just girly things

Okay I’d like to send a formal ‘fuck you’ to my uterus, which sent me my period one day early just to ruin a cute pair of underwear, and then took it away, and I’m now on day 6 of ‘where the fuck is my period’, and I know for a fact it’s bitch ass is going to remain missing until I’m sitting on the fucking beach next week, because this literally would not be the first time my always-consistent period showed up super late just because I’m going on vacation.

I should just open a period store

It’ll sell pads, tampons, diva cups, assorted pain killers, sweat pants, comfortable underwear, XXXL t-shirts, fuzzy socks, heating pads, hot water bottles.. There will be a snack session, assorted sweet and salty treats, assorted flowers, stuffed animals, people can drop off coupons (Free ice cream cone anyone?) as donations.. There will be a lounge in the back of the store where you can chill and watch chick flicks and snack and bitch about your bitchiness, it’ll be great