just smile and live your life

Trust Me

Admin Marie

A/N: I’m back with Chapter two! I hope you all like it! My goal is to have chapter three done by tomorrow, I’ll do my best!

Word Count: 1865

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Single Parent!AU

Member: Mark (Got7)

Summary:  You became a mother of a beautiful girl named Jisoo at just 16 years old. After her father ran out on the two of you, you wrote your love life off and devoted everything you had to your daughter. Everything changes when you meet a gorgeous stranger who takes interest in Jisoo and your lives.

Warnings: Language

Chapter 1 Chapter 3

Originally posted by sxy-jmn

Mark had become a regular. You would park your car behind the café, walk inside and see him, sitting at his usual table and sipping on his chai tea latte. Part of you was weirded out by this new customer, but the other part smiled proudly when you would see him in the corner, writing on paper or typing on a laptop. Of course, every time you showed up, he would come to the front and get a refill on his latte, smiling sweetly and innocently at you, which was something that astonished and irked you. How could such a perfect man come to the cozy café you treated as your second home.

A week passed since you first met Mark. Everyday he was unfailingly sitting at the table he always sat at. When the cafe became empty around 3 like it did every day, he would ask you about yourself and Jisoo. Today was no exception and for some reason, you found comfort in the routine you two had unknowingly fallen into.

“What’s Jisoo’s favourite colour?” He asks you while you make him another latte.

“Purple. Not the really dark shades or the almost pink shade, the lighter purple colours,” You reply. A soft smile falls onto his face and he looks at you, almost longingly.

“You really love your daughter don’t you?” He asks.

“Of course I do. She’s all I have,” You reply. “At the start it was really hard to get a hang of the whole parenting thing, because I was really young, but eventually I figured it out,” You admit.

“You were 16 when you had her, right?” Mark asks. You place the latte on his table and sit across from him.

“How did you know?” You ask.

“When I first met Jisoo she said she was four, and you said you are 20 so I just thought you must’ve been 16,” He says. “Is it okay if I ask about her dad?” He asks hesitantly. You sigh, nodding.

“What do you want to know?” You ask.

“When did he leave?” He asks.

“As soon as I told him I was pregnant. He disappeared the next day,” You reply.

“What a dick,” Mark says, shaking his head.

“At the time I was sure i was in love with him, now I know I was being irrational and I didn’t know was love was,” You reply. “I am glad he left. If he didn’t, somewhere down the line he would’ve and it would’ve hurt Jisoo,” You say.

“Does she know anything about her father?” He asks.

“No, nothing. I’ll tell her the truth when she’s older and can understand it wasn’t because of her he left,” You say. Mark nods, thinking about something.

“Can I have your number?” He asks. “I was going to ask you sooner… I just didn’t have the guts,” He laughs.

“Yeah sure. Can I have your phone?” You ask. He hands you his phone. You open contacts and type your number in. You save the contact and send yourself a text. “There,” You say. He smiles gratefully at you. A customer walks in and you run to the till, taking their order and making their drink. Yu get off your shift an hour later and you grab your stuff and exit the cafe, making your way to your car. You drive to your parent’s house to pick Jisoo up and then you go home. You make spaghetti and cut up some carrots. You cut the noodles really hort and place the plate in front of your daughter.

You two eat supper and between bites, Jisoo tells you about her day at her Grandma’s house. “Gramma and I did a really big puzzle! You came before we finished, but Gramma say we can finish next week,” She says, smiling happily and slurping on her spaghetti. After you both finish supper, you make her wipe off her face because she has red sauce everywhere on it. You turn on the kids channel and she colours while watching her favourite children’s show. Your phone buzzes and you pick it up, it’s a text from Mark.

Mark: Hey, Y/N. When is your next day off?

Y/N: Tomorrow actually.

Mark: Do you want to hang out? I was thinking we could take Jisoo to the park or to get ice cream. It’s totally fine if you don’t want to though.

Y/N: That actually sounds great. I would love to, and thanks for thinking about Jisoo. She’ll be really excited.

“Soo,” You say. Your daughter turns from the TV and looks at you. “Do you remember Mark?” You ask. She scrunches her eyebrows together, concentrating.

“The man from mommy’s work?” She asks. You nod. She nods vigorously. “I like Mark,” She proclaims.

“Mark is going to take us to the park tomorrow,” You say. She smiles widely.

“Really?!” She exclaims. You nod and pick her up, turning off the television.

“Bath time and then bed?” You ask. She nods. You bathe your daughter and then tuck her in and she falls asleep as you read her another bedtime story. When you walk out of her room and grab your phone, you have another text.

Mark: It’s really no problem. I want to get to know both of you.

Y/N: I want to get to know you too.

You tell Mark where Jisoo and you live so he can pick you two up tomorrow.

Mark: Seriously? Wait give me a sec.

His response to your text with your address and apartment number confuses you. Seconds later someone knocks softly on your door. You walk to the door, opening it and are met with Mark’s smiling face. You’re perplexed. How did he get here so fast?

“I live in that apartment,” He says, pointing across the hall to the apartment directly opposite of yours. You burst out laughing. “I have a roommate though that is really loud all the time and it makes me want to stab my eyes out,” He says.

“Is he being loud right now?” You ask.

“Oh god yes,” He replies.

“You can come in for a while. We have to be quiet because Jisoo is asleep but you can chill here until he shuts up,” You offer.

“A-are you sure? I don’t want to intrude or-” You cut him off.

“Oh shut up and come inside,” You say, walking away from the door and into the living room. Mark hesitantly follows you, shutting the door behind him. You flop into a chair and gesture for him to sit on the couch. He obeys and admires Jisoo’s drawing that’ lying on the table.

“Does Jisoo like to colour?” He asks. You nod.

“She loves it, it’s basically all she does,” You reply. “For her birthday all she wants are pencil crayons, crayons and markers,” You say, smiling at the memory. A smile finds its way onto Mark’s face.

“You raised a really sweet girl, you know that, right?” He asks.

“I am very proud of her,” You reply.

“The guy who left missed out. Big time,” Mark says.

“Il-sung. Jisoo’s father, his name is Il-sung,” You say.

Mark leaves about two hours later. You decide to clean up the apartment a little and then you go to bed. The next day, Mark exts you, telling you he’ll be at your apartment by 11 and that he’s excited to see you and Jisoo. Jisoo is bouncing off the walls from excitement. She adores going to the park and she’s excited to see Mark for some reason beyond you. You get her dressed and fed with much difficulty because she won’t sit still long enough for you to get anything done.

At exactly 11, a knock at your door sounds and Jisoo runs to the door, squealing in excitement. You open the door and Mark is standing there, smiling.

“Mark!” Your daughter screams, grabbing onto his leg. Mark looks as shocked as you feel. Jisoo has never been so open around a stranger, she’s usually so shy. Mark ruffles her hair and crouches down to her level.

“How are you, Jisoo?” He asks.

“Good! You can call me Soo, that’s what mommy calls me,” She says. Mark looks up at you unsurely. You nod encouragingly.

“Okay, Soo. Are you ready to do to the park?” He asks. Jisoo nods. Mark stands up and you shut and lock the door of your apartment. You three begin walking and take the elevator to get to the main floor. When you all get outside, you decide to walk to the park that’s not far away. Jisoo walks in the middle of you and Mark, holding both of your hands as you and Mark pick her up off the ground and swing her gently. She squeals happily and you two let her down again and she sees the park, running across the grass to go to the play structure. You and Mark walk side by side, following idly after her.

“She really likes you,” You say as you both sit down on a park bench.

“She’s such a sweet girl,” He says. You both watch as she climbs around on the play structure.

“Mark! Come push me!” She exclaims, pointing at a swing.  Mark gets up and walks over to her, setting her in the toddler swing and pushing her.

“You have a beautiful family,” An older lady says. You smile at her.

“Thank you,” You reply, bowing. She smiles at continues walking. Watching Mark with your daughter makes you wish that he was Jisoo’s father, not Il-sung. Just the thought of the name leaves a sour taste in your mouth. He was a coward who was too scared to take responsability of something he helped create. If you saw hm now, you would thank him. You would thank him for giving you your beautiful daughter. If he stayed, maybe Jisoo wouldn’t even be the same as she is today, maybe she wouldn’t even be named Jisoo which is a thought you don’t even want to ponder. You love Jisoo exactly how she is and you wouldn’t want her any other way.

“Y/N! Come over here!” Mark exclaims, holding your laughing daughter. You stand up and walk over to them. For the rest of the afternoon, you play games with Jisoo and Mark and for the first time, you feel like the three of you are a family. The day ends with the three of you going out for supper. Mark paid, much to your protesting. When you reach your apartment door, Jisoo is asleep in Mark’s arms. You unlock your apartment door and Mark sets the sleeping toddler in her bed, pulling her shoes off gently and placing her under the covers.

Mark stays for a few hours but eventually goes back to his apartment. You are braiding you hair when someone knocks on the door and you go and answer it. Standing on the other side of the dor is someone you want to punch straight in the face.

“Y/N,” He says. You stare at him in disbelief.

“Il-sung?” You stammer. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Oh So Quiet

A/N: Here’s the first chapter of my new Drabble series ‘Oh So Quiet’ 😁 it isn’t as long as ‘The Girl Next Door’ (Which by the way I’m still writing AND planning a sequel😄). I hope you enjoy it and tags are open!

Chapter 1

Anthea escorted you to Mycroft’s office with your uncle Rudy, you had only just landed about twenty minutes before. You’d been living with him for most of your life, ever since Eurus started the fire in the ancestral Holmes residence.

You were a forensic physiologist. You wanted to delve deep into the minds of offenders and criminals and find out what made them tick. There was one man that visited you two weeks ago on his own accord at your office. Since then your mind had crashed into oblivion.

He was like poison with that deadly, charming smile and smooth, venomous words. You shivered at the thought of him.

Anthea opened the office door and you apprehensively stepped in with your uncle Rudy. Mycroft almost gasped at the sight of you, never had he seen you so frail before. You slipped the whiteboard that was underneath your arm and wrote ‘Hello, Myc’ before showing it to your brother.

He raised a brow “Aren’t you going to say hello properly?” He asked.

You emotionlessly wrote 'I just did. Where is Sherlock?’.

“Why didn’t you tell me she was this bad?!” Mycroft snapped at your uncle causing you to wince slightly at his harsh tone. Mycroft noticed and softly apologised “To answer your question Y/N he’s at home. He knows you’re coming and is awaiting your arrival, he’s set up a room for you. I assume the cases are still in the car?” Mycroft asked the room and uncle Rudy confirmed with a nod.

“Very well,” Mycroft stood up “I’ll accompany you to Baker Street and uncle Rudy the jet will be waiting”. You wrote down a goodbye to your uncle and he kissed you on the cheek.

Mycroft sat beside you in the car. The silence soon became uncomfortable so you wrote down 'Thank you’ and nudged Mycroft’s side to show him.

He furrowed his brow “For what?” He asked with a voice full of confusion.

You wiped away the words and quickly scribbled down 'For being a good nephew and big brother’ you showed him and the corner of his lip tugged upwards.

He quickly became very serious when he asked “Why won’t you speak?” He took your hand almost pleadingly and you stared at it for a minute before writing 'He stole my voice. He corrupted my mind’. Mycroft tensed at her words, he looked into her eyes that were once bright, happy and full of life. Now they were hollow, nothing hid behind them.

“Who did this to you?” He asked in a concerned whisper.

You wrote 'I don’t know, he didn’t tell me his name. He spent ten minutes with me so if I saw him again in public or in a photo I’d recognise him’.

Mycroft sat back and tried to process the information he had just read. He could only hope that Sherlock could crack you open and find out what happened. You soon pulled up to Baker Street and Mycroft strode up the stairs leaving you and the driver to haul your bags up the stairs. “Sorry sister dear, I don’t do being a bag boy”. You rolled your eyes and placed the bags into Sherlock’s lounge.

'Where is Sherlock?’ You wrote and showed Mycroft who received a text seconds later. He took out his phone and pulled a face “He’s popped out for an hour with John. You remember Doctor Watson don’t you?” Mycroft asked and you nodded, you had met John a few times before at Christmas at your parents house.

“Alright then I’ll wait with you, I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone incase you do something stupid” Mycroft muttered and you sent him a scowl. You harshly pressed the pen against your whiteboard, making it squeak slightly 'I’m going to sit in his room’. Mycroft nodded and you made your way to Sherlock’s bedroom.

It smelled of him, it was a strange scent but it was one that made you feel content with the world. It almost made you forget about…him. Almost.

You sat on his bed with your legs bent so you could perch your head on your knees. You stared out the window in silence before a small creek made you turn your head slowly. Sherlock sent you a small smile and delicately shut the door behind him “Hey…” He quietly trailed off and sat beside you, placing an arm around your shoulders.

You reached for your whiteboard again and wrote 'Send them away, they are at the door listening’. Sherlock looked at the board with a raised brow before glancing up at you. He went to the door and quickly opened it, finding Mycroft and John on the other side attempting to eavesdrop.

“Leave,” Sherlock asked “Or else she might not speak at all. Don’t jeopardise my opportunity”. The two men guiltily nodded and left the flat, Sherlock shut the door again and returned to where he was sitting. “Mycroft told me that you’re not talking, but you were asking for me…” You nodded as Sherlock intently studied you. Mycroft had told him that you weren’t speaking, the state of you here beside him made his heart wrench.

“Why?” He asked and you looked up to him opening your mouth to speak for the first time in two weeks.

“Because a man stole my voice”.

I want you to take a second and just breathe. Listen to the sound of your breath. You have come incredibly far in your life. Sure, you’ve made some mistakes, but you’ve also done incredible things that have changed the lives of those around you for the better. Even if it’s something small, like a smile or a laugh, it matters. Small moments can change the world, just like large ones can. In many ways, a small gesture of kindness is more powerful than a large epiphany of sorts. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t ever think that what you do doesn’t matter, even if it’s small. Many seemingly insignificant acts can create many significant ripples.

applesrose  asked:


                                                    @applesrose   //  flame game.

QUIT TELLING PEOPLE THEIR BLOG HAS TOO MUCH OOC SHIT. either shut the fuck up and eat a burrito and smile goddamn like a normal person,  block their tag,   or unfollow like PLEASE GUYS. THAT IS NOT YOUR FUCKING BLOG YOU POTATO. DID YOU LOG INTO IT TODAY? DO YOU PLAY THAT CHARACTER? NO?  THEN SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU LIMP DILDO.   just get on with your fucking life why does it matter to you it does not okay lets all live in a happy circle and stop getting at people for what they want on their own blog goddammnnnn

Start creating the life of your dreams. Step by step, you’ll get there. Just keep at it.

Dear Stranger,

Yes, you. Has anyone ever told you everything will be okay?
It may not be like we planned or hoped it would turn out but it’ll still be okay.
We might as well make it into an adventure. Come on, take a little detour today, see a different part of your city.
Ask your waitress how she’s actually doing.
Do anything to get a smile for someone else.
I don’t care what you do, just make today different. 
You may not remember what you actually do today but you’ll remember how you felt.
How it felt to just do something different.
Life is short - make the memories count.

Live a little,

Teach Me

I had an anon request for Professor Dean smut. Here ya go!

Summary: You are in a secret relationship with your grad school professor. The two of you have some fun in his office.

Warning: smut, a tiny bit of dirty talk

Word Count: 2650

A/N: This was a fun AU to write! Hope you enjoy! Feedback appreciated!

Keep reading


25 Days of Outlander: Day 23 → Favorite Claire Scene
Claire Says Goodbye, 2x13 Dragonfly in Amber

You have a daughter. Brianna. Named after your father, just as I promised. Jamie, I was angry at you for such a long time. You made me go and live a life that I didn’t want to live. But you were right, damn you. Brianna was safe and loved and raised well. But sometimes, oh, when she turns and the light catches her red hair or I see her smile in her sleep It takes my breath away because I see you.

As the years go by, you’ll feel like you are changing, when you’re actually just becoming closer and closer to your true self.
what 2016 taught me
  1. nothing is more beautiful than kindess
  2. you are allowed to be sad but you have to remember you are not the only one
  3. the world is not out to get you, as much as it may feel like it
  4. change does not come from self-pity
  5. just because you love someone unconditionally does not mean they will do the same for you, no one owes you anything
  6. loving yourself isn’t about becoming worldly beautiful
  7. always choose truth. ignorance is easy but with it comes a lack of understanding
  8. the antagonists in your life are the protagonists in their own lives. there are two sides to everything
  9. you are the villian in someone else’s story- try to remember that
  10. love radiates from within, you don’t need to have a constant smile despite what strangers may yell at you
  11. most people are not cruel to you purposefully
  12. other people hurt from your actions without you knowing just like you hurt from theirs without them knowing. don’t be so quick to anger and judgement
  13. not all relationships must last. some friends and lovers seem to be a perfect fit but the relationships ultimately end. this isn’t a failure, it is an experience that will help you grow stronger. treasure the good memories and learn from the bad
  14. without pain and sadness you wouldn’t know love, joy, peace, kindness
  15. happiness is not a concrete state of being. emotions are fluid and everchanging
  16. do not love for the sake of being loved
  17. always spread your good mood around, its so vital to share love
  18. there are things in life you will never have control over. beating yourself up about it won’t change that. accept it and move on toward greater things
  19. you don’t have to hate those who have wronged you
  20. being a light and caring for others is the best thing you can do in life
  21. don’t underestimate the effect your kindess will have on a stranger. be kind every chance you get

•Just be happy! 😌
(Apenas ser feliz)

•A thousand loves, himself! 💕💋
(De mil amores, o próprio!)

•Maturity is in the mind, not the age! ✋🏻💪🏻
(Maturidade está na mente, e não na idade!)

•Life has taught me to cry relieves but smile makes everything more beautiful… 😁👍🏻
(A vida me ensinou que chorar alivia, mas sorrir torna tudo mais bonito…)

•Silence responds even what was not asked… 😶
(O silêncio responde até mesmo aquilo que não foi perguntado.)

•Don’t let life take you. Take control…💋
(Não deixe a vida te levar. Assuma o controle.)

•Live your Dreams! 💓
(Viva seus sonhos.)

•Every single day! 🙀
(Um dia de cada vez)

•So just try again! 💪🏻
(Então, basta tentar novamente)

•Really don’t care! 🙅🏼😌
(Realmente não me importo)

•Deliver me, Lord, from all that is empty of love! 🙏🏻💔
(Livra-me, Senhor, de tudo aquilo que for vazio de amor.)

•Who looks back, stumbles! ✋🏻
(Quem olha pra trás, tropeça!)

•Happiness is not exposed, you live! 💑
(Felicidade não se expõe, se vive.)

•That of my pains, sprout flowers! 🙏🏻🌸💕
(Que das minhas dores, brotem flores.)

•Happiness is when your freedom fills you! 🏄🏻🏀✈
(Felicidade é quando a sua liberdade te preenche.)

•Spread flowers and loves! 💕🌹🌸
(Espalhe flores e amores.)

•Who has not hurry, but that does not get lost in time! 🍃
(Que não se tenha pressa, mas que não se perca no tempo.)

•Be the reason someone smiles today…😍😛
(Seja a razão do sorriso de alguém hoje)

•If you expect honesty, be honest! 😘
(Se você espera honestidade, seja honesto)

•Never lose your faith! 🙏🏻🙌🏻
(Nunca perca sua fé)

•Sometimes you just need to disconnect and enjoy your own company… 💞👊🏻
(Às vezes você só precisa desligar e desfrutar de sua própria companhia)

•You’re responsible for your own happiness. 💑🎀
(Você é o único responsável pela sua felicidade)

•Making mistakes is better than faking perfections! 👀✔
(Cometer erros é melhor do que perfeições falsas)

•Be grateful for what you have and don’t let the little things get you down! 🙌🏻💪🏻
(Seja grato pelo que você tem e não deixe que as pequenas coisas te derrubem)

•What’s coming is better than what is gone… 🍃👏🏻
(O que está por vir é melhor do que se foi)

•Make your own happiness your priority! 🌙❤
(Faça a sua própria felicidade a sua prioridade)

•Sometimes all we need is a fresh start… ✔🍃
(Às vezes, tudo que precisamos é de um novo começo)

•Recognize the good things in your life. ☝🏻🎀
(Reconheça as coisas boas em sua vida)


dopamine album song ramblings

10,000 emerald pools: hazy walks through river-filled forests, marveling at the wonders of nature. echoey caves giving an innate sense of the going-ons of the world, feeling magical, being immersed in deep aqua cavernous pools of water, inhaling a fresh perspective on life, deciding, this is what i live for.

dug my heart: an edgy love story between two girls who wanted nothing but to be together forever, risking it all. climbing fences in the dark just for those secret smiles and shared secrets, a couple cigarettes exchanging hands, all for a breath of the other across your left cheek, wherever the cracks in the pavement lead you, you always have her in your memory

electric love: birds cawing into the sunrise, an assurance that you’re going to have a hell of a time, sweet candy coursing through your veins, visiting dusty bookshops together and feeling like you’ve found the one true love of your life, hearts beating like the rain, downing tequila shots in awe of your electric chemistry

american money: thunderstorms, racing through the dust on a bike, listening to rock music through earbuds, kisses sweet like tennessee honey, murmurs into necks, driving on the highway indulging in whims of buried treasure, writing an ode to the other’s eyes being “green like american money”, proudly carving hearts onto local tree trunks

the emotion: taking polaroids of your lover as you wander, driving through the timezones, the emotion suddenly building up, having an inexplicable urge to just gush out and confess your love, deep red roses at her side and heart sunglasses on your head, her taking out a guitar and strumming dissonant chords with all her heart - you burst out laughing at how endearing she is. all your love, all your emotions are pent up inside and you’ve never experienced so much at once; you wouldn’t trade it for anything else

holy ghost: pouring rain outside, a cozy motel room filled with glasses of wine and perfume. desperate in proving love, fantasies of thirst and ecstasy, ornate gates of glamour welcoming divinity and paradise. in a club, locking eyes with a kindred soul whom you connect with while violins are cranking out their shrillest, purest notes giving you that fully amazed sensation

past lives: a song for all the dreamers and the ones that long for past lives, an ode to the magnificence of times long ago and eras that no longer exist, validating the dreamers and their, vintage hotel rooms with golden bouquets of roses, nights of rock concerts and empty bottles of wine, scenery of red rocks and canyons of majesty, young love adrift at sea, a happy wisp of feeling that leaves you content yet melancholy

clouds: sitting around idly painting, listening to some ambient disco music, thinking about your lover and how you’re absolutely enamored with them. going with them on a carefree journey through paris, lovely beaches with gentle, rolling waves. you can’t help but go along with this experience; as you watch the tide steadily edge in, you can’t help but gaze in wonder at how lucky you are to end up with them

dopamine: twirling through the purple-tinted disco, everything is fresh and tilted due to a little “dopamine” in your veins, looking for anyone to spend a night with you, outrageously flirting, making eyes at the prettiest girl in the room, a night to throw out inhibitions, throwing down shots of tequila, ecstasy surging through you, a pulsating beat, dancing your heart out, tinted funky sunglasses

overnight sensation: lingering touches when that really pretty bartender you’ve been crushing on hands you your drink, sunbeams lighting up her wispy hair, confessing all the sensations of what you’ve been feeling, finally allowing someone past your built up boundaries, a climatic love, daisies picked and left near your purse

fool: becoming a fool for someone you love because you don’t mind it, swaying in this dreamy visual of your loved one forever, being under a spell, reaching out to touch their hand, intoxicating smiles, knowing you’re a goner. once they leave, you can’t help but reliving everything - all your road trips through sunny fields, waving hands around in absolute giddy joy; it’s a bittersweet reminiscing

(inspiration) (spotify)

Summer Rain [Okieriete Onaodowan x Reader]

Summary: what else are you supposed to do but run in the rain after finding out you’ve been in love with your best friend?

Word count: 2,334 (the longest one yet!)

Warnings: cursing, alcohol… 

A/N: The fluffiest of fluffs for Oak, because he deserves it. Thanks to the hamwriters groupchat, I finally had inspiration to write for Oak and I’m pretty happy with the result. I hope y’all like it!

askbox | masterlist

You could give a million excuses to why you showed up on his doorstep like this, at that time. You could say the storm caught you by surprise, or maybe you were around and your umbrella broke and you remembered he lived close by.

Blatant lies to cover a moment of courage with no limitations.

It was 1 a.m. when you woke up that night, the storm making the New York you knew your whole life just a gray scenario outside your window. Your forehead covered in sweat, but a smile across your face.

You were in love with your best friend and the dream you had just proved everything you suspected for weeks.

Keep reading

I believe in rot.

I believe in bones, in withering organs, in snapped sinews. I believe in the irony of life that made our smiles a flaunting of our skeletons, an omen of the grave, and I believe in the eternal nothingness that awaits me when at last I will close my eyelids on a long-expected pain. I know the morgues and the proceedings in black and the poetic epitaphs and I know them all to be crutches for the living, so they may accept death, extinction, perdition — loved ones first, and then the self, because your turn will come just like mine. Delusions : ghosts, monsters, nightmares, dreams, words, fears. A permission to live for nothing until you’re no more.
—  Pauline Albanese, Notes From Avalon

@fadelurker is the artist (as always, posted with enthusiastic permission from him)

sometimes, i think it’s easy to forget just how many issues plague the small lives of ut!sans and uf!sans. even getting close can be so hard when you’re used to pushing everyone away. it’s hard to let someone else in, even when it’s someone who couldn’t possibly know you better.

you crack a joke. you hold his hand. you smile. you act like everything is going to be okay, even when your worlds are falling down around you. you just want to hang on to something true and good in your life. something that’s for you. for once, you want to be really and truly selfish. 

you try to not think about your real feelings. you try to not think “i don’t deserve a damn thing.”


You know how to throw a really good punch line when you tell your stories to people You always mean to start and end with just the facts, but somehow you end up adding a little exaggerating there and a little dramatic mark there, and the next thing you know you have the whole crowd laughing. You live for that kind of stuff, seeing people smile, it just warms your heart. People need to chill when they see you being dramatic because honestly life is kinda boring without a little drama

To the one who put the stars into my first thought about the night, you held my tiny frame in your belly when the world was too large of an event, but you made each little heartbeat a priority–

To the lady who isn’t perfect and has to deal with her children growing up just to talk back to her, living in poverty has successfully destroyed our happiness, but this isn’t the end of the line, one day I’ll put the sun into your smile–

To the owner of every good day I’ve had in my life, I know that we’re both growing, the grey hair is coming soon, but I’ll be able to sing you back to bed one night, I’ll get you a diamond ring that your exes could never get for you–

To the person who built my whole soul inside of a jar next to summer fireflies, I know that I don’t write enough about you, but my ex girlfriends will never understand unconditional love like how you do–

To my best friend, I’m sorry that I’m still your baby even if you’re looking into the eyes of a 23 year old, I’m still figuring out the world, and when I do… I can only pray that you’re still around and smiling, I hope you’ll be proud of me one day–

To the first person who has ever held me, I know my skin isn’t silky smooth anymore, I know my body is poisoned by drugs and cigarettes, I know that my mind isn’t as innocent as it once was, I know that I’ve got more love to give out, I owe you more than an eternity of apologies, I owe you more than a life I’m trying to have–

To the creator of every memory, good and bad, the bad times will make the wonderful and relaxing days this much better–

To the reason as to why I go on, I love you–
—  To our mothers

I always try to be positive, even if really bad things happen in my life. I want to live my life happily, because I only have one chance to live it the fullest 😊 I hope you are all strong , and try as hard as you can. Life sometimes so mean and evil to us, but maybe it’s just a lesson. From every mistake , from every bad situation you can learn something for a lifetime! Live your life the fullest 😚

  • Deathcrush
  • Mayhem
  • Live in Leipzig

Only death is real!

Demonic laughter your cremation,
Your lungs gasp for air but are filled with blood!
A sudden crack as I crushed your skull!

The remind of your life flashes by
A life that soon won’t be!
Smiling with axe in my hand
Evil’s rotten hand you’ll see!

I come forward!

I’ll send you to your maker!
I’ll send you to your death!

Death nicely crucified,
Death, heads on stakes!

The barbecue has just begun!

Crush! Crush!

what it’s actually like to date Yoo Kihyun...

Originally posted by kihqun

The Reality of Dating Kihyun…

  • 50% of the time you just stare at Kihyun like: ಠ_ಠ
  • “I need a refund on my boyfriend…where’s my receipt.”
  • And the other 50% you’re like: e_e
  • “What is your purpose in life?”
  • Because Kihyun is literally such a grease ball in private, oh My gOD.
  • He lives to make you flustered and finds humor in your embarrassment. He finds it endearing and he smiles so hard whenever he succeeds in breaking you down, like why???
  • But after his shenanigans, he’ll just hold you and press your head to his chest as he laughs to himself at your cuteness, oh wow, he loves that.
  • His silent, open-mouthed laughter, and it almost sounds like he’s choking sometimes, and there are occasions when he actually does lmao, this man baby.
  • Him clapping and doing that little bounce dance when he’s excited.
  • Talks about you behind your back to others, but it’s never anything that’s really serious or disrespectful (he’d never disrespect you).
  • He’s just harmlessly venting to the guys, he’d never even consider leaving you, let’s be real.
  • But it always gets back to you bc one of the guys is gonna spill the tea all the time, and you’d never reveal his identity to kihyun because he’s like your lil spy/informant in the group, bless him for his sacrifice.
  • Know who i’m talking about???
  • And when you confront kihyun about it, that lil bean is so cunning like:
  • (◕‿◕✿)
  • “Lol my dearest love, what lies have you been told? i never heard of such a proliferation of absurd falsification in all my life.”
  • Boi what is this, does he think his big words are gonna let it slide? How easy does this turd think you are?
  • You let it slide cuz you’re weak af for him
  • ANYWAY, kihyun is extremely caring, and it’s the perfect counter for his greasiness.

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