Could you beat this 'classical' writer in a fight?
Roving bards sound dangerous. It’s also still unclear if he was one person or multiple people, so you may, mid-fight, be jumped by a dozen randos. Sure, you’d feel vindicated for all those fucking epithets but in the end he’s remembered for millennia and you’ve beaten up an old man. Pass
Scrawny nerd who wrote historical fiction. Had a hard on for Mark Antony, but who doesn’t? P sure if you accuse him of ripping off the Odessey, he’ll go into one of those flaily nerd rages and you can just punch him out. Please do
Marie de France: 10%
Hahaha you think you can beat her? A woman whose career was making fun of her own fans and writing about werewolves and lesbian weasels? She will get a knight to kick your ass while she watches from the sidelines, sipping from a drink with a little umbrella.
John Milton: 80%
END HIM. He invented the idea of turning your problematic faves into a woobie. His family will thank you. No one needs his bible fanfic
Ben Jonson: 30%
This man is bitter that everyone reads Shakespeare even though he was WAY more popular. You do not want to be there when he let’s out his frustration. Also he wrote a play in which someone makes a deal with the devil for knowledge - we don’t have proof he didn’t do the same. risky
Christopher Marlowe: n/a
He’s already been assassinated again. Don’t bother
Horace Walpole: 90%
This dude made a fake gothic home and wrote fucking ‘Castle of Otranto’. Don’t let his shit talking distract you and you can get this one easy. Get wreked son. Just beware of possible giant armored helmets falling from the sky
George Elliot: -1000% i cannot believe you even asked. what the hell - you think you can take a woman who learned chemistry and medicine and all this shit just to show she’s cooler than men? you challenge her to a fight, she’ll hike up her skirt and kick your
Charles Dickens: 30% You might think that this is an easy one, but he wrote bazillion word novels, ran a newspaper, and went on book tours his entire life: he might not be strong, but he has stamina. Like damn. You might win if you remind him of his tragic childhood, but i wouldn’t risk going 800 rounds with a wordy englishman
Arthur Conan Doyle: 60% This man believes in fairies. that’s not relevant, I’m just upset about it. he was a doctor, which i usually take to mean he wasn’t so good at the fighting bit. if you ask houdini, he’ll come and fuck him up for free so i’d do that.
Edgar Allan Poe: stop leave him alone. he had such a shit life, no one loved his books, and fucking arthur cd up there basically stole the idea of sherlock holmes from something he’d written. I bet you didn’t know that - it’s bc no one remembers poe except emo kids and people who think it’s impressive to know the raven. buy him a coffee and give him bus fare to go home
Annabeth shifted uncomfortably in her seat, she could feel the eyes of the students on her. Her history teacher’s question rang in her ears; “What did you do over the summer, Annabeth?” It was such a simple question, a formality of sorts, five others in her class had been asked the same and their answers all of the same tune.
“Nothing. I pretty much just stayed in bed the whole time.”
“My dad and I went camping for a week. It was the worst experience of my life. I do not recommend it.”
“I stayed here.”
“I played video games and worked.”
She couldn’t very well say that she defeated Mother Earth and saved the entire world, everyone would think she was joking or crazy. Everyone except Percy.
Annabeth looked to her side at the empty desk where her boyfriend always sat, her pulse quickened and she squeezed her hands on her lap. She exhaled audibly through her nose, “oh nothing interesting Miss, I visited a few friends and met up with some relatives. You know, the standard stuff.”
Her teacher’s eyes narrowed. A few kids murmured in understanding and she heard their chairs scraping on the carpeted floor as they turned to the front. “Well,” she began, “that sounds lovely. Jordan?”
Annabeth released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in and dipped her head, silently praying for the day to end.
This was waiting in my inbox this morning and I just HAD TO DO SOMETHING.
Winter came rather like a surprise to those bustling about Skyhold. The air was always crisp and fresh, they were after all in the mountains, and outside their walls snow lay thick and gleaming. Everyone thought the transition from late autumn to winter wouldn’t be very noticeable. They were very wrong. The air seemed even clearer, the temperature dropped incredibly,and unless you were in the main hall, kitchen or had a room that was constantly heated you were doomed to be chilly. Or in Dorian’s case you were doomed to feeling like every limb was slowly freezing off. The mage groaned as his fingers felt stiffened around the tome he was working over once more.
How did they stand it?! By all that was holy this cold would be the death of him. And what an unworthy death for the scion of house Pavus. He sniffed and promptly sneezed afterwards. He was only barely able to keep in a dissatisfied whine. At the very least he still held his pride, damn it all.
Laughter from outside trickled in from the window in his little alcove, who in their right mind would - of course it had to be his Amatus and the touched elf, they were running around like children, shaping snow in their hands and throwing it at one another. What in the maker’s name was the point?! They’d get even colder. He sneezed miserably again and didn’t spot Sera pointing up at his window.
He was attempting to warm his fingers, still clutched around the bloody book, by breathing on them, lets see if south remedies work. Of course not. When a loud bang to his window startled him to attention. Looking over he saw a ball of snow slowly sliding down the glass and he stepped closer.
There on the ground stood Vaxus, smiling up at his window and pointed to something on the ground- Dorian flushed. There, in big letters was his name in the snow, and around it was twigs and stones shaped to look like a damned heart. Vaxus pressed his hands to his chest and gazed up at him with what Varric liked to call his “occasional lovestruck maiden look”. Dorian’s response was to duck under the window and hide, cheeks burning. Well… he was certainly warmer…now to discreetly get ahold of that sentimental fool, drag him to his room and have the lummox warm him up in front of the fire. After he’d melted that… thing on the ground first.
*the last one was labbeled wrong is Dustale not horrortale! thanks for the corre t!*
I was with a friend who discovered undertale just last week but she had no Idea how these AU worked I told her they’re fanmade and had nothing to do with the game itself. she didn’t undertood how they were based and after a long 2 hours chat I made this chart explaining how I understand the AU but it can be different from everyone canon. xD It was so fun and frustrating to do hahaha!
I just ex0lai ed her the AU I know. there are too many!!
Now that I’ve seen the Burcon panel video, my favourite part was Jared telling the crowd that he was expecting a little girl.
First, the crowd giving him such a warm round of applause and how genuinely proud he looked.
Second, Jensen’s reaction to the whole thing made me laugh. He points and laughs at Jared. Who fake cries.
This is just so hilarious to me. Jensen is getting him back for all those times at cons over the last few months where any time someone congratulated Jensen on the twins, Jared would do the same- point and laugh at Jensen. “Hahaha on the twins” (Torcon)
WHEN HE LITERALLY KNEW THE ENTIRE TIME THAT GEN WAS PREGNANT. AND JENSEN DID TOO. It was like they had this little private joke that they got to keep for months and Jensen got to get him back on stage. Such a good moment.