just had to use this

anonymous asked:

Hey, I just finished the tog series and I don't understand why lorcan betrayed aelin? Why did he summon maeve? I thought he was falling in love with elide so I don't get why he would do that and also why he was devastated when maeve broke the blood oath. Didn't he say he wanted to go to perranth with elide?

The answer to your first question or two is simple, while the last one is more complicated.

To answer why he betrayed Aelin or summoned Maeve, can be long or short. The short answer was that he actually had no loyalty to Aelin and he was trying to protect Elide.

The longer answer is that when he summoned Maeve, it was at a point in time where he thought that there was a ship full of enemies come to kill/capture them. They had just used all of their power fightings so they would have absolutely no chance of succeeding. Lorcan has been abused for the past 100 years plus some, in these years the relationships he has had have been surface level or based around survival.

Elide is the first individual to ever really mean something to him or show him affection, probably in his whole life

. His being is centered around that.

All he has ever tried to do is protect and fight for himself, those are really the only skills and emotional capacity he has developed. So when he began caring for Elide, Gaverielsthose transferred onto her.



Now, we have seen that he does display loyalty to the cadre. This is rare and hard to come by, but we see it when he ran to help Aedion in QoS simply because he was Gavriel’s son. These loyalties come from years of surviving abuse and trauma together, though that does not change that Lorcan never developed or had a loving relationship (once or twice if at all), but he did respect this cold, but loyal, survival kinship with the cadre. Calling Maeve would not endanger them since they were all sworn to her anyway besides Rowan. As for Rowan, we see that Lorcan felt a deep betrayal at Rowan leaving with Aelin. Rowan was the closest thing Lorcan had to an actual friend, he actually felt close and connected to him over all the other cadre members. This was because Lorcan is almost, if not as, powerful as Rowan so they were often sent on missions for months together. Rowan was the closest thing he ever had to family, a brother. And Rowan just left Lorcan with Maeve, without so much as a backward glance. Before, Rowan was grief stricken and cold like Lorcan. He felt comradery to him. Then Rowan left him to become more emotional, feeling, and to have a court, a family, with other people. This genuinely was both a physical, relational, and emotional betrayal of sorts for Lorcan. While I certainly do not blame Rowan or think he should not have done anything differently, that does not mean we wouldn’t expect Lorcan to react this way. We often see this with people in real life. Trauma victims or abusive victims, when someone else gets out or moves on with their life, while we would hope that most would be happy for the individual, others might feel a sense of abandonment.

And Lorcan, cold and abused, had no moral reason for serving Maeve. She was just a way to achieve status, a way to not be the prey in life and instead be the hunter. Lorcan operates on a kill or be killed mentality, as all his life experience has told him to. It was a survival decision to join Maeve. He says himself, he cares not about the actual battles or why they are doing the things they do, he is so depressed and traumatized that he simply just exists. So, he could care less personally about Aelin and the goodness she represents. He has no personal ties to her, he has only talked to her maybe three times in his life.He only knows himself and Elide when it comes to base instinct. She is the first person to move into his circle of survival, the first time he really has an active role in someone else’s fate. She breached those walls. So when he thought they were under attack, his first instinct and thought are to try to find some way to save himself, and the first person he has come to really care about or have. He barely even thought, he just reacted on a base survival need. He might have paused if this resulted in the death of his cadre, but they were on the same side as him. And while I do not think he wished any harm particularly to Aelin, Rowan, and their court, he was not going to choose them over himself and Elide, nor the cadre, who are his brothers in arms of sorts. 


As for why he was devastated that Maeve cut the bond, there is a long list of complicated emotions he was probably feeling. One is simply shame. The culture in throne of glass is very different from where I live or where most people live in today’s world. It is very much based on visible status, etiquette, titles, and honor.  Maeve cut his blood oath in the most dishonorable way she could think of. Lorcan was a street bastard, the lowest you could get in society. The main reason he even took the blood oath was so that he could have a name so he could be something in his world and society. Now, not only has he returned to nothing after years of abuse and torture and trauma, but he also has added dishonor. He basically just became an outcast homeless person.
And the abuse. That I think is the primary reason he reacted the way he did. For 100s of years, Maeve has been in his mind, perverted his actions, forced him to do and endure terrible things. basically ruled his entire existence. He can barely remember the world without Maeve. It’s the same concept you see when sex trafficking victims who have been rescued try to return to their captors, why domestic violence victims lie to law enforcement and say they aren’t being abused, why kidnapped victims will fight and defend their captors against law enforcement trying to rescue them. Brainwashing, Stockholm syndrome, confusing their identity, making their abuse and their captors become essential to their survival, whatever you want to call it. HIs brain, his emotions, who he is is so confused and traumatized; everything he was is wrapped up in and depended upon Maeve. He had nothing and no one before her, this way of life was his only known reality. He does not know what or who he is without it. And when Maeve displayed displeasure and anger, the only way his mind knew how to react was to try to please her, beg forgiveness, and the fear of losing the only life and ways he understands caused him to try to hold onto that as much as possible.

It is very hard to understand or relate to unless you have gone through it yourself or know someone who has. And that’s okay, that’s understandable. Trauma and abuse are horrible things and are very hard to overcome. To anyone who may not be aware of why he would do this, it seems pathetic and confusing. 

I hope these answered your questions. 

And to anyone out there who may be going through abuse or have been traumatized, know that there is help out there and that it is not hopeless. I cannot imagine all you are going through, but there are people out there who have been through it as well. I escaped emotional abuse in high school, and life has gotten significantly better. Attatched are some resources for the domestic abuse hotline, suicide hotline, trauma resources, and people can feel free to reblog more.

Here if you need me ToG fandom!

http://www.thehotline.org/


Suicide hotline: Call 1-800-273-8255

https://www.domesticshelters.org/

https://www.samhsa.gov/capt/tools-learning-resources/coping-traumatic-events-resources

hardman5509  asked:

Whats the first thing you ever drew?

I used to draw fantastic cities and geometric shapes, I wanted to be an architect more than anything else when I was a kid. This is mostly thanks to watching THE SECRET CITY when I was about 7 or 8?

Afterward I had gotten used to just drawing in my spare time and started cartooning. I used to draw comic strip characters a fair bit (Garfield, The Far Side, etc). By elementary school I started working with things like pastels and markers, even doing collages. I got really inspired by video game artwork as I got older and used to draw lots of things like fantastic Castlevania interiors, that evolved into trying to draw more characters as well and at the same time I had started getting into anime / manga / video games. I would draw all my favorite characters… (man I know I have them buried somewhere if I find ‘em I’ll post ‘em)

There was no world wide web when I was going through puberty so other than sneaking around to find my dad’s secret stash of porno mags I would just draw my own porn. It was a huge secret thrill to draw all these weird scenarios out and then figure out how to destroy them without getting caught so to speak. The first boobs I ever drew were “Princess Toadstool”s like a lot of people I had an unhealthy fascination with her… uhh anyway one pic I destroyed I wish I had kept, it wasn’t overly sexual it was Angela from Gargoyles wearing Belle’s dress… (!?) ANYway…

I drew quite a bit up until I started college which basically destroyed my free time, I did dribs and drabs here and there, I also managed to score my first copy of Corel Photo-Paint 8 in 1998 and I think by ‘99 I had finally gotten my hands on a scanner, I still have some of my art from that time

(why yes that IS a Crown Royal dice bag - such a NERD)

Following college there was a long dark period where I worked for an EXTREMELY shitty company and I basically replaced all my hobbies with working like a slave for a souless motherfucker and drinking. When I finally quit that hellhole in 2005 I discovered I suddenly had this thing called “free time” (funny when you aren’t working 90 hours a week)

By then I was still using Corel but trying to teach myself how to colour stuff…

GAZE INTO THE ABYSS PEOPLE this was me 12 years ago
(and my old icon)

YIKES!

I was drawing with a MOUSE like a common mouth breather …well… not so much drawing but click and dragging points with the horrid vectoring tools in Photoshop (not Illustrator uggghhhhhh).

I started getting better at colour, in fact I think I really met @grimphantom2 by colouring one of his Kiva drawings, I mean we knew each other from WWOEC but not as closely at that time, all we knew was we had good taste in cartoon ladies

PLZ MEMBER THIS

Anyway it’s been a long ride since then, 11 years on deviantArt and roughly 12 years of regular drawing. Now I can almost draw a circle again!

…and color pinups like a real boy…

…and pictures that mean a lot to me personally…

I’M JUST A WACKY FUNSTER FROM FUNLAND

wings tour in newark, 3/23

so i don’t have a very good memory and i’m still lowkey freaking out so this will be kinda random and scattered, but here are some highlights that i remember from the concert.

first of all: wow. obviously i knew these boys were talented, but seeing them live is something else. gorgeous vocals, spot on choreo, all around amazing performances. they’re even better live than in recordings.

they’re all so gorgeous in person!!! hobi especially, wow, i couldn’t believe he was actually real??? he wore a choker for the encore and i Died. and jin wore the same dangly earring he wore in the interview yesterday, it looked so cool! and jimin he like…. Glows. it’s hard to describe but in person he’s so stunning and angelic like??? he really seemed otherworldly.

tbh i don’t remember much about introductions bc i was so overwhelmed!!! but they’d all prepared speeches in english, which was so sweet. :’) and their english was all so good. yoongi did the Thing again where he pulled out his earpiece and made us cheer for him asdfffgghjkcsd

baepsae was so cool!!! the changed the instrumentals a bit so it was a different experiece than just listening to it. dope was great bc the whole audience was doing the fanchant and singing along! tae tripped during dope, my clumsy baby 😊

the solo performances were out of this world. the way they were staged was so beautiful and almost theatrical. special shoutout to dance line for pulling off some pretty tough looking choreos while also singing/rapping an entire song!!! jungkook especially, wow. his choreo had lots of tricky footwork and it looked very tiring, but there was only one time in the entire song when he sounded a bit out of breath. he’s become such a stable, powerful singer with great breath support, i’m so proud :’))

yoongi didn’t come out to do first love until after we chanted “min yoongi” for a while ahdjjtjskkd so dramatic. he was amazing, his passion is so clear in his voice whenever he performs. he had a string quartet accompanying him, and towards the end they changed up the instrumentals and played the chorus of so far away i’m so emo :(((

reflection oh my god :(((( we chanted “we love you” in between the “i wish i could love myself” lines and he sounded like he was getting a bit choked up :(((( i straight up started sobbing. he’s so lovely and kind and intelligent and that comes through so strongly when you see him live, everything he said to us was so beautiful and sweet. hearing him perform that song hit me so deeply like :((( knowing that he’s been through the same struggles i’m going through and grew into this beautiful successful person is so inspiring.

andkkaldhjfsksjdk i barely even know what to say about mama!!!! i actually got weak in the knees and starting shaking a bit, it was so incredible :’))) hobi’s voice is so beautiful, and his stage presence….. it really can’t be described. he played off of the crowd so well and was just so like…,charismatic. also on the screen behind him they were showing baby pictures of him 😭

awake…… there are really no words. it was even more beautiful live, if that’s possible. his voice is so incredible like??? it sounded even better than in recordings. his high notes were so solid and powerful and gorgeous and i was really just completely blown away. everyone sounded amazing, but tbh i think jin sounded the best tonight out of all the vocalists.

cypher 4 ahfjsjfjak the crowd got so hyped!!!! yoongi dabbed lmao, and hobi poured a water bottle on the crowd again (God I Wish That Were Me)

jimin slapped jungkook’s butt in 21st century girls. amazing.

hobi’s body rolls in no more dream….. i Don’t want to talk about it. i’m honestly surprised i’m still alive.

boy meets evil goes directly into bs&t, and it’s not the full version :((( but hobi was incredible as always. again, his stage presence is really something you need to experience.

they made us wait so long for the encore akdjjdkalakdkdka what little teases! before they came out for the encore, everyone covered their army bombs with colored plastic bags to make a rainbow :’))) the boys were so touched and impressed when they saw it. in jin’s goodbye speech he said “army is our rainbow” 😭😭😭😭 and he did one of his flying kisses and of course we all lost it. tae said something about the rainbow too, but i didn’t catch it :(((( and then hobi said “you’re our wings” in his speech and i started crying. they were all so so sweet and thankful, i could really feel how much they love us 💖

outro wings oh my god!!!! everyone went wild. hobi’s part was amazing. he threw water at us again sfjsdjkhds. also jungkook’s voice was so gorgeous in this song!!!

spring day :(((((( the choreo is so lovely, especially jimins part, he’s so soft and graceful, he really looks like he’s floating. and hobi’s voice oh my god!!!! never let that boy tell you he can’t sing!!! he sounded amazing!!!! truly what can’t he do!!!!!

they stayed on stage for so so long after bows :’))) jimin kept making hearts. tae was reading a bunch of the signs fans brought, and someone gave him one and he got all excited and showed it to us! it was in korean though so i’m not sure what it said. and hobi oh my god 💖💖💖💖 i really can’t begin to describe how cute he was. he was going around and leaning down to talk to fans by the stage and his smile was so beautiful :’) and then some fans started throwing pokémon plushies onstage and he almost caught one and made the cutest giggle into the mic ahdjfjskksjdjjska i died and then he went around picking up the pokemon and playing with them and he was making the cutest faces he was just the most precious thing i’ve ever seen :’))) he and tae were the last to leave. they stayed by the curtain waving at us for ages, and they had a lil hug :’))) it really seemed like they didn’t want to leave :’)

i’m so overwhelmed by their talent and dedication and the love they have for us 💖💖💖 these boys are really something special. they bring so much happiness into my life. i’ll never forget tonight.

bellacandraw  asked:

Could you possibly make a video on different perspective angles? I wanna try something different, but thought you probably had some experience with perspective. Or just tips. Tips are useful.

have you ever seen me use different perspectives?? lmao

anonymous asked:

Elgangs cooking abilities?

Elsword just uses alchemy.  Hey, he had to live on his own for like five years, he can cook decently.

Aisha uses magic to try and make the food, with varying success.  Dimension Witch is the best at it.  Void Princess is the worst.

Rena can cook, but only vegetarian things – she doesn’t know how to make anything with meat.  She makes a fantastic lasagna, though.

Raven doesn’t make bad food, but it’s not great, either.  He tends to forget seasoning exists.

Eve picks her recipe, follows the recipe, and then realizes she doesn’t have one ingredient.  She substitutes another for it based on chemical composition.  Unfortunately, this sometimes results in weird food.

Chung hasn’t ever had to cook before.  They have chefs in the Guardian Palace to do that.  So he’s a disaster.

Ara can cook, and well!  Unfortunately, she’s a fucking disaster in the kitchen because of her clumsiness.

Elesis tends to overcook everything because she forgets it’s on the stove. This is just as bad as it sounds.

Add has his Dynamo cook a recipe to perfection.  He can make exactly three things – pancakes, coffee, and key lime pie, the last because he wanted to test his dynamos’ motor control.

Lu can make toast!  Well, she can burn toast.  Okay, she can’t make toast. Or cook at all.  That’s what Ciel is there for.

Ciel is a fantastic cook.  It’s almost therapy for him, though he seriously enjoys baking much more.

Rose is meh in the kitchen.  She can cook, and her food is edible, but… it’s not something you’d want to eat.

Ain doesn’t even bother with cooking.  His body doesn’t need it, after all.  If anyone asks him to cook, he’ll politely point them to the cereal shelf.

So far this week at the public library...

I had a lady come in and ask if this was where she went to pay for her parking ticket.

Got yelled at because I was conspiring to uninstall programs from the computers this patron used when I knew this patron was coming in.

I legit just had a lady use the corner of my desk to scratch her back like a bear would a tree.  Except for she made moaning sounds of pleasure and then wiggled around her boobs and told me about her bra tag. 

It’s Thursday.  Not even a full week.  Wooohooo public

A thought I just had

I used to have all these really outlandish dream jobs, and ideas of how my future life and my career were going to pan out. I was supposed to be an author, an actor, a business owner. I was supposed to be this influential, goal-oriented person that people would look up to and admire and aspire to be like. 

And now that I’m about to turn 30, and I’ve done a whole bunch of stuff in my life, I’m starting to realise that I’d really rather just have a job that I know how to do. A job that pays my bills. A job I don’t really even have to think about, because every second of my life I spend thinking about work, is a second not spent thinking about my life and how I want to live it. 

I don’t need to save the world. I don’t need to influence anyone, or achieve anything grand. I don’t need history to remember me, because what good would that do for me here and now. 

All those things I’ve wanted to do have been things I thought I was supposed to do. Things I thought I was expected to do. Things I wanted to do because I wanted everyone to love and adore and respect me – probably because I didn’t really love and adore and respect myself all that much.

And because I never once questioned any of this, it took me this damn long to realise that maybe, just maybe, I don’t need to be that important. That maybe it’s enough that I’m important to the few people I actually care about. That maybe people define themselves and judge others far too much based on what they do for a living, instead of how they actually live. 

And I know this is such a lame and cheesy realisation, but right now it feels really important, so I’ll just hold onto it and try to remember it in the future. 

anonymous asked:

My boyfriend wants to finally have sex when we move in together. We've been together for 3 years but I'm scared af. Like...with vibrators/sex toys in general, I can't put anything inside me bc it hurts. And whenever I finger myself, I don't feel it.

Tbh I was like this before and I just kinda had to get used to it (it didn’t hurt just felt like pressure) and slowly get used to it and then it slowly feels amazing lol

Tips on Writing Characters Without Faces

so yeah, we all know that facial expressions can tell us a lot about how a character is feeling, but what if that isn’t an option? how can you make someone emote if they don’t really have standard facial features? the answer; body language.

let’s consider how emotions are conveyed on a stage production vs movie with Sweeney Todd. First, the stage play:

Note how Todd’s entire upper body goes into his gestures, how he’s single-mindedly focused on his dreams and ideals; how his hands GRAB for each imaginary ‘man’ with these sharp, aggressive, destructive movements and how that contrasts with Mrs. Lovett’s body language; how her hands linger in the air and gravitate towards Todd even after he’s pulled away, and the slow turn she gives him. It does an excellent, though exaggerated, way of conveying their relationship (her focus is on him and making him happy, his focus is entirely on revenge)

Contrast this to the movie:

Originally posted by curiousitykilledthekat

Same lines in the song, much more subtle. Lovett’s eyes still track towards Todds, which reminds us she’s still more focused on the outside, but all of the emotion is in their faces. Were this not a close-up shot in a movie it’d be very, very hard to read their expressions.

While I do recommend you watch a few stage plays (in person near the back row if you can) to actually study body language for yourself or try out charades with your face covered with friends/watch how cosplayers or mascots emote, here’s a few shorthands to get you started (US-centric so expressions may vary on your region):

Head:

  • perfectly still - fear, intense attention, feeling under scrutiny
  • tilted up - recollection, intimidation (looking down nose at threat, aiming to appear taller)
  • tilted down - intense thought, shame (avoiding eye contact), depression/sad feelings
  • turned away - not giving person full attention, avoiding subject/conflict without being combative
  • cocker-spaniel (sideways) tilt - confusion, curiosity, amusement

Hands

  • at the forehead - fatigue (wiping away sweat), illness (checking self for fever, feeling a headache), realization/memory (a ‘well duh’ tap)
  • at the eyes - fatigue or headache (shielding eyes from light), distress (blocking out a painful view, concealing tears)
  • at the nose - disgust (a pinch at the nostrils,) irritation (rubbing at sore spot on nose from glasses wear)
  • at the mouth - nausea, surprise, repressing an emotion/stopping self from saying something
  • at the chin - contemplation, tiredness (face resting in hand)
  • rubbing back of neck - a need to relax tension, embarrassment, slight unease/desire to distract self
  • at the chest - surprise, self-protection (reaction to a wounding statement, sometimes used sarcastically), strong emotions (clutching at heart, could be good-strong or bad-strong), need for security (touching necklace/adjusting clothing to conceal more)
  • at the stomach - pain (clutching, pressing), satisfaction after a meal, protectiveness towards fetus when applicable
  • at the hip(s) - confidence, intimidation, nervousness (if grabbing for weapon)
  • at groin - concealment/unease (usually male-coded as protection of genitals), politeness (hands folded in lap)
  • on thighs - exhaustion (bent over, hands on legs supporting tired upper body)
  • formed into fists - holding back an intense emotion, preparing to fight
  • toying with something - restlessness (bored, nervous energy, craving something they can’t touch) or deliberate disrespect of property (playing with personal objects someone holds dear as an intimidation tactic)

Arms

  • at sides, relaxed - default posture
  • at sides, tense - unease, restraint (soldier at attention, person holding still to avoid being attacked), fear
  • crossed at chest - disapproval, displaying authority, unease (hugging oneself)
  • crossed at stomach - pain, intense laughter (caused by sore stomach muscles from laughing)
  • up, fingers laced behind head - confidence, relaxation
  • one arm on back of furniture - confidence, invitation for someone join them
  • general rule - the further arms are away from body, the more confident/dominant a person means to appear; exposed torso indicates that they don’t see anyone around as a threat to them

Legs

  • square with shoulders - professional, restraint, protective stance
  • wide stance, one foot a little back but planted - defensive stance, expecting to receive blows (knees may be unlocked - seen in swordplay and fencing)
  • weight on one leg - relaxed, tired, may also be leaning on something or pair with one ankle tucked behind the other
  • uneven stance - could indicate old injury
  • foot tapping/bouncing - boredom, nervous energy

Whole Body:

  • stiff and still - fear, unease, standing to attention
  • limp or pliant - relaxed, tired, pleased
  • shoulders back/head up - alert, focused, aggressive
  • shoulders forward, hunched - tired, ashamed
  • leaning towards person - interest, intimidation (looming over them), aggression (usually paired with tense arms or hands in fists,)
  • leaning away from person - relaxation, confidence, disgust (recoiling)
  • smooth/fluid movements - joy, confidence, experience
  • stiff motions - fear (reactive, fight or flight), pain (reluctance to move), anger (either fighting to keep control of emotions or lashing out), cold (conservation of heat by keeping limbs near body)
  • cracking joints/stretching - preparing for a fight, often reading as confidence in abilities
  • general rule - close contact/proximity can read as intimidation (paired with tense body - an invasion of personal space) or affection (paired with relaxaed body language, gentle movement) or passion/attraction while distance can read unease/distaste/fear/dislike.

with those in mind, let’s read this scene from Red vs Blue (a personal fav of mine for body language) featuring agent texas from season 8.

Originally posted by cryingmanlytears

So first of all, very relaxed upper body; limp arms held away from the body, which slowly come back to rest on her hips as she looks at what she’s done. Watch how her lean shifts at the end as her center of gravity shifts, and how she has to move her right leg to restabilize herself when she’s finished pushing it. This reads, in order from the start of the loop; detachment (the least amount of her body is involved in the action as possible), relaxation (smooth movements, the deliberation of those little steps backwards) and confidence (hands on hips.) We can tell a ton about this character just in this gif alone, based on her body language.

in summary! this list isn’t exhaustive, but hopefully it gives you some ideas for ways of making characters emote in fics when you can’t see their faces.