just gonna keep telling myself this from now on

Meet me in London

Simon meets Baz online and they become best friends.

Based on the prompt: Baz and Simon meet online and become internet friends and skype everyday and end up in love

As always a very big thank you to @eroticgropefest for being an amazing beta!

I met Baz three years ago on tumblr. One day I saw an edit of his on my dash and I went to check his blog. The guy made black and white aesthetics that looked awesome in a dark sort of way. So I started to follow him. After he reblogged a video of a guy playing violin, I decided to send him a message.

Dragonwings61: for a disturbed guy, you really have an interesting choice in music

Disturbed-pitch: So because I’m disturbed you feel like I’m not allowed to like classical music?

Dragonwings61: Shit sorry didn’t mean it like that.

Dragonwings61: What I meant to say was

Dragonwings61: I’ve never really heard classic music before but I really liked the song :)

Disturbed-pitch: It’s one of my favourites, you should try to listen to more :)

It started there and we haven’t stopped talking since. We became so close that last year I really wanted to see what he looked like. He’d become my best friend and I wanted to see his face.

Dragonwings61: Baaaaz

Dragonwings61: I wanna ask you something

Disturbed-pitch: Hey. What is it?

Dragonwings61: I’ve been thinking about this a lot

Dragonwings61: And I really don’t want you to freak out ok?

Disturbed-pitch: Go on.

Dragonwings61: I just

Dragonwings61: I really wanna see what you look like

Dragonwings61: pls don’t freak out, If you’re not comfortable with this pls forget I ever asked

Disturbed-pitch: It’s fine Simon… I thought about it myself quite a few times lately.

Dragonwings61: Ohhh

Dragonwings61: so is that a yes?

Disturbed-pitch: Yes I’d like to see your stupid face too :)

Dragonwings61: I bet your face looks more stupid than mine

Disturbed-pitch: We shall see

We exchanged photos and one day, I was having trouble with my homework–I’d never cared for math–and he wanted to help me out so we skyped. And I’m glad we did. Baz is beautiful. He rolls his eyes a lot at me and fucking sneers but… I just really like looking at him. I like Baz a lot.

After that we became even closer. We talked almost everyday, first only for a few minutes then for hours on end. We would just turn skype on and do our own thing, like studying, or reading. Baz even played violin a few times for me to see and it was so fucking beautiful. Everything he does is perfect.

Now it’s the end of the summer and I’m going to university in a few days. I haven’t figured out what I want to major in but I’ll try a few different classes and see what sticks.

I told Baz my plan of moving to London months ago–I live in Manchester and Baz leaves in Hampshire–and he hasn’t said a word as to where he’s going. I’d love to meet him one day… I’ve just never had the courage to ask him. But I really want to touch him, make sure he’s real. I mean, of course he’s real, but I’ve never seen him outside of my screen before.

I’m at my laptop scrolling through tumblr when Baz asks to skype. I accept.


“Hey Baz.” I smile at him. I’m always happy to see him.

“Listen… I’ve been meaning to tell you something for awhile.”

I stare at him through the screen. Why is he nervous? He’s making me feel nervous “Okay.”

“I just…” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair “You know that I’m going to university.”

I look at him expectantly. Is he finally telling me where he’s going? It’s not like him to keep things a secret; not from me anyway.

“This doesn’t have to mean anything but–” he continues, and he’s blushing right now and I feel like blushing myself just by the way he’s looking at me. “I’m going to London.”

“What?” Wait, what? Did he really just say–

“London. I’m going to fucking London, Simon.”

“Why?” I ask stupidly. But I start grinning at him like an idiot. We’re going to be in the same city. Fuck, I’m gonna be able to hang out with him and actually see his face.

“Well there’s a really good school there… Besides, there’s someone I was really hoping to meet in person.” I feel my cheeks burning as he says this.

Holy shit this is really happening. I’m going to finally meet Baz. “When are you moving to London?”

“I’m already here. I just arrived at my aunt’s flat a few hours ago.” Then he grabs his laptop and turns it around so that I can see his new room.

“Baz?” I call him, and he puts his laptop on the desk again.


“I’m gonna be in London in a few days.”

“I know–”

“Let’s meet?” I say unsure, interrupting him.

“I’d like that.” he tells me, half smiling.

And there’s nothing to lose now, so I might as well try my luck. “As in, a date.”

“Oh?” He looks surprised.

“Is that cool?”

“Fuck, of course it is, Simon.”


We agreed to meet at Kings Cross, Baz said he would pick me up when I arrived (everything that I own fits into a bag) and then we would go on our date. I can’t believe this is happening, that he actually said yes to go out with me.

I’ve been so nervous the last couple of days because of this, of finally going to meet him. But as the train arrives at the station and I exit the platform all that anxiety melts away when I notice him staring right at me.

Once I reach him I let my bag drop to the floor. I put my arms around him to pull him closer into a tight hug and he does the same. He feels so good this close to me, and smells incredible, I don’t know how to describe it other than that he smells posh and it really fits him.

“Baz.” I say, grinning into his neck. I still can’t believe that he’s actually here in front of me.

“Hello, Simon,” he says, and it’s muffled by my hair. He holds me tight against him longer than necessary before letting me go.

When I step back all I can focus on are his lips. They were so close to mine. And I just really want to kiss him.

I put my hand on his neck and make slow movements with my thumb. “I want to kiss you…” I start,“but we haven’t even been on a date yet.” That gets me a eye roll from him.

“We’re not exactly strangers,” he says, leaning into me.

He’s so close now; if I just leaned a bit forward, we’d be kissing. “I know, but I still want to take you on a–”

And then he kisses me.

(see my snowbaz fic masterlist)

Caught in the Flashes

(gif credit to the creator)

Pairing: Misha x Reader
Word Count: 1,062
Warnings: none
A/N: Here is my entry for @mysteriouslyme81‘s gif challenge! My prompt was the gif above. HUGE THANKS to @iwantthedean for brainstorming this and giving me a premise and @ellen-reincarnated1967 for the title. Italics are a flashback. Hope you guys like it! Anyway, feedback for this is awesome! :)

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Mind in the game (Part 2)

Originally posted by digmedownmendes

the hallway floor felt real cold underneath me, but I couldn’t care one bit because my harsh sobs came to me so hard that it was already difficult enough to get up the floor to walk out of the school and avoid all of those weird looks people gave to me when the came in and it was not an easy task to get my phone out and manage to call my brother who was already on his way to pick me up, this feeling i have inside of me is so painful, i wanna fight it on my own, and forget, just.. forget. 

i feel a sudden touch on my shoulders that make me raise my look, Brendon is already here, he works close to the school so it didn’t took him too long to get here. he is beyond worried, his look makes me predict that he is ready to kick anyone who made me cry like this. 

“Holy crap” he exclaims “(Y/n) what happened to you?” he wipes my tears with his thumbs waiting for my answer. 

“let’s just go” i sob, trying to get up by myself.

“Did someone said someone to you? (Y/n) tell m right now, i swear, i am gonna kick whoever’s butt-” 

“Brendon” i exclaim stopping him from keep taking “i broke up with him, okay? please, let’s go home, i can’t be here anymore” i say crying even more. 

he doesn’t ask questions, or put up a fight, he just slides an arm around my shoulders and guides me to the front door of the school. helping me covering from the rain with his umbrella while we walk to the car. We don’t take long until getting home, and i do my best on telling him the entire story between broken words and hiccups. 

He looks furious, even though he is trying to pretend he is not, in front of me, but while i tell him my story his face changes turning darker and darker, his over protective side empowering him more and more, and i knew, i wouldn’t stop it. 

“you gotta be fucking kidding me” he groans pulling on the garage of our house and parking the car “i am going to fucking kill him” 

“Brendon” i sniff and try to reach for his hand 

“No! (Y/n), who the fuck does he think he is?” he yells and hits the wheel with his hands “first he hides you for a year like you are a fucking piece of drugs or something like that, then he treats you like shit in front of everyone, makes you walk in the rain because-” 

“i know” i groan to make him stop 

“Then give one reason right now, to not drive back to that school and kick his ass” he says already mad enough and looking like he’s going to punch someone. 

“Because right now i just need someone” say shrugging “i want my brother, not my bodyguard” i clarify 

he sighs and nods, opening the door of his side of the car and getting out, i do too, and when we both meet, I don’t waste any time and hug him. i can fee his warm cooling me off from my still wet clothes, while rubbing my back softly, comforting me from my very first heartbreak. 

the day went by pretty fast, sadly, and the more the minutes passed, the closest the moment was for Michael to come home and to be right across my window. i was hoping to that moment to never happen, but I know it is almost impossible, Michael and i have been living next to each other for approximately a year and a half, and since then we’ve been seeing each other almost every night since he moved in,on one way or another i will have to face him at some point. 

 At dinner when my mom gets home, I have no other option than sit on the table, after an entire day of crying and sobbing on my pillow, she takes no time on noticing that i have been crying, and she does not think for a single second that it could be because of a boy. 

When she sees the dry tears on my face and sad expression, she hugs me, caresses my hair and asks me what’s wrong, and for a single second, i do not contain myself, i spit everything out. “I broke up with my boyfriend” i said and the look on her face was indescribable. 

she was surprised, not only for the fact i had a boyfriend and she didn’t know, also for the fact that i was so hurt about it, she could tell, that i was really in love and it was killing me to save such a secret from her. 

“i am so sorry mom” i cry and lean my head on her shoulder “I am so sorry” 

she understands and doesn’t asks questions, she knows I’ll tell her when i am ready. 

“I know you are love” she simply says “C’mon, let’s have hot chocolate, it’s good for the heart”

and that’s the moment when i know, if i had a real caring boyfriend i wouldn’t be crying to my mom for hiding a secret, one that it was not supposed to be a secret on the first. i need to be valuable, i don’t want to be hidden. and i’ll have someone who thinks i am worth it.

“What the hell was that about?”  He says in a protesting tone

He is right in front of me, sitting in my bed, he probably came inside my room by the window  when i was down with my mother. It makes me mad seeing him right in front of me, asking for an explanation of what happened he knows what’s going on and he knows I am not happy about it. How does he dare to ask such a thing?

“Get out of my room” I say in my normal voice And closing the door behind me

“No” he says “I want an explanation! (Y/n) you can’t make such a scene in front of everyone and then break up with me, no one knew we’re dating, you put my reputation in the game, and in fact, you completely ruined yours. Everyone thinks you’re a liar (Y/n), are you aware of what you’ve done?”

“You know what I heard in that entire thing? ‘Me, me, me, me!’” I say whispering/yelling my words and walking around my bed, getting closer to the window ready to pull it open. As an invitation to him to get the hell out.

“What are you trying to say?” He asks frowning.

“You’re a selfish asshole” I say vocalizing every single one of my words with as much clearly as a possibly can. 

He gasps like he was completely surprised and asks “How am i selfish?” he argues “i have been protecting you the whole time, in fact, i am doing it now, we have to think of something, people at our school is going to-” 

“I don’t care” i roll my eyes and turn my face around to stop looking at me “this is your fault, Michael! Don’t you understand? I am done” i say on my most serious tone and looking down at my feet. 

“What do you mean?” he says almost sounding desperate and i look of at him with a bored look “You can’t be serious, you can’t break up with me”

“i already did” i shrug and push on my half open window “i am sick of being a secret, i deserve to be with someone who is not ashamed of me” 

“What?” he says frowning and still not moving from my bed “i am not ashamed of you, (Y/n) you perfectly know why we are a secret, i am so close to being captain of the team, and all my friends are already voting for me for me to be king of prom in a couple of weeks, i can’t let anyone know that i am dating  the nerd i would-” he stops in track when realizing how he called me and stutters “i-i mean, not that you are but, you know what i mean, this is important, i need to have my reputation intact, and i already promised you, i will eventually tell everyone we-” 

“When?” i laugh ironically when he says that last thing “Gordon, it’s been a year already, and you know what? you keep making promises you are going to tell everyone and we will be a normal couple, but i am tired, i know, i am a nerd and i have no friends, all your super popular friends bully me, they have hit me, they have laugh at me, they stolen things from me, they have thrown things at me and i could continue the list, but you know what hurts me the most?” 

“Stop” he says quietly looking very angry at me.

“you have been there every single time, and you see what they do to me, and what do you say? absolutely nothing” i say angrily “they are mistreating your girlfriend right in front of your fucking face, it’s been a year already, i want things to change Michael” i exclaim, and before i even notice, i start crying “i wanna be able to go on dates with you, hold your hand, sit beside you on lunch, kiss you whenever i want no matter who is watching, and i honestly don’t care who says nothing about us as long as we can have a normal relationship!” i say pacing around my room “God dammit! i even want to be able to tell my mom about you, but no! i can’t do that either” i sob “Why Michael? Why do you make me go through this?”

“We can work something out-” he mumbles still trying to make it better

“No we can’t” i groan interrupting him and clean my own tears with the back of my hands “Don’t you understand Michael? i am so done with your bullshit, i am not valuable to you” 

“Can you at least hear me out?” he gets up from the bed “High school is mess up, okay?, do you actually know how i fucking love you?, i guess you do, but honestly, what do you want? I’ll do anything, a date?” he says looking at me and trying to smile, leading his hand to my cheek and cleaning a falling tear “it’s our anniversary, if that make you feel better i’ll take you on a date” 

“Okay” i nod “Then take me on a date” i cross my arms and i see his bright smile pointing at me “to the school cafeteria” he nods 

“After school” he finishes for me “Got it” 

“At lunch, you idiot” i roll my eyes and his smiles fade. 

“Babe” he chuckles “you perfectly know that i can’t do that, my friends-” 

i laugh “Then what’s the point?!” i exclaim “Where will you take me? your basement?” i say rolling my eyes “Oh no, even better, to the cemetery at dawn, where no one can see us because no one in the fucking school would be in such a place at that time!” 

“You are being dramatic” he states and gives a step closer in which i give a step back “Please (Y/n), i’m begging you ..” 

“Are going to tell you friends about me anytime soon?” i ask 

he stays quiet and looks down, passing his hand through his hair in frustration but still he looks up at me and shook his head, and I shrug, there was his answer, if he doesn’t speak up, i won’t take him back. period. 

He tries to reach for my hand but i pull apart and don’t let him touch me, he needs to understand how mad i am at him, and know that i am not willing to accept his apologies if he doesn’t do something. 

We seem interrupted, my bedroom door opens and the tall figure of my brother is shown, i can almost feel every single cell of Michael’s body growing in fear when he sees my brothers angry glancing at him and almost strangling him with his look. i don’t seem to notice it, but more and more tears are running on my face and quiet sobs are coming out of my chest.

“i am gonna say this once,” Brendon’s voice says quietly entering my room “You have 30 seconds to get the fuck out of my house” he says speaking directly at Michael “otherwise, someone’s eye is going to be black tomorrow, and i’ll give you a hint, it’s not gonna be mine’s or her’s” he says quietly “and next time, if i see you even an Inch close to her, i am going to kill you” he makes clear, making an intense eye contact “Understood?” 

Michael gasps and rolls his eyes “Look bro, i-” 

“one, two, three…” he starts counting and Michael rushes, walking past him and going down making his way to the front door, in the way mumbling a “we are not done” 

“i think we are” i respond to then hear my brother’s voice start counting faster and louder, three more seconds and Michael is already gone, from my house, from my life and from everything we’ve built in the past year. 

“Are you okay?” Brendon asks, getting closer to me

i shook my head, to then hug him, looking for a bit of comfort from someone “I don’t want to go back to school” i cry “Ever”

“I am sorry kiddo” he rubs my back, in confort. “i know it’s hard, but, at least look for the bright side, he is out of your way now” 

i shook my head “i did not wanted him to be out” i confess “i just want to be normal” i shrug “Is that a lot to ask for?”

my brother shooks his head, and pulls me in his arms closer to him, rocking me and mumbling sweet nothing, to hopefully stop me from crying, but, i don’t think it will work. 

“Life sucks” i sob on his chest and i see him nod. 

“I know kiddo” he affirms, nodding his head “It does suck


Request: a smut scenario with jb where you’re friends w benefits with him but you’ve realized your feelings for him and you break the relationship with him and he sees your classmate confessing to you! Thank you so much ~

Length: 2,089 words

Smut/Rated: M

Caution: is very smutty right from the beginning. Read with caution, children. 

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“Tell a Soul and I’ll Kill You” Pt. 3

Part 1

Part 2

Sam’s POV:
“Y/N wait!!”

This is not how I meant for this conversation to go. We were supposed to leave together, as an actual couple, my arm around her. I had no clue she felt like that, or went through all of that. Yeah sure, I’d seen first hand the stuff they said about Madison, but I never thought the same things happened to Y/N.

She didn’t turn around as I called her, so I picked up my pace to catch up to her. Once we were side by side, grabbed her hand and slowed down, hoping she’d stop so I could talk to her.

She turned to me, without making eye contact. “What, Sam?” she asked.

I didn’t really know where to go from here. I was just trying to stop her before I lost her. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that kind of stuff happened to you.”

“You never paid attention? You never looked at-“ she paused. “Never mind, it’s not your fault. Just don’t worry about it okay? Forget I said anything.”

She tried to keep walking and I stopped her again, placing myself right in her path.  “I can’t just forget that Y/N. Do you know how frustrated that makes me? I saw what Madison and G went through when they first got together, it almost ruined her, and their relationship.” I paused, not knowing how to say what I was going to next. I was feeling way too many things right now. Anger, confusion, worry. I could barely put together a sentence in my head. “Look, I guess it’s hard for you to understand because this is supposed to be a just sex kind of thing, but I feel that Y/N.”

She raised an eyebrow in confusion, but stayed silent.

“Knowing that you had to go through that kills me. I know we weren’t supposed to catch feelings, but… thinking about people calling you a slut or a ho or a gold digger makes me so angry.”

“Why, Sam?”

“Because over these past few months, I’ve started liking you. I didn’t mean to, it just kind of happened. And now all of a sudden I want to fucking destroy anyone who hurts you. And I want to be more than just your fuckbuddy. I want to be someone you’re proud to be with.”

“You are someone I’m proud to be with. I’m just terrified of what people’ll think. It was so hard to just sit there and take it when people said stuff about me. And now that it’s finally stopped, we started this, and I just don’t know if I can do it all over again.”

All I could do was stay silent. Hearing that she was proud to be with me washed away all of these insecurities I had that maybe I just wasn’t someone to be proud of. But knowing that the only thing holding us back was the harsh shit people are only confident in saying behind a screen frustrated me beyond what I thought possible.

She continued speaking. “You know, when I first came here with you guys, I met this group of people. I think they were Youtubers or something. They were cool at first and I got really close to this guy and his sister. And then they found out I came from Omaha with you guys, and suddenly they just started acting like I didn’t exist. Then I heard that they thought I was a slut, and I couldn’t be part of the image they upheld, and all of this other crap. And it felt like the worst thing people could ever say to me. Knowing that they knew me personally, and still went along with what everybody else thought sucked.”

I stepped closer and wrapped both arms around her. I could see her eyes watering and I squeezed her, as if nearly suffocating her was the way to dry her tears. After a few seconds she rested her hands on my back, bunching up my shirt in her fists. I heard her take in a sharp breath and I let her bury herself in my shirt, not caring if it got wet.

—Y/N’s POV—
I tried not to wet Sam’s t-shirt too much as we stood there in the middle of the sidewalk hugging. I was at war, part of me feeling uncomfortable crying on someone who I wasn’t even seriously dating, but another part of me felt like this was the most comfort I’d ever felt from someone else when I was distraught.

“They weren’t worth enough,” he started. “They didn’t know you well enough. You’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. You’re funny, and beautiful, and smart, and you have a comeback for every goddamn thing anyone says about you or the people you love. They were too dumb to get to know you but they didn’t deserve to anyways. Hell, I don’t deserve to know you, especially after how rude I was to you, but I was blessed enough to anyways. Fuck them, you have us and you always will.”

That just made me want to cry harder. I squeezed him as hard as I could and looked up at him. “Thank you for that. And you do ‘deserve’ to know me because you’re just as amazing as I am and I can’t think of anyone else I want to be with right now,” I said smiling as he wiped away a tear and the trail it left.

“Not even Nate?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes. “I told you, we’re just friends!! Why do you act so jealous of him?”

“I told you, Y/N, I like you, as more than just someone to hook up with. And it irritates me knowing that he can get you to go out on a date with him easily and we can only go out in the middle of the night, hidden from everyone else.”

“Sam, this isn’t a date, everyone’s here!” I exclaim.

“Because I invited everyone here! Look, I wasn’t gonna tell you, but he’s liked you for a while now. I held him off for a while, but once he asked you out, I didn’t know how else to stop him. So I butted in.”

“How do you know he likes me?”

He looks to the side and scratches the back of his neck. “He kind of um.. he told me.”

“And you couldn’t be bothered to tell me?”

“I didn’t know what i was feeling then. I just knew I wanted to keep you to myself.”

“So you’ve just been keeping it from me out of jealousy? For what, a month?”

“I wouldn’t call it jealousy,” he says.

“Then what would you call it?” He stays silent. “Exactly,” I say. I don’t know if I’m extremely frustrated or extremely happy that I wasn’t the only one feeling like there was more than just sex.

“Are you mad?” he asked.

I crossed my arms and gave him a look that hopefully said ‘you’re in trouble’. He looked guilty, and he gave me those big brown adorable eyes and a pout.

I lunged forward quickly and wrapped my arms around him tightly. “Yes,” I said. “But I like you too. For more than just sex.”

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed the side of my head. “Oh thank god. I thought I was going out on a limb alone.”

I lift my head, shaking it side to side. “No. I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks now too. And thank you for being here. And not laughing at me when I told you why.”

“I’d never,” he said, now burying his face in my neck. “And anyone who says anything about you, when you’re ready for us to tell fans of course, will have to go through me first.”

“Sure, sweetheart,” I say. “We should probably head back to the movie now.”

“Should we really?” he asks, “Ooorrr, we could go take a walk down the pier.”

“That sounds fun,” I say, and he grabs my hand, leading me down the street.




Thanks for reading, hope you liked it! Oh my gosh this has taken me so long. I’m sorry to anyone who was waiting for it. After volleyball season ended my mom decided it was time for us to move, which has just been a gigantic pain in my ass. So I’ve been stuck doing that. I think I have 4 request after this, some blurbs and stories I wanna write of my own after this and then I’m done. REQUESTS ARE OPEN BTW. I think the next thing I’m writing is a part 2 to One Wild Night, so look out for that.


anonymous asked:

Don't kill yourself fatass! You did nothing wrong. You're actually being really strong for Abe. If it was me I'd just push Heidi from a fucking bridge

Bro, don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill myself. I already went through that phase where I almost did so I’m not gonna. Yeah, that’s what Kyle tells me. He says I’m really strong for standing up to Heidi after taking so many years to do it. I really don’t want to but I gotta keep my baby boy happy. He loves her now that he knows her and I don’t get how or why, but I have to do shit for him.
You and me both, dude. I’d gladly push her off a bridge. After being stuck with her for that fucking long and having her be the mom of your kid, yeah, you’d wanna kill her too.

Basic Human Desire

“You know, Pinetree…” The blonde in front of me turns away, blushing. “I know it’s been weird, me hanging around not being a triangle and all. I mean, I know I’m here to protect you twins, but… well… maybe there can be more, you know?” He turns back to me, a hopeful look in his eyes. Is he suggesting…?

Of course he is.

“Bill.” I lean inward, my lips headed straight for his. “You know I’d love tha-”

“Whatcha up to, Pinetree?” This time the blonde is actually in front of me, and I scramble to get out of this derp position I’ve probably been holding for about five minutes.

“What? Oh, nothing, really. Trying to decide whether or not I should splurge on ice cream later, ya know?” I give him what has to be the most unconvincing smile ever, but he doesn’t push it past the odd look he gives me.

“Well, if you decide to do it, you know how I feel about chocolate.”

“Yeah yeah, I know. I’ll make sure to get a gallon.” I flash him a real smile this time, and he returns it before heading to the back of the shop to restock some merch. I almost breathe out a sigh of relief.

It’s been four years since I’ve first met the demon and defeated him alongside my family. Four years of him working under us, binded to my sister and I and providing us protection. In return, we provided him a body to have, rendering him undetected by Time Baby’s forces. It was hard finding a body to work with, but we somehow managed to find a teen in the coma ward who was more than happy to join his family. Car crashes suck, but it worked out in our favor this time.

The doctors called him a miracle. First time I’ve heard that body laugh. Lasted for awhile. It really turned some heads.

We really got lucky with the find. The surviving portions of the teen’s family had nothing to do with him, so it was stupidly easy for him to just leave and move into the shack. No ties to cut, nobody there to ask questions. Just a bit of bribery to exchange guardianship, a bit of a legal name change, and a switch of schools. Voila.

The body- Bill- is only a year older than me. He ended up with bright blonde hair and one blue eye. Yeah, one. Ironically- and here’s the kicker- the crash severely damaged his face, he had to get a bunch of surgery done, and he came out of it all with only one good eye and an eyepatch.

What. Are. The. Odds.

Other than that… he’s definitely not bad to look at. I didn’t realize it earlier in my teenhood, but now…

It’s problematic. I go to bed trying to talk myself out of this, these… feelings. They’re really stupid, to be honest. Probably completely superficial, you know? It’s just…

He’s changed a bit over the years. After coming to terms with the fact that we hold his fate in our hands, he’s mellowed out quite a bit. Being in a real human body with real hormones and emotions, as well as being around teenagers, he’s actually adopted our ways. He still has some magic that he uses when out of public view. And, if he concentrates, he can manipulate and enter dreams. But other than that, he’s more human than anything else. He’s actually making plans to attend college in two years and everything. Really different than the Cipher I knew when I was twelve.

Not completely, though. He managed to retain his personality over the years. Sarcastic. Manipulative. Witty. Charming when he wants to be. I’m not saying that ladies swoon as he approaches, but he definitely gets checked out. I’m no exception to this.

It didn’t take too long to realize I was bisexual. Bill wasn’t my first crush, some guy from Piedmont was. It actually wasn’t until last summer that I realized that I was falling. Since the Grunkles have guardianship over him, he stays with them at the Shack all year. Mabel and I have returned every summer, and every summer had pretty much been the same; working at the Shack, exploring the woods and all of its anomalies, and hanging out with Bill.

He’s actually been a great friend. Knowing the woods like the back of his hand, he’s taken us on so many adventures. Not that that’s the only thing we do. There’s always the typical pool days, going out for ice cream (where I learned his favorite), and hanging out at the mall with Pacifica. He’s a loner in town, so he didn’t go off and really make any friends outside of us. so he seems rather excited to see us every summer. (I’d usually credit that to how awesome Mabel and I are. Have to boost our own egos and everything.)

While every summer has been a repeat of the previous, last summer was a bit different. Mabel ended up getting together with Pacifica, leaving Bill and I with… quite a bit of alone time together.

It’s not easy being alone with an attractive person, especially not with the amount of personality he has. He’s always so curious, and so focused. Never has someone paid such full attention to me. In all, that’s probably what started it.

It’s only grown since then. Suddenly I’m noticing all the cute little things he does, like the way he brushes his hair behind his ear when he’s concentrating. The way he’ll scrunch up his nose after he sneezes, wriggling it for a second. The way he seems to think over every action before doing it, making him appear cautious and careful. I don’t know how I’ve missed all those moments year after year, but I’m glad I’ve started to catch them.

“We’re heading into town to talk with the Toby about maybe getting in an advertisement into his paper. Or start a scandal. Either or works.” Lee shrugs and Ford rolls his eyes. “Think you and Bill can manage the Shack?” I look around the empty room before looking back at them.

“I dunno, guys. It may be a bit too busy for just two people…”

“Shut your yap and get to work.” Lee’s having none of it, and both Ford and I laugh.

“Right away, Sir.” And then they’re gone, leaving me and him alone once more.

“Hey, Pinetree, heard the Stans. What’s up?” He walks out of the back, his shirt dusty from getting into all of the boxes.

“Oh, they’re just in town on some errands. We’re running the place right now.” I see him smirk at this.

“So they legally left us in charge of this place, so-”

“I don’t even know what you’re thinking, but the answer is no.”

He barks out a laugh. “But Pinetree! Think of all the improvements I can make! Who doesn’t love piles of ashes?” I facepalm, causing him to laugh louder. I try to resist, but soon am laughing alongside him.

“Oh yeah, I can see it now. Lee and Ford coming home to one big ash pile, and- not even to where I can hear it, below their breath- they just mutter ‘Dipper’.”

“Hey, what about me?”

“Oh, they’ll know it was you. But they’ll also know that I’d had to have given the okay for it to happen.”

“Fair enough, Pinetree. Fair enough.” He slows his laughing to a stop, clutching a bit at his sides. I find myself just as winded, though not from the laughing as much as the view…

Yeah, I have it bad.

“Why do you keep doing that, Pinetree?” Huh?

“Doing what?”

“Looking at me like that.” What?

“What?” My voice comes out an octave higher than it was supposed to, a telling feature for me. and Bill knows it. His smirk returns.

“Oh, this is gonna be good. What are you hiding, kid?”

“I’m only a year younger than you, in case you keep forgetting.”

“Irrelevant.” He flashes me his teeth. “Nice try, though. Now come on, spill.”

“Bill, really, it’s nothing.” I hate my voice, so much. Just return to normal already.

“And even higher. Wow. Must be some secret.” He gets closer to me, too close. I can count each freckle on his face. Can my heart just be a little quieter, please, he might actually hear it.

“Dipper.” Oh god, he lowered his voice. He knows that gets me to bend. “You realize that you’re blushing, right.”

“I’m just not used to people being in my space like this. It’s uncomfortable.”

“Dipper…” It’s stupid how much I love how my name sounds on his lips. “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“No. Look, we have a store to run and all-”

“Nobody’s here, and I doubt we’ll be busy today. We have time for a little chat.”

“I said no, Bill.” I turn away from him, but freeze at his next words.

“What if I told you that I knew you had a crush on me.”

Oh god, this is it. There’s not even a point in denying it, his tone tells me all I need to know. He’s known this for awhile. He’s probably been waiting for the perfect time to hold it over my head and everything.

“Yeah? So?” I still keep my back to him, unmoving. This clearly isn’t enough for him, because he walks around the front of me, getting just as close as before. I look down.


“What do you want?”

“Why are you shutting me out now? For the past two summers you and I have gotten really close. We’ve had a lot of great time together, telling each other things we wouldn’t usually say. Why not now?”

“You used to know everything, Bill, in your demon form. Me telling you petty things about my life probably didn’t mean anything to you, so no use in bringing that up.” I glance up at him, surprised to find his brows furrowed.

“What do you mean, it didn’t mean anything to me? Dipper, spending time with you has meant a lot. You and your sister have always been so close, and to even get near as close to you as you are to her is outstanding. I didn’t think I’d be able to do it, really.”

“Look, being defeated by you two and forced into this body to keep myself safe was never ideal. I’ve always considered myself too powerful for something like this to occur. But here we are, and here we’ve been. I mean, I’m still getting used to being human, with all of these strange emotions and customs, but I think I’ve adapted pretty well. And, after analyzing a particular feeling recently, I think I’ve formed a conclusion…”

“Yeah?” My voice is barely a whisper, I’m surprised he hears it. But he does. Like always.

“Yeah. See,” he shifts even closer to me, his hand trailing up and down my arm, like he does sometimes. “I’ve been getting this weird feeling around you. At first I thought it was a new form of hate, formed by the many years I’ve been under your control. But then I started reading into it, looking it up online, and you know what?”


“You and I are one in the same, kid. I feel it, too.”

My eyes are back on floor. I need to sweep, later. “Look, Bill, I’m not up to being manipulated today, so-”

“Manipulated? You think I’m manipulating you? For what?”

“Freedom, of course. You think just because I like you, and if I think you like me, I’ll let my guard down and release you from the deal?”

“You mean the deal that’s saving my demon ass from being detained by the Time Baby? That deal? Do you even realize how stupid you sound right now?”

“Hey!” My eyes shoot back up. “Look, I don’t know your current motive, but I know it has to be something.”

“And why’s that? you like me- can’t I just like you back? Isn’t that  basic human desire or something?”

“You’re not a human. You don’t think like us, Bill.”

“But don’t I? I’ve only been exposed to this for four years now, kid.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Trust me- I’m about as human as a demon can get. You know that. We’ve talked about it, and you’ve agreed with me before. I really can’t see why you’re arguing against it now.”

Because I know this can’t be really how you feel. I hear my thoughts echo outward into the room. Bill must’ve used his magic. I glare at the teen and try to push out of his way, but he stops.

“Dipper, wait.” For some reason, I comply.

“What?” He looks at me, really looks at me, and lifts up a hand to stroke my cheek. It’d be weird in any other context, but it’s oddly comforting right now.

“Please, believe me. I’ve lied and construed the truth about so many things in my time of existing. But not this. Not something as personal as this. He’s leaning forward and I find myself leaning forward and my eyes are slipping shut and-

We kiss.

It’s slightly awkward and entirely hesitant, but his lips are soft and my stomach is doing weird flips and I feel warm, in a happy way, and it’s strange but it feels really good. And then it’s over. I open my eyes.

His are still half-shut, and he’s smiling. “Hey there, Pinetree.” His voice is at a whisper now.

“Hey,” I whisper back, smiling just as wide.

“Wanna do that agai-” Ding! We both jump back as the doorbell goes off and a flood of customers come in. Thankfully, we’re out of sight, and we both laugh quietly in relief. Bill grabs the nearest fez off the counter, “We’ll resume this later, Pinetree.” He’s off with a hearty ‘WELCOME TO THE MYSTERY SHACK!’, leaving me to gather up my thoughts. Did he just…?

Of course he did. I run my tongue over my lips, still feeling the pressure of his.

I’m really looking forward to later.

Terrible Things  (Steve Rogers x reader)

Request:  Hi!! I wanted to send you this before I forget haha ((I have goldfish memory)) Could you do a Bucky or Steve x reader oneshot based on the song terrible things by mayday parade? It’s kinda angsty though haha. Only if you have time haha anyways enjoy your day!! Byeeee

Past events are written in italics.  

By the time I was your age, I’d give anything

To fall in love truly, was all I could think

That’s when I met your mother, the girl of my dreams

The most beautiful woman, that I’d ever seen

“Dad, if you don’t know how to tie a bowtie, just tell me and I’ll have someone else do it.  I’m sure Tony would have it done by now.”

“Son, just don’t.”

Steve’s tongue was poking out from the corner of his mouth as he struggled to get the tie just right, quietly cursing under his breath just enough to feel some satisfaction but not so loud that anyone would hear it.  After countless attempts, he pulled the strip of cloth from around your son’s neck and put it around his own.  “I can only do a tie if I’m wearing it,” he grumbled as his fingers once again began to attempt to maneuver the silk into anything presentable.

The boy laughed, looking past his father to watch in the mirror as he buttoned his vest and smoothed out the material with slightly shaky hands.  “Dad, you look more nervous than I do.  I swear, if mom could see you now, she’d die laughing.”

Steve closed his eyes and the boy groaned, slapping his hand over his eyes and turning away.  The joke was a simple mistake, not meant to cause the stabbing pain in Steve’s chest that would take hours of solitude and alcohol to quell.  Steve slowly opened his eyes and returned to the task at hand, putting on his best stoic front.

“Dad, I didn’t mean to…it was a slip.  I’m sorry.”

Keep reading

More Than Friends- Justin Bieber IMAGINE ✨

“ Dear Diary,

Justin and I have been bestfriends for awhile and I trust him with everything, the only thing he doesn’t know is that I’m in love with him, I’m so scared to tell him cause of what he would say…. I really love what I have with him and I wouldn’t give it up for the world. Well me and him are going out today , we do every first Saturday of the month. Everytime I see him I just get butterflies , it hurts wanting to be more then friends but being scared to say anything, but I guess I’m gonna have to live with it for now.”

I look at the time and notice I should start getting ready to hang out with justin instead of writing about him in my diary. I get up and head to the bathroom and start getting ready, after about 30 minuets of trying to get my makeup not to look horrendous I fix up my hair and put on some jeans , a crop top and cardigan with some boots then I go look in the mirror and tell myself I’m hot ( even tho I look 12) I gather my things and put them on the bed but then I realize my hair is being annoying so I go back in the bathroom to fix it up.


My text aren’t going through to Y/N to tell her I’m at her house so I’m gonna just go in her house, I’m her bestfriend anyway she’s used to this. I make my way up to her room wanting to suprise her that I’m here, I go in and notice she’s not there, I look around and see a open notebook, it almost looks like a diary. Me being the nosey person I am, I take a glance at it. I look down and read

“Justin and I have been bestfriends for awhile and I trust him with everything, the only thing he doesn’t know is that I’m in love with him, I’m so scared to tell him cause of what he would say…. ”

“What ?! ” I say as my eyes open up.

Y/N , in love with me? What?! I’m socked for words and really don’t know what to say.

“Justin! You’re here!”

I look back and see Y/N , looking beautiful as ever.

“Uh, yea. I just came in since my text weren’t going through and well we are just that close.” I laugh awkwardly…..

“Well let’s get going” she says smiling , gesturing us out the door.

“Yea , let’s go.”

-later on , out to eat-


Justin has been acting weird since we left the house, I wonder if I did something wrong? He wouldn’t look me in the eyes , not once! It’s really bothering me.

“Justin, is something wrong? ” I ask

He just looks at me with a blank face.

“N-No… Nothing is wrong, do you know what you’re gonna order yet?” He says looking at his menu

“Um, I think… I wanna try the ribs! Should I get barbecue or normal?!”

“Whatever you want man”

I look down , irritated at how he’s acting.

“Justin just tell me what’s wrong?!

“You’re gonna be mad at me..”

“What happened?!”

“Well….” He looks away

“Just tell me!”

“I kinda , sorta , read your diary?”

“WHAT?!” I say , my eyes widening


“Where did you read until ?”

“That you’re in love with me.”

Oh my god, why is this happening to me?! He knows now what is he gonna say? He would never like a girl like me, now it’s gonna be all awkward and just terrible. This can’t be happening.

“I have to go” I leave and go outside in front of the restaurant and think to myself how screwed I am. This is so embarrassing how can this happen to me?! Ugh how are things ever gonna be the same. I star tearing up as I feel a hand touch my shoulder , it’s justin.

“ y/n! Why are you being like this”

“Being like what!? You’re the one who read my diary , and now you know.”

“Listen y/n , I don’t even know why you would keep this from me, I mean we tell each other everything.”

“I just… I thought”

“You thought what?”

“ you wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore if you found out.” I say looking away

“Well you’re right…. I don’t want to be friends anymore.”

“What?” I say looking up at him.

“I wanna be yours.” He says


“Stop saying “what”

“So, you like me?”

“No, I love you”


He pulls my chin up and leaves a soft kiss on my lips.


I smile at him, can’t help but to blush.

“Come on cutie, let’s get back to our date. We got ribs to eat!” He says taking me by the hand and leading us back to our table.

Side note: Hey guys it’s natalie! 😊 told you guys I was gonna try to be more active!! But this was a request so I hope you like it! 💖

How can you expect me NOT to ship Wilde Hopps

when Nick’s official playlist has songs with lyrics like this:

Get dressed, jump out of bed
You do it best
Are you OK?

I’ve been all around this town
Everybody’s singing the same song for ten years

I’ll wait for you
Will you wait for me too?

And they sacrifice their lives
In their land of all closed eyes
I’ve been saying it a billion times, and I’ll say it again
So long my adversary and friend

Don’t go that way
I’ll wait for you

I’m tired of all your friends
Banging down your door
Get up in the morning and give it your all

So long my friend and adversary
Oh I’ll be waitin’ for you
-Stokes, Under the Cover of Darkness

and this:

Well she’s all you’d ever want,
She’s the kind they’d like to flaunt and take to dinner.
Well she always knows her place.
She’s got style, she’s got grace, She’s a winner.
She’s a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She’s a Lady.
Talkin’ about that little lady, and the lady is mine.
Well she’s never in the way
Always something nice to say, Oh what a blessing.
I can leave her on her own
Knowing she’s okay alone, and there’s no messing.
She’s a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She’s a lady.
-Tom Jones, She’s a Lady

and and let’s not forget this too:

Run and hide, it’s gonna be bad tonight
Cause here comes your devil side
It’s gonna ruin me
It’s almost like, slow motion suicide
Watching your devil side, get between you and me

So tell me what I need to do
To keep myself away from you
To keep myself from going down
All the way down with you

Still I want you, but not for your devil side
Not for your haunted life, just for you
So tell me why I deal with your devil side
I deal with your dangerous mind, but never with you
Who’s gonna save you now, who’s gonna save you?
-Foxes, Devil Side
(You will not convince me that Nick doesn’t listen to this song on his i-pod and pretend it’s Judy who’s singing it to him.)

Seriously, that’s not even half of it! So many of his songs just scream Judy, and if you tell me that the creators didn’t do that on purpose or without a reason then..they’re sick sadists who like to crush our hearts with their bare hands.

Nick Wilde Official Playlist on Spotify (x)


This one he got a princely racket
That’s what I said now
Got some Big Seal upon his jacket
Ain’t in his head now
You marry him, your father will condone you
How ‘bout that now
You marry me, your father will disown you
He’ll eat his hat, now ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Marry him, marry me
I’m the one that loved you baby can’t you see?
Ain’t got no future or family tree
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be
I know what a prince and lover ought be
-Spin Doctor, Two Princes

the soul has bandaged moments

fandom: gravity falls
characters: stanford pines, stanley pines
words: 1386

The Soul has Bandaged moments -
When too appalled to stir -
She feels some ghastly Fright come up
And stop to look at her

-Emily Dickinson

Sometimes, having someone to talk to is scary and healing at the exact same time.

[AO3 link]

Keep reading

I Can’t (Part 4/?) (Barton/Barnes/Rogers x reader)

Part 3

“Did she get it?” Steve asked urgently over the comms, waiting for Clint and Natasha to arrive at the quinjet.  “Barton, did she give you anything for me before she ran off?”

Clint shot a questioning look at Nat as they ran, now completely confused about what was happening and how everything was tied together. He thought that he knew you, and now he knew absolutely nothing, but was more determined than ever to figure it out. “Um, yeah she did.  We’re almost there, just hold on.”  He signed off and stopped, grabbing her arm to jolt her to a halt.  “What the hell is happening?  Steve is in on this too?  Nat, I don’t like anything about this.  This feels really…wrong.”

Keep reading

sentence meme, paramore edition;
  • “Not quite a victory to run from your problems, but it’s the only plan that I got.”
  • “You can’t run from your shame.”
  • “Maybe if my heart stops beating it won’t hurt this much.”
  • “So what are you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you?”
  • “You never said this wasn’t what you wanted.”
  • “Keep your feet on the ground when your head’s in the clouds.”
  • “I’m not sorry at all - I’d do it over again.”
  • “Why are you telling me goodbye? Aren’t you gonna stay the night?”
  • “I won’t let you fall away from me.”
  • “I think I’ll pace my apartment a few times and fall asleep on the couch.”
  • “I’m not the villain, despite what you’re always preaching.”
  • “Why can’t you stay just long enough to explain?”
  • “It’s not a dream anymore.”
  • “Up until now I had sworn to myself that I’m content with loneliness.”
  • “Don’t pretend that it’s over.”
  • “I noticed your eyes are always glued to me.”
  • “This time I will be listening.”
  • “I’ll write you just to let you know that I’m alright.”
  • “Some things just make sense, and one of those is you and I.”
  • “Don’t try to take this from me.”
  • “This place we live, it is not where we belong.”
  • “You are not useless.”
  • “I believe that there’s hope buried beneath it all.”
  • “If you thought I’d leave then you were wrong, ‘cause I won’t stop holding on.”
  • “I fear I might break, and I fear I can’t take it.”
  • “Don’t wanna hear your sad songs - I don’t wanna feel your pain.”
  • “Why do we like to hurt so much?”
  • “Right now you’re the only reason I’m not letting go.”
  • “I can’t win your losing fight all the time.”
  • “You don’t deserve a point of view if the only thing you see is you.”
  • “I think we’re taking this too far.”
  • “Why do you care what people think?”
  • “You should be alone with me.”
  • “It’s not that I don’t feel the pain it’s just I’m not afraid of hurting anymore.”
  • “You don’t know what you do to me.”
  • “I won’t let you give up on a miracle when it might save you.”
  • “I told ‘em all where to stick it.”
  • “Get in my car and we’ll drive around - we’ll make believe we are free." 

anonymous asked:

I tried to sew something for my plush toy today and I failed miserably. It was my first try but still I feel really sad and insecure now. I want to start with cosplay but just this fail attempt today makes me think maybe it's a better idea just to give up. I don't even know why I sent you this.. probably I'm just hoping for someone to tell me to keep trying. Sorry to bother you.

Oh my God, yo. Yoooooo. I’m gonna show you a picture, and you can laugh if you want to, but I want you to remember that sewing is not a magical gift that is suddenly bestowed upon people: it is an acquired skill. (Also, sewing in small scale is fucking hard; I barely do it)

Say hello to 12 year old Shiki from 11 years ago and the first costume I ever made by myself.

Now, “Hey that doesn’t look awful” but that’s all the photographer and the fabric, and none of me. This costume has no hems. None. I just cut the fabric and ran with it. Seams? I GLUED EVERYTHING TOGETHER. There is one spot where I tried to sew it; I think there was still tissue paper left in the stitching because I didn’t know about teflon presser feet. The wig… God bless this photographer, that’s all I’m saying.

See that second belt that’s trying to fall off my costume? That’s how bad I was at fitting things. Speaking of fitting, the body is literally a rectangle. No shape. None. It was a complete train wreck. And you know what?

I HAD A FUCKING BLAST. IT WAS AWESOME. I didn’t give a fuck that I didn’t have hems, I was Dark Mousy and that was enough for me. And the even better part? I never made something quite that awful again. I learned. I practiced. I got better because that’s what happens when you do something a lot. I couldn’t sew a straight line to save my life back then, but now I can and not just because my motor controls improved; I picked up tips and techniques as I went. The combination of the two meant my end product got better. That’s all it is.

Practice + Acquired Knowledge = improvement

Cute Story... (dammit Hiddleston...)

This is a sweet little true story about a sweet darling doll of a lady, who as of today, becomes one of us… Hiddlestoner, Slore, (insert appropriate description)… yes… down the rabbit hole… join us in hell, we have cook-.. no, we have liquor and cookies… sweetest 92 yo I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing… I will refer to her as Pansy, because, well… that’s her name… lol… the most important aspect to understand is that Pansy is very proper, very old school, etiquette and manners rule, feelings are withheld, well read but doesn’t flaunt it… never in the years I’ve known Pansy, has she ever uttered a foul word about anyone, never a swear, never even a harsh tone… the woman has amazing ability of never letting anything uncouth leave her lips… basically, my opposite with regards to the potty mouth, lol!! So… I’m having a visit with Pansy today… after a nice treat of homemade cookies and lemonade, she asked me the strangest question… “Sweetheart, tell me what you know about this celebrity, Tom Hiddleston…” and at this point, I’m internally chastising myself because I’m gonna let the cat out of the bag, she’s going to find out how insane I actually am… “Alright, Ms. Pansy… What do you want to know?”… “Oh, sweetie, just whatever you know… I just like to keep up to date about people I read about and I read an article about a Hank Williams movie and Tom Hiddleston was interviewed and he peaked my interest with all he did to prepare for the movie. Is it true that he is from England?” ok… now I’m about to flip out!! what do I tell her about first… ok, let’s keep this professional and not go all sex craved fangirl in front of Ms. Pansy… soooooo, I start with “yes, Ms. Pansy, he’s from London…” and then I very lightly touch on his other roles and Shakespeare and UNICEF and … ok I didn’t go completely batshit and talk about everything (Hiddlesbum, floof, freckles, eyes, lip licking, tight pants… sorry, getting off track here…)and let Ms. Pansy know I was completely enamored by Mr. Tom… ugh… however… now comes the best thing I have ever heard this beautiful tiny goddess utter…. “Well, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers…” (insert mic drop here)😱 my sweet Ms. Pansy… welcome to the hell that is Mr. Thomas William Hiddleston… it would bid you well to take up drinking… *sigh* … the mighty fall… well played Mr. Hiddleston… well played…

Originally posted by lovably-unlovable

Hi Bumming Friends, Prikle here.

So ever since we got popular from the Christmas Special in 2012, people have been demanding more Bumming Crew animations in the comment section of all our videos. I’m just posting to tell you what’s going on right now with myself and the rest of the crew, keep you up to date and all. For those who really want to see a Bumming animation well… you’re gonna have to wait.

First of all, right now both c0ke and I have applied to go to an animation institute in Denmark, which is not easy to get into. This is really stressful, especially for me because my immigration plans and visa depends on it. I know if I get in, they won’t be easy on me financially, which brings me to my second point.

I’m currently employed but don’t get enough work shifts, so I’m looking for a second job. I’m also working on animations for other people right now to get some exposure and money. One of those things is Skeff by Paul ter Voorde, the others I shouldn’t mention until they are released, I think. So my time animating will be spent doing commissioned work and stuff on Skeff until I get a lot of money and feel financially secure, or move to Denmark.

The rest of the crew are busy as always. Timbo is doing his last year of upper high, Harry is working full time and Johnny is working full time. We hardly ever get to talk together anymore, so the overall vibe that we get when we work together is not as obvious. We just need to take time off Bumming and focus on our own things right now because everyone’s top priority should not be something we make for fun and in our spare time.

I’ve been extremely worried about what’s going to happen this year with moving to Denmark and my relationship with Johnny, and the last thing I need is people pestering me (and the rest of the guys to a lesser extent) to make something that is essentially a waste of time for me right now. I understand that you may be disappointed by this but there’s nothing I can do. I’m usually the only person that makes the animations and since it’s a one man job, its very time consuming.

I would appreciate if you took this seriously and help us by politely telling anyone who asks when the next animation comes out, that we’re all busy and I don’t just pull this stuff out of my arse. We try to have fun with Bumming Crew, but it starts to feel like a chore when people bug us about it all the time.

We all have more important things to do, and we take a lot of time off when we edit videos for you. Don’t forget that Bumming isn’t about animation, we like just being silly too. If you subbed for just the animation, you may as well unsubscribe because we’re not that kind of channel.

Thanks guys.


UPDATE (20/06/14): So I got into the Animation Workshop! That’s great news, but as of right now I’m looking for money and apartments with Johnny, and a whole lot of forms and visa stuff haven’t been taken care of yet.

I’ve quit my low paying part time job and I’ve picked up a few animation jobs, such as weebl animations, and started a new silly series, Shit Demons. Timbo is a voice actor and character in it, so you should check it out if you havent already!

I shouldn’t talk about my job offers until they kick off, but you should definitely subscribe to my youtube channel and iamprikle on tumblr if you do happen to be following Bumming Crew for animation, because they will probably update more than this page.

Hope you guys have a good future, cus I’m feeling pretty good about this year myself ♥

Back in the days I also get that a lot from my peers. They say my drawings are like robot or dull statue artificially posing to act a scene.

I think my drawings started to have more life and motion when I changed my drawing and thought process [though I forgot when I started doing this].

Back then I just draw what comes to mind, for example, fanart of Shampoo from Ranma ½. My mind tells me draw Shampoo, then I think of her outfit, hairstyle, etc. Then as I draw my mind keeps on telling me “it has to look like Shampoo”. End result, stiff drawing that looks like Shampoo.

Whereas now, before I draw I ask myself why am I gonna draw this. For example, a concept. I’m going to create an illustration based on a concept. For example, the concept or my interpretation of “meaning”. I start by gathering all the ideas I want my illustration to have.

I wanted my drawing to have:

  • A face that says I feel terrible but I don’t give a fuck.
  • A graceful movement or gesture. Something that shows determination despite an obstacle.
  • Flowing objects that will represent the character’s movement, and some clutter to represent chaos or to represent that there are hindrances to the character’s mind/feelings.
  • When I think about hindrance, I then thought the clutter wasn’t enough. I wanted it to be painful. I want knives, blood, and more knives. Knives with blood. And beauty.

I now proceed to a very rough thumbnail sketch. The thumbnail sketch must contain all the elements I want my drawing to have. For me this is one of the most time consuming and frustrating part, because this is the area where I brainstorm the layout of the illustration. The character gesture will help me in placing all the elements I wanted. Doesn’t have to be dynamic all the time as long as the elements will flow in coordination to something pleasant to look at. It will give me an idea of how the overall movement in the piece would flow.

Once the thumbnail is complete, I check if satisfies the concept or idea I had in mind. I ask myself if I like how the elements are placed, then I imagine how the finished illustration could look like. Then I proceed to completing the illustration. [Anatomy checking, detail pencilling, lineart, then flats, then rendering]

As long as it is not a study, or a style exploration, or a commissioned illustration with specific details to follow, I will go with a rendering method that I think would best fit the illustration I had in mind.

On the finished illustration [in this case, doodle], she can have a different hairstyle. Can be a hime cut or some curls. She can even have her left hand in a peace sign kawaii moe moe gesture. Or the flowing elements can be feathers, or petals, or water, or birds. For me, as long as the list of things I wanted my drawing to have are in the final illustration, the other elements are okay to be changed or altered. It will still satisfy the concept I originally planned.

In my opinion, and based on my experience, I think it is very important to have much freedom in creating the thumbnail sketch. It should be able to satisfy me. So I drop all the technical stuff [anatomy, design, etc], and focus mainly on the emotions I want my drawing to have. I think in a way it is a much more honest approach because sometimes being paranoid on technical stuff kills the feelings of the drawing.

To cut it short:

  • Thumbnail sketch - very important. must contain feels, freedom, and layout.
  • Technical stuff - also very very important. but it should go after thumbnail sketch and not while in thumbnail sketch.

Sorry long and messy post, but I hope it somehow helps! > u <;;;;;

I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved. That I’d keep my mouth shut and just let it play out. I mean, by now, we’ve already heard literally every opinion, analysis, and theory from both sides. Why throw my hat in there, too?

But I’ve watched the footage this morning more times than I can count. I’ve seen the scores of panicked civilians fighting for safety, and, I’m sorry, but I can’t keep my mouth shut about this anymore.

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