just experimenting here really

I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you
- Florence + The Machine, Cosmic Love


For #LadiesofHannibal appreciation week, I really wanted to do a murder wives thingy to match my murder husbands from a while back. The idea is that they see in each other what they both already have <3

4

 HOW TO “GENERATE” MOTIVATION & INSPIRATION. 

     I’ve seen SO many of my friends struggle with motivation these days, so I wanted to make a little psa about how to attempt to get motivation back ( this also helps fight depression yo ) — It’s all about POSITIVE VIBES. Positivity attracts positivity. Motivation is driven by the WANT to do something, and that doesn’t ( usually ) come on its own, but needs a kick-starter ( this is where inspiration comes into play ). Inspiration is easily triggered by positivity, and everyone has positivity stored in them ( it is a human thing after all ), so what’s needed is to extract it. This part is where people say that their depression prevents them, and a big reason for that is because they are waiting for the positivity to come to them, but relying on something to come to YOU is not as good as generating it YOURSELF. So, can positivity be generated when you feel down? By: DOING YOUR BEST. This is a cliche saying, but it actually works. Do one more thing than you did yesterday. For some, this is a slow process. Doing one more draft, answering one more ask - but the thing is, the more you do, the better you will feel about yourself. And, there it is: you have made a positiv feeling/vibe/emotion. By feeling good about yourself, and sending out this ‘ positive vibe ‘, you are attracting inspiration, which will turn into motivation. Then, it’ll be easier to do more things, which, again, will give you an even better feeling - more motivation - more productivity - more positive vibes! When you hit a certain point, you will have “excess” positivity, which you can give to the people around you! So now you’re not only making positiv energy, but you’re also distributing it to your social circle, which will make good things happen to you. You’ll feel better about yourself, your work, and the people in your life ( and they will feel better about you ). And all of this JUST because you decided that you wanted to do a little more than usual. People who say that “this won’t work for me”, are ruining for themselves, because that means that instead of generating positivity, you are making negativity, which brings NOTHING good. Don’t say: “this won’t work for me”, don’t say “this might work for me”. Say: “THIS WORKS FOR ME”, because — Well, it does.

     Small personal note about my own experience with this ‘ method ‘ of generating motivation ( feel free to ignore this) ; People tell me that I can’t understand what it’s like to be depressed and that it’s impossible to just “do” things when you’re feeling down, but, trust me, I DO know what that’s like. I suffer from a rare medical condition that causes me a lot of pain, which I have been very depressed about ( still feel down sometimes about it ), but I can STILL use the method described above to make motivation! So, I have no doubt that it will work for you too! 

hi guys! i’m back with my 3rd appreciation post. i haven’t made one since september last year, so it’s been a while! i recently hit my goal of 11k followers, and i have no idea why any of you want to follow my extreme baekhyun loving, extra and dramatique ass. i may not be following all of you back, but i absolutely appreciate every single one of you! thank you so much for following me and making my tumblr experience a bit more exciting! if you ever want to talk about exo, baekhyun or basically anything; hmu! even if we aren’t mutuals, i love talking and getting to know new people! ☆

also a big shoutout to the @byunbaek-net​​ members and those of you that are following my sideblogs; @fluffybbh​​, @chenbaekxie​​, @rvluvs​​ & @johnnseo​​ ✌


Keep reading

current cause of death

harry looks so natural and comfortable holding babies/children???? ask me if im okay (im not)

anonymous asked:

So I am super in awe of your ability to write so much, let alone so well. Do you have any tips for getting into a writing habit? / How do you keep yourself accountable for updating and the like?

Hmmm

In the past I’ve generally said it’s not a good idea to learn how to write as much as I write, because being this prolific is usually a sign that something else isn’t going so great in your life BUT ACTUALLY I do have some tips lol.

Feel free to ignore them. These will not apply to everyone, and you are not doing anything wrong if you’re not already doing them or just plain don’t like them. <3 Being a great writer has never been predicated on writing every day, and that’s the plain and simple truth.

But here’s how I do it:

* I have a monthly wordcount. It used to be daily, but this didn’t work because I have chronic illnesses that sometimes make it impossible for me to write several days in a row. My monthly wordcount is 25,000 words per month. Last year, and for the years previous, it was 50,000 words a month. Yes, I did a NaNoWriMo every month for three years. Do I recommend this to others? No.

* I don’t add up my words per day, I add them up per chapter. That’s satisfying for me. But it also makes me feel accountable re: my writing in that, I can’t make 25,000 words if I work on like….fifteen different chapters and don’t finish any. So I have to finish chapters. That’s the rule.

* Plot out my stories or my big stories for the year. I like to know where my output is going. I know I want to be putting a certain amount of words into four different projects. There’s room for movement. But I stay accountable because I know what I’m meant to be working on.

* Er, guilt. Never underestimate the power of guilt when you think ‘shit I haven’t posted a chapter in a while :/ :/ :/‘ this is apparently something that makes me write things. It’s not healthy, lol. I mean it’s not terrible? I care about the people who read my stories and I want them to enjoy what I’m doing, and that’s like…pretty normal if you’re creatively minded and want to share that kind of stuff with people. But guilt can be pretty crushing, I don’t recommend it.

* I’m meant to take five days off for every 25k I write. I play hooky with this all the time, especially if I feel guilty about not posting enough (I am currently resisting taking a break right now lol). But anyway, scheduling breaks is important. I have other things I love! I want to do those things too.

As for tips re: how to get into a writing habit. My advice for that is actually different to what I do now. Writing is like…flexing a mental muscle. I might be at a level where I’m powerhousing in the gym every day, I’m not going to tell everyone else to do the writing equivalent of two hundred sit ups if they can only manage three.

So here’s some advice on how to get into a writing habit:

* 100 words a day, over 100 days. Or 50 words a day, over 50 days. This is great. This is great for writers who have forgotten to write, this is great for newbie writers, it’s great for people who want to write and don’t know how.

Here’s the thing, you write 50 words a day for 50 days, you have a nice little hashtag/goalpost if you want them. It’s doable for most people. Also if you’re having a good day, chances are you’ll write a lot more than 50 words. You can alter this if you’re disabled or have different needs. Maybe it’s just 50 words a day on weekdays, or 100 words a day on weekends. Or 50 words a day when you have spoons.

That’s about flexing your writing muscles when they are little and need some stretching. You learn how to do the push ups before you do even one, let alone a hundred, and exercises like this are great, even if you totally abandon them later on, because you can trust in your output.

* Like to get in the deep end? NaNoWriMo. Supportive communities, accountability in general, and a sense that you’re not alone and everyone is struggling like you are, lol. Except for that one person who is done in three days. Ignore them.

* Consider writing some stuff that you can finish. A lot of people want to write a novel, but it will be fun to write some poetry, short stories, drabbles, novellas etc. that you can finish faster, and get a sense of accomplishment for. Writing can be very lonely, and it can lack validation, so it helps to build in a sense of achievement and accomplishment. Some writers do it through wordcount, but honestly, finishing things is pretty amazing. Even if you don’t like it, if you finished it, that’s awesome.

* Look up some writing blogs and websites. Get overwhelmed. Feel like you’re doing everything wrong. Then take a deep breath and sigh out every shitty thing you read and remember the two or three things you were really excited about trying. Try them. Ignore everything else.

* Consider prompt communities. They can be amazeballs. 

* If you’re someone who likes accountability, and are in fandoms big enough for this, consider signing up to Big Bangs and Exchanges. These can be very stressful for people so obviously YMMV (I don’t do these myself), but what they provide is a sense of community (this is important) and they provide deadlines. Doesn’t mean everyone always sticks to them, but it can be quite motivational. Especially if there are Tumblrs / DW sites etc. associated with the Exchange where you can see others struggling as well.

* Take breaks. And don’t just take breaks when you’re burnt out (I learned this the hard way). Take them when you’re inspired. This last bit is something I have always struggled with. I have always grown up believing that if you feel motivated and inspired to write, then goddamn it, you should write!!! But over the years I’ve come to realise that sometimes you should let that energy stir excitedly inside of you and not write. And that will be when you rejuvenate yourself, and come up with new ideas.

* Try writing when you don’t particularly feel like it, but have the time. Sit there and say to yourself: ‘I’m going to try to do this, just one or two sentences, and if inspiration visits me, then cool, and if it doesn’t, then cool.’ This strengthens the writing muscle of cultivating inspiration by doing the work. No one generally likes strengthening this muscle, because it requires the most self-discipline. It’s the one that will pay off the most in the future. At least you’ll get a couple of sentences out of it. But if you really want to write more, sometimes you have to sort of…do that part of the exercise that is less fun but means you’ll have more capacity to create inspiration in yourself in the future. <3

* Ignore any writing advice that pulls you down or makes you feel like ‘I can’t do that, it’s too exhausting/draining/no one can do that.’ Including anything here. As with going to the gym, anything that taxes you too much straight away is not good for you or healthy. Start in a way that works for you, and be prepared to stretch yourself, but again, in a way that works for you. If you find yourself going gung ho into writing exercises and then losing all motivation for months afterwards, chances are, you went too hard, too fast. You did the equivalent of ‘going to the gym every night for a week after never having gone before, and then finding the experience so offputting you hate the gym.’

And if you go too gung ho into things and stop for months, give yourself permission to just start again, instead of telling yourself you’re a bad or lazy writer. I promise you, that you are neither of those things. (I don’t mean you specifically OP, I mean anyone reading this). Learning how to write is like…it’s hard to do, and we each have a unique formula for ourselves that takes time to work out. It’s only natural that we will find ways that don’t work for us more often than we find ways that do. Give yourself permission to give up on things, abandon exercises and stories, because as soon as you clear away that space, you’ll have more energy to try things in the future. <3

I can’t stop thinking about ‘it’s quite surreal’, and 'amazing, yeah. This is incredible, isn’t it?’ Because that’s how Sam and Anthony were last year. And they lost it so fast because people are awful.

With Theo and Samuel we have two young men, at the start of their career, and I just think that as a fandom we should be respectful of them and not invasive or over-excitable or rude or any of the other countless things we could do to them.

They’re human beings, doing a job that should probably be the most amazing, fun job in the world. And it looks like they’re going to be spectacular at it. But can we remember that they are just that? Human beings doing a job. They’re not toys. They’re not play things. They’re not characters. They’re not for us to speculate over or ship. They’re people with lives and families and friendships.

So can we please be kind to them and show them we care about them and value them, and not drive them away and make them jaded? Let them have this amazing experience without us ruining it for them.

They’re so young. And they deserve to enjoy themselves and keep the wonder we saw in the video today. Is that so much to ask? Can people please be nice?

I didn’t see this process play out from the beginning last time, but I know it’s coming this time and it’s horrible. It’s beginning already, and I hate everything about it.

jon and sansa: losing part of themselves

What i find fascinating about Jon and Sansa (in a non romantic end game type of way) is how both lost part of themselves, of their soul in a simmetrical sort of way. 

Sansa loses a part of her self, her north indentity when Lady is killed, While Jon is murdered but survives (hypotetically) thanks to Ghost, his direwolf which is the northen part of him. 

Not only both live on without something crucial about their identity (Jon literally died, sansa methaporically) but the situation in which these traumatic events happen are SO similiar. 

Lady (part of Sansa identity) is killed by the lannisters who she admires and trusts. People that Sansa refused to see how horrible they were. She was blindsided even if she was told (by arya, or the trident episode). 

 “They won’t let you bring Lady either.” She was gone before Sansa could think of a reply, chasing Nymeria along the river.

Bran felt all cold inside. “She lost her wolf,” he said, weakly, remembering the day when four of his father’s guardsmen had returned from the south with Lady’s bones. Summer and Grey Wind and Shaggydog had begun to howl before they crossed the drawbridge, in voices drawn and desolate. Beneath the shadow of the First Keep was an ancient lichyard, its headstones spotted with pale lichen, where the old Kings of Winter had laid their faithful servants. It was there they buried Lady, while her brothers stalked between the graves like restless shadows. She had gone south, and only her bones had returned.

Jon is the same. Melissandre tells Jon to keep Ghost by his side, to not trust the brothers of the nights watch. Still he doesnt listen to her, and in the end gets himself killed for it. 

“Do not be so certain.” The ruby at Melisandre’s throat gleamed red. “It is not the foes who curse you to your face that you must fear, but those who smile when you are looking and sharpen their knives when you turn your back. You would do well to keep your wolf close beside you. Ice, I see, and daggers in the dark. Blood frozen red and hard, and naked steel. It was very cold.”

Both the lannisters and the nightwatch rappresented for Jon and Sansa a (poor) substitute of their family, Sansa wanted to marry joffrey (and she was the possible future Queen)  but the lannisters killed part of her (lady), Jon wanted to become a honorable member of the nightwatch (he was lord commander) but they stabbed him in the back. 

The interesting parallel is that both didnt see how their actions, how not facing the harsh truth would put them in danger. And both lost part of themselves for it. (they even complete one another: Sansa is alive but her wolf is dead, Jon was killed, but his wolf saved his soul). Sansa is a stark without her wolf, Jon is a targ with a wolf. Sansa is alive but lady (part of her soul)  died at the trident, Jon is dead but part of him survives thanks to ghost.

5

Luis Miranda, Jr., father of “Hamilton” creator, Lin-Manuel Miranda, on immigration in PBS’ “Hamilton’s America”

sometimes it just really hits me that there are no fandom accessibility options for me.

due to my specific triggers, i can’t go into the tags. i can’t read fic without it being checked for me specifically because nobody tags for the things that upset me. I can’t use rec blogs. I can’t watch videos. I even have to be careful who I follow.

but because my brain won’t let go of cas as my special interest, I’m fucking stuck.

(and i’ve tried. oh how i’ve tried)

and that’s not even the worst.

the worst is knowing that 90% of the fic I can’t read is just one sentence away from being safe. one sentence that doesn’t affect the rest of the fic, that doesn’t change or add much of anything, really, a sentence that makes no real difference to anyone else, one nobody else would even notice the lack of if it was gone… but it’s inclusion means I can’t read the fic.

it’s not malicious. i know it’s not. but that’s a different kind of hurt, to know that you’re so damn invisible that people going out of their way to say ‘no, not here’ isn’t a malicious act. it’s to make the story ‘plausible’. it’s because the author can’t even conceive of anything different.

and it’s not like there are different factions where there are options. it’s not about ace this or allo that or what you ship. it’s the one thing that everyone just seems to agree on, no matter what you ship or what you think.

He rephrased his question, “can you promise me that I’m not an experiment to you? That you’re not just here to see if you’re really gay, that you don’t want to sleep with me to see whether you like it or not? Are you certain this is what you want?”

It was in fact more than one question, but they were all tied together. Even was scared to be loved for reasons he didn’t want to share, but he was also scared that Isak was playing him. Or maybe not scared, but unsure to say the least. If he hadn’t been worried about it, it wouldn’t have been his first question. But it was, and Isak knew he had to make sure those thoughts would disappear from Even’s mind completely.

“I am absolutely certain,” Isak answered, keeping his voice level. He wanted to reach out and touch Even’s knee, but he was afraid that would take away some of the power from his words, “I know that when we met, I told you about how I wasn’t out yet. But do you remember how you told me that I must not have kissed any guys yet then, because if I had then I would have known? Well, I know now. I know that I was just suppressing my feelings, because I wanted to be considered ‘normal’, but I am normal, no matter who I like. And I like boys. I like you.”

Teaser chapter 11 (full)

Cleansing My Soul

05.06.17

i’ve been wondering for ages how medusa deals with her trauma and i’ve had to come to the conclusion that she doesn’t, really 

all that kept her going for so long was avenging herself, getting stronger, and that took a long time but once it was done – what was left to do? like a house when you get rid of the ghost, something dead still stays 

i think she doesn’t talk about it much. i think she’s hesitant to tell people because she knows what her trauma did to her sisters and thinks that it’s selfish to lean on someone she perceives as smaller than her. her focus is always on her friend/partner/sister’s wellbeing and not on her own, so she isn’t good at bringing it up or talking about it when it’s bad. and it does get bad, still, sometimes, some days worse than others

(her reaction on bad days is usually to spar with someone; if she has to focus on movement and fighting, she can’t think about him. she’ll do this until she’s so tired she falls asleep after.) 

and, honestly? if someone who knew her well noticed something was wrong and asked something like “are you alright?” she’d probably start crying, if she trusts them

anonymous asked:

Ok so there's a guy on tumblr I fell in love with his words and we talk and stuff and his tumblr avi was cute too then I found him on Instagram and he's moderate looking, average tbh, not really as I expected him to be. So right now I'm confused, am I being judgemental only for his looks? But I also know he's an amazing person and his words are ❤️ he has a way with words, he's really well informed and smart too. So my question is, am I falling out of love or am I still in love?

Sis can I be real with you for a second? Pretend im your Tumblr Older Sister okay. Every man has a way with words. Especially the guys on this website lol. It is sooo easy to type up a few artsy spilled ink text posts and make yourself look like a feminist who respects all women and saves puppies and babies in your spare time. However, the reality is, most guys on here ain’t shit. this isn’t even a personal attack on anyone, it really is just 5 years of experience on here. Men are skilled at saying what you want to hear. I’m not saying he can’t be as cool as you think he is. But don’t base that off his tumblr words. And no offense but that certainly isn’t love. You never loved him to begin with, you love the idea of him. Don’t make any rushed decisions until you meet this man in person and can get a feel for the vibe. VIBES DON’T LIE!! Catfishes are too real, and you don’t want to look dumb. Chill out with that love stuff it’s not that deep. Just my personal thoughts on the situation

officerparker  asked:

I'm really bothered by the same thing tbh. Jon is not the kind of person to go looking for sex. I was even hoping he'd go to her cabin for something and she was the one who kissed him and initiated things. I'm not THAT bothered by it all because in the books it'll be done differently (hopefully better), so I'm here just for the cinematic experience, really. But I wish there was a scene or something before that'd lead to that.

I have no problem with Jon initiating sex, I have a problem with such average scenes to support why he’s going for it. I think what they should’ve done was had Dany initiate it being that she’s been more sexually active than he is and because she’s showed more attraction to him. The last time Jon had sex was with Ygritte, so I just want a damning scene beforehand that makes me say “Oh yeah, he’s DEFINITELY fucking her after this.”

Love Jonerys, but I don’t want a sex scene for the fuck of it. I want more motive behind it.