just over here sobbing quietly into this pillow

But I Think Youre So Mean, I Think We Should Try

Read If Youre Gone here!

               Your bed had never felt so cold and empty and your chest had never hurt as bad as it was in that moment. You lay in the dark room staring at the ceiling. Dean’s speech flooding your mind as well as memories; your tears slipped from your eyes and you rolled over into your pillow and let out a sob; ‘I need to fix this’ you thought to yourself.

               You quietly got up and made your way down the hallway, he always slept with his door shut just like you. You slowly pushed it open and let the hall light shine in; there he was sound asleep in bed, his face stained from tears and his eyes were puffy. You bit your lip; if you stepped in this room, there was no going back, you were taking the chance and you were doing this. You were giving your life to save Dean.

               But if you turned and went back to your room, you and Dean would never be together again, no laughing, no hugs, no late night or early morning kisses. No more jokes or cuddles during TV time. You pulled your eyebrows together and sighed. You missed your Dean and if there was a way for you to have him again, mark or not, you were going to take it.

               Slowly, you crept in his room, his woodsy, musk smell hitting you. You smiled biting your lip as you closed your eyes. Dean always smelt so amazing, he smelt like gunpowder, soap, musk and leather. You slowly walked over and stood on the side that was so familiar to you. You ran your fingers lightly over the blankets, sighing as you pulled them back, letting your body slowly sink into your spot.

               Dean felt the movement and instantly opened his eyes, his hand gripping the gun under his pillow. “Dean…” the soft voice that made him feel like he was dreaming called out. “Dean…are you awake?” you whispered.

               You were counting on him to feel you get into bed; slowly he rolled over and looked at you. “Y/N….are you okay?” he whispered. You nodded “yes…I….I need to talk to you” you said lying beside him, as he rolled over and faced you.

               You stared at his sparkling green eyes for a moment, “Dean…I’m still in love with you. And I don’t want to lose you…I don’t want you to change, I’m going to be here for everything…we’re going to remove that mark and I’ll still be here. I fell in love with you because of the amazing man you are, the way you risk everything for someone you don’t know…I wish I could be that amazing” He went to say something, but you stopped him. “Just…hear me out…” you shifted closer to him, taking his hand in yours. “I never want to go through this again; I don’t want to lie in bed at night without you next to me. I don’t want to look around and not see your flannels on the floor, or your leather jacket lay over the chair in the corner. I’m in love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you” you whispered pressing your lips to his.

               Dean eagerly kissed you back pulling you into his solid warm chest as his tongue licked your bottom lip. You couldn’t help but smile as he pulled away and pressed his forehead to yours. “I love you so much baby…” he murmured, almost so quietly you didn’t hear him. Almost.

               You smiled at him and snuggled as close as you could get to him. “I love you too Dean” you whispered as you drifted off to sleep.

Read If Youre Gone here!