“I’m just a thrill to you, arent I?” he asked, his eyes moving between the other’s dark eyes. “A passing craze."
A long drag from the smoke. Joaquin flicked the cigarette, the ash dropping to the floor by his feet, scattering in the air.
"Answer me.” Kevin demanded, the joyful edge that usually accompanied his voice replaced by something else. "Answer me.“ he said again, perhaps this time a little less demanding, and a little more desperate.
Joaquin’s head titled down, refusing to look at the other’s face. He took another drag, chest heaving, and released the smoke slowly, still silent.
"You can’t just leave me hanging. I’m not some toy, you know? You used me, and I’m worthy of answers.” he said, stern. Serious. Hurt.
Joaquin wanted to say that no, he wasnt. He was worthy of so much more than answers. That he was worthy of nothing but honesty and genuine love. But he didn’t. Instead, he tossed the smoke aside. It hit the wall and fell, slowly dying out on the ground.
“I-” he started, unsure of how to continue. It was true. He used Kevin for his dad. But he didn’t really have a choice, did he? He was part of a machine. He wasnt just himself. He wasnt just Joaquin, who would’ve given Kevin all his heart and more. He was a Serpent, whose hands are rough and his heart isn’t owned by him. Who is not a human being.
“You should go.” he finally said, lifting his conflicted eyes from his worn out boots and to Kevin’s soft eyes. What else was he supposed to say? The truth? His feelings? These privileges were left for other people.
Kevin stared at him for a moment, and then laughed. Joaquin wanted to cover his ears. “Youre joking.” Kevin said, taking a step forward, a bewildered, angry smile still on his face.
Joaquin wanted to punch him. To knock sense into this gorgeous boy who should have never gotten into this mess of a life in the first place. “Go. Find yourself some straight As quarterback and live a normal life. I was just using you. Theres nothing for you here.” he said, taking a step back, and felt like he wanted to break his own teeth saying things like that to Kevin. Here he was again, just giving Kevin more lies. He really couldn’t be who Kevin wanted.
“I-” Kevin tried to speak. This time, it was his turn to find no words. “I don’t believe you.” he decided, pulling that determined face Joaquin liked so much. “You can’t fake that.” he said, taking another step forward and motioning at the space between them with his hand. “And I don’t want a straight As quarterback. I want you.” he added, as if it made all the difference.
Joaquin took a step back, unable being this close to Kevin. "Well, we can’t get what we want, Kev, can we?!“ he finally said, his temper rising, his brows knitting over his narrowed eyes. "Not all of us get to do and feel what we want to do all the time.” he said, glaring up at the taller teen. He hoped Kevin would leave. That he’d go and get over Joaquin and be happy and safe. Because the word is harsh and cold and people don’t always do good things.
Kevin seemed to understand something. His eyes searched for something in the Serpent’s eyes. Something Joaquin didn’t know, but Kevin seemed to find.
The silence between them was suddenly filled with a new feel. Kevin’s face hardened with a decision he made in his mind.
Joaquin didn’t have time to think what could it possibly be, before the taller one closed the distance. His large hands gripped Joaquin’s face with a new force, and his own nose stopped an inch from Joaquin’s. His intense stare moved from one brown eye to the other and Joaquin found himself not wanting Kevin to go. His cold fingers somehow snuck to wrap around Kevin’s torso, and he didn’t know who moved first, but suddenly their mouths crushed together, their chests pressed, their eyes closed.
Their lips moved hungrily, expressing everything they wanted to say but couldn’t. Their tongues fought a battle between them and their breaths passed between their open mouths, mingled. Together.
Kevin pushed them back, against the wall. Joaquin took control again, turning them over and pressing Kevin’s back to the stone. He kissed and sucked and bit, trying to convey to Kevin everything. Trying to explain. To apologize. To beg. To get closer.
Maybe, Joaquin would think later, maybe their story wasnt doomed to end. Maybe love was enough to hold them together like that, after all.
[A/N - its been a real long while since I last wrote any fanfic. Tell me what you think! ]