just pray to a god that i dont believe in

I do not like the feeling of being a borderline.
I do not like the feeling of abandonment.
this fake abandonment,
I’ve constructed in my head,
this abandoned building in my chest that I beg people to live in
but when they do I kick them out
because nobody deserves to have to fix this poor collapsing excuse for a house.
I know you haven’t left, but you havent told me you loved me in three hours, ten minutes, and 32, 33, 34 seconds so how am I supposed to know the difference?
I do not like these mood swings
I do not like spending hours of my night covering every mirror in a blanket and covering every tastebud in burning alcohol only to wake up loving every thing about me
taking down all the fleece to realise that the happy me that decides to drop in just enough to always be missed
is not the me that reflects in the mirror
I do not even know who that me is
I do not like the feeling of being a work in progress
I’m taking traits and ideas and hobbies straight from other people’s identities and hoping they dont notice when i suddenly become exactly who they want me to be
“we have so much in common” not unless you, too, sit up every night praying to a god you dont believe in to let you give up because theres no reason to live but theres no reason to die either because theres no person here at all
I do not like this disorder
but if someone told me there was a solution
I don’t know if I would take it
because this lack of identity is my only identity and this empty shelter in my chest is the only home I’ve ever known
I do not like the feeling of being me
—  I do not even know who that is
Hello..

(This is Lily’s cousin Mike)
Lily has been going through some sickness idk what sickness it is but when she eats she feels sick…she may or may have not have the bacteria that her mom recently had…I dont know if lily got it or not…if she vomits like her mom….mostly likely she got the bacteria…..lily has been laying down too long,she hasn’t been eating well,its also because she misses her boyfriend too…lily has been crying for days…..and believe me or not she has..honestly she can’t make videos at the moment because of this and she has no motivation at all….. I just pray to god that she gets better…..and hoping her boyfriend comes back……
Thats why she hasn’t done videos, speed paints,new drawings, or any more stuff on some video game of TCP(?)

Please send your love to my dear cousin lily…..I just want her to be ok…*tear up and cry over lily*…please….im with her at the moment crying a little over her…..I can’t stand this anymore……

anonymous asked:

Please pray for me. I've got a bad health issue, and it's a miracle i need God to work for me. Also, me and boyfriend are just going through a "i dont care anymore" stage. I believe with all my soul and heart that God has brought us together, but he works and such, so he thinks he shouldn't have to care about us. I just want God to get his attention. I'm being understanding, but i'm not settling for someone who wants to put himself first.

Of course, my dear! I pray for both healing in your health issue and healing in your relationship! Continually pray to the Lord and seek His will for your life. While this may seem to big for you to handle, it isn’t too big for God. He sees you and He hears you!

anonymous asked:

Fanfics are so detailed that I'm convinced I know how Park Jimin have sex 🙈 and gifs are not helping... sometimes they are really alluring

…….im just gonna leave a couple gifs here

Originally posted by jiminsjiminie

Originally posted by lovechinoslol

Originally posted by sugamania

he has a really long tongue pls dont think about that too much ok bye

youtube

Bamon Week Day One: “Damon and Bonnie, who would’ve thought?”

So it’s Bamon Appreciation week and I thought I’d start things out with a bang ;)Just some warning, this may be the cutest bamon vid ive ever made :D ♥I was going to make a gif set and then i was like… nah fuck it, I want to make a video. How can I describe why I ship them with just a gif set? I really can’t put it into words… it’s just… there. I shipped it instantly. I havent read book!bamon but I’m sure it’d only make me ship it harder from what I’ve heard tbh. Bamon is…everything. THey’re refreshing, and solid, and they ground each other, and they’re real. I believe damon can truely be who he is around bonnie and she still believes in him and doesn’t try to change him into something(or someone*cough*stefan*cough) that he’s not. They aren’t toxic and obsessive like the other ship that shall not be named. Every scene with them whether it be happy, emotional, angry, powerful…i dont know how to even put it on paper. It just all flows wonderfully, and there is chemistry that you can’t deny, a chemistry that was lacking in other areas of the show. So I pray to God and Jesus that they continue to build on our amazing bbys relationship and make it into something real and something great. :3 ♥

anonymous asked:

If God has a plan for us all why do we bother praying? I'm in NO WAY trying to bash anything I'm just genuinely confused. Like, when people are sick, why do we pray for them to get better if when they die we say "it was all in Gods plan"? If it's all in Gods plan why does it make a difference of we pray for peoples health and safety?

thats a really good question! i still have a lot to learn, but this is what i think: God desires the absolute best for us. because of sin though, we have trials and sufferings in our lives that will test us. in those times, we need to rely on God and trust in Him. He has a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11), but that doesnt mean we can just sit back and wait for that plan to take place. to make sure we follow His plan, we need to take action and pray and let His spirit guide us. prayer is effective and God hears us when we call for Him.

i dont know why even after prayers a sick person will die. perhaps ill gain more insight into that with more life experience and age, or maybe i wont know until im in heaven. but for now, im going to believe in the power of prayer bc its something ive witnessed in my life. 

So, I’m an atheist. Most of my friends are people that are religious, Christian or Catholic, to at least some extent. When I’m going through an especially hard time, they tell me they will pray for me, and if I’ve done something they truly appreciate, they say “God bless you”, or “Bless”. And I thank them. I tell them how much I appreciate what they’re doing, even though I don’t believe in what they believe. I’m not a jerk about it. But I see a lot of atheists that are jerks about it. And I want that to stop. Just because you don’t believe in their gods, or deities, or spiritual beliefs, gives you absolutely no right to be rude to people if they say “Bless” or “I will pray for you”. If they are praying for you, they are taking time out of their day, asking their deity to help you, and not because they want you to give them slander. If you are atheist, please, please don’t be rude to religious people when they say that. 

i dont believe in any god i want to be the god of my own life live by my own thoughts and live by my actions, so say when someone asks me who i believe in i will say myself, myself because i know for a fact im here, im real and im not praying on my knees for a miracle. I guess heaven is another word to hide pain or suffer just to cover up whats really there. My point i dont believe sitting in a church for 3 hours every sunday is going to help you solve your problems, you have to get the fuck up and do something about it yourself.
—  When asked of beliefs ill say (via e-leutheromani-a)

ALSO STOP FOR A SECOND AND THINK ABOUT THE OTHER PEOPLE IN THE HOSPITAL I KNOW YOU GUYS WANNA MEET MICHAEL AND ID BE DAMNED IF I SAID I DIDNT WANT TO… BUT NOT IN THIS WAY. THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE IN THAT HOSPITAL AND EVERYONE THATS THERE NEEDS TO SHOW SOME FUCKING RESPECT AND GO HOME. PRAY TO WHATEVER GOD YOU BELIEVE IN OR JUST HAVE HIM IN YOUR THOUGHTS IF YOURE NOT RELIGIOUS BUT DONT YOU FUCKING DARE STAY THERE

anonymous asked:

I really hope you dont take this as me being rude, because im genuinely curious, but what is the point of praying exactly? I read your post about how you and Zach prayed for your relationship and can't afford not to pray. Isnt that just like wishing?

Well as Christ-followers, we believe that the God that created the universe loves us and wants a relationship with us. And prayer is a way for us to have a relationship with Him. Praying is less “wishing” and more of just a conversation with God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit. It’s not always asking for something, sometimes it’s to share a broken heart or express a concern or a stress or to be thankful. When I pray, I talk about lots of stuff—things that frustrate me, things I need help with, things I’m passionate about, things I’m trying to work on, things I’m thankful for—I even talk about details of my day or a fight me and zach had or missing my family—anything that I want, really. He really does care about what we care about—and that amazes me!
I think people often think that prayer is just a way for us to get God to give us what we want, and a lot of people treat it that way. But we are commanded to pray—prayer is more for our hearts than to change God’s mind. It blows my mind that the King of the universe cares about the details of our tiny lives.

Renee prays at the thanksgiving dinner table 
and the rest of the foxes dont really mind bc you do you Renee
until Andrew also joins in 
Neil’s so…unsure..confused almost
bc 
Andrew?
Then Nicky swallows and joins
Then Matt and Dan 
Wymack and Abby
Kevin and Allison 
Bee
Aaron
Neil’s mouths open slightly at this point, but he bows his head
He doesnt know if he was really praying or just following everyones lead or if anyone was even listening 
He doesn’t know if he believes in a God but the longer he thought about it and how Andrew tied into it he figured 

he could. 

anonymous asked:

when u say you're not religious, do you mean as in you don't believe in it at all or you just don't go to church and stuff like that?

i dont go to church and i dont really think about god that much or pray ever i just try to be a good person 

You argue and you bicker and you fight. Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night over what they think is true; but no one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you. You pray so badly for Heaven knowing any day might be the day that you die, but maybe life on Earth could be Heaven. Doesn’t just the thought of it make it worth a try?
—  Bo Burnham - From God’s Perspective
youtube

Day One ● Damon and Bonnie ll Who would have thought?♥

So it’s Bamon Appreciation week and I thought I’d start things out with a bang ;)Just some warning, this may be the cutest bamon vid ive ever made :D ♥I was going to make a gif set and then i was like… nah fuck it, I want to make a video. How can I describe why I ship them with just a gif set? I really can’t put it into words… it’s just… there. I shipped it instantly. I havent read book!bamon but I’m sure it’d only make me ship it harder from what I’ve heard tbh. Bamon is…everything. THey’re refreshing, and solid, and they ground each other, and they’re real. I believe damon can truely be who he is around bonnie and she still believes in him and doesn’t try to change him into something(or someone*cough*stefan*cough) that he’s not. They aren’t toxic and obsessive like the other ship that shall not be named. Every scene with them whether it be happy, emotional, angry, powerful…i dont know how to even put it on paper. It just all flows wonderfully, and there is chemistry that you can’t deny, a chemistry that was lacking in other areas of the show. So I pray to God and Jesus that they continue to build on our amazing bbys relationship and make it into something real and something great. :3 ♥

anonymous asked:

I love jesus so much but sometimes i feel like i am praying with no reply. it hurts to say this but i sometimes feel like i am praying for nothing. It is like no one is listening. i know that is not true but i just can't help the feeling. Also, i dont know how to tell if it is jesus answering. I dont know if that makes any sense. Some of the time I feel like I just want to believe that Jesus is talking to me but it is really just my mind making things up. Please give me some advice.

At one point or another, most Christians have felt this way. We are spiritually  full of joy and deeply passionate in pursuing God. But then something happens that makes us feel spiritually dry and in a desert alone. Sometimes nothing even happened and we begin to feel empty inside. Even when we do Godly things, like serving, going to church, praying, fellowship, etc.

I’ll confess too. I’ve felt this way numerous times. I’ve asked God through the passage, “Why?” “How come even though I’m being faithful, I feel so empty and unfulfilled within?”

There’s a lot of reasons why we go through dry seasons in our journey with Christ. Don’t think for one moment that Jesus has abandoned you, because He is by Your side right now. In my case, it was to learn patience and to grow. The times where I felt like God wasn’t listening, strengthened the weight of my faith in Christ. When I couldn’t hear God’s voice like I used to, it wasn’t because God was gone, but because of the volume adjustment in my life. Other times it was because God was speaking to me through the silence, but I had not realized it.

Unknowingly, I allowed the sounds of the world to speak over the voice of God. Jesus is not going to force us to love Him. He wants us to give it up by our freewill. Sometimes circumstance come that are allowed by God. He helps us through the situations. But maybe, sometimes, helping us is remaining in silence.

God knows our hearts very well. Even better than our family or best friend or ourselves! He knows what it takes for us to break or to be filled. He knows the degree that it requires for our hardened hearts to melt to the perfect temperature to enlighten us to live for His glory. He knows our ways and the way that it should be. He is good and He calls us to trust Him. It’s hard because the whole world tells us to do otherwise. It’s hard to surrender what we see and follow with our eyes closed. We’re all broken people and have been hurt in our life stories. We’re been lied to and mistreated. It makes trusting God tough. But it makes trusting God powerful and desirable and worth it.

Through our trust and our persistence, God is healing our broken pieces. God is more than a feeling and He is more than just a healer that fulfills our needs. He reigns because He deserves to be praised and to be worshiped. And we are called to worship Him. Because we are creation, we have that lingering desire to go after Him even when it seems strange to worldly standards. 

Don’t give up just because God doesn’t seem to be near. He hears each prayer and He is working all things for His good and those who love Him. It’s scary to not have an assurance or the comfort of knowing that someone is by our side, willing to listen to our thoughts and troubles and other words. But because the risk is high, God can use it to magnify His greatness. a breakthrough can come right now or many years from now. God loves you and adores the dedication that you put in to bring Him glory. He will reward you one day. That one day isn’t as far away as we think. It might be cold right now and really blurry, but it won’t be confusing forever. Keep pursuing God and running to Him because He listens intently. The light is going to breakthrough because God always wins.

Love, yijia

crashhed  asked:

A close friend of mine is completely turned off to religion. While I am a very strong believer and have been since i was little. So naturally I asked her if she wanted to come to my local youth group sometime and she immediately became angry and said "I just dont like when people shove a religion i don't believe in down my throat" If you have time, could you tell me how to help her? I've been praying for God to soften her heart but nothings happened so far. Please keep her in your prayers.

I have come to find in witnessing to friends (particularly those who are incredibly shut off to religion) that they are not interested in church, because it’s a place where they see everyone to be ‘playing a role’ or 'performing from a script’.. Rather, they look to your life, to your actions, to your words, to the way you react when struggles come, and to how you deal with situations, and people, and issues. They read your life in the way that we as Christians read the bible for faith and encouragement. Non-believers spend their time observing, and 'Looking for Jesus’ in the hearts of those who claim to love Him. 

We get so caught up in feeling the pressures of 'saving our friends’ that we forget, we’re only here to witness, to love, and to share what God leads us to share. We are called to be salt and light - we are not the message of salvation, however, we are an example of that message. Our lives are an outward expression of an inward commitment to Christ. 

I encourage you to strengthen yourself, your faith in Him, and continue to draw nearer to Christ. Be real, be loving, be gracious, be understanding, sensitive and accepting. You’re not her friend in order to convert her, you’re her friend because you love her. So embrace your friendship, and allow your love for Christ to shine through that. Allow His essence to be so strong that she will begin to ask through seeing your actions.

Christ is the message, we’re just the messenger. Be sensitive to The Spirits leading, and just love without reservation.

Blessings,
Jacinta.