okay, i’m too stressed looking at election results (fuck you florida, get your shit together) so have a stripper au i was too chickenshit to post (bc i don’t really like stripper aus, so this was a challenge). i don’t think i posted this already, but i did share it with a bunch of people privately so my brain is all confused. ~1700 words, adorable cat named pizza
“Come here often?”
Eren looked around at the half naked bodies lining the stage
and the horny middle-aged women screaming at them and Jean smirking as the
stripper pulled him into the VIP room.
“Relax, it was a joke.”
The man pushed him into the dimly lit room.
“Sit, but try to only sit on one asscheek these cushions
have so much shit and spit and cum on them it’ll make your head spin.”
Eren’s mouth hung open, still a little buzzed from the shots
earlier until the words registered.
“You’re…not very good at sexytalk,” Eren said.
“Not paid to talk, I’m paid to dance,” the stripper said,
teasing by dipping his fingers down beneath his thong.
Graves: We are not moving to Chicago for like a million reasons Credence: But Percy, pizza. Graves: There’s pizza in New York Credence: Right. Thanks, Percy, you’re so good at reminding me where pizza is
(Parks and Recreation; season 6, episode 21: Moving Up)