Where Demons Hide
summary: Groaning into his pillow, Dan reached for his phone. Of course he had to spiral into the the black abyss of his mind when Phil was still on holiday with his family, thousands of miles away. A holiday he could’ve been a part of, but decided to miss out on in favour of spending some time alone in their new flat, recharging and finding the desperately needed inspiration for a new video. Or, Dan is struggling with anxiety and the one person he needs is thousands of miles away.
tags: established relationship, fluff, anxiety, anxiety attack, mental health issues, coping, comfort, existential crisis, flashbacks to 2009
word count: 3,5k
This is my first time venturing into the realm of phanfic and I’m excited, but also a bit scared so… bear with me.
I wrote this mainly as a way of dealing with my own issues, so everything Dan’s experiencing is loosely based on my own issues/experiences. It’s also based on what he talked about in his last live show (May 2nd, 2017).
Aside from that there is also a lot of fluff thrown in there, including a flashback to 2009 because we all need to feel warm and fuzzy sometimes (especially when dealing with mental health issues), and what’s better for that than young love and domestic bliss?
This probably doesn’t need saying, but I want to say it anyway:
I do not, in any way, want to make any assumptions about Dan as a person or the mental health issues he’s struggling with. This is a character that is based on and highly influenced by what I know about Dan (and Phil) and I chose to explore this version of him(/them) as a way of dealing with my own struggles.
This is not beta’d, and English is not my first language, so anything sounding weird is on me. I’m sorry.