just remembering to myself

artist struggle #46802: did I come up with this idea by myself or did I see it somewhere else but just don’t remember where and I’m just tricking myself into thinking this is my own original idea??

just because you seem to be slower at understanding something, does not, in any way mean that you’re less smart or inferior. you’re on your own path of learning. every single step is progress, no matter how slow you think you’re going.

Remember that time George Lucas casually inserted the dialogue “you’re shorter than I expected” when Anakin Skywalker encounters General Grievous in Episode III, indicating that he had never seen him before? And then they made a tv show set *before* those events and Dave Filoni had to spend 6 seasons doing narrative backflips to keep these two, the main protagonist and a major antagonist, from ever meeting face to face? Because of one throwaway line? Remember that?

I do. It’s my favorite goddamn obscure Star Wars trivia please put it on my fucking gravestone.

6

Don’t ever ask me what the hell I was thinking ‘cause I don’t know either.

  • Me: ewww fanfiction is grossss it's so disrespectful to write about real people like that
  • Also me: yass👌💯 hit me up👆👀 with that gay shit™💩👏 I haven't slept😴😴💤 in 3️⃣ days pls🙏just validate💯 my ship⚓️⛴ fuck🖕😾 my responsibilities👀😒 I just need this angsty shit😈🗣👊 about my favs💕😫
2

Prince Oh showing you the world; shining, shimmering, splendid  ゚*。(・∀・)゚*。

2

Ya know sometimes I’m having a good day and just enjoying myself then I remember that otters in the amazon can reach 6 feet in length and take down and eat adult Jaguars and anacondas and not just gators but friggin caiman gators. Then I need to sit down for a minute because that’s some serious @sixpenceee shit.

Reading Up on PTSD
  • Text: People with PTSD may tell themselves stories to fall asleep so they have a safe space in their heads that will bring down their hyper vigilance [paraphrase].
  • Me: Oh.
  • Me: I have been doing that since I was five. At least.
  • Me: Fuck.
  • Me: Shit.
And if you ever think that I’m full of myself
Just remember that
You were never there to fill the empty spaces
So don’t you dare call me selfish
When I’m finally filling up the broken spaces with self love
And learning self worth.

Me, bashing my head into a wall: I *bang* just *bang* want *bang* to kiss *bang* a girl

Winry Rockbell - I was looking through my folder and found an unfinished sketch of Winry. I can’t believe I’ve never drawn her before. And I experimented with the focus and lighting and shadows. I think it looks decent :3

Made by jiyu-koya. Please do not repost, do not remove source.

when i start feeling bad about myself i just remember that scene in bon voyage where yoongi said something really sweet about namjoon then namjoon reached out for jungkooks acai bowl but yoongi intercepted it thinking namjoon was going to handshake him for his heartwarming comment and then they just awkwardly shook hands while everyone watched on in stilted silence and jimin was like Why the fuck did u do that and yoongi was like Midway through i realized he was going for the bowl…… but it was too late……..

This is the story of two internet friends.
They met on a message board one night and soon became fast friends. They spoke with each other for years and years and years and one day they decided to meet up in real life. They quickly figured out a time and place to meet up in a city that was an equal distance between them. It was a public place and they were both on time but they couldn’t see the other.

So they each sent a message to the other asking where they were. Both of them were convinced the other was lying so they each took a picture of a nearby landmark and sent it. Confusion came on both their parts since they were literally standing on top of each other but they still couldn’t see the other.

They eventually figured out that they lived in parallel universes and that the internet was what connected them and allowed them to speak.

All of these Gym Seb videos are making me feel (after I stop fainting and needing to fan myself at the attractive person doing strong things) super bad about myself by comparison, because here I am, a hideous fat blob sat at a desk for 8 hours a day only to go home and be too exhausted to do anything other than cook a lazy dinner and sit on a sofa until sleepy time, so I’m going to put this here for myself and anyone else who needs it:

Getting this fit is literally these people’s jobs.

When actors like Seb or Hemsworth or whoever are gearing up to go be a superhero for a few weeks or months or however long it takes to film this shit, they’re not squeezing in a visit to the gym after a day of systems analysis or teaching basic literacy skills to small children or bagging people’s groceries, they’re… working out for a living.  They don’t have a full day’s worth of admin to plough through before rocking up to the gym and doing a day’s training like you might do.  They don’t have exams they should be revising for.  They’re literally getting up and going to the gym several days a week because it’s their job.  It’s not your job.  So it’s not a fair point of comparison to look at them and feel bad about yourself if you work a desk job, or if your thyroid is fucked, or you’ve got arthritis in your knees, and so you’re too tired or haven’t got enough time to put that much more work in on top of the amount you’re already able to do in order to look like the super people in the movies we enjoy.

We’re all doing our best, and we’re all beautiful.

miscellaneous tips for your first year of college/university:

academics

- try as much as possible to avoid 8 am classes. you could do it in high school, but trust me when I say you don’t want them in college. (but also realize that sometimes you have to take them if you want to graduate on time, especially if the classes are only offered during a certain time.)

- go to office hours. go to office hours. for the love of god, go to office hours. you want to be on good terms with the professors, especially those in your major department because chances are you’ll be in their class more than once and you’ll need a letter of rec from them.

- but if you’re trying to raise your grade, kiss up to the TA (teacher’s assistant). they’re the ones that are in charge of your grade, not the professor. they know you better because of the smaller class sizes and they’ll know how much work you’re really putting into the class.

- it’s quite possible the pull off writing a 5-7 page paper the night before it’s due and still get a good grade on it if you know the material well.

- address emails to the professor with “Hello Professor, …”, include the class you’re in, and conclude with your name and student ID number. be professional and keep in mind that the professor lectures to hundreds of students.

- bring a cold bottle of water to morning lectures and drink from it if you feel like falling asleep. the cold will keep you up (and it’s healthier and cheaper than coffee).

- library floors get quieter the higher you move up.

- if you want to take adderall, don’t start with a large dose. start with 10mg, see how you handle it, and go from there. adderall can be dangerous if you OD. some side effects of adderall include trouble falling asleep and loss of appetite.

- it’s in your best interests not to plagiarize. properly cite all the sources you use. maybe you got away with it in high school, but that shit won’t fly in college.

- study groups are only helpful and beneficial to you if everyone in that group has something to contribute.

- self control, momentum, and evernote are great productivity apps for your mac.

dorm life

- tide pods for laundry is so much easier than lugging down a bottle of detergent and a separate bottle of softener and then having to measure them out.

- if you’ve already washed your colored clothes at least once, you don’t need to separate lights from darks. just remember to use cold water. (I myself am a lazy fuck and I don’t sort my laundry at all. my clothes are fine.)

- ask your RA to get a clock radio for the bathroom (if it’s communal) so music can drown out the sound of the person taking a shit in the stall next to you.

- don’t be afraid to speak up if your roommate does something that is annoying you. approach them in a friendly way (chances are, they didn’t even notice it was bothering you) so that they’ll give you the same courtesy. communication is key.

- you don’t have to be friends with your roommate. you just have to live with them. don’t try and force a friendship if it clearly isn’t working.

- don’t be that asshole that hits their snooze button 10 times so their alarm goes off repeatedly.

- instant noodles = life.

- bring tupperware and hide it in your backpack so you can sneak food out of the dining commons.

partying

- don’t go to parties if you don’t like them.

- don’t drink any hard liquor that comes from a plastic handle.

- you should not be with friends that try to convince you to violate your morals.

- conversely, you should also not be with friends that judge you if you don’t share their morals.

- always. use. the. buddy. system.

- if someone passes out/falls asleep, lay them on their side, not their back. that way, if they throw up, they won’t choke.

- if you get to the point where you need an ambulance because of all of the drugs/alcohol you ingested, tell the medic the truth about the substances you took. they’re not interested in putting you in jail; they’re just trying to save your fucking life. (I can personally attest to this.)

- make sure the change your privacy settings on facebook if you don’t want your family seeing pictures of you with alcohol in the background, dressed promiscuously, etc. some friends don’t ask before putting up/tagging you in pictures.

sex

- to someone that has never had sex, it seems like everyone is having sex all the time and that’s all that matters, but trust me when I say that’s the furthest thing from the truth. don’t let the pressure get to you.

- use condoms even if you’re on birth control to protect from STDs.

- try to take a sex ed/human sexuality class. (the one I took was offered through the sociology department.) in universities as opposed to high school, the sex ed is more comprehensive, usually covers queer relationships (mine did), and does not teach from an abstinence-only POV. they’re very helpful even for those who have had a lot of experience.

- don’t expect people you hook up with at parties to be anything more than that - hookups.

- abstaining from sex doesn’t make you any better than someone who fucks a new person every weekend and being sexually active doesn’t make you “cooler” and someone who has never had sex. remember that.

- don’t use flavored condoms for penetrative sex; you could get a yeast infection. flavored condoms are meant for oral sex only.

- speaking of condoms, it’s really easy to get them for free. student health hands them
out like candy the first couple weeks of school.

- get tested first if you and your partner want to have unprotected sex. seriously.

free free to message me any more questions you might have about college/uni. I’d be happy to help/share from my personal experience or elaborate on anything I’ve said here. reblog and add more tips if you have them; I’m sure i haven’t thought of everything. have a great upcoming school year, freshmen!

8

LOIS:  Look, Clark, I know that I got a little thorny when you raised the red flag on A.C.
CLARK:  I was just trying to look out for you.
LOIS:  And I appreciate it.  I’ve just never had someone to help guide me through the shark-infested ocean of romance. … Not that I can’t fend for myself.
CLARK:  You know, I think I was wrong about our friend A.C.

LUCID DREAMING: HOW TO

SO LUCID DREAMING!!  

Some people asked because of my TONGUE IN CHEEK POST about it the other night, well!!! all it is, is being consciously aware that you’re dreaming. You can kinda train your brain to do it and it’s fukken awesome ok!  I learned from a bunch of books I got out from the library one summer back in high school and I have kept up all the habits since then until shit got weird but we don’t talk about that

sometimes you get to a point where you can control your dream and force yourself to dream about a certain thing . either way it’s really damn neat to just have conscious awareness while you’re asleep and if nothing else, it’s something fun to do that doesn’t cost anything.

I got into it a few years before Inception came out, if you can believe it. So when that movie came out talking about the same ideas my mind was  blown 

First things first:

1) DREAM RECALL:

This is your ability to actually remember your dreams. Because imagine, even if you end up having a lucid dream,  what’s the point if you completely forget it as soon as you’re awake? Some people think they don’t dream anymore but it isn’t true, everyone dreams. Some people just don’t remember.

So Write down  all your dreams, anything that you can remember as soon as you wake up.

I just text it to myself first thing in the morning and usually they’re super disjointed and barely readable but it’s just enough to have me remember them again. even if you can only remember little snippets, the more you do this the better you can get at remembering.

2) DREAM CUES

Dream cues are these little things that make you realize you’re asleep because they differ between reality and your dreams. They’re kind of like triggers that will make you realize you’re dreaming. The idea is to check in on these cues even when you’re awake, so that when it becomes a habit in real life, it will become a habit when you’re asleep.

It’s also a good way to check if you’re actually awake because sometimes dreams are super realistic. I’ve had a lot of dreams where I woke up in my bed, then did the reality check only to figure out I was dreaming.

Different people have different ones but there’s some common ones:

-mirrors: In real life you look like yourself. in a dream you’ll look like a really distorted version of yourself or like a completely different person. I don’t recommend this one because what you see in the mirror might freak you out into just waking up lol

-counting your fingers and seeing more or less than the amount of fingers you have

-electronics that don’t work

-text that changes when you read it, look away and then read it again

-dim lights [i hate light dimmers for this reason eugh]

-loose teeth

My personal ones are the and fingers and the changing text! So in real life, I count my fingers, and read some text, look away and read it again to see if it changes.

If I have more than 5 fingers, I realize I’m asleep and that’s where the lucid part starts.

Personally for me, all of these have served as dream cues, but these two are the ones that i literally check on. Another big one for me is if my teeth are loose, it’s an automatic cue for knowing I’m asleep.

INDUCING A LUCID DREAM

So you made a habit out of checking in on your dream cues and writing down your dreams. Now how do you actually do this thing….

There are some REALLY SPECIFIC METHODS To inducing a lucid dream . Some people practice one method that brings you from wakefulness directly into a dream, with NO LOSS OF CONSCIOUSNESS. I find this a little rarer but it’s definitely happened to me

Others have the method where you fall asleep as usual, end up in a dream, and then your consciousness wakes up while you’re in the dream. This is more common I think.

my sleep science might be off but this is it as I’ve understood it.

so the general method is to go to bed super early. like 9pm. And set your alarm for Stupid O Clock. I am talking some ungodly hour that you will never be up, like 4:30.

Reason being: You will literally never go to sleep and immedeitly start dreaming. You have to have been asleep for a few hours, having gotten a few sleep cycles in. The longer you sleep, the deeper your sleep cycles run and the more restful sleep you’ll have as the night goes on. It’s only in the later sleep cycles that you start to dream.

This is the reason you’re groggy in the morning [you were just in the middle of your deepest sleep cycle] but not groggy at all if you wake up at like 12

So the goal is to wake up right before you’re gonna go into a deep sleep cycle.

Stay awake for a few minutes, go to the bathroom or something, read some stuff on lucid dreaming on your phone… You want to wake up your brain so that your mind is conscious and running even though you’re dead tired.

Now you can go back to sleep, and the conditions are pretty much met for having a lucid dream.

SO GENERALLY NOW, it’s really likely that you’re gonna have a regular dream.

But if you’ve been making a habit out of doing your dream cues/reality checks while you’re awake, at some point you’re gonna do it while you’re asleep.

stuff from the waking world carries over into dreamtown. it’s the same reason you’ll have super realistic dreams about your job or people you know.

IT’S ACTUALLY SUPER COOL When you do your dream-cues and you see different results from real life. Like I’ll count my fingers and realize there’s 6 of them and be like Ohhh shit! I’m asleep! Time to go wild.

Usually I just fly around like a motherfucker but it’s so cool to be your exact same self who is able to think about your family/friends/homework/life/memes except you’re flying

CONTROLLING THE DREAM

OK SO NOW THAT YOU’RE AWAKE while dreaming, you can  try controlling your dream. This is a bit harder to explain but in my opinion it’s as easy as focusing/dwelling on what you want to do..kind of like repeating a mantra mentally.

Like lets say you’re dreaming and you come across a house. As you’re walking towards it, tell yourself “Captain Kirk is in this house and we’re gonna have the time of our damn life.” TELL YOURSELF WITH CONVICTION! BELIEVE IT! CAPTAIN KIRK IS IN THE HOUSE! OVER AND OVER!

also try practising controlling on little things first. Like point to the sky and say “brighter” or “more purple” or “bluer” or think “I want it to be night time instead" and it SHOULD change.

STAYING IN THE DREAM

There’s 2 tricks I know of that will keep you in a dream for longer when you feel like you’re about to wake up and you don’t want to.

One is spinning: If you feel yourself waking up, try spinning around on the spot till you’re dizzy. Things will blur around you and then they will clear up and get super sharp! Especially spinning while crouching. I have no idea why this works, but it does and others have said the same thing.

The other is, when you feel like things are getting blurry, focus on ONE spot in the dream. I usually crouch and like, stare at the details and texture of the road really really close up. For some reason, pinpointing your focus on one little thing will refocus the dream.

finally,

READ UP!!

Honestly the more you read about lucid dreaming, the more likely you are to have one for yourself..Even by reading this you’re more likely to have one. It’s weird, but it works. When I would regularly read books on the topic they’d say the same thing and it was true. It’s kind of like, the fact that you’re aware that it can happen makes it likely to happen..

SO YEAH, before you go to sleep or when you wake up at 4 in the morning, google it, see what others have to say. Get your brain in gear for it. there’s lots of posts online that will probably talk about the same stuff that I have here but this is my legit personal experience with it and stuff over the years.

IN SHORT

  • DO YOUR DREAM CUES/REALITY CHECKS
  • WRITE DOWN YOUR DREAMS
  • SET YOUR ALARM FOR A REALLY DUMB TIME!!
  • HAPPY DREAMING