just the friday night lights things

“For me it is important to share my everyday life.” ~Sam Heughan

Sam and Cait - sharing everyday life.

Balfe:  … Oh, and ‘Friday Night Lights,’ that was a huge one for me,” with Heughan chiming in that the two of them watched “Friday Night Lights” together.

“Catriona [Balfe] and I hang out a lot.” 

“I can feel if she’s unhappy. I just feel it.” 

“Caitriona’s in New York and it’s snowing and she’s cold and miserable. Poor thing. I miss her greatly.”

“Sam was in L.A. filming something and sending pictures of him hanging out in beaches and stuff.”

“Yeah, we do hang out sort of personally as well.”

“But I never go home with my sword and prance around like I’m Laird off set do I ??? Not like others I know.”

“Late night celebratory macaroons.”

“I believe I did have your raw banoffee pie, Caitriona. It’s delicious.”

“And she’s always buying stuff, it’s so true.  … She also buys so many pieces of art work, and clothing.  She spends all her money online.” 

Sam: “I do sometimes do very early sessions, like sorta 4 o’clock or 5 o’clock.”                                                                                                 Cait: “Okay -  never 4 o’clock, okay. It’s always like 5, 5:30.”

Sam: “You can cook… can you?” [Cheeky grin]                                Caitriona: “Shut up, I’ve cooked for you before.”                                 Sam: “Yeah, she’s a really good cook.”    

“We were watching the Night Manager the other day.”

john told sherlock they should scare mycroft, and sherlock just went all in on that. like

yes john! you’re brilliant! i can disable his security system, and we’ll sneak in there in the middle of the night to set everything up, turn off all the lights, lock the doors, friday night is always movie night, so i’ll deduce the one he’s most likely to watch and splice some old home movies into it and add a few frames that say ‘i’m back’ 

ok but i was really thinking something more simple like

oh and what if we poke holes in the family portraits–always hated those things anyway–and rig up a system behind them to make them bleed, complete with a motion sensor of course, gotta make sure mycroft is there to witness it, wouldn’t want to set it off too early

don’t you think that’s a bit mu–

there has to be a child, too, of course, though i don’t know any children, well besides rosie, but she’s far too young to take part in this ruse, i mean she’s your child so she’s obviously far more intelligent than other children, but i think this might be beyond her current capabilities

well that’s

but i can find someone, oh and we’ll need a clown, obviously

oh obviously, why not a mime, too, for good measure?

don’t be ridiculous, john, mimes aren’t scary, but clowns, mycroft is terrified of clowns, has been for ages, so obviously there has to be a clown, just think of how much fun that will be, good thing i know just the person, but remind me to warn davies about the sword hidden in mycroft’s umbrella, oh and i need to take all the bullets out of the handle when we get to the house, wouldn’t want to make a proper mess, would certainly spoil the mood, this was an excellent idea, john, we’re going to have so much fun!

well, if it makes you happy…


“I like to do things that glorify being alone. I buy a candle that smells pretty, turn down the lights, and make a playlist of low-key songs. If you don’t act like you’ve been hit by the plague when you’re alone on Friday night, and just see it as a chance to have fun by yourself, it’s not a bad day.”

It Must Be Love

Based on the song by Ty Herndon

Originally posted by netflixandi

I just dropped her off I’m thinking, ‘Oh, what a night’ I oughta be flying But I’m sitting here at this green light I thought I was in control Though I knew where I wanted to go She’s got me turned inside out I’m wondering what it’s all about

Spencer waited at the green light, holding his chest, begging his heart to slow down. He just dropped (Y/N) off from their movie night. They were best friends, every Friday was movie night and he never missed it. Never. He couldn’t understand why he was feeling like this. He couldn’t stop thinking about how sweet her smile was, how nice she smelled.

He huffed and pulled out his phone, starting to drive again. When Morgan picked up Spencer started spouting the first thing that came to mind.

(Is she there in your dreams?) I don’t know, I can’t sleep (Is she breaking your heart?) Yeah, but isn’t it sweet? (Does she know how you feel?) It’s right on the tip of my tongue. (Are you walking on air?) Well, I’m sure feeling tall (Does she trouble your mind?) It’s no trouble at all. Oh, I don’t know But something tells me it must be love.

“I need help. Can you help me? I’m panicking and I just missed my turn- dammit.” He frowned, trying to pay attention to his driving.

“Woah, what’s wrong pretty boy? What’s happening?”

“I just dropped her off and I’m- my heart is beating so fast. I don’t know why, I can’t stop thinking about (Y/N)..“ Spencer pulled over, waiting.

Derek was laughing on the other end of the phone, “You can not be that dumb. Spence, you’re in love with her!”

“No- No I’m not. At least I don’t think so, we’re best friends!”

“Spencer, listen. It’s easy to tell. Do you dream about her?” He was being sarcastic.

“I can’t even sleep when I think about her!” He was blushing furiously at this point, “She’s just so wonderful and I wish we could hang out more..”

Derek laughed again. “Any good girl is gonna break your heart a little. Have you told her?”

“God, no! I mean, I want to, but..”

“No buts pretty boy. She’s got you all turned around, you’re flying high and unless you tell her you’re gonna fall hard.”

He sighed, starting his car again. “You’re right.. You’re always right. I’m going to tell her. Thank you.”

“Go get her, smarty pants.” Derek was smiling when he hung up, glad to help his friend.

I just missed my turn Guess I’m not thinking straight Oh, and what’s with this car It’s driving me back to her place I’m out here circling around I’ve already covered this ground These feelings just can’t be denied So what am I trying to decide?

Spencer sped down the road, hoping he could make it back before she went to bed.

When he arrived the lights had just flicked off, so he ran up to the door, knocking furiously.

“Spence?” She opened the door, rubbing her eyes.

He paused, taking in her adorable bugs bunny pyjamas and messy hair. “I need to talk to you.” She let him in and he paced around, biting his nails.

“Spencer?” (Y/N) touched his shoulder, jumping when he did.

“Listen, I… I love you. I mean, yeah. You’re beautiful and god you’re so nice and sweet and you make my heart skip when you smile, when I’m with you I feel incredible! I love you so much and I had to tell you..” Spencer looked away bashfully.

(Y/N) paused, surprised, then smiled. She gently took his hands, leaning up slowly to kiss him. “I’ve been waiting for you to confess.”

He wheezes, relieved, and laughs softly, pulling her into his arms for a crushing hug.

(Is she there in your dreams?) I don’t know, I can’t sleep (Is she breaking your heart?) Yeah, but isn’t it sweet? (Does she know how you feel?) It’s right on the tip of my tongue. (Are you walking on air?) Well, I’m sure feeling tall (Does she trouble your mind?) It’s no trouble at all. Oh, I don’t know But something tells me it must be love.

I don’t know, but something tells me it must be love.

a common workplace dilemma for my theatre:

us (the managers + smart employees): boss lady, this movie is going to be busy. it’s going to be big. please put it in #1

the gm, my boss: naw, do you guys really think it’ll be big?* it should be fine


the theatre: /sells out of both friday night shows because the auditorium is too small

gm: oh. you guys should tell me these things more

* - we have told her this about deadpool, finding dory**, lights out***, split***

** - not kidding


Thunder and Lighting

Everyone has that one thing they’re afraid of and for you, that’s thunder storms. Thankfully, you have Bucky to get you through it.


Warnings: I think a bit of swearing but really just a lot of fluff

Word Count: 1521

Title: Thunder and Lightning

Notes: Thank you all for reading! I needed a bit of caring Bucky in my life so here you go.

The storm started during the Friday movie night the team had every week. You were watching the latest Star Wars and so when the first rumble of thunder came the team assumed it was part of Stark’s surround sound. You knew better. The moment you heard the thunder your chest tightened and you squeezed your eyes shut. You took a deep breath, stood up and stared making your way to your room.

“I’m really tired guys,” you bullshitted as you rubbed your eyes, “I’m gonna hit the hay early tonight.”

“Ok,” said Tony, not taking his eyes off the screen, “whatever.”

Most of the team reacted the same way as you sneaked off to your room. What you didn’t notice was how Bucky frowned as you left, concern etched on his face. Steve picked up on his friends sudden shift in mood.

“Buck, what’s wrong.” He asked as he turned to face his friend.

“Nothing, just tired. I’m gonna head to bed too.” He lied, not looking Steve in the eye.

“Alright,” Steve said although he didn’t believe Bucky for a second. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Yeah. See ya punk.”

“Jerk,” muttered Steve as he turned his attention back to the film.

Bucky ducked his head and walked to the elevator. When it arrived, he clicked the button for your floor instead of his. Bucky wasn’t sure why he was doing this. He hadn’t been watching the movie despite everyone’s insistence that he catch up with pop culture. Instead he’d been watching you. Ever since he had come to the tower he’d had a crush on you. At first he wasn’t ready to admit it but as he learnt to be himself he realised that he’d fallen head over heels for you. He thought you were beautiful and loved to watch you do every day things. During the movie it warmed his heart when you lit up as the opening credits rolled or how you glared angrily at Rey for calling the Millennium Falcon “garbage” and saw you forgave her a moment later because he knew you thought her character was awesome. He’d noticed immediately when you demeanour changed. One second you were loving the film and the next you’d stiffened. You closed your eyes and took in a deep breath and that’s when he noticed the thunder. He knew you weren’t alright and wanted to make sure you were ok. That’s why he left the movie early.

The elevator dinged on your floor and Bucky stepped out. In the short elevator ride the storm outside had gotten much worse, the thunder rattled the glass and the lighting lit up the whole room. As he walked to your door he wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans. Shit, you made him nervous. When he got to your door he raised his hand to knock but paused just before doing so. He was about to turn back, having lost courage, when he heard a sob from inside your room. Buck took a deep breath and knocked on you door.

“y/n?” he called when you didn’t reply. Slowly Bucky opened the door to see you curled in a ball in the corner of your room. You’d pulled the blankets off your bed along with your pillows and had barricaded yourself in your corner. You hadn’t noticed Bucky’s entrance into your room as you tried to hold off your panic attack.

Bucky made his way over to you a knelt down in front of you. Your head shot up in fear when he placed his hand on your shoulder. You sighed as you saw it was Bucky and avoided eye contact, too embarrassed by your fear.

“Hey, y/n. What’s wrong?” Bucky asked as he settled himself down next to you.

“Nothing” you muttered quickly, “I’m fi-“

You were cut off by another blast of thunder. You flinched and screwed your eyes up. You tried to calm your breathing and clutched to your blanket so tightly that your knuckles were white. It pained Bucky to see you like this so he moved closer to you and tried talking to you again.

“Forgive me, doll. But I don’t believe a word you’re saying.”

You looked up a Bucky and saw nothing but sincerity and kindness in his eyes. That was the last straw and you broke into tears. The panic attack took a hold of you and your breathing became erratic. You looked ay Bucky in panic and on instinct he picked you up and pulled you into his arms.

“Hey, common doll. You gotta work with me here. Focus on my voice. Just focus on me, nothing else.”

You’d started to calm down and buried your head in Bucky shoulder and his top fast became wet with tears. Bucky knew he was getting through to you so he continued on.

“There you go. You’re getting there. Focus on me, focus on my breathing. Breathe with me. In. Out. There you go. You’re doing well, doll. Just keep breathing with me.”

You quickly calmed down as you breathed in time with Bucky. Once you’d calmed down enough, Bucky reached out for the blankets that surrounded the two of you and pulled them to cover you both comfortably. Bucky placed a pillow behind your head and one behind him as he settled down in your corner with you. You were still perched in his lap and as you’d calmed down enough you’d now realised exactly where you were and who you were with. To say you were embarrassed as you sat in the lap of your crush was a massive understatement. You went to move but Bucky stopped you as he wrapped an arm around your waist and forced you to stay where you were. You let out a sigh and relaxed into Bucky’s hold.

“There you go.” Encouraged Bucky as you calmed down. “You ok now, y/n? You gave me quite a scare.”

“Me, gave you a scare?” you queried as you looked up at Bucky.

“Yeah, doll. I was worried. Not a fan of storms huh?”

You looked at the floor and blushed. “I’ve never liked them. I know it’s silly, it’s just a storm but…”

Bucky cut you off with an almost angered expression. “Don’t apologise. You don’t need to.” His face softened as he looked at how you fiddled with the edge of the blanket. “Everyone’s scared of something. For some it’s the dark. For you it’s a storm. For me it’s my nightmares. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. To be scared, to have emotions is to be human. I’d be worried if you weren’t scared of something.” Bucky wasn’t sure why he told you that but it clearly calmed you down so he kept going.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked. You looked up at him in confusion. “Steve says it makes it easier if you talk about stuff. Makes you feel better. I know I’m a hypocrite for offering to listen as I refuse to talk but… I’m rambling aren’t I? I’ll shut up now.”

You giggled at that last part. You still flinched every now and then when thunder struck but you felt much calmer in Bucky’s safe arms.

“It’s ok.” You said, smiling up at Bucky, “It’s calming listening to you talk. I don’t know why I’m scared of storms, I just always have been. I had a difficult childhood and I guess they remind me of then.” You paused for a while and the two of you sat in a comfortable silence.

“Thank you for coming after me.” You added, blushing again. “I thought I’d hidden my fear so well.”

It was Bucky’s turn to laugh then. “You hid it well,” he answered, “I’m just good at reading people.”

You smiled as you snuggled further into Bucky’s shoulder. “Well thank you.”

“No problem doll. I’ll always be there for you. I promise. If you ever need anything, I’ll be there for you. At any time. You hear me. Whenever you need me.”

You looked up a Bucky innocently, your head still rested on his shoulder. “Thank you, Buck. You mean so much to me,” you admitted as you continued to look at Bucky.

“You mean a lot to me too, y/n.”

“If you do ever want to talk. About your nightmares I mean. I’m always there for you too.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Bucky replied as he smiled down at you. “Get some sleep,” he said. He kissed the top of your head lightly. You nodded and snuggled into his shoulder. With Bucky there to comfort you, you quickly fell asleep, despite the storm that still raged outside. Bucky fell asleep shorty after you, his head rested on yours

Ever storm since that one, Bucky came to your room and together you snuggled in the corner and waited out the storm. Bucky calmed you down from any panic attacks you had and in return you helped him after his nightmares. Everyone has that one thing they’re afraid of. You’re just glad you’ve got Bucky to help you through it. And he’s glad he’s got you.

Thanks for reading! I have an idea for a second part  to this (more focussing on the reader helping Bucky) so let me know if you want it! Love ya

Cough Syrup- Calum


Summary: Calum is gay.

“Life’s too short to even care at all, oh, I’m losing my mind losing my mind losing control”

Calum didn’t love girls. In fact, he didn’t even like them. They just reminded him of his adolescence filled with lonely friday nights and empty diner booths. None of which mattered anymore, now that  he and his band 5 Seconds of Summer were skyrocketing in fame. Calum’s life was actually perfect at the moment. He had fame, fortune, friends, and even a crush on a stellar guy he knew.

The thing was, nobody could know that Calum would rather be singing his band’s lovesongs to a boy with crazy hair and light pink lips than to any of the girls that threw themselves at him. So instead, he hid it. He went out and slept around with girls he felt no attachment to, and held his true feelings under the mask that fame had tied to him.

But then one day people found out.

The band was just out at a club in whatever city they had played that night, and Calum was practically blind drunk. All his thoughts felt delayed, and he couldn’t think about what was really happening around him. Before he knew it he had strayed from the company of his bandmates, and was wandering around the dance floor.

The beat of one of the radio’s meaningless rap songs surrounded Calum’s senses, fueling the adrenaline that was slowly replacing the sluggishness left from the alcohol. Soon he felt more excited than he had in awhile, and he was thinking about how he wanted one thing: a guy. Any guy he could find to put his hands on.

It only took a few moments for people to start surrounding Calum, most of which were overly made up girls with boobs pushed up to their noses’. Calum started to roll his hips to the beat, lettings the girls around him grind on him, their phones recording. Calum didn’t care though, because as he did so his eyes locked with a mysterious boy with thick lips and bad intentions.

Calum immediately danced away from the group, wincing as some greedy hands grabbed sensitive places. Moments later Calum was dancing near the boy he had saw, the boy inching closer and closer to Calum to the rhythm of the music. Calum smiled darkly as the boy’s body collided with his, the contact sending electric shocks through Calum’s aching body.

“Names, André,” The boy whispered against Calum’s ear, a hispanic accent rolling off his tongue.

Calum was instantly seduced, the large amount of beer in his system controlling his actions. One thing led to another, and soon they were both rushing out of the club, desperate to get somewhere private where their hands could roam where the eyes couldn’t see. In his drunken horny haze, Calum had forgotten who he was, and the reputation he had to uphold.

But it all came back to his mind when he stepped outside the club doors, the lights of cameras and the shouts of paparazzi filling his senses. He tried to escape the mob, but they had already seen him. The real him. The one was in love with boys, and sometimes just wanted to act upon this love.

The world knew Calum Hood was gay.

“These fishes in the sea they’re staring at me oh oh, Oh oh oh oh, A wet world aches for a beat of a drum, Oh”

Calum woke up in his hotel room, with a pounding headache. He groaned instinctively, realizing he had a hangover. He rolled over to find an empty bed, and was slightly surprised. Normally on nights out with the boys he came home with at least one random girl. Calum sat up, rubbing his eyes and reaching for his phone. He turned it on to find millions- no billions of notifications. There were texts from almost every person in his contacts list, including many from his management.

He sighed unlocking the phone and reading the messages. A confused look grew on his face as he was sent many links to news articles. He clicked on at random, to be met with a picture of himself and a random hispanic dude both of which had swollen lips and hickey’s littering their neck’s. Calum’s heart fell as the realization of what was happening started to sink in. He read some more messages from friends and even his sister, questioning whether it was true. It was like all hell had come crashing down on his head.

Everyone knew. Even twitter had blown up, many hashtags trending. Most of the fans were supportive, they’d always hope one of the band member were gay anyways. Calum smiled at all the positive comments, despite the tears of fear running down his cheeks. He always knew the fans would support him, even after keeping it a secret for so long.

Calum felt semi-confident about the situation now, and threw his legs over the bed in excitement. Now that the secret was out, he didn’t have anything to hide. It was like a burden had been lifted off his shoulders. He smiled brightly when he changed into a sweatshirt and shorts, heading downstairs to meet the boys at the hotel’s breakfast.

As soon as Calum reached the elevator, he felt his mood begin to fall. He was in the elevator with Ashton, and all he did was stare at Calum. Ashton turned away, staring at the floor as the elevator rode downwards, completely ignoring Calum’s existence. It was like Calum was some sort of alien that needed to be feared and ignored. When they both arrived at the table to eat breakfast with the rest of the boys, they acted no different. Luke stared down into his food, like it was the most interesting thing on the planet. Michael attempted to smile at Calum, but it looked more like a grimace. Breakfast was silent, and sullen which made Calum lose his appetite. He felt like a burden on them, something holding them back from talking to each other.

Finally Calum broke the silence, unable to handle it anymore.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, worry and fear lacing his voice.

“I don’t know man, you tell me,” Luke responded quickly, his voice cruel.

Calum was taken aback by Luke’s tone, and finally realized how angry everyone really was. Ashton’s fists were clenched around his glass, and Michael tapped his leg angrily.

“It was just some boy,” Muttered Calum, forcibly shoving some dry toast in his mouth.

Ashton snapped, his attention on Calum.

“Some boy that makes the fans think we sleep around like scumbags!” He yelled, throwing his hands in the air.

“You guys do the same thing with girls all the fucking time!” Calum fought back, recalling all the tabloids that had ever been published with some slutty girl on the boys’ hip.

“That different,” Muttered Luke, avoiding eye contact.

Calum scoffed, getting up from the table. He stormed off towards the hotel lobby, desperate for some air to clear his head. He heard footsteps come after him, but he ignored them. He pushed through the front doors of the hotel to be met with screams of fans and paparazzi.

Calum sighed annoyed, realizing for the second time in the last 24 hours that he was in fact a “celebrity”.

Calum was blinded by all the flashing lights, and all he could hear was the sounds of paparazzi shouting things at him. It was all blurring together and Calum felt a sense of panic filling his chest. However,the words of a particularly loud interviewer rang out, grabbing Calum’s attention.

“Is it true you are gay Calum?”

Calum heard himself let out a soft yes, causing all the sounds and flashes cease. It was like a spell had entranced everyone, and they stared at him with dead wide eyes, like fish. Calum looked around at everyone, expecting them to unfreeze and continue like in a movie.

But to his dismay they all stayed still, staring at him. Calum’s heart started to race, his eyes looking in every direction to be met with a pair staring right back at him. It was like a horror movie, but there was no way to turn it off. Calum’s breath began to come out fast and labored, like he was running out of oxygen. He felt like everything was closing in on him, like the eyes were slowly creeping closer and closer. Calum backed up against the door of the hotel, attempting to grab his bearings, but everything was spinning, the eyes swarming him like tiny bugs. His mind felt like it had melted, and the eyes no longer belonged to people, but were an animal of their own. They were in his hair and covering his feet, and they filled his mouth until he couldn’t breath.

Calum thought he was going to be suffocated by the flying eyes when a hand grabbed his, dragging him back into the hotel lobby.

“If I could find a way to see this straight, I’d run away, To some fortune that I, I should have found by now”

Calum stared at the ceiling of the hotel, his mind spinning. He gasped for breath, his hand clutching onto the one of the person who had grabbed him. It took a few minutes for Calum’s breathing to become regular, and his mind to slow down. He felt everything in his body calm and he turned to be met with the green eyes of Michael. He looked worried, staring at Calum as if he had a seen a ghost.

When Michael realized Calum had stabilized, he let go of his hand, backing up a bit. Calum felt a pang of hurt in his chest, but sat up slowly.

“What just happened?” Calum questioned, convinced what he just saw wasn’t real.

“I don’t know, you left angrily and next thing I know you’re pressed up against the hotel doors like a fish out of water or something,” Michael said, still weary of being close to Calum.

Calum stood up, regaining his grip on reality. He looked at Michael, a boy whom yesterday was his best friend. Michael looked concerned, but also scared. Calum wasn’t sure if he was scared for Calum’s health or scared of Calum.

“Are you scared?” Calum asked, walking closer to Michael.

Michael fidgeted a bit, his eyes focused on the decreasing space between them.

“I’m scared for your health yeah. You literally almost passed out there dude.”

Calum kept walking, so his face was mere inches from Michael’s. Michael looked incredibly uncomfortable, like Calum was going to rub off a disease on him.

“Say it to my face then,” Calum said, his eyes looking straight into Michael’s.

Michael backed away from Calum, silent. Calum let out a sigh, confirming his belief that he was scared. Scared of what, Calum still couldn’t understand, but he knew he was scared. Calum turned away from Michael, remembering why he had even gone outside in the first place.

This time, Calum went out the back of the hotel, with sunglasses and a thick beanie hiding his identity. He walked down the sidewalk of the city he still didn’t know the name of, admiring the plain beauties of his surroundings. He smiled as he saw couples in restaurant booths, and laughed at the mime desperate for money on the street corner. Calum liked how simple everything was around him, people just being people.

Calum’s thoughts wandered as he took in the city, to what could have been. Without the fame who was Calum Hood? Was he just a simple boy meant to work in a coffee shop his entire life? Or was he meant to travel the world, discovering the real meaning of why humans walked the earth the way they do. Oh, how Calum longed for a life without cameras and gossip.

He could see it in his mind as he walked. He would be an author, who instead of putting his feelings to songs, would put his feelings into books. He would tell stories of coffee shop romances, and of star crossed lovers who would do anything for one last kiss. Calum smiled at the idea. He wished he could turn back time, and do it all different. Live a life where he could be himself, and be free of judgement.

Calum wished he could just run away from it all and start again.

“Life’s too short to even care at all, oh, oh, I’m coming up now, coming up now out of the blue, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, these zombies in the park they’re looking for my heart, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, A dark world aches for a splash of the sun,”

Calum was broken from his thoughts and fantasies by spotting a park ahead. He walked towards it, beckoned by the sounds of dogs barking and children laughing. Upon entering the park Calum found a bench, and decided to sit and people watch. He hoped it would make him feel better, since his walk had definitely boosted his mood significantly.

Calum relaxed into the bench, his attention immediately being grabbed by some boys skateboarding. They laughed like nothing mattered to them in the world, and they didn’t care about the disapproving looks the adults around them were giving. Calum admired them, the way they didn’t care about judgement. Calum felt a surge of confidence race through him, and he walked over to the group.

“Hey can I try?” Calum asked, trying his best to hide his Australian accent.

The boys nodded and one handed him one of their skateboards. Calum got on it easily, his skills from grade school kicking in. He sped through the park, the other boys laughing and skating after him. A dopey grin spread across Calum’s face as the wind hit him. He didn’t seem to notice when the beanie fell off his head, and his sunglasses fell off his face. He stopped when he reached a pond on the other side of the park, thanking the skateboarders. They smiled and left, probably off to disappoint their parents or something.

Calum’s mood felt boosted as he stood in front of the pond, just reminiscing in the feeling of freedom that had washed over him. It was like a small taste of everything he had ever wanted, and he didn’t want to let it fade quite yet.

A tap on his shoulder made Calum turn, to be face with a girl who looked about his age.

“Hey, are you Calum Hood?” She asked, batting her eyelashes.

“Um, yeah,” Calum said, bracing himself for hugs and pictures.

Instead the girl laughed cruelly before responding, “How’s it feel to have destroyed your band because your a fag.”

Calum was taken aback by what the girl said, angry at her words.

“I’m not a fag,” Calum said, disgusted.

“Oh did I hurt your poor gay feelings?” The girl sneered.

Calum felt rage bubble in his veins. He hated this girl, and her stupid slurs. It was a new feeling to Calum, the feeling that he just wanted to crush her small head in his muscular arms. It blinded his judgement, and without think he lunged at her, tackling her to the ground. He threw a few punches to her small frame, before stopping abruptly. He met eyes with the girl, whose nose was red and had blood dripping from it. She looked so afraid of him, just like Michael had. Calum climbed off her, ashamed of what he had just done.

He saw people starting to stare again, this time their bodies moving slowly towards him, like zombies. Calum felt his brain turning to putty again, and heart started to race. He turned, afraid of himself and the people around him, and ran back towards the city. He pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt, having lost the beanie and tried to blend with the crowd of people sitting on the sidewalk. Calum walked for a while, trying to control his breathing. He couldn’t understand anything anymore. He knew there were haters out there, he’d always had them.

Why did it hurt so much more now?

“And so I run now to the things they said could restore me, Restore life the way it should be, I’m waiting for this cough syrup to come down”

To say Calum felt bad was an understatement. He barely knew who he was anymore. He had lost his best friends, had completely broken down twice, and punched a girl within the last couple of hours. On top of all that, it had started to downpour, and Calum didn’t have a clue where he was. He sighed, trying to pull his hoodie tighter around him, trying to keep his now shivering body somewhat warm. After walking for about an hour, he gave up and dunked into a random store. He was met with what looked like a pharmacy, but it was completely empty except for a middle aged man who sat behind a register.

“Can I help you with something?” The man asked, a bored expression on his face.

Calum shrugged, walking over to where the guy stood.

“I don’t know anymore, my entire body feels like a sack of rocks.”

The man let out a dry chuckle, reaching for a bottle from the display in front of him.

“Judging by the sound of your raspy voice, you have a cold. Here’s some cough syrup, but be careful dude– an overdose of this will fry your brain”

Calum took the bottle turning it over in his hands. Now that he thought of it, he did feel an uncomfortable tingling in his throat. He paid for the cough syrup, taking it and heading to the nearest motel he could find. He couldn’t be bothered with finding the hotel anymore anyways.

He checked into a rundown motel that smelled of mold and sweat, and sat on the stiff bed staring at the wall. Calum’s body ached of fatigue and sickness, and all he really wanted was to sleep for a very long time. He took some of the cough syrup, pouting his lips at the tangy taste of cherry it left in his mouth. Calum hated cherry. He tried to lay down, his body tired but couldn’t get his mind to quiet down. All he could think about was the things he had seen today. The people staring at him like dead fish, the fear in Michael’s eyes, and the people that looked at him like zombies.

Each image flashed through his head like a movie, every time it repeated worst than the last.

Fish, Eyes, Zombies.

It was like a chant his brain was making. It made his head pound to the rhythm his heart was beating, and he couldn’t stop it. Calum laid on the motel bed completely numb, wishing his brain would just shut up. All he wanted was for it to stop, because the more he thought about it, the more he hated himself. He hated how the paparazzi stared at him like he should be ashamed of himself. He hated how the people in the park stared at him, like he was deranged and crazy.

Most of all, he hated how the boy who he called his best friend, who he had loved since he was 14 years old, and who he wrote every single damn love song about, couldn’t even look him in the eyes without fearing him. Fearing Calum.

Calum felt like a monster, someone that was dangerous and couldn’t be controlled, and it consumed his every thought.

“One more spoon of cough syrup now, whoa. One more spoon of cough syrup now, whoa.”

Calum sat up, his eyes practically blinded by the pain he felt in his head. He only had one objective in his mind, shutting his brain off. He wanted it all to stop. He wanted to stop thinking and feeling.

He didn’t want to be alive anymore.

Calum reached aimlessly for the cough syrup, his hands gripping the bottle tightly when he found it on the bedside table. He unscrewed the cap haphazardly, drinking as much of it he could before his mind started blanking and stopping. He body twitched painfully, and the bottle fell from Calum’s shaking hands, shattering on the floor.

Calum forced his body to lay back on the bed, his eyes staring up at the ceiling as waves of pain washed over him like tidal waves. The pain soon ceased though, and everything felt heavy. Calum stared upward, realizing that he wasn’t only shutting down his mind, he was shutting down his body.

He was dying.

Calum didn’t care though, in fact he felt relieved.

Afterall, what’s the point of being alive, if you can’t even love?


Bug of the Day

It’s another Fly Day Friday!

I’m not even sure why I snapped a photo of this fly at the light the other night, I usually ignore these things because they are really hard to id (and I still have no idea what this is beyond Calyptratae, which is just under Order Diptera…maybe it is Anthomyiidae?).

But then, when I had the photo up on my computer screen, I saw the most amazing thing: a pseudoscorpion attached to the fly’s wing! A PSEUDOSCORPION! I haven’t seen one for decades. Very cool. From what I have read, the relationship between fly and pseudoscorpion is phoretic, meaning that neither one is physiologically dependent on the other for survival - the pseudoscorpion (the “phoront”) is just hitching a ride.

Everything Has Changed- Jack Gilinsky Imagine

A/N: I just randomly thought of this so I decided I’d make it into an imagine. Hope you enjoy! Find all my Imagines/Fan Fictions here: (x)

“They left us alone, the kids in the dark, to burn out forever or light up a spark.” You danced around your room as you unpacked your things. You had just gotten back to Omaha from New York. You received an internship with Vogue Magazine and had been living in New York for the past two years. You had been back for a couple of days and hadn’t really had time to see anyone. You were sure there was a party somewhere but you were so tired and desperately needed to unpack, so that’s exactly how you spent your Friday night.

As your IPod went to change the song, you heard something hit your window. You waited a couple of seconds before you heard it again. You opened your curtains, looked out the window and saw Jack standing in your front lawn. You stood there staring at him as you thought about the last time you saw him. You two had gotten into the biggest fight ever before you left for New York and you were sure he’d never want to see you ever again after the things you said to him. You have always liked Jack and he knew that but he continued to flirt with you and lead you on only to hook up with a sluttier girl. You finally lost your temper and went off on him and that was the last time you two had spoken in two years.

“Jack?” You said, as you opened your window. You watched as he stumbled backwards, trying to look up at you. So your instincts were right. There was a party somewhere and you knew Jack had attended it. “What are you doing?”

“It’s all your fault!” He screamed at you. You had absolutely know idea what he was talking about since you hadn’t spoken or seen him in two years. You let out a sigh before closing your window and heading downstairs. You made sure to grab your keys since you knew you would end up driving Jack home after he explained to you what was going on.

“Say that again.” You said, walking towards him. You really had no time for drunk Jack but apparently there was something he needed to say to you.

“It’s your fault.” He said, again. You waited for him to continue but because he was so drunk he couldn’t even focus. You took his arm and led him towards your car before trying to get him into it. “Leave me alone.” He said, trying to get out of your grip.

“Just sit.” You said, pushing him into the car. Driving to his house was like traveling down memory lane. You’ve been there so many times, you could probably draw a map on the back of your hand. You and Jack have been friends since kindergarten and in high school, you two were like glue. But the summer before grade 12, you headed to New York for your internship and that was the end of your friendship.

As you arrived at Jack’s house, you helped him out of the car and led him towards his room. You looked around the room you had been in many times but it didn’t look the same. Every picture of you had been taken down and replaced by others. You felt as if you were just another person in Jack’s life…instead of his best friend. You walked over to his desk and saw a picture of him kissing a girl. He had a girlfriend…and it wasn’t you.

Jack came into his room after changing into his pajamas and laid down on the bed. You pulled the blankets over him and made sure he was ok before heading towards the door.

“It’s your fault.” He said, again. “She dumped me because you came back.” You looked over at the picture on his desk one more time and finally understood why he was this drunk. “I wish you never came back. I hate you.” He said, before turning onto his side and falling asleep.

Those words hit you like a ton of bricks. You knew he wouldn’t want to be friends with you again after the way you two left things but you never, in a million years thought he would ever hate you. You thought the connection you two had was stronger than that. You headed home, trying to hold back the tears but as you entered your half-unpacked room, the tears came flooding down your face.

Song: Kids in the Dark by All Time Low

Felicity Smoak & the Wheelchair

Watching Arrow for the past 3 weeks, I just wanted to say a few things about Felicity’s wheelchair arc, how great it is for Felicity and those who are facing or have faced similar challenges, and touch upon the fandom’s response as a whole. 

When we all first found out that Felicity was definitely going to be paralyzed from the waist down, I had my fears along with a lot of other fans. I simply didn’t think the show was going to do this arc justice like Friday Night Lights did justice to Jason Street’s paralysis. But I decided to wait and see how the writers were going to handle this arc, but I understood why some were still wary of it all.

So far, watching episodes 10-12, I’m glad to say that the writers have proven me wrong because the writers have given Felicity an arc that’s so unique that it exemplifies a different kind of strength, an emotional and mental strength that’s unparalleled, a strength that isn’t easily compromised, and a strength that inspires the people around her.

There is so much good coming out of this arc that I think some people forget how powerful this storyline can actually be in further defining Felicity Smoak and setting her story and herself apart from other characters.

Not only is it an exemplary way of showing the strength of Felicity Smoak, this arc gives representation to people who face similar circumstances. This is something that’s incredibly rare for people in wheelchairs to have which makes this arc all the more special. Because the show is telling viewers that people, especially women, in wheelchairs are as strong and badass as people who aren’t. People who are in wheelchairs aren’t less than people who aren’t. It’s an incredible thing for the writers to give this minority a gift in letting a fan favorite character go through similar issues that they’ve probably have dealt with at one point in their lives.

But while I’m glad the writers have proven me wrong in how they’ve been handling this arc, I’ve grown uncomfortable with some reactions to Felicity’s arc and I want to explain why some of the comments (even though they probably come from a good place) I’ve seen have been rather callous. And to be fair it’s not solely from people who love Felicity, these callous comments are also from people who hate her too and would do anything to shut her or Olicity down. Let me elaborate:

Felicity has to walk again so she can walk down the aisle…

  • There are so many people who roll down the aisle instead of walking. That doesn’t make the whole wedding ceremony any less beautiful. It’s damaging to say that Felicity has to walk down the aisle because it implies that rolling down the aisle is less special and that’s thoroughly not the case.

Felicity has to walk again so we can see her be a part of Olicity stunts and go into the field…

  • While Olicity stunts are fun, I simply don’t understand this statement because that’s pretty much what Olicity stunts are. Fun. Wouldn’t you much rather have an arc that exemplifies Felicity’s emotional/mental strength? Wouldn’t you rather see Felicity have a unique arc that isn’t comparable to the other masked heroes on the show?
  • Don’t you think that representation for people in wheelchairs is more important than Felicity doing some fun stunts?
  • Don’t you think Felicity is stronger as a character going through this than she would be going out into the field doing stunts?
  • And I understand that the reason why people want this is because they don’t want Felicity to be limited and want to see her do more, but why not challenge the stunt crew/writers to THINK of a way Felicity could be in the field whilst in a wheelchair instead of asking for a cure?

Felicity has to walk again because [insert reason here]…

  • To say that you want Felicity to walk again ASAP for whatever reason (whether you’re bored of the arc or you just want to see her in the field) is incredibly inconsiderate to the people who are in wheelchairs enjoying this arc right now. Can you imagine how they’d feel reading comments like these? As though having a wheelchair is a burden that you can’t even bother to deal with?  
  • After the writers gave themselves an out in 411, we all knew that Felicity isn’t always going to be in that wheelchair forever. So what I don’t understand is why people can’t be patient and let the people who are enjoying this arc enjoy it in the mean time? Why does she have to be magically cured right away? Why would you want the show to take away that brief moment of representation that’s so incredibly rare for people in wheelchairs?

Regarding Oliver/Felicity’s sex life and the issue of children…

  • Oliver and Felicity’s relationship is beautiful with or without sex. It does happen to be that paralyzed people can and do enjoy healthy and pleasurable sex lives, so educate yourselves on this matter before making judgements about it. Please don’t panic over the fact that the disabled woman on screen’s sex life is going through some changes.  
  • I’ve seen the point of children be brought up. Again, paralyzed people can have biological children - it could be dangerous, but it’s possible. That’s just to begin with. But even if Felicity can’t biologically have her own children anymore, that does not destroy Olicity’s relationship in any way! Two people can love each other without having children by choice or not by choice, having children is not the be-all end-all of relationships. Also, we still can see Olicity babies, because they could easily adopt which isn’t a secondary or less desirable choice to pursue in reference to having kids. 

Making fun of Felicity/Olicity because apparently they won’t have sex anymore (this is to all you haters)…

  • Shut up. And don’t be an asshole. People in wheelchairs are perfectly capable of having sex. It might be a little different but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. 

It is important to think before we comment on such matters, otherwise you end up hurting the people who genuinely have a vested interest in this arc because it relates to them far more than you can imagine.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to want more for Felicity. I’m saying that because this arc is most likely to be transient, why not respect the arc first before asking for Felicity to walk again? Why not respect and be happy about what this arc is giving us instead of focusing on what it isn’t? Because this arc is giving us a hell of a lot more than I anticipated. It’s giving us a stronger version of Felicity than I ever imagined seeing. I am proud of Felicity Smoak because she’s been dealt a crappy hand so far but she’s doing her best in dealing with it. I’m proud of Felicity Smoak because she isn’t pitying herself, instead she’s doing her job and still saving the city. I’m proud to see just how strong she has become over the years and see how much stronger she’s yet to become in going through this.

Felicity Smoak is an amazing woman, and a wheelchair isn’t going to stop her from achieving amazing things. I for one am looking forward to seeing how the show deals with her arc in episodes to come. I hope all of you are too, because this is something special. Something that will define Felicity for the rest of her life.

I’ll probably get a LOT of heat for this post. I don’t care. But this is just something I wanted to get off my chest. 

Also I’d love to thank @honorthedeadbyfighting who is inspiring as hell and helped me write this post. It’s people like her who deserve to be represented because she is amazing. And to be represented by Felicity Smoak?! I’m just so happy for her.

*Gif by @punchdrunkdoc


I like to do things that glorify being alone. I buy a candle that smells pretty, turn down the lights, and make a playlist of low-key songs. If you don’t act like you’ve been hit by the plague when you’re alone on Friday night, and just see it as a chance to have fun by yourself, it’s not a bad day.

don’t imagine steve and bucky dancing to it don’t mean a thing in a brooklyn club where no one asks questions and no one gets answers late on a friday night with low lights just barely piercing the haze of cigarette smoke, dirty smirks playing along their lips, a teasing challenge in their eyes as they push and pull against each other, spinning each other around before pulling back close again, bucky’s voice dripping pure brooklyn when he finally gets steve in close again, all the fellas are lookin’ at you, stevie, can you see?, and steve just kind of swallows and looks at him, spins him around again and squeezes their hands, tongue flicking out over his lips in a way that make bucky’s eyes flash dark, but im only looking at one fella ‘round here, buck, don’t ya know?

dont do it you’ll be forever ruined

just another boring and lonely friday night alone so come send me any of the following:

• would you rathers!!!
•ask me questions (astrology or not idec if they’re uncomfortable)
• ask me for advice (I’m good with this shit)
• tell me what makes you happy & tell me what makes you sad
• tell me about your day or crush
•tell me what you like about yourself!!!
•or let me tell you what I like about you bc I bet you’re amazing
• send in your placements for dark/light side or hogwarts house
• fmks (characters, people or signs)
• tell me 3 things you associate me with and i'l say whether it’s true or not
• A N Y T H I N G


#tbt Taylor for GQ Magazine photos by Nathanial Goldberg

GQ: Do you like Texan fashion?

Taylor Kitsch: It’s just real. It’s comfortable, it’s gritty, it’s not flashy, it’s blue-collar. I have like 20 snap-up shirts in my closet, and I never, never would have thought before FNL would I have had that.

GQ: Are there other Texan things you’ve gotten into?

Taylor Kitsch: I’ve always been a big country guy. There’s a lot of Texas artists—Randy Rogers, of course, and Pat Green come to mind. There’s some watering holes within Austin I love. A good old rodeo never hurt anyone. And those Texas sunsets… I work a lot in Africa: Texas and Africa have the best sunsets on the planet, that I’ve ever seen.