just some thoughts about homestuck in the middle of the night

Homestuck Camp Counselor AU

• John and Terezi are the camp pranksters, they’re the oldest campers and have been coming to this sleep-away camp for years. They know all the tricks and the administration Hates them bc they’ve never gotten caught. Vriska used to help them but she got kicked out of camp bc one of her pranks went too far Whoops. This year, they’re joined by one Jade Harley, something of a child genius. This is their last year as campers and they want to pull the Ultimate Prank™. Can our unruly trio be stopped before the whole camp gets pranked? It’s up to our motley crew of counselors to put a stop to their dangerous malarkey!! (Actual quote from Jake English)

• Karkat has been going to this camp for years and finally got to come back as a counselor. The other counselor that’s been assigned to his cabin (2 counselors per cabin) is Dave and holyy shit is Karkat pissed at first. He loves all the traditions and hard work and at first glance Dave acts like he’s too good and cool for everything. Turns out, Dave has a crappy home life and He’s just secretly jealous that Karkat had a better childhood and a chance to come to a camp like this. They talk, Karkat listens to Dave vent about his crappy Bro and Dave helps Karkat loosen up and have fun with the kids.

• Kanaya is like Karkat, they’re friends who have been coming here for years and suddenly her new counselor partner is some goth chick named Rose?? Um?? Kanaya is here for friendship bracelets and swimming and Rose just wants the counselors to sneak out to parties. Rose and Dave win and get the gang to sneak out to a party in the next town over in the middle of the night. Rose and Kanaya end up making out the whole time. They make matching friendship bracelets in the color of the lipstick lesbian flag.

• Roxy is a new counselor (I guess all the strilondes are new that’s just how it’s gonna go) and her cabinm8 is some dude who frickin brought his laptop to sleep-away camp like cmon man. Sollux doesn’t want to do any of the outdoor stuff he just wants to play Minecraft or something. Roxy bets him that he has to participate and not use any electronics All Week if she can hack the camp’s records fastest. Sollux laughs at her so hard he has an asthma attack and shakes on it. Sollux is hacking away when Roxy shoves her phone in his face, its his medical records. How are you still alive with That Many Allergies like seriously dude are you okay? Sollux has no electronics for a week. He suffers a terrible withdrawal and then has a lot of fun.

• Jake was sent to be a counselor by his grandmother because he was home schooled all his life and needs to make friends, his counselor partner in crime is the one and only Dirk Strider. Unfortunately, neither of them has ever been around this many people before and also don’t know how to take care of children. Unfortunate combo x2, they are the lucky counselors to get John and Terezi in their cabin! The kids all understand that Jake and Dirk are not in charge and do not listen to them. At one point, the two are duct taped to chairs, back to back like in a hostage situation. They bond over their mutual inability to take charge and also Do Anything.

• Other characters: Jane works in the kitchen, she’s John’s cousin and sneaks him prank supplies from the mess hall. The head counselor is Jack Noir, a no nonsense ex-drill Sargent with a young daughter back at home. He carries a picture of her around with him to remind him to be nice to children. His camp has been plagued by tricksters for years and he wants to put a stop to it. Will the counselors discover the prank-happy campers before they get thrown out? Or will the pranksters elude Justice yet again, their legacy living on in tall tales?

Unexpected Journey Part 3

Homestuck vore (Safe, soft). Johnkat vore but Karkat might just end up eating everyone who knows. 

AU- Tiny!humans: Earth existed in the trolls universe already and it is one of the planets HIC conquered. Instead of completely wiping humanity from existence she relocated them to Alternia. Humans, incidentally, are 1/12th the size of trolls. This was a few hundred years ago but humans are always on the alert because everything on Alternia, including the trolls, like to eat them.

Basically now is when shit goes down 
Part 1 Part 2 Other stories in the Unexpected Series

This is the longest part yet! 6K words :D

Two humans cautiously made their way along the forest floor, both dressed practically, in clothing that was tough but was easy to move in. One was dressed in bright green, the other in red. The one in green was leading, not wondering, they had purpose. The red one was following, a bit lacking in enthusiasm.

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Original post here



Also Google “Seton Hall University the children aren’t real” and scroll down to section C.

I literally don’t care if they’re also a CSA survivor. We don’t get a free pass to create *and share* art that could produce even more CSA survivors. I’m not playing purity police…I just know how to apply common sense to the question “does fictional child pornography put real life kids in danger?” and I also know how to Google that question. Maybe we could talk about adults *unknowingly* looking at a minor’s body if roachpatrol hadn’t been condescending as fuck about “waving a magic wand and making all the people they’ve drawn magically 18” and OBVIOUSLY created child porn for their own pleasure as opposed to coping or venting. But that’s not the case lol. Y'all ugly af

I made a new post because the old one was getting SO LONG.

Random question: you know roach’s pronouns, she’s a woman, that information is everywhere, but you keep using “they” pronouns for her. How come?

I thought you replied in the middle of the night for me, but it turns out I just 100% didn’t see your reblog? Sorry about that dude


Right, so those things you just cited aren’t what we’re talking about. They’re just straight up different issues in different situations. When I said “as far as I know fanfic has never hurt any actual children” I meant fanfiction, not an institutionalized, commoditized, and publicly visible genre.

For example, loli & shota is a massive, extremely profitable, extremely influential industry rooted in a whole lot of toxicity and, often, misogyny. Roachpatrol is one lady on the internet who, once you strip down all the accusations, has posted two or three drawings of underage. In years. At the height of the homestuck fandom. If you’re going to accuse everyone who has drawn or written underage characters having sex, that’s some massive percentage of almost every fandom with teenaged main characters that’s ever existed. All of those people are pedophiles, including a lot of people who are themselves underage. Every single one. Seriously?

It also seems like it’s time for the definitions game. The crime of pedophilia is sexual contact with a prepubescent minor, statutory rape is sexual contact with a pubescent minor. Both very bad, but they’re different things and are bad for different reasons. Pedophilia is bad for reasons that should hopefully be REALLY OBVIOUS, statutory rape is thus because people who are sexually mature are not also mentally mature, and aren’t mentally prepared for sex. Therefore, laws exist to protect them.

But by definition, attraction to pubescent people under the age of consent does not make you a pedophile. Adult brains can be attracted to teenagers because they see the sexual maturity, the same as they would with another adult, and it’s up to the adult to be a good person and go “okay but that particular human is young and I should Stay Away™.”

Pedophilia is a super-serious accusation that you should not wildly swing around. Because then, when an actual pedophile comes along and they get accused of it, people have to start asking the question “okay is this the real deal or is this a person who drew fictional characters doing the do on the internet.”

I think the major rift in this debate stems from “should there be depictions of teenagers having sex on the internet.” I dunno about anyone else, but when I was a teenager reading about teenagers having sex, it wasn’t some covert, dirty topic I was seeking out to cope with trauma. (I mean, it WAS covert and dirty, but that’s because growing up, all sex was bad and dirty to think about before you were married.) I was a teenager, I wanted to know how I felt about sex, I read smut with people my age I could relate to and saw how I felt about it. (Turns out I’m asexual, so there’s that.)

Whether the person who wrote it was a teenager or adult didn’t really matter to me. Actually, I take that back! Adults usually wrote stuff that was higher quality, had healthier portrayals of consent (or lack thereof), and had more realistic ideas of what a healthy or unhealthy relationship looked like. Being from the deepest part of the Bible Belt, fanfiction was literally my entire sex ed, starting with “so what even is a period.” If it’d just been teens writing that stuff I’d probably be worse off because I would’ve just been learning from other teenagers with their own swamp of misconceptions and unhealthy approaches.

Look, out here in real life, adults writing fanfiction about teenagers helped me, a human being. I know a lot of people who have the exact same story I do. There’s the “coping with trauma” argument, but that’s different from just learning about your own sexuality, you know?

I’m so defensive of roachpatrol because I have watched her help a lot of real-life survivors who came asking for help, and because her stories were really important to teenager!me, both to help with the shredder noise and just figure out all this weird sex(?????) stuff that was going on in my brain. Roach has helped a lot of people, the world is demonstrably a better place because of what she does!!

Please, point to a real person that she or her art has hurt, and bring receipts. Then tell me how any of this is helping them.


Someone wanted some world info about Spellbound so I thought I’d condense the past two days’ shenanigans into one post.  Thanks for bearing with me, all, after this it’s back to business as usual!  I’ll keep this on the back burner.

Individual Images (contain more specific information)



BONUS: Sundry Ancestors, Exiles, Miscellaneous Info

General World/Story Info

Spellbound is the AU I’ve been making up by the seat of my pants, learning more about it with every character people sent me to describe.

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ill met by moonlight, part 1/?

vrisrezi, fae vriska au

(part 2)(part 3)

the first 1800 or so words, inspired by countless shitposts, that one “if you blow a fairy they owe you a debt” post (that piece of logic is relevant soooon i promise), and tumblr user @kurloz

sfw, but warnings for violence and, uh, unhealthy consumption

also, if anyone saw my “S3LF C4R3 1S CHUGG1NG 5 MONST3R 3N3RGY DR1NKS 1N 4 7-3L3V3N 4T 2 4M 4T N1GHT 1N ORD3R TO 4CC3SS TH3 L4ND OF TH3 F41R FOLK” post and thought i was exaggerating about what’s going down in this fic, they were wrong. they were very, very wrong.


You are Terezi Pyrope, college student and part-time paranormal investigator extraordinaire, and you are on the case.

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So, You're Thinking About Joining Tumblr (a work in progress)
  • 1: You must have a tagged/me, tagged/gpoy, tagged/my+face, etc. even if you don't leave a link on your page or as part of your theme.
  • 2: If you send anonymous hate then you honestly are not even mature enough for Tumblr, which is really, *really* saying something.
  • 3: If you send anonymous uplifting, supportive, or mildly flirty messages, you are the salt of the earth.
  • 3: If you post something that you yourself did not actually create, source that shit. Do it. No excuses.
  • 4: It's your own blog, post whatever you damn well please. People don't have to look at it. Don't be afraid to block people. Be as private or open as you're comfortable with. Your tumblr is your place, not anybody else's.
  • 6: If someone sends you nudes, it is understood that you aren't supposed to share them with anyone (let alone everyone) unless you're given explicit permission. (Also, exercise caution when you send nudes.) Depending on where you live, it's actually a crime for you to disseminate nude or partially nude pictures of women without their permission. (I don't know if the same is true for nude/partially nude protections for men, but I know for a fact that
  • 7: Don't believe everything you read, even if it's presented with pretty pictures and fancy graphics. It's easy to lie with statistics (like, crazy easy). Please exercise caution and discernment, within reason. Check sources to see if they're fishy before you believe claims that set off your BS alarm.
  • 8: Sometimes it's okay if you offend someone, because they're basically just a bundle of nerve endings instead of a reasonable person, and almost no matter what you do it'll be offensive to them. That being said, never go out of your way to harass or offend someone. Come on. Be the better person. Ignore them if they're just egging you on.
  • 9: Being racist is never okay. It really isn't. It has never been okay, despite social norms through the ages. Discriminating against people and harassing them due to immutable facts of their biology (the color of their skin, their gender, their sexuality, disabilities or proclivities, etc.), where they were born, or their deeply held spiritual/religious beliefs is not just uncool, it's wrong. Reevaluate your life and your worldview if you think it's okay to do those things.
  • 10: Beware nightblogging. Do not fall into that trap. It is a slippery slope. This site is wonderful and beautiful and terrifying and terrible, but it is not worth losing a wink of sleep over. Nightblogging doesn't just hurt you, it hurts those who love you.
  • 11: Sexuality is a fluid and confusing thing for most people. (Like, a majority, not just a plurality.) If you don't think so, you're probably new to this site. You will name your blog and follow your first blog and think you're the straightest guy or gal that ever was or will be. A few months of scrolling through hot people of all sexes and genders later, someone will ask you what your sexuality is, and you'll be like "??????" You like what you like, that's cool. Don't feel ashamed for not falling perfectly into some silly, rigidly defined Sexuality, and certainly don't let it define you. You're gay? Cool! You're straight? Good for you! You're bisexual? You're not confused or greedy, everyone else just fears what they cannot understand! You're pansexual? My god, he's having sex with our pans! You're asexual? Awesome, I respect that about you! (The "A" in LGBTQA+ doesn't stand for "Allies", ya dingus.) You don't know what your sexuality is called? Doesn't matter. It's yours. It changes and evolves and morphs and probably involves more kinks than you'll admit to having or even know you have yet. (Yet.)
  • 12: LGBTQA+ is kind of long and cumbersome and seems like a mouthful at first, but it's better for everyone if you spend 5-10 minutes familiarizing yourself with it and coming to accept it. (Didn't make a dick joke here, but I definitely thought about it.)
  • 13: Sex gifs are going to happen to you. They are going to happen to you in the safety of your own room in the dark in the middle of the night, and they are going to happen to you in broad daylight out in public. "Puppies to porn in seconds" is not a joke, it's a fact of life on this site. That's not necessarily bad, it's just something you should keep in mind if you're going to scroll through your dash in your place of worship or on the bus or in the middle of a family reunion, etc.
  • 14: Superwholock is a thing. Consider yourself warned. Steel yourself. No one is safe.
  • 15: The memes. Oh God, the memes.
  • 16: Subcultures are cool. Or scary. Instead of bashing a subculture for no reason, why not spend that time doing something constructive (like your homework) or invest it in a subculture that you do enjoy.
  • 17: Don't ask me what Homestuck is, I have literally no idea.
  • 18: For you to understand that referential all humor is, I need. I need this because of reasons.
  • 19: Don't be afraid to make friends on Tumblr. Yes, they can be real friends, who you will love and cherish. You will develop inside jokes with them, you will take truly, horrifyingly ugly selfies and share them with each other. You will cry on each other's shoulders (probably over a beloved fictional character experiencing difficulties, but also because of life and how much it sucks sometimes). Maybe you'll skype with them. Maybe you'll get drunk and maybe send them some texts that you shouldn't have. Or pictures. Or videos. Or large sums of cash. But you're real friends and you'll laugh it off (maybe in a forced, awkward sort of way, but you'll still laugh it off). Unfortunately, they probably live 1,000 miles away. And you'll both get busy and maybe not talk with each other as much anymore and fall out of touch for a little. That's okay. Everything's going to be okay, buddy. Drop them a message in their ask box, even if it's 4AM and you just remembered how much you love your stupid perfect useless beautiful derpy tumblr friend, and say hi. The beauty of the internet is that people can get in touch anywhere, any time (even if you have to wait for their time to be right for them). And maybe they ignore your message, or it's lost in the shuffle and they never see it. You'll lose friends too, and that's hard (like, really fucking hard), but learning how best to cope with that is extremely important for living a successful life. You can take something away from any experience. You'll be okay.
  • 20: There's plenty more, but I can't think of anything at the moment.