just need a person

Hi friends. I’m sorry I have not been responding to my messages much, I’m going through some tough times and I just cannot bring myself to be social. I just feel drained and exhausted and cannot even carry on a conversation. As the saying goes, it’s not you, it’s me. I apologize to you all- I’ve stared at your messages literally for minutes at a time wanting to type a single response back and I couldn’t even do that. I’m sorry I’m not a better friend at the moment, but I promise to make it up to you all. I won’t be active on my messages for a while, but I will be back. Take care. ❤

Toti on our left… My sister… Freckles on our right…

I’m just feeling like crap.

I didn’t do what I was supposed to do, my afternoon routine. In the afternoon I was going to do exercise but I was so tired from a run I did last Saturday, and today I walked so much to do some errands, then I got home. I was supposed to walk my dogs after I was done with my exercise after 21:30 hrs but I decided to skip it and to walk the dogs, we did a good 30 minutes, when we get home I give them some tricks for dogs a bone you know they chew it and chew it, I got out to give some to my neighbor dog and when I got back my first dog “Toti” was coughing and walking around so I wasn’t sure if he was all right, I took him and try to massage his throat and I feel it, I try to put it out, also I did the tuff you do to humans, then I put my hand inside his mouth to try and take it out and nothing.  I got to my room to get my cell and call the emergency number of the vet, also I got the car keys, license and money it was around 20:30hrs. They never answered the phone so I drove to 5 different vets I know, everything was close. In my way I keep talking to Toti, trying to comfort him, trying to help him in some way, slowly I felt how his life goes through my fingers, how he was breathing more slowly, I just didn’t know what to do, on my why back to home from the fifth vet I saw a place where they change a flat tired and stopped, asked the guy for some tweezers, he lend me three but it was too late, just fucking too late, the small piece of bone was too deep and could reach it, I don’t remember if I told him thank but I just wanted to leave. On my way back home Toti was still warm but he wasn’t breathing anymore, I put my cell phone in front of his nose to see if it fogged but nothing. I didn’t let his best friend “Freckles” his pal “Cinnamon” and the small “Nana” to see him. But they could smell Toti through my clothes. They stink of Toti’s death. I’m just so *(&%@^#!  With myself. Why did I change something I was supposed to do? What if I had done my exercise? What if I didn’t give the tricks? What if? I do believe everyone has an expiration date, but if I hadn’t, maybe Toti will be here?
Toti was a beautiful dog; he was so full of love and was very loyal. Toti didn’t deserve this.

I know five different veterinarians because all the pets I have are rescued from the street. Two vets are general and very good. The third one sterilizes them and the other two in just smaller details. I will learn how to help a dog when they are suffocating, and maybe have some tweezers, a long one just in case.

By the way everything is worse because my family went out to have some vacations and I stayed at home to take care of our pets. Literally I’m fucking alone and have no idea what to tell them once they got back. Toti was my dad favorite dog. It just kills me even more but my family is awesome and I know they won’t blame but I can’t forgive myself. The size of the trick it wasn’t too small or too big, other time it was perfect but not this time.

I hope my stupidity can help someone else just in case and learn what to do.


Toti in his Halloween costume  σ(≧ε≦o)

Just a reminder that I’m an Adult™ and if that makes you feel uncomfortable feel free to:

  • unfollow me
  • ask me to unfollow you
  • block me

I won’t get mad or anything. It’s important to make sure you feel comfortable and secure.

I just love and respect Jin so much and learning about his father made my respect for him grow ever more. Usually children from those families end up running their businesses but Jin had his own dreams and passions and he went to college so that he could make a name for himself. When he was scouted by bighit without having any singing or dancing skills he auditioned and got in, and proceeded to train and practice tirelessly while still working on attaining his degree. Despite coming from a well off family he lived in that little dorm and used his pocket money to buy groceries so he could cook for his members. He always remained humble. I always remember that moment during their concert when Jin’s family was in the audience and he was in tears, talking about how his mom had to hear other moms talking about how proud they were of their sons and how he wanted his mom to be proud of him and show him off as well. And he finally got that and he made something of himself, on his own will, and his mom could brag about him too. I am just so proud of him. He gave up that comfortable life to make something of himself and he’s now in one of the biggest groups in kpop. I just love and respect him so much.

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Frank genuinely smiling because of Karen.

You know, I’m actually not even the least bit shocked that the BBC is deciding to announce who Thirteen is less than a week before SDCC. Which is, as we all know, supposed to be a big farewell and celebration of Peter’s Doctor and Moffat’s era. 

Matt announced he was leaving back in June of 2013 and Peter wasn’t announced as Twelve until August of 2013. This didn’t happen to Matt, so why should it happen to Peter? It seems like its no secret that the BBC (and the media) have undermined Twelve and Peter’s run at every chance they got. There is hardly any official merchandise of Twelve, especially when you compare it to Ten and Eleven. On top of that, Twelve’s run has not only not won any awards or given any recognition for its groundbreaking episodes, but Peter himself hasn’t won anything for his time on the show. Who knows, maybe he will for series 10, but right now its looking doubtful. 

Ever since 2014, several articles have ran with the titles “Who will be Peter Capaldi’s replacement?”, “_____ wants to be the Thirteenth Doctor!”“Have ratings gone down because of Peter Capaldi?”, etc. Articles ran filled with ageism, and nothing but disrespect towards Peter. 

I could probably go on a much longer rant, but I won’t. Peter and his era deserves so much more credit and love than its given. It has been one of the most groundbreaking, if not the most groundbreaking era that this show has ever made. 

Edit:

When I made this post, I was simply complaining about the BBC and media’s treatment of Twelve and Peter. Not Moffat, not Clara, not the fandom. I didn’t make this post for the blame game to be played. I wasn’t expecting this post to take off like it did just because of me simply voicing my frustrations towards the BBC and media (and it being their faults, no one else’s) for Twelve’s era being underrated.

Was I tired and emotional while making this? Yes. Did the announcement of Thirteen overshadow Peter’s time at SDCC? No.

While I still think Twelve’s era deserved a better treatment from the BBC and media, it shouldn’t detract from celebrating and appreciating it.

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니가 알던 내가 아냐 (I’M NOT THE PERSON YOU USED TO KNOW)

this is literally not an attack at anyone but every hance hc is like “and hunk comforts lance” which is a swell thought but !!! consider: lance comforting hunk?? the boy canonically has bad anxiety and cries at everything (highkey relatable traits ngl) so like….pls picture his loving boyfriend lance comforting him….pls my crops are dying….

Hey so like this whole thing of using generic white woman names when making a point started with black people talking about how exhausting racism is

It seems like a lot of my fellow white gays have forgotten that and forgotten that hey lgbtq people can still be racist and do racist things and this is one of those things. We already have issues with racism in our spaces and we already have issues of us lgbtq people stealing shit from black culture and stealing their terms for dealing with their oppression
So let’s all collectively stop doing that shit if we’re not black yeah? Let’s go ahead and put down this meme we picked up that isn’t for or about us and never was