just watch last night for heavens sake

i love you but you’re turning into a moth

• you take evening walks regularly now. last night you just stood under a street light, mouth gaping, eyes wide. you were completely immobile for seven minutes until someone texted you. i was wondering where you were.
• you wake up from your fourth fever dream this week. your mind is flickering and hungry. your hair is standing completely on end.
• every morning there are more split ends. split ends split ends split ends. feathery and untamable. curling around your forehead. i can’t help you brush it out anymore.
• your ipod is filled with pulsing, oozing, 80s ballads and trickling blaring synth tracks. a stephen king audiobook or two. you don’t know how they got there. you listen with headphones and walk in anxious spirals
• neon lights accompanied by an audible buzz make you sick with a strange passion. you didn’t even blink for three minutes last night while you looked. i watched you. then you kissed me like you’ve never kissed me before and it scared me.
• i finally get you out of the house during the day for a picnic but there are butterflies and all you can whisper is “spiteful spiteful spiteful” 
stop spending our rent money on coats.
fur coats and musty old track jackets. it’s august.
• please don’t scratch on the screen door anymore. use the doorbell, knock on the doorframe or just text me for heavens sake??
• turquoise, green, brown, white, grey. dreamcatcher necklaces. shoes from the thrift store that you liked because they were “quiet” (?) they are each stitched with a crescent moon on the top. ceramic mugs with field illustrations and one with a little blue fairy. i can’t keep up
• we both know you had to quit your day job. all you do is sleep and sleep and sleep. then at night it’s right to your computer. at first it was netflix…now it’s a bleak unflinching stare at your blank desktop while you eat with your hands. i counted. 30 to 40 minutes in between each blink.
• tufts of fur missing from those fur coats. pages from your homework are torn and bitten. did you do that?
• spiders horrify you. you break into a cold sweat and then the shaking and then that scream that turns my blood to ice. please..just…sit down and i’ll take it outside
• i wish you’d tell me where you go at night. why don’t you call me? i bought a neon sign and put it outside our apartment. just call me once please