt at his apology, and it had her wanting to clutch her jacket. “D-Don’t be…It’s just…just…” Hanging her head and staring at her fingers, she closed her eyes. It’s just I want more than a kiss…she thought. And it scared her.

how much it must hurt her! he can not focus on her eyes now that she avoids itachi’s gaze, so carefully he observes lightning’s anatomy, movements, body-language. it all made sense, even to him, he is not stupid— only inexperienced. and a little naive mayhap. 

„i did not mean to make you uncomfortable, truly.“ he speaks the truth, and yet few words still stuck within his throat and make his tongue heavy. did she want a kiss? what does this mean? what does she want? and… what does itachi want, above all? „i…“ eyes fix the crackling wood-logs, his heart-beat picks up. like a war-drum it pounds, loud, excited. anxious. 

„we are friends.“ it is a statement, itachi wants to let her know his point of view— and desires her explanation.

anonymous asked:

Ahh imagine where that huge mouth has been

I haven’t figured out how to do gifs in mobile so just imagine I’ve used the gif of that lady in the green shirt staring off into the distance

anonymous asked:

(Work anon) I can't even go to the other side of the building without him looking at me. I was throwing boxes out and he walked past and just stared at me. We had a "huddle" of sorts and he kept looking at me. Today my boss and a few of us had a meeting, he walked upstairs to talk to his section manager and when he entered the room looked straight at me (his manager was at the other end of the table). He just creeps me out & my friends agree; I've wanted to lie & say I have a bf when I don't.

Ugh. I find it preposterous that girls these days have to say they have a bf in order for a guy to keep his distance. Seriously, I’ve heard way too many stories where a girl is sexually abused in a workplace - you really have to tell someone before it gets out of control

I used to hate when people would ask me how life’s been? My first thought would always be: fuck can’t we talk about how people prefer Juju on the beat over Knuck if You Buck? What is wrong with these people, how can you just let some kid rap over such a classic beat. It’s almost blasphemous. Anyways I would always give a half ass reply while staring off at the distance, as if the answer they want to hear is still out of reach. “Oh same old, same old” “it’s okay I guess” “Depressionnn.” But right now, I can say without a doubt, that I am happy as fuck. Really and truly.

vivilix  asked:

what do you do when you can't sleep? I have so much shit on my mind and can't keep myself distracted enough to fall asleep.

sometimes, i think about one of my favorite movies that i’ve seen enough times to remember every scene. and i play it out in my head from start to finish, but i’m usually asleep before i’m halfway into it.

most of the time though i can’t fall asleep because i’m too fucking scared so i just stare into the middle distance and cry until i wear myself out and everything blurs and i fall asleep whoops

Mindful Gazing

do you ever find yourself staring into the distance and it looks like you’re just thinking about nothing but actually your mind is in a whole different galaxy and you’re eyes do that blurry thing that feels like you’re traveling into a new universe and when you finally snap out of that illuminating fantasyland you’re just like “oh yeah, reality”

zetsumei-shuuto  asked:

Acts of affection meme, for Aizen; ❣ Staring deep into their eyes with adoration. ((rcttedpeach))

Acts of Affection


@rcttedpeach

Even when her eyes were so friendly. Even when her eyes seemed so lovely he couldn’t look at her in the same way. Eyes were so cold. So distanced. So lonely. The cold feeling in his body was reflected in his eyes. Staring at her like ice. No words came out of him, just turning away from her. Not wanting to let her see the lost feeling that was hidden in his eyes.