just to know youre alive

Ex-Girl

Characters: Kihyun/Reader

Genre: Fluff

Length: 2000 words 

A/N: Happy birthday to my beloved bias

Post-breakup AU: “I know you can’t cook for shit so i’ve been bringing you dinner every night, just, y’know, to keep you alive”


You are only halfway through your paper box of Chinese noodles when the ring of the doorbell has your eyes tearing away from your television screen. You set your food down with a grunt of annoyance, getting up to wade past your table filled with what you figure is a week’s worth of takeout containers and manage to, more or less, stumble to your door.

When you swing it open, you’re met with a sight that makes your heart jump and twirl and sink all at once. The boy you wish to have forgotten stands before you awkwardly, with tousled hair and dull eyes that don’t even meet yours upon contact.

“Kihyun? What are you doing here?” You speak, observing the way his peach fringes fall lower beneath his eyebrows than the last time you saw him. But you don’t really want to think about that last time.

He shifts his hand and it’s only then do you realize he is carrying a plastic bag with  indiscernible contents inside.

“I know that you don’t cook. And now that I…don’t cook for you anymore, I was wondering how you were getting by,” he spoke with a sternly straight face, eyes flickering up to yours bravely for a moment before they are glancing past your shoulder and fixating upon your table. “But I see you’ve been ordering takeout.”

You shift so that your shoulder rests against the doorframe and blocks his view. “I… no, I’m not-”

He raises an eyebrow. “That isn’t healthy for you. Do you have enough money to keep ordering every night, by the way?”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. He has always been the one to nag you on everything you do and, although you make it clear to him that it is less than appreciated, you secretly enjoy it a little too much. Now that he is here in front of you again, it feels too painfully familiar.

“It doesn’t matter to you now, does it?” You say, letting your thoughts known and nearly flinching at your choice of words. He gives you a sad smile in response, eyes turning down to your shoes while fidgeting awkwardly. You feel a tug on your heart.

Keep reading

6

You’re beyond reason.

*Fat person does a thing*

Person: Excuse me, I hope you know fat people can’t do that.

Fat person: But I literally just did.

Person: Well you can’t.

Fat person: Cool.

*Continues doing the thing*

Theory...?

ok so you know how theres that theory that the original goner ending music is the start to heavydirtysoul?

well i was thinking that the original goner, heavydirtysoul, and the ‘new’ goner could be telling a story. in the first rendition of goner we clearly see that tyler loses. hes a goner, theres no point to living anymore. but he gives it one more day. thats when heavydirtysoul starts. hes begging for someone to save him. his soul. and then the new goner starts and it starts off kinda like the first one but over time you see tyler fights back. he realizes whats going on and he fights blurryface. its that point in the song when he first starts to scream ‘dont let me be gone’ that starts the fight and the final gentle ‘you’ is the end. its llike a sigh. tyler won this time. he decided (story-wise or real life) to stay alive for just another day and he realized that it was worth it, he can beat this thing and live.

i just know a lot of suicidal people do this, where they decide to live just one more day, or one more week etc.

im saying its worth it, and those songs are proof. we’ll beat our demons one day. and we’ll be happy to be alive. just keep fighting. 

just one more day.

Just caught an interesting show on health and nutrition on TV.

An average man, who didn’t exercise at all, ate (and needed) 3,400 calories per day. That is a normal amount for a fully grown adult who moves around.

1,200 is not even enough for a small child.

Please don’t ever restrict your calories, you needs more energy than you possibly know, just to function and keep you alive. Listen to your body, honour your hunger cues, and always nourish yourself with plenty of good food.

If you haven’t eaten enough today, this is your sign to make sure you do so <3

youtube

made a video of me reading a poem by @kdecember

he came down on me, all fours, we were blackbirds before you got here
do you know what else he did? he said it would probably be a good idea if
you, just for a place to drink

and addiction is like that / and addiction is like that / and addiction is like
that / well I’m telling you I grew up with it / all my life / just a little drink my father / your father / the fathers would say //

just a little something to help you get through / father with his small addiction / mother her two personalities // I know

the score / I know / and I know and I know and I know and I know and
I know and I know and I know / more than you could do to me / I know
the tenth planet

wants your mother buried alive / I know just the place