just felt the need to point this out

anonymous asked:

35 reader and matt Murdock :))))

35: “Why’re you dressed like that?” - “Does that mean it looks good, or should I change?”

(Side note: I’m only ten episodes into Daredevil, so bear with me!) (P.S. Also, sorry if this is terrible?? I feel like I’m really only pretending to be a writer at this point lmao) 


“Hey, I’m here!” 

You knew Matt had probably heard you coming before you’d even set sight on his door, but you still felt the need to call out to him as you let yourself into his apartment. Maybe it was more courtesy than necessity but, in spite of the fact that he’d given you a key a few weeks ago, you still didn’t quite feel comfortable just walking in unannounced. 

“Be out in a minute!” His voice came from his bedroom, and for a moment you considered just joining him in there. The two of you had planned on just spending the night in with your laptop, watching (well, you watching and him listening to) your favorite Netflix show, and ordering pizza from around the block. But now that you were here, spending the night in bed seemed like a much more appealing alternative. 

Before you could decide, Matt emerged from his room, looking dapper in a black suit. You cocked an eyebrow at him, momentarily forgetting that he couldn’t see you. 

Why are you dressed like that? You asked, perching carefully on the arm of the couch. Glancing down at yourself, you almost laughed out loud at the stark contrast between your outfits, you being clad in sweatpants and an old t-shirt and him looking like he just stepped off the cover of a magazine. 

Does that mean it looks good, or should I change? If I’m telling the truth, I’m never really sure if I match or not,” Matt replied, his lips quirking up somewhere between a smile and a smirk. You snorted, reaching out for him as he made his way towards you. 

“No, trust me, you look good,” you said, pulling him in for a quick kiss when he got close enough. “But I currently look homeless. I thought we were hanging out here tonight?” 

“Plans can change. Tonight I want to take my girlfriend out and show the whole city how beautiful she is.” 

“I could literally have a dragon’s head and sloth arms, and you would never know,” you teased. He laughed at this, placing his hands on either side of your neck and leaning in to kiss you gently. 

“Come on, dragon lady,” he quipped as he pulled away. “Your red dress is still hanging in my closet from the last time…” Trailing off, you both took a moment to remember the last night you wore that dress, and how eager he was to take it off of you at 3 AM when he’d finally gotten you home. 

“You sure you don’t wanna just stay here?” You whispered, tugging at the lapels on his suit jacket. He groaned, pressing his forehead to yours; his eyes heavy-lidded as you ran your fingers down his chest, stopping when you neared his hips. “Hmm?” You hummed, prompting him to answer. 

“Okay, your idea is better. Bedroom?” You grinned at the strain in his voice, already pushing past him before he reached the end of his sentence. He was following you before you even responded back. 

“Bedroom.”

it’s a song about kids writing to me and some of the time it’s really heavy and inappropriate, like kids telling me they’re going to kill themselves that night, which is really unfair on me because I can’t do anything about it. So, “Don’t Lean On Me” is “don’t lean on me, because I’m having the exact same fucking issue right here”. I try and give kids help and point them in the right direction, but there’s only so much I can do.” “I don’t feel physically equipped to handle some of these notes. I have felt physically ill after reading some of these letters, just hearing the sheer desperation is enough to bring tears to my eyes…  I am dealing with depression and anxiety, so I can fully empathise with everyone out there that has it, to whichever degree they are dealing with it, but I remain an inadequate as an advice-giver. Sometimes the only advice I need is knowing that someone out there understands and I hope I can give that to you personally” – Joel Birch on “Dont Lean On Me

Done. - Bucky Barnes

request:  prompt one 25 38 41 buckyyy @aweways

summary: One training session with Bucky turns nasty and soon your ready to hand in your resignation. But does Bucky really want to see you go so soon? 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: angst / fluff / asshole!Bucky / fluffy!bucky /


“I just don’t see the point, Bucky!” Letting out a frustrated growl as the Soldier rolled his eyes again, I tucked my head behind my knees, trying to regain my vision and a healthy heart beat again.

For some reason today, Bucky was not letting me go down without a fight. Maybe it was the fact that I was his first ‘Trainee’ and he felt the need to get it right, or the fact that Steve supervised the training process and if I didn’t get better, he’d be disappointed. No one likes it when the Captain is disappointed, it felt as if you punched a kitten when I caused disappointment to gather in his baby blue eyes.

“Get it, now. I’m not kidding Charlie, now get up and keep going.” Embarrassment at my ass being kicked in our gym filled with all of us Avengers, training for the next deathly task we had to take.

The way he’d been kicking my ass, I was 90% sure my ass had vanished.

I had no ass to be kicked anymore, it had fallen off when he did his last move of literally kicking me in the ass so I’d stumble to the ground. I felt red flames on my cheeks, and the stare’s that were starting made me freeze.

I’d rather be smothered to death with a couch pillow than exerting any more energy in this session. I muttered to Bucky with my face hidden, my head was on my knees in pure shame.

“I can’t…”

“I’m sorry, what was that? I don’t think I heard you correctly!”

“I said, I can’t anymore…” A crack at the end gave my eyes the feeling to leak with salty drops of ‘weakness’. I didn’t want to become more pathetic than I already was, and crying was as pathetic as this moment could get for me.

“We don’t use ‘I can’t’ here. If you want to be an Avenger, then act like one, dammit!”

“I’m trying!” I cried out, finally looking up at the chocolate hair and glaring blue eyes that stared down at me with such intensity. Maybe I wasn’t good enough, maybe it was for the best if I left…

What the hell is wrong with you? Dammit. Okay.. well, maybe it’s best if you throw in the damn towel now. Before you get yourself and the rest of us killed out on missions!”

Bucky’s words stung, but what stung more was that no one raised an objection. They just were in some silent agreement with Bucky.

“Wha-”

“If that’s what you think is best, then by all means…” I turned around to see the twin doors open by FRIDAY listening to our conversation. What a cold hearted bitch, that AI was…

The gym was deadly silent now, Sam stopped punching the bag that Steve was effortlessly holding. Tony wasn’t spotting Clint anymore at the weights and so Barton laid there, with his head poking up to watch Bucky and I exchange our heated argument. Breathing in heavily like everyone else was. The gym air felt thick now, to me. It was thick with pity.

I was stumbling to my feet now, holding onto my knees as I got up on my feet. I felt like the wind just got knocked out of my chest, just from these small movements. It was painful enough to have the attention of everyone in the room, but to be this feeble and vulnerable…this felt like a whole new level of humiliation that I’ve unlocked in a very cruel video game.

I prayed for someone to at least look at me and see I needed some help! No one met my eyes that spun while I stood still, even with the room spinning, no movement was heard throughout the gym, nothing but Bucky’s invisible shoving at me to get the hell out of this gym.

I was on my own, just like before. I have always been on my own. Even after I had joined this group of misfits, I was the one looking in from the outside.

I somehow made it to the gym door, and grasped onto it, catching my dying breaths. I felt like I was going to be sick, and I wasn’t going to shame myself further by vomiting on my exit out of this gymnasium hell.

I gathered a steady balance and immediately set myself off to the bathroom down the hall. It was private so I could sob with no interruptions. Getting there was easy. Throwing up was easier. Coming to terms with the fact that I’d just unveiled my weakness in front of the people I called, ‘family’? A family that frowned on weakness, by the way. That was something by mind couldn’t conquer, or convey. How was I ever going to get off of this cold tile and make it to my room? What was going to happen next to me? Would I be kicked off? Or just sent into filing mission reports with the nerds in the basement who all had this weird look of fascination every time they saw me bring them the files that needed to be written up. It creeped me out, and I really didn’t want to leave Stark tower, too.

“FUCK!” I yelled to the audience of the vacant bathroom. I hated this damn world right now, nothing could get worse. I was absolutely sure nothing would be worse than right now.

Today, though, the lord was mad at something I’d done in the past, I believe. Because after splashing my face with cold water, washing out my mouth and smoothing down my unpleasant post-gym hair-frizz, I walked out of the bathroom, ready to bolt to the elevators and get to my room as fast as possible.

However, I was blocked by a 200 lb mass of muscle that had been lingering outside the door, anxiously waiting for the lock to turn and for me to emerge.

I yelped and felt my tired knees buckle but before I smashed my body onto the tiling, I was caught by two strong hands. Two strong, strangely different in texture and temperature, hands.

“Woah, sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” Opening my eyes I was met with eyes that we’re the summer sky’s afternoon colored blue. The midnight’s bewitching sky was the color of straight hair that framed the face that those eyes belonged to.

Bucky.

“S-s-sorry,” I muttered, feeling a weird mix of anger, fear, and embarrassment inside my chest. I stood up as fast as I could and shook myself out of those, surprisingly comfortable, arms. “I came here to just say that what happened in the gym today was complete-”

“Save it. What you said in there was all true. So don’t apologize for shoving my face in a pie of reality…” I tried to push my way past the mass of man but Bucky put an arm up against the doorframe, blocking me once again.

Bucky’s face was drowning in confusion and frustration. He knew why I was so pissed and wanted to run, but he didn’t understand the words I let fall from my lips so freely.

“No! That not what I came to say-”

“What! More insults! Fine, then… bring it on. I’m dead inside already, you’re just trying to kill a corpse now, Barnes.”

Bucky felt devastated, did I really think that low of him? He sure made it easy to make it so I did, but he always believed I held onto a bit of light for him.

Apparently not.

“You think I came to insult you-”

“Why else would you speak to me!”

“Let me fucking finish a goddamn sentence and you’ll find out! Fuck! Why does everything turn into a fight with you!”

“Because you make it one, Bucky! I can never satisfy you in the gym. You never even glance at me anytime we pass each other. I don’t even remember a thank you after I saved you from that sniper you missed!”

“I didn’t miss him! I knew he was there, I was gonna knock his ass out!” I bellowed a fake laugh at Bucky’s attempt to gain himself some sort of manliness just because I let him live…men.

“Were you going to knock him on his ass before or after he released the trigger you wouldn’t even hear, letting a bullet hit you right in the pulmonary artery. I like to call that shot instant death… so when would it be, James!”

“Don’t talk to me like that and use my name as if we’re friends.”

Bucky sneered down at me. I had nothing left to lose. So, why not take a few verbal swings at the man who dashed my dreams of helping the world just one more time?

“What are you gonna do? Kill me? Hit me? Take me to Fury? Go ahead, do all three, I have nothing left, Bucky! In 24 hours I’m going to be homeless and you’ll be here, sleeping in night terrors that we all fuckin’ hear at night. So go ahead and hurt me. Hurt me like you did not even an hour ago in front of my used-to-be family…” I had tears running down my cheeks that were just two ripe tomatoes. I was breathless from my rant, making my chest rising up and down.

“I just wanted to fucking tell you that I’m sorry! I was a dick in there and I’ve been one since I met you. I wanted to clean our slate because you are an amazing fighter. One of the damn best, counting Romanoff and Barton. Look,”

Bucky absentmindedly tucked a tuft of hair that had fallen from my loosened braid, behind my ear. Leave his hand lingering near my cheek, wiping my tears away. This was no Bucky that I’d ever known, this was a new one, one that I thought I was going to meet two years ago, but I was met with passive aggressive Bucky. This… this was James Buchanan Barnes. Not Bucky, Barnes, Winter Soldier… just James B. Barnes.

“Then why tell me to leave? Why kick my ass in front of everyone, telling them I should leave?”

“Because! I- I was trying to save face… but like always, I went too far.”

“Wait, what?”

There was a pregnant pause before I heard a mutter come from Buck, “Punk read my diary…”

I couldn’t help the giggle that released from my tense chest, letting the steam that lingered in there, die down. I had no tears threatening to fall, and I had no shake in my voice. I felt… safe? No… I think I felt comfort, with Bucky right now. That was a first.

Bucky’s shoulders fell with no more tension tightening them. His face brightened, illuminating his usually flat, creamy, pale skin.

”I’m so sorry I hurt you. Verbally and physically… that the last thing I’d ever want to do to you… all I want is to protect you, give you a happy life. I don’t know where my head has been these last two years but seeing you walk out those doors… made me finally accept that I can’t be without you. You’re a chatterbox, an amazing midnight sandwich chef, a terrible dancer, a loving, kind person…”

Our bodies we’re moving closer to each word Bucky spoke, his metal hand now slithered it’s way to the small of my back, bringing me finally nose to nose with the man who kicked my ass an hour ago. Now confessing his feelings for me…

Bucky Barnes was not one to be subtle, I guess.

“What are you asking me, James?” I was dipping my foot into the pool again, testing my waters with him. This time, though, when I said his real name, a broad smile appeared, and the hold on me just got tighter, and stronger with a sense of desire awaiting in his grasp.

“I’m asking you, to forgive my horrible, facade, and accept me telling you that I’m crazy about you doll…” I let out a breathless laugh, almost astounded to hear such words come from his lips.

“What can I do to make it up to you? I’ll do anything, Even if it’s going to China and back for a chocolate bar… what can I give you? Do for you?” A smile on my face brought a laugh, I brought my hand to cup his worried face, stroking it to calm the pounding in his heart. “Just… kiss me where it hurts,” 

Bucky’s tentative eyes almost frantically started looking me up and down, trying to find a spot of pain. “Where does it hurt, doll?” 

“Right here…” I whispered. With a dip of my head and nudge of my nose on his cheek, I kissed him. Feeling no longer like I was being held in his embrace, I was now, just floating in thin air. His arm didn’t weigh me down it lifted me up. His lips didn’t hurt my heart, they made it pump in a thrilling manner. His eyes didn’t frantically search the room around us whenever they made a connection with mine, now they just stayed staring at me. Never leaving my big and bright, loving eyes that looked into his with desire.

I no longer felt lost, like I had no family. Like I was on my own. With Bucky, now, I had a home. And that home traveled with me when I left those blue eyes. My home only felt more secure when I was finally laying in these arms, talking about my day, the things that happened. The good and the bad.

I guess I had been looking for a home for so long I’d forgotten what home felt like…

My home was never a place, but a feeling. One that only your soulmate could ever give you. I’ve realized, now, that your soulmate can be that one person you’d thought hated with a passion.

I guess soulmates have a good way of hiding behind smoke and mirrors until the time is right, though.


a/n: Let me know your thoughts! I hope this one is a bit different then the normal asshole bucky suddenly becomes sweet!Bucky. I always love hearing from you guys! Never be afraid to hit me up!! 

Here’s what’s up next: Last part to @giftofdreams and I’s collaboration three part: A Hidden Hero: 1 & 2 

my last imagine: Keep Holding On

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Okay so I had another genosai dream last night that I meant to post earlier,

Saitama was going through trouble with his depression and it started effecting his memory and mood, he would just space out more and he’d go through periods where hours passed faster then they seem they should, even during battles and it really worried Genos. So he left home and kinda set out on this journey of “personal self discovery” leaving Genos behind, cause he just felt like it was something he needed to do alone. 

I can’t really remember most of the stuff that happened during that period, but at some point when Genos is on a mission from the HA fighting a sea monster when Saitama shows up and takes out the monster.

And it’s been like months since Genos last saw Saitama. They go back home, Saitama just sits on the floor soaking wet from the battle still. Genos says, “Sensei you should really dry off, you’ll catch a cold”. And Saitama says something like, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine”. Genos doesn’t say anything else but gets a towel and just places it on Sai, covering his head and shoulders, and places his hand on Sai’s right shoulder (at this point I was seeing and feeling from Sai’s perspective and things felt so REAL, and I could kinda hear his thoughts). 

And Saitama just said under his breath “Your hand is really warm” and it was true his hand was really warm (I COULD FEEL HIS HAND) Sai’s heart was beating really fast and he was thinking that shouldn’t be right, I mean the guy is made of metal…

And Genos just leaned over and kissed Sai then I woke up.

Let's talk about Lucas

I’ve been away  from Tumblr for many months now. On my return I’ve discovered a disturbing trend relating to Lucas Baker from Resident Evil 7.

Let me preface my thoughts by pointing out that I’m a 43 year old woman, happily married with 4 children, ranging in age from 14 to 18.

It may not be relevant  to mention this but I feel some context is essential.

There are people out there loving on a psychopathic fictional character.

I am one of those people. Sorry.

“Why?” I hear you ask? “Why are you attracted to an evil, unattractive - to many - fictional character?!”

Meh. It’s complicated.

The main point, I feel, is that he’s FICTIONAL. I’m not some lonely woman writing to serial killers on death row because they’re misunderstood  babies who just need the love of a good woman - those are real men who have done terrible things to real people to satisfy some godawful urge they felt. They did unforgivable things to make themselves feel better.

Lucas Baker is just a face - the lovely Baptiste Parisi - a voice - Jesse Pimental - and a collection of pixels. He is not a real person. Therefore, he can be whatever we want him to be.

Evil? Psycho? Murderer?

Nope. He just never met ME. Things would have been different if he’d known me. My cuddliness would have been his redemption.

Hey, he’s fictional. Who the fuck knows his backstory? Who cares? He’s ours. He can be who we want. He’s my fuckdoll, my grateful sex slave, my perverted master, my lonely loser. Whatever.

I’ve  a long history  of obsessions with fictional bad guys. Show me a photo of Tom Hardy and I’m indifferent. Show me a pic of Darth Vader, Jason Voorhees or Freddy Kreuger and I’ll  have them doing my dishes in a frilly apron in my head before the picture has left my line of vision.

You’re fictional? Yeah, you’re mine, bitch. You’re whatever I want. Lucas, come and cuddle. You’ve been waiting for some love, and I’m just the woman to give it to you……💜💜

A couple things about the janebery situation

Sorry if this is being petty, but I just need to say a few things regarding this entire situation.

We’ve received a couple messages in regards to janebery about how well she trades. I just want to point out that if you’re messaging us from a blog that’s only a couple days old, are only following ACNLTrades, and have one post (that’s the scam post about janebery), we’re going to be on the safe side and assume that you’re not a reliable source.

We have a confession from janebery saying she scammed users knowingly because she felt they weren’t being fair and that they deserved to be scammed. That’s immature and not okay. Several users have made the point that if you feel someone is being rude, isn’t trading fairly, or you don’t like what they’re offering, then don’t trade with them. It’s incredibly immature and childish to hurt your reputation because you don’t feel like someone is being nice to you. It’s incredibly childish and kinda pathetic. Janebery is blocked from using ACNLTrades, and will be as long as I’m an owner on the blog. If janebery sees this and has a problem, message me on my private blog (beautifully-ebullient) or email me at haley.acnltrades@gmail.com

But I’m not letting someone who knowingly steals and takes advantage of people who are so kind and willing to trade with you at all. It’s a choice to trade with anyone.

-Haley

At first, Harry wasn’t really sure he would be able to slide in and out; Malfoy felt like a vice around him. He started small, just tiny little shifts of his hips, really. Even that was causing the most intense sensations he’d ever felt during sex.

It was not, apparently, Malfoy’s experience of the situation.

“Potter,” he hissed. “This is very lovely and sweet, and I’m sure it’s like strawberries and chicken and all that romantic shit to you, but I’m going to need you to actually start fucking me at some point.”

If there was one thing that could spur Harry into action any time, it was the snotty, condescending tone that Malfoy could adopt on cue.
—  Party of Two by fireflavored

anonymous asked:

I wonder if Alex planned dying. Like he EXPECTED it to go that way? I can't help but feel like it's not what he WANTED per say, but that he felt no need to prevent it either? From my point of view he just seemed really tired and used by everything. Or like, he would do much more if given the opportunity, but he had at least done enough already that if death came his way he wouldn't run from it? Idk from what I saw he just seemed content with that end, but then again dat's jus ma dum' ol' opinion

I heard this from drunk history I think he wrote that letter which prepare two ways out for him?? So he aforementioned that he won’t be shooting burr so no matter what he’s at an advantageous position??

History side that knows this stuff please reply

2

03.22.17

Leah and I went into the city and battled 50 mph winds, ate vegan chicken wraps, laughed over death by water, almost fell asleep on the train (twice), and found this sweet sweet mauve wall.

This past week has been the most intense and emotional I’ve had in a year, but it was so necessary for these feelings to be drudged up, felt, and properly put back away in order to move forward. I still feel very much in that process of this and definitely need a few days to turn the world off and figure out where I move forward from this point, but it’s all just beginning, and that is so beautiful. 

forward and on, my loves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@peaceloveandsandwiches

I’ve noticed that the fandom really often forgets about how smart Yamaguchi is. Like he’s not just in the college prep class with Tsukki for show. He helped tutor Kageyama and Hinata when Tsukki refused (I mean so did Yachi and I love her but it wasn’t all her). I feel like as a whole we just forget about his brains and instead focus on his puppy-like loyalty, adorableness, and eventually his badassery as we saw him coming out of his shell at training camp and then at spring interhigh.

Petition for more fics and headcanons and Art and whatnot about Yamaguchi Tadashi’s smart little brain.

3

“You guys can’t just come into my house without permission” you said as the two men went about searching your home.

“Cut the crap kid” the shorter one said “we know you know about the ghost who lives here”.

You gulped “I ah… I don’t know”.

“His names Tate right”.

Shit. No point in lying now.
“Yeah. He’s my friend”.

“No he’s not I promise you. He’s dangerous and needs to be taken care of”.

You felt yourself stiffen up.
“No. You’re not going to hurt him. Now get out. Get out now before I call the cops”.

anonymous asked:

I'm so angry at A&E

They need to have suspense and drama to engage viewers, at least it’s not just Outlaw Queen, but they can bounce back (I know I’m a damn pollyanna) 

if Captain Swan can bounce back from Hook killing Charmings dad, this  OQ scenario can be saved too… i mean sure they kissed and she felt nothing but like Snow was so quick to point out they don’t know each other…. at all. 

i think Regina expected magic, but love (in our world) comes with actually building a relationship. I’m not going to throw in the towel because Regina was not attracted to a virtual stranger because she expected him to be her Robin. This is kind of a hard lesson. They are so much alike, if she can stop seeing him as Robin Hood they can make some progress, but DAMN…. He is EXACTLY who she needs. He will not woobify her. 

markoantonio97 replied to your post*Slides into inbox* Sonic Underground?

Actually Sonic Underground is worse that the other two. Because it weidly tries to mix SatAM’s setting with AoStH comedy and just… doest work. and i know the fandom seems to like Sonic’s siblings for some reason but they are about as annoying as wstern sonic, and their designs are terrible. actually the designs of everyone in this show are terrible. like a weird mix of the arstyle of satam and adventures of sonic. also this one had the lowest animation quality of the DiC cartoons. its infamous for it. 

I’m not sure why you felt the need to point out both the animation and design quality of Underground as I already pointed out both of those and outright stated that they are both the huge reason I consider Underground to not be good. I also admitted that Underground trying to mix SatAM’s setting with AoStH’s humor could’ve been handled better, I’m just willing to appreciate the attempt to compromise the two tones rather than purely grimdark or purely lighthearted, neither of which fitting the franchise one bit. 

In regards to Underground being worse than SatAM/AoStH and Manic and Sonia being “awful” characters, those entirely subjective (i.e. opinions) and not the opinion I share. Sure, maybe Underground is objectively worse than SatAM and AoStH for a variety of reasons. But personally, I absolutely despise SatAM, finding it to be a highly overrated show and I struggle to learn WHY it’s loved so dearly despite having so many faults. And AoStH simply doesn’t appeal to me at all, with the only things I like being the memes born from it. Meanwhile with Underground, while having elements I don’t like (the prophecy shindig and focus on music), it also has elements I DO like and can appreciate. Honestly though, I consider all three of these cartoons to not be good, I’m just lenient with Underground since it gets enough hate while SatAM is worshiped as the best thing to ever exist by the majority of people and AoStH, while not initially being liked, has developed a devoted fanbase and got appreciation from the Sonic fandom at large. As for Sonia and Manic, while they may follow Western Sonic’s fugly design, at the very least they follow the actual design for Sonic characters rather than being “standard anthros” like the SatAM cast and being much easier to look at than the rest of the Underground characters. Their respective designs could’ve been better, a LOT better, but I don’t find them to be the worse thing ever. And I also like their respective characters (well, Sonia less so, but I don’t find her irredeemably awful). Again, they could be better, but I can appreciate them. Really, only thing I don’t like is Sonia’s voice acting 

I’d just like to point out that Mac’s first idea for a gift for Charlie’s birthday was a new rat bashing stick and the gang dismissed it. But guess which gift actually made Charlie tear up from overwhelming gratitude? That’s right, the stick. Mac may not know when his best friend’s birthday is but he knows what makes him happy.

4

Meanwhile, if this entire document is a big, steaming pile of horseshit, the reality is almost more horrifying.

It alleges that the Trump campaign promised to basically throw Ukraine, and our commitments to protect Eastern Europe from Russia, under the bus in exchange for John Podesta’s sweet, sweet emails.

Trump, um, did everything outlined in that paragraph. Every bit of it. This isn’t evidence in favor of the document being real – Trump questioned the need for NATO back in March – but it does mean that, if the document’s fake, screwing over our allies and siding with Putin is just Trump’s natural preference. That’s way scarier than a sinister conspiracy theory.

Also scary? People are using the fact that the president and president-elect were both briefed on this document as evidence that it’s legitimate. As this Washington Post article points out, the CIA felt the need to include this in the presidential briefings because everyone was talking about it. Which means you can elevate a bullshit story to the president’s official ear if you spread it around enough.

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Holy shit, you guys, we have so many good pee jokes to make.

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