But What if Lena doesn't Know Kara is Supergirl...?
Personally, I think Lena knows, but this may be interesting. Just imagine an Oblivious!Lena for a moment, please.
Earlier in the episode Kara forgot about their wine tasting. Lena seemed understanding about it, but maybe that also raised some self doubt about the importance of the meeting to Kara.
Kara is her only friend. Lena probably cleared her calendar for the tasting and made reservations in advance. She’s extra like that.
Fastforward to when Supergirl saves Lena. She tells Lena she was “having coffee with Kara Danvers” when she heard her scream.
Getting coffee is a common form of date…I’m sure Lena has read fanfiction that includes the wlw couple going on a coffee date. I imagine she knows “coffee” does not always mean coffee.
So, Kara was able to have coffee with Supergirl but forgot about the 8 course wine tasting event featuring a red wine bottled in her Earth birth year hand selected by the sommelier Lena hired? Okay. If Lena was having any self doubt about Kara, I think this would further it.
Conclusion: Oblivious! Lena could think Kara and Supergirl are seeing each other…
No, your child doesn’t do weird things “for no reason”. They do it for a reason, you just don’t know it yet. You have different brains, different perspectives, so sometimes things that are obvious to them are a mystery to you. But you don’t have to ignore it and blame it on them. You can make an effort, reach out to them and figure out the reason.
Do they scream in public when it looks like everything is okay? Well, there’s probably a reason for that. Maybe the situation is overwhelming to their senses, it’s too loud, to bright, to crowded, and they need some space and time to recover. Maybe they can’t stim because other people keep telling them it looks weird, so they end up exhausted much faster. Maybe you are breaking their routine by being outside at this time. Or maybe you are going through the supermarket “the wrong way”, not how you usually do it. Maybe they forgot their comfort object at home, and just realized that. Maybe they are in pain and can’t communicate that. Maybe they are very hungry and don’t realize that yet because it’s hard for them to recognize their needs and emotions. Maybe it’s a combination of those, or something different altogether.
Either way, they probably don’t do it “for no reason”. You just don’t see the reason. Make an effort to communicate. If they are verbal, ask them. If they can’t speak with their mouth at the moment or ever, use alternative methods of communication. If they can’t explain it, consult other autistic people, including autistic adults who probably have a bunch of ideas as to why your child does that weird thing. Don’t dismiss it, don’t complain about it, don’t blame your child for doing it. Try to see the world from their perspective. Respect their needs and feelings. Learn more about autism from other autistic people.
And life will be much better and easier for both you and your child.
did you know you’re worth everything, every breath, every moment of hesitation, every struggle, every step towards the light, it’s all worth it, it all matters, it all means something, we’re just too close to see it, we haven’t lived it yet, we haven’t been who we need to be to see who we will be, but we’ll get there, we’ll see it, we’ll touch it with our fingers and teeth and skin suffused with light, and you are worth every damn moment in that light, you are worth every mile that light has traveled to come here to this place and touch you, and oh how i envy the sun, it gets to touch you every day, forever, and seeing you glow in its light is worth every moment of pain, every heartbreak, every step back, you are worth it all and i will never stop reaching for the moment when i can say “i hold your body like something holy in my hands, and you are mine”
So I’m still procrastinating writing this final essay, which of course means I had to write more Alyanette. I had to. Also I keep thinking about how great it would be to date a girl because of ALL THE CLOTHES you could share. And thus this story was born.
“You’re dating me for your closet, aren’t you?” Marinette
asked, watching with amusement as another garment goes flying out of her
closet. There is a muffled ooh! sound
as the individual inside the closet throws yet another shirt into the growing
pile on the floor. Marinette shakes her head affectionately, but calls out, “You
know you’re going to have to clean up this mess when you’re done!”