just look how bad i am at scene choose it's frustrating

something like love

Originally posted by jinjks

Love is something like a whirlpool of crazy insane emotions that thickens and brews in your heart and stomach and mind until you decide that maybe, yeah, you are falling so far in love.

pairing: jungkook | reader ; barista!jungkook
words: 3.4k 
genre: a tinge of angst and a wHOLE LOT OF FLUFF
summary: jungkook isn’t good with words, especially with girls whose dumb boyfriends dumped them but miracles do happen on a Saturday rainy night when you showed up drenched and desperate for a hot mug of hot chocolate.
a/n: LATE BIRTHDAY GIFT TO MY LOAF @pennelty honestly i don't know why the heck you want angst but i tRIED so pls love it for me thanks b.

The first time Jungkook met you, you belonged to another man, hands intertwined with tender loving eyes that gazed into each others for hours as Jungkook catches on little remnants and snippets of muffled conversation that were exchanged with steaming mugs of coffee beneath your noses.

It didn’t instigate any conflicting emotions the moment your frame enters the little café situated in the corner of the streets, a canopy from the congestions and city life of Seoul. Yet, as weeks pass, and your presence became a regular to the baristas and even the usual customers of the café, Jungkook had taken a fond habit of taking his time to drink you in every time you stopped by, specifically on late Saturday afternoons, where the glory of the sun rays dimmed and the chilling air was a perfect time for a cup of coffee. His colleague, Jimin became suspicious when Jungkook demanded to work for the Saturday shift, but even frequent squabbles and interrogations could not get Jungkook to admit anything he had for you.

But like the first time, and every other times, you had been and always will be belonged to another man; the intimacy and ardent aura that the both of you radiated stirring unwanted feelings and soon enough, when hand holding turned to chaste kisses, Jungkook didn’t bother to fight down the venomous jealousy that spread in his veins like wildfire.

Whatever peculiar dangerous emotions he was feeling, Jungkook knew he had no reason to intervene, to stop the ruthless battle in his heart as he watched the beautiful smile of yours, stars that swirled in your eyes like the galaxies that he maps out in his mind and the dulcet laughter that brought life to the ever so empty café. And while he unearths his greatest desires that lie in the heart of a stranger he only conversed in coffee language, Jungkook wishes that he was the very reason for all your beautiful things.

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Plot: In this fanfiction Y/N (daughter of a maid)  thinks about the different memories she had with Jon Snow. 

Summary: Jon Snow left you behind to join the NW after he turned 16. Did he become a memory to you then or will there be more memories of him and you together to come? 

Theme: (part 1 is angst and fluff, other parts could be angst, fluff and/or smut)

Fandom: Game of Thrones

Ships: Jon x reader

Side characters: Lady Catelyn, Sansa, Robb, Ramsey 

Word count: 900 


Being the daughter of a low-born handmaiden was something you couldn’t change. And the same faith awaited you once you turned of age. But your mother often tried to remind you that her job was very valuable. She would tell you that Lady Catelyn had grown quite fond of you and your family, despite your lower status. She’d explain that that was the reason why you were able to talk to the Stark kids without getting in trouble. You knew that the true reasoning behind Lady Catelyn’s  kindness was because she wanted nothing more than for Jon to play with you instead of her own children. Lady Catelyn knew that none of her kids would show true interest in you except for Jon. After all, he was the only one that was constantly left behind. 

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Facing uncomfortable truths about abuse

This week has been about facing truths, some of which I wish I never had to face, and I know that Mr. Juulna has had to face some pretty harsh truths as I have spoken them to him. Some he has accepted, at least at face value, and some I don’t think he will ever be willing to face, let alone accept.

One of which (is a vast meta umbrella) is that he abused me.

But… it was in a subtle way. Before last Tuesday, July 4th (yes, apparently fate decided to be dramatic with me and its timing), I was unwilling to truly accept that I was abused. 

I wasn’t being physically abused. No, not often. (Yeah, and isn’t that a ridiculous sounding statement.)

But subtle, emotional abuse, is still abuse.

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God look at that quality header. Graphic design is my passion.


Skam is BACK and this time I get to watch from the first clip! Fandom has been in uproar and I have so many feelings and opinions I’ve been coming apart at the seams. A lot of polarising opinions, questions, concerns, outrage. Not to mention the totally anticipated yet still alarming racism and islamophobia considering our main is a POC Muslim girl this time around.

So I thought I’d take the time to collate all my thoughts and feelings into a daily/weekly breakdown for each episode! I try to be as subjective and clear headed as possible while watching this show and take in the messages, lessons and information Julie Andem et al are providing. Forgive me if I happen to project a little or get wild in my enthusiasm as a muslim growing up europe this season is so #relatable I’ve been shook since the second we got the trailer and still in a state of disbelief that this is actually happening. So as someone very invested I thought why not share my two cents with the class.

Disclaimer: Everything here is my personal thoughts and opinions. They do not represent the views of all Muslims or POC. It’s just my own take on the show.

Im gonna try doing this Day by Day depending on the lengths ( this gets wordy I don’t shut up I’m Sorry)

Breakdown 1 >> Next

Monday 10.04.17 1:28

Okay here we are the famous opening scene. In true Skam fashion we see Sana on the train watching the streets of what i assume is Oslo go by, intersped with images relevant to the main themes of this season. Trump, images of war in what could be syria or palestine ( don’t quote me on that I honestly couldn’t tell you which), the hijabi mascot of the women’s march, the french beach hijabi lady indcedent, images of the army and missiles firing. Right off the bat they ain’t fucking around.

The street ad of two women in bikini’s which Robyn sings “All of these girls a mess I’ve seen it all before I’m not impressed” Sana watches all of this impassively, dare I say haughty even. That is until she finds herself staring at a bunch of dudebros have an ab contest in the street. Sana is human and she stares. Robyn insists “None of them make me feel anything” in direct conflict with what we see cause Sana’s expression is intrigued, appreciative even, shes smirking. That is until she startled out of it by the Azaan for Zuhr going off on her phone.

Hello Relatable AF moment #1 ( honestly why am I counting there’s already a million)

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Regalia University

Yoongi x reader

This au is based off a similar “school” concept from my previous fic, Telecom.

Genre: Strong language, love, angst, music, school life,

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Regalia is the school for dreamers and achievers. It is a school for widely talented people and you have always wanted to go there. The place that most idols, authors, and painters come from; was the university that you wanted to go too… And the university you were accepted to.

The exciting news sent chills through your spine as you thought of your exciting new future to come from it… But boy were you wrong…

It all started with your dorm neighbor…

Min Yoongi.

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klaine-run-the-world  asked:

I can't even hide how pissed I'm about this, IDGAF if it's Ricky's fault and not Darren's like ppl say, Darren looks so bad. He doesn't do shit for my community except for going to events to promote his stuff & play lgbt roles, he truly looks like a dudebro who takes advantage of the lgbt community for marketing and MONEY. How is that str8!darren stans can't see how awful he looks as an ~ally~????? The fact that they changed the words bc str8 in the article is GROSS.

Part 2.

There is no doubt they pay for those articles to mention him in those LGBT lists, idc if people disagree, he doesn’t belong there if he is going to sell his str8ness and girlfriend 24/7, idc whose fault is, Darren looks gross as fuck & I hate this. Anyone saying he is a good ally is fucking stupid. Want to sell yourself as an ally? ACT LIKE ONE. But noo he promotes his gf but don’t say shit about the Trans/Trump debacle even tho he played Hedwig. P.s: sorry for the rant. I’m so mad.


First let me just say …. You have no clue how hard it was for me to figure out how to copy and paste the second post to this one on my phone. 😂.

Normally, I dont post these. I just stay away from them because sometime I feel like I like in a totally different worls. I can understand ones annoyance.

However…..I mean did you have this same anger against Wentworth miller? What about Matt? Ricky martin? Ellen? Queen latifah? Kristen Stewart? What about Raven. ( No you know what.. Let’s not include raven cause she nuts and there is plenty to upset with her for 😂 ). I mean Ricky was in every lgtb mag for years. He paraded a host of supermodels and actress as his gf. One for a very long time. Wasn’t until his children were getting ready to be born that he came out because he didnt want to hide them or his partner . you think d team goes haywire on the straight train, have you ever researched old Wentworth press? Hell at one time they thought to make him a man whore just to insure folks knew he was straight. Cause you know its better to be see as a player than gay per the studios.

I mean there is another they choose to go back and fix the wording in the article. But knowing that persons ex, I just had to chuckle about it.

What about mannilow? Who surprising enough lived for years in a similar situation. In fact he moved an assistant into his home and lived with her for years. Folks thought they were married and she was his wife. He is 73 and just now talking about it. Again most knew but he denied til the cow came home.

As I remind x when he feels like he is letting his fans down, he isn’t obligated to do or say anything for his fans. work behind the scenes is just as important.

Just because D chooses to beard does not invalidate what he does behind the scenes. if that is where he feels comfortable, than whatever. Not everyone wants to be or can be as vocal as my minis.

(i mean bearding is all over. like plenty of others here and I am sure there are some you think are cute couples but they arent)

that doesn’t mean I dont understand the annoyance.

There are a lot of out gay males, trans females and etc in Hollywood and they have a difficult time finding work. I mean there is a situation right now where it was decide to cast a woman to play a teams female even though we know there are to trans actresses.

Similar to how… eypgt is in Africa but to have Hollywood paint it, there were only four black folk there and of course they were slaves. 😑😑😑. what about all the mixed woman in Hollywood. (Hell I’m one). but no lets have Angelina Jolie play a mixed black and white woman. but lord we get a black Annie and folks damn near wanted to burn the studio to the ground.

So I get it. I get the anger, the frustration and I won’t belittle those feelings because only you know what you have been though and seen for your journey. Your feelings are valid and they matter.

I just ask that you take a moment and remember that not everyone is at the same place. Some just aren’t ready to be that kind of public. Some need more time. some feel they need cover.

it okay. With the shit going on in this country due to agent orange, all we can do is try to live as best as we can for ourselves and light a candle for those that can’t, or dont want to, or aren’t ready

For @yoichooseno, who wanted dad Jason. Sorry this took so long (and is so short)! I had a bit of trouble with details so it’s purposefully ambiguous about a lot of things.

What the hell am I doing?

He used to think that a lot in the early days. Still does, sometimes. When there’s nobody else around except this tiny child who trusts him so much. And he wonders.

What did I do to deserve this?

He told Stephanie first. Certain members of the family - he doesn’t want to point fingers but, what starts with D, ends in k and rhymes with stick (in the mud)? - never quite forgive him for that. But, in Jason’s defence, he had no fucking idea what to do and according to rumours (aka Oracle) Stephanie is good with kids.

She also happens to be half-way through his window when he realises just how out of his depth he is. Like free-swimming to the Mariana Trench kind of out of his depth.

“Thank god,” Jason breathes when the blonde Bat tumbles off his kitchen bench to land in a crouch on the floor. In the living room, the screaming child throws a book at the TV. Jason winces. “I need your help.”

Stephanie straightens slowly. “If it involves holding a kid for ransom, I’m not interested.”

“I didn’t kidnap him,” Jason snaps. “He’s mine.”

Stephanie blinks, tips her head to the side so she can glance past Jason into the living room. Whatever she sees must satisfy her because after a few seconds she nods her head and peels off her mask. “How can I help?”

Between the two of them, they get the boy calmed down. Then Jason sends Stephanie on a grocery run for child-appropriate food and toys while he child-proofs the apartment. And figures out how to explain the new living arrangement to a distraugt, confused and frustrated toddler.

“Hey sweetie, what’s your name?”


“And how old are you?”

“Three and two quarters!”

“You have to tell B.”

It’s been four weeks and a handful of days since Stephanie rolled through his window, and so far she’s kept her promise not to Bruce or Alfred or his brothers in exchange for letting Cass in on the secret. His sister is currently sitting on the floor with Noah, playing some kind of clapping game that has both their faces taut with concentration.

“I don’t have'ta do anything,” Jason snaps, turning away from the scene on the floor to glare at Stephanie.

“He’s noticed you haven’t been patrolling,” the blonde counters. “And he knows you haven’t left town. So how long d'you think it’ll be before he drops by to check on you?” She nods toward Noah, now showing Cass how to stack wooden blocks to build a bridge. “You really want him to find out you’re affiliated with the Big Bad Bat?”

Jason sighs, runs a hand through his hair. “Not today.” Stephanie opens her mouth to argue and he hurriedly adds, “Soon, okay? Just not now. Let me have today.”

Noah clings tightly to Jason’s hand, both of them staring up at the Manor. One with awe and anticipation. The other with trepidation.

Tim answers the door when Jason finally works up the courage to ring the doorbell, an apple in one hand, his ever-present tablet in the other. He treats Jason to a wary look, eyes widening when they drift down to his small companion. Then he takes a step back. “Um. Come in.”

Noah tugs on Jason’s sleeve so he lifts the kid to sit on his hip as they follow Tim through the Manor to the kitchen. “B here?” he asks.

“He’s in the- uh, he’s downstairs.”

They end up in the kitchen, Jason pausing in the doorway as Alfred turns toward them from the stove and freezes. “Master Jason,” he says, delight overshadowed by surprise. “We weren’t expecting you.”

“Yeah. I…” Jason adjusts his hold on Noah so he can put the kid down on his feet, a reassuring hand on his shoulder when he presses back against Jason’s legs. “Just thought I’d stop by. Wanted you to meet someone.”

Alfred wipes his hands on his apron and comes over to smile down at the child. “And who might this someone be?”

“I’m Noah,” the kid pipes up.

“Hello, Noah,” Alfred says. “I’m Alfred.” He looks up at Jason, question in his eyes, and Jason can only nod. Not like he can deny it; the kid looks enough like him for the relationship to be obvious. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Jason just hopes the next meeting goes half as well.


“Well, Bruce, when a man and a woman-”

“Jason. Do you know who his mother is?”

“What makes you think I’d tell you if I did?”



“How’d he come to you?”

“She died. Child Services called, said I’m the only one she listed as family. No idea how they even got my number, but I wasn’t gonna say no. He’s just a kid.”

Having the rest of the family know about Noah certainly makes Jason’s life easier, if only because it gives him an army of babysitters to choose from whenever the need arises. He’d been unsure about leaving Noah with them at first since the kid had seemed reluctant to form attachments to anyone. But he’d adjusted to having a slew of new aunts and uncles a lot better than he’d adjusted to living with a father he’d never met before.

The first time Jason left him with Alfred, he’d come back to find him colouring with Damian, both of them sitting on floor in the den with Finding Nemo playing in the background and Dick snoring quietly on the couch behind them.

“Uncle Dami’s fun,” Noah had confided to him in the car on the way home. “He showed me how to draw horses.”

The scribble of orange crayon that, if you squinted, did indeed look like a horse, found its home on the fridge in Jason’s apartment. The first of many childish drawings to be collected there.

The first time Noah calls him Daddy, they’re both so shocked they just stare at each other across the table for several long seconds. Then Noah huffs and holds out his hand, demanding more emphatically, “Salt, daddy. Please.”

Jason obligingly sprinkles salt on his pasta.

And later that night, after Noah is safely tucked into bed, he calls Alfred and freaks out because holy shit I’m a father what am I doing?! Alfred just chuckles and says, “Something right, it would seem.”

They settle into a kind of routine. Jason cuts his nighttime activities to almost none, only going out when it’s absolutely necessary and there’s someone free to take care Noah for him. These days his nights are spent cooking and eating dinner with Noah then watching a movie or reading before the child’s bedtime.

“What did I do to deserve you?” Jason’s whispers to the child cradled in his arms, nuzzling baby-soft blond hair that tickles his nose.

Noah turns away from Snow White’s singing to look up at him with serious green eyes and says, “Mama said you made her safe and that made her so happy she had me to always remember.”

Jason chuckles at the innocent explanation, bumping their noses together. “I love you, kiddo.”

“I love you too, daddy.”

anonymous asked:

Hi! Ok so the last two (and only...:/) "Fitzsimmons" scenes were clearly in the domestic abusive violence theme... and adding all other serious themes like non-con/mental rape/chilhood mistreat... and for now non of these have been treated/addressed correctly.. and no, "this was not Fitz" is not enough because he starts to feel guilty for things he didn't do. I know Liz teased a scene, but I don't see any realistic resolution for FS after that, they have gone way too dark and far. :( !?

Hi Anon,

I am not really sure how to properly respond to this.  Just because I don’t take those scenes that way nor to I believe that was how the writers intended them to be doesn’t mean others don’t.  And in no way is it my place to tell anyone otherwise, especially with such serious issues.  

This has been a long arc for Fitzsimmons fans.  And my own frustration levels are through the roof at this point because I just want the nightmare to be over and them to be reunited.  The writers aren’t even trying to hide behind contrived roadblocks right now and are going into them full force.  IE yay we rescued the team Fitzsimmons will be reun…WHAT?!   I personally don’t feel they would be doing that if they didn’t have something bigger planned.  You put a roadblock in the way of something you want to delay.  No, the writers don’t “owe” us a pay off but they are building to one.  Things are on the table and I still think we will get a good ‘reward’ at the end.  

Something I am very guilty of was thinking and expecting Jemma to get Fitz back in the Framework.  But in looking back, that was never going to happen.  This is sci fi not a fairy tale.  Science not magic.  The writers didn’t take the easy true loves kiss will solve it all route.  They were with more difficult/realistic aspect of it.  And with the level of manipulating AIDA did Jemma had no hold on Leopold.  He never knew her, in fact he only knew her as someone who hurt the people he cared the most about.  AIDA used his core traits against Jemma and the team and for her own gain.  

And with the brainwashing stories in the past we’ve seen the team fail to save someone.  Last season while Daisy was Hived, they failed to get through to her in 18 and 19….it took Lash removing the parasites to get her back.  And now in essence we have the same thing Fitz is out of the Framework (the parasites are gone) and he can make his own choices again.  And he will choose to be good.  HERE is a meta I did this morning discussing choice, free will, and how we could see things playing out.

Nor will I disagree we’ve missed this is taking WAY to long exit a couple of miles back.   The writers at least gave us hope last week when we saw Fitz was Fitz when he was awake and before he was taken.  

Since the episode aired myself and others have put out a number of metas on how we can see them starting to recover from this.  HERE HERE HERE are just a few. No one, blames anyone for what happened in the Framework.  They know it wasn’t real, they know they were manipulated, Fitz more than anyone else.  Jemma KNOWS it wasn’t him she KNOWS he was manipulated.  Its a dark story yes, I won’t deny that either.  But in Fitz having guilt it shows he is himself.  Fitz had guilt for what Radcliffe had done with the things he’d created.  He had remorse for killing Will even though Will was Hive and had tried to kill him.  Fitz also had a bit of remorse in the Framework with Agnes, until his father stepped in and re enforced the programming.  

Jemma wasn’t able to save him in the Framework but to me it means she IS going to save him in the real world.  

There will be aftermath for everyone.  Will we get to see the recovery, no.  We are going to miss 99% of it.  I will be blunt that isn’t what the show is about.  We’ll see echoes of it but they will not dedicate the time to us seeing them recover.  We didn’t see all of Bobbi’s recovery, when we came back she was at the tail end of it.   We knew it happened we know some of what it entailed, but they didn’t show a lot of it.  Bobbi is just one example too.   Daisy, Jemma, Fitz, May, and Coulson all had recoveries we missed the majority of  I know that’s not the answer a lot of people want but its what this show does.   

I don’t know if that helped at all but I really wasn’t sure what to say.  

How to Become a Witch in Ten Easy Lessons - (1/5)-A CS Modern Fantasy AU

Rating: T for Teen

Word Count: Approx 10K+

Summary:  Emma Swan leads a quiet, solitary life, that is until a tragedy temporarily saddles her with three recently displaced orphans. Three recently displaced orphans who make quick work of discovering one of the reasons for her solitude and threaten to confirm the rumors swirling around town about her, unless she can do something to help them, something that will require the assistance of a mysterious Professor who isn’t quite what he seems either.

Notes: A birthday gift for the wonderful @phiralovesloki though I’m having so much fun writing it it’s really a gift to me, which is typical of her I think. I hope your birthday is filled with magic and lots of cake, you deserve tons of both. You are a bright spot in this fandom and I absolutely adore you.

And finally my love and thanks to my instrumental wifey @caprelloidea for making this better and generally being the best person in the world. 

On AO3


The little yellow bug puttered to a stop in front of him, the engine dying with one final shudder and a startling, but not wholly unexpected, bang. The poor, unfortunately colored thing had been on its last legs for years now, yet she refused to let it go, a ridiculous vehicle for a very serious woman. The serious woman in question eyed him warily as she got out, one hand resting on the top of the door.

“How are they?” Emma asked, her eyes flicking to the glass doors of the station, as if trying to catch a glimpse that could answer her question before she actually had to face them in person.

“A bit shaken up no doubt, but the good doctor cleared them. No signs of injury. Which is good news,” Graham rocked back on his heels. “Some of the sisters weren’t so lucky. Burnt pretty bad from what I hear.”

Emma slammed the door of the bug closed with perhaps a bit more force than necessary, equal parts frustrated by the situation and afraid of it.

“And the home?”

He made a sympathetic clicking noise with his mouth as he reached around her to get the door.

“A smoking pile of rock by this point.”

“Damnit,” Emma took a deep breath, stepping over the threshold into the dim lobby beyond.

She had hoped that there was still some part of it that was salvageable.  The fire department had been battling valiantly when she’d been called to another scene, Graham offering to stay behind. It was after hours now, the only light peeking out from the office in the back, the rest of the station shut down for the night.

“And you’re positive no one else can take them in?” Emma asked desperately, one final plea for good measure. They had been over this hours ago, a stilted discussion across the walkies, but it didn’t hurt to check.

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Dialing my delusional level down to 1% because it’s impossible for me to actually turn it off…

So, Beth Greene got shot in the head and from a medical standpoint it probably wouldn’t have killed her instantly, because of where the bullet entered and exited, so realistically she should have lingered at least for the few minutes it takes to bleed out, from… I dunno, a cavernous hemangioma?

But, whatever. She died instantly, because the plot demanded it and the bullet changed direction in mid-air, because the plot demanded it

So, Beth. Really dead. 99% sure.

As a fan, I demand an explanation because WTF of all WTFs.

But I don’t deserve an explanation, as I’m just a stupid Beth fan and true good, shiny fans of TWD never question TPTB or point out the flaws of the show, they just eat whatever they are fed without discernment.

There are some people though, who I think do deserve an explanation and that also happens to be the people responsible. If they don’t know why this is a good idea themselves, then it’s probably not a good idea.

Right? How’s that for logic?

And yes, I am aware that they offered explanations, but these limited responses are decidedly weakass.

So, since we don’t actually know who’s idea this was (Kirkman blamed this tipo but how often does Kirkman lie to/gaslight his fans? A lot, is the answer) I’m going to try and put on some different TPTB hats and explore their deal. Because each one of them would’ve had to have been talked into it, by themselves, or by someone else.

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anonymous asked:

Could you tell me some about your age reveral au? I'd like to hear it!


buckle in and welcome to the can of worms you’ve just opened, friend. i’ve only got little bits and pieces of this idea in mind but i will be glad to talkies.

thIS IS SUPER TL;DR JUST VERY WARNING. i am incredibly sorry to mobile users. ):

edit: oh my god the fucking read more is not working in the dashboard

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Dinner Date

I’m sure you guys have a long list of requests but can I get a very smutty imagine of Tay from watic and Jenna from tonight alive. Like where they’re both off tour and they’re a couple living together and Tay decides to take Jenna out for a nice dinner date but teases her throughout dinner then takes her home and hot smut. Sorry so detailed but that would be really great please and thank you

could you pleasepleaseplease do a slightly kinky one with Tay Jardine and Jenna McDougall?

A here! Multiple POVs again because smut in 3rd person is weird for me to write. Combined these two cuz no plot in the second! I hope I did the slightly kinky you wanted. (Maybe too long)

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Favorite Scene From Each Episode of Veronica Mars Day 21: A Trip to the Dentist, Evening, or Admissions Against Interest Revisited (Logan’s Willpower)

[Previous Installment: Favorite Scene From Each Episode of Veronica Mars Day 21, Noon: A Trip to the Dentist, or, Doubletalk in the Kitchen]

What is Logan’s best moment in “A Trip to the Dentist?” His response to Veronica’s apology on the couch in her apartment? His public choosing of her over his friends when they are outed? Maybe it comes in the poolhouse:”I can’t take that I hurt you when all I want to do is protect you.” There is a large subjective element in such a determination, and in any case, this is (following susanmichelin‘s lead for the game) about choosing a favorite, which is clearly subjective.

I believe a certain moment in the poolhouse is one of Logan’s most impressive moments in the entire series, even if his true redemption still has to wait for a while. It is a tough one to pick, in some ways, because it also recalls some of his ugliest moments: his confession to Veronica of his misdeeds towards her and Duncan at Shelly Pomeroy’s party.

The gist of what I will (eventually) get at with respect to Logan’s confession can be summed up by the notion of an “admission against interest.” I will quote myself discussing this from an earlier post on An Echolls Family Christmas, not because it is a great definition, but because I am too lazy to try and do better at the moment.

An “admission against interest” is  a statement making the original writer or source (or that source’s biases) look bad. Such an admission  is considered more reliable than other compared to other, similar pieces of evidence. For example, a soldier’s journal in which he records his war crimes might be considered more reliable as historical than his enemies’ claims that he committed war crimes. (I am not a historian or lawyer, so forgive me if this is a misuse of the term. I am not trying to be technical or sophisticated in its use).

While “An Echolls Family Christmas” hinted at a Rashomon effect, “A Trip to the Dentist” goes all the way. “A Trip to the Dentist” gives us several witnesses from Shelly Pomeroy’s party giving different accounts of events through which Veronica sorts while trying to discover the truth about what happened to her that night. As we know from having watched the whole series, while Veronica finally does discover the essential truth about what happened to her, she never really gets the full details. It is even debatable how much more she wanted to know. Her own interpretation is that she and Duncan had drugged and “consensual” sex (a worthwhile and important debate, but one I will sidestep here) after Cassidy Casablancas raped her. Given that Cassidy claimed his own crime in “Not Pictured,” a clear admission against interest if there ever was one, we can be safe in assuming that is true.

(Important side note: there are obviously many important moral and ethical questions worth addressing with respect to the party, and I am not denying those. However, they are simply too big and important for me to do justice to here. Since my point here is about comparing the reliability of self-interested testimonials, I mostly leave those questions aside for the sake of keeping an already-overly-long post more manageable and semi-coherent.)

During her investigation, Veronica talks to witnesses who give her accounts of different parts of her evening. Some of the accounts conflict with others. In addition to the contradictions, are at least three other (often interrelated) issues regarding the reliability of the witnesses’ testimonies: general problems of memory (the party was a year in the past), some of the witnesses were intoxicated at the party, and, most relevant for my purposes here, most the testimonials are (to varying degrees) likely to be biased and distorted (even without taking into account conflicts) because of the interests of those testifying.

The likely distortions (conscious or otherwise) via interest are obvious in some cases. Madison remembers Veronica being all over Dick, but this is likely because it is better than thinking her boyfriend is being that much of a cad (to put it mildly), especially with a girl Madison despises. Madison may actually remember things that way, but it is likely not true given what we know about Veronica, Veronica’s state at the time, Veronica’s opinion of Dick, and Madison’s hatred of her. Moreover, Madison is justifying her defacing of Veronica’s car (reported to Veronica by Luke), so she needs Veronica to be the “bad girl who deserved it.”

Cassidy, Dick, and Sean tell different versions of the same events. Obviously, the later revelations about Cassidy in “Not Pictured” shows his big lie. Just in the context of “A Trip to the Dentist,” all three boys were clearly distorting the truth to make themselves look better (although still horrible), and it is difficult to tell which of their accounts is closest to the actual truth. Plotwise, these would be the crucial accounts, but the takeaway here is that they are obviously problematic. Not only do versions contradict each other, but the conflicts themselves are likely due to their self-interested origin.

More curious are the accounts of the (relatively speaking) “good people” at the party.

At first, Luke’s version of events seems less loaded with interest to protect himself. He is not really an agent according to his recollections. If he had known the whole truth of what went down (or if he had known Veronica was trying to figure out who raped her), he probably would have not have admitted to giving the GHB to Dick to give to Madison. However, Luke tries to cover up the admission (although Dick was pretty clear about how he was going to use the doses).  Luke’s claim that he only thought Dick “was gonna take one and ask [Madison] to take the other one” is dubious, given Luke’s observations about Dick’s state of frustration and Madison’s attitude.

Casey comes off a bit better than Luke. Veronica had already heard from Madison about the alleged make out with Casey. Casey’s account of how Dick treated Veronica seems more trustworthy than Madison’s or Dick’s, at least, and reveals that Veronica was being fed shots by Sean and Dick. Even on his own version of events, though, Casey hardly comes off as noble, since he saw what was going on and did nothing to stop it. This does not seem to register with him. Maybe he did not egg the others on or participate in the abuse of Veronica, but it would not have been in his interest to admit it if he was. Perhaps things really went down the way Casey said they did, but even if he hardly comes off as a hero in his story, it does paint him as being innocent (relatively speaking) in comparison to the actions he imputes to the likes of Dick and Sean.

Two characters to whom we are inclined to be more sympathetic, Meg Manning and Carrie Bishop, obviously have far less to hide than the boys at the party. They did not commit any crimes. Yet even their accounts of their actions can be questioned with respect to their self-interest. Meg (reluctantly) does tell  Veronica about the salt lick and the rescue. It all seems fine on the surface. However, Meg makes it sound like she was really wanting to help Veronica, while Cole did not. It is easy to believe Meg, because she is so easy to like, but it does seems a bit self-serving, as if she was really trying to get Cole to help Veronica but he just would not. Perhaps Meg felt some guilt. Moreover (and I hate for there to be a “moreover” because I really like her), given the later events in the episode, one might also wonder whether Meg really did not know (as she claimed) that it was Duncan who helped Veronica get away from the salt lick.

Carrie Bishop (who has Veronica’s badass attitude without the accompanying superpowers) was likable from almost the first moment we met her in “Mars vs. Mars.” In this episode, her delivery on “Oh, god. Shut the door next time” is worth the price of admission alone. We do not hear what Carrie says she saw, but the flashback sequence seems to show her recalling a mutual encounter in which Veronica is pulling off Duncan’s shirt. Is that really how Carrie remembered it, or did she (consciously or otherwise) fill in details to assuage lingering doubts or guilt about what she saw and how she reacted?

Duncan is a loaded case. Again, the point here is not to determine what he is or is not guilty of doing, but rather to look at what he admits in relation to his self-interest. The first thing that stands out is how Duncan actually changes his story as he and Veronica interact. When Veronica first confronts him, he does not admit doing anything, but acts as if he does not remember: “What are you talking about…. Do you know how wasted I was at Shelly’s party? I-I barely even remember it. The whole night’s a blur.”

It is only after Veronica confronts him with Carrie having seen Duncan naked and on top of Veronica that he regains his memory, and switches to the “you were there, too” version of events. Instead of having no recollection of the evening from being wasted, he now remembers having sex with Veronica. According to Duncan, the sex was consensual. Of course, given later revelations, we know (though Duncan does not) that Duncan had been dosed by Logan, which cannot be simply discounted. Still, we do not really know how “wasted” and in control of himself Duncan might or might not have been. His own story shifts, showing that he remembered more than he initially was willing to tell. And his memory just so happens to paint his sexual encounter with Veronica as consensual, obviously in line with his interests. None of this proves that Duncan’s version of events is false, but the fact that it makes his actions seem less awful combined with his sudden recollection of events when confronted with what Carrie Bishop saw makes his account suspect.

That is a long path to get around to Logan’s confession, but it was necessary (though perhaps not at that length) for the sake of comparison. Veronica has dealt with many people over two (?) days giving versions of events who, to varying degrees, might be seen as painting themselves in a more positive light than in reality. Logan’s confession, when it comes to the important parts, does not do that.

Recall the context: Logan has just accepted Veronica’s apology and told her that he would be there for whatever she needs. After they are outed in front of all their friends, Logan stands up for Veronica and basically publically chooses her over everyone else – including his best friend, Duncan, who leaves, much to Logan’s chagrin.

After Veronica’s encounter with Madison (which finally reveals how Veronica got [accidentally] drugged), Veronica and Logan retire to the poolhouse. The mood shift can be summed up by Veronica’s clothing (via cheshirecatstrut‘s theory of colors): Veronica’s Green Jacket of Vulnerability is removed, revealing her Red Shirt of Lust. She behaves accordingly, pushing Logan down on the bed and initially ignoring his pleas to stop.

Is at this moment that Logan chooses to make his confession. Their respective physical positions, sexual at first, become symbolic of Logan’s being at her mercy while he voluntarily and unbidden surrenders the truth – Veronica on top of him, his neck bared to her. This stands in stark contrast to the other witnesses Veronica interviewed. Most of them were reluctant to tell her about the events of the party. She had to seek them out, and, in some instances, drag the truth (such as it was) out of them. In the poolhouse, Veronica just wants to make out (at the very least), she does not suspect him of anything or ask him anything; “we’re past the confessional portion of this program. We’re on to the make out.”

Logan has nothing obvious to gain by confessing here. His behavior on the couch on her apartment was proper, but made himself look good and did not cost him anything. Standing up for her at the party was admirable, as well, and probably cost him his friendship with Duncan (whatever we may think of Duncan, he mattered to Logan), but that also could be taken as (in part) trying to play the good boyfriend in front of Veronica. It is not clear exactly how much Logan’s social standing is ever really threatened – see, for example, how quickly Dick backs down or how Madison tries to make (fake) small talk with Veronica.

In the poolhouse, it is just the two of them and Veronica is all over him. Logan is not just making a show of doing the right thing here to impress her. As far as he knows, Veronica does not know what he is about to tell her. To be fair, he might have suspected she would hear about him running the salt lick. She had (probably from Meg’s description), and, true to form, Veronica wants to classify the salt lick as “not real.” Veronica’s desire to simply forget rather than deal with far more difficult task of forgiveness is not enough to stop Logan, though. He could simply have stopped there, content with having gained more trust from her by admitting to the salt lick voluntarily, even though she turned to know about it.

While Veronica is the truth seeker who tends to deny or ignore or glide over the big truths, Logan is the one who so often omits truths but is forced to face the big ones. He was not done with the story about the salt lick. “There’s more.” Others could have seen his involvement with the salt lick, but only Logan knew about drugging Duncan. Logan could have gotten away with it. Instead, he tells Veronica about his grievous misdeed, which not only makes himself look worse, but makes Duncan, Logan’s rival, look better. Unlike everyone else who saw Veronica that night, Logan not only admits the truth in a way that is clearly against his self-interest, but, unlike pretty much everyone else involved, takes responsibility for his actions. Logan may have forgotten or altered a minor detail or two, but given how it makes him look, it is difficult to doubt that Logan gave Veronica the essential truth as he saw it.

However one feels about Logan and that for which he  (as well as the others) is or is not responsible, or however one thinks Veronica should have reacted, the likely essential trustworthiness of Logan’s admission against interest is difficult to doubt. At the risk of ending on an overly crass note, Logan’s admission is made even more impressive and trustworthy given the situation. Veronica is all over him on the heels of his white knight moment at the party, and Logan is experienced enough to know where this is going. It is impossible to say exactly how far things would have gone had Logan not stopped to confess, but it seemed likely that something in the “sex family” (as bryrosea, I believe, put it) was going to happen. For a 16-year-old boy to confess to things that would potentially put the kibosh on that, and, less crassly, for Logan to risk his relationship with pretty much the only person left in the world who really cares about him is an incredibly impressive act of willpower.

[Screenshots are from vm-caps.com; quotes from the show are from vmtranscripts.com]

How Sherlock deduced Irene's password

pammerjo asked: “in ASiB, when Sherlock, Irene and Mycroft are in Mycroft’s (office?)- M. says “the dominatrix who brought a nation to it’s knees” and S. opens his eyes and sucks in his breath. How did he go from that to figuring out the password?”

This is an amazing question. But first, we need to back up. Because Sherlock’s deduction process begins before the “dominatrix” line.

Irene turns away from Mycroft to the sulking Sherlock, no doubt because she knew her next words would have an impact. Unfortunately for Irene, those words triggered her undoing:

She turns back to Mycroft, but Sherlock’s onto something now. If he’s not in his mind palace, he’s at least staring at it from across the moat.

We get another close-up of his face when Irene says Jim calls him “The Virgin.” But look at Sherlock’s eyes.

He hears Irene, but his attention is focused elsewhere. He’s connecting dots, putting it all together. 

“I think he just likes to cause trouble…now that’s my kind of man,” says Irene of Jim, and Sherlock closes his eyes. Concentration intensifies.

“The dominatrix who brought a nation to its knees,” says Mycroft, but before the sentence is complete, Sherlock’s eyes open and he takes a deep breath.

He’s got it. 

“Nicely played,” Mycroft tells Irene, but Sherlock disagrees.

“I said no. Very very close, but no.”

Somehow, in between Jim Moriarty sends his love and the dominatrix who brought a nation to its knees, Sherlock has figured out Irene’s password. She clearly triggered his deduction process with her mention of Jim. So how did that go?

Here’s how I imagine Sherlock’s thought process working in this half-minute. I’m going to do my best to visually connect the dots the way I imagine Sherlock does in his mind palace.

jim moriarty sends his love, jim helped plan this, jim sends his love

[“i will burn the heart out of you”]

the virgin, inexperienced in love, [“who the hell knows about Sherlock Holmes but for the record, if anyone out there still cares, I’m not actually gay” “and i am, look at us both”]

(john didn’t deny it, why didn’t he deny it) [“are you jealous?” “we’re not a couple” “yes you are]

“you looked sexy on crimewatch" “let’s have dinner” “I’m not hungry, let’s have dinner”

"you flirted with Sherlock Holmes" ”are you jealous?“ FOCUS

the passcode, 221B, 1058, WRONG, "I assumed you’d choose something more specific than that…”

“you’re rather good,” “you’re not so bad,” “HAMISH. John Hamish Watson, if you’re looking for babynames, i assumed you’d choose something more specific

“would you have dinner with me," pulse elevated, pupils dilated, the chemistry’s incredibly simple, sentiment, love, i assumed you’d choose something more specific, if you’re looking for names, I AM  –


Of all the episodes, ASiB is the most difficult to write metas about, simply because (in my opinion) it’s the one that challenges our ability to see through heteronormativity the most. "Oh come on – why would John have anything to do with Sherlock’s deducing Irene’s password?" 

Well…because Sherlock tells us so. The Coventry/Hamish scene is the last time we see John. It’s pretty much the last time Sherlock sees John, too – he figures out the Coventry plot right after John’s jealous outburst, and then…

Irene texts Jim

Jim texts Mycroft

Mycroft is fuuuucked

so he sends some dudes to interrupt Sherlock and Irene’s "romantic” fireside chat, chews his brother out for falling for some dame, and here we are.

One of the most frustrating (and realistic) things about this episode is that the Battersea conversation clearly had an enormous impact on both John and Sherlock, but they never discuss it with one another. However, that doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking about it

It’s clear that conversation, all the questions (“are you jealous?” “we’re not a couple”) Sherlock has regarding John are very much a part of his thought process when it comes to deducing Irene’s password. Why?

Because John hasn’t been present nor mentioned since the Coventry deduction, and yet when Sherlock figures out Irene’s password in this scene, he says:

Because I took your pulse. Elevated - pupils dilated. I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me but the chemistry is incredibly simple, and very destructive.”

I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me. Who the hell knows about Sherlock Holmes.

What Sherlock overheard at Battersea is still very obviously on his mind.

It’s the same reason we see Sherlock confronting a naked Irene in his mind palace during his “Hamish” deduction at John’s wedding. When it comes to Sherlock’s thoughts on love and sex as pertains to him, the Battersea conversation – look at us both – tied these two together in his mind.

A comforting encounter

Movie: The maze Runner ( AU)

Characters: Newt x Reader

Heavy rain drops fell from the sky and they landed on the ground of Paris gracefully without any effort. The raindrops that fell on me as I sat on an open bench in the park felt like diamonds being thrown at me from above continuously. However, it was nothing compared to the pain that has been caused by the hole in my heart.  I sniffled and tried to stop the ceaseless flow of tears from my eyes with the sleeves of my shirt by wiping them away. It helped at first but stopped the moment my stone- hearted mind decided to replay the horrifying images in my head. Flashbacks of my boyfriend, well now ex- boyfriend, making out with a random, hot, blonde Parisian invaded my the walls of strength I had in my mind and whispers of discouragement circled around me.

Heartbreak. Confusion. Anger. These feelings that flowed through me like warm honey had the inner part of me running around in circles, desperate for an answer.   What the reasons he had for cheating on me? Was I not good enough for him? How stone -hearted can he be to cheat on me on New Year’s Eve and especially in the city of love? As I sat on the bench that was located beside the tree, I angrily kicked a small rock that was near me but it didn’t move. At all..

Moving further forward, I tried again to kick it and this time it moved but the distance it covered was barely an inch.  I gaped at it in both disbelief and irritation.

“ Stupid goddamn rock.” I violently stood up from my seat and kicked the innocent rock once more with all the force I had, now drenched with rainwater as I was no longer under the protection of the lovely tree. It flew from where it was positioned and into the clear lake that was near me before, I waited for the sense of satisfaction for fulfilling my small goal. But, it never came and it never replaced the dying feeling in me.

“ What did that innocent rock ever do to you to deserve to be treated in such cruel way like that?” A british accent voice interrupted the silence surrounding me and I looked up, my eyes red and cheeks tear stained.  A tall man with dirty blonde disheveled hair and brown like bambi eyes looked at me, a face that seemed to mix with concern and amusement painted on him.  A huge black umbrella that could have kept half of Paris dry was held above his head and as he stood there staring at me, he was biting his red cherry lip, probably to prevent himself from laughing at my pathetic actions. I shrugged and looked at him with a unamused face on me.

“ Why don’t you just go away and stop bothering other people’s business. Just leave me alone is all I ask from you,” I could hear the iciness in my voice and the usual jubilee that I always carry with me where ever I go was nowhere to be found. I have turned into one of those emotionless people who simply seems to be in a bad mood all year round and has never bothered about showing any happiness towards the others surround them. Well, no thanks to my bastard of an ex boyfriend for causing me to be like this.

The man raised his eyebrows and this time the corners of his lips were lifting as he looked right back at me with his free hand hidden in his coat’s pocket.  " Why ever should I leave a beautiful girl alone when she is in need of some comfort from the tears that roll from her eyes?“ His words sounded like they were from a poetry and an unexpected flow of happiness started flowing through me as soon as I heard those words from his mouth.

I raised both my eyebrows at him and tried to stop myself from smiling but failed miserably.

” Are you actually flirting with me?“ I asked, a hint of tease and laughter in my voice.   With amused eyes I watched his reaction and all I caught was a glimpse of red in his cheeks before he shrugged and then flashed me a huge bright smile at me. I felt my inner self swoon and it was if that smile was the stars in my current darkness.  

” Maybe I am or maybe I’m just trying to be friendly,“ He placed his free hand that was left by his side into the pocket of his pants and stood there, staring. I chuckled at his pathetic yet somewhat amusing comment and shook my head, smiling.

I cocked my head to the side as I looked at him with playfully narrowed eyes. ” If you were trying to be friendly, you wouldn’t have called me beautiful.“

” Well isn’t that a bit rude of you to question my compliment. A true lady should only accept it with a simple thank you and never ask about it, you know.“  

” I never really considered myself to be a true lady, so I don’t really think that rule applies to me anyways. Thus, I am free to question anything that I want.“ The sadness that was once in me was all of a sudden gone and replaced with a tingling sensation of amusement and I couldn’t help but embrace it. Whatever this bickering was going on between me and the man who stood in front of me was putting my mind away from the negative thoughts for once and I was glad for it.  Grateful too for this man’s presence.

He screwed his face up in a look that only had confusion and disbelief written on it before he moved forward to take a seat on the bench beside me. He held the huge umbrella above both of our heads and the familiar sensation of raindrops falling onto me stopped.

” Now you’re just talking nonsense, all women is a true lady themselves but its whether they choose to behave and believe that they are one. So despite your lack of believing, sadly, the rules still apply to you whether you like it or not but I believe I’ll let this one slip for now. “

” Well that’s a bummer. “ Both the man and I chuckled at my response before silence finally settled in again. I could feel the man’s eyes staring at me but I didn’t look back. As I sat there, just watching the raindrop fall onto the ground, the seconds that passed felt like long minutes.

I heard the man beside me take in a deep breath before he started again, ” So, you never really got to the reason why you were crying really badly just now..“

I turned my head from the direction of the floor to him again, only to have his worried yet inquisitive eyes meet mine. I bit my lip down hard as I debated on whether or not I should spill out my story to him since he was a stranger after all but some part of me was telling me to go for it. It was telling me that maybe spilling everything out may help but I wasn’t exactly sure whether it would help or not.

” Well..“ I shifted my vision of direction from him to my hands that were placed in my lap and began playing with them as the memories flashed before me. ” I kind of caught my boyfriend cheating on me with another woman and you know I just burst into tears of frustration and sadness and ended up crying. I mean, its pretty cliche and short but that’s all I can summarize it in simple words. “

I felt my heart ache as I recalled the scenes in my head and like a river flowing, the sadness that I felt before began to invade me again.  From the corner of my eye, I saw sympathy began to flood the man’s face.

” Well then, I think your boyfriend is an idiot for dumping someone beautiful like you. You deserve better than that bastard so stop thinking about him yeah?“ He gave my hand a comforting rub when he realised I was clenching my hands into fists and I immediately released them, not aware of what I had been doing. I smiled a small smile in the man’s direction at his sweet words and let out a sigh, before turning to face him again.

” I- well thank you for that but how about you then? Why are you just roaming around the streets alone?“

The man chuckled at the question and shook his head with a smile on his face as if flashing back to the memories that were in his mind. ” My friends decided to ditch our plans that we had at first for their girlfriends and since I don’t have one, I was left out of the idea. Pretty sad but its actually alright.“ He spoke as if it was something that happened frequently and I felt my eyebrows furrowing when I heard him say that he didn’t have a girlfriend. How was that even possible? I was certain that many girls would be chasing after him especially because of his looks.

” Then.. what were your plans before all of that happened?“

” Well, we were planning to head to the Eiffel Tower to see the view from there and I did actually consider going there myself, but I figured it would just kill me from all the loneliness I would get.“ He reached into his front pocket that seemed to be stuffed with items and pulled out 4 tickets that were familiar. I nodded my head in acknowledgement before an idea flickered in my mind.

” Maybe.. if you would like, shall I go with you to the Eiffel Tower instead? I mean that is if you want me too cause I really do need to take my mind off things.“

A smile flickered on the mans face almost  immediately upon hearing my words and he pulled out a ticket, passing it to me.

” Sounds like a great idea to me, two lost souls together after being ditched by others.“ He took my hand hastily, pulling me up, and I chuckled at his child like excitement.

” You never really told me your name before though, mine’s (y/n) (y/l/n).“

The man smiled at me before putting out his hand like handshake being offered. ” Issac. Issac Newton"

SnK 78 Thoughts

Why blow up an entire area full of enemy combatants when you can completely derail that strategy to dramatically shout your only friend’s name to the high heavens?

Bertolt, he lived through having his skull chopped off. He can deal with the ultimate bellyflop.

Not to say that it wouldn’t be a risk, but really Bertolt, way to kill the dramatic tension. Oh look, death is coming from above, everybody run!


That sound.


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My Advice and Tips On Fanfic Writing

So I’ve had some people asking or encouraging me to share my advice on writing. A lot of this is based on years of experience and trial-and-error as a writer for both fanfics and original stories. I am by no means a perfect writer. Nor do I claim to be high, mighty, famous and that everyone should follow this like the law. I just thought this would be fun for me and (hopefully) beneficial for you. So…here are some of my tips on how to write better fics in the crazy, wonderful world of fanfiction.

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Crazy In Love

Request – made by anonymous: can i make a scenario request where you and wonho are friends with benefits but then you end up accidentally getting pregnant? its your choice if you want to add smut, angst, or fluff. ^^ thank you~ 

Word count: 2K+
Writer: Mitsuv
Pairing: You aka Jihyun + Wonho of MONSTA X
Genre: Smut, Angst, Slice of Life
Rating: 17+ | this contains vulgar wording and smutty scenes as well as the use of alcohol, triggering thoughts of abortion is also linked – WARNING: if you cannot handle what’s written, please exit out! Also, I am not responsible for underage reading. You have been warned.

INFO: This is my first scenario so I’m extremely nervous! goes to hide but without further ado, I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless! p.s. I couldn’t choose if I wanted smut, angst, or fluff so I gave you a duo: smut and angst! 

The way his hands would glide against her soft skin would always send her in a trance filled with thoughts that would cause shameful looks of both parents that conceived her. His warmth, his girth, his pressure, everything that came with him consumed her thoughts 24/7. It wasn’t healthy but what relationship of that only needing each other for a release was healthy anyway? However, she was fixated and the thought of wanting to claim him hers was tempting but if only he was capable of looking at her and only her would she then have the courage to ask if this “friends with benefits” thing was an actual thing he still considered. Foolish thoughts began to swirl throughout her head and before she knew it, she was sent into euphoria once the pressure of the bottom of her middle began to heat, pooling him with eternal tightness that soon released his hold into hers. His grunts, moans, and breathless manner sent her into overdrive as she rode hers out and gave a breathless grin.

“That… was…” Wonho’s breathless acts were only repetitive as she edged himself out from her and laid right beside, as if it didn’t occur to him anymore for the matter of fact of doing this for over a hundred times.

“Amazing.” Jihyun finished for him and turned her head to see that toothy grin of his as he leaned down to grace her lips with his. Bad move because now her heart swelled up with this fixation of love conforming from this little game of “friends with benefits”. It was dangerous but what would you have expected from a girl who was never experienced with this type of thing? Never touched a single male in her life until he came along and when he came, boy did he make his mark.

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Someone stop me from thinking so hard about this stupid show

I was just watching Shut Up, Dr. Phil in my rewatch and I had a terrible realization about Sam’s side of things in the aftermath of Amy’s death as it relates to his perspective on Dean’s spiraling behavior.

So, the first time we see Dean in the episode he’s having the nightmare about Cas, Sam’s hallucinations, and killing Amy. These flashes spell out for the audience what’s dragging Dean down throughout the episode. Sam comments constantly throughout the episode about Dean’s drinking and tries multiple times to get him to open up, until very plainly bringing it up to Dean at the end.

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a bunch of disjointed thoughts wrt to some of the conversations around finch in poi fandom rn

  • people seem to lay the blame for samaritan rising and wreaking havoc solely on harold and decisions he made which seems incredibly unfair because it’s not, yknow, actually his fault but decima’s. they are the actual active antagonists here, choosing to do evil.
  • it feels like people forget that as viewers we have a different relationship to moral dilemmas on screen than the characters do. we can evaluate situations from angles that aren’t accessible to them, and we need to keep this in mind when we criticize a character’s diegetic actions.
  • i.e. in hindsight killing the congressman might have been the lesser evil compared to samaritan coming online and we as viewers are able to write it off as not a big deal, after all, what’s one death of a side character we aren’t particularly invested in because he’s barely been characterized to the thousands who’ll die because of samaritan? but to the characters in this show it’s not just a random side character, it’s a person. a person who’s death they’ll have on their conscience in their quest to do good
  • and for all of fandom’s talk on slippery slopes, and of how harold’s need to maintain a rigid moral standard is therefore somehow comparable to samaritan (something i still don’t logically follow) i’m actually baffled as to how no one can see that this is just as much of a slippery slope. if you start to justify unethical behaviour like killing innocent people who haven’t done anything wrong yet besides having wrong opinions on government surveillance on your mission to do good, where do you draw the line? how many deaths are acceptable before the good guys stop being good?
  • the same goes for root’s and harold’s argument around closed and open systems. don’t get me wrong, i completely sympathize with root’s frustration around this and how the machine could be so much more useful in their fight against samaritan, but there’s a reason why harold coded the machine as a closed system and that reason is samaritan. sure, the machine would be freer to operate on its own, and people could access its many useful functions better and that would be tremendously helpful. but the reason why harold was so invested in keeping a human element in deciding these matters was exactly because of situations like the congressman. a machine doesn’t care for moral dilemmas, it evaluates probabilities and acts accordingly. if people have to die for the best possible outcome to occur, so be it. that’s the logic samaritan operates on. if the machine starts viewing certain people’s deaths as acceptable in pursuit of the endgoal and there’s no way for anyone to do anything about that, where do you draw the line? and how do you stop people from misusing the machine the way decima misused samaritan?
  • the reason why viewers put so much faith in the machine to do good as an open system and that’s why they think root is right is because unlike samaritan, the machine was built around harold’s moral compass. the same moral compass that’s being so heavily decried by so many people right now.
  • people are seemingly incapable of understanding that both sides have a completely valid point here. it’s not just root having a right opinion and harold stubbornly pushing back against that for no reason. 
  • e.g. when harold finally gave in and did what everyone wanted him to do and used the machine the way root wanted, it ended in over 60 prison inmates escaping their cells because collateral damage didn’t matter at all to the machine’s mission. this is not actually a good thing.

and another thing, this one more personal:

  • i understand that this is partly tied up in people’s frustration with root’s death and the way its emotional impact was used to motivate harold to reconsider his viewpoint with regards to closed systems. i hate this aspect of the show just as much, and being frustrated at female characters, especially lesbians, being killed off to further men’s storylines is completely valid and understandable and i share that frustration.
  • but i’m incredibly uncomfortable with the direction some of these conversations around this have taken. a perfect example would be the scene in 5x11 in which harold talks about his relationship to pain. as a disabled person who deals with chronic pain daily, has issues with viewing that pain as self-punishment and has for all intents and purposes given up on hoping for a time where i am ever not in pain, regardless of my other circumstances, that scene was incredibly powerful for me. it rang true, and made me happy, and was especially amazing to see because people like me usually just don’t get disabled characters to look up to, especially ones who engage with the realities that come with that frankly and openly in media.
  • then, after watching the episode, i logged on and found so many people dismissing this moment as worthless and bad because “who cares about his manpain”  because people in this fandom seem to continually forget that harold finch is disabled and it affects him profoundly and i can’t even begin to describe how much that hurts to read.
  • like, people genuinely didn’t even consider that this was in regards to literal pain, not emotional pain, because they completely forgot, literally completely forgot, that he’s disabled
  • people need to take more care in how they frame their discussion of this. there is a line between being rightfully angry at the way straight men are being prioritized over non-straight women, and completely bulldozing over the fact that harold finch, despite being straight, white and male, is still incredibly vital representation for disabled people, especially visibly disabled people, and that the emotional ties disabled people like me therefore have to him are incredibly similar to the ties lesbians (like me!) and other non-straight women have to root.
  • that’s all