@markiplier thank you doing that video about taking the ADD test thing you showed me that I may in fact have a some degree of it.
I even talked to my dad about me having it later on today and he said that I had been tested 5 or so years ago and that we can get myself tested again, if I wanted.
So thank you for showing me something about myself that I didn’t know I hope that because of this that I can get help that I desperately need. Let’s just hope that I can still be tested at my age, which is now 22.
This is my new strategy for white people who ask "Do you work here?"
I can’t tell you how many nice (and not-so-nice) white women have walked up to me in a store to ask me where something is, how much something costs, or to otherwise find out information she should be getting from an employee who MUST BE ME because I am a brown person nearby on the salesfloor. Nevermind whether I have on an overcoat, I’m wearing headphones, or I have a complete lack of nametag, apron, or company t-shirt, I still get asked all the time “Do you work here?”
Before, my standard response was to pause for just enough beats to make her uncomfortable and then say, “No I don’t. What about me made you think I work here? And please be specific.” Face crack. Every single time.
Thanks to a friend’s comment thread on the Internet, I have a new tactic.
Pretend you do work there!! It’s brilliant. Observe.
White Woman: How much is this shirt? Me: The sign is right there. Can you not read it? White Woman: I was just making sure to see if it was on sale. No need to be rude. Me: No need to be stupid. The sign has the price. The tag has the same price. Therefore, that’s the price. Why are you bothering me with this? White Woman: Well I never! I need to speak to the manager! Me: Fine, so do I. I don’t even like this store. [we march to customer service] White Woman: I’d like you to fire this employee immediately. He was SO RUDE and I’m going to take my business elsewhere unless he is fired right now! Manager: I don’t think – White Woman: [”I was told by Applecare” voice] YOU DON’T THINK!? I’M CALLING CORPORATE! Me: And say what? That a perfect stranger with no nametag, apron, company ID, or any other sign of being an employee was mean to you in a store? Susan I don’t even work here. I just felt like making you look like the ass you clearly are. Have a nice day.
Like…I’m finna go shopping RIGHT NOW just to test it out. I’ma put on my big obnoxious hipster headphones just so there’s no reason whatsoever someone would think I’d be on the clock, and I’ma casually walk through a store and just wait. And I happen to be wearing black jeans and a black jacket, which is the unofficial NYC uniform of fast-fashion retail. And H&M is like three blocks away too…
Tan skin rippled across taut muscles, delicately framing the sinewed shape of lean, strong arms that glistened with beads of sweat mixed with dirt.
“D’you get a new landscaper, Nick?” you asked your friend, continuing to watch as the man knelt over a flowerbed while yanking out weeds. He tossed it aside into a bucket for clippings, and as if he felt your gaze on him, he turned around and spotted you standing at the window. Catching the way you straightened, affirming that you had been staring at him, he chuckled with a smirk, wiping his damp brow with the back of his hand and turned back to his task.
“Hmm?” Nick asked, coming out of the fridge with two beers and handing one of them to you. He caught sight of your shy expression and the man working hard out in his garden, nodding as he understood your question. “No, that’s Harry. He owns the company, but I guess they’re understaffed since Harry’s covering for Marcus while he’s on holiday. We hang out sometimes–he’s pretty chill. Watch romcoms together. He’ll be hangin’ around after he’s finished.”
You were only half listening as your attention fell back to the man—Harry, as Nick had said—watching his back curve perfectly as he struggled with a stubborn weed, the hem of his florescent yellow t-shirt riding up to expose more tanned skin and more sweat.
“Alright, then,” Nick continued, with an annoyed yet amused smile as he took a sip of his beer. “Let’s head outside so you can enjoy the view.”
“Sure,” you agreed without thinking about his comment. Head in the clouds, you followed him toward the sliding glass door that led out to the patio, stepping halfway through before realizing what he said. “Hey!”
“What?” he laughed. “Should I have added, more than you already are?” he teased. You had to laugh because of course he was right, and honestly you didn’t mind removing the layer of glass between you and this gardener from the heavens.
You: lol it’s just an AP test
Me, an intellectual: Now we are coming upon the biggest fight of our lives, we are preparing for war and it’s every man for himself. Not everyone will make it out of here with a passing score, and that’s just reality. We shall all fight, and while we lose some of you guys, it was an honor learning with you. God speed, soldiers, God speed.