just have kids already

anonymous asked:

So I know Steve is in those school detention videos, but do they ever try to get you to be in any of them too?

they tried. they did not succeed.

this occurred for two reasons. 1. steve made those videos while i was still with hydra, so i wasnt around then. and after i came back and they asked me to do them, i watched steves videos and saw how dumb he looked. so i passed. 

and 2. steve only did them in the first place because he got blackmailed. 

so back during the war, steve had a reputation among the howlies as being terrible with women. which he was. so every so often when we were on leave, one of us would get it into our heads to try and help stevie develop some sort of game, in hopes that we would have to listen to him pine for peggy carter less. 

he did a lot of pining. 

we were all hanging out at a bar near camp after a stressful operation, killing time before the next transport turned up. morita was running late because he was getting a stark update for his radio kit, but the rest of us were already a few drinks in and well on our way to heckling steve into doing something dumb. 

(we didnt have tv back then, so we had to get our entertainment somewhere. and let me tell you, steve is better than the kardashians in terms of just-cant-look-away decision making.)

so dumdum had convinced steve that he had the perfect line, and all steve would have to do was walk up to some dame and say it. steve obviously wasnt interested in anybody but pegs, but he admitted that a bit of practice just holding conversation with a lady would probably do him some good.  dumdum pointed out a lovely dame with long brown hair and a WASP uniform sitting up at the bar, whispered the line in steve’s ear (because he didnt trust the rest of us with his perfect line) and sent steve off. 

we watched as steve made his way over and sat down. he’d never looked more awkwardly enormous as he did wedged into the bar stool next to that tiny dame. he flagged down the bartender, ordered a couple drinks, and turned to deliver dumdum’s line.

except that right then, the bartender slid the drinks down the bar to him, and his arm caught them both as he turned. 

so he delivered the line and then promptly doused the dame in two pints of terrible beer. 

that’s when morita showed up. and just as the lady delivering a really lovely slap across that chiseled-as-rushmore jawline, jim morita says:

“what the hell is steve doing with my wife??”

because it turned out his wife was a civilian pilot who’d joined the Women’s Airforce Service Pilots, and happened to be the transport pilot we were waiting for. none of us even knew he was married. he and his wife both kept their rings on their tags under their uniforms. her name was jenny, and she thought the whole thing was pretty damn funny.

she and steve both refused to divluge what exactly the line had been. but it must have been pretty bad, because when jenny and jim morita’s son found steve after the war, he used it as blackmail to get steve to do those videos. turns out he’s a high school principal somewhere in queens. and he’s on some sort of educational board that makes those things. 

but morita never had any blackmail on me to pass along, so i got out home free. 

I INVOKE THE ANCIENT POWER THAT I MAY RETURN

25 years in the future Dip’s kid stumbles upon this really weird statue in the forest… 

List of things to say when someone asks why you don’t want kids
  • I promised my firstborn to a witch and really don’t want to make good on the deal
  • Well you can have them FOR me if it’s that big a deal to you
  • I don’t think I could get a good price for em on the black market
  • Fight me Helen
  • I can’t be a better parent than Angelina Jolie so why even bother
  • That’s my nindo. My ninja way.
  • I literally JUST sat down
  • Recite “The Highway Man” from Over the Garden Wall
  • Kids? What are those? I don’t understand. What are these youOH GRAVY WHAT IS THAT!?
  • Oohhh no, I’ve seen Disney movies, I know what happens to mothers
  • Centipedes? In my vagina?
  • *Angrily* YOU SEE!? This is just like that episode of Spongebob! *insert the plot of any episode of Spongebob in excruciating detail*
  • I heard they’re.. you know.. itchy. Like, as soon as you have a kid. Just totally itchy. Everything.
  • I’m an Aries
  • Well, we already got an even number so.. *shrug*
  • I must first capture the Avatar to regain my honor
  • I’m allergic
  • That’s just what the communists want!
  • I’ve been dead for seven years
  • Santa didn’t bring me one last Christmas, so I guess it’s no meant to be
  • I’m afraid they’ll have bad taste in memes
  • It would be unfair to my cat
  • I’m chaotic neutral
  • *long farting noise lasting at least 45 seconds*
  • “I don’t want to have children, I want to stay single, and let my hair flow in the wind as I ride through the glen firing arrows into the sunset.”
7

Snippets from Gekkan Shojo Nozaki-kun #87

Yeah, we know Hori Sempai has been noticing her forever but this is like the first time he is finally acknowledging it and I. AM. ALIVE! 

(Do we have enough material for a Season 2 anime? I’d really like a Season 2 already, guys!)

healingmagicandaspirin  asked:

I know you like Bakugou and all, but like...I wish he'd gotten off a little less easy for this, sorry. It's getting frustrating for me to watch him being coddled and all of his abusive actions being excused (a bad mental health day/week/month/whatever does NOT excuse the harm someone does to people) and him constantly getting off with a slap on the wrist or no punishment at all for bullying people. Kind of wish the school would just tell him they'll expel him if he doesn't get his act together.

Bakugou has been kidnapped, used as a hostage, all but molested (i mean, what else would you call what the Sludge villain did to him?) all at the age of 14, then he lost to someone he had a superiority complex over for nearly a decade and nearly (or did, depending on your point of view of how that scene went) had an emotional breakdown because of it, won the Sports Festival only because Todoroki couldn’t use his full power against him and Bakugou won in a way that was utterly unsatisfactory to him and felt like Todoroki couldn’t even bother to fight Bakugou at his fullest b/c Bakugou wasn’t worth it, went to Best Jeanist to train and instead basically wasted time and had his hair and clothes styled/changed for him, was forced to swallow his pride and work with Izuku to beat All Might which frustrated him to the point of tears (and he nearly gave up instead, which, for a boy who’s very model of what a hero is is based on Always Winning, this is a Big Thing), was kidnapped AGAIN by Shigaraki and was terrified out of his mind during it, was kidnapped IMMEDIATELY AFTARWARDS by AFO and had to be rescued by his classmates so he wouldn’t become a burden for All Might, and then blamed himself for All Might losing his powers and retiring, failed the Provisional Licence exam because of his bad behavior, breaks down again because all the guilt, the shame, the frustration to losing to Izuku, and confusion and struggle and everything, was finally too much for him to handle and he literally had no idea what to do until All Might showed up and explained everything.

from the very first chapter, Bakugou has been systematically punished by the narrative, over and over and over again. not specifically for his treatment of Izuku, but it’s not as if he’s been unpunished for his actions, either, and i’m sure that this is Horikoshi’s intent for having all of this happen to Bakugou in the first place.

Bakugou is going to apologize and make up for his actions towards Izuku, i know he will. but you can’t force him to do it because he’s not ready to as of right now. 

but he is going to make up for it somehow, because that is where the narrative is heading, and he’s already heading there as of the last chapter.

he’s giving Izuku advice. he’s framing it in an insulting way, but he’s giving Izuku advice on how to improve his fighting style. he never would have done that before all of this. 

the narrative is basically hitting Bakugou where it hurts constantly, over and over again, and forcing him to change and learn from his behavior, whether he wants to or not. 

i’m not excusing what he did to Izuku, because he did a lot of horrible things and he needs to make up for his actions. but in the span of just a few months, this kid has been through a lot and he has indeed been punished and put down by the narrative in many, many different ways that are specifically designed to hit him in the places it’ll hurt him the most

i’ve never excused his actions, but he’s just a kid, and kids can only take so much before they begin to break. god, he’s just a 15 year old child.

and again, it’s not as if he’s been unpunished by his behavior. he was absolutely punished for his bad attitude during the Provisional License exam by failing it, and he’s going to have to take extra classes in order to make up for it. if he were being coddled, he would’ve still passed regardless his bad attitude towards the victims. 

Horikoshi does him no favors.

he’s been punished enough by the narrative, and i do think that Aizawa gave them a fair punishment for their actions. their whole fight was framed as a schoolyard fight between two frustrated kids, after all.

it wasn’t really about the fight. it wasn’t about who beat who. the whole fight was there just so that these characters, these two children, could finally have an outlet for their emotions because they’ve never tried to talk to each other before, and this was the only way.

they’ve never tried to express their emotions to each other before. they’ve never tried to listen. this is something both of these characters needed.

being told that he’ll be expelled isn’t going to help his behavior. it’ll do the opposite, if anything. any more punishment than what they received would be overkill.

they acted like children, so they’re being treated like children. they’re doing chores and cleaning just like any kids who broke the rules would. 

Aizawa gives fair punishments. if he doesn’t think someone has potential, he expels them. 

and also, please note: neither Izuku or Bakugou were seriously injured from their fight. otherwise, Aizawa would’ve sent them to Recovery Girl. all they got were some scratches, cuts, and bruises. 

when Bakugou challenged Izuku and Todoroki, i wouldn’t be surprised if Aizawa was considering the idea of expulsion. however, Izuku and Bakugou were forced to be partners and, after a while, they were able to work together and pass the End of Term exam, so whatever might’ve happened otherwise was dropped.

but make no mistake, Bakugou’s behavior here was noted by Aizawa, and Bakugou was forced to move past this attitude and work with Izuku as punishment.

back to the events of the recent chapters, All Might even says that the events that happened between Bakugou and Izuku were just as much the adult’s fault as it was the kid’s. the children’s mental and emotional health is just as important as their strength and growth as heroes, and Bakugou seriously needed some help with that. 

and, not to mention, All Might let them fight it out. he eavesdropped long enough to know about Bakugou’s guilt, and let Bakugou and Izuku fight and express their emotions this way, because honestly, i don’t think they could’ve been able to talk it out in any other way. i’m not saying this is healthy behavior, because god knows it isn’t, but for these two it may have been the only way for them to clear the air. 

and it worked.

they’re both on their way to having a much, much less toxic relationship than what they had before. they might not be friends, but their relationship is much more positive compared to what it was before, because they finally let out all of those nasty emotions.

Bakugou and Izuku are much more calm, and are able to have a conversation now without it turning violent or angry. they got all of those complicated emotions out of their system and finally talked it out, if at least a little, and both are going to be better from it. 

hell, Bakugou even fully admitted that he threw the first punch. in no way is he blaming izuku for what happened. Bakugou is taking full responsibility for what he did. 

and again, Bakugou is giving Izuku advice. he’s helping Izuku in a very backwards, round about way, because it’s the only way he knows. but he’s still helping Izuku, something he absolutely would never have done before. 

Bakugou is growing. he’s learning. whether he wants to or not, he’s changing for the better, and he’s starting to realize that he is changing. that maybe he has to change. maybe he needs to.

he’s already showing a positive change after this fight. he’s taking responsibility for his actions, he’s not blaming Izuku, he’s giving Izuku advice, and he’s worrying about All Might’s secret getting out. punishing him for any more would be overkill, and it wouldn’t have anymore positive outcomes then what’s already been achieved.

he’s just a kid. he acted like a kid. he’s getting punished like any kid would be.

related metas:

I still think this is one of the best out of context quotes from HoO

one of my favourite bits from the whole darkiplier route is the part where it looks like mark is fighting back

Originally posted by markfangirl

but! here’s a question! do you think that mark and dark are two separate entities altogether? if so, were they always separate? 

OR is it possible that dark took over mark’s body, but somehow they became separate? because remember, dark said that mark promised to “let him in again”, as if they inhabited the same body. BUT later on it shows them as two separate people, suggesting they split at some point. and if there’s any moment that shows the two splitting apart, it’s this one.  

idk, maybe I’m thinking about this too much haha. what do you guys think?

@ Voltron

If Season 3 of Voltron doesn’t start with Keith saying “Not again,” his voice shaking, and tears welling in his eyes, the writers are doing something wrong. That boy’s worst fear is being left alone again, and he’s lost shiro (who he sees as he brother) once already, and now he’s gone without a trace.

When Felix says he was somewhere on holidays with his parents he means that they actually were spending time together.
When his classmates say they were somewhere with their parents they mean the servants were spending time with them meanwhile parents were minding their own business.
This leads to some misunderstanding when they are comparing expirences.

I’m so in love with Yuki Behr you can’t believe!

Download info [here]

does jay just.. not like the trouble of giving characters last names?

  • Dawn Lastnamewithheld
  • Thog
  • Inien
  • Firi
  • Horaven “The Hero”
SU Should Stop Using Kidnapping

Kinda spoilers for the new episodes, but this is the Internet and you crazy kids have probably already seen them. Just fair warning. Anywho…

Holy fuck does this show need to stop using kidnapping to advance the plot. This the the FOURTH TIME!

1) The Return/Jailbreak
2) Catch and Release
3) Steven’s Dream
4) I Am My Mom

Like, when I say the writing is fucking sloppy, this is the shit I’m talking about. This ain’t no nitpick, homie. This is very apparently a string of lazy writing.

And I get it. It’s a show about aliens. Aliens abduct people. It was bound to happen once or twice. But four fucking times? It’s a crutch. Like the fact that if I were talking to someone about this show and said, “remember when they got kidnapped?” instead of replying with, “oh shit yeah that was intense”, they’d be like, “which time?” is so dumb.

Imagine admitting you want to marry Chris while you’re drunk.

You tumbled out of the cab and stumbled up the driveway of your boyfriend, Chris’ house. It was 2:18AM and you had just finished up at your co-worker’s bachelorette’s party, a party where you got ridiculously wasted. The original plan was for you to spend the night at your own apartment- as it was closer to the bar you were at- but after the third round of tequila shots, your urge to see the ever-so-handsome Captain America had you arriving at his doorstep instead.

You pulled out your keys and fumbled with the lock for a while before you finally opened the door. The noise drew the attention of Dodger who was now on alert and ready to pounce on the intruder. He barked once then stopped when he saw that it was you, he padded towards you and nudged his head into your hand when you reached down to pat him. You struggled to get your heels off and winced when your keys and box clutch clashed against the hardwood floor.

“Shhhh!” You told Dodger and pressed your finger to your lips, trying not to giggle. “The fossil is asleep upstairs, we can’t afford to wake him up.” Dodger tilted his head in confusion. “I could use some Fruit Loops.” You said to no one in particular and made your way to the kitchen. “Dodger, do-” You glanced back and realized the pup had made his way upstairs. “I’ll take that as a no.”

Chris was aroused from his sleep thanks to the noises you were making downstairs. He turned on his bedside lamp and glanced at the clock, wincing at the bright light; 2:23AM. He could hear Dodger scratching at his door but it was only when he heard a loud crash that he scrambled out of bed. He opened the door and Dodger barked at him before racing downstairs. Chris followed him and caught sight of your keys, heels, and clutch making a trail towards the kitchen; the only room with some of its lights on. He entered to find you trying to pick up the broken pieces of your favorite Captain America drinking glass.

“Dodger, stay.” Chris instructed him when he saw him start towards you; you looked up at them, eyes wide like a deer in the headlines. “Don’t move, Y/N.” Chris instructed you but you moved anyway. “Y/N, just- stay.” He spoke to you like he would to Dodger and you stilled. “What are you even doing here? I thought you said you were going home.”

“I thought you said this is my home.”

“I see you had a great time at Carly’s party.” He commented with a light chuckle and you nodded with a wide grin. “Hold up.” He said and reached for the light switch and turned on all the lights in the kitchen so he could have a better view of where not to step. “C'mere.”

“But you told me not to move,” you pouted like a child.

“God, you’re wasted.” He chuckled; he could smell the alcohol on you as he scooped you up off the ground. “Okay, lemme see.” He sat you down on the kitchen bench and took your hands in his so he could examined them for cuts. “Did you cut yourself?” He asked when he couldn’t find any. “Hey,” he cupped your face in his hands, “are you hurt?”

“I missed you tonight.” You told him and wrapped your arms around his neck; he chuckled softly and hugged you back, kissing the side of your head. “I wish you could’ve been there with me, it would have been a lot more fun.”

“I wish I could’ve been there with you too.” He agreed and pulled back, brushing your hair out of your face. “So I could’ve kept an eye on you and made sure you didn’t get totally hammered,” he chuckled. “I’m honestly surprised you found your way back here.”

“I can always find my way back to you, Cap.” You smiled and poked his cheek, drawing another chuckle from him. He always found drunk you incredibly amusing; it wasn’t a side he saw often as you weren’t one of those girls who partied all the time, but let’s just say that when he did- he made sure to enjoy every second of it. “I want some Fruit Loops, do you have any?” You tried to hop off the bench but he used his body to lock you into place. “What are you doing? I want Fruit Loops.”

“The last thing you need is sugar,” he said then chuckled when you pouted adorably. “Right now, you need Advil, lots of water, and- sleep. Stay up here, okay? I don’t need you cutting yourself.” You scrunched your nose and nodded. “I’m going to sweep up this mess first.”

He left you there and walked to the broom closet to grab the broom and dustpan. “Hey Chris?” He heard you call out to him from the kitchen. “Can I have my water in that glass I like?” You asked as he walked back in. “You know, that Captain America glass from Stan Lee’s team.”

“Yeah um-” He chuckled and lowered his gaze onto the said glass that was shattered on the ground. “I don’t think you can ever drink water from that glass again. Considering you broke said glass,” he reminded you and your face fell. “Exactly how much did you drink?” He squatted on the ground and swept up the glass that was fortunately empty when you dropped it.

“Lots,” you responded simply and he chuckled with a shake of his head. “Hey, where’s my phone?”

“You left it in the hallway,” he answered and you hopped off the counter. “Uh uh-” he held up a finger at you and you climbed back on the counter. “I’ll get it for you, just stay there please. You are in no state to be maneuvering around, I don’t need you to break anything else tonight.”

“What did I break?” You asked, completely forgetting about the glass you’d dropped earlier tonight.

“You are ridiculous,” he chuckled. “Just stay there.” He dumped the swept up shards into the bin then walked out into the hallway to get your clutch. He picked it up off the ground then fished out your phone and saw a text notification from your best friend, Luca, that was addressed to him.

“Hey, Chris.
Did she make it to yours okay?”

Chris responded with a quick “yeah, I’ve got her.” With your phone in his hand, he placed your clutch on the table then made his way back into the kitchen. “What are you doing?” He stood in the archway and chuckled at you; you had stripped off your red dress and was now sitting on the bench top in just your bra and panties. “Aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes?” He teased you as he walked over.

“Just out of curiosity.” You wrapped your arms around his neck as he pushed himself in between your legs and placing your phone down on the counter and his hands on your waist. “Are you going to marry me?” Your question surprised him, but made him smile nonetheless; your drunk mind was speaking for your sober heart.

“Are you going to remember this in the morning?” He asked and you thought about it for a while then nodded your head. “Yeah, I don’t think so.” He chuckled softly, rubbing small circles into your skin. “Well, since you won’t remember this- I might as well be honest with you.” You raised your eyebrows, waiting for his answer. “I am definitely going to marry you. I’ve been thinking about it since our first date, I’ve just- been waiting for the right time to ask. We’re both busy people, I want the proposal and the wedding at a time that works for the both of us.”

“Have you thought about how you’re going to propose?”

“I have,” he nodded, “numerous times. My favorite is still the cliché of taking you to a holiday cabin, cooking you dinner, and putting the ring in your dessert. I’m just a little afraid you might swallow the ring whole,” he joked and poked your side, causing you to giggle. “Why so curious? Are you afraid I wasn’t going to marry you?”

“Well- if I’m being completely honest, I guess I was a little afraid you didn’t want to marry me because I wasn’t sure about having kids.” His face fell slightly; he was a little upset with himself that he made you feel that way. “I know you like children and that they are an important part of your life plan, so yeah- I was a little afraid I wasn’t enough.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” he kissed your forehead. “You are enough, Y/N. You have no idea how much you mean to me,” he told you. “All I want is you, you are the most important part of my life plan.”

“And you’re the most important part of mine, which is why I’d gladly have children for you.” You told him for the first time in three years and he felt his heart skip a beat. “I tell people I don’t want kids because it seems scary, but with you- it doesn’t seem as scary.”

“This is by far my favorite drunk Y/N moment,” he told you with a wide smile. “Thank you for telling me that,” he gently pinched your chin between his thumb and index finger, brushing your pink lips with his thumb. “You won’t remember this but at least I know where you stand. Like you say, drunk minds speak for a sober heart.”

“I’ll remember this,” you nodded. “Give me a pen and I’ll write it on my hand.”

“No,” he chuckled with a shake of his head. “I would prefer you not to remember this ‘cause I would like the element of surprise when I propose to you. Now c'mon,” he lifted you off the bench and plopped you onto your feet. “Let’s get you an Advil and put you to bed.”

“Chris?” You grabbed his hand and pulled him back towards you when he tried to walk to the pantry to get the medicine box. “I think I’m in-love with you.” You told him and he nodded in acknowledgement, chuckling. “No, I’m serious.”

“We’ve been dating for three years and you just told me you’d have kids for me, I think I already know that.” He caressed your face and kissed your forehead. “Do you want to make any other shocking announcements? ‘Cause I really need to get you that Advil and put you to bed otherwise you’re going to be having one hell of a hangover tomorrow.”

“No,” you shook your head, letting go of his hand. “That’s the only one.” You said then grinned which made him laugh. “Can we have pancakes in the morning?” You asked as he grabbed a sachet of Advil from the box.

“You can have anything you want,” he nodded. “Take this,” he popped two pills out of the sachet and passed it to you. “Let me get you some water.” He grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with the filter tap water. “Here,” he passed it to you with the instruction, “down the pills then drink it all. I don’t want to see a drop of it left in the glass.”

“You got it, Captain.” You saluted him then proceeded to do as he instructed.

“You’re going to have a lot of fun tomorrow morning,” he chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

What do we think, part 2?

Here’s my mini-series Masterlist.

Just….domestic hamburr. 

That’s all.