A “what if the radio worked” post s4 fic, ~8k and rated M. Let’s just pretending that whole “mystery ship” thing never happened.
He made it two hours.
The oxygen came on and Bellamy didn’t have time to grieve because they have to run diagnostics on what remained of the Ark and then there were rations to unload and systems to reboot, and finally, compartments to pick.
There’s twelve rooms and seven people. Seven, where there should be eight. Monty and Harper took one room and Murphy and Emori took another. Echo picked a room next to Murphy and Emori, and Raven grabbed the one closest to Earth Monitoring Station, which left three for Bellamy to choose from.
He closed the door and everything inside of him shattered. Did Clarke hate him in her last moments, dying alone out there? Did she understand? Part of him thought she might, but— together. That was their deal. There was no deal for one of them surviving while the other burned up from the inside out. He could already feel the hole inside of him that was shaped like her; like Gina, but worse. Bellamy picked up a metal chair. His compartment up here on Factory station had just two of them— two, for three people. Now there was one chair, and one of him. He hefted it in his hand, testing its weight, and threw it at the wall. It bounced, one leg a little bent now, and he hauled off and punched the wall as hard as he could. His teeth rattled with the impact but it wasn’t enough, so he pounded and pounded, his knuckles searing with each punch. A scream erupted from somewhere deep inside of him and then he was crying, sinking to the floor and wondering how he could go on like this.
Raven found him like that three hours later. Her eyes were swollen and red and he didn’t even try to hide his face from her. One look at her and it was clear— she knew. Had known for a while, probably.
Hanboks, Jumin melting his albino, fun and beautiful memories to treasure
This is the second part, the “after ending” of the HanRyu Team Project: Lanterns. Check it out, it’s an artwork that I will be forever grateful to @jumin-love for making it come to life I’m so proud of it hail hanryu
I don’t Discourse, but I get so angry when people dismiss asexual’s people’s problems as something like “Boohoo, you don’t want to fuck, no one gives a shit”.
But it’s so much more than that. Obviously it’s not homophobia, never was and never will be. It doesn’t even compare, it’s not the same thing at all.
But there are issues asexual people face like - there is pressure, part of it from society, and a lot of it come for ourselves. And that kind of self-hate and self-loathing and thinking you’re broken and unloveable, developping unhealthy sexual behaviour and self-harm - it’s a thing, it’s definitely a thing, not something 14-year-old kids on tumblr made up for attention. It can really mess you up, mess your relationships up, and people are so afraid to talk about it - I read words of older people - and I don’t mean people my age, I mean people in their 50s, their 60s - probably they don’t even know asexuality is even a thing, they got married and had kids and always felt wrong, because they hate sex and they never wanted it and never felt comfortable around it but they did it, quietly, never said a fucking word, and hated themselves a bit more every single time because they never understood why they felt they were missing what they were always told was supposed to be a fundamental part of themselves. They spent their entire life thinking they were broken.
and. it’s not homophobia, it’s not bigotry from an entire society keeping you from jobs and housing, etc. there’s no stats or anything. And maybe a lot of non-asexual people relate to this self-loathing, too. Things are never completely clear cut - there is always some overlapping. It doesn’t make it any less important. It’s still a thing that most asexual people go through, at least for part of their life, and it can really, really mess someone up. And there’s no need to get into discourse or into any (useless and frankly asinine) comparisons - it just needs to be taken seriously for what it is, because people’s health and happiness are what’s at play and it matters, too.