I don’t really have the words for what I want to say right now. I’m very tired and in a lot of pain. But I’m going to try anyway.
You matter to me.
It doesn’t matter if we met decades ago or ten minutes ago, I care about your existence. And it breaks my heart that so many of you are hurting and there’s not much I can do about it but offer you kind words and a wider audience to boost your cry for help. And I’ll always try my hardest to do both. Some days it’s easier than others, some days I’m barely hanging in there myself. But I do, and I try, and am forced reluctantly to take my own advice that sometimes that is enough.
But even on those days when I can’t reply, when I’m in so much pain I can’t type–you still matter to me, and I read all your messages and I take your words and I hold them close to my heart and offer them up to the universe and hope it grants you peace.
More than that I hope you find stability, contentment, friendship, joy.
I hope so much for all of you, I pray, I carry you with me in my thoughts and send you my love and I know that counts for very little. But I also hope that should you ever need this, you know you’ll always matter to someone. And they are so proud of you for hanging on.
So please don’t apologize for wanting to say hi. Or for needing help, or for not knowing what to say once you do. It doesn’t matter to me. What matters to me, is you. And you’re going to be okay. I promise.