just watch the whole thing it is incredible

anonymous asked:

The LI's watching a drunken Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor talk endlessly to the other tavern-goers about how much they absolutely adore their lover; how wonderful and perfect they are, how incredibly blessed they are to have them. When a patron gets annoyed/bored and walks away, they just start all over with another patron.

Alistair: He’s extremely uncomfortable with the whole thing. He lets them run through two people before he drags them off to bed. “No, no. You’re embarrassing me! And you’re drunk. Just get some rest. It’s fine.”

Zevran: He’s sitting right next to the Warden the whole time, talking over them about how wonderful they are. He thinks it’s a great joke and tries to say increasingly outrageous things, hoping that the Warden will rise to the challenge, just to see the patrons’ faces.

Leliana: She thinks it’s sweet, and she’s just drunk enough to watch it all play out with a dreamy smile. For hours. Until the Warden passes out midsentence. That’s okay, though. It was lovely.

Morrigan: She claps her hand over the Warden’s mouth the moment it becomes clear that they have no intention of stopping. She’s not going to allow that. Random people in a tavern don’t deserve the Warden’s attention. And she really doesn’t want every random person in a tavern to know all that.

Fenris: He freezes up for a while, unable to figure out what to do as Hawke just babbles away to anyone who will listen about how amazing he is and how much they love him. When Hawke moves on to a fourth patron to slur at he finally manages to go over to them and get them into bed. “I love you, too, Hawke,” he says softly once they’re snoring away in bed. He wouldn’t admit it, but it was actually really nice to hear all that.

Isabela: She laughs and creates a stage out of a table and a couple of chairs and sits Hawke in the center of attention. “Yes, love, tell everyone how great I am!” She’s watching the whole thing with a grin. She loves it.

Anders: He’s pretty uncomfortable with it, but it takes him a little while to figure out what to do. In the end, Hawke rambles away to two people before he collects them and takes them home. “I love you, too, Hawke, but the tavern really isn’t the place for that.”

Merrill: She’s vibrating with both anxiety and happiness as Hawke tells anyone who will listen how much they love her. She bounces up and down in place, hands pressed to her mouth and eyes wide as she listens. Finally, she throws her arms around Hawke. “Oh, Hawke, I love you, too!” she tell them, her face buried in their shoulder. No one has ever cherished her the way Hawke does, and she loves it.

Cullen: The second he hears that the Inquisitor is in the Herald’s Rest talking about their relationship, he goes to collect them. He’s the Commander and they’re the Inquisitor, and that sort of behavior really should be allowed in public. His entire upper body is beet red when he collects his drunken lover, but he keeps his spine straight as he send them to bed.

Josephine: She’s blushing and lets it go on just a little longer than she really should just so she can hear it, then takes her lover to bed. With a glass of water right beside them, she tucks them in and kisses them goodnight, secretly pleased with what happened.

Cassandra: She smacks the Inquisitor to get them to stop, then takes them someplace quiet and private and lets them ramble about how much they love her. She wants to hear it, but she doesn’t want anyone else to hear it.

Iron Bull: He thinks it’s great fun! He keeps the Inquisitor’s cup full and lets them talk until they’re hoarse. The Chargers tease him mercilessly, but it’s all worth it!

Blackwall: “Now, my lady, that’s really improper,” he tries to say, but the Inquisitor just talks louder. After a while, he just scoops them up and sends them to bed. It’s sweet, but he’s not comfortable with it.

Sera: It’s great! Well, she knew it all already, but to hear Inky just keep talking is great! She’ll correct them sometimes or add things. And she makes sure the drinks keep coming!

Solas: He wasn’t in the tavern when it was happening, but hears the next morning that his vhenan was drunk and talking non-stop about how much they love him. He says nothing about it, not to anyone. When he sees the Inquisitor, hungover and sheepish, he kisses them lightly and makes a hangover cure, but otherwise doesn’t comment. He can’t deny, privately to himself, that he finds it oddly compelling.

Dorian: He’s right next to his amatus, and just drunk enough to let it go on without comment, his chest bowed out with pride. They laugh about it the next morning, both hungover with their limbs tangled together in the sheets.

anonymous asked:

Why are birds so amazing?

This is a tough question, and a very big question. Since it’s just about impossible to objectively explain why birds are amazing (they are, btw), maybe I can explain why birds amaze me and why they’re the focus of both my career and a significant portion of my recreational time.

1. Birds are dinosaurs that you can hold today.

Flashback to 2010, a time when little Redstart was thinking about applying to college. For a while I was convinced I would pursue animation and go be some awesome art director of nifty animated films starring animals. Then I realized that a) I wasn’t good enough or motivated enough to make it, and b) having art as a career would ruin creating art for me. So, then it was back to my other passion: paleontology.

I literally applied to college planning to be a geology/biology double major with a long-term career goal of being a professor of paleobiology. I doggedly pursued this game until my sophomore year of college, when I discovered birds.

Birds are dinosaurs. Just about everyone knows this now (thank goodness). The big, significant realization here is that you can study dinosaurs today. Think about the magnificent breadth and depth of scientific questions you can ask about an animal when it’s right in front of you, instead of turned into rock and shattered into a million fragments! Don’t get me wrong; paleontology is an awesome field. But instead of dedicating my life to recreating the world of millions of years ago, I decided to work on unraveling the mysteries of today’s dinosaurs.

2. Birds are Pokémon.

Stay with me, now! As a wee youth I was obsessed with Pokémon. Wait, I’m still obsessed with Pokémon. Well, it turns out that birding and bird banding are just about the closest thing you can get in real life to filling out the Pokédex.

Birds have the Goldilocks number of species, which makes them incredibly appealing to pursue, study, identify, and watch. Think about it! Mammals, while are certainly *~*~*charismatic*~*~*, are mostly nocturnal. There are also like 10 of them in the world (yes, that’s an undersell). Lame! Insects and other invertebrates are amazing, but there are too goddamn many for many laypeople to really get into (side note: my alternate field would probably be malacology because I love Mollusca). Fish have some good numbers and variety, but require getting into this whole aquatic sphere– a different world entirely and one that is not readily accessible to those of us who matured in NYC.

So there’s the numbers game and their incredible charisma at play here. Humans have trained their companion psittacids and cacatuids to speak, to understand; as intelligent social animals, we can feel a mysterious connection with birds in the same way that most humans feel an inherent connection with your typical charismatic megafauna, such as wolves and lions (*eyeroll*).

3. Birds are diverse.

Cassowaries are three-toed behemoths that can communicate in rumbling infrasound like elephants and kick a grown man to death. Woodcocks can see in 360 degrees without a single turn of the head. The booted racket-tail is a hummingbird about the size of a quarter with a tail three times its body length that goes torpid every night after its daily frenzy of foraging for nectar. The Chiroxiphia manakins coordinate sexual display in an incredible show of teamwork, after which only one male gets to mate. The bowerbirds build ornate structures that rival some human creations, and then dance and sing in front of them for a mate.

Albatross can maintain a pair bond for decades, and once their chicks fledge they may not touch solid ground for three years. Steller’s eiders from both North America and Russia winter together on the sea ice of the Bering Strait, where they fish for molluscs in the cold. Bar-headed geese fly over the Himalayas. Arctic terns breed as far north as the Arctic circle and winter all the way south in Antarctica, in the longest migration known to the animal kingdom. Martial eagles kill and eat small antelope by flying them up high and dropping them to the ground. Starlings and mimids can imitate hundreds of sounds. Numerous seabirds can go their entire life without a single drink of freshwater due to their advanced salt glands. 

…And so on. The breadth of the bird world is absolutely incredible. With roughly 10,000 species worldwide existing on every continent (something that cannot be boasted by many other taxonomic classes), birds have evolved to occupy so many amazing niches.

4. Birds matter.

Now, this isn’t to imply that other animals don’t matter! It is incredibly vital that we keep a steady stream of funding to all biological sciences,  but I must say that in my work with birds I have always felt that the research I’ve been doing plays its part in the greater scheme of things.

Birds are an easily seen indicator species; their high sensitivity can be informative about how the world at large is doing. As climate changes and anthropogenic disturbance increases, we can see bird populations shifting their range and phenology from year to year.

Since they are so prominent, birds have also been among the numerous species to face untimely extinction; take the story of the magnificent great auk, for example, which was rapidly hunted into oblivion due to its flightlessness and colonial breeding strategy. Carolina parakeet, passenger pigeon, Bachman’s warbler, ivory-billed woodpecker, Labrador duck: these are all species that used to be seen in North America that are nowhere to be found today. 

And it’s through some well-timed intervention spear-headed by biologists and conservationists that we have avoided the loss of other amazing bird species. The National Audubon Society keeps an egret in their logo, a nod to the birds that were almost destroyed in the hat trade. The Atlantic Puffin was completely extirpated from the Gulf of Maine until it was successfully reintroduced on Eastern Egg Rock. And remember the shitshow that was DDT? It was birds that let us know how much of a threat that pesticide was; brown pelicans, bald eagles, peregrine falcons, osprey, and more faced steep declines thanks to the substance.

These reasons just brush the surface of why birds are amazing– and yes, why I am constantly amazed by birds even though I look at them every day in my backyard or as part of my work. We haven’t even mentioned feathers, or vocalizationtheir incredible physiology, or the way they have inspired artists for centuries.

Getting into birds literally changed my life; it was a turning point for my career, for my mental health, and for my outlook on this incredible world that we live in. I want others to have similar realizations about the natural world! That’s why I run this blog, and that’s why I’ll never stop birding.

The Summer Fling (Chapter 6) - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “John F. Kennedy International Airport”

Relationship: Dylan O’Brien x Reader/OFC

Author’s Note: Welp, it’s 4:47am, and this will post at 10, my dedication to you people borders on lunacy. I hope you like it. I’m sorry if it’s not my best, I am tired. 

Summary: Dylan picks Y/n up from the airport after her trip to visit family for the Fourth of July and deepens their connection and trust.

Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven

Originally posted by ageofthesith

Dylan O'Brien:  You come home tomorrow morning….. :)

You:  omg… i do?!

Dylan O'Brien: haha shut up.

Dylan O'Brien : Um, did you have plans for tomorrow when you get home?

You:  i land at 6pm and i was just going to take the airtran from JFK to Jamaica and I was going to take the subway from there, why?

Dylan O'Brien: Do you have any interest in seeing Spiderman?

You:  tomorrow?

Dylan O'Brien:  Yeah, if I came out and picked you up from the airport, would you be in the mood to see the movie with me that night?

You:  you’re gonna drive all the way out from the Montauk to Brooklyn to get me from the airport to then see a two hour movie and then drive three hours back to the Hamptons and not fall asleep and crash and die….

Dylan O'Brien: Well when you put it that way… Yeah, I still want to see you.

Dylan O'Brien: And I want to see Spiderman :)

You: :)

You:  well, i want to see you, so if you really want to do all of that, then yea. I’ll see Spiderman with you tomorrow night.

Dylan O'Brien: i’ll see you at JFK at 6. text me when you land and send me your flight info?

You:  okay. goodnight, Dyl.

Dylan O'Brien: Sweet dreams, Y/n. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

Keep reading

after watching Neo Yokio I’m fully convinced that all those infamous tweets Jaden Smith made like “How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren’t Real” were jokes and the whole time he was just fucking with us.

anonymous asked:

do you know any good long slowburn fics?

Okay! Sorry this took me 3 years. 

I’ll start with my personal favourite that is literally the longest and the slowest of slow burns:

 Redemption Road Written by spnredemption600k+ words, Canon!verse -

Takes place right at the end of Season 6 when Cas becomes god and the author works from there making her own ending and story. This is such an incredible read and the author writes the whole thing like it’s a series of supernatural. Each chapter is basically you watching an episode of Supernatural. I’m not exaggerating when I say how so freaking in character everyone is. So damn in character. I’ve never read anything like it. And it’s beautiful. And so long. So very very long but satisfying. It’s a very slow-build for Dean and Cas in this. And while it is destiel, it’s not just about Dean and Cas. It’s about all of them. Sam, Cas, Bobby and Dean. It’s pretty much like watching supernatural with the bonus that Destiel becomes canon. Cannot emphasise how well-written it is. (Also if you’re interested, I have it on my Kindle as one giant mobi file, rather than downloading 42 chapters separately. So if you want the mobi file, just msg me with your e-mail address and i’ll send it to you :D)

Clipped and Unbound Written by garrisonbabe - 50k+ words,  Angels as Slaves,

Castiel is a slave widely regarded as unbreakable and unruly. Dean Winchester is a billionaire ending a five year long search to rescue him. They’ll both learn that peace can be the hardest thing in the world to find. 

(I have a huge thing for fics where Dean rescues Cas from horrible situations and this story really gives that and it’s such a wonderful slow-burn as you read through Cas’s recovery and Dean being so patient. I adore this fic.)

Innocent Looks Written by CassondraWinchester  - 100k+ words, 

Cas is a beleaguered public defender who gets the Winchesters as his next case and for the first time ever believes his clients are truly innocent. How could they not be? Dean, the older one So earnest and honest, so utterly protective of his younger brother, and Sam, so knowledgeable about the law and how it works, he helps Cas build their case. They win, of course, and Dean insists they all go out and celebrate.

Cas wakes up the next morning, bound and gagged in the backseat of the Impala as Dean looks over his shoulder and grins.“Morning Angel.”

The Sawdust Men Written by linoresearch - 100k+ words, historical AU, set in the 50′s  

Castiel Novak is an inmate at a labour camp. Life is brutal and no one ever gets out. Castiel’s only goal is to go unnoticed by the barbaric guards, and the violent inmates. Dean Winchester is a soldier without a purpose since the civil war ended. Dean accepts an assignment at a labour-camp, under the mentorship of Alistair, the Commander. From the start, Dean and Castiel are drawn to each other, and their relationship develops in a way that changes their lives. But Alistair has his own plans for Dean, and Castiel is a complication. When Alistair fails to separate them through threats and violence, he turns to manipulation; feeding Dean’s confusion about his feelings for Castiel, and goading him into a terrible act in order to break him. As Dean and Castiel try to fight back, they uncover secrets that are more far-reaching than they ever imagined. In such a dangerous world, can they ever be together? Can they even survive?

A dystopian, alternate-history (diverging after the Great Depression in 1933) AU, set in America in 1950.

Sleeper, Awake! Written by OverlordoftheBees - 300k+ words, Medieval AU - 

When their Father cast them from Heaven, his Angels lost themselves in their grief. In 1424, they haunted the skies of citadels, as winged mercenaries turned animal, seeking bloodshed for a slight they no longer remembered. From Ardus, the central city of the kingdom, groups of soldiers took to the Roads to provide crucial supplies and transport amongst citadels. When Castiel, the last remaining Angel equipped with any sense of humanity, happened upon an attack to a Slayer’s party on the Road, he rescued the only survivor - Dean Winchester - and spared him from certain death. Under starry skies and the shadowy treetops of Ardus’ forest, the pair breached the boundaries of their relative humanity and divinity, discerning first friendship and then more, until, driven by love, Castiel was imprisoned by the Empress Lilith for the crime of animalism.

When the door to the tomb is opened, Dean is returned to him. Only Dean no longer knows him, and the year is 2013.

To Raise A King Written by riseofthefallenone - 100k+ words, Medieval AU

This must be some kind of horrible joke at Castiel’s expense. Is he truly expected to protect a King? One who has been their enemy for as long as he can remember? He is much more suited to being a part of the army, or at the very least someone who helps to train the knights. That would be far more preferred than having to watch over the King. It means Castiel would get to keep fighting – and that’s the only way he knows to give meaning to his life.

A Turn of the Earth Written by mishcollin - 90k+ words, Canon Divergence

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run. Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

This is a serious must read. It’s absolutely beautiful.

Angel Rescue Written by squirrel_loves_wings - 60k+ Words, Au, Angels are Slaves

“This came down to the fundamentally different ways they saw the situation. Bobby didn’t think angels should be mistreated, but he didn’t see them as equals and didn’t particularly have a problem with angels being kept as slaves. Dean wanted angels to be free and equal to humans, period.”

In which Dean works in angel rescue and Castiel is newly rescued angel with a painful past.
_

I’m sorry I took forever to reply to this msg anon, but these are some good slow burns that you should definitely read!

rominatrix  asked:

Can you name or post things that make you a Martin Freeman fan? It can be just a list of things you like/love, photos, gifs, quotes, anything! Spreading some Martin love ♥

Awww, I love your Martin love festival asks for all fans :)

People are so eloquent and creative - I’m not but I try:

My Martin love bloomed first when I saw him as John Watson in Sherlock 

Originally posted by thistie

I fell in love with his voice and his accent when I started to watch Sherlock non dubbed version.

He’s such an incredible versatile actor - so different in every role. He’s  an exceptionally good actor. It’s like transformation, Martin is becoming a whole new person, personality, body language, everything.

Originally posted by lady-nymm

Originally posted by lovercumberlover

Originally posted by thebooklandrealm

Originally posted by sherlockstuff


I love that he’s serious about acting, about being a mod, about fashion, about music. I find him incredibly sexy. I love his humour.

While protecting his private life I feel like he’s sometimes opens his soul in interviews, letting us know his opinions and feelings, regardless what’s considered ‘good for promotion’ or his public image. He’s passionate.

He can be enthusiastic like a child talking about things he loves. He can be so funny, so intense, so serious. I love his swearing. His support for charity projects, for NHS workers, refugees.

Seeing him interact with fans <3

seeing him with children <3

choosing the roles he fucking wants to - big money stuff, non paid shorts, art films, comedy, cowardly weasels, sexy bad guys, hero, villain,…..

Originally posted by sherlockspoisonedcoffee

I love that he’s not the ‘typical Hollywood hero’. He’s never boring. He can be soft, loving, sassy, sharp, sarcastic, tender, loud - everything. He’s not perfect, he’s human. And I have the feeling sometimes he lets us get a glimpse at real Martin, when he chooses to.

Because of him, I try to be more aware about what I wear and have fun choosing clothes. Because of him I joined social media, made friends & met some irl, because of him, I went to London. Thank you for the friends I made, Martin :)

2

Monster - Sequence 23 - Thumbnails

Note : No spoiler - I went into this and added Yokai’s mask to cover up his identity if you haven’t seen the film.

These are my thumbnails before I boarded the sequence. Maybe one day I’ll try and post my boards.

We had an editorial meeting on this sequence and it originally didn’t have Baymax pursuing Yokai. It went right away to the team jumping in to fight off Baymax and Yokai escaping but John Lasseter challenged us to push it more and make Baymax feel like a serious and scary threat.

 This is one of those moments where it has to get done insanely quickly and a team comes together. We discussed it in editorial - development was done in layout and animation and then I jumped in and storyboarded the whole thing over a weekend based on the development. Layout reworked it and then Zach Parrish and his team did a beautiful job and brought it to life. Patrick Osborne had just finished Feast and he jumped in to help out animate too. What makes this sequence really AMAZING is the decision by Chris Williams, Don Hall, and composer Henry Jackman to drop out all the sound and let the score carry it. It’s incredible and as hard as it is for me to watch it’s one of the more impactful sequences in the film.

It’s an amazing and extremely troubling sequence because here’s our character that we’ve developed and love so much and in the blink of an eye he’s turned into a monster. It broke my heart boarding it which is why I knew it was right for the film. Hiro had violated not only Baymax’s protocol but my love for him as well. A very intense moment.

keep me waiting

pairing: jimin x reader
genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k
        → ill steal you back in 8 years, don’t worry. you like me, right?

(quick drabble because i’ve been feeling jimin these days)


”I just want to be able to give you more.” he sighed, sad smiles exchanged in the empty subway.

“You give me everything I want, Jimin.”

“No, no…” he shushed you. “I’m not trying to break up with you. I’ll come back. I’ll finish my business with Bangtan, I’ll ride the high out and then I’ll come back to you. Pinky promise.”

He stretched his pinky out towards you, your brows furrowing with dissatisfaction. It felt surreal hearing those words, considering you weren’t even his girlfriend. You remembered the 8 years that were left of his contract, a small gasp escaping your lips.

“You want me to wait for 8 years?”

His mouth pursed and he tried to hold back a chuckle, perhaps a little surprised at the realization himself. Eight years was a long time and no amount of hopefulness could deny it.

“No, don’t wait…” he smirked. “You can go on, date other people. I’ll come around and steal you back, that’s no issue.”

A shy pout erupted at your bottom lip; a juvenile, whiny gaze sent his way. You didn’t want to date other people, you didn’t want to wait eight years. You just wanted him and his stupid kisses. He pushed into your shoulders with a teasing glance, flicking his tongue at the roof of his mouth.

“You like me, right?”

You forced your hands into your sweater, blooming bouquets of various shades of red blossoming like a blanket on your cheeks. How could he ask you this, you liked him so much you could burst what the fuck Jimin hngnghngh

“Yeah.” you muttered, shy glances briefly stolen.

“You’re cute.”

If this was any other guy, perhaps it would’ve ended there. Perhaps he would’ve let you go, let you breathe a little. If he wasn’t entirely merciless, perhaps he would’ve let you date other people, perhaps he would’ve let you go home.

However, this was Park Jimin, your best friend and secret love of your life. He kept asking you out after that, kissing your forehead, carrying you around in his apartment.

Keep reading

Title: Late For the Date
Character: Jake Peralta
A/n: It was a lot harder than I thought to manage school and this because i can no longer procrastinate writing during the day and then just stay up till 2am to finish a story.

Previous Part: http://ofnifflersandkings.tumblr.com/post/164424008027/title-minor-set-back-character-jake-peralta


In retrospect, it might have been a bad idea to invite you over to Jake’s place for the date. The whole building was unpredictable and he legitimately had nothing planned.

Jake slumped down in his seat, hands dragging down his face as he tried to formulate an idea in his head.

That or which persona he would take up when he inevitably makes a total and complete fool of himself in front of you therefore causing him to flee the country and herd goats to avoid the shame.

It’s just that he was so attracted to you, that sometimes he didn’t even know what he was saying to you half the time. He hadn’t felt that way about anyone in what felt like forever. Jake wanted to do this date right, and not halfass it like he did with everything else.

“Hey, Cassanova,” Gina said as she gracefully plopped into the seat next to his desk. “Little bird told me you managed to snag a date with (Y/n).”

“Is this little bird Charles?”

Gina laughed while her and Charles exchanged a quick glance at each other. “Maybe, anways tell me all the details of what you have planned.”

Jake huffed. “Funny you mention that, cause I got nothing.”

“That’s surprising coming from you. You’re usually the top guy when it comes to setting up dates.”

“That’s just it though, all my previous dates have been total flops. And I really want this one to work out,” He said, casting her a hopeful glance. “Any ideas?”

“Oh, you want a full on thing? Then no, I cannot be of help to you. But, Amy and her are good friends, so trying asking her,” Gina said, standing up and stretching. “But I mean if things don’t work out, send her my way.”

Jake only nodded, too distracted by his thoughts but when he did his head shot up. “Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?!”

To say it was chaos in the Peralta apartment would be a drastic understatement for the situation at hand. He had been taking better care of the apartment, but now it felt like every little thing was out of place and had to be taken care of asap.

God, is this how Santiago felt all the time?

That poor woman.

Jake pulled up his sleeve to check the time and saw that be still had an hour left before you were gonna arrive.

After his small discussion with Amy, he was fairly certain that the date would be pretty good. He learned that grand or extravagant gestures tend to make you uncomfortable, and if he treated this like a more casual hang out then you would enjoy yourself a lot more.

That was Jake’s main goal for the evening, to make you comfortable around him so you both could enjoy yourselves.

With everything done all he had to do was sit and wait for you to show up.

Jake checked his watch for the fifth time in the span of a three minutes. His knees jolted up and down nervously as he continued to glance at the door of his apartment, barely listening to the silly sitcom he had playing on the television.

You were almost twenty minutes late, something very unusual since Amy and Captain Holt would boast about your punctuality to him, in hopes something might rub off on him.

Another ten minutes passed and Jake tried not to let the hurt settle in, there weren’t any messages from you and if it was something serious he knew you would have called.

Jake let out a deep sigh and went to turn off the television when there were a few frantic knocks at the door.

His whole heart jumped at the sound and he tried to not seem too eager as he went to open the door. Taking a small moment to clear his throat and smoothen out his hair, Jake finally opened it.

“I am so sorry!” You said with a large huff. “So much was happening, I got lost in a bit of my work and then my aunt called me just as I was about to leave and the woman can talk for ages.”

Jake couldn’t keep back the smile, he was just so happy to see you and that he could avoid the potential heartbreak over you standing him up.

“It’s totally cool,” Jake said, trying to seem nonchalant while his heart felt like it was ready to hop out of his chest and take off screaming. “I mean I don’t have any aunts but I can imagine they would be delightful ladies who would talk to me a ton too.”

Jake brought you inside his apartment and gave you a small tour of where everything was. “Bathroom’s on the second door to the left if ya need it and bedroom is the last door of the hall if you need a quiet place to have a mental breakdown like I do twice a day.”

Jake’s ears perked up whenever you laughed and he noticed you open up your bag to pull something out.

“First of all, I wanted to say thank you for being so sweet about me being unbearably late for our date,” You then took out a paper bag and held it out to him, Jake couldn’t help but smile at the brightly colored chalk that stained your hands. “Secondly, I got this for you because I felt really bad about it.”

Jake feigned a suspicious look as he opened the bag and looked inside. “It’s an everything bagel!” He said with a happy laugh as he unwrapped it. “Look! It even has beef jerky! Where did you get this at?”

You gave him a wink and tapped the side of your nose. “I know a guy, makes anything I ask him to really. And I remember you talking about wanting one so I thought it would make up for me.”

Jake’s whole system was being overflooded with pleasant affection for you that he couldn’t help but lean over and give you a big hug.

Though when he realized what he did he almost dropped the bagel. “I’m sorry, that was really awkward and I dunno how comfortable you are with that kind of stuff.”

You smiled at him and shook your head. “No it’s fine, I thought it was pretty cute.”

Jake set the food aside and helped you out of your coat. “Now the date can officially begin!”

You stiffled a laugh as you reached out to move Jake’s head back to it’s former position. “Jake Peralta, if you’re going to be my muse then you have to sit still.”

After watching a couple comedies and spending a good few of hours just talking and exchanging funny stories while the two of enjoyed each other’s company. Then you finally managed to convince Jake to let you draw him.

Trouble was, he kept making silly faces or intentionally moving poses to try and get a reaction out of you. “I’m your muse? I’m not an overly kinky man, but I must say, I do like the sound of that.”

You shot him a look and pushed on his shoulder so he’s stumble out of his weird position on the couch. “Hush up, you’re distracting me from my art.”

Jake placed his chin in his hand and watched your hands float around the sketchbook and how your eyes would quickly switch between his face and the page. “You’re incredibly attractive like this, did you know that?”

You smiled, still keeping your gaze on the paper. “Why Mr. Peralta, you are quite foward.”

Jake chuckled, tilting his head ever slightly. “It’s true, Gina was telling me about the whole attractive artist thing and I gotta say that I’m into it.”

“Guess that’s lucky for me then.” You said, smudging one part of his shirt while you debated what to do next, missing Jake’s content sigh while he watched you.

“Just a bit more,” You said, taking one last glance up at him and then tossing your pencil aside. “Done!”

Jake eagerly waited for you to flip the sketchbook over but when you didn’t he raised an eyebrow. “Well? Aren’t you gonna show me?”

“Should I?” You asked, placing it close to your chest so it was totally concealed. “I don’t think you’ve earned it.”

“Not fair! I am the best muse an artist could have!” He argued, trying to steal the book away from you.

“Lemme see!”

“Nah, I don’t feel like it.”

“(Y/n)!”

Jake started tickling your sides. “Show me! Let me gaze upon my beautiful face!” His laughter mixing with yours whenever you tried to swat him away.

“Fine! Fine!” You wheezed, pushing him off of you enough to plop the page onto his lap.

“Aw man,” Jake said as he held the picture close to him. “I look absolutely dreadful, is this what I look like all the time because I should really work on that.”

You nudged him. “Shut up, you’re not that bad.”

Jake wiggled his eyebrows. “(Y/n), are you trying to tell me that I’m pretty.”

“Would you mind if I was?”

Jake blushed, and cleared his throat. “N-Not at all.”

You leaned against him. “Well you’re pretty handsome, Peralta.”

Jake looked down at you and smiled. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

“Thank you, I try my best,” You said with a smile, leaning over to look at the clock on the microwave. “Oh wow, I think I should be heading home.” You announced, rolling off the coach and springing to your feet.

He stood up, handing you your sketchbook and helping you retrieve your things. “You’re leaving me so soon?” He asked once the two of you were at the door. “I didn’t get to turn my charm on.”

You smiled over your shoulder while putting your coat on. “I think you were charming enough, besides if I hang around you too much I’ll lose the allure.”

Jake leaned against the doorframe while you finished getting situated. “Well, you’re welcome at my place any time. I’d be happy to have you over again.”

“I might take you up on that offer, Detective Peralta,” You said, smiling whenever he chuckled. “Anyways, thank you for a very fun evening.”

“It was fun for me too. Definitely ranks pretty high on my best date list.” Jake said, your gazes meeting briefly as he decided weither or not to kiss your goodnight.

“I’ll see you later then.” You said before he could make up his mind.

“Goodnight, let me know when you get home safe.” Jake told you, awkwardly shaking your hand.

You smiled and nodded before turning around for breif second, then quickly facing him again, lightly tugging on the front of his shirt to give him a small kiss on his cheek.

“Will do.” You said, letting him go and walking down the hallway.

Jake leaned over the doorframe to make sure you were gone before fist bumping the air and closing the door.

Definitely the top of his best date list.

storytime

so i was at the grocery store wearing my ShaoxZeke tshirt and I grabbed some juice and garlic bread (garlic bread ftw am i right) and headed to the checkout where there was this woman in front of me buying various items. 

She glanced at me and notices my tshirt and noticeably scowled. She glared at me for a second and moved a few steps away from me. I was humored, knowing the type of person I was dealing with. I said boldly “Excuse me, is something wrong?” “Yeah, bitch!” she yelled. The cashier stopped scanning at stared at us. A few people from other aisles started staring too. “Shao doesn’t deserve zeke he’s a jerk who only cares about himself! Mylene is the only one for him” A small crowd had gathered around us. “Sorry you feel that way.“ I said and shrugged, just angering her even more. “You’re disgusting!” she said. At this point the manager came out and was watching closely.

Then, the most epic thing happened yall. The cashier who had been watching this whole time KNOCKED ALL OF HER PURCHASES ON THE FLOOR, items rolling out of the bags. “You can leave.” she said, throwing her credit card at her. “Shao x Zeke is an incredible love story and I won’t tolerate slander” I gasped, amazed. 

The MylenexZeke shipper just huffed and walked out, and everyone clapped and cheered including the manager. I got free groceries for life.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Show Recap – 04/03/17

I’ve seen the show a few times now, so at this point I’m fairly picky about what I want to see. I have favourite versions of scenes and lines. I have favourite actors and actresses in the various roles. While every performance is always amazing, I have two main criteria for what constitutes a Good Show, as in, an above average performance of the play. 1. I want it to make me feel something. I want someone to make me cry, or flail, or laugh uproariously, or have to bury my face in my scarf to contain all my emotions. 2. I want to gain new insight into the characters, or the story, or the show itself. During this particular performance, both criteria were absolutely and completely met. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Sorry to bug you but are you ever going to draw more of Bakushima children? (im on mobile so I cant see your FAQ so sorry if you've been asked this before

Uh, okay I’ve been asked this question a few dozens times at this point and between all the times I’ve answered it and all the unanswered ones in my inbox still I guess it’s time to explain whaddup with those kids, so

The short answer is: I dunno, maybe, if I ever feel inspired again to! I do like the kids, after all

The long answer is: if you were to open the original post about those kids, scroll down to the end of it and look at the tags, you’d find this specific one

that would be because right after drawing those five pics and posting them, I had no intention whatsoever of posting more of them. Honesntly mostly cause I deal with kids an average amount of time that goes from never ever to laying on my bed with an headache wishing the kid downstairs would shut up already, I never interact with them, I never even look at them, I got no siblings that much younger than me nor cousins or nephews or anything similar I see regularly, I don’t watch shows/read stuff with families with kids or with young kids as protagonists - which means that the amount of inspiration I can get from my daily life as far as this AU goes is a pretty round zero. I have to sit down and actually think about this AU with the intention of, later on, drawing for it, and when my daily life already gives me so much inspiration for all the other things I wanna draw I never find the time nor the interest to do that

Another reason why I didn’t think I would find the interest in drawing for that AU again is the same as why initially I wanted to pick just one of the two kids - I… knew… without even having to post them yet… that I’d get an incredible amount of “lol it’s shark boy and lava girl” comments… and to be fair once they did start getting around I wasn’t even all that bothered by them, but that was literally only because I didn’t mean to draw more of it. It was like, okay yall are missing the whole point of Taiyou’s quirk, are also complitely ignoring the fact that both kids are directly inspired by Bakugou and Kirishima themselves who are pretty similar to shark boy and lava girl so that was unavoidable for me, are pretty much telling me the kids are unoriginal and that you could just watch the movie and it’d be the same, and all these things would be incredibly bothering if I meant to draw more because who even wants to draw for something people don’t even consider its own original idea? But, as I’m sure I’ve said already in another ask, I didn’t really care cause the kids were supposed to be a once-only thing. Doesn’t change that getting that sort of comment over and over again didn’t really make me wish to draw more, though

That said, I wasn’t expecting the kids to be as well recieved as they were??? You all really do like them! Way more than I thought you would!!! And that makes me incredibly happy and makes me love the kids even more than I originally did, and every new kind adorable comment I get about them does make me wish to play more with the idea! So the original “uhhhh I don’t think so, no” turned into a “maybe! I do wish to!” cause a lot of people have been super kind and loving to the two kids, and that’s the best thing a creator can wish for their characters, really!!! 

Currently I’m still missing specific inspiration though. So. Back to the short answer. I dunno, maybe!

anonymous asked:

Prompt idea; I didn't much care for what they did to Alex's Character in Monday's episode. So I was wondering if you could fix it. Like when Maggie asks Alex what's wrong, Alex actually tells her it's Kara's Birthday and Maggie's like 'then why are we going to a concert we should be celebrating your sisters birthday??'. And instead of pushing Kara towards Mon-el maybe Sanvers gives her a push towards Lena?

Hope this is what you’re looking for. P.s. sorry for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes: 

Maggie’s said it before, and she’ll say it again, she knows Alex Danvers. 

It’s only been a few weeks and she already knows Alex’s state of mind with just one look, especially when she doesn’t pay attention because an Alex Danvers that is distracted is a distraught Alex Danvers, there’s not an instance that Alex isn’t one hundred percent focused on something, whether it’s something as trivial as a crossword puzzle or taking down an alien foe. So, when she’s distracted, Maggie knows that something is wrong, that something is eating at her. 

The brunette places her beer on the kitchen counter and narrows her eyes at the agent who was lost in deep thought, wringing her hands a little while staring at a fixed point on the ground. “Earth to Agent Danvers,” Maggie prompts playfully to get her girlfriend’s attention. Alex jumps a little, her eyes unfocused, before she shakes her head and brushes off the strange distraction as though it never even existed, as though Maggie hadn’t just caught her looking longingly at her hard wood floors and, trust her, those floors are nothing to be desired. “What’s up with you?” Maggie asks. She’s not being harsh in her questioning, in fact, she turns her head to the side and tilts one side of her lips up in a curious smile. 

“What? Me?” Alex asks, standing up straight and crossing her arms across her chest. “I’m fine, there’s nothing wrong.“ 

“Alex,” Maggie’s voice is full of disbelief and she comes around the counter so that she is face to face with Alex instead of having a counter between them. “come on.” The detective raises an eyebrow, telling Alex that she wasn’t buying it, not even for a second. 

“It’s Kara,” Alex admits, she can’t deny it when Maggie asks her, even if Alex is pretty new to the whole feelings thing, besides, it’s Kara and Alex kind of feels incredibly guilty for the way she just blew off her sister. “I think I hurt her feelings.” Alex confesses. 

Maggie nods her head a little and opens her mouth, not quite catching how or why Alex had hurt her sister’s feelings but understanding that the two of them had an inexplicable bond that, as an only child, she’d never really experienced before. “Okay…?” Maggie says uncertainly, watching as Alex played with her hands again and turned around before turning back. It was also rare that Alex Danvers got so torn up and wound up like this - again, the Kara effect. 

The agent pauses and contemplates for a moment. She’s not entirely sure if she should share this information with Maggie, it’s a tradition only her and Kara have, even Jeremiah and Eliza hadn’t really celebrated the tradition with them, it was a sister event, it wasn’t actually Kara’s birthday but it was the day that she arrived on earth and the day they officially became sisters, but Maggie knew that Kara was Supergirl, that she was not of this planet, so what harm could telling her about this really do? 

“It’s kind of… Well…” Alex grumbles in frustration, she’s not sure how to explain the day to anyone, she’s never had to before since no one, other than her inner most circle of people, her family, know of it already. “Thirteen years ago my sister came to earth,” Alex says and Maggie leans against the counter, her full attention trained on Alex and what she was saying. “she became my sister,” Alex states. “and every year we have what we call ‘Earth Birthday’, it’s kind of Kara’s birthday, and it’s kind of not… it’s hard to explain, actually, Kara’s actual age is kind of complicated, her biology-" 

"Stick on topic Danvers.” Maggie interrupts with amusement because of cause her bio-engineer girlfriend gets excited and intrigued mid-explanation by alien DNA. 

“Right,” Alex says, she had been pacing during her explanation and comes to a halt in front of Maggie, looking her in the eyes, her own eyes sparkling a little. “every year we celebrate, just the two us, together, every year. It’s a tradition I guess and… I, um, well, I kind of…” Alex sighs and rubs her face with her hands. “I kind of blew her off… to spend the day with you.” For a minute, Maggie is stunned, clearly this day was very important, not just to Alex but to Kara, every year they celebrated it, and Alex had just cancelled? For Maggie? The detective could not have that. 

She crosses her arms across her chest and examines Alex for a moment, it was obvious that she was wracked with guilt, that she knew that this wasn’t exactly the right thing to do, that maybe she’d made a mistake, Maggie can handle rejection, hell, she wouldn’t have even considered Alex turning her down for the concert as a rejection, not when it’s her alien sister’s birthday. Sometimes, Maggie honestly didn’t get Alex’s decision making. 

“Go, be with your sister.” Maggie says and Alex, who had taken an interest back into the hard wood floors, head snaps up in surprise and Maggie smiles slightly, her lopsided smile that Alex loved. “Come on Danvers, why are we going to a concert? We should be celebrating your sister’s birthday,” Maggie says, stepping forward so she was only a few inches away from her girlfriend. “look, I appreciate that you want to spend time with me, actually, I love that you want to spend time with me,” Maggie was attempting to be honest. “but family is important too, and you shouldn’t have to sacrifice one relationship for the other. So,” Maggie smiles. “I’ll talk to my friend who’s working security, maybe I can get an extra ticket and Kara can come along. Of course only after you two have spent some time together." 

Alex pauses for a long moment, so long that Maggie thinks that maybe she was just never going to reply, before she breaks out into a huge smile and wraps her girlfriend up into a tight hug, planting a loving kiss to her cheek. She pulls back and places a quick peck on her lips and Maggie starts smiling like a brainless starstruck idiot as Alex spurs into motion - ah, the Alex effect. "You are seriously the best,” Alex says. “wait, do we have any cupcakes?”

//

A part of Alex thought that Kara wouldn’t open her apartment door and she’d be left standing there with a cupcake until the candle dwindled down to nothing and her human legs gave out to exhaustion but, of course, Kara does answer the door. 

The door opens slowly and Kara appears in the doorway with a semi-smile, it’s almost the familiar Kara smile except Alex knows her sister all too well, and she knows when something is bothering her, and something is bothering her - beyond just Alex that was. 

“Happy earth birthday, please don’t send me away,” Alex gives her little sister a wide, hopeful, grin and the blonde laughs, scuffing her sock clad foot against the floor. “I come in peace, look, I even brought a cupcake, it has a K.” Kara shakes her head and the smile that had been tempting her lips before tugs even more at the corners. 

“Is this your apology?” Kara questions playfully and Alex softens a little, feeling that guilt again. 

“I am,” Alex says and Kara leans against her door. “sorry that is.” Alex clarifies and Kara stares at her for a moment, her eyes drifting all over Alex’s face and, admittedly, lingering longingly on the cupcake. 

“You are forgiven,” Kara says carefully, stops eyeing the cupcake, and Alex almost rolls her eyes at Kara’s laser like focus on the cupcake - of course Kara was distracted by the food. 

“Go on, blow it out,” Alex encourages and the blonde’s face lights up. “gently!” Alex adds, remembering all the past birthdays when Kara had been distracted and forgot she sometimes had superbreath - they hadn’t exactly been the best experiences and Alex wasn’t keen to relive them either. 

Kara chuckles a little and leans forward to deliver a gentle blow that takes the candle out easily. Alex hands the cupcake over and Kara takes it with her broad smile and practically skips into the apartment leaving Alex to close the door and follow. 

The blonde grabs a plate from her cabinet and then some cutlery to split the cupcake in half for them to share. “So what changed your mind?” Kara asks curiously, sucking on her thumb afterwards to remove some icing that had gotten onto it. 

“Honestly,” Alex says, taking a seat across from her little sister. “Maggie.” Kara looks up at that and raises an eyebrow. 

“Really?” Kara asks dropping her knife in favour for a fork to eat the cupcake with. 

“She reminded me of what’s important,” Alex admits and Kara glances down at that, smiling softly at the confession. “and I mean, not just that but, you’re my sister, I’ve always got time for you Kara." 

"It hurt my feelings,” Kara admits, cupcake momentarily forgotten. “it’s just, with everything that’s happening with James and Winn and then Mon-El,” Kara makes a waving gesture with her hand, as though she was erasing all the bad out of the air, before she leans forward on the counter with a deep sigh. “I’ve been feeling, I don’t know, alone I guess.” Alex stays silent at Kara’s confession, knowing that, if she interrupted now, Kara wouldn’t explain all the way, and Alex wasn’t going to hand out advice on half baked truths - that never worked out well. "I just wanted to forget about all that and just spend time with my sister, you know, at least I still have you, and then when you blew me off I just… hurt my feelings.“ Kara shrugs half-heartedly and Alex’s eyes soften in response. 

"Kara,” Alex says, reaching across the table with her palm up and open, Kara stares at it for a moment, before she places her hand against it and Alex squeezes it softly. “I’m here. Always.” Kara nods at that and Alex withdraws her hand having comforted her sister. 

“Maggie’s new you know, I’ve never felt like this about anyone, never been this crazy,” Kara smiles at that, despite everything, she really was happy that Alex was happy. “it’s always just been me and you, you know, no one was really worth my time before Maggie, just you.” Kara chuckles a little and takes a bite from the cupcake and Alex grabs the other fork for herself. 

“So I’m trying to find a balance… because you’re really important to me, super important to me,” Kara snorts a little at that and Alex smiles in response. “I’m not going anywhere Kara, you know that right?” Alex nudges her foot against Kara’s leg, she’s honestly not even sure if Kara feels small nudges like that but she’s pretty sure she does. “You are not alone." Kara smiles so brightly that Alex wonders if maybe she absorbed too much of the suns energy and, before she can really process the moment, Kara is wrapping her in a tight hug, hard enough to make Alex a little breathless, but gentle enough that she wasn’t breaking any ribs. 

Alex chuckles at her sister’s enthusiasm but pulls back slowly from the hug, examining her carefully with a skeptical look. "What?” Kara asks, looking down at herself, wondering if she had cupcake around her mouth or something. 

“There’s something else bothering you,” Alex states, it’s not even a question, she knows Kara like she was herself. 

“No, nothing- nothing’s wrong.” Kara says in a way that tells Alex that there most certainly is something wrong. 

“Oh really? Because I’m thinking there’s a certain someone who you’ve been denying your feelings for.” Alex says as Kara sheepishly steps back to stand behind the counter. 

“Who? Mon-El? I already told him that I don’t like him like that-" 

"God no, that’s not who I mean.” Alex narrows her eyes and Kara has a sudden interest in the cupcake, playing with it with her fork. 

“James? I told you that-" 

"Not James either,” Alex interrupts again, crossing her arms across her chest. “I’m thinking dark hair, green eyes, owner of a huge company…” Kara shakes her head stubbornly, playing dumb. “Her name rhymes with Shema hoother…” That might just be the most ridiculous sentence that Alex has ever said in her life and still Kara just plays dumb, shrugging her shoulders to exaggerate that she wasn’t getting what Alex was saying. 

“Oh my- Lena Luthor! You know who I’m talking about.” Kara purses her lips at that before biting it and shrinking back slightly. 

Lena? Lena Luthor? Luthor? I don’t… pfftwhat? No, I don’t have feelings for Lena.” Kara says, suddenly very flustered, and that was severely unconvincing to Alex. 

Alex raises her eyebrows in disbelief and holds Kara’s gaze until she finally gives up the playing dumb act. “Yeah okay, I do,” Kara sighs and begins playing with the crumbs of the cupcake. “it’s just- Rao! I don’t even know Alex, it’s like she can see right through me, like, she smiles at me and I sometimes forget that I can fly, she makes me feel powerless, but in a vulnerable I’m falling kind of way, but there’s this history, you know, a Super and a Luthor? What kind of fanfiction is that?" 

"First of all,” Alex says with amusement. “fanfiction? I thought you said you hadn’t been hanging out with Winn as much?” Kara lets out a breath of a laugh at that. “Secondly, I know how that feels, it’s scary-" 

Terrifying.“ Kara says offhandedly. 

"Exactly, but, sometimes, some risks are worth taking,” Alex says gently, which seems to resonate with the blonde on some level. “I guess the only question you have to ask yourself is, is Lena Luthor worth the risk?” Alex says which sends Kara stewing in thought. The blonde blows out her cheeks and then sighs as a far away look forms on her face and, if Alex had to hazard a guess, she’d say that Kara definitely thought Lena was worth the risk. 

There’s a moment of silence between them, of Kara stewing in her thoughts, before Kara seemingly snaps out of it with her own conclusion made. “You’re right.” Kara says and those two words are enough for Alex to know that Kara had made her decision. 

“So what’s the plan for tonight?” Kara asks, changing the subject back to the blonde’s earth birthday. “It’s too late to take those dance classes.” Kara was down for lazing around in her apartment with her sister, watching old movies, or catching up on TV shows, while eating two whole pizzas, but Alex had a glint in her eyes, as though she has something else planned. 

“Well, first we can sit around, order potstickers and pizza-" 

"Potstickers and pizza? You really are sorry.” Kara teases and Alex rolls her eyes playfully. 

“Then later Maggie’s going to come by and we’re all going to go to that concert together, that’s got to be better than line dancing lessons.” Alex says, teasing her sister. Kara laughs and polishes off her cupcake with Alex before she responds. 

“That whole balancing thing?” Kara asks. “I think you’re getting better at it.” Alex beams at that and Kara stands up, practically leaping with happiness, a total contrast to what she had been a few hours ago, and Maggie was totally right, she shouldn’t have to sacrifice any of these two amazing relationships in her life for either one. 

At the concert, Kara even calls Lena (which Maggie is weirdly crazy supportive of - especially after witnessing Supergirl’s and Lena’s dynamic before), telling her that they need to talk, and the rest of the night was spent with the three of them singing their hearts out until their voices were sore, well, all except Kara of course. And maybe Alex had to give Maggie a piggy back at one point, teasing her for her height, and maybe later they made the girl of steel piggy back the both of them - that didn’t exactly end well though.

We need to talk about Andy Karl. He is brilliant in this show and did not get enough credit for it imo. In the beginning he’s such a dick in the most charming way that you still love him.

When he finds out he can do whatever he wants HOLY SHIT. He’s just dancing and pelvic thrusting all over the place. His facial expressions and physical comedy are next level.

HIS ACTING in general. The whole thing. From dick to carefree to even more depressed to appreciating life and seeing Rita for real. I… just can’t describe what a joy it is to watch him. You can’t take your eyes off him.

So sad to see the show go. As a whole it was incredible and one of my favorite things I’ve ever seen. The cast, staging, and choreography were phenomenal. My stomach hurt from laughing and ofc I cried. See it if you can. You won’t regret it.

I watched Louis C.K. 2017 on Netflix yesterday and his bit on why he can’t watch Magic Mike all the way through really, really spoke to me. I was incredibly impressed with his honesty – he didn’t want to watch the whole thing to the end because he’s afraid he’ll realize he’s gay. That he has to turn the channel when the men start to dance because his dick wakes up and he doesn’t want to deal with what that means. He talked for a long time about what he may or may not like (sexually) and he made it a point to say ‘it’s my right to oppress myself’. Rock on, Louis, way to be honest. Just the fact some man on that kind of platform feels comfortable enough to talk about this concept at all is incredibly refreshing. And i bet many people relate to what he’s saying, and laugh to themselves thinking, “him, too?”. Way to start the conversation, man, thanks for that.

2

V after D

66

“I want to hear more about him.” Dr Jackson said.

“Who?”

“Your ex-boyfriend.”

“Urgh. Really?” I grimaced.

“You say you were with him for around a month?”

This must have been the first therapy session for a while where I rolled my eyes, but that was more to do with him than it was the actual therapy itself.

“Yeah. He cheated on me. I threw things. The usual.”

“What about the actual relationship itself? What made it bad?”

“He was just… nasty.” I sighed. “He called me poo-eyes.”

I could see she wanted to laugh, so when I started giggling, she took that as her queue to join in, letting out a little chuckle, covering her mouth.
I wanted to start out with something a little humorous before I delved into just how horrible he was.

“Why?” She asked after her brief spout of laughter.

“He didn’t like the colour of them. Once said that he thought they were lifeless. I have… a scar on my leg, and I hate it. The first time he saw it he laughed, and called it ugly.” I could see her face dropping as I continued. “He always had something bad to say. He was always poking fun at my insecurities, y’know? He tried to stop me from talking to a few of my friends who he didn’t like, and when I didn’t stop he told me I needed to be careful. That he could do better than me, and he would leave if I wasn’t fully committed to him and our relationship.”

“And you didn’t leave him?”

“I… No. I guess it’s one of those things. It’s easier to look back and realise it was toxic, but at the time… I dunno. It felt normal. It felt right. But… I don’t think I’ve ever been with someone who was nice. They’ve all been fucking pricks.”

She made a few notes in silence, and to be honest, it was only just fully dawning on me that I’d spent a good percentage of my life around people who pulled me down, people who had driven down my confidence, and I’d been none the wiser because it was all I’d known.
When I’d moved to the city, everything in my life improved. I was away from my family, I was making friends with people I truly cared about, and who truly cared about me, but by that point the damage had already been done.
I was lucky, to be around people who were wonderful influences on me and my life, and I had to wonder what silent effects it had been having on me. I had to wonder how badly I truly felt whilst I was at university.

“And then he cheated on you?” She asked, once she was done writing.

“He did.”

“How did you find out?”

“Oh, he told me. He was very casual about it. It was very much, what do you want to have for tea? And also, I slept with someone else. Pizza maybe? Bastard.”

“You must find it difficult,” She sighed. “To accept… affection.”

I scrunched my nose, looking down to my fingers, fiddling with my clothing. We’d discussed this kind of thing before, but every single time it hurt to hear it. I hated that I’d wound up feeling that way towards myself, and I hated that I was only realising it after months of therapy. Without therapy, which I had been so reluctant to go to in the first place, I would still be lost within my self-loathing and totally unaware of it.

“I guess so… Yeah.”

“I’ve been trying to think of a way we can change that.” She placed her book down.

“Any luck?”

“Maybe. I already feel like you’ve made a lot of progress, and that’s good.” She smiled. “I think it’s also good that you now spend time with people who have positive influences on you. It all must be doing you a world of good, even if the rewards aren’t instant, or even fully noticeable.”

“I was just thinking that.”

“And I believe there’s quite a simple way that you can add to that. A way you can elevate it.”

“I hope you don’t want me to look in the mirror every morning and say three things I like about myself. I hate that kind of bullshit.” I snickered.

When I’d first started the sessions, my sarcastic comments were always met with more notes, silent stares across the table, and basically Dr Jackson despising every second of it as much as I was.
Now, I could make snarky comments like that, and she knew me enough to appreciate that that was just what I was like. That was my humour. That’s how I worked.
She smiled.

“That would work for some people,” She let out a stammered laugh. “But I know it wouldn’t work for you.”

“Good.”

“Mahatma Gandhi once said, be the change you wish to see in the world.”

“I’ve heard that one!” I grinned proudly.

“I think it’s a good one to live by. I believe that if you start being affectionate with the people you love, if you start being more vocal about how much they mean to you, how grateful you are for them, and everything in between, it gives out a positive energy. Does that make sense?”

“I guess so.” I shrugged, maybe still a little puzzled.

“Be the change you wish to see. I want you to make it your goal that no one you know ever has to feel as lonely as you did. No one has to feel as low as you did. Spread the kind of love that you should have been given your whole life.”

I nodded, firm, calm, collected.
She was right. Again, she was absolutely spot on, and she’d figured out a way help me, that would also suit me, what I was like as a person. She’d managed to work me out, and she was working with me, and I appreciated that so, so much.


67

March the 11th featured an uneventful Saturday afternoon, for the percentage anyway. I was sprawled across my sofa, a bag of crisps balanced on my bloated belly, and Titanic on the tele.
I’d invited Mo to join me, because I was almost sure he’d told me he wasn’t working, but when I’d told him I was watching Titanic, he’d blurted out that he was working.
I didn’t believe him for a second.
Especially when I heard some footsteps crashing about above my head.

“What kind of idiot doesn’t like Titanic?” I mumbled to myself.

Still baffled by the mere concept, I stuck my middle finger up to the ceiling and carried on enjoying the film in peace, but that didn’t last long.
My heart jumped when my phone started buzzing loudly atop my coffee table. It also meant that I’d have to move to answer it, which made me groan and sulk as I moved the bag of crisps and sat upright, stretching a little before I reached out for my phone.
I grinned when I saw that it was Harry calling.

“Hey!” I chirped when I answered.

“Hi!” He was just as chirpy. “You alright?”

“I’m good. Watching Titanic.”

“Surprise, surprise.” I could almost see him rolling his eyes. “Anyway, I come to you with a plan.”

“Oooh, a plan. Okay. Go.”

I hadn’t actually seen him since our meal the weekend before, but we’d been texting back and forth a lot. We weren’t even really talking about anything important, or noteworthy, but there’d been times where he’d had me howling. It felt good just to be talking with him again. It kind of reminded me of where we were before the fake dating, when we were just spending time together, getting to know each other.
It was nice.

“So, every now and then, our boss at work just tells us to close the bar. It literally happens like, once or twice a year, and he just says, alright, you’re not working tonight. So then me and the boys are welcome to spend the night drinking there. We raid the bar, totally free, and we’re allowed to bring a few people. It’s kinda like a lock-in for staff members, and a few friends. You in?”

“I’m invited?” I squealed.

“Yeah, of course.”

Although I understood the reasons behind it, I was still silently bitter that they only hired males at the bar where he worked. It sounded bloody ideal. I knew they worked ridiculously long hours, and they all worked hard, and they probably had to deal with a lot of idiots, but the perks of the job and the pay and everything else seemed wonderful.
I was jealous.

“That sounds amazing.” I sighed. “But, I was planning on drinking with the guys from work tonight. I’m sorry.”

“They can come!”

“Really? But that’s four of us.”

“It’s fine. Bring them along. I’d like to meet them anyway.”

“Okay, great. Good. Thanks, Curls.”

“So what’s happening on the Titanic right now?”

I settled back into my spot, throwing my legs back up and balancing my head on the two cushions I’d propped up so I could watch the film effortlessly.

“It’s sinking.”

“Well don’t spoil it for me!” He cried.

“Are you saying you haven’t seen Titanic?”

“I haven’t.”

“Well, you have to come round and watch it. I have it on DVD twice. You have to watch it. It’s great.”

“Why do you have it twice?” He chuckled.

“I just do. Also, can I ask… Did you genuinely not know the ending to Titanic?”

“No, I knew.” He laughed. “I just didn’t know you’d be so offended by the fact I haven’t seen it.”

“Of course I would be offended by that, Harry. It’s my favourite.”

He kept laughing down the line, the sound pushing through the speakers and swelling my chest.
We were doing incredibly well at this whole friendship thing, because even though a percentage of our time together had been based around falsities, we were incredibly natural around one another. We’d quickly ignored the mistakes of our past and started something new, and it was working wonderfully.

“I’m sorry. I promise I’ll watch it with you.” He chuckled.

“Good. I’m looking forward to tonight.”

“Me too. It’s always one of the best nights. V after D.”

“V after D?” I whimpered.

“Yeah. Vocatus after Dark.”

“Oh my god. No. No. The go to thing there is vagina after dick.”

What?” He cried down the phone. “No it’s not! That’s just you and your dirty mind.”

“If you said V after D to anyone, they would jump to vagina after dick. I’m telling you.”

“They would not!”

“Except, in that case, it should be D after V.”

“Except after C.”

“Fuck off.” I laughed. “You’re such an idiot.”

There was a small knock on my door, and at first I thought it would have been Mo, but then I knew that Mo would have just let himself in.
I lowered my brows as I jumped to my feet.

“I can’t believe your automatic thought was vagina after dick.” He huffed over the phone. “You’ve let me down.”

“Just know, I will not be calling this evening V after D. It just sounds rude. Is there a certain time I need to be there? Or should I just-”

I’d swung my front door open, and the sight of who was ahead of me had brought my sentence to abrupt halt.
I stood breathlessly staring at my sister.

“Ren? You there? You okay?” Harry quizzed.

“I’ll call you back.” I hung up quickly.

She looked just as uncomfortable as I felt, stood just outside my doorway, completely silent.
I could feel an intense anger crawling across my skin, and that was before I’d spotted the small gift she had held under her left arm.
I felt sick.

“If that’s a fucking present for me, forget it. I don’t want it.”

“Florence-”

I left the door open, welcoming her into my home without actually being welcoming, and stormed back through to my kitchen. I didn’t want her to be there. I didn’t want to have to repeat the words I’d yelled at her last month because I knew they wouldn’t have gone in the first time. I didn’t want her pathetic pity gift and I didn’t want her intruding on my boring day. I liked my day being boring.

“I’m sorry I forgot.” She followed me swiftly inside, slamming the door. “I’ve just been so busy.”

I flicked the kettle on, in dire need of a brew to get me through what was bound to be a difficult conversation, and I leant against the counter, arms folded, scowling at her.

“What about mum and dad? Were they too busy too? You’d think mum would remember the date she pushed an entire human out of herself.”

“Florence, why are you being so crude?” She cringed.

“It’s a valid point! You managed to get an excuse out of them, too? Because I still haven’t heard a thing from them.”

“I spoke with mum, and I think she just doesn’t know how to approach it. She feels terrible. Please,” She held the present out to me. “Take it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“But I bought it for you!”

“When? Fucking yesterday? On your way here? That means nothing to me, Matty. Absolutely nothing.”

It sometimes feels like bullshit, when people say it’s the gesture rather than the gift, but in that moment, I knew it was the gesture that really meant something. A gift from her, no matter what it was, only meant something if there was some thought and love behind it, and there was zero.

“Fine.” She practically threw it down on the counter. “Look, I know I’ll never be able to apologise enough, but that’s not the only reason I’m here. I really need to talk to you.”

“About what?” I huffed.

“About what you said to me on the phone.”

“Oh, so you did listen? I thought I might have to repeat myself.”

“Florence, you told me I needed to fix this! So if you could just drop the attitude for five minutes and let me try, I’d be really grateful.”

I bit my tongue, feeling the heat of my sadness pushing from my stomach and shooting right up to my throat. I looked down to the floor, unable to face her, suddenly with very little to say.

“Fine.” I swallowed.

“Why wouldn’t mum let you dance?”

I scrunched my nose, not wanting to have this conversation again.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other.

“She said something along the lines of… I’d make a fool out of myself. That I didn’t have the coordination for it.”

“Which is true.”

“Matty, I know it’s true!” I barked. “But it’s not really the point, is it? I wanted to dance, and it shouldn’t have mattered how fucking bad I would have been, she should have given me the chance! I should have been able to try and fail. It was an option for you, so why wasn’t it an option for me?”

“Maybe… Maybe she just wanted to save you the embarrassment.”

“MATTY, CAN YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF? Stop trying to justify it!” I screamed. “I think the only reason you’re struggling to realise how shitty that is, is because that was just that start. I think me pointing this out to you opens your fucking mind up to how unfairly I’ve been treated.”

I could almost see it happening. I could almost see her regular memories twisting and reshaping as she saw things she hadn’t done before. She saw me waddling about in her dance shoes whilst our mother sniggered. She heard my mother praising her whilst telling me I needed to buck my ideas up. She remembered my mother helping her when she really needed it, and being disappointed in me when I really needed some support.
I got to witness her memories readjusting and adapting to match my own, and it was clear she had no idea how to handle it. Because it wasn’t her fault, but the fact she’d been so blind to it felt like a contribution to me. She’d ignored it, turned and looked the other way, and that hurt too. I felt like my sister should have been my support system, and she never had been.

“Have you… ever spoken with mum? About it?” She eventually gasped, unsure what else to say.

“I… No.” I felt defeated even saying that. “I tried… once, but… I caved. Couldn’t do it.”

“I’m sorry, Florence. I just… I’m not sure I’ve ever really thought about it before.”

“I know you haven’t.”

“Do you… want me to maybe say something?” She tried.

“No.” I shook my head, quick to answer. “It needs to come from me. I… I don’t know when I’ll have the guts to do it, but I will. One day, I will. It needs to come from me. It has to.”

I couldn’t blame her, when she found herself struggling to find the right words again. She was just starting to wrap her head around something that had been happening for years.
She was clearly a little baffled.
But I had been baffled too. It may have been brand new to her, but it was still relatively new to me, too.

“I never really understood why she was so harsh on you when you dropped out of university.” She sighed. “And… there were a million times I wanted to drop out. Even spoke about it with her a few times.”

“Really?” My eyes went wide. “What did she say?”

“Well she wasn’t happy, but… I know she will have supported me. I could tell.”

I expected nothing less, really.
Another spell of silence cast itself upon us, both of us with our heads down, lumps in our throats, and the realisation that even though the conversation had calmed, the crater in our family had never been larger.

“I don’t think you need therapy, Florence.”

Those words, for some reason, made me smile. But it wasn’t because I felt happy, or because I agreed with her. I was smiling because she was wrong. I was smiling because for once, I was aware that I knew more than my perfect sister did.

“I think I do.” I whispered, a raw honesty in my voice.


68

The muscles in Harry’s arms were flexed and tight as he rocked the cocktail shaker, drowning the silver appliance with his giant hands. He was smirking to himself as I sat on the barstool and watched him work, propping up my chin and ignoring the bustle of our group of friends who were all introducing themselves behind me as Harry prepared the first round of drinks.

“Only you could make that interaction with your sister a funny one.” He chuckled after my tale.

“I’m doing it to save my sanity. It was actually extremely draining.”

“You okay?” He turned to face me.

“I’m fine.” I shrugged. “It’s a good thing, really, in the long run. It just feels shit now.”

“You need this drink.”

“I do. I’m ready for it!”

He had around fifteen cocktail glasses all lined up, and once he’d done preparing the mix, he loosened the lid and began to pour out the liquid, smoothly moving so it poured from one glass to the next, and even though it looked like he was putting in no effort whatsoever, each glass held exactly the same amount.
I watched him fill the glasses, completely entranced.

“Your friends were looking at me all weird.” He commented.

“Huh?”

“Your friends.” He nodded towards them, filling the final glass.

“Oh. Yeah, it’s because of the whole… Well… they think you’re my ex-boyfriend. So, they think we’re getting back together.”

“Oh yeah. That makes sense.” He stumped. “Shit, I’ve just realised my friends will think the same thing!”

“See, this is another reason we originally agreed to cut ties!” I squealed. “Because of all the weird complications.”

“Genuinely, did we think any of this through? At any point?” He sniggered.

“No. We just dove straight in. Seriously idiotic.”

“It was.” He agreed, still smiling to himself. “I wonder what it’ll take for me to regret it.”

I smiled to myself, liking that Harry was making it clear that even though we’d stumbled across a million bumps in the road, and our emotions had been torn and tattered and tested, that he still didn’t regret what had happened between us. He was still happy we’d been insane enough to go through with that ridiculous scheme.
I wanted to fire some form of witticism at him, but I couldn’t. My cheeks were burning up for some reason, and I think he saw it, and decided to add fuel to the fire that was already scorching my skin.

“You look amazing tonight, Florence Daisy Valentine.” He smiled, placing his drinks on a giant silver tray.

“Why are you trying to flatter me? What do you want?”

“Nothing!” He snarled a laugh. “Just being nice.”

I lowered my eyes slightly, thinking about what Dr Jackson had told me to do, about making the people in my life feel worthy and loved.
Something that needed pointing out to me, something I needed to be guided into doing, was something that just came completely naturally to Harry, without even a second thought, or a second motive.

“Spreading niceness. That’s your thing, isn’t it?”

“I-I dunno.” He shrugged. “I didn’t realise I had a thing.”

“Your thing is being just… the nicest person.” I put it into practice, that method we’d spoken of. “And I want you to know that I’m very glad we’re friends. Because anyone would be lucky to have you in their lives, and I now realise I was lucky. Stupid and lucky.”

He stopped his movements for a few moments, watching me with his features somewhat dropped. I figured he was a little thrown by my honesty, and everything I had just said to him.
But after two months of shutting him out, it was time to open myself up. Not just to him, but to everyone. But Harry was there, and I felt like maybe he deserved a little bit of extra attention.
Maybe I owed him that.

“Well… I feel the same way about you.” He eventually gasped

We were both just grinning at each other across bar, and it was quickly dawning on us the reality of our situation. Not just that we were being friends, and not just that I was obviously making a conscious effort to better myself, but it was something else.
It was the reality in general. This wasn’t fake. They weren’t words being thrown about in the hope of impressing our parents, or letting people think we were a couple.
We were being real, and maybe this was one the first times where the lines between our real feelings and our fake ones weren’t blurred.


69

“So tell me,” Zayn leaned in a little closer. “How many people here know about you and Harry?”

“They all know we exist.” I quipped, the alcohol I’d consumed audible in my tone. “Everyone knows about the existence of both of us. Amazing, right?”

“I’m sure you weren’t this sarcastic the first time I met you.” He scowled.

“You probably just blocked it out.”

“Probably.” He let out a low chuckle. “But you know what I mean! How many people know about the whole… fake… thing?”

I was many, many drinks down, as was everyone else. The earlier part of the evening had mostly been spent with us all in fits of laughter, everyone talking and bonding as a group. But as the sun started to rise outside, people had kind of drifted apart, conversations had toned down and the rounds were getting smaller.
The night was slowly ending.
I looked over Zayn’s shoulder, seeing Harry and Sasha sat laughing away over something or other. The two of them had formed a quick bond, and it was nice, the two of us joining our groups of friends together and everything working so well.

“Just you.” I said, turning to face him again.

“Just me?” He placed his hand on his chest. “Shit. I love that. I almost feel like I’m part of a cult or something!”

“That’s… a little dramatic, but I see where you’re coming from.”

I’d figured Zayn was an extremely forward person when we first met him on the train. He hadn’t shied away from talking to us, questioning us, holding my gaze when I’d caught his eye. Sitting with him then and spending my evening with him confirmed it. He was sat close to me, leaning his body my way, talking so lowly it was like there was no one else in the entire world. He had that same charm that the rest of the staff had; it was no wonder they’d taken him on. He was a little extravagant, extremely charming and weirdly confident.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“I feel like even if I say no, you’re going to ask me anyway.” I smirked.

“Are there any… real feelings there between you two?”

“Huh?” I gasped.

“Did you fuck?”

What?” I squealed, hitting his arm. “No, we did not! We’re just friends.”

He held up his hand, his little finger extended as he nudged even closer to me, a sceptical look raising one brow and doubt running through his eyes.

“You gotta pinky-promise me, because I don’t believe you.”

“Are you calling me untrustworthy?”

“No, but I’m just doubting your honesty on the matter.”

“We’re just friends.” I reiterated.

“Then why did you stop talking and then start talking again? I need to know everything. If I’m gunna do this fake dating thing with someone, I need to know the real repercussions.”

“How many times can I advise you against it?”

“How long do I need to hold up my pinky before you promise?” His other brow raised to join the first. “You like him.”

I clasped my hand around his, forcing his little finger down to join the others, giggling and shaking my head at him, tittering to myself as he waited for an explanation, and the scepticism on his face was increasing with every move I made.

“It went beyond the fake thing very quickly.” I said. “But it’s not like that. I think very highly of Harry, but how could I not?”

“He is a great lad.”

“He is.”

“And youuuuu like him.” Zayn sniggered.

I glanced over his shoulder and my eyes caught within Harry’s, and I noticed the way he was observing, shooting an almost jealous glare across the room towards us. I really hadn’t been expecting it, to be honest. He was obviously still a little attached to that ridiculous idea that me and Zayn were going to do the whole fake relationship thing, there was no other explanation for it.
I hiccupped, trying to ignore the fact that my head was spinning, trying to ignore that Harry was still watching the two of us. I was suddenly even more aware of our close proximity.

“You alright?” Zayn quizzed me.

“Bit drunk.” I sighed. “Think I’m gunna head home.”

“There’s a taxi company a few doors down.” He nodded. “They work with us so we can get home safe at the end of our shifts. Go to them and say it’s V after D, and they’ll give you a free lift home.”

“What was your go-to thought when you first heard V after D?” I asked quickly.

“Vagina after Dick.”

Thank you!” I cried. “I knew it wasn’t just me.”

I tried to get up to my feet, falling back down for a split second before I successfully lifted myself the second time, noticing that Harry still had his eyes fixed on me as I moved.

“I’m going home!” I called to everyone, saving me from doing the rounds. “You’re all very wonderful people. Thank you for a lovely evening. You’re all very nice and I like it.”

I just sounded like I was being one of those drunk people who got all lovey-dovey after one too many, but I was just trying to execute my new thing of spreading happiness, and I think I was better at it when I was drunk. It was extremely genuine. Not that it wouldn’t have been when I was sober, but there’s something about drunken love that seems so honest, so sweet.
They all chimed their goodbyes at the same time, loud and rowdy and drunk as hell.
I began to make my journey outdoors, and Harry’s head followed me like an owl until he twisted on the sofa.
I stopped briefly, snapping my body down so I could lean close to his ear.

“Thank you for tonight.” I whispered. “I’ve really loved it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He whispered back, turning his head so his lips lingered close with mine. “There’s a taxi company just round-”

“Zayn told me.” I smiled softly. “I’ll use them.”

“Right.” He nodded, turning to face away from me again.

I should have kept my mouth shut, really, but with an array of cocktails swimming gleefully through my stomach, I couldn’t quite bite my tongue.

“Are you jealous?” I whispered, being extra quiet.

“Of who? Zayn?” He snorted. “Fuck no. Definitely not.”

“I’m not going to do the fake thing with him!” I cried, as softly as I could. “You have to believe me.”

“I do believe you.” He turned back once more. “But he still wants to do it with you, and it’s… It’s annoying. It pisses me off.”

“Doesn’t matter what I say, does it?” I huffed. “Goodnight, Curls.”

I shot upright again, waving to everyone before I made my way out the front door, the cold air raising my skin as I began marching down the street, seething through my clenched teeth as an automatic reaction to the mornings bitter breeze.
I couldn’t wait to get home, to wrap myself up tight and wake up with a pounding headache. I was ready for it.

“REN!”

I whipped around as soon as I heard Harry’s voice, watching as he did a little jog to catch up with me, and it was hard to feel any negativity towards the freezing cold wind when it played with his hair in the way it was doing then. It fluttered across his face, wrapped around his skin, eclipsing his features and enhancing his beauty all at the same time.

“I’ll share a taxi with you.” He said once he’d caught up.

“You’re in the complete opposite direction.” I told him, even though I knew he was very well aware.

“I just wanna make sure you get home safe.”

I was about to argue, tell him that I was getting into a taxi with a company he knew and trusted, but I didn’t. I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t about to fight him on it, because really, I wanted him there. Not because I felt unsafe, but simply because I wanted him to be with me.

“Okay.” I smiled.

Once he was at my side, we took off again, our shoulders bashing together as we strolled down the street, and I watched my feet as we went, very wary that I could trip up at any minute.
We were quiet for the entire journey, only letting out a small giggle at one point as Harry pulled at my arm, dragging me to the side so that I didn’t walk into a lamppost. Other than that, we were both quiet up until we walked into the taxi firm, the man behind the glass grinning wildly at Harry as soon as he saw him.

“My boy!” He greeted.

“Hey!” Harry chuckled happily. “I need two drop offs tonight, that okay?”

“Whatever you need, Harry. Whatever you need. He’s pulling round the front for you now.”

“Thanks. You’re the best.”

There was a drunken man asleep in the corner, but obviously Harry was a priority, because within seconds a car appeared outside for us, and Harry was bidding the cheery man farewell.
We scurried outside and hopped in as quickly as we could, and thankfully, once Harry had given my address, we were soon speeding down the road, my head lolling back and my eyes falling shut, my stomach performing little flips and churns every time the road altered its level.
We stayed quiet.
Nothing was said, not even when I felt Harry’s fingers toying with mine. My hand was laying in the centre of the car, and from nowhere he began to modify it, accommodating my fingers so he could slot his own between them, and I instinctively clasped back, holding his hand tightly, totally natural.
What felt weird was the fact it hardly computed, it wasn’t something that felt strange. Holding his hand in that moment made me feel like I should always be holding his hand, like I’d merely be searching for his touch if it wasn’t already there, soft against mine.
When we pulled up outside my building, I didn’t want to let go.

“I’m gunna walk her upstairs.” Harry spoke to our driver. “I’ll be five minutes, do you mind waiting?”

“Not at all, pal.”

“Thank you.”

I squeezed his hand before I let it go, opening the door and tactfully clambering out of the vehicle, only experiencing a slight stumble, and then we were on our way, pushing through the front door and then making our way upstairs.
I wasn’t entirely sure why our journey had been so silent. Usually myself and Harry just bounced off each other, making jokes and laughing and just talking about anything and everything. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was unfamiliar.
When we reached my floor, I knew I needed to break it.

“You didn’t need to do this.” I swallowed.

“Do what?”

“Get me home. I can look after myself.”

“Ren, I’m aware you can look after yourself.” He shook his head. “But it doesn’t mean that the people who… care for you, don’t want to look after you. It’s nice to have support.”

I guess I’d never thought of it that way before. I’d always seen support and aid as co-dependence, rather than people actually wanting to be there for me.
The headache I’d been anticipating for the morning introduced itself early.
When we reached my door, I pressed my back against the wall just beside it, once again routing through my bag in the hope of finding my keys, praying I hadn’t lost them.
Harry watched me in silence for a few seconds, and then I noticed he was edging his way closer to me.
With my hand still buried in my bag I shot my head up, my eyes aligning with his momentarily. My throat was constricted, my eyes flitting down to his full lips. I felt sick.

“Ren, I need to tell you something.”

I took my eyes back to his, and they remained there, our gazes locked together, and our aura was intense, nauseating.

“Okay.” I hushed.

He looked nervous, like he was questioning whether he should really tell me what he was just about to, his mind racing and his heart pulsing wildly, but his eyes always with mine.

“I fucked some random girl.” He finally gasped. “I fucked some random girl and she meant nothing to me.”

My head fell back and hit the wall with a thud, and my heart ached.
That wasn’t what he wanted. He had never wanted it to be that way. He had waited 23 years to find someone special. He had been hoping for someone special to be in his life, and he’d lose his virginity to that person.
But it hadn’t worked that way, and that pained me.
Still staring at him, trying to be blind to the sadness that crafted the look on his face, I stuttered the only sentence I could articulate.

“I’m sorry it ended up being that way, Harry.”

“I… I know.” He finally dropped his head. “I just… I’m gunna go.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” He brushed. “I am. I’m good.”

“And I’ll see you soon, right?”

“Of course you will.” He looked back to me. “Really soon. Promise.”

With a weak smile, he once again pushed his head forward, planting a delicate kiss to my forehead, and then he began his journey home, this time not turning to see me.
I was left feeling completely lost, and praying that Harry didn’t regret his first time in the same way I did, because it was a feeling I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

TTB -- Forging Love

Title: Touch the Butts Hobbit Edition— Forging Love  

 Summary: You were a simple office worker, until a twist of fate sends you tumbling into Middle Earth and into the Company of Thorin Oakenshield.  You don’t know what to expect, you don’t know if you will survive, but you have this feeling that there is a great love story in the making.  But who will be the one you are destined to be with?  Make your choice and Touch the Butts.  

 Warnings: Language.  Fluff.   Talk of sexy times.

 Start From the Beginning

Originally posted by tinysofia

The forges of Erebor had always fascinated you.  Granted, after the whole thing with the dragon, you couldn’t really look at them too seriously, but they were still magnificent.  Every worker there was able to make the most incredible things. Small jewelry that seemed like strings of gold tied together, special weapons with runes on them, armor, just fascinating to watch.  

You tended to sneak down and watch every now and then, standing off to the side just to listen to the sounds of the hammers hitting the anvil’s, the gold bubbling, the silver being cooled.  But today, you got a special surprise when you trekked down to the forges with your lunch in hand.

Keep reading

the best thing about Insecure

is that there are only a few white people (and non-black POC) scattered here and there, and all of them are one-note walking punchlines. they have no nuance or agency.

Insecure is a black show about blackness, populated with complicated black characters who are addictive to watch, in all their idiosyncrasies. it’s amazing. as a white viewer who’s been captivated by white storytelling her whole life, i find a comedy like this really incredible, and it’s a humbling privilege just to witness this bold and beautiful show.