just the reminder i wanted today

Another quiet day

Today has been another quiet, kinda rainy day. These are always kinda nice, but it does lead one to thinking, and an idle mind without much to think about can be a dangerous thing.

I’ve dug myself a bit of hole, and that has only gotten deeper today. I keep saying I’ll be back soon, and I want to. I want to do all these things, but I just can’t, and I don’t know when I’ll be back to being “me” again.

I’ve done some bad things, and today has been a day of reflection, reminding myself of those things that I can’t undo. I’m doing my best to move on from my mistakes, but I have been doing my best for upwards of a year now.

The best I can do is bury it all, and try to forget about it. But the harder I try to forget, the more I am reminded of what I did and who I was back then. There’s no changing it. What’s done is done, and I can’t go back. It should be simple and easy to get over, but it’s not, and it hasn’t ever been.

I guess all I have open to me for now as options are just to sit and wait this one out, hopefully with the continued love and support of my wonderful friends. I do adore their company so much, and I want each and every one of them, of you still reading this post, to know how much I value our time together.  Yes, even you. Yeah, you right there behind the screen. That’s you too~

Thank you for being here, and for reading this. It does mean a lot. I just… guess I need more time. I’ll be back eventually. I’ll stop promising soon, but things should return to normal eventually. Until then, I’ll still be here to chat or talk about whatever. 

@fushiginokunino replied to your post “au where yato IS jesus”

Now I’m just picturing Yato pitching a glob of mud directly at Kazuma’s face

Yato: “are you ready?”

Kazuma: “um–”

Yato: “INCOMIIIIIIIING”

Kazuma: *splat* *scream*


@dr-gothtastic replied to your post “so…I have an interview today that is really kind of important and…”

Praying for you~ Good luck!

@kurisuumakise replied to your post “so…I have an interview today that is really kind of important and…”

GIVES YOU THE BIGGEST HUG AND SCREAMS GOOD LUCK KNOCK EM DEAD IN UR EAR

@naturegirl1225 replied to your post “so…I have an interview today that is really kind of important and…”

Good luck!!! You’re amazing and you got this down for sure!!! If it helps at all, just imagine that they already want to hire you, you’re just reminding them why they want to hire you :)

@sabraeal replied to your post “so…I have an interview today that is really kind of important and…”

you got this! :)

@soraoira replied to your post “so…I have an interview today that is really kind of important and…”

You can do it! Good luck!!

@falling-skies-and-alibis replied to your post “so…I have an interview today that is really kind of important and…”

BEST OF LUCK TO U HONEY BUN

omg, thank you all so much!!

I think the interview itself went pretty well, but I have to wait until the end of the week to see if I actually get selected. :’) which isn’t too bad, as far as waiting time goes. and if I don’t get it, that’s fine!! but thank you again, so much <333

Sleepover is an incredibly moving, beautifully shot and painfully told story of love. Hayley Kiyoko always DELIVERS such accurate LGBTQ+ representation and I’m so fucking grateful! When you’re in that situation of “I just want to be with them so bad” but the feeling isn’t mutual , you can feel so isolated and heartbroken. What I love about Hayley is she always makes sure to remind us that we are NOT ALONE. Our feelings matter, they aren’t predatory and we will find a way to make it through. THIS is the representation that I needed when I was figuring out my sexuality and I’m so glad the young queer kids of today have it too. Thank you for all you do Queen @hayleykiyoko

Tips on dating for when YOU have BPD

I’ve seen so many articles and posts on “how to date someone with BPD”, or worse “warning signs your partner has BPD” or “how to recover from dating someone with BPD”. But I could only find ONE article giving advice to people WITH BPD in relationships. So, I’ve made my own. Here are some tips on maintaining a good relationship when YOU have BPD:

  • Be open. I know you’ll be scared that if you’re too honest, you’ll scare the partner away. But you need to be truthful, or you’ll end up bottling things up, and then they explode.
  • Saying that, sometimes it’s okay not to express your fears. Small fears such as how your partner hasn’t texted back as fast as normal, don’t need to be expressed when they occur. Once you’ve calmed down, take the time to express it. Say “It makes me a bit sad when you don’t reply fast, but I understand that sometimes that happens” This way, your partners understands your fears, but also knows that you understand their limits too. Sometimes our fears are small and go away if we wait, so take a minute to thing logically (if you can).
  • It’s okay to show symptoms! Don’t be mad at yourself if you have a mood swing in front of your partner, it;s not your fault
  • Avoid expressing when you’re splitting. It’s hard not to let every things out when we’re mad and splitting, but try not to if you can. Try and suppress for a little time and express your feelings once you’ve settled. This way you can express them neutrally, without bias, and make sense when you do so.
  • Keep reminders of your partner’s care for you. Screen shot texts and keep them in a folder. When you feel unloved or the person isn’t responding, read through these to remind yourself that they love you
  • Ask your partner to give you small reminders. Ask “every now and again, can you remind me you love me?”. This isn’t a big ask- a small text once a day is not manipulative or needy, and your partner should be ahppy to as this makes you happy
  • Set guidelines. It’s okay to have certain things you get paranoid about. Tell your partner that there are some things you don’t like- e.g. “I don’t like it when you use full stops, it makes me think you’re angry, could you avoid doing so? I understand if you mess up though.” A relationship is about caring for each other and making each other comfortable, so your partner should be ahppy to make small changes to make you happy, just as you’ll make small changes to make them happy!
  • Be prepared to compensate. Sometimes we get paranoid about things that we just have to let happen. We get worried when our partner talks about other people, when they see other people. It’s okay to express this, but we have to learn that we can’t stop our partners doing this. This is hard, and something I struggle with myself, but it’s needed to make our partners feel comfortable. If your partner is out doing something you don’t like, distract yourself. 
  • Find someone else, with BPD is best, to vent to. I have a close friend or 2 who I vent my worries to, and they have BPD as well. They understand and validate my fears, so that I don’t feel needy or mean. This way you can express these fears without controlling and hurting your partner. E.g. I say to my friends “My partner is seeing his ex today. I get that’s his right to but it’s pissing me off and I just wanted to tell someone.” 
  • Remind yourself it’s okay to express yourself. Telling your partner you’re scared they’re going to leave you isn’t automatically abusive or manipulative, it’s true.Tell them you feel suicidal isn’t manipulative, you deserve support and love.
  • When splitting, learn to distance yourself. If you notice you’re splitting for an unfair reason, it’s okay to distance yourself. It’s okay to walk out a room, to stop replying for a minute to compose yourself. This way, you won’t lash out, and you can avoid getting more angry. Inform your partner you are splitting, so they can give you space.
  • Don’t let yourself be invalidated. If your parter says something invalidating, mean, or hurtful, tell them. We get scared that if we tell our partners they hurt us they may leave, but it’s important not to let our partners hurt us.
  • Tell your partner about your BPD- and if not that- about your symptoms. Tell them you split (you sometimes hate people for no reason), tell them you have abandonment fears (get scared they’ll leave you). This way your partner can adapt and help you. Give them tips to help you. e.g. “If I’m scared you’ll leave me, tell me you love me, and tell me why you love me”
  • Learn to say sorry. Sometimes we lash out, sometimes we get irrational and hurt our partners. this may not be our fault, but it is our responsibility. Learn to say “I’m sorry I lashed out”.
  • You deserve someone who’s willing to help you. You deserve someone who is willing to send you little messages, who is willing to validate and support you. Don’t settle for someone who gets mad at you for your mood swings or invalidates your feelings.
    We deserve a kind, loving, supporting relationship as much as anyone else.

anonymous asked:

THE LGBTQ+ FANDERS MEETUP WAS TODAY & I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW. cause we love you and there's so many lgbtq+ people who love ya♥♥♥

I KNOW!!!! I WAS REMINDED SO LATE AND I WANNA TELL YOU ALL HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Random appreciation of Ethan because he’s come so far and it makes me emotional. I watched an older video recently, back when his channel was still fairly small, and he talked about what the channel meant to him and what he wanted to do with it, and just to continue to make people happy. He also said that he was afraid because he didn’t want us to forget about him. Now, just seeing how much the channel and community have grown since then is so incredible. And now he lives in LA and does YouTube full time and is sooo close to 300k! And he still constantly reminds us of how much the community means to him, and how much he loves us, and it’s too sweet. I just love seeing people living their dreams, and I’m so fucking proud of him.
I don’t know, I’m kind of emotional today and this community means the fucking world to me, I love it to bits, and I couldn’t forget him if I tried.

“You’ll never truly understand a verse until something in your life makes you see it and appreciate it in a whole new way.”

I was feeling so down for the past week because of something. Today, i opened the Qur'an to a random page and subhanallah. Of all the surah’s in the Qur'an it could’ve opened to, and it opened to Surah Yusuf. And i found myself crying because of the ayaats i was reading.

Sometimes, things don’t go the way you wanted it to and it hurts. But you just have to find the strength to push the pain aside and remind yourself He is the best of Planners. And He will never leave you empty handed.

What is to come is better than what was.

“So patience is most fitting.”

[Surah Yusuf: 83]

anonymous asked:

I'm a closeted transgirl, and this morning I was home alone so I decided to practice my makeup skills. I did everything well, but I just felt undesirable and ugly. I have bad hair loss and I kept telling myself that I'll never find love and all those kinds of negative thoughts. But then I had a thought: Jeffrey wouldn't want me to think these kinds of things. They would remind me to love myself and the things that make me an individual. Afterwards, I felt gorgeous, so I wanted to say thank you.

You are beautiful
You are worthy
Our bodies don’t determine our worth. All kinds of bodies, with all kinds of hair are amazing and beautiful
I admire you for being brave and not choosing the darkness today
Thank you
💛💛💛

anonymous asked:

some otayuri fluff maybe? :)

Otabek loved Yuri a lot, but his leg was really starting to get numb.

“How long has he been asleep like that?” Victor asked, amused. They were over at the penthouse that Chris had rented for the week, a raging party with the international skaters in full swing. Otabek and Yuri hadn’t even been drinking, both completely exhausted from practice. They had found an unused couch in the corner of the room and Yuri had collapsed, promptly falling asleep on Otabek’s lap.

“About an hour,” Otabek murmured fondly, stroking Yuri’s hair, “You’d think the pounding music and screaming would wake him up, but…”

Victor smiled. “He’s always been a heavy sleeper. Comes from growing up around a bunch of loud screaming Russians.”

Yuri shifted in his sleep, a hand moving to rest on Otabek’s leg. His heart thudded at the sight of his boyfriend looking so small and vulnerable, despite his age. Victor bade him a quiet ‘goodbye’ before heading off, leaving the two of them alone. Otabek was focused on Yuri’s steady breathing, how his hands curled in his sleep, how each strand of hair moved whenever he would shift.

He was the most beautiful thing Otabek had ever seen.

They had gotten together a few years back during Yuri’s nineteenth birthday. Afterwards, it was a shitstorm of media, ducking from Yuri’s fangirls, and a wild ride of traveling back and forth between Russia and Kazakhstan. Otabek knew how lucky he was to be with Yuri, it stunned him every day that his boyfriend loved him as much as he did.

Yuri shifted again, causing the numbness in his legs to get worse. Deciding it was probably time Yuri awoke, he leaned down and kissed his boyfriend’s forehead softly, leaning down towards his ear.

“Yura,” he murmured, “Yura, it’s time to get up.”

Yuri grumbled in protest, blinking blearily as the party raged around them. He yawned-Oh my god so cute, Otabek thought-and sat up, groaning as he dropped his head on Otabek’s shoulder.

“How do all these assholes have this much energy?” Yuri complained, “They practiced as hard as we did.”

“No one practices as hard as you do,” Otabek laughed, kissing the side of Yuri’s face, “You went for hours today.”

Yuri rolled his eyes, swinging his legs over Otabek’s lap. “Yeah, and I’m fucking exhausted. Why did we come to this again?”

Otabek smiled, kissing his forehead. “Because, someone who shall remain nameless, ‘wanted to fucking rage.’”

“You should stop listening to me,” Yuri laughed, leaning on Otabek’s chest, “Half the things I say are bullshit.”

Otabek’s heart thumped as Yuri pressed against him and he was reminded again just how much in love he was.

“Nothing you say is bullshit,” Otabek replied, “You could be reciting ‘The Theme of King JJ’ in French backwards and I’d listen to it.”

Yuri’s eyes narrowed. “Beka, you’re sweet, but if you want to be in our bed tonight, do not mention JJ in relation to me ever again.”

Otabek laughed, reaching down and drawing Yuri into a gentle kiss, a real kiss. They forgot for a moment that they were in public, both melting into the sensations.

“Boys, break it up!” Christophe called from the corner, causing them to pull apart reluctantly, “Let’s keep it PG!”

“‘Keep it PG,’ he says,” Yuri snorted, “He’s half naked and riding a pole.”

Otabek laughed lightly, still a little breathless from their kiss. “Maybe later tonight we can bump up the rating, yeah?”

Yuri raised an eyebrow, smirking a bit. “Beka, you’re on.”

Otabek’s legs were still numb from Yuri’s weight being pressed onto him. But he found as they got closer, that he didn’t really mind.

Yacht love.

Authors Note: This was requested, “idk if you are taking requests for Harry sorry for bothering you if you aren’t, but could you write an imagine where the boys and Harry your boyfriend of 3 yrs rented a yacht like they always do and you go on it with them and Harry is being clingy (but in a cute cuddly way constantly holding your hand, arms around you, head on your shoulder,kisses,etc) and he barely even interacts with the boys because he is so drawn to being with you and they call him whipped but he doesn’t care bc he loves y/n.” Here is what I came up with, it is not the best, and it was pretty hard to include the boys’ but I tried. I hope you enjoy. Xx

Masterlist found HERE

To Enter to win tickets for Harry Styles IN Nashville TN, HERE



At first, you were sceptical about the idea of setting off on a yacht with Harry and his old band mates. Their hiatus has been a prolonged hiatus, lasting the last four and a half years, all of them going off and doing their own thing, starting families, starting solo music careers, living the life they all individually want.

It took a lot of convincing for you to agree to the outing, not for any reason but the fact that the boys’ have no reunited all together for anything other than music events as solo artists. They have cheered each other on from the sidelines, but never have they all hung out at once for anything other than music, there is always some sort of issue when a social gathering is brought up.

They decided to rent a yacht like old times, when things weren’t so rough, when they weren’t off doing their own things, they’d rent out a yacht and breathe, they’d have a few drinks, throw around some banter, and laughs. It was more of a ‘Boys’ outing more than anything. But, since Niall declared he was bringing his girlfriend, you gave in and complied.

You relax on the sun deck, soaking in the sun for a sun-kissed tone, Niall’s girlfriend doing the same as the boys’ do only God knows what, probably causing havoc below deck.

You feel the sun fade away, a shadow casting over you as you open your eyes, your boyfriend of three years standing over you, blocking the sun. “You are blocking the sun.” You comment, sitting up and lifting your sunglasses to rest on the top of your head, a habit that Harry managed to rub off on you.

“Mhm, you goin’ to lie here all day?” He raises a brow, smirking as you take the moment to admire his shirtless body, his toned abs, and his tattoo covered skin.

You shrug, a small grin etching on your lips, “maybe, you going to stand in the sun all day?”

“Maybe.” He smiles, leaning down and kissing you sweetly, the two of you being interrupted by a row of cheering. “Damnit,” Harry mumbles against your lips, moving away from you. You glance over and notice the boys joining on the sun deck, beers in their hands, sunglasses on heads.

“Did all of you copy the trend of wearing glasses on your head?” You question, “They are meant to cover your eyes.” You playfully fool around with them as they scatter around on the other sunchairs.

“Yes, Harry is the only one to wear sunglasses on his head.” Niall nods, gesturing to Harry as he continues to stand over you, obstructing the sun from your body.

“Harry, can I have the sun back, please?” You gaze up at him. With a sigh, he nods, sitting down at the end of your sunchair wanting to be close to you.

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I just want to remind you all today, in case no one’s told you.. This is so cheesy but I just want to remind you how beautiful and loved you are. I know that right now it may be a scary time to be yourself, but I just want to say that you’re so beautiful and your differences are so beautiful. I’m inspired by you and I support you, and in case no one has told you how beautiful you are, I love you.
—  Ariana Grande at her Dangerous Woman Tour in New York
Hidden Behind Glasses (Zach Dempsey x Reader)

Chapter Summary: You and Zach are kept after class to speak with your English teacher.


Originally posted by veronicsalodge

Part 2

Y/N P.O.V.

You dreaded 3rd period.

You were sitting at your desk, the first one in class as usual. It didn’t take long for more students to get inside the classroom, but when Zach and Justin entered, you practically shrunk into your seat. Pretending not to notice them, you stared at the surface of your desk. Justin already spotted you and tapped Zach to get his attention, nodding his head in your direction.

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Just wanted to say and quick hello, and that I hope you have had an absolutely wonderful day filled with beauty and growth! You did an amazing job today with everything that you’ve done, so please take a moment to be proud of yourself!

I Will Protect You.

Request from anon: Can I request a Bucky x reader? Reader is under the protection of the avengers because of an attempt on her life by hydra agents. So she’s kept at the compound with most of the team. While there, Bucky flirts and uses his old 40s charm on her cause it makes her blush. When she can’t sleep she meets him in the kitchen and he finally asks her out and they end up making out half the night.

Note: I really enjoyed writing this so thank you to whoever sent in the request! Oh and if anyone is wondering which sci-fi show is very briefly mentioned it is ‘Doctor Who’ :)

Bucky x Reader

Words:

Disclaimer: None of the GIFs used are mine so all credit goes to their creators <3

You could see right down the barrel of the gun that was being pointed at your face and although the men currently surrounding you were clearly communicating with one another you couldn’t make out a single word as the thumping of your heart filled your ears.

You should have been pleading with them to spare your life, doing something that would prevent them from pulling that trigger, but you were frozen to the spot and incapable of anything.

“Hail Hydra.”

Those two words were powerful enough to cut through the deafening thump of your heart and they were the last thing you heard before a gunshot sounded out….

                                                * * * * * * * * * *

Your scream rang out around the room as you shot up in your bed, sweat dripping from your brow, and your chest heaving with your unsteady breaths.

This was the fourteenth night in a row where you had suffered with nightmares from the attack on you by Hydra agents and they weren’t getting any easier to handle. The Avengers had saved your life that day but one of the agents had escaped, which meant that he was still out there and he could try coming for you again at any moment.

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All My Friends Are Heathens, Pt.5

Summary: In an alternate universe where monsters roam freely among humans, eight of these creatures group together under one roof. Their newest member, a dark vampire, comes to meet their reoccurring house guest who may be more than what she seems.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 4135
Genre: AU
Warnings: Mild language, sexual tension.
A/N: HEY IT’S BEEN MONTHS I KNOW BUT HERE WE ARE!! So remember how I lost the original 2000+ words I had written for Pt.5 before the file got corrupted? Well in this rewrite, I somehow doubled it so get comfy! Also, as a show of gratitude for your patience with me, I’ve been working really hard and I’ll be posting Pt.6 tomorrow and Pt.7 the day after! Three parts in three days, look at you! Just a heads up, Pt.8 will be the final update and then that’s it for this monster of a fic! I love you all so much and thank you for sticking around with me. ❤

P.S. I am such a little shit for extending the slow burn and I’m not even sorry about it…okay I’m really sorry, please don’t lynch me ILYOKAYBYE!

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 Prequel | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5Part 6 | Part 7 |

Originally posted by taliesyne

Originally posted by hoaxvault

[Previously]

“I’ll see you tomorrow, James,” you said, blushing at the way he smiled back. Admiring the way his lips still looked full and plump as he grinned, and the way his long lashes fluttered against his cheeks.

Bucky passed his tongue over his fangs as he watched you walk away, just one more day and he would have you again.

“I made a promise, didn’t I?”


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IN CASE NOBODY TOLD YOU TODAY:

You are valid

You are loved

You are wanted

I’m proud of you

I see you

Did you only get out of bed today? I’m proud of you

Did you get out of bed and get dressed? I’m proud of you

Did you get out of bed and eat something? I’m proud of you

Did you get out of bed, get dressed, and eat something? I’m proud of you

Did you do something so you could take care of yourself? I’m proud of you

That mask that you wear to protect yourself, I know why you keep it up, and its okay. I’m proud of you for being able to do that

Did you have a really bad day? You’re still alive and wanted. I’m proud of you for making it to the end of the day. Tomorrow may be better

Did you have a good day? You’re still alive and wanted. I’m proud of you.

Even if you had a total break down today and you were a wreck, I’m proud of you. You made it another 24 hours.