just take this shit to hell

anonymous asked:

Zerf could have stopped all this shit from happening if he had just asked for the dragon slayers help to take down Acnologia. Hell even ask Irene and God Serena to convince them. Then they wouldn't need a stupid war in the first place. Zerf wanted Fairy Heart hoping it would take down Acnologia it wouldn't have done nothing considering Acnologia is immune to magic. Yet dragon slayer magic combined killed him. All fairy sphere did was freeze his body in place. So that acnologia couldn't move.

I guess he assumed that even Dragon Slayers wouldn’t be any use against Acnologia. To be fair, he did live through a generation of Acnologia running rampant, so that belief might not have been totally unfounded. He could have at least tried, though. 

God Serena could have used his position on the council to recruit the Slayers, if he hadn’t defected so spectacularly. Irene could’ve made an army of wizards with dragon slaying enchantments. Buffed the Slayers. All sorts of things! Instead we got a war we didn’t need (there was literally no reason for a war, my god…) and a timetravel plan that… well, Zeref could have walked through that door at any time if he hadn’t done the obligatory showdown with Natsu.

Zeref’s an idiot, is what I’m saying. 

the dumb fucks at blizzard decided that somehow, bastion was fucking useless, completely ignoring that the reason people generally don’t use him is because most players have some measley iota of respect for other people and he’s a garbage dump of a character NOT because of how useless he is but because of how utterly STUPID it is to play against him and makes it fun for no one

they decided that this walking gun was only not being played because nobody saw any practical uses for him as is, even though every single ten year old and their grandmother i’ve gotten locked in with has known that the strategy of shoving a mercy so far up this gun’s ass and putting the most senile reinhardt in front of them WORKS and it’s so painfully STUPID for both teams

but no, not only was bastion and his self-healing, infinite bullet-spitting ass somehow useless, they had to make him 

  • have 100 bullets added to his already hefty 200 magazine size, allowing him to spray for a few seconds MORE after he’s already decimated your whimpy ass
  • this chump fuck can heal himself while running away like the little coward he is instead of sitting there and receiving the death he deserves, allowing him to heal, run off somewhere, and thanks to his now conveniently larger magazine size, kill you with 25 bullets instead of 20!
  • what’s more, his healing is goddamn unstoppable. if you damage him, he just keeps fucking healing. it’s like dealing with roadhog, but at least i can feel something for roadhog, because he’s not a garbage can robot
  • and in case this wasn’t enough, this piece of shit is 33% more harder to kill because he takes less damage. say hello to teams exclusively laid out to protect their bastion overlord, that idiot fucking robot, and say goodbye to any semblance of love you have for humankind as a whole 

‘bastion should now be stronger and more flexible now, you’re welcome’. go to the trash compactor you smelly fucking hunk of junk. fuck you jeff kaplan. go to hell and take your garbage robot gun with you

TFP characters as dril tweets
  • Optimus Prime: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT
  • Ratchet: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: “theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron”
  • Bumblebee: 1st grade: Mastered. 2nd Grade: MAstered. 3rd Grade: Mastered. 4th Grade: Heres when they start trying to trick you 5th Grade:This ones hard
  • Arcee: strongest blade in the world, howeve,r it is so fragile as to shatter when handled by any force other than the delicate touch of a lesbian
  • Bulkhead: i fear my tropical fish no longer respect me after i accidetnally stumbled backwards & smushed my ass hole right up against their $3000 tank
  • Wheeljack: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
  • Cliffjumper: priest plugs my coffin in at the end of the funeral. “MILLERTIME” lights up in neon on the side, desecrating my corpse & sending me to hell
  • Smokescreen: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. I hoot and holler out of the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
  • Ultra Magnus: Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You are all blocked. None of you are free of sin
  • Jack: yes trolls. unlike you, i have a brain. its called a " JOB "
  • Raf: downloading shit loads of counterfeit papa john coupons through unsecure wifi net works
  • Miko: DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, old man
  • Jane Darby: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Fowler: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to stop tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Megatron: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infant
  • Stascream: I just looked up the stats and the number of meaningful relationships ive formed is less than the number of public restrooms ive Screamed in
  • Soundwave: im the guy who airbrushes the nipples out of pro wrestling ads. i make $85k a year. but i have a secret *removs shades to reveal nipple eyes
  • Knockout: I put years of hard work into getting my torture degree at torture college & now everyones like “oh tortures bad” , “its ineffective” fuck off
  • Breakdown: my grave is just a huge tv displaying videos of me doing parkour in hell and it makes all the other graves look like shit
  • Arachnid: i will tell you this right now: I'm from hell. Im highly fucked up. Ive been known to say rude things and watch the carnage unfold brutally
  • Shockwave: i have absolutely zero interest in friendship, i have absolutely zero interest in jokes, i am simply here to collect data and earn respect.
  • Predaking: please bring your rats to the new castle flea market so I may bless/heal them. ill be sitting in a lawn chair wearing a stolen priest outfit
  • Dreadwing: (the trolls watch in astonishment as the milk shake they threw at me flawlessly bounces off of my head wwith minimal pain and mess involved)
  • Unicron: *all horrors begotten by the desire of man flash before eyes* woha! this is awkward *the cries of millions suffering echo* Damn That's Weird

stop taking pictures or he’s gonna get grumpy 

dating peter parker would include...

Dating ((Tom Holland)) Peter Parker Would Include… || Peter Parker x Reader

a/n: not like my usual imagines but i thought this would be fun! :-) also this is pretty dumb but i enjoy it!! SORRY THIS WAS LONG BUT I HAD FUN and i didn’t want to leave too long of a break before the next imagine


  • before you were dating though peter would’ve been so scared to even approach you tbh
    • “there she is, go talk to her! hey (Y/N)!”
    • “oH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE–oh hi (Y/N)!”
  • and then, when pete finally got the balls to ask you out, he would almost cry out of happiness when you said yes
  • like when you say yes, peter is already waiting for rejection, so he flips his shit
  • he would also be so awkward while asking it, fiddling with his sleeves
    • “hey (Y/N), I was wondering if…I dunno maybe…if…you would…”
    • “are you okay peter? Is there something you want to say??”
    • “will you go out with me?!?”
    • “yes!!”
    • (internally) “HOLY SHIT FUCKING FUCK YESSSSS!!!! HELL YEAH!!!”
    • (externally) “ok cool, yeah see you tonight (Y/N)”
  • then when it’s time for the date peter takes you out to dinner bc he’s classy
  • he’ll take you somewhere expensive and nice because he needs to impress
  • peter sHOWING UP IN A SUIT!! AND STARING AT YOU BC YOU’RE GORGEOUS
    • “hey peter!! you look great!!”
    • he just stutters and is like “yeah..you look great too..damn”
  • then the date goes perfectly and leads to loads of other dates
  • and he’s super respectful and treats yOU RIGHT!! GET YOU A MAN LIKE THAT!!
  • when he asks you to be his girlfriend he’s just as nervous as asking you out
    • “hey (Y/N)…”
    • “what’s wrong peter??”
    • “will you be my girlfriend?”
    • “yes!!”
  • and when you guys are official he still asks for your permission to do things
    • “can i kiss you?”
    • “oh my god of course you can we’re dATING”
  • whenever you’re insecure about whatever your man is THERE
    • “i swear, you are the most amazing person i’ve ever met”
  • and he tells you that he’s spiderman after you’ve been dating for about 2 months
  • you (understandably) freak the fuck out for his safety and general well being
  • him assuring you that he’ll be safe, and that because of you he’ll be even more careful because if he gets hurt you’ll have to date someone that’s not him
  • which is “unjust” and “practically a crime”
  • also peter is always so ecstatic when you do literally anything
    • “yes babe! good job!!”
    • “babe all i did was finish this worksheet wtf”
  • also that boy has a fucking great body is all i’m sayin
  • and i’m just saying that y’all would have great sex
  • like kinky shit because peter deffo has a few kinks
  • not a daddy kink though he probably thinks that shit’s weird but deffo a hair pulling kink
  • also can we talk about hOW HIS AUNT LOVES YOU
  • she literally was so happy for both of you that you guys are dating
  • after she met you the first time she was just smiling
    • “so may what did you think?”
    • “SHE WAS SO CUTE PETE I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!”
  • peter always going to may for advice too
  • him saying the first “i love you” on accident
  • like you two are just on his couch eating pizza and he just says it
    • “god, i love you”
    • “what??”
    • “I mean…you know what? I really do love you.”
    • “I love you too Peter”
  • also peter isn’t big on pda but you love showing him off (who wouldn’t)
  • whenever you initiate pda, peter always holds your hand or kisses you back
  • not fighting that often but when you do it’s BAD
  • and you both end up crying tbh because that’s how much you love each other
  • always making up though
  • being the school’s lowkey/chill/cutest couple
  • geeking thE FUCK OUT TOGETHER BECAUSE YOU’RE NERDS
  • and sometimes being fake excited to make peter happy
  • just making each other happy
  • loving each other unconditionally

also if u like this pls tap that little heart over there bc it really motivates me to write more and i appreciate every single one of you and if you ever have an issue (spelling/grammar or even the concept) just dm me!

punk is absolutely more of an attitude and way of existence than it is a style.
• you’re queer?? in an inherently homophobic and heteronormative society, that’s punk as hell.
• you’re trans//nonbinary?? in an inherently transphobic, cisnormative and cissexist society, that’s punk as hell.
• you’re a poc?? in an inherently racist society, that’s punk as hell.
• you’re mentally ill and//or disabled?? in an inherently ableist society, that’s punk as hell.
none of this means that you cannot be punk if you’re white, straight, cis, abled and neurotypical. however, it does mean that you come from a place of privilege. and if you knowingly contribute to ableism, racism, transphobia, misogyny, and//or homophobia without taking the time to unlearn the behaviour?? or you see someone else doing it and you just ignore it?? then buddy, it doesn’t matter how many studs, spikes and patches you have on your clothes or how high your mohawk is – that shit is not punk.
if you’re just pretending to be in the punk culture for the style, then fuck right off. the world is going to shit as we speak and if you’re gonna claim our style, make sure you got the damn attitude to go with it.

dating peter parker would include...

dedicated to my harrison bestie anon in hopes it makes them smile :) also yes it’s really fuckin long i’m sorry i just love peter parker and have a lot of feelings

  • you actually hate to tell the story of how you two met because it’s mortifiying oh mygod
  • peter, however, loves to watch u blush about it even though it was only really embarrassing when it happened
  • taking the subway to school like every other day, you obviously had spent too many hours on the internet so u were tired as hell 
  • so tired you couldn’t grab the pole in time when the subway stopped
  • and you in an ungraceful manner, tripped, stumbled and fell
  • into his lap
  • his l a p 
  • you still get red cheeks when remember just how embarrassing it was
  • oh my god! i c-can’t believe that- i-i, i’m so so sorry- h-holy shit–
  • peter did find it extremely awkward but your mortified and blushing red face was so much more adorable 
  • n-no, it’s fine– d-do you want my seat?
  • o-oh no, it’s alright. i’d just like to crawl into a hole somewhere. sudden amnesia works too.
  • AND BOY
  • a cute girl with wit and oh my is that a nerdy shirt????
  • from them on, you had his entire heart 
  • yes i will totally be writing a full on imagine for this
  • you guys weren’t friends for long if u know what i mean 
  • like you had already face planted into his lap so you skipped most of the awkward interactions
  • you were kinda like ‘ah what the hell’ 
  • you did it while you guys were walking home together, like usual
  • hey peter, can you hold this for me?
  • yeah?” 
  • and you just grabbed his hand, grinning at him with wink 
  • cue the cutest blushing from peter 
  • peter goddamn nearly had a heart attack but couldn’t stop smiling the entire walk home 
  • he was really sad when he reached your building 
  • but then you stood on ur tippy toes and kissed him on the cheek so he wasn’t that sad
  • eventually kisses on the cheeks became kisses on the lips & it wasn’t official but you two just knew
  • let’s be real, peter is the worlds biggest dork so movie marathons are so common
  • i mean everything– star wars, back to the future, jurassic park, like man you name it 
  • and if u were a nerd too, then oH boy he would just be in a constant state of heart eyes 
  • he would be anyways but extra heart eyes if u geek out
  • c’mon pete, hurry that cute lil ass up! it’s rogue one!!
  • oh my god, please marry me right now.
  • you guys definitely try to quote movies as much as possible
  • i love you” ”i know *intense blushing* diD YOU JUST–
  • he has a such soft spot for when you guys marathon disney movies not that he tells you that
  • something about you lighting up & singing along makes him go !!!!!!! inside
  • no you two never perform disney duet songs together never ever have you done that why do u ask
  • (your favourite one to perform is hakuna matata because its a goddamn classic and peter gets so into it)
  • (breaking free from hsm is a close second because damn can peter hit those notes when he really tries)
  • peter parker is such an admirer like you dont even know
  • he could stare at you for hours and its pretty much what gets him through the day tbh
  • in fact, he has all your birthmarks and freckles committed to memory because shes so pretty i can’t deal with this
  • he blushes SO MUCH when you catch him staring
  • but lets be real, you were staring at him too
  • he blushed even more when he found that out because oh my fucking god she was staring at me do i look weird is there something on my face
  • but when you’re like no you goof, i’m admiring youu get 
  • BLUSHING STUTTERING STAMMERING PETER PARKER
  • he just never stops blushing 
  • he! would! try! so! hard! at everything 4 you
  • baking? hell yeah he’ll bake for u
  • singing? eh he’ll give it a go (but only for you)  
  • dancing? he hates it but he loves to watch u laugh and smile with him so he does it anyways (even if he sucks)
  • speaking of dancing
  • peter loves it when u dance
  • especially when you stay over and he wakes up to you dancing around the kitchen or his room 
  • his favourite is catching you off guard when you’re grooving to some 80′s song
  • babe– cutting himself off with his own laughter, i don’t think that’s dancing.
  • he loves to tease you about your funky dancing because seeing his girl blushing is like his second favourite thing
  • (the first being your smile because it completely melts his insides and everything is better when you smile at him)
  • you also love it when he’s teasing because all you have is pout and suddenly peter’s showering you in kisses 
  • peter is such a sucker for kisses
  • actually he’s such a hopeless romantic & lover of cliches like
  • constantly bringing you flowers he finds on nightly patrols? check 
  • stopping so you two can share a cutesy kiss in the rain? check 
  • dumb pick up lines that still make you laugh? check 
  • tbh you both do pickup lines
  • hey, hey y/n, are you the square root of -1? because you can’t be real 
  • are you kIDDING– NO I’M NOT BLUSHING AT YOUR DUMB PICK UP LINE GO AWAY PARKER
  • he just giggles at you from the bed
  • except when you do it, its a different story
  • hey hey hey, peter 
  • hmm?” 
  • are you related to yoda? because yodalicious.
  • peter just falls off the bed 
  • you don’t even ask if he’s alright, you just cut straight to laughing at his reaction
  • s-shut up! this isn’t because of your pick up line!! i was startled! 
  • even though he’s trying to hide his face in a pillow, you can see his pink cheeks
  • sure, peter, sure. 
  • aunt may is both a blessing and a curse to both of you 
  • because she spills BOTH OF YOUR SECRETS
  • like you can’t ramble to her about peter because she will tell him everything
  • with you in the same room 
  • oh peter, you’re wearing that shirt? i know y/n loves it, she was talking just the other day about how she find it so hot– 
  • “MAY HE DOESN’T NEED TO KNOW”
  • peter secretly really wants to know what you said about him 
  • but aunt may does it to peter too and he hates it
  • “seriously y/n, you should hear the things he says about you, i swear he’s turned into some lovesick–”
  • “nO MAY SHH YOU CAN STOP NOW”
  • makeout sessions ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • you both l o v e them 
  • funnily enough, peter is the one who usually starts them 
  • hey y/n, you’ve got something on your face, let me just– *kisses you all over you face*
  • because he’s more than ahead in his classes, ‘study dates’ really means makeout not that you mind though  
  • peter loves kisses everywhere
  • forehead kisses
  • nose kisses
  • shoulder kisses
  • eyelid kisses
  • back of the hand kisses
  • all the kisses
  • his absolute favourite kiss is the one he receives from you in the morning when you’ve stayed over
  • he’ll play with your hair softly and you’ll yawn & stretch and catch him gazing at you 
  • and you just smile and lean up and kiss him 
  • it never fails to make peters heart stop and when you pull away he just goes nooooooooooooo and pouts till you kiss him again 
  • it’s especially hard when you have to leave or part ways after school because peter turns into a needy lil boy
  • one more kiss! one more! 
  • peter you’ve said that seven times now!! 
  • you literally have to push his away, giggling and grinning, because otherwise he’s going to be late 
  • i swear to god parker, it’s only one class! 
  • and of course you know about him being spidey
  • you actually found out by accident 
  • you were searching thru his closest for something to wear when you stumbled across it 
  • tbh you thought it was a really dedicated costume at first
  • so you put it on and it was so fucking baggy man
  • hey peter! look at me, i’m the spider man! thwip thwip! 
  • except it was the real thing so 
  • y-y/n!! where did you find that??? 
  • don’t worry, i’ll keep your spider-man obsession a secret, peter.
  • but when you accidentally web peter’s hand to the wall, you figure out this suit is the real deal 
  • holy shit!! holy shit! you– you’re, this is the real, oh my god, you’re the spider-man!  
  • peter just panics because you’ve webbed him to the wall and he can’t actually do anything
  • no! no i’m not!
  • you freak out for like another minute before you gather your senses enough 
  • peter parker, do not play with me right now- are you spider-man?
  • would you believe me if i said it was a very detailed halloween costume?
  • after cutting him free, you squeezed him into the tightest hug because you were so goddamn proud of him 
  • but also because oh my god how many times had he risked his life and had you not known???? 
  • oh my god, this is so wicked i can’t believe you’re spider-man–
  • you can’t tell anyone! 
  • shh, you know i wouldn’t but holy god! you have to tell me everything
  • you’re not mad i didn’t tell you?” 
  • pfft, i’ll only be mad if you don’t tell me now.
  • yes i also want to make this an imagine
  • yes, you’re the one who patches him up which always ends in cuddles
  • basically you get to shower peter in constant love and affection because he would do that and more for you 
  • he’s just the perfect boyfriend??? 
  • i want a peter parker
Uh, Lucky God?

(So there we were, a 6th level party fighting our way through an ambush of empowered undead, still trying to get used to our first mythic tier. The heavy hitter of the encounter is an empowered undead STORM GIANT, that just made an attack roll of 41, and hit the Fovung the Paladin for more than half his HP. So I, playing Jack the Rogue, start racking up some sneak attacks, accidentally drawing his attention.) 

DM: The storm giant is crackling with electricity, channeling the energy from his chest into his rusty greatsword. So, Jack: Any last words?

Magnus the Summoner: Flip him off!

Jack the Rogue: Yep, I’m doing that. I just hope it’s a low roll.

(At this point, I’m doing the math in my head. “He just has to roll *just* low enough… pleasepleasepleaseplease…”)

(The giant rolls with a +26 modifier, for a total of 33. Any other combat I would figuratively shit my pants at this number. But the instant I see the roll…)

Jack: YES!! YES!! *YEEEEEEEES!!!*

Literally everyone else: Wait, what?!

Jack: MYTHIC!! DOOOOOOOODGE!!

Magnus: He burns one mythic power and adds a +10 dodge bonus to his AC!

DM: How much did it miss by?

Jack: ONE!!

*assorted laughter*

DM: Alright, it’s your turn now. You just Matrix dodged that electrified greatsword by a hair. It came so close you smelled the rust and ozone coming off of it. What are you gonna do?

Jack: Full attack this guy, and top it off with a Surprise Strike that cuts through his DR!

(After just enough sneak attack damage in one round…)

DM: The storm giant falls to his knees, the knees you stabbed to hell. He’s falling towards you. Roll me a reflex save.

Jack: 27! I jump straight up, land on the back of his head, and RIDE HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND! 

Fovung the Paladin: Jack killed the giant! You should call your sword “The Beanstalk”!

Jack: I AM A GOD!!!

(Didn’t even take a single hit that entire encounter. Lucky God.)

9

character moodboard - all for the game : Nicky Hemmick

Happy birthday to my little sunshine Nicky!

⤷  “Hello, there’s protein in the peanut butter”, Nicky said.
       “Let go of me before I tell Andrew you’re outlawing chocolate. 
     I said let go. You’re not the boss of me. Ouch!
        Did you seriously just hit me?”

    “I’m walking away and pretending I don’t know you”, Aaron said.
      “Traitor”, Nicky called after him.

    “Kevin, just let him go”, Neil said. “It’s not worht fighting over.”
      “When out defense is sluggish we all suffer”, Kevin said.

    “You aren’t serious”, Nicky said. “We’ve got how many hours until          serve? This will all be out of my system by then. 
     You can watch me take a shit if you don’t believe me.
       I didn’t think you were into that kind of thing but - ha”, he crowed      when Kevin stomped off. He flashed Neil a triumphant grin, oblivious to        the way the store clerks were staring at them.

    “I’m a master of persuasion”

The Problem With Sharing Advanced Magic

The inherent problem with sharing advanced magic is exactly why we all celebrate magic: it’s personal!

When we go to 101 stuff, it’s all pretty universal. Energy balls, grounding, shielding, spirit talk, warding, cleansing. A solid practitioner who has been studying even a few weeks could tell you the basics of these commonly explained things!

Then people get bored of it, and want to move to the next step. I regularly see calls for discourse on more advanced topics, which I call “201” topics. Let’s not cast a shield, let’s cast a sentient fanged 1000 layered lotus shield with twelve spinning sigils represented by four unknown colors! Which is dope. Advanced energy work is a solid place to go and can significantly strengthen any practitioner. Then there’s the 201 of any topic; divination, spirit work, etc. How to go from beginner to adept.

And that’s where things pretty much seem to stop, and people seem to get frustrated. Where are the mystic techniques that take a practitioner from Muggle to Wizard? Where are the techniques that Make Unbelievable Shit Happen? Okay, we’ve all cast money spells. Magic is real. Woo. But I want more than a few extra dollars and hexing my enemies. I want my soul to evolve. I want to walk the worlds and learn secret songs of animals and stars. I want personal gnosis, where the spirits whisper Truth to me, instead of reading it out books. I want to birth souls and make hearts stop. I want some Real Fuckin Magic, some 301 next level shit.

I know there are a LOT of Initiated people on Tumblr who do Unbelievable Real Fuckin Shit (including me). So where are all the posts about how to do it? Where are my posts about it?

I’ve come to realize there are a lot of good reasons I don’t post “301” content. So many that I’m not even sure where to begin.

First off, it doesn’t apply to anyone but me. Ok, so I met my guiding animal spirit. Anyone can do that; I could teach you how in 300 words or less. But the lessons he teaches me, and the places he takes me, and the secrets and songs he whispers in my ear aren’t for anyone but me. I can’t make posts about him without violating the sanctity of our relationship. I can’t share the paths to the places I go without violating their safety or the trust the spirits place in me. It’s not because I’m a nasty elitist who doesn’t want other people to know cool magical secrets. It’s because I would be ejected from my path face first in to the mud if I did. Do I want people to have the same experiences I do? Yes! But you can only guide someone so far, unless you have a very trusted mentor.

I worry that people won’t respect the information I share. I suppose this is pretty big for me. I don’t want people to take my sacred animal rituals and desecrate them in honor of pagan gods. I don’t want to share a hallowed place of healing, and get a message three weeks later from a baby conjurer asking me for exclusivity rights to the holy spirits in my path. I don’t want some rude asshole messaging me telling me they’ve spoken to my guides for me and they have messages to share! (You have no idea how many times this has happened to me).

So I keep my lip zipped.

And I suppose lastly, and most vaguely, I do believe Initiation is necessary to experience certain things, so it’s kind of pointless to share because people won’t understand, believe, or accept your message unless they’ve already been there themselves. “Initiation” can mean any number of things, but I mean it in the way where the spirits or gods take you apart and put you back together as a practitioner on your path. There was a hell of a lot I just didn’t “get” until I experienced it firsthand, that no amount of books or posts or helpful bloggers could ever have pounded in to my head.

I think if you want to do “next level shit”, you have to get there on your own. And there are resources to do it. There are a lot of resources to do it. But you can only be handed the key; you have to walk the path yourself. And I think that’s why we’re lacking a lot of the info we’d like to see.

Rising Signs When Drunk

Aries: loud af, super fun, changes the music and dances by themselves, sometimes a bit of a dick (in the BEST WAY POSSIBLE), makes everyone dance with them, the one usually to come up with an idea to ride down a hill on some cardboard they found (SO FUN), probs will steal a sign

Taurus: probs drunk eating or hanging out in the kitchen, always on the look out for food or a snuggle, really well dressed and presented, super touchy and affectionate (often they’re not super affectionate), SUPER giggly lmao, almost a mom-friend but if you’re not a CLOSE friend they rly will not give a fuck, will very likely take off their clothes bc they feel so restricted

Gemini: giggly as hell, absolute SHIT talker, could probably win a debate with their confidence when drunk, tends to like run away, ditzy and off the planet entirely, somehow manages to talk with everyone at the party, doesn’t really remember their names, accidentally flirty but only bc they are on their own level

Cancer: Super mom-friend if you’re a close pal, will not give a fuck if you’re not close, really loves food, tends to be super fun and captivating, really social and flirty, doesn’t take it anywhere though so when it gets more than flirty they kinda just… leave that situation, can get offended rly quickly but also as quickly is laughing in the centre of the room

Keep reading

“I want to talk to you about something,” Even says and Isak’s stomach literally falls out of his ass. Thing is, there’s a reason for this. Because the last time Even had used that specific phrase, he had just been accepted into a film school. In London. And Isak had just been accepted into a biomedical research position in Oslo. Of course, it all worked out in the end because they are Isak and Even and they’re like, fated, or some shit that Even always says in the nighttime hours, but damn was that a rough couple of months.

So like, the phrase causes a brief flash of panic.

Isak glances at the table– which probably should have been his first clue that something was up. Even had made all of his favorite foods for dinner. And he knew he spotted strawberry shortcake in the kitchen, so Even had gone for the big guns in buttering Isak up.

He swallows the bite of chicken and takes a swig of red wine (because he is now one classy motherfucker.) “Okay?”

Even taps his fingers on the table and then reaches up to take his own sip of wine, but puts it back down just as quickly. “Okay. Okay here we go.”

But Even says nothing right after that, so Isak has all the time in the world to fucking lose his mind.

“Even,” Isak hedges, “Baby. You’re freaking me out. Like a lot.”

“I know.” Even shakes himself, “I’m sorry. I don’t know how you’re going to take it and this is like- a life changing conversation so I’m trying to be articulate and get it right on the first try.”

Isak runs a hand through his hair, “Well, are you divorcing me?” 

Even shoots him the most deadpan look in the world, so Isak lets a little smile tug on the corner of his lips, “Okay good. You’re not pregnant, are you?”

Even freezes and opens his mouth and Isak raises his eyebrows, “That was a joke. Even, if you’re pregnant I need to have a serious discussion with someone about the laws of biology.”

Even throws a wadded up napkin, “I’m not fucking pregnant, you shit.” He plays with the collar of his white cuffed shit (Another! fucking! red! flag! because when the hell have they ever dressed up for each other?), “But like- it has to do with that.”

“Just come out and say it,” Please god, say it before Isak has an aneurysm, “Whatever it is, do it.”

So he does.

Even takes a deep breath and says, “I want to talk about adopting a kid.”

Isak blinks.

There is a bit of ringing in his ears, so he doesn’t quite hear the way Even scoots his chair back and slides to his knees right in front of Isak’s chair, “Baby?”

Me baby?” Isak says dumbly, “You want a baby. Like a real baby.”

“Yeah,” Even’s voice is level, controlled. “Yeah, I really do, Isak. And it doesn’t have to be now. But I want to talk about it with you.”

“With me,” he repeats dumbly, “You want a kid with me? Why? Oh my god, Even, I’m a mess. I’ve been going commando for the past week because I ran out of boxers and I’m too lazy to do laundry!”

That damn grin at the corner of Even’s mouth nearly does him in. The quick kiss Even presses to his lips does, “You are the only person I would ever want a kid with.”

Isak grabs his wine glass and chugs it, “A kid. Like you and me adopting a kid and taking care of it and raising it until it’s 18. Changing diapers and… going to school performances and… rocking it when it gets sick.”

Even nods softly, “And taking family vacations to the beach…. teaching him or her all about movies… and you can teach them about parallel universes and other science stuff.”

“Holy shit, Even…. you want a kid. With me.”

“I do.”

Isak thinks about it, like a home movie where the actors haven’t quite all been chosen. He sees himself and Even, and a little human with flashes of blonde hair and hears baby giggles and-

He sees Even folded into a tiny little bed with a children’s book on his lap and a nameless, faceless, child (their child) in his lap. And Even is grinning and reading to them in funny voices. Then he sees himself behind a kid, directing them on how to look in a telescope.

He sees so much.

“This is a big thing,” Isak says, “A really, really big thing. Are you sure you want to?”

“The only thing I have ever been sure of in my life is you, Isak. I want to do this with you.”

“Okay,” Isak breathes, “Fuck. Let’s adopt a kid.”

We had just finished our first quest, where none of us really were experienced DnD player, and I did some feeble attempts at solid DM'ing. The goal of the quest had been to find an antidote for a farmer’s son who had gone into a magical coma.

(ps: due to an inside joke, Winnie the Pooh is in the party like, just there. Christopher Robin is the farmers son who fell ill. The party coloured winnie the pooh neon pink. I don’t know why.)

DM: You reach the farm. You don’t have to roll shit to figure out these peeps are poor. They have a cow and a goat in a small pen that don’t look too hot. Oh, and there’s a donkey tied by the door to their shedlike home.

Elf Ranger: guys i think these peeps are super poor.

Half-Elf Cleric (only good aligned partymember): oh my god really????

DM: just as you say that, the door creaks open, and a thin, a bit aged man peeks out, and when he sees you, his eyes go wide and he steps fully outside, and he says “Are you the ones my daughter sent to- have you found it? Did you find the antidote for my son?”

Half-Elf Cleric: Hello we are here to speak to you about Jesus Christ- I mean, Njord. That’s my deity, right?

Elf Ranger: Yeah, the word of Njord.

Dward Fighter (whose alignment is sorta fuzzy): Yeah we got some antidote dude but uhh time cough up some gold pieces, aight

DM: So- these news fills him with both glee and fear. He sinks down on his feet-

Half-Elf Cleric: What was he on before

DM: -His knees. He sinks down on his knees, and he brings his hands together in your typical prayer like- he’s begging you. “Please, we have… nothing.”

Tiefling Warlock (Chaotic Neutral): sad trombone

DM: “Please, I- I have but one son, he and my daughter are- we won’t be able to do the amount of work- we need him!”

Tiefling Warlock: “Shall we move on, my fellows?”

DM: As you guys speak about this, Winnie the Pooh slides down from /Half-Elf Cleric/’s shoulders, where he’s been perched, and sort of waddles forward, past the begging father, and into the house, to join Christopher Robin.

Half-Elf Cleric: AWWWWWW

Dwarf Fighter: Ey he didn’t swipe the antidote from us, did he?

DM: No- no, you still got that.

Tiefling Warlock: I would’ve Eldritch Blasted his ass if he had.

Half-Elf Cleric: I think we should just give them the antidote.

DM: Like- just to clarify: the antidote is not like- a valuable thing. It’s just this one specific conconction for this particular- you won’t get more cash out of this anywhere else, nobody is gonna run up to you and go “oh, my father is in a magical coma and needs an antidote that-!” like. It’s literally worthless except for these people.

Tiefling Warlock: But we won't have to help someone pro bono.

Half-Elf Cleric: *annoyed sigh* I don’t give a damn about money.

Everyone except her: *horrified gasps*

Dwarf Fighter: … well, you guys do got a nice ass-

Everyone: WHAT

Dwarf Fighter: the donkey. You got a nice donkey.

DM: You… want the donkey.

Half-Elf Cleric: IS IT EEYORE

Everyone: YES we want the donkey.

DM: … The man looks at the donkey and then at you, and he goes “I- If it is a trade between the life of my son and my donkey, it’s- then it’s yours.” And- and Eeyore looks up at you all-

Everyone: YES IT’S EEYORE

DM: -and he goes “I figured I was going to get sold anyway…”

Half-Elf Cleric: AWWW

DM: and the farmer goes “AAA” cus he didn’t know he had a talking donkey

Dwarf Fighter: eyy hasn’t he seen Shrek talking donkeys means cash

DM: yeah well that doesn’t matter now cus he’s giving him to you guys

Dwarf Fighter: right you are

DM: and the man unties Eeyore and he sighs deeply and he goes “this surely won’t make things easier for us… but in exchange for my son… *sigh*”

Tiefling and Dwarf: oh stop moping around jesus hell

Half-Elf Cleric: EYY if I have a ‘set of commoners clothes’ can i give them to them cus they look poor right

DM: I guess

Half-Elf Cleric: EYYYYYYYYYYYY

DM: but then you’d be naked

Half-Elf Cleric: NÄÄÄIJ in that case fuck it you don’t get shit i’m sorry i tried

DM: -and you just start taking of your clothes to give them to the man, but you realise halfway through what you’re doing and you get dressed again

Tiefling: cover yourself, woman

DM: so- let me get this straight. You guys literally have a box on wheels that you pull along with you, and it is filled… with the golden heads of a pair of statues AND YOU WANNA TAKE THIS POOR FAMILYS DONKEY.

Tiefling: survival of the fittest, honey *grabs rope with Eeyore on the other end*

-they go inside and give Christopher Robin the antidote-

Christopher Robin: what the fuck

DM: And the family all rejoice at the awakening of their son, and they turn and thank you, and they’re in the middle of hugging you all when the farmer murmurs “They… they took the donkey.” and the whole family just. Goes quiet-

Dwarf Fighter: fucking tattletale?

DM: - and the mother sort of sinks down on her chair and she whisperes “How will we surviv-”

Tiefling: Oh for fucks- “look, woman, if you don’t shut up I’ll Eldritch Blast your ass-”

Half-Elf Cleric: “HEY WHAT”

DM: The woman gasps loudly and pales-

Dwarf Fighter: “Yo what’s the problem don’t you want a talking donkey”

Half-Elf Cleric: “I meant the whole threatening to KILL HER actually”

Tiefling: “I wasn’t threatening her, I was just stating a fact”

DM: That if she wouldn’t shut up you’d kill her?

Tiefling: It’s a very known fact.

DM: Winnie the Pooh is looking at Christopher Robin with such glee; it’s really indescribable how happy he’s looking, and he’s hopping around happily and he’s climbing up on the bed to give him a big old hug, and Christopher Robin, he goes- “What the- could you guys like take the bear away from me.”

Everyone: “WHAT”

Half-Elf Cleric: “Isn’t he like with you?”

Christopher Robin: “Wh- no? I just went into the woods and he just came up to me, and I found this ruin and he just followed me? And then I got stung by something and that’s all I remember? Could you like take him away he’s a bit creepy. And why is he pink?”

Half-Elf Cleric: “Well uhh he’s yours now. You don’t have a donkey anymore, so-”

DM: And this sorta comes as news to him cus when the father told the fam he had just woken up so he was a bit disoriented so now he goes “Wh-Why is-? What happened to our donkey?” And the father, he goes “Well, son, it was their demand to give you the antidote… and-”

Tiefling: “By the way… can we get this transaction on paper?”

DM: - and the boy turns to you incredulously, and he goes “But-! You can’t! We need that donkey, without it we’ll die!”

Dwarf: “You’re young and strong, boy, time to saddle up.”

Tiefling: “You got a bear now.”

DM: - And Christopher Robin starts to cry too, and he goes “You might’ve saved our lives, but you’ve killed our family-”

Dwarf: “Anywho, gots to go.”

DM: So, you go to leave the shedlike home, and the athmostphere is next to devastated-

Dwarf: “Okay, okay, I ain’t okay with this. We go here and save your life, and you guys are devastated? Really?”

Tiefling: “I agree entirely. Ungrateful runt.”

Cleric: “I-”

DM: “And Chrisopher Robin slams the door in your face.”

Cleric: “No, I was- I was gonna whisper to him “I didn’t want this, I wanted to let you have it for free-”

DM: -Okay, so you whisper that, and he just stares you down, and he shakes his head, and tears are falling down, and he just spits out “You’re just as bad as them for letting it happen anyway,” and he throws the door shut in front of your face after doing that.

Cleric: “GODDAMNIT”

DM: okay so like just to state- like, you guys are super welcome to just. give them something on your own accord, like, out of your own pocket, you picked up som gold in that temple, so if you want to-

Cleric: I WANNA GIVE THEM 100 GP

Tiefling: WHAT “NO, NO, DON’T” ok so I try to pursuade /cleric/ not to do it.

DM: You- you can’t roll to make another player do stuff they don’t wanna do.

Tiefling: Okay, uh “Hey, /cleric/. Don’t do it.” There, you’re pursuaded.

Cleric: … yeah, nah. I give them the gold.

DM: So- you hammer on the door and you shout “I GOT GOLD FOR YOU” or something like that, and Christopher Robin opens the door, and once he sees the gold you’re extending, he- he is so happy. He takes the gold and he goes to hug you, and the entire family comes out and does the same, they can buy like 3 donkeys now i dunno how GP works in dnd yet uhhh so-

Tiefling: Fuck this, I eldritch blast Christopher Robin.

Cleric: NO YOU DON’T i stand in the way.

DM: -Fine? Uh, roll an attack roll.

Tiefling: Twelve.

DM: You miss. You hit the ground.

Tiefling: … don’t I hit the house at least?

DM: NO YOU- WHY DO YOU WANT TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

 Cleric: WHY WOULD YOU STILL ROLL WHEN I WAS STANING IN THE WAY- YOU TRIED TO KILL ME

Ranger: All of this for a donkey

DM: Nah, dude, you got the donkey. This is because /Cleric/ gave them 100 GP

Ranger: Oh okay

Dwarf: Yeah, but they’re super ungrateful. Bastards.

Cleric: Yeah but we can’t KILL THEM for that??

DM: so the family, they- after the attempted murder, they run back into the house. 

Dwarf: Did they take the gold?

DM: Yeah.

Dwarf: Rat bastards.

DM: Does /Tiefling/ want to keep his spree of ‘teaching people some manners’ going or?

Tiefling: Nahhh. But he does cast sleep on /Cleric/ cus he’s pissed.

Cleric: haHA i’m a half elf and I can’t be magically put to sleep!

Tiefling: Nvm then I’m tired.

DM: So- you guys walk away from the house, and just for a moment you hear the door opening and then quickly closing-

Ranger: No

DM: -and you turn, and- Winnie the Pooh has been tossed out of the house.

Dwarf: THIS IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT when Njord taketh a donkey he giveth thee an illuminescent bear, and they just TOSS HIM OUT

DM: - and Winne the Pooh sits on the ground very- very sadly. Had he had tear ducts, he would cry a single tear. He is on the ground-

Ranger: Still pink?

DM: Still pink.

Cleric: :’(

Ranger: ugh FINE let’s take him with us.

DM: You go and pick him up, and he is so happy. So, so happy.

Dwarf: what are we, collecting Winnie the Pooh characters?

DM: He’s on /clerics/ shoulder again-

Tiefling: Can’t we put him on Eeyores back?

Dwarf: Can’t we put EEYORE on WINNIE THE POOH’s back?

DM: You put Eeyore on Winnie the Pooh back, and you now have a donkey on top of a bear on the ground. They are not moving.

Cleric: Oh dear.

DM: And Eeyore sighs and goes “I knew I’d be too heavy”

Everyone: “AWWWWWW”

Dating Montgomery Includes:

  • Changing him as a person
  • “What did you just say to Hannah?”
  • “Something Courtney told me”
  • “Not cool Montgomery”
  • “I-I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry”
  • Monty making you wear his jacket to his baseball games to show you off to everyone, making you secretly happy
  • Going to his baseball games. Being the loudest one screaming and flicking someone off who told you to shut up.
  • Monty flicking someone off for you as well
  • “Sit down and shut up!”
  • “Don’t scream at my girlfriend up there!”
  • “Yeah don’t scream at me!”
  • Sleeping over his house after his games to give him a celebration
  • heated make-out sessions
  • Him always giving you hickies in the most obvious areas so boys know that your his
  • Him stealing you makeup so you can’t cover them up
  • “Damn y/n that one is huge!”
  • Monty getting jealous when he sees a boy talking to you
  • Jumping in front of the boy just to roughly kiss you
  • You giving him hell for getting suspended
  • “Babe come on, we haven’t had sex in a week!”
  • “Oh well, you shouldn’t have punched Alex”
  • Passionate first time
  • Him being nervous to take your virginity at first
  • “Are you sure about this baby?”
  • “Yes Cruz”
  • Rough and hard sex afterwards
  • Monty being into daddy kink
  • Him being into bondage
  • “Y/n why are your wrist red”
  • “Don’t ask.”
  • Monty being the first one to say ‘I love you’ and not realizing it
  • “Gosh y/n your lucky that I love you”
  • “W-what did you just say?”
  • “I love you, holy shit I love you”
  • Both of you being inseparable
  • Him ditching his friends just to be with you
  • “Bro are you coming over”
  • “Nah I’ll pass, I’m with y/n”

` ° * ✧ ° RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS.

❛ Have you been playing with matches again? ❜
❛ Do have anymore of that one stuff? ❜
❛ So, where do we go from here? ❜
❛ What the hell is that thing? ❜
❛ You know, you aren’t supposed to be doing that. ❜
❛ I almost forgot you only come around when you need me. ❜
❛ Oh, yeah, you played me good, didn’t you? ❜
❛ I’m not joking with you this time. ❜
❛ Do you ever think about having kids? ❜
❛ I didn’t mean to punch you that hard. ❜
❛ Nice shiner there, buddy. ❜
❛ Great way to start the day. ❜
❛ I just want peace and quiet. ❜
❛ Please, just go away already, ugh. ❜
❛ I’m not giving you any money! ❜
❛ You don’t own me. ❜
❛ Tell me what to do or what to say. ❜
❛ I love my freedom. ❜
❛ Shut up before I break your arm. ❜
❛ Now, that looks like a grand adventure. ❜
❛ I’m taking you home, come on. ❜
❛ Jesus, are you really that drunk? ❜
❛ What did you take? How many you’d take? ❜
❛ That’s not an orange. It’s a lemon. ❜
❛ The wait is almost over. ❜
❛ So, when are we going to finally meet? ❜
❛ I would like to see you in person. ❜
❛ Are you online dating again? ❜
❛ I’m not sad, I’m just tired. ❜
❛ I want to take a nap so bad. ❜
❛ I thought we could just nap together. ❜
❛ Life can be messy. ❜
❛ I wish life could be mess free. ❜
❛ Are you high or just stupid? ❜
❛ You can be anything you set your mind to. ❜
❛ We are not going to be like them. ❜
❛ I just wanted to fit in, I don’t know. ❜
❛ Are you going to that party tonight? ❜
❛ I thought we’d be together forever. ❜
❛ I really liked you. My fault. ❜
❛ We don’t like surprises. ❜
❛ Please save the lecture for someone who gives a shit. ❜
❛ What the hell did you do? ❜
❛ Well, you poor thing. ❜
❛ I’m just saying, murder is an option. ❜
❛ We can always kill them, yeah? ❜
❛ What’s all this glitter for anyway? ❜
❛ Damn, you look like shit. Smell like it too. ❜
❛ It’s not too dark and not too light. ❜
❛ I wanted to know what you liked so I stalked you. ❜
❛ I didn’t stalk anyone for the last time already. ❜
❛ I’m not sorry and I have no regrets. ❜
❛ You are so fucked, you know that? ❜
❛ Hey, you stole that from me! Give it back! ❜
❛ Screw you. ❜
❛ Just fuck off already. ❜
❛ You look like a Simpson. ❜
❛ I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. ❜
❛ I’m not mean, I’m just honest. ❜
❛ I will stab you with my fingernail, try me. ❜
❛ Your wish is my command. ❜
❛ I would love to see you suffer. ❜
❛ I’m not in, no way. This is bad. ❜
❛ I don’t want to break any rules. ❜
❛ Fine then. Don’t call and don’t text me anymore. ❜
❛ I’m not mad at you, don’t worry. ❜
❛ Do not ever question my parenthood again. ❜
❛ I don’t have time for this. ❜
❛ Death is all around us. ❜
❛ You’re just like the girl from gone girl. ❜
❛ You left, not me. ❜
❛ I’m not the one that’s always leaving. ❜
❛ I can’t believe this is truly happening. ❜
❛ I was wondering, if you wanted to look at the stars with me? ❜
❛ I always wanted to go on a date. ❜
❛ I knew you were trouble when you walked in. ❜
❛ I had a feeling. ❜
❛ Wait, do you feel that? That vibe right now? ❜
❛ Where could the gem be? ❜
❛ Do I look like someone you should mess with? ❜
❛ It stinks it this place. Can’t believe you call it home. ❜
❛ Wow, this is your house? ❜
❛ I can’t believe you didn’t think to ask me first. ❜
❛ You have a lot to learn. ❜
❛ What do you take me for? ❜
❛ What do I have to do to get it from you? ❜
❛ Will you ever stop asking me that? ❜
❛ This place never ceases to amaze me. ❜

i hate when people on tumblr just say shit like “just surround yourself with positive people!!!! dont keep negative people in your life!!!!” like it’s not easy to just drop friends you’ve known for years and magically find a new gang of friends that you can trust so stop making it sound so simple

voltron characters as things i have heard people actually say in my ap classes part two:

sendak: “i would willingly stab out my own eye with this pencil if it means i look more badass”

haxus: “sometimes i just look at myself in the mirror and think ‘holy shit i’m so attractive’ or ‘who the fuck dragged this piece of shit out of the garbage’ and there’s just no in between”

thace: “sometimes i sigh so loud that i’m genuinely surprised my lungs aren’t catapulted from my chest cavity”

prorok: “wow can you believe you get to breathe the same air as me ??? you must be blessed *finger guns*”

rolo: “wanna hear about the time i saw jesus after mixing four shots of caffeine with two red bulls and a redline ??? lol i don’t know how i’m alive either but i got my essay done in like twenty minutes”

nyma: “i got an 89 on the last essay and a 36 on the one we just got back and all i can say is get you a girl that can do both”

shay: “*shoving cloth into her bag from the theater department* i keep telling everyone that i own cats but it’s a lie. its a dirty dirty lie these are for the raccoons that visit my backyard. i also buy cat food for raccoons can you believe the predicament i’m in”

kolivan: “bitch i would punt you into the sun no hesitation”

ulaz: “my life is the bee movie except every time someone says ‘essay’ i die just a little more inside”

antok: “everyone says i’m a chill guy but my life is crashing down around me and my internal monologue is one giant keyboard smash on caps lock *takes sip of coffee*”

First Kiss with Seventeen

Originally posted by junhoontrash

By the way, by first kiss, I mean you’re first one with them, not like, in your life, tbh i don’t know, it’s more of some kiss with seventeen.

with svt in the gif lining up to kiss you. 

S.Coups:

  • probably after like three dates
  • soft but passionate (???)
  • kind of reminds me of plushy bunnies
  • probably gave you a really big smile that doesn’t show is teeth with the dimple and all, afterwards
  • kinda like this ٩(◕‿◕。)۶
  • probably in your bedroom or in a park or like backstage before one of his performances

Jeonghan:

  • lazy
  • he kissed you within the first month of you two dating
  • was probably first somewhere on your face, that isn’t your face, then your lips
  • he possibly kissed you again
  • you guys were probably lying down before, maybe even during it
  • he probably giggled a little afterwards
  • kinda random

Joshua:

  • soft
  • probably asked for your permission
  • or he kissed you then was like
  • “oh, sorry, are you okay with that? can i do it again?”
  • something like that
  • afterwards he shyly smiled

Jun:

  • okay, apparently he had his first kiss with his mum’s friend’s daughter when he was like five
  • so you two were like dating for a week
  • and then probably pulled you close
  • then peppered your face with kisses
  • then unexpectedly kissed your lips
  • and you were really flustered
  • well played junnie

Hoshi:

  • probably got an award or something exciting
  • then like ran to you and kissed you
  • probably didn’t realise he did
  • he was so excited like, *kisses you* WE WON (Y/N)! KJFBSDOB
  • very honestly, it was so random you didn’t even have time to realise he was kissing you after he kissed you

Wonwoo:

  • you might’ve had to kiss him first
  • i just feel like he would like to take things slow
  • so you kissed him
  • then he was like
  • ‘I wanted to kiss you first,’ >:(
  • so you let him kiss you, or he just did it
  • or he was really shy and sheepishly smiled for the rest of the day

Woozi:

  • he was probably being stubborn and you were not dealing with him and you were kinda mad
  • and he was like, ‘o shit,’
  • so you gave him the silent treatment and he was like
  • ‘whhhyyyy?’ all whiney
  • then he was like, under his breath, ‘fucking hell,’
  • then kissed you
  • you were slightly less mad
  • then kissed you until you weren’t mad from earlier, just him kissing you 1210238 times
  • or like wonwoo, you kissed him first and he was mad and flustered (he was very flustered to be very honest) so he kissed you

DK

  • like those kisses were he pulls you close, holds you face, then kisses you
  • was kinda out of nowhere but you kinda were expecting it
  • he probably smiled at you afterwards and giggled a little
  • pure and innocent is probably the best way to describe it
  • was probably extra smiley for the rest of the day

Mingyu:

  • i don’t even know if you guys were a thing
  • he probably did that move where the dude pushes the girl to the wall all smooth and is like ;;;)
  • then says some dumb pick up line
  • kisses you
  • then makes you his
  • or he wanted attention and was like (y/n) LOVE MEEEE
  • then kissed you

The8:

  • super soft and sweet
  • just like him
  • so you were at seventeen’s dorm and you guys were just playing around and built a fort
  • you guys probably sat under it giggling and talking
  • then someone kisses someone and everyone’s blushing and giggling and coups is probably watching with a tear falling from his eye like, how cute :,)

Seungkwan:

  • very shy and nervous about this
  • won’t let you know that though
  • so you were probably teasing him about it,
  • and he was like excuse me, i’ll show you \\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//
  • then kisses you
  • ‘yeah, that’s right, boo’s the best kisser and you know that !!’

Vernon:

  • he’s kinda shy, so guess who made the first move?
  • YOU
  • so one day you two were on your super domestic ideal date
  • and you just kissed him bc you can
  • and he was like FLUSTERED™️
  • if you searched up ‘define flustered’ a photo of hansel after you kissed him would appear
  • he would probably smirk a little after

Dino:

  • wants to be a man so he decided he would prove this to you by kissing him
  • he was actually really nervous
  • probably asked Jun and Hoshi for some useless advice
  • so he was like
  • ‘let’s go out,’
  • and you were like sure, so you guys were on a date and he was like shaking and you were like,
  • ‘you okay?’
  • ‘yeah,’ (he’s really not),
  • and unsurely you said, ‘okay,’
  • and then he was like quietly but loud enough for you to hear
  • ‘goddamnit chan, just do it,’
  • then kissed you and it was cute and you two were a flustered mess

this is kinda messy, but i wanted to write something 

- admin jola 🌱

Cold As Ice

Originally posted by v-writings

Peter Parker x Shy Reader

Request: Yes

Summary: After discovering their powers and wanting to save a troubled citizen, the Reader is left to dealt with the consequences, but ends up finding out a certain secret from a certain spiderling instead.

Word Count: 3,180 (omg)

Warnings: Language, cuteness, discovery of powers, fluff, fight scene, shy!Reader, *slight* assault scene, suck-ass ending (bc I’m trash and I suck at writing), (Please let me know if I missed anything).

A/N: For some reason, I had such a hard time making a summary for this ?? Hopefully the anon that requested this thinks it’s okay. :// I’m slowly moving through all my requests (I have a lot lol). Anyway, let me know what you think as always and enjoy reading!


Walking into Midtown High, you cautiously grudge towards your locker in order to get your books for today’s classes.

These past few days have been strange, to say the least.

Despite it being almost the end of the school year and the hot weather finally arriving, you somehow felt cold to your bones.

Instead of wearing short sleeves and shorts, you started dressing in sweatshirts and pants.

Maybe I’m getting sick…?

Maybe it’s just the chills…?

You kept making excuses like that, but the coldness never seemed to go away.

It’s been happening for a couple weeks now, but you didn’t know what to do.

You didn’t know what this was.

Well, not until today.

Keep reading