just doin our thing you know


    if you play ANY sort of villainous character - from a pick-pocket to a full-scale serial killer - and i follow you, please know that i’ve come into this FULL WELL what i’m signing up for. i don’t expect you to soften your character for me, i’m not going to complain when they aren’t nice to my characters, and i honestly probably love watching them do what they do. not all characters are going to be the “good guys”, or the type of villain that can be redeemed. not everyone has a tragic backstory that makes them do the things they do - some people enjoy it, others just do it because they can, and for some it’s all they know. yes, there are villains with a soft spot or two - this doesn’t mean they need to change everything. our characters become friends/lovers even though my character is a “good guy”? you keep doin’ you. keep stealing those purses, killing those people, burning those villages to the ground. 

        tl;dr - I DIDN’T FOLLOW YOU BECAUSE I WANTED SOMETHING SOFT AND EASY - you keep bein’ a villain, babe, cause you’re  just as excellent as the heroes.


Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

A/N: i honestly don’t know if i like this or not but like……..fwb peter

Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

Originally posted by peterbparkerr

Keep reading

phineas and ferb episode


PHINEAS: ferb, what do you want to do today?
FERB: [blinks]
PHINEAS: hmm… you’re right ferb. since there’s no true ‘self’, whatever ‘we’ want to do today is just playing into the social dogma of what can or can’t be done. 
FERB: [thumbs up]


ISABELLA: whatcha doin?
PHINEAS: rejecting the social dogma!
ISABELLA: cool. can i help?
PHINEAS: sure. but i think asking kinda defeats the purpose. i think you just do it.
FERB: [nods]

ISABELLA opens her mouth to speak but is interrupted as BUFORD and BALJEET enter the scene

BALJEET: whatcha doin?
BALJEET: oh, sorry isabella. i did not see you there. 
BALJEET: so. what are you guys doing?
PHINEAS: we don’t know yet. we’re trying to get a little bit nebulous with it today
BUFORD: explain.
PHINEAS: well, is anything we do really our own decision? what’s autonomy like in modern society? we’re trying to get out of that bind. 
BUFORD: sounds to me like you’re just playin into the whole thing, dinnerbell.
BUFORD: you really want to break down social constructs? try something like this.

BUFORD pulls back his arm and delivers a strong punch to the TREE. it rattles and a single leaf floats gracefully down, landing on the tip of phineas’s nose

SYNCHRONIZED, the other children OOH and AHH in reaction

Dabi working at McDonald’s headcanons 

  • hates this uniform and hates this job
  • the first thing he said when he walked through the door on his first day was “where’s the clown”
  • says “oooops” everytime he drops the meat
  • “my bad” he says as he picks it from the floor and puts it back in the hamburger
  • when people try to pay with too many coins he says “I don’t know math so you’re gonna have to count all that on your own”
  • they change their mind every single time
  • walks to his coworkers who were already working there before him and tells them “from what animal does this meat come from. you can trust me I’ve probably eaten worse things”
  • yells a soft and steady “aaaaaaah” through the mic when he gets bored 
  • “our french fries are not even french”
  • when someone asks for an ice cream he makes sure to heat it enough that it’ll melt the moment they try to eat it
  • “it wasn’t melting when I gave it to you also don’t know what refund means good luck next time”
  • when he has to go make sure that kids aren’t going crazy in the playpen he just casually sneaks in like
  • “how you doin’ here you gremlins”
  • “how old are you? five? when I was your age I was already six”
  • when someone says that they want to speak to the manager he just says “the manager is dead”
  • if they insist he actually calls the manager who goes “Dabi…” the moment he sees what the situation is
  • Dabi is like “hey Bob”
  • the only reason why he doesn’t get fired is because during his job interview he said that the reason why he wanted the job was to keep his mind focused in something that wasn’t mass murder
  • “I would like a milkshake” “they fucking suck but sure why not we all have to die of something”
Harry Styles - “Living the Dream” Part Three

Part One and Part Two

This is one of my favorite series’ that I’ve written. Enjoy part three! And thank you!

Your flight had come too soon. You’d packed up your suitcase after five wonderful days in France, watching Harry film everyday and then returning to the hotel for a wonderful evening together. The two of you had ventured out once for dinner but were basically mobbed and agreed that until the heat of your new relationship died down it was probably best to keep in private in much as possible. 

“Don’ leave.” Harry muttered, pulling you back over to the bed. His call time was later in the day so he was still in nothing but his boxers but you had gotten fully dressed, ready to meet the car that was surely going to pull up any minute now and take you to the airport. 

“Harry, I have to.” You tell him but allow yourself to be tugged under the blankets and held tightly against his tattooed and warm chest. You snuggle into his soft skin, breathing in deeply, taking in his so familiar scent. Harry’s cologne and shampoo was a smell you had grown to know and love over the last five or so years and it had always felt like home but it did even more so now. 

“Jus’ a couple more days.” And as his lips found yours, you knew you were about to cancel that car and plane ticket. 

You did eventually have to leave though. You had meetings and things to get to back in Los Angeles so it was finally time to bid him goodbye. The goodbye was drug out, slow kisses, whispered I love you’s, sensual touches along the others body. 

Eventually though he carried your bags down to the lobby and loaded up the car for you before right there in full view of the fans, who still crowded the hotel’s front door everyday but were thankfully being held back by security and hotel staff well enough, he pulled you against his chest and pressed his lips to yours. The screams intensified but you ignored them and kissed him deeply. 

“Meet you in LA.” You pull back to say, giving him a smile. Harry was finishing up filming soon so the two of you wouldn’t be separated for too long. 

“Let me know when you land.” He kisses you one last time before you finally climb into the car and it heads off for the airport. 

After Harry finished up with the movie and joined you back in LA, the two of you took to spending the night together at either his house or yours almost every night. The two of you had been extremely close and attached to one another while in the band but something had changed and it was a whole new need for the other. You knew it was being in the honeymoon phase and eventually wouldn’t be as strong but for the time being you made sure he was around you as much as possible and he didn’t mind one bit. 

“I’ll miss you.” You pout over at Harry as the two of you laid in your bed together early one morning. Harry was going to catch a flight later that afternoon, his manager and a few musician friends in tow, ready to seclude themselves in none other than Jamaica and get to work on his first solo album. 

“Well, if you didn’ have to go off bein’ your own solo rockstar you could have come with us.” You had just dropped your first solo song two days earlier and were in the midst of a whirlwind of interviews and promo. It was so exciting and different, being the only face to a song now - all attention was on you. 

“I’m gonna come visit in a few weeks, just don’t know when yet.” Harry catches your lips with his for a brief kiss before he pulls back with a sigh, pulling you tightly against his chest. 

“Bit strange, isn’ it?” You give him a puzzled look so he continues. “This solo thing. All of us doin’ our own thing. Louis has Freddie, Niall released his song, you got yours out there now too, Liam is workin on his and I’m about to go write an album - by myself.” You sigh, resting your head on his chest. He tangles his fingers with yours, absentmindedly playing with your fingers. 

“We’re just all doing what’s best for us. We were amazing together but just think with all five of us out there individually spreading our creativity.. the world isn’t ready for it.” He gives a low chuckle, his chest rumbling under your ear. 

“’m just glad I got to experience all tha’ with the band with you at my side and now even though we’ll be apart fo’ a few weeks, really you’re still with me again. Couldn’ do any of this without ya, really.” You lift your head up and smile down at him. 

“Well lucky for you, you’re stuck with me and will never have to do it without me.” He grins, his dimples making an appearance as he rests a hand on your cheek. 

“Good.” His fingers slide into your hair and his lips find yours. 

The time apart from Harry was hard but you facetimed with him daily, he played you bits of songs or sang you lyrics, even asking your advice for some kinks he was working through. You visited him for a week midway through his seclusion and he said it was exactly what he needed to relax and get back into a good head writing space. “Goin’ through withdrawals, I was.” He stated when you asked why he was having trouble writing there for a bit. “From what?” As soon as you’d asked him that the smirk on his face answered that. He didn’t even have to answer as he just pulls you down onto the bed, that was answer enough. 

“What are you going to do when the two of you are off busy touring? Before a tour meant the two of you were stuck together on a tour bus every single day but now… a tour for the two of you is two separate tours…” Anne had spoken these words to her son around the same time he’d come to visit, playing her and Robin his now finished album. You hadn’t accompanied him as you’d meetings, preparing for your album release in a few days, which Harry would be back in time for, of course. “You won’t be able to see each other much.” 

“We know that, mum,” Harry of course had thought about this, and often, especially as him and his management really got down to working on his tour. You had already worked out yours, having just announced it and it looked like none of your time off or dates corresponded with the other, yet. So far it would look like months between seeing one another. “We’ll make it work, we’ve waited this long to be together, we aren’ goin’ to let not seein each other every day ruin us. We’re jus’ making the most of what time we do have at home together until she leaves.” 

Once you did leave for tour though, it was hard. Harry was lonely, waiting for promo of his own album to begin, he spent his time in meetings or at home. He just really missed your presence. Sometimes, he really hated that the both of you were in the same career path. Of course, if you weren’t you never would have met, but being musicians meant your time at home was very limited. He’d gotten used to not seeing his loved ones often but not seeing you.. even while on tour you were a constant, always there beside him. And now you weren’t. It was a strange and foreign feeling to Harry and he hated it. 

You had purposefully made a few months break between legs of tour so that you could be home for Harry’s new song release and then the following promo up until the actual album drop. And having you back in his arms every night overshadowed any happiness he was feeling for the album. 

“I think one of us should quit our jobs.” He mumbles into your neck one night. Tomorrow was the day of his album release and you had yet to hear all of it, wanting to hear it along with the rest of his fans, anxiously awaiting the coming of solo Harry. 

“What?” You answer with a laugh. You’d thought Harry had fallen asleep. His head was buried in your neck, his breathing warming your skin, his arm was draped across your hips and his body basically consumed yours, his legs tangled with yours. You didn’t mind one bit. Your fingers brushed through his still short hair, though it was a bit longer now than it was when he was filming Dunkirk. He was talking about getting a trim soon though. 

“We’re apart too much.” He sighs, lifting his head to look down at you. It was dark in your room but you could still see, and basically feel, the sadness radiating from him. “I miss you so much.” 

“Harry, I’m right here though. I know I leave for tour again soon, and you leave for promo and then more promo for Dunkirk, but we’ve been making this work, haven’t we? We still always find our way back together, and we always will.” You seal this promise with a heated kiss to his lips and all conversation ends there. You feel his sadness wash out of his body as he consumes you, replaced with pure bliss and happiness. 

You went with Harry to Radio 1 the next morning, ready to listen to his album from start to finish as he debuted it on his best friend Nick’s breakfast show. As you listen to the songs, all of them where filled with such sadness, it seemed. Being alone, being hurt. It broke your heart. You hadn’t realized how alone Harry felt, how much sadness he truly had within him. Though when Sweet Creature was next, Nick asked who it was about and Harry simply looked over at you and smiled before shrugging and saying it was up to interpretation. 

Once you heard the words, ‘don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong’, ‘wherever I go, you bring me home’, you think you knew who it was about. Harry meets you eye and the two of you smile at each other. 

“Your album is lovely, Harry.” You tell him once he was finished with the show. The two of you stood in the front lobby, waiting for your car to pull around. He smiles at you, pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Couldn’t have gotten through any of this without your support.” He presses a hard kiss to the side of your head before pulling back to smile down at you. “I really don’ know what the future holds for you and I but I know I’ll figh’ for us forever. You’re my home, my happiness, my love, and I can’ imagine my life withou’ you in it.” His words just about brought tears to your eyes and you reach up, taking his face in your hands and standing on your toes to reach your lips to his. 

“Lucky for you I’m not going anywhere,” You assure him when you pull back. “Even if we are far apart for awhile, just know you’re who I will always come back to. And the second you need me, I’ll be there - no matter what.” 

“I love you.” He presses another kiss to your lips before the car pulls up and your conversation ends as you head outside, walking past the fans waiting out front with a smile and a wave in their direction. By now everyone had gotten used to your relationship as in a two months it will have been a year since the two of you got together but they still were excited about it. Now though, the question moved from ‘when are you going to get together?’ to “when will you get married?’ Obviously that was no where near about to happen but you let the fans continue to dream anyway. 

Your life with Harry was everything you could ask for. You were happy and in love, as he was with you and really, that’s all that you needed. You were excited to see where the future did take you, what kind of life you would get to live with Harry, but for now you were perfectly content. 


❛ What are you doin’? ❜
❛ Sorry. I just thought with the Captain issue in doubt, I’d throw my name in for consideration, sorry. ❜
❛ Shoot him! ❜
❛ Cut out his tongue! ❜
❛ Shoot him and cut out his tongue, then shoot his tongue! ❜
❛ You will listen to me! ❜
❛ And what the enemy will see, they will see the flash of our cannons, and they will hear the ringing of our swords, and they will know what we can do! ❜
❛ Think you can outrun the world? ❜
❛ Sometimes things come back mate. We’re livin’ proof, you and me. ❜
❛ There’s never a guarantee of comin’ back. ❜
❛ It’s our only hope. ❜
❛ The world used to be a bigger place. ❜
❛ World’s still the same. There’s just less in it. ❜
❛ Dying is the day worth living for. ❜
❛ Will you marry me? ❜
❛ I don’t think now’s the best time! ❜
❛ I love you. I’ve made my choice. What’s yours? ❜
❛ I’m a little busy at the moment! ❜
❛ And that was without even a single drop of rum. ❜
❛ You’ve seen it all, done it all. ❜
❛ That’s the trick isn’t it? To survive? ❜
❛ It’s not just about living forever. The trick is still living with yourself forever. ❜
❛ There’s not been a gatherin’ like this in our lifetime. ❜
❛ I owe them all money. ❜
❛ It’s always belonged to you. Will you keep it safe? ❜
❛ I leave you people alone for just a minute and look what happens, everything’s gone to pot! ❜
❛ Do you take me to be your wife, in sickness and in health, with health being less likely? ❜
❛ Just kiss! ❜
❛ Did no one come to save me just because they missed me? ❜
❛ Four of you have tried to kill me in the past. ❜
❛ Four of you have tried to kill me in the past. One of you succeeded. ❜
❛ You’ll have loads to talk about while you’re here. ❜
❛ Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it at the time. ❜
❛ Don’t need you, you scare me. ❜
❛ Who are you? ❜
❛ Where does your allegiance lie? ❜
❛ I have a ship. ❜
❛ I have no sympathy for any of you feculent maggots and no more patience to pretend otherwise. ❜
❛ I wash my hands of this weirdness. ❜
❛ We are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things. ❜
❛ I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye. ❜
❛ You’re free. ❜
❛ It’s a heavy price for what’s been done. ❜
❛ Let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish. ❜
❛ We must fight. ❜
❛ Send this pestilent, traitorous, cow-hearted, yeasty codpiece to the brig. ❜
❛ I’m losing her. ❜
❛ Mate, if you choose to lock your heart away you’ll lose it for certain. ❜
❛ You may kill me, but you can never insult me. ❜
❛ That’s just maddeningly unhelpful. ❜
❛ Why are these things never clear? ❜
❛ Stab the heart. ❜
❛ Don’t stab the heart. ❜
❛ My sweet, you’ve come for me. ❜
❛ You were expecting me? ❜
❛ It has been torture, trapped in this single form, cut off from the sea. From all that I love. From you. ❜
❛ Ten years, I devoted to the duty you charged me. ❜
❛ And finally, when we could be together again, you weren’t there. Why weren’t you there? ❜
❛ Would you love me if I was anything but what I am? ❜
❛ I do not love you! ❜
❛ Many things you were, but never cruel. ❜
❛ You have corrupted your purpose, and so yourself, and you did hide away what should always have been mine! ❜
❛ I will be free, and when I am, I will give you my heart. ❜
❛ And we will be together always. ❜
❛  If only you had a heart to give. ❜
❛ I will be free, and when I am, I will give you my heart, and we will be together always… but if only you had a heart to give. ❜
❛ Why did you come? ❜
❛ The last thing they will learn in this life is how cruel I can be. ❜
❛ My heart will always belong to you. ❜
❛ Who is this traitor? ❜
❛ Keep telling yourself that, darling. ❜
❛ Do you fear death? ❜
❛ You have no idea. ❜
❛ You’ll see no mercy from me! ❜
❛ I’m a heartless wretch! ❜
❛ You’ve a cruel mind. ❜
❛ Cruel is a matter of perspective. ❜
❛ You’ve always run away from a fight! ❜
❛ You never told me any of this! ❜
❛ It was my burden to bear. ❜
❛ I miss him already. ❜
❛ He was quite charming, wasn’t he? ❜
❛ This is madness. ❜
❛ This is politics. ❜
❛ You can fight, and all of you will die… or you can not fight, in which case only most of you will die. ❜
❛ You murdered my father. ❜
❛ He chose his own fate. ❜
❛ We will fight. And you will die. ❜
❛ Your friends appear to be quite desperate. ❜
❛ You and I are no strangers to betrayal, are we? ❜
❛ Close your eyes and pretend it’s all a bad dream. That’s how I get by. ❜
❛ You may throw my hat if you wish. ❜
❛ You know my name… ❜
❛ He can’t help me. He won’t come. ❜
❛ I know you. ❜
❛ He/she spoke of you. ❜
❛ He/she won’t save me. ❜
❛ He/she won’t pick me. I wouldn’t pick me. ❜
❛ Tell him not to come. Tell him to stay away. ❜
❛ Tell him it’s too late. ❜
❛ You’re in my way, boy/girl. ❜
❛ Are you dead? ❜
❛ Are you dead? I think I am. ❜
❛ You have to be lost to find a place that can’t be found. ❜
❛ You’ve doomed us all! ❜
❛ Don’t be so unkind. ❜
❛ You may not survive to pass this way again, and these be the last friendly words you’ll hear. ❜
❛ I propose an exchange. ❜
❛ You have no right! ❜
❛ I understand the burden you bear, but I fear that cause is lost. ❜
❛ No cause is lost if there is but one fool left to fight for it. ❜
❛ You chose not to tell me. ❜
❛ You thought I loved him/her. ❜
❛ If you make your choices alone, how can I trust you? ❜
❛ What is it you want most? ❜
❛ I cannot be summoned like some mongrel pup! ❜
❛ There is more to you than meets the eye, isn’t there? ❜
❛ Yes, I lied to you. ❜
❛ No, I don’t love you. ❜
❛ Our fates have been entwined, but never joined. ❜
❛ You be the cur that led these wolves to our door? ❜
❛ My actions were my own and to my own purpose. ❜
❛ There has definitely been a breakdown in discipline aboard this vessel. ❜
❛ It’s too late to earn my forgiveness. ❜
❛ I trust you to know your place. ❜
❛ We shall have a magnificent garden party, and you’re not invited! ❜
❛ You add an agreeable sense of the macabre to any delirium. ❜
❛ The only way for a pirate to make a living these days is by betraying other pirates. ❜
❛ Drop your weapons, or I kill the man/woman! ❜
❛ We shall go to war! ❜
❛ There’s an evil on these seas that even the most staunch and bloodthirsty pirates have come to fear. ❜
❛ This is no longer your world. ❜
❛ Him at peace. ❜
❛ Death has a way of reshuffling one’s priorities. ❜
❛ You are free to be with your charming murderess. ❜
❛ What else have you not told me? ❜
❛ She/he could not be trusted. ❜
❛ You loved her/him. She’s/he’s the one, and then you betrayed her/him. ❜
❛ You betrayed her/him. ❜
❛ You loved her/him. ❜
❛ She/he pretended to love me. ❜
❛ I kept it safe for you. ❜
❛ Will you ever forgive me? ❜
❛ The code is the law! ❜
❛ Abandon ship! ❜
❛ It’s like you don’t know me at all, mate. ❜
❛ I had nothing to do with your father’s/NAME death. ❜
❛ That does not absolve me of my other sins. ❜
❛ There’s nothing left. ❜
❛ I’m sure there must be a good reason for our suffering. ❜
❛ And some men offer desire as justification for their crimes. ❜
❛ I offer simply my desire. ❜
❛ Pretty speech from a captor, but words whispered through prison bars lose their charm. ❜
❛ It’s never too late to learn. ❜
❛ A dangerous song to be singing for anyone ignorant of its meaning. ❜
❛ And what makes you think I need protecting? ❜
❛ We’ve come to rescue you. ❜
❛ My freedom was forfeit long ago! ❜
❛ If you want to survive, you need what I offer… ❜
❛ Forgive me. ❜
❛ He made me Captain. ❜
❛ You are not my Captain. ❜

Zodiac Signs in Drake Songs

Aries: Find Your Love “Too many times I’ve been wrong. I guess being right takes too long. I’m done waiting, there’s nothing left to do. But give all I have to you and I better find your lovin.”

Taurus: Shot For Me “I can see it in your eyes, you’re angry. Regret got shit on what you’re feeling now. Mad cause he ain’t like me // This is one I know you hated when you heard it. And it’s worse because you know that I deserve it.”

Gemini: U With Me? “You tell me that I’m confusin’. More immature than Marcus Houston. // All that grey in our conversation history, you playin’ mind games, when you sayin’ things. Playin’ mind games, we both doin’ the same thing. Slide on a late night. You like to slide on a late night. You send them, all you text without an invite.”

Cancer: Right Hand “You’re my right hand, you’re my go to. Told me everything about you. That’s a bold move. I know that you’re out here and there’s things you gotta go through. Just know that these streets just don’t love you like I do
and they never will.”

Leo: Shut It Down “Shooting stars all around her, fire, comets. I could bring her through and shut them down, Onyx. No, you’re not imagining, they’re looking at you long stares. Even though she’s standing out she looks like she belongs here.”

Virgo: Practice You only want what’s real. You just never found it. Don’t give them no more chances, oh girl. They had their turn. Everything for a reason, there’s things you had to learn from them.”

Libra: Too Good Yeah, these days I don’t know how to talk to you. I don’t know how to be there when you need me. It feels like the only time you’ll see me. Is when you turn your head to the side and look at me differently. // I’m too good to you. I’m way too good to you. You take my love for granted. I just don’t understand it.”

Scorpio: Marvin’s Room “Talk to me please, don’t have much to believe in. I need you right now, are you down to listen to me? // I’m just sayin’, you could do better. Tell me have you heard that lately. I’m just sayin’ you could do better. And I’ll start hatin’, only if you make me.”

Sagittarius: Come Thru We had the type of nights where morning comes too soon… and nothing was the same. We ain’t spoke in so long, probably put me in the past. I can still get you wet and I can still make you laugh. I could pour you up a drink and we can burn something.”

Capricorn: Fancy You don’t do it for the man, men never notice. You just do it for yourself. You’re the fucking coldest // Intelligent too ooh you’re my sweetheart. I’ve always liked my women book and street smart.”

Aquarius: Hold On, We’re Going Home “I got my eyes on you. You’re everything that I see. I want your hot love and emotion, endlessly. I can’t get over you. You left your mark on me.// Just hold on we’re going home. It’s hard to do these things alone.”

Pisces: The Real Her “They keep telling me don’t save you. If I ignore all that advice. Then something isn’t right. Then who will I complain to? // You got that shit that somebody would look for but won’t find. You must’ve done this before, this can’t be your first time.”

[as in if Drake (Scorpio) were singing/rapping to your sign or about your sign, these would be the songs]

Okay but the Look that Alex gives Ben when Ben says, “You would do the same thing for a friend.”

And then the Awkward Silent Moment after Caleb resigns his commission and no one says anything and Ham is just internally like… “do I have to do everything…”

And then finally, to top it all off, that Eyebrow thing he does when he asks Caleb about his future plans and then the way he has his head tilted towards Ben like, “I know you’re gonna be doin’ him so let’s just cut to the chase and move on with our lives”

I’m just sayin… He totally knows that these boys are Not Straight

the new kid, part 5





right! this is done!

Lup took us through the kitchen (Where Taako started working on his weird magic thing again), and out the back door, and the yard was like, weirdly large. Like, the size of an actual field.  

“Your yard doesn’t look this big from outside?” I asked Angus, and he said “Oh, it’s a variant of Mordenkainen’s magnificent mansion,” and Lup said “Yeah, me and Barry set it up when we moved here, cause Magnus wanted a dog.”

I have no idea what Morde-whats’ mansion is, and it sounded pretty neat, but not as neat as a dog.

‘You have a dog? I asked.

“Not yet,” Angus shrugged. “But soon!”

Lup rolled her eyes. “Yeah, now Mango wants two dogs.”

“You gotta let me come play with it when you one, okay?” I said.

“Of course!” Angus said, and by then we were pretty far into the field and Lup (and I can’t believe I was getting taught magic by Lup Taaco!) said, “Aight, baby nerds, wands out, time to get schooled.”

And the lesson was really weird, but like, not bad weird? Like you could tell that Lup isn’t like, Dr. Wellsey who teaches 6th and 7th grade magecraft. But it was good weird! And it was the first time I’ve seen Angus cast magic — cause it’s super not allowed to do outside of class — and like, wow. He’s really good. Like, crazy good, like I totally believe that he’s taking eighth grade honors classes now. Lup had him casting fireball, and then she started teaching him grand fireball, and that was like, crazy.

And now I can cast magic missile with two bolts! Which Lup says is pretty advanced for my age, and that I shouldn’t worry about keepin’ up with Angus cause he has a year on me, for learning.

“Though if you want any magic schoolin’ you better come ask me again, kiddo,” Lup said.  "Real school’s more interested in makin’ sure they don’t get sued than actually teaching you anything cool.“

And I said "Okay!” but I was too intimidated to ask if she meant that I could ask her again, not because she was scary, but because she’s Lup Taaco.

But maybe I’ll ask Angus to ask her.


So, after doing magic, we went upstairs to Angus’s room again, and then we just kind of hung out, like we had planned to. Angus gave me a couple of books and told me that I could return them “whenever,” and I said “Okay, thanks.” And we talked about our other friends, and the new Caleb Cleveland TV show that’s coming out next spring and whether we thought it was going to be any good or not. Angus thinks it’s probably not going to be as good, but I think it’s going to be decent. He just thinks they’re going to mess up the mystery, but I like 'em more for the stories, you know?

And we talked about school and teachers and stuff, and how different elementary school was to middle school. I wasn’t like, surprised at all to learn that Angus had been out of school for the past couple of years. I didn’t know why he came back, you know? He’s really smart, he doesn’t need to be there.

When I asked him that, Angus shrugged.

“I wanted to, I guess.”

“School sucks, though,” I said.

“I like having friends,” Angus said, and I guess that made sense, because it’s really hard to hang out with people when you don’t see them like, every day, and I guess if he was just getting tutored then it would be really hard for him to meet like, other middle schoolers, and I never would have met him. So I’m glad he came to school, and I told him that.

“I’m glad you came to our school,” I said.

“Thanks!” Angus said, and he looked like, actually really happy I said that, and it was nice. “I’m glad I met you guys,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said, and I was kind of thinking about how crazy Angus’s life has been, because he’s done so much more stuff than I have, like, his life is so not normal that he was happy to go to middle school, and then I thought it was maybe a little bit sad, cause it didn’t seem like he had much time to make friends. But also, he got to help save the world, and now he’s got a really big family so I think maybe it worked out okay for him. And then I had a thought.

“Wait,” I said. “Is the Starblaster in your garage?”

“Yeah,” Angus said. “Do you want to see it?”

Did I want to see it, he asks. Did I want to see a spaceship?!



Angus’s garage looked pretty much like every other garage, except really big, and instead of bikes or carts or something, the whole space of the garage was taken up by a gleaming silver spaceship, with an engine that glowed softly.

The Starblaster was hands down the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.  

It was like, it was like something out of TV! It was all gleaming silver and chrome and it looked exactly like it had in the broadcast, except better polished, and the door was open on the deck.

“Can we go inside?” I asked Angus.

“Sure,” he said, and he climbed up the little ladder to the deck and I followed him.

The deck was pretty cool, it just had a little half-cockpit thing with a steering wheel and some buttons, and near the back there was a door that led into the ship. I remembered it from the broadcast. Angus led me inside, and I was probably being pretty annoying cause I kept stopping to look at stuff, because it was the first time I’d ever been on a spaceship, and probably going to be the only time I was on a spaceship, unless I was invited back to Angus’s.

“This is so cool,” I said to Angus. He grinned.

“I know! Isn’t it great?” He paused. “Wanna see the engine room? That’s where all the cool spaceship parts are.”


And he lead me down a couple of corridors and a couple ladders, and by then all the floor and the walls and ceiling were all metal and it was pretty spooky, and then we heard a voice, saying “Hello?” and I jumped. But Angus didn’t. He just called down the corridor, “Hello sir! I’m just showing my friend around the Starblaster!”

“Kiddo, I thought I told you to stop calling me sir,” the voice called, and then a figure emerged from around a corner and it was Barry Bluejeans, and I guess by now I should have stopped being surprised by every hero I saw but it was really really cool, still. Bluejeans is kind of a stupid name, though, not that I’m ever going to say that out loud.

“Sorry, Barry,” Angus said.

“No worries,” he said, in like a friendly tone of voice, and then he looked at me and said, “Oh, Nicky, right? Angus’s friend from school.” And he held out his hand to shake mine like I was a grown up or something, which was cool.

And I said “Nice to meet you!” and I shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you too,” he said. “Me and Cap are just doing some repairs, nothing too interesting, don’t let us detain you.”

“Are you heading out again?” Angus asked.

“Not for a couple of weeks,” Barry said, shaking his head. And then I asked, “Heading out?”

And Barry turned to me and said, “We’ve been using the Starblaster to bring aid and supplies to places that need it, you know, after the Hunger’s attack. Pretty much winding down, though.”

And I said, “Wow,” because that’s really, that’s like a really good person thing to do. “That’s really cool.”

Barry shrugged. “Just doin’ our jobs. Actually, hey, if the two of you want the grand tour, I can grab Cap?”

“Aren’t you busy?” Angus asked. “I don’t want to bother him, if you’re busy.”

“I can finish things up by myself, Angus,” Barry said, smiling. “Besides, Cap used to love showing people around the ship. It’s like his baby.”

And I said, “Okay!” before Angus could protest more, and that’s how we ended up getting a tour of the Starblaster from Captain Davenport.

It was. So. Freaking. Cool. Spaceships are like, the best thing ever, and it’s so cool that they’re even real, now, cause until this summer it was like, a fairytale story type thing, you know? And Captain Davenport showed us around all the rooms (except like, people’s bedrooms and stuff), and he was really cool about it and seemed really excited, actually, that I was so into it, and Angus also seemed to really enjoy it even though he’s been inside the ship before.

He said to me later that he hadn’t ever had the tour, cause when he was on the ship the first time things had been pretty crazy. And we learned a bunch about the world that the crew had come from, and it was so weird! They had two suns! Angus tried to figure out the math of it, and the Captain had laughed, and told him to ask Taako, because Taako was the one who was good at math. And then Angus said “I thought Taako didn’t know any math?” and Cap rolled his eyes and said “Taako refuses to learn Faerunian mathematics, on principle. He’s pretty good at our world’s calculus and algebra, though.”

And eventually we came back to the engine room, where Barry was tinkering with a thing, and when he saw us, he looked up.

“Have fun?” he said, and me and Angus nodded and I nodded. Barry smiled. “Great.” And Captain Davenport said that he had a good time too.

Then Barry asked, “Hey, what time is it?” I looked at my watch.

“Like, sevenish?”

“Hm, probably gonna be dinner, soon,” he said. “C'mon, lets go back inside.”

And then everyone left the spaceship, but that was okay, cause I was getting pretty hungry by then.


Dinner was really interesting. It’s always weird eating dinner at other people’s houses, right? Cause you never know what everyone else eats, and you have to talk with your friends parents or maybe their little siblings, and it’s really weird seeing your friend act like how they act at home, which is different than how they act at school.

So, dinner at Angus’s house was spaghetti and meatballs, and also salad and garlic bread, like, really good garlic bread. Actually everything was really good, which wasn’t like, surprising, cause Lup and Taako were making dinner when we came in from the garage, and Taako said “Wash your hands, you grease monkeys, and help us with dinner.” So we did, and it was kind of fun. I help out with dinner a lot at home, but we never use magic, and here Lup and Taako use it like spellslots aren’t something they have to worry about. Like, Lup used a bunch of fire spells to cook things, and Taako kept turning stuff into other stuff, and I guess I stared a little bit because they started kind of, making a show out of it, and it was just really really cool.

And then we sat down for dinner, and this was after Taako shouted with a magically projected voice, “HEY GUYS DINNERS READY, COME DOWN, M'DUDES, OR ELSE IT’LL BE GONEZO,” which was like, a weird and kind of rude way to tell people to come down to dinner, but I guess it worked cause people came down.

So, at the (really big) table was me, Angus, Lup, Taako, Magnus, Merle, Davenport, Lucretia, and Barry, except not in that order cause I forget what order people were sitting in. I actually feel really weird calling them by their first names, but it’s even weirder saying like, Mr. Burnsides, cause these are like, heroes, not just anyone’s parents, or something. It’s like, crazy that I had dinner with them.

But anyway, we sat down for dinner and it was actually really nice? Like, I don’t know, it was just like eating dinner with anyone else’s big family, and they asked me questions about school and my life, you know how parents and stuff are. I guess they were curious about who Angus was hanging out with.

“So, how did you guys become friends, Nicky?” Magnus asked, and I swallowed the bite I was chewing and said “Oh, we sit next to each other in homeroom,” and Angus added that “we like the same books, and our lockers are next to each other too!”

And Taako rolled his eyes and said, “Assigned seating, jeezy creezy, school is crazy.”

And I said, “You didn’t go to school?” cause I thought you like, had to go to school, you know, even just for a little bit, unless you already had a job, and Taako winked at me and said, “School of life, baby,” and Lucretia rolled her eyes and said “Please don’t listen to Taako,” and then Lup cut in and said, “I mean, if you wanna be a wizard, though,” and then I said, “Actually, I kind of want to be a cleric?” And Angus nodded to back me up.  

When I said cleric, then, Merle sort of leaned forward and perked up and said, “you looking for a god then, lil’ miss?”

And I said, “My mom says that I can think about that when I’m older,” and he nodded and said, “Sure, sure, but in case you’re ever wondering…” and he passed me like, a really badly folded pamphlet, “think about Pan, okay?” and I said “Okay?” and Magnus said, “Stop trying to convert Angus’s friend!”

So that’s pretty much what all of dinner was like. I guess the only other weird thing was when the grown-ups kind of ended up talking about what happened last summer, and they asked me about my experience, if I wanted to talk, cause they were curious about what it had been like on the ground. And then Angus said “hey, don’t ask her about that!” cause he kind of knows about my nonexistent now existent dad, and how weird things were, and they said sorry, and I said it was okay, and then I was really awkward about it for a moment.

“Um, also, thank you for saving the world,” I said, “Cause, it woulda been pretty bad if you…hadn’t…” I kind of trailed off at the end, cause I realized that maybe that was a stupid thing to say. But Merle laughed, and said, “Yeah, no shit it woulda been bad!” so it was okay, I guess, and I was glad I said it.

Anyway, I guess what I’m mostly saying is that it’s really weird to have dinner with the heroes of reality who happen to be your new friend’s family, but it’s not like, bad.


I guess the thing is, you always expect heroes to be like, larger than life, you know? You don’t expect them to like, adopt a kid and live in a house and eat dinner together, but like, I think it’s nicer that way. I think it’s nice that Madame Director can wear mom jeans and mom their kid, and that Taako and Lup can make dinner and heckle everyone into helping, and Magnus can ask his their kid about his friends, you know? I guess it’s nice to know that heroes can go home again, or like, make home, or something like that.

And I think it’s nice that Angus has a family, cause like, i dunno. I’ve always wanted a big family, but you know, you get what you get, usually, and I’m glad that Angus got a really nice family, and that I got to meet him at school.

Wow! That’s pretty sappy, isn’t it?


After dinner, me and Angus just hung out in the living room and played some fantasy video games, and I pretty much beat Angus at all of them, because Angus doesn’t really play — apparently it’s mostly Lup, Taako, and Magnus who really use the system, although Lucretia always beats everyone — and I play like, all the time against my sister. So that was pretty entertaining, or at least kind of funny, and I showed Angus some of the better tricks I know, and he got a lot better. He started winning toward the end, which was nice cause it was cool that the tricks I showed him worked, but annoying cause he was winning against me.

And then my mom called, so we had to stop playing games and say goodbye instead. I kinda wanted to stay longer, and I think Angus wanted me to stay longer too, and I sort of wished we had negotiated for a sleepover, but I don’t think it would have happened.

Angus walked me to the front door.

“Thanks for coming, Nicky,” Angus said.

“I had a lotta fun,” I told him, and I meant it. “You should come over sometime, my house isn’t as cool as yours, but we could hang out.” I meant that, too, and I didn’t want him to think that I had only liked coming over cause I got to meet his famous family. Because I came over cause I liked Angus, to begin with, and I still like him.

“That’d be neat!” he said and smiled at me, and I grinned at him. Then I gave him a hug, to say goodbye, and he hugged me back, and I said “Seeya at school, Angus,” and he said “See you Monday,” and I let go, and waved, and then I walked outside.

And then I ran down the driveway to where my mom was waiting for me. I have so much to tell her! And I need to ask if Angus can come over sometime.


god. im so tired. and having a preemptive emotion about taz before the update drops. 

authors notes + ao3 link probs gonna go up tomorrow or friday, thanks for reading <3 this might get an edit later, fyi <3 

anonymous asked:

You should write a blurb about Harry making you breakfast with your daughter on your anniversary! ❤️

This was a cute request, and I was in a fluffy mood. Oh and it’s in Harry’s POV. Enjoy.

Anniversary Pancakes

I was in love with her. After six blissful years of marriage, I was still as much in love with her as I’d been the day we said “I do.”

I woke up before she did, thinking about the night we’d shared. I’d made love to her three times, each time bringing her to the brink as she called out my name. Then we’d laid in each other’s arms, whispering sweet nothings, exchanging confirmations of our everlasting love. The sun was just starting to rise, a blueish glow streaming through the curtains. I laid in bed watching her for a good ten minutes, her chest rising and falling as puffs of breaths escaped her lips. She was so beautiful, it took all the strength I had not to wake her up with a gentle kiss. But I wanted to let her sleep. Today was our anniversary, and I had plans.

I sauntered into the kitchen squinting my eyes when I flipped the switch, light illuminating the granite countertops. I started the coffee brewing, knowing that’s the first thing my love likes when she wakes up. Opening the refrigerator, I pulled out the eggs, milk, cheese, spinach and bacon. I’d just finished whisking the eggs in a bowl when I heard the pitter patter of little feet on the hardwood floor.

“Morning, Daddy,” my little girl said softly as she appeared around the corner, her tiny fist rubbing her eye.

“Morning, princess, what are you doin’ up so early?”

She merely shrugged before reaching her arms out to me for a hug. I set the bowl down on the counter and lifted her into my arms, giving her a kiss on her forehead.

Keep reading

Solo Man

i saw this gif and got inspired to write an imagine about niall doing an interview for a british tv show just i made up, i hope you enjoy x

“Hello everyone, welcome back to Entertainment Now, I’m Robert Morgan, and to end of the show we’re talking to my friend; the one, the only, the solo man himself, Niall Horan!”

Niall smiled and waved at the camera. “Hello!”

“Thanks for joining us today.” Robert chimed.

Niall nodded. “Thanks for having me.”

“So, This Town, your chart-topping single, has gotten tons of praise. What was it like writing it? Like, what was the process?” Robert started.

Niall thought for a quick moment. “Um, it was cool. I wrote it with my good friend Jamie, as you probably know. But, uh, I kind of have this tempo thing, where I pick up my guitar and kind of just play, and then it just kind of came from there. We just sat down by the piano, and Jamie was flyin up and down the piano and… it just kind of came naturally. We were just stuck on the chorus for a while… tryin to come up with that first line, cause the first like always kind of kicks of the chorus… and when that comes you just get the trail of thought. But yeah, it just came naturally.”

“Right, right. As you could probably tell, everyone’s really looking forward to hearing your album. So, if you could describe it in three words, what would they be?” Robert asked.

Niall raised his eyebrows. “Wow three words… uh, that’s obviously kind of tough. But, um, i guess kinda folky? And honest… thoughtful, and kind of live feeling? Though, that’s down to the producer, really. He’s been doing a great job.”

Robert laughed at him. “Mate, that was more than three, but hey, we’ll take it.”

Niall gave him a playful warning look. “Don’t push my buttons, Robert. You know I’m not very good at maths.”

Robert waved him off. “Just messing with you. So, do you miss touring? What about it do you miss most?”

“Yeah, of course i miss bein’ on tour.” Niall nodded. “It’s the best part of what we do. Uh, I miss bein’ out on the road, and bein’ on the bus, and travelin’… I’m lookin forward to maybe doin’ my own soon, and I’m lookin forward to just gettin out there, cause I miss bein’ on stage and jammin’ out.”

“Well, now I’m going to ask you about your friends.” Robert said, and Niall looked at him funny, then laughed. “Have you talked to the guys lately?”

“Um, yeah, we talk from time to time. As you could probably guess, we’re all a bit busy at the moment, doing our own things, but we talk when we can. I actually visited Louis during Christmas, and that was fun, you know gettin’ to see his family and stuff.”

“Aw, how sweet.” Robert all but sang. “Do you miss anything about the boys and the crew?”

Niall chuckled. “Definitely, yeah. Like… I suppose I miss bein’ around everyone all the time. I mean, you spend so much time together– we toured for nine months out of the year, and then did promo for the last two so… going from being around everyone everyday is a bit of a change, but everyone gets to keep in touch with each other and it’s great. Um, we always had a great relationship and we always will.”

An almost mischievous grin appeared on Robert’s face. “So, speaking of relationships–”

“Oh man…” Niall interrupted, grinning and chuckling as he rubbed his now red face.

“Trust me, I held off as long as I could.” Robert tried.

Niall continued to chuckle as he raised his eyebrows. “I’m sure you did, mate.”

“How are you and (y/n) doing?” Robert asked next.

Niall beamed, his eyes lighting up. “Great, we’re doin’ great,”

Robert smiled. “How did you know she was the one for you?”

“Um, I guess I kind of knew when I first met her, cause she was absolutely perfect. She still is, honestly. But I didn’t want to be all like ‘ooh, i really want to be with this girl’ just in case she wasn’t all that in to me.” Niall laughed.

“But obviously she was! You both are still buzzing from the engagement, I assume?” Robert smiled.

“Oh, of course. It’s only been a week, I’m sure we’ll still be giddy about it until the wedding, to be quite honest.” Niall admitted.

Robert nodded. “Any idea when that will be happening? Any dates in mind?”

“Like I said, it’s been a week.” Niall deadpanned, then chuckled. “We haven’t even started any planning. Well, at least I haven’t, (y/n) could’ve started and just not told me.”

“Well have you guys planned anything else? like maybe kids, for instance?” Robert poked.

“No, I mean we’ve talked about it, sure… as most engaged couples have, but that’ll probably happen after we’re married. If everything goes to plan, at least.”

Robert gave him a look and laughed. “But I thought you hadn’t planned anything yet?”

Niall paused, then rolled his eyes, throwing his head back and groaning jokingly. He then looked around at the camera and crew in front of them. “Are we done here? Yeah? Alright.” Everyone laughed at his joke.

Robert looked at the crew too, them nodding in agreement that the segment was over. “Oh we really are done, then. Thanks for coming, it was good talking with you, Niall.”

Niall chuckled, shaking his hand. “No problem, you too, Robert. Always a joy seeing you.”

Robert turned towards the camera. “Well, that’s all for Entertainment Now, I’m Robert Morgan. See you next time.”

if you enjoyed this and want to request something feel free to do so, my requests are always open x

Doin’ Dirt

Request: “Barry Allen fic of Doin’ Dirt by Maroon 5.” 

Ship: Barry Allen x Fem!Reader 

Warnings: A wee bit of smut, fluff, sexual tension. (By the way, I don’t usually do music imagines, so I’m sorry if this is shit..) cussing, etc.


Your P.O.V

It’s been a long and endless week. Barry and I haven’t been able to spend time together because of our different schedules. And when we do get to be with each other, the only thing we do is work.. We don’t cuddle or talk or anything.. We just work on finding the meta-human that seems to be causing mischief. All I wanted was to be with Barry romantically.. and ya know. 

Oh yeah, Oh yeah 

Hey you, don’t wanna love you on the telephone. 

You’re hanging up and I’m all alone. 

Baby you’ve got me doin dirt, doin dirt, doin dirt. 

And now I want to find you but you’re off the run . 

My hearts exploding like a burning sun. 

And I know you like it when it hurts, when it hurts, when it hurts. 

We paced the lab back and forth, crossing paths every few seconds. Caitlyn and Cisco had the day off and Mr.Wells was at a science convention. So we ‘volunteered’ to hold down the fort. Our thoughts completely and utterly developed within our work. All of a sudden, I heard a loud gasp. I turn towards Barry, concerned. “You okay?” He nodded, rolling his eyes. Never had I seen this type of frustration exhibit from him. I muttered under my breath, pulling out my phone to check the time. “I’m gonna grab some food for us so we can take a break.” He merely nodded, allowing me to leave without a seconds glance. I wonder what’s up with him?

Hold me down, we’re dancing in the dark of the night. 

You’re shining like a neon light. 

I light you up when I get inside.

So won’t you touch me ‘cause everybody’s watching us now.

We’re putting on a show for the whole crowd. 

So turn it up baby make it loud.

Hey you, say that you’re only having fun and then.

You call me up at 3-AM again. 

Baby you got me doing dirt, doing dirt, doing dirt. 

And now all I got is just a microphone. 

To let you know that I am all alone.

I know you like it when it hurts, when it hurts, when it hurts.

The next day.. 

Originally posted by skins--uk

I walked in my house, setting the work down on floor. I took off my jacket, stretching out my arms. Rubbing my neck in a soothing manor, I leaned against my door. I groan, running a hand through my hair. All of a sudden, a large mass flipped my body, so that it was facing away from the front door. I looked up to see Barry smirking at me wickedly. I gaze at him, confused. “Barry? Are you-” Before I could finish, he slammed his lips into mine. Soon, we fell into a passionate rhythm. He wrapped his hands around my wrists, shoving them roughly above my head. 

Originally posted by linie-papilarne

When he spoke, his voice was low, lustful and sexy. “I’ve missed you so much.” He rubbed his hand up and down my back. I grinned with the kiss. “Eager are we?” He grinned, wickedly. “God yes.” He lifted me up, caring me to the couch. He was gentle when he set me down, but then attacked my lips once more.

Originally posted by painfulblisss

Hold me, we’re dancing in the dark of the night. 

You’re shining like a neon light.

I light you up when you get inside.

So you won’t touch me ‘cause everywhere’s watching us now. 

We’re putting on a show for the crowd. 

So turn it up baby make it loud. 

Yeah come on. 

So right now, I wanna leave with you right now. 

I wanna be in the car with you all night so lets go. 

Yeah so let’s take it home, take it home, take it home. 

So right now, I wanna leave with you right now. 

I wanna be in the car with you all night so lets go.

Yeah so let’s take it home, take it home, take it home.

Hold me, we’re dancing in the dark of the night. 

You’re shining like a neon light. 

I light you up when I get inside. 

So won’t you touch me ‘cause everybody’s watching us now. 

We’re putting on a show for the crowd. 

So turn it up baby make it loud. 

Our bodies moved together in a passionate and messy motion. His hands gripped, tightly around my waist. I drove my nails into his neck and hair. Gasping for air. Both of our breaths in motion. This was gonna be along, wild night. 

(I hope you liked it!!!) 

Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Starter Sentences (ep.1)

Some NSFW content

☩ ❝ Hey, _____, do you have the target? ❞

☩   ❝ Well, better take the shot, you’re letting _____ get away. ❞

☩   ❝ Going to miss it! Going to miss it! ❞

☩ ❝  Hey, _____! Hey! Hey, _____! ❞

☩   ❝ There! I took the fucking shot! She/he’s dead, there’s blood everywhere! ❞

☩   ❝ …Oh, you are just a treat. ❞

☩   ❝ Now, I know what you’re thinking: “How did all this come about?” Well, it all started on a midnight stroll through the woods. The air was clear, the moon was full. I was dying to sink my teeth into something. Get it? Because I’m a vampire. Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… It’s funny. ❞

☩  ❝ Everyone else is already dead. Except this little tart. But trust me, I still plan to kill her. ❞

☩   ❝ But before I can do any of that… I’m going to kill you!

☩   ❝ Oh? See, that would be intimidating, if you were… well, intimidating. ❞

☩   ❝ Gr-r-r, are you mocking me?! ❞

☩   ❝ Oh, no, no, no, no, no… Pfft, yeah! ❞

☩ ❝ Well, that should about wrap things up here. ❞

☩   ❝ Oh, yeah. Forgot about you. Sorry about that whole “shooting you” thing, but I know if you look deep into your heart, which is currently all over that tree, you’ll find a way to forgive me. ❞

☩   ❝ Awww, geez, you look like a puppy. A blonde, eviscerated puppy. ❞

☩  ❝ Christ! Fine! I’ll help you! But only because you got nice tits. ❞

☩   ❝ So, that’s your field report? You went on a walk through the forest at midnight. You killed a homicidal vampire priest. And then you turned someone into a vampire, who happened to be a big tittied– ❞

☩ ❝ Yes! It’s like I didn’t just get through explaining this. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got things to do. ❞

☩   ❝ What “things”? You don’t do “things”. ❞

☩   ❝ Yes, I do. I take enthusiastic walks through the woods. Very enthusiastic walks. ❞

☩   ❝ And kill homicidal vampire priests? ❞

☩  ❝ So you broke into the house…and you shot him thirty-six times? …You need to stop going on walks. ❞

☩   ❝ And you need to hurry up and hook up some god-damned DSL in here! ❞

☩   ❝ Ooooh… I’ve never hunted down a leprechaun before. Do you think if I shoot them with my gun Lucky Charms will explode everywhere?!  ❞

☩   ❝ Awww, come on! I have to bring _____ everywhere!

☩   ❝ Ah-ah-ah! None of the sass! ❞

☩  ❝ Yes, MOM. ❞

☩  ❝ Oh, just try to fucking stop me! ❞

☩   ❝ Second verse, same as the first. Now put me on a plane, so I can put'em in a hearse! ❞

☩   ❝ Hey, _____! _____! This is awesome! You should totally join in! Seriously, there’s like… forty zombies in here! Just one shot to the head and they explode! [gunshot] It’s just like House of the Dead, only like… a hundred times more awesome! ❞

☩   ❝ Fine! I’ll shoot some of the rotten bastards! Can’t be that much fun……Oh, fuck the hell, yes!

☩   ❝ Sweet Black fucking Sabbath! If I wasn’t holding out for that beast of _____, I’d fuck the red right out of those eyes.

☩   ❝ Well… kinda like that, only with less symbolism and more my penis in your vagina. ❞

☩   ❝ Huh?! Suddenly it reeks of hypocrisy in here.  ❞

☩   ❝ Ah, and look at what we have here? A bloody heathen!

☩ ❝ Excuse me, but I’m a fuck-mothering vampire! I’ve killed a lot of people to get this title. I deserve to be called such! ❞ 

☩   ❝ Oh, fuck all kinds of duck! ❞

☩   ❝ You have been chosen to reveal my existence to the world. You will witness what happens here today, and you will tell of it later… except you won’t… ‘cause I’ll kills ‘ya! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! ❞

☩   ❝ Oh, my, brilliant speech… and unoriginal. That’s totally from Boondock Saints. ❞

☩   ❝ What?! No, it isn’t! I came up with it a week ago. ❞

☩   ❝ The only one left here is your sorry pale ass. ❞

☩   ❝ It is your corrupt I claim. It is your evil that will be sought by me with every breath… ❞

☩   ❝ Boondock… Saints. Seriously, you must watch that movie religiously. Huh-huh… get it? ❞

☩   ❝ OK, you know what? Fuck it. Knife. ❞

☩ ❝  Headshot. Well, now that that’s over, how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal, Count Cho- ❞

☩   ❝ Well, now that that’s over, how about we go back to my place for a bowl of my favorite cereal Frankenbe… ❞

☩   ❝ Son of a protestant whore! Well, you know what time it is! ❞

☩ ❝  See… this kind of shit is why I stopped going to church. ❞

☩ ❝  _____…______, you are reading your master’s mind. Put my head between your boobs! ❞

☩   ❝ Now I’m all alone… The only one I had left was you. ❞

☩   ❝ Very good! Now the next thing I want you to do is… put me between your legs! —– God damn it! ❞

☩   ❝ It’s a shame for you lost your head. A careless vampire, who wound up dead. You wore your sin like it was some kind of prize. Too many lies… too many lies. ❞

☩   ❝ What do I do? What do I do?! I… I could try seducing him… wait, no! I’m not an eight-year old boy! SHIT! ❞

☩   ❝ Say your prayers, wee lass! ❞

☩ ❝  That girl belongs to me! ❞

☩   ❝ Well, aren’t you the naughty one? ❞

☩   ❝ Don’t make me shoot you in the fucking head! ❞

☩   ❝ What the hell do you want, you crazy protestant bastard? ❞

☩  ❝ Call yourself whatever you want, you crazy protestant bastard. ❞

☩   ❝ You do know this is a grave violation of our agreement. ❞

☩  ❝ I have no idea what chou’re on about. I’m just here doin’ my job! Killin’ vampires ‘n’ werewolves an’ leprechauns. I never actually found one but do you think if I cut one open with my knife, it would spill out Lucky Charms? ❞

☩   ❝ You done goofed. ❞

☩   ❝ How the blood-soaked protestant hell did you do that?! ❞

☩   ❝ Fuck you, that’s how. ❞

☩   ❝ You know what? I’ve had enough of this. To hell with all you dirty heathens! ❞

☩   ❝ Eat me! Don’t forget to write! ❞

☩ ❝  No, and that’s final! We’ve got bigger things to worry about. Whoever’s behind these vampire attacks… it has to be some kind of large organized group. ❞

☩ ❝  Like the Nazis? ❞

☩   ❝ That would be retarded. ❞

☩   ❝ Gentlemen… ve… are Nazis! Und ve… vill have var! Und ve… und ve… *sneeze*  ❞

Story time UPDATE!

I have great but not really awesome news!

So I’m not sure how many of you remember my depressing tale of my Korean coworker who has issues and has a stone wall guarding his heart. He use to say all kinds of degrading things to me, especially about my skin color, all turns out he was trying to push me away?? It’s cool if you don’t remember that but there’s more now!

So I wrote that like 2 months ago right? Well me and this boy are still friends…actually GREAT friends. We still tease each other but now he tells me everything on his mind, he includes me in activities outside of work, and lately….he’s been complimenting the shit out of me??? I’ll try to make this short but my heart is in flames!!

Basically we’re on a level of intellect and advice giving now, he has a serious imbalance of chemicals in that brain of his so I no longer get mad when he yells at me or ignores me because he always apologizes a couple of days later. Plus I don’t take it seriously, he doesn’t do this to only me but everyone he talks to, I just let it be, I know the reason behind his “episodes”. Anyway, I’ve gotten into fashion lately, since I’m not a fan of dresses and skirts, I wear pants, leggings and joggers. During one of his down days, I ignored him cuz I know he doesn’t like being bothered…well out of no where he started smiling at me and complimenting me on my joggers. I said thanks and I wouldn’t mind getting him a pair. He laughed and said “then we can be matching, people would know it’s between me and you”…uhhhh what??? I was so confused but I smiled and went to work. Yup, compliments like that came my way almost every time I saw him. I’ve been losing more weight (from 217 to 156 now) and it’s quite obvious, I’m thinner but my curves haven’t left at all. It’s not unusual for random older men to look at me now…despite my tomboyish look. So one day we were talking and all of a sudden my friend yelled “THE FUCK YOU STARIN AT?!” I looked around surprised as shit that he started getting mad, I thought he was having another episode which caught me off guard…considering his day was an up day. Down the sidewalk behind us was an older guy like 40-ish was saying “aye is that your girl?? My bad!” He then yells for him to mind his fucking business and pushes me back inside our store. He was heated and got mad at me for not checking my surroundings. I joked with him saying it happens often but he said, in the most serious tone “you look too good in those pants, you can’t just take this as a joke”….lord I didn’t know what to say so I kinda left and didn’t look back. Oh lord I already really like this guy but with him doin things like that…I couldn’t breathe man!

Most recently, last week I got a hair cut, the sides and the back so it looks like I have a fade. Just a bush on the top of my hair. It was late and I was ready to go home when he came out of nowhere. I had a crummy day so I couldn’t help but smile when I saw him…I kid you not, 10pm, turning of lights, bent over gathering my things, I heard footsteps and turned to see him in a black wife beater, some torn jeans and silver Jordan’s. He lifts so his muscles are defined! I shot up and smiled really wide and kinda sing songed his name~ he paused and looked away, almost turning around. I felt embarrassed that I was too excited to see him…but whatever, I pulled him into a hug…he held on just a little longer than needed. Anyway we chit chatted for a few and he was just staring at me. I was like “what’s up???” Then he said “God, black people have the nicest hair” not really talking to me but like thinking out loud. He then walked really close to me and asked if he could touch my hair. I laughed and said yea. He played with my little puff for a while saying how it felt like cotton or a cloud and just groomed me. I was boiling hot man! He made me sit down between his legs, he was on a step and I was on the ground so he could play with my curls. Yo, I was almost late clocking out cuz I wanted to stay just like that! Ughhhhh! So I’m pretty sure he’s feeling me too but we’re gonna keep this as it is. Right now, at this moment he’s having a down week and isn’t replying but imma be right here when he bounces back. It’s weird that I don’t want a relationship cuz my heart won’t be able to take his down days. Since we’re not together, I feel like he’s not obligated to keep in touch with me everyday opposed to how I would feel if we were together. PLUS he’s not stable enough to hold someone else’s feelings when he can’t even control his own at the moment so I’m just gonna say that what I got goin on with this Korean boy is really nice, just really REALLY nice!


No Matter What

Requested by Anonymous: After reading that last headcanon I gotta ask, can you do one where Daryl wants a kid but the reader can’t have one and she’s afraid to tell him?

No Matter What

You were trying to read a book in bed when your husband came home from evening watch duty. “Hey, honey, how was watch?” You ask, not looking up from your book as he took his shoes off and started to crawl into bed.

But rather than crawl onto his side, he laid himself down on top of you and buried his face in your clavicle. “Hard day?” You ask, putting your book on the side table and moving Daryl’s hair out of his face.

“Mmm.” He mumbles into your skin. “You smell so good.” He smiles as he starts to press kisses into your skin.

You laugh. “Alrighty, I guess I know what’s on your mind.” You kiss his forehead. “Go take a shower first, though.”

You start to nudge him off of you, but he grabs your wrist and says, “Wait, Y/N. I wanna talk about something really quick.”

“Um, alright? What’s up?” You settled back down and watched him play with your fingers and kiss the palms of your hands before he spoke.

“What would you say if I told you I wanted to have a baby?” All of the color drained from your face and you tried to hide your reaction the best you could. But Daryl saw and sat up. “Oh. I thought you’d be excited, too.”

“Well, do you really think that’s something we can handle in this world?” You tried to mask your fear as concern. “We could lose Alexandria at any moment and be back out on the road. Do you want to raise a baby in a barn surrounded by walkers?”

“We won’t, Y/N.” Daryl grabbed your hands. “Nothing was guaranteed before and nothing is guaranteed now, but I know one thing for sure: I will protect our family.”

“I don’t doubt that, Daryl, I just…” You trailed off for a moment. “Let’s just talk about it some more. We don’t have to decide tonight or tomorrow, so let’s take some time to think about it, OK?” Daryl was disappointed, but he agreed.


“Hi, Y/N, whatcha doin?” Maggie asked, walking up to you as you harvested strawberries from the community garden.

“Strawberry picking.” You sat back into the dirt and smiled up at her. She had one year-old Beth in her arms, and you reached up to hold the baby. Maggie set her in your arms and sat down next to you. Beth cooed and giggled as you tickled her stomach. “Someone’s a happy baby.”

“I should hope so, yeah.” Maggie laughed. “She was up almost all night being cranky.”

You laughed, then remembered your conversation with Daryl from a few nights ago and a sadness fell over your face. You clutched Beth close to your chest and tried to regain your composure.

“You OK, Y/N?” Maggie asks, putting a hand on your shoulder.

You nod, rubbing the baby’s back. “Yeah. I just… Daryl wants to have a baby.” You shrug. “He asked me about it the other night and was all excited, but I kind of crapped on his parade. I asked him to take some more time to think about it.”

Maggie smiled and nodded. “I get it. It’s a big decision, but if it helps at all, it’s definitely worth it. I was scared out of my mind to have Beth in this world, but she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to Glenn and I.”

You nodded, then tears began to prick in your eyes. “Maggie.” You said quietly. “I can’t have kids.”

Maggie’s smiled wavered and faded. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I was married before the world fell apart, and Jace and I tried and tried, but there’s something wrong with my uterus. I got pregnant once, but I miscarried and it almost killed me, so I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. We always thought we would adopt, but then everything went to shit and I lost Jace early on in Atlanta. I never thought I’d be married again, so I never thought I’d need to have this conversation…”

Beth began to fuss in your arms, so you gave her back to Maggie. “Mags, I never thought I’d be back in this situation. Where my husband wants to start a family and I can’t follow through.”

Maggie used her free arms to pull you into a hug. “Y/N, it’s not your fault. It’s not.”

“I just don’t know how to tell him. He wants a family so bad.” You began to cry.

“You just have to tell him.” Maggie said. “He’ll understand. And if you need help, I will help in any way possible.”

“Thanks, Maggie.”


Later that evening, you came home to Daryl lounging on the couch, cleaning his arrows and drinking a beer. “How was your day?” You ask, and he shrugs. There’d been a little bit of tension in the house since the baby conversation; you could tell Daryl was still hurt that you weren’t as excited as he was, but you hoped that after tonight, he would understand.

“Can we talk?” You ask, moving to sit next to him on the couch.

“About what?” He asks, moving his legs so you could sit down.

“About having a baby.” You say, and watch sadly as his eyes light up.

“Yeah, of course. I know you’re nervous, but you just have to take a chance sometimes. It’s worked out well for Rick and Glenn, and—“

You took his hand in yours softly and cut him off as you said, “Daryl, I can’t have children.” You couldn’t look at him. “I’m so sorry.” You turned away slightly and put your head in your hands, starting to cry and grieve for the life that you’ve lost twice now.

Daryl was stunned. You knew what he was feeling; all of his hopes and dreams for a family and children with you were crumbling away, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. “Are… are you sure?” He asks.

You nod. “I had to have an emergency hysterectomy.” You say. “There’s no chance. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, stop apologizing.” He says, pulling you in for a hug. “It’s not your fault.”

“I just… really wanted this life with you, and knowing that you wanted it, too, and I can’t deliver… It breaks my heart, Daryl.”

“We’ll be fine.” Daryl says, rubbing your back. “It’s disappointing, yeah, but we have our godchildren, and we have each other. That’s all we need.”

You nod into his chest. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Daryl held you for a moment more before he said, “But why didn’t you tell me this the other night?”

“I was nervous. You looked so happy and you wanted a baby so bad. I was scared to ruin that dream.”

Daryl pulled back and kissed your forehead. “Never be afraid to tell me something. We can work anything out.” He hugged you again, and you gripped his vest tightly and sighed with relief.


Have a request? Read the Guidelines for Requests before submitting!

Check out this “Coming Soon” post to see what imagines I’ll be posting next!


anonymous asked:

john and dave meeting and having their first ever gay experience at bible camp (they ditched chapel and making crosses out of macaroni art to go make out in their cabin)

this one might be the best prompt I’ve ever seen thank you

also this is my last prompt of the night thank you so much for everyone who sent me prompts, I’ll try and get to them another night!!


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fangkid-deactivated20150411  asked:

If you found somewhere that was okay with the whole suicide thing and that you could get all the resources and money and time to work on welcome to hell but the station insisted that sock would absolutely not be able to wear a skirt and had to have a manlier voice and would not be able to even joke about flirting with Jonathan, would you take the opportunity?

Okay I had this whole response typed out but my computer crashed.  I’m gonna try to shorten it.  But you should know, that this REALLY got me thinking.  Like… I had to talk through it aloud while I was driving my car earlier to try and sort out my thoughts!  So I’m gonna try to put it down in writing.  Bear with me.

1.  First of all, my knee-jerk reaction was to say “No, of course I wouldn’t make that compromise!”, but then I thought about it a little more. 

2.  I thought, well, it seems far more likely to me that it’d be the other way around; my reasons why I think that could almost justify a whole ‘nother post, so if you guys want an addendum I could get into it, but otherwise I’ll just move ahead, because…

3.  You’re not asking what I think is most likely.  You’re asking me, if I found myself in that situation, how I’d respond.  This is more of a judge of my character; a “would you rather” game of sorts, to judge what aspect of W2H is more important to me.  SO:

  • I’m going to break these items down into 2 groups:
    • DARK STUFF: suicide/murder/death/etc
    • GENDER STUFF:  skirt/voice/flirting/etc
  • The dark stuff is pertinent to the story.  There’s this underlying dark thing bubbling just below the surface of what would otherwise just be a really cute buddy comedy.  This is the antagonistic force that drives the story forward. 
    • If you remove the dark stuff, I feel like it’s not quite the same story.  You could kind of tone it down, but it would still have to be present.  I think without this element, the story is compromised.
  • The gender stuff is pertinent to Sock’s character.  Part of what makes Sock what I’d call a “complex” character (at the risk of sounding arrogant) is the little details like this, which make a character seem more realistic, or believable, or just… more human?  I think it’s the little intricacies and quirks and mannerisms that make a character stand out, above what I’d call simply a “functional” character. 
    • If you remove the gender stuff, I feel like Sock is still the same character, functionally.  He can still serve the same purpose in the story without all of those things.

  • NOW, hang on, because I’m not quiiiiite done.

  • There are 2 things that are really important to me when it comes to my work, and more specifically, W2H.  These things are story and character.
    • Story is great.  We like to be entertained, we like to be thrilled, we like a happy ending, we like an unsatisfying ending.  We like to tell stories; we’re natural-born storytellers.  I love story.  But there’s ONE THING I LIKE EVEN MORE THAN STORY AND IT’S
    • CHARACTER.  I don’t know why.  I have no idea why.  I just love characters.  And I think, really, I think a lot of people are in the same boat.  We latch on to characters; we identify with characters.  We write fanfics and put them in all sorts of situations and AUs, because we don’t always care what story they’re in; we just wanna’ see our babies doin’ stuff.  We know a good, complex character when we see one.  We know when a character feels real, or has heart.  And I don’t know why, I have no idea why… but I think maybe we recognize humanity when we see it because, really, when you think about it, being human is the only thing we actually know. 

  • SO, I guess I’ve come to the conclusion that taking all of that away from Sock strips him down to a merely functional character, when I feel like he should be more than that.  And because I’m saying character is more important to me, then I suppose there’s no two ways about it, right?  I don’t know what might change in the future or what kind of situation I’ll find myself in… hopefully that’s not a decision that I’ll have to make.  But if it comes down to it, I’ll do everything in my power to keep Sock in tact.  The skirt stays.

I hope that helps!  This question was an unusually deep-thinker for me, and I tried my best to remain objective as well as sensitive.  So… thanks for giving my brain a run for its money!  I hope this novel-length answer will suffice, haha. 

Depth over distance pt. 3

[A/N:  Thank you all again for the awesome response! You’re making this silly clown very happy. This part isn’t very long but part 4 will be longer! Hope you enjoy!

A nod to the lovely storey-time :D

Emu’s who wanted to be tagged: facephase chicadificil bitchy-broken theblanknotebook youarethedickhead (Did you want to Ana?) nico-sexwizard (You too Kirstie?) maperlu  If anyone else would like to be tagged, let me know :)

If you want, listen to this song while you’re reading, it might set the mood for you.

Part 1 2 3 4


Finn Nelson: Hope you don’t think it’s too weird that I added you?

Rae Earl: No… it’s fine. You’re Archie and Chop’s mate right?

Finn Nelson: Aye, that’s me. And you’re Rae. The Scottish girl they met.

Rae Earl: That’s me! So they got back in one piece?

Finn Nelson: Yeah, Chop’s a constant flight risk, not sure how, but they’re back :)

Rae Earl: Haha, yes, and I only got a glimpse of that, but I’m glad they’re back :)

What is goin’ on right now? Why does he want to talk to meh? Just wait Rae… UGH I can’t! Yes you can! This is Finn Nelson from Stamford, England… Reply back…. I don’t have all day. Or my EXTREME curiosity doesn’t. It’s about to explode all over this screen!  Why is he taking so long? It’s been 2 bloody minutes! For fuck sake- oh he’s writing!!

Finn Nelson: Right… you must think this is weird? It’s just that… Arch said that you were…

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