just look at these two idiots

hinekoakahi  asked:

BakuDeku, 88: "Don't panic but I think we might've accidentally gotten married." If you're still doing prompts ^^~

axalion said:   88. Deku/Baku. This could be hilarious.  

“Deku. Wake up.”

Izuku mumbles incoherently and burrows deeper into the bedsheets. He’s warm and comfortable. He doesn’t want to get up just yet.

“Deku, you lazy fucker. Wake the fuck up.”

“Mmm… five more minutes.”

“You fucking asked for it.”

The next thing he knows, Izuku is flying off the bed sans blanket. He squawks when his bare skin comes in contact with the cold floor.

There is something about that  sensation that has his alarm bells ringing. Not related to the fact that he was just thrown out of bed when he was so comfortable, which is startling enough on its own. Well, okay, he should have expected it considering Kacchan did it, but Izuku is not much of a morning person today.

Again, something niggles in the back of his mind. Something about Kacchan throwing him out of bed. Something about that is decidedly important.

“Ow,” Izuku mumbles, finally opening his eyes, and oh.

Kacchan is squatting beside him.

No.

Kacchan is squatting beside him naked.

No.

Kacchan is squatting beside him naked while Izuku is also naked.

Granted, Kacchan’s knees are in the way to see the thing. But Izuku knows it’s there, and oh god, the temperature is rising. Which is related to Izuku’s physiology , not Kacchan’s quirk.

Honestly, Izuku would prefer Kacchan’s quirk right about now. Mortifying doesn’t even begin to describe the situation.

“Don’t panic,” Kacchan says slowly. There’s something wrong with that. Mainly, the lack of swearwords which this situation would definitely warrant. Also, Kacchan’s face is doing something complicated and frankly, constipated looking, which is what it usually does when he tries to look nice and be comforting on purpose. “But I think we might’ve accidentally gotten married.”

Oh. Yeah. Right. What. Wait. Remember the script! “How?!” Izuku chokes out.

“Fuck if I know!” Kacchan shouts, waving his hands. There’s a suspiciously gold gleam on one of his fingers. Oh, there’s one on Izuku’s hand, too. Very nice, the ring, with a red gemstone that reminds him of Kacchan’s eyes. Kacchan’s has a green stone. “Last thing I remember we went into that shitty bar and you challenged me to a drinking contest, you little fuckwit! Next thing I know, I wake up with a ring on my finger and a signed marriage certificate on the table, my ass sore as fuck. This is your fucking fault! Let’s tour the United States like All Might did, my fucking ass!

“I just said I had a high alcohol tolerance!” Izuku protests valiantly. “No challenge whatsoever. For your info, I’m sore, too, and maybe I wanted to tour the US, but you wanted to go to Vegas so you could rub it into Mina-san’s face!”

Not that Izuku wasn’t all over that plan, though.

“So you really don’t remember a thing?” he asks.

“I just fucking said that, didn’t I! I’ve got no fucking clue where we even are! Much less how this shit happened!”

“Did you know your right eyelid flutters a little when you lie, though,” Izuku mutters, stifling a grin.

“What was that, Deku?” Kacchan asks menacingly, looming over Izuku, and oh, Izuku can see the equipment now. It’s practically in his face, in fact.

“I said I don’t remember either!” he yelps out the blatant lie. “Nothing! At all! No memories of trying to find that church and picking out rings and mindblowing sex whatsoever! The alcohol must have addled my mind! Anyway, our flight goes in, like, two hours, we gotta get to the airport.” He jumps up, running for the bathroom. “You can probably get a quick and painless divorce somewhere in the city, but we absolutely don’t have time for that-”

“You saying you wanna get fucking divorced?” Kacchan demands angrily. “I’m prime husband material, you asshole!”

No, Deku, do not think about assholes and last night before you are in the shower alone. But wouldn’t it be nice to take a shower together, though.

“Of course you are!” Izuku squeaks. “We don’t have time anyway. Can’t miss the flight. I guess we can come back… later. I think we’ll have time for it in… a decade or two?”

“We don’t have time ever, we’re fucking heroes, you idiot,” Kacchan snorts derisively.

“Oh. Well. That’s too bad,” Izuku comments cheerfully. “Guess we’ll just have to put up with being married.”

“Yeah. Too fucking bad,” Kacchan echoes with a grin.

“So… shower?” Izuku asks hopefully. “You’ve got scrapes all over your back, better let me look at that. You know, be responsible and stuff.”

“And how the hell would you know that you scratched my back up last night, huh?” Kacchan smirks. “You’ve been facing my front this entire dumbass conversation, shitty Deku.”

“The blood under my nails is pretty telling,” Izuku answers innocently. “Shower?”

“Fuck yeah.”

anonymous asked:

How bout a prompt for Reddie where Eddie cannot stop smiling like a total idiot. (Other than his first kiss cuz once he was smiling for like an hour?)

- eddie had this thing that when he was super happy he literally couldn’t stop himself from smiling and had to bite down on his lip

- this happened mostly around richie, because richie can literally make anyone smile like??

- “you look cute today eds, pink suits you”

- eddie would just roll his eyes but then smile like a big idiot when richie wasn’t looking

- whenever ben brought up the fact richie just talks about eddie ALL THE TIME, eddie would start beaming

- “does he really talk about me?”

- “24/7″

- whenever richie would sneak through his window eddie’s mood would instantly shift from bad to good

- “hows my sunshine boy doing this fine evening?”

- oh yeah, richie calls him his sunshine boy, didn’t i mention that?

- eddie can’t stop grinning when he catches richie staring at him when he thinks he isn’t looking (he always is)

- “you two are so love sick it hurts” stan would always say

- eddie would just shrug and smile, knowing he’s 110% right

Besides the vast potential for hilarious shenanigans with the Reaper Trio (do we have a name for them yet, I know someone can come up with something better than that), I also just really like the thought of these guys as a family.

They’re home late from a mission so they all shuffle off to Taako’s place (where Kravitz maybe also lives?? or does eventually??) and Taako complains at length about how late it is but there’s a freshly-cooked meal waiting for them so they all know Taako’s been sitting next to his stone all night.

They try to tell stories about the mission but they’re all speaking over each other to make themselves sound the coolest - at least, Lup and Kravitz are. Barry isn’t nearly as worried about his perceived coolness; he’s been lovingly referred to as “nerd” for far too long now. If Taako (or whoever else is listening) wants to know the real story, he’ll just ask Barry later. Barry is brutally honest.

If there’s a uniform, Lup and Taako customize the trio’s. If there’s not, they come up with coordinating outfits. Kravitz insists he’s not wearing that. Lup insists that he is. In a truly underhanded move, Taako asks Kravitz if he doesn’t like the outfit that Taako personally made for him. There is only one right answer. (Lup made sure Barry’s included his bluejeans and gets a kiss on the cheek.) (The Raven Queen loves the outfits and soon everyone has them, including everyone in the office.)

Lup and Barry start acting sickeningly sweet with mounds of pda edging into what should not be pda right in front of Kravitz, so Kravitz starts talking loudly about what he and Taako did last night. The questionable pda screeches to a halt. Lup and Barry do not look at him or each other for the rest of the mission. Kravitz worries that Taako will be mad, but when Kravitz tells him, Taako starts howling with laughter.

Barry gets separated from the group during a mission and Lup is trying to act like she’s not worried, but Kravitz knows better by now. He holds Lup’s hand because he knows that’s a comfort thing with her and Taako.

They’ve all been away too long and they know Taako worries no matter what he says, so they call him and it’s just a mess of all of them trying to talk at the same time and Taako can’t make sense of anything they’re trying to say.

Kravitz keeps trying to use the accent. Lup and Barry also come up with accents to use. Kravitz stops using the accent but it takes the other two another full week to stop.

Barry loves the twins in different ways, but it’s nice to have someone else around who doesn’t spread chaos on a near-constant basis. Kravitz is a good choice for company during quiet moments, and sometimes when it’s just the two of them they don’t say anything at all. It’s a comfortable silence.

Barry and Kravitz are Not Allowed in the kitchen after nearly burning it down while trying to cook their significant others a nice dinner. The intentions were sweet. The resulting property damage was not.

Guys imagine Angel Grove High School being so surprised that Kimberly Ann fucking Hart, ex-cheerleader is dating Trini. 

Some reactions are bad (most likely from the people who write on Trini’s locker and Kim’s ex-friends and the few homophobic kids) but for the most part it’s just bewildered confusion. Sure, they’ve seen Kimberly in relationships before, but not like this. Also, they all expected Jason and Kim to get together. Hell, some kids even bet on it.

They’re just so confused seeing Kimberly actually looking happy, like in Biology Kim moves to the back to sit near Trini and their desks are always close and Kimberly’s constantly finding new ways to somehow be touching Trini. (Trini pretends to be annoyed but she smiles like an idiot when Kim grabs her hand underneath their desks. 

Kim skipping class to hang out with Trini during her off period. Kim showing up to school one day in a yellow beanie and one of Trini’s yellow shirts and getting stares, but someone just mutters, “How the hell do both of them look good in yellow?” 

Kim’s ex-boyfriends starting drama and poor Kim has to pull a fuming Trini off of them. Trini gets questions like, “Are you really dating Kimberly?” And it puts her in a pissy mood, (one, it’s none of their business and two, she’s not used to all the attention) but usually Kim just swoops in and starts showing Trini off. She whips out her phone and just goes, “Guys, look at her! Isn’t she adorable?” And before Trini can say anything Kim kisses her. 

Trini’s locker no longer gets any mean notes, and Kim draws a saber-toothed tiger in the corner. (It stays there for the rest of the year) Trini also has pictures of her and Kim up in her locker because she’s just so smitten and is surprised to find that Kim has a picture of them in hers, too. 

Kim’s teachers worry for a while because her grades start slipping and they low-key think it’s Trini’s fault (her english teacher walks past them one day in the library during lunch and Trini’s trying desperately to get Kim to focus) “Kimberly Ann Hart I swear if you don’t finish this paper I won’t kiss you for a week.” 

“Did you just full name me?” 

“Kim…” 

“There’s no way you could go a week without kissing me.” 

Kim! Just do the damn paper!” 

“You’re just mad because I’m right.” 

Kim’s teacher has to hide his laugh behind his cup of coffee, and both girls get flustered as they realize that he and the librarian heard their entire conversation. 

Kim posts a picture of her and Trini on her instagram (with the caption ‘pink lemonade’) and almost the entire school likes it and that same week Trini asks Kimberly to prom in this big dramatic fashion. (Kim and Trini only show up to prom for five minutes to take photos and they go back to Kim’s house and eat pizza while watching movies all night) 

The boys always getting the biggest smile when they see Kim and Trini being happy together in the halls. 

Best of Friends

Originally posted by spdrparker

Series: Tom Holland Imagines

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: SEX BABYYYYYYYYYYYY, aKA SMUT SO IF U HAVE A PROBLEM DNT READ

Word Count: 3,500

A/N: BROUGHT TO YOU BY RUM AND MANGO JUICE

Request from @thomas-stanleyholland : Tom and the Reader are Best friends. They have a sleepover and have an intense makeup session in his bed, maybe some smut and fluff?

HECK YES TO SMUT AND FLUFF :,)

I’ll revise for any mistakes in the morning, I’m exhausted xx


[Reader’s POV]


   Your flight just landed at the London City Airport. The captain explaining that we’re pulling up to the gate. People around you were getting restless to get off. You of course were still waking up from the nap you took.


   Pulling out your phone you open the camera. Flipping the screen you see your reflection. Sighing in relief that nothing was out of place. Turning your head to the side you check  you winged eyeliner. Thanking the makeup gods the liner or your fake lashes you have on didn’t get fucked up.


  Feeling your phone vibrate you exit the camera app. A message from your best friend pops up. A smile on your face when you read it. Standing up once you see people emptying the seats in front of you. Reaching above you grab your suitcase with your backpack slung over your shoulder. Carrying the suitcase you lift it sideways to head down the narrow aisle.


   Someone pushes past you making you stumble a bit.  You huff out in frustration glaring at the back of the person. Readjusting your purse you make your way down the hall of the gate.  Your suitcase making sounds as it rolled and bumped over the bumps in the gate flooring.


   Walking over towards the bathroom you walk in and head towards a bigger mirror. Fixing your beanie that was on your head. It was your best friend’s beanie he gave you before he had to fly to the states for work.  Reapplying a coat of maroon lipstick  to your faded lips you leave feeling a little better.


   Looking at the  signs you see which way to turn for the baggage claim.  The escalator taking you down to the lower level. Stepping forward when you reach the end, you head towards a hooded figure. The sign said your name and beside the figure was your bag. He looks up from his phone, glasses shielding his eyes. A smile giving him way completely.

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27 Dress Code Violations

@jilychallenge 04/2017 | @bantasticbeasts vs @anxiouspotter

Muggle AUs | “i get dress coded so you give me your jacket and we protest unfair regulations for girls together/you sass the teacher about how distracted you are by my shoulders”

Word Count: 2500

special shoutout to @jiilys. solidarity, sister

AO3


i.

She walks into English fifteen minutes late, wearing both a deeply unflattering smock and a scowl. Neither are an especially new look on her.

“Vector,” she says under her breath, as an answer to Mary McDonald’s unspoken question. It’s the answer to every question in the room. Ms Vector is notorious among them all for her very strict adherence to the school’s dress code.

“Yes, Miss Evans’ entrance was very exciting, but I’ll have your attention back to the lesson now, please,” says Ms McGonagall. James snaps back to attention. It’s for the best.

ii.

“Here,” James says, shrugging off his jacket and thrusting it toward Lily. She gives him this look like, fuck off, and James has to bite his tongue to stop from aggravating her. “They’re doing uniform checks up the hall. Just put it on.”

Evans gives him a very strange look, and it takes him a second to realise that it’s neutral.

She looks good in his jacket.

iii. 

Every third dress code violation results in a lunch time detention. It’s only October, and Lily’s already had six. She doesn’t look at James as she takes the seat three ahead and one to the left of him.

iv.

There’s a thump from somewhere in the back of the classroom, and McGonagall isn’t planning on looking up - it sounds like it came from the general vicinity of Potter and Black, and that’s certainly not a situation she wants to engage with - but the entire class is already turned around to see what the fuss is.

She strides down the aisle between the desks, and is about three years past surprised to find James Potter lying on the floor, gazing at the ceiling, glasses knocked aside.

“Am I boring you so much that you decided to take a nap?” she asks, and James gives this wicked smile, and here we go–

“Sorry, Miss, I can’t get up. It’s Evans’ shoulders - they’re overwhelming me. I simply can’t do anything until she covers them up. Sirius, tell me when it’s safe.”

He’s a funny boy, she’ll give him that. “Potter, get up. This is hardly the time for foolishness.”

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Ok its practically canon that Sasuke had a huge crush on Naruto back in their genin days but I really want to see Naruto slowly looking away from Sakura to Sasuke in their genin days until one day on a mission they’re talking and Naruto makes Sasuke actually laugh and the moonlight hits him as he fondly calls Naruto an idiot and Naruto is just…
“Oh. Oh fuck. Oh no.”

two rotten apples [m] | pt. 2

credit: x.

❛❛we’re next-door neighbors and have hated each other since middle school but now we’re going to the same university how can we avoid the other person like the plague so there isn’t a crime scene— what do you mean you promised my mom you would keep an eye on me???? you fucking planned this❜❜ AU

COUNT → 17.686

GENRE → smut | eventual angst

PAIRING → jungkook | reader

WARNINGS → dom and sub tones | spanking mention | mild cum play | explicit language | male and female masturbation | penetration | erotica mention | public sex | restraints | dry humping | graphic dirty talk 

LINKS → 1 | 2 | 3COMING SOON


The second the timer on the drying machine went off to alert you of your shirt finally being dry enough to wear, the band from its neckline snapped against your shoulders when you slipped it back on. You pulled some of the cotton material to your nose, trying to see if it still even faintly smelled like beer.

Unlike your underwear which just smelled like cum and farts.

The farts courtesy of Jungkook. Well, you didn’t know if he actually farted, but he just naturally smelled like that to you—like old beans and moldy cheese.

You’d spent the past two hours in the laundry room in nothing but a bra and your loose-fitted skirt. It still hadn’t hit you yet—at least not entirely—that you had let your next-door neighbor spank and bone the living shit out of you. That was something you were going to put on your list of stupid-things-you’ve-done-but-did-anyway-for-some-reason. Maybe his mother could relate after giving birth to him. You were pretty sure she found him just as annoying as you.

But then everyone else thought rainbows shined out of his ass.

Keep reading

Here's what happened II
  • *Otayuri in Russia*
  • Yuri: Okay where do you want to sit?
  • Beka: I don't care you pick...
  • Yuri: UGH Beka come on your visiting at least choose something!
  • Beka: Okay *points* over there.
  • Yuri: See that wasn't so hard!
  • *later*
  • Yuri: Didn't you have a new mix or something you wanted to play for me?
  • Beka: Oh yeah here let me pull it up on my phone!
  • Yuri: UGH! I forgot my earbuds...
  • Beka: Don't worry I have mine~
  • *later*
  • Viktor: Ahhh where could our little boy be???
  • Yuuri: Viktor we are supposed to be grocery shopping. I doubt Yurio wants to see us anyways he left in kind of a rush...
  • Viktor: Did you see how he was dressed?! No cat print, so fancy, our son is with someone and we have to find out who!!!
  • Yuuri: Okay just because he dressed up nicely for one doesn't mean-
  • Viktor: I THINK THAT'S HIM! IS THAT JJ???
  • Yuuri: Whaaaaaat??? No way... See look I think it's Otabek...
  • Viktor: THAT GANGSTER WHO WANTED TO STEAL MY SON FROM ME?!?!
  • Yuuri: Ugh we have been over this a million times we KNOW Otabek. He would NEVER hurt Yurio. Awe they look so cute together...
  • Viktor: HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS!?!? I NEED TO GO OVER THERE AND GIVE THAT PUNK A PIECE OF MY MIND!!!
  • Yuuri: Better idea!!! Why don't we just casually walk by and act real suprised to see them and you don't try and kill Otabek! Mmmkay?
  • Viktor: They are really close together....
  • Yuuri: Viktor!
  • Viktor: Fine...
  • *Viktuuri casually walks by Otayuri who don't notice them*
  • Viktor: YURIO!!! FANCY SEEING YOU HERE!!!
  • *Beka panics and and stands up*
  • Yuri: What the hell are you idiots doing here?
  • Yuuri: Oh we were just in the neighborhood and decided to say hi! Hey Otabek no need to look like a deer in the headlights~
  • Yuri: Ugh can you two leave??? We were kind of in the middle of something...
  • Yuuri: Of course! We'll let you guys finish this d- this little outing of yours~
  • Viktor: DID YOU SEE HOW PANICKED OTABEK WAS?! HE'S HIDING SOMETHING...
  • Yuuri: This was supposed to be casual Viktor. You gave me a heart attack when you yelled at them...

frying-pansexual-m  asked:

Klance 70? Please and thank you

#70 - You’re warm


Lance sits in the common area of the castle, sipping at his tea that Hunk had prepared him. Red had thankfully come to save him after his pod had crashed into the icy lake, and despite changing his clothes and Coran wrapping him in a tight blanket, Lance is unable to get the chill out of his bones. He’s too skinny. Too long. Too much surface area to his body that any heat he generates is almost immediately lost. He thinks about jumping in a hot shower, but Allura had warned him that that may shock his system too much. He has to warm up gradually with just a warm blanket. 

Pidge has left to fetch him a hot water bottle. Hunk is running tests on Red to make sure she’s ok. She’s not built for water and ice in the same way that blue is. 

This just leaves Lance with Keith on the couch. Lance takes another sip of his tea. His fingers tremble. Keith sighs.

“Here,” He slips off his red jacket. It’s not very insulated, but it holds traces of Keith’s heat.

“I’m not sure it will help,” Lance remarks. He’s already wearing his green jacket and a blanket.

“You can try?” Keith shrugs. Lance nods. He lets his blanket slip off and bravely removes his green jacket. Goosebumps appear on his skin. He snatches Keith’s jacket out of his hand.

He pulls it up and around his shoulders and sighs. It’s incredibly warm. His stomach stops knotting with shivers momentarily and Lance is able to relax. Keith slides closer to drape the blanket back over his shoulders.

“Feel better?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“I’m sorry I can’t help more.” Keith pouts. It’s an uncharacteristic expression. Lance forces a smile.

“It’s ok. I appreciate it.” But then Lance’s shivers return. The heat from Keith’s jacket is lost as Lance’s own body heat can’t replenish it. Keith notices and scowls.

“Cold again?” He creeps closer, placing a hot hand on Lance’s thigh. 

“Sorry.”

“God, where the hell is Pidge?” Keith’s brows crinkle further as he scans the entrances to see if he can see the smallest paladin approaching. Lance huffs out a laugh.

“You wanna help?”

“Of course.”

Lance smirks. If he’s going to die of hypothermia then he wants to spend his last moments doing what he loved best… messing with Keith. 

“Stay still,” He warns, before he’s thrown off his blanket and pounces on Keith, wrapping himself around the other boy like a snake. His legs drape over his lap, and his hands crawl beneath his shirt. Keith squeaks at the contact.

“What are you doing!”

“You’re warm.” Lance sighs. Keith feels his muscles relax. His hands are still frighteningly cold on his bare back and chest.

“God, you’re so warm.” Land presses himself closer, now burying his face into the crook of Keith’s neck.

“Alright, hang on, hang on.” Keith sighs. He counts to 10 in his head and heaves out a long exhale. This isn’t exactly the circumstance he fantasised about, but having Lance’s touch on his bare skin is causing a reaction all the same. 

He composes himself, then starts to lean back on the couch. Lance greedily follows. He takes off Keith’s jacket and lifts up his own shirt, so that when he lays on top of Keith, both of their bellies contact each other. Keith flinches at the cold. Lance sighs.

“Guardian of fire, right?” Lance chuckles. He nudges at Keith’s arms.

“Hold me dammit.” He insists. Keith laughs. It vibrates against Lance. 

Keith pulls the blanket over the two of them, before wrapping Lance tightly in his arms. Guiltily, he slips his hands underneath Lance’s shirt and splays them against his bare back. His skin is soft. Lance smiles against his cheek.

“Better?”

“Much.” Lance laughs. He wonders if all those years in the desert have baked the sun into Keith’s skin. He wants more of it. Needs more contact. Wants to soak up every ounce of warmth Keith offers. 

“Hey Lan…. whoa…” Pidge’s voice echoes in the entryway. Keith turns his head, but is unable to move the rest of his body.

“Look what you did.” He deadpans. “You were too slow and now Lance has taken me.”

Pidge sniggers. 

“Did you even fight it?”

“Not really. He was too pathetic.”

“Hey,” Lance grumbles. His eyes are closed and he doesn’t bother to open them. “Just put the hot water bottle on my thighs and walk away.”

“Don’t you think…”

“Water bottle. legs. walk away.” lance repeats. 

Pidge rolls her eyes. She lifts the blanket. Wow… Keith was really all up in there… 

She sniggers as she places the water bottle on the back of Lance’s thighs. The one place Keith’s body heat can’t seam to reach. She re-sets the blanket.

Lance hums and cuddles against Keith. There’s a big, dopey smile on his lips. His eyes are still closed. 

“Thank you, Pidge.”

Pidge’s eyes meet Keith’s. Keith is glowing bright red, and unlike Lance, looks like he might just overheat and combust.

“Are you suffering?” Pidge asks.

“Uh,”

“Shhhhh” Lance brings his hand up to cover Keith’s mouth. Whatever protest he may have had is smothered. Keith laughs against his hand.

“Walk away, Pidge. That will be all.” Lance dismisses her.

Pidge turns on her heel and walks out of the common area, mumbling idiots under her breath. She bumps into Hunk just on the other side of the wall. 

“Problem?”

“They’re being weird”. She throws her hands into the air in dismay. Hunk cocks an eyebrow. He peers around the doorway to see the two boys entangled in each other on the couch. Lance looks about .5 seconds away from falling asleep. Hunk locks eyes with Keith and smiles. He gives him a thumbs up. Keith shyly smiles back. His hands are covered in blanket, but they shift in a tell-tale way that indicates he is returning Hunk’s gesture.

“They’re fine.” He chuckles. He places one of his large hands on top of Pidge’s head and escorts her away from the scene. 

You know you’re in faaaaaaaaar too deep when you have made a long-ass to-do-list with doodle shitpost ideas, and notes for four different AUs…
This is one of them and I have no fucking idea how to give it a happy ending, but let’s pretend it was just the members of our orchestra being their nerdy selves and musical jokes and everything is cute and nothing hurts…
…Whoops, fail.

The ominous mystery tune is the violin solo in Seventh Wonder’s King of Whitewater :)
And this scene actually deserves far better than quick cel shading blotched on the sketch, but here we are. This is sooo not finished, but I have so many more doodle shitpost WIPs and even more ideas, so I should move on (also clean lineart of musical instruments would be a pain in the ass, so there’s that)

Brain: you could do it in watercolour, it would look 300% better and pretty glorious :)
Me: did I ask for your opinion

anonymous asked:

PROMPT: D & P somehow get into a debate over who is kinkier in bed. Phil says something like 'Just because you have 5 vibrators doesn't make you more kinky. And yes. I know you have them. I hear the buzzing at two am bc I'm a heavy sleeper but you don't know how to be quiet' then cue rough sex

Warning!! Smut: Top! Phil, daddy kink, degradation, dirty talk, vocal Dan, bantz, dom! Phil, coming untouched (twice), coming in pants (once), etc.


~Thinking about it, Dan was almost positive him and Phil had rarely ever had a proper, real argument. It was usually about silly things when they did; anime, editing, memes, etc. Then when they did have an actual fight, it always resulted in them both crying and saying sorry. This time it was different, this wasn’t a real argument, this was leading into territory that hadn’t ever really gone too before.

~Dan and Phil had been joking around, sat in their lounge talking mindlessly about something, tossing back and forth a small bouncy ball they found and laughing. Dan was a lousy throw, missed, and hit Phil in the eye. To which, Phil replied with, “Kinky.”

~Dan snorted slightly and shrugged. “Nah kinky would be if I had called you daddy and threw it at you acting like a pissed off toddler.” He said pointedly, catching the ball and throwing it back. “I guess you’re right. I guess you aren’t as kinky as me then.” He said mostly to joke, throwing the ball back before seeing Dan raise an eyebrow.

~Dan gave him a questioning look, shaking his head before throwing the ball back to him. “Yeah I highly doubt that you’re kinkier than me, Lester.” He challenged, to which Phil smirked in response. “Just because you have like five vibrators doesn’t mean you’re kinkier than me.”

~Dan felt his ears turn red, looking away and blushing, not commenting back. “Yes I know you have them. I’m no idiot, I can hear the buzzing at like two AM. Or at least I would be able too if you knew how to stay quiet.” He chuckled softly, seeing Dan turn even more red.

~Dan finally looked up, shrugging. “I’ve always been vocal. I just figured you’d be asleep by then..” He trailed off, looking away again and blushing once more. “Dan, I’ve been your best friend for years and you still don’t know I’m never asleep at 2 am?” Phil laughed softly.

~Dan shrugged again, trying to brush it all off and play it cool. “I’m still kinkier than you fuck off.” He attempted to change the subject. “I don’t believe that for a second. Just because you moan like  bitch in heat doesn’t mean you’re kinky, or good in bed.” He smirked.

~Dan gave him an offended look, glaring a bit. “Shut up!” He threw a pillow at him from the couch. “Im plenty good in bed, and far kinkier than you could even dream of being.” He said, to which Phil instant denied. “Yeah no. I would ask for proof, but I don’t feel like being disappointed.” He teased, knowing Dan would get more riled up the more he went on like this.

~Phil chuckled deeply when Dan didn’t reply. “I guess I’m right. Dan Howell isn’t kinkier than me, and he’s shit in bed.” He declared, mostly to himself, seeing Dan’s face turn red from a mixture of anger and embarrassment. “I’m great in bed. Maybe you’re the one who sucks in bed, that’s why you’re harping on me so much.” He accused, seeing Phil raise an eyebrow at him.

~Phil brushed off the accusation, leaning back on the couch and putting his hands behind his head. “Sorry, I don’t get affected by very wrong accusations like you.” He hummed. “Are you saying yours against me was false then?” Dan smirked. “No I still think you suck in bed.” Phil laughed, looking over at him with that damn smirk still plastered on his face.

~Dan huffed and crossed his arms, glaring at him. “And what makes you think you’re so damn good in bed?” He asked. “Mhm?”

~Phil laughed, giving him a small shrug and closing his eyes. “I’d bet money I could make you cum untouched before i was even close.” He said casually. “Hell, I’d bet money I could have you begging me for it within 10 minutes.”

~Dan chuckled sarcastically. “Yeah right. You couldn’t get into my pants even if you took me to dinner and a movie first.” He snorted.

~Phil looked over at him once more, pushing his hair off his face and sitting up, chuckling deeply. “You say that because you know it’s true. You know easily I could have you begging for my cock, whimpering and whining for me to fuck you so hard you can’t walk the next day.”

~Dan swallowed visibly at his words, trying to push them away and shaking his head. “Oh whatever.” He denied. “Don’t lie to yourself Danny. I know damn well you want me. All those cries of my name and daddy over and over again in the middle of the night. You always sound so pretty, almost like you’re purposely putting on a show knowing I’m awake. I bet you look even better.”

~Dan was blushing furiously again, shaking his head but not speaking. “Awe..” Phil smirked, moving a hand on Dan’s thigh and squeezing gently. “Getting all worked up, Dan?” He cooed, leaning over and biting his earlobe gently. “Thinking about how nicely I’d stretch you open, how much better it’d be than all your toys, having me fucking into you, holding you down and marking up your neck and chest, making you my property?” He hummed.

~Dan didn’t even try to shake his head in denial, letting a small whimper pass his lips as Phil spoke. He felt himself being pushed back, Phil crawling between his legs in a swift motion and ghosting his lips over Dan’s neck. “You’d like that wouldn’t you baby? My thick cock ruining your pretty hole, teeth sinking into your neck and leaving dark bruises, my cum filling you up nicely..” He started placing small kisses down Dan’s neck.

~Phil moved down the side of his neck, kissing gently, occasionally taking the smooth skin between his teeth and nipping quickly. Dan was squirming under him, quickly becoming a mess. “Fuck..Phil..” Dan whimpered out, hands gripping the older male’s shirt tightly. “What baby boy?” Phil smirked gently.

~Dan whimpered loudly, his head thrown back as Phil bit down roughly and sucked a few proper marks against his throat. “Fuck me!” He cried out without thinking, gasping when Phil’s lips detached from his beck and moved to his mouth.

~Phil kissed him for a while, his hands moving under his shirt and rubbing circles into his hip bones. Dan was whimpering into his mouth, kissing back messily as he wiggled under him. “Please Phil.” He whined when Phil pulled back from the kiss, watching the older male tug off his shirt quickly. Dan did the same, looking at him with desperate eyes.

~Phil chuckled and leaned back down, feeling Dan’s hands fumbling with his belt, the metal clinking and Dan’s moaning the only sound in the room. Dan’s hands moved back, his arms around Phil and his nails dragging down his back once Phil started grinding into him, hips rutting together roughly.

~Dan was coming undone too soon, he felt like a horny teenager all over again as Phil’s hips rolled into his own, the friction of his jeans and boxers against the head of his cock almost enough to send him over the edge already, just needing a little more. He moaned loudly, feeling Phil nip his bottom lip and tug it back, attacking his mouth again for another heated kiss.

~Phil moved his hand down quickly, starting to palm Dan through his jeans firmly. Dan was getting louder, his moans and whimpers bouncing off the walls and drowning out all other sound. He cried out, starting to cum hard, blushing a deep red as he did.

~Phil chuckled softly, smirking. “I guess I was wrong..” He hummed. “About..?” Dan panted slightly, feeling Phil’s hips still pressing into his own. “You are good in bed. So far.” He smirked, his lips reattaching to Dan’s quickly, his hips still rolling into his.

~Dan didn’t take long to get hard again, Phil having some surreal effect on his libido he had never seen before, not that he was complaining. He felt Phil’s fingers hook under his jeans, tugging them down with force until they were on the ground.

~Phil did the same, slowly stripping with him until there was a pile on the ground of all their clothes. Phil reached down, wrapping his hand around the younger male’s cock and starting to stroke slowly, his thumb rubbing over the tip and over his slit repeatedly, Dan bucking his hips up in response each time, desperate for the touch.

~Dan wasn’t quiet, he never was, but in the sexual aspect he was a vocal guy. He liked to moan, he liked to put on a show for whoever was fucking him, and Phil would be lying if he said it wasn’t the hottest thing he had ever seen in his life. “Should we go to the bed?” Dan asked between kissing, whining and pouting when he felt Phil’s hand pull away from his aching cock.

~Phil gripped his ass, pulling him into his lap and lifting him up with surprising ease, carrying him to the bedroom with his lips attached to his neck. Dan felt his back hit the bed, Phil between his legs again and his hand fumbling to the side for his top drawer, finding the small blue bottle of lube and handing it to Phil.

~Phil chuckled, popping the cap and pouring a thick layer over three of his fingers, moving his hand between Dan’s legs and circling his rim. Dan shivered, his thighs shaking in anticipation before letting out a loud, strained moan when Phil slipped two fingers into him with ease.

~Phil worked his fingers in and out of the whimpering, writhing man under him, curling them slowly to try and find his spot. He smirked, hearing Dan cry out, his back arching off the mattress once he found it. He added a third digit, scissoring his fingers slowly for a moment before deciding he was stretched enough, spending a few moments rubbing against Dan’s prostate.

~Dan was whining at the top of his lungs, breathless, covered in a thin layer of sweat and his hair curling against his forehead as he was worked open. Phil was in awe, drinking in the sight and sound of Dan. “You sound so good baby..such a slut for me already.” He breathed, pulling his fingers out slowly.

~Dan whimpered, his legs wrapping around Phil’s hips and trying to pull him closer. Phil chuckled, smacking his thigh as a warning. “Don’t be a greedy slut or I’ll leave you here with a vibrator in as punishment. I could get off on my own, come back later when I’, ready to use your hole for my pleasure, just leave you hear unable to cum with a toy against your spot for a few hours.” He threatened, watching Dan shake his head.

~Phil chuckled softly, smirking. “That’s what I thought baby..” he said, stroking over himself and coating his length with the leftover lube, moaning lowly. He positioned at his entrance, pushing in his tip before pulling out, smirking when Dan whined and started clenching around nothing, his head thrashing back in frustration. “Beg.” Phil smirked.

~Dan pouted, looking up at him and whining loudly, no longer caring. “Please daddy just fuck me! I’ve been so good, I’ve been such a good slut for you. Please just fuck me, use me, ruin me, make me yours.” He begged, gasping and arching his back when he felt Phil push in suddenly.

~Dan’s whole body shook, feeling more full than ever, his hands grasping at nothing for something, anything to grip as Phil started to fuck him quickly, barely giving him time to adjust. It hurt, but in all the best ays. The burning, Phil hitting his prostate dead on over and over again as if he had done this a thousand times, his nails digging into Dan;s hips as he gripped them for leverage. Dan was in bliss, tears in the corner of his eyes from the intense pleasure.

~Phil was breathless, thrusting harder and harder into Dan, their hips slamming together each time he pushed back in. Dan was unbelievably tight, warm, swallowing his cock perfectly, screaming his name. He felt Dan move up, his arms around him again and his nails dragging down his back probably hard enough to draw blood.

~Phil groaned loudly, trying to keep quiet and enjoy the beautiful noises pouring from Dan’s swollen and pink parted lips. “God fucking dammit..” Phil muttered, leaning down and resting his forehead against Dan’s as he thrusted hard. “You’re so good baby..so good for me. Taking my cock like you were made too, all these pretty moans and curses all for me.”

~Dan nodded, rocking his hips into him as he was slammed into over and over again. “All for you daddy fuck!” He was almost screaming, unable to stay quiet for more than a moment, the build of his orgasm tightening in his stomach. Only a few short moments later he was coming again, white ribbons along both of their chests, loud shouts of Phil’s name and various obscenities pouring from his mouth at high enough volume he was sure everyone on their floor could hear him, but he didn’t care.

~Phil started breathing heavy, Dan tightening around him as he came for the second time that night, the feeling sending him over the edge. His thrusts became less rhythmic as he grew closer, Dan clenching tightly around him until he came himself, deep inside the younger male, gasping and groaning, his hips moving erratically as he rode out his orgasm.

~Phil collapsed onto him, rolling over and pulling out, hearing Dan whimper quietly as his cum dripped out of him slightly. Dan moved over to lean on him, looking at him and smiling a little. “Wanna nap and then we’ll talk about this?” He offered, seeing Phil nod before they both passed out. 



A/N: Can I just with the fact that I still always listen to Often by The Weeknd whenever I write lmao. This is 2.3 k, so t’s seriously official, I can’t write a short hc. 

Peter Parker - Confessions

i thought this was super cute and i hope you guys enjoy it!! 

warnings: kissing and  swearing

word count: 2002

requests are open:))!!

Originally posted by hardyness

sitting in science last period i was trying to keep myself from falling asleep. i could feel my eyes slowly begin to shut as my head was resting on the palm of my hand. peter nudged me as my eyes began to shut completely. i jumped slightly then kicked him under the table, mouthing a few curse words his way. i could see his body vibrating with laughter as my angry face turned to look at the board.

rinnnnnnggggg

the bell sounded and the whole classroom came to life, majority practicality running out of the class. i grabbed my things and followed peter and ned out of the class, we stopped at my locker first i began placing my things back in my locker and grabbed my back pack.

“movie night?” i asked peter a small smile forming on my face once i saw his reaction. his face lit up as a large smile was placed on his face, he nodded his head excitedly as we began making our way to his locker. along the way we lost ned in the crowd of people. peters smile was still on his face when we arrived at his locker.

i love his smile

peter looked at me for a second, his face turned a bright shade of pink and his lips began to twitch up at the ends. “what?” he questioned as he pulled his bag from his locker. “did i say something?” i played dumb with him, i was not going to admit to my best friend of 5 years that i was madly in love with him while he spent all of his time looking at liz completely oblivious to how i feel.

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