just on our grind

Tamlin Character Development Rant

I get really upset sometimes when people say SJM turned Tamlin into a “villain” and wrote him OOC just so we would ship Feysand.

No. Just no.

First off, Feysand has been canon since chapter two of A Court of Thorns and Roses.

Anyway. I think it’s totally unfair to say SJM got lazy and wrote Tamlin OOC. Tamlin, that giant fuck bucket, went through something horrific. He loved Feyre, even though he didn’t try and rescue her from Under the Mountain in ACOTAR. And let me add I have never EVER NEVER EVER shipped Feylin (????). I don’t even know their ship name, so don’t take this as me sticking up for him. I didn’t like Tamlin. I decided that when he bit Feyre because it was really creepy and weird to me. I didn’t even like ACOTAR so I wasn’t going to read ACOMAF. And I know why I didn’t like ACOTAR because Tamlin is a giant fuck. But I digress.

Feyre died. And Tamlin watched Feyre die. He went through something traumatic, not matter how much I hate that fucktable I have to admit it. He was broken, just like Feyre. Except he was broken in a different way. He completely changed because he went through something traumatic JUST LIKE FEYRE!!!!! Everyone falls apart and tries to put themselves back together in different ways. Just because Tamlin started acting like an idiotic tool doesn’t mean you can say SJM wrote him OOC.

It’s called character development, my children. And guess what?!!?? Character development doesn’t always mean it’s going to be for the better. It means a character develops and changes. He changed!!!!! That’s life!!!!!! The “good guys” don’t always stay good!!!!!!!!!

Anyways, have a nice day and stay hydrated

8

└ 智です… さすが智です! 

Cr: Arashi ni Shiyagare 18.03.2017

getting past the filter

I’ve been reading right-wing media - not all the time, because the point of the exercise is understanding and past a point it just breeds exhaustion. But my impression is that the way right-wing media interprets the protests and the outrage and the fear and anger at Trump’s presidency is something like this:

The left won a lot of battles in a row, and they got used to winning every fight they got into, so they picked fights that they couldn’t possibly really care about, just to grind our faces in the dirt. And then they lost! And we won! And they are handling this with immature hysteria and obstructionism and riots, and we basically have to wade through them to put the country back on the rails, and where we fail it’s their fault and where we succeed it proves that they’re ineffectual and intellectually bankrupt and have no tactics beyond crying and complaining and calling people racist. And they’re complaining about things they were fine with under Obama so they’re not actually sincere anyway. And they still have a stranglehold nearly everywhere, but maybe now people’ll start to see through them and we’ll have a chance to roll it back.)

(Some examples of fights we ‘couldn’t possibly really care about’: making employers cover health care plans that included contraception coverage, making bakers bake wedding cakes for gay people, letting trans people use restrooms of their choice.)

And the presence of the narrative imposes a sort of filter, where things you do that make sense within it, or reinforce it, don’t get seen by half the country. Sometimes that doesn’t matter. But sometimes it really does; sometimes I want to be able to talk to the people who voted for Trump and be heard and be understood to be saying what I’m actually saying and not just ‘blah blah liberals won and won and won and can’t handle losing and are going to call you racist no matter what racist racist racist’.

So, obviously, I think this narrative is unfair in many, many ways. But what I’m really interested in right now is, what could a person do or say in order to slip past the narrative? Because it’s, well, encompassing - narratives usually are. Peaceful protests fit into the ‘the left is all bluster and whining’ arm of it and violent protests fit into ‘the left is a danger’ arm of it and no protests fit into the ‘we are the silent majority’ arm of it. And there are battles which really are worth fighting but which are trivial and silly to people sufficiently removed from them, like fights over letting trans people use public restrooms. 

But narratives are not all-encompassing - the vocal opposition of Senator McCain to Trump’s conduct doesn’t fit into it at all, the conservative judges overturning Trump’s executive orders doesn’t fit into it very well, the testimony of veterans about why their translators saved their lives and deserve the opportunity to live here which they were promised doesn’t fit into it.

Those are, of course, all examples of conservatives who can challenge the narrative by already having credibility within it. I can’t think of a great way for a liberal to establish that credibility - emphasizing that you understand why they believe the things they believe was tried very loudly during the campaign, and I think it mostly totally failed (both at establishing that, and at going from ‘we understand each other’ to ‘the filter you’re seeing me through isn’t capturing what I want and what I actually want is reasonable and comprehensible and human’.)

I feel like one important project of the next few months is figuring out how to communicate past the filter, how to say things that aren’t easily sorted into the narrative, and how to build from there enough trust that our concerns and fear and anger are heard as concern and fear and anger, instead of being easy to round off as ‘they lost and they’re sore losers’. I want past the filter. I want to be able to make myself understood. And I do still think that there’s some way that can be achieved.

I HATE those cheesy, stupid ass Facebook posts that go something along the lines of:

“Marriage isn’t easy. Marriage is ugly, messy, it’s fighting over little things, it’s seeing the worst in someone, seeing them angry and impatient. But it’s also laughing until you cry, eating ice cream on the kitchen floor at 3 am, etc”

Like… COME ON!!!! What kind of heterosexual bullshit is this?!

Seriously, marriage shouldn’t be as fucking miserable as people (mostly hetero people) always make it out to be.

Sorry, but my husband and I are happy together, we genuinely enjoy each other’s company, and we have healthy communication so that we hardly ever fight? And when we do fight, we’re able to talk it out?? There’s nothing ugly, messy, or difficult with our marriage.

Idk, perpetuating that shit just grinds my gears.

I will never understand the normalization of being in miserable marriages.