just look at this bastard

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(On Victuuri)

A normal person: How did Yuuri get this lucky?

Me, an intellect: How the fuck did Victor get this lucky???

well now i’m on an aliens kick. also, i just went in my kitchen to get some ice water and walked in on a fucking roach orgy because no matter how much i clean this apartment is fucking ghetto so let’s talk about how aliens would react to human pest control methods.

“Why is Stacy cleaning the dishware? We have cleaning robots to do that for her,” asked Qwerty (his full name was much, much longer, but because it was written with every letter of one of the more commonly used human alphabets, and something about early digital communications, the humans on the I.S. Dastallria had given him the nickname). 

Xorzit’ket shrugged as best as her anatomy could manage the borrowed gesture. “Why don’t you go ask her?” 

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~ A Scrapped Fic: Honey ~

Request: I would love a Bucky smut where he and reader have to go undercover as a married couple.

Summary: You were supposed to go on an undercover mission with Steve, not the man you despised- James Buchanan Barnes. 

Warnings: smut, slight angst

A/N: This was the first attempt for an old request that I ended up writing a whole different story for and I reread what I had written and decided I didn’t actually hate it. So, I finished it and thought I’d post it. Here you go! Also, it’s 5:09 in the morning, I haven’t gone to bed yet, and I just finished writing this so I do apologize if anything is incoherent. Enjoy!


“You’ve got to be shitting me, Steve! I am not going on the mission with him.” You pointed at Bucky, dropping your bag to the ground. 

“Nat needs me on a mission with her, (Y/N), you two will get along fine.” He smiled and rested his hands on your shoulders. “I swear, it’ll be a painless mission. Just pretend you’re a married couple attending the wedding, alright?” 

“I can’t pretend to be married to him! He’s an ass!” You backed out of Steve’s grasp, frustrated that you knew there was no other option. “Damn it, Steve.” You sighed.

“Please, (Y/N).” He shot you his famous puppy dog eyes and pouted his lip. 

“Fine, but you fucking owe me one.” You picked up your bag and pushed passed him, avoiding eye contact with Bucky as you approached the Quinjet.

“I thought Steve was going on the mission with you…” Clint spun around in the pilot’s seat, looking worryingly between the two of you.

“Steve’s out helping Nat with a mission, he asked me to take his place.” Bucky flashed a smile at Clint.

“Fair enough.” Clint turned, starting the engine.

You were fuming. You hated Barnes; the two of you couldn’t be in the same room together for more than five minutes without chewing each other out. Barnes was just going to complicate things, he was going to ruin the mission.

“Be safe you guys!” Clint called to the two of you as you stepped out of the jet, and started walking into the airport terminal. You thanked Clint for having an inside friend at the airport, allowing him to land there and not in some random field. 

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The creepiest thing is that Mark is such a lovely, nice, good-hearted human being, you can see it in his eyes and smiles and he’s just such a good man… And then Dark comes and his smile is suddenly really creepy and his eyes are literally burning a hole in you and… it’s the same person but for some fucking reason everything about him turns really creepy really fast. I feel like looking into those eyes just hypnotises you. He is a manipulative bastard for a reason, isn’t he…

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Klancemas Week: Day 1 - Mistletoe / Stockings 

Merry Klancemas, folks!! In the middle of all the holidays chaos, you can always count on klance to bring you happiness <3

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Why Heartshipping is fucking fantastic

Why is Heartshipping not more popular? I mean, come on! I have an entire list of reasons why it’s awesome.

1) Ryou and Yugi are actually friends. They like each other, they get along. They would (and have) risked their lives for each other before. 
2) It’s a great ship if you like fluff. Look at these adorable bastards. They just ooze cutsey fluffy times.
3) But if fluff ain’t your thing then they’re great for angst too. Ryou was the host to an evil spirit who wanted to basically stab all his friends in the face and take over the world. Pretty sure that would cause some issues in any relationship.
4) But, also, if you’re the type who just likes pure smut…Yugi walks around in all black and a dog collar while Ryou’s into the occult. You know those two are into some freaky shit.
5) Size differences. Yugi tiny while Ryou not so tiny. Aww.
6) They’re just kawai as fuck, all right?

I like Heartshipping. 

Turf Wars part 6

“Where are we going?” Kevin moaned, picking up his feet as Veronica dragged her friends through the muddy, grass less trailer park.

Archie was smirking at the dark haired girl who’s face was set in a stern line of determination “Ronnie, you’ve got to slow down, this is more exercise than Kevin can handle.” He elbowed Jughead expecting him to laugh along, but one glance at his best friends face showed he was not in the right state of mind for jokes. “Hey buddy? You okay jug?”

Jughead knew this place all too well, the tin can trailer homes, the broken basketball hoop all of the kids called a court, even the busted up RV the Serpents used for “special deals.” This was once his home, he knew the man who ran this place. That man was his father and the thought of seeing him again after all these years, it made him sick to his stomach.

Veronica finally broke the silence
“Betty lives here, she’s our friend now and I thought it would be nice to pay her a visit, let her know we accept her and all of her friends, no matter where they come from.” She played with her pearls as she stepped over a tree branch with her Louis Vuitton’s. yeah this was not gonna go over well. Jughead looked over to see the way Archie nervously tugged on his letterman jacket, he seemed to be thinking the same thing, the rumors were always spreading about how the south side hated all of Riverdale, wanted them all gone.

Neither of the boys had the heart to tell Veronica any of this, so they quietly bit back their fears.

“Aha!” Veronica stated, pointing to a group of men all in “serpent” tagged leather jackets “we can just ask them where Betty is.” She moved to go ask as Kevin followed blindly. Jughead and Archie both pulled the pair back quickly
“Why don’t we wait? I’m sure there’s someone less…” Archie started

“Lethal” Jughead filled in

“Yes, lethal. I’m sure there’s someone less lethal we can ask.”

Veronica tsked, “don’t be ridiculous archiekins, they’re just people.” She pulled her arm out of his grasp and made her way over to the gaggle of bikers, gently tapping one on the shoulder. Almost instantly the entire group turned around, Kevin flew backwards and into Jugheads arms. Jughead looked down at the flamboyant blankly and released him, shaking his head.

“Hi! I’m Veronica Lodge and these are my friends, we’re looking for another one of our friends her name is Betty Cooper. I was wondering if you knew where I could find her?” Veronica asked in her positively, perfectly mannered way.

The three boys prepared for the worst, as the men exchanged glances, when suddenly the tallest one spoke

“Sure sweetheart, Betty is probably hanging out by the big blue trailer, you can’t miss it, yellow mailbox right out front. If she’s not there, she might be over with F.P at the bar, try the trailer first.” The terrifying looking men all smiled and went back to their conversation as Veronica thanked them cordially.

Jughead and Archie just stared slack jawed at the scene that had just taken place, that had not been what they were expecting. As Kevin shuffled them along, the men all turned to Jughead stopping him in his tracks.

“It’s the splitting image ya know. It’s damn crazy to see what he would have looked like at this age, now he’s just an old bastard.” The man with the long white beard laughed, ruffling Jugheads hair and smiling.

“Even the fashion sense! Seems like you all have a passion for flannels.” A tall African man laughed causing the whole group to laugh.

They were all smiling kindly at Jughead as he nodded confused and began walking off to meet his friends. What was that about?

Finally the blue trailer came into view and sure enough Betty was there ,surrounded by young men all dressed in Serpent gear. She was in the center of them all, wearing tight black pants and a dark green sports bra, she looked like absolute sin and Jughead felt his mouth go dry. Archie elbowed him from his right and when Jughead glanced over he was wiggling his brows.

His temporary stupor was cut short though, when a man who had about five feet on Betty stepped closer to her, his hands drawn up in fists. What the fuck? Was he about to hit Betty?

“Joaquin told me about this, it’s a kind of training, it’s like fight club, apparently Betty is the best.” Kevin whispered to Jughead, As soon as the words came out Kevin’s mouth, Betty delivered a swift kick and a punch to her opponent sending him directly to the floor, the entire group of men broke out into cheers and a tall dark haired man came out of the huddle of bikers, grabbing Betty’s arm and lifting it into the air

“We have our winner!” He shouted, turning around and smiling broadly. Oh shit.

It was Jugheads father, standing before him and holding the one thing that had been on his mind all week. Talk about coincidence.

All too quickly, Betty’s eyes connected with Jughead and a grin appeared on her face, she reached up and grabbed F.P down to her level, whispering in his ear. The older man immediately snapped his head up and zoomed in on Jughead. His eyes going wide as he dropped Betty’s arm, almost in slow motion the Man made his way to Jughead.

“Son” he whispered, his voice in complete awe.

“Hey dad.”

Diabolik lovers: Lunatic parade Shin and Subaru (CD drama) ~translation~ (summary)

This translation was made by @ariadnasmtk~
Track x


—Both Subaru and Shin are accompanying Yui going shopping some things she needs.

Sin calls his familiars (his wolves) to accompanying them, but because of this people are getting

away; Yui asks Shin to takes them away. Then Shin calls his pups wolves (awww) something he

doesn’t want, because all women became crazy when they see them. Guess who became crazy

for them? Subaru! XD. Then while they were searching for the things Yui needed, a wolf

approached Shin telling him something.

Shin: “Well, I’ll be gone for a moment”

Subaru: “W-Wait. I’ll go with you.”

Shin: “Heeeh. Well, follow me if you want.”

It looks like Subaru thinks Shin’s pups are cute.

Shin: “Sorry to keep you waiting. Here, eat this.”

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