i want a kiss mark tattoo on like, my shoulder or something but i need to get a gf first or else it’ll be sad, “look at that girl, she got a kiss tattoo cuz she can’t get a real one”. and obviously nobody would know that but *i* would know
I think we need to normalize the idea of marrying friends. I don’t mean in a “the best romantic relationships come from the best friendships” type way, though I do believe that’s true. I mean in a “I have zero romantic feelings for you, but I would totally spend the rest of my life committed to a future where you are my primary partner and maybe even raise a family together” type way.
Like, I don’t think it should be an aromantic-exclusive option, or a plan B when you and your best friend are still single at 40 and want to take yourselves out of the dating market.
I’ve heard it mostly as that backup plan, that “if I don’t find anyone, I’ll just marry Trish haha”, and I don’t think that’s even what I’m talking about normalizing. That’s a secondary outcome, seen as “giving up” on finding “real love”, and even if a pair of friends go for it, it’s plagued with this general feeling of “sub par”.
What I mean is that marrying a best friend (or having a committed intimate or emotional platonic relationship) should be seen as just as worth doing as marrying someone you’re in love with. It should be normal for teenagers to try as many committed friendships as they do romantic relationships. It should be normal for someone to say “this is my best friend and if everything works out, maybe we’ll move in together later” or “Trish and I have been roommates for two years now. We’re considering adopting soon, or Trish might carry a child!”
And as an aromantic person, it shouldn’t be strange for me to say “I prefer friendship to romance”. People should hear that and nod their heads like “that’s understandable. John feels the same.”
Hell, I see so many people expressing that they prefer their friends’ company to their romantic partner’s. “My friends understand me better and I think treat me better” and they’re expected to go home to this person, to marry and have kids with this person. It’s bizarre to me. Your platonic feelings for your friend aren’t inferior to your romantic feelings for your boyfriend, and if one of them treats you better than the other, I think you should probably rethink which one is your primary partner.
I also find it strange that it’s not more common in poly spaces for a friend to be considered a legitimate “partner”. In a world where friendships were just as likely to bloom into life partnerships as romantic relationships, I think polyamory would be much more commonplace. “I committed to Josephine about a year ago and now we own a home, but I fell in love with Joe about six months ago and we’re all trying to make it work.” Josephine shouldn’t have to worry about her partner leaving her for Joe just because their bond is romantic and therefore the “sensible” relationship to choose over the other.
I’m just ranting at this point, but I reiterate: committed friendships should not be seen as strange and “sad”, but as a legitimate option for a lifetime commitment. Not just for aromantics like myself, but for everyone. It should just be normal.
And not to be presumptuous, but I don’t think I’m alone in this thinking
i want to make a list of movies/books/etc where a major plot point is “mom helps daughter kill a man who hurt her, or at the very least helps her hide the body” but in general that is never what the actual plot is about, so it’s huge spoilers, which is ACTUALLY KINDA WEIRD now that i am thinking about it. with dad movies it’s the whole plot of the things, SOMEONE HURT HIS DAUGHTER AND NOW THEY’RE GONNA PAY
but i read a book once that was entirely about a girl going back to her hometown after twenty years and trying to reconcile with her mother after The Incident. then they finally reveal 80% of the way through the book that The Incident was that protag thought she’d killed her date rapist and had been scared to come back because she’d somehow made it twenty years without consequences, but actually she’d only seriously injured her date rapist. protag’s mom had found the guy while looking for her wayward daughter, realized what happened, and ran him over with her truck and buried the body under her garden. she never said anything because of Mom Code.
there was no indication at any point prior to this that this was a book about a murder. it was a heartwarming coming-of-age story about a woman entering her middle years learning to better understand her mother. that just happened to include covering up a murder. protag thought her mom was just an obsessive gardener.
ugh in the span of like 3 weeks I’ve progressed from listening to the full Hamilton soundtrack for the first time –> listening to the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat for 2 weeks straight and occasionally tearing up –> watching every video I can find on youtube of Leslie Odom Jr. singing and just full blown crying for a couple hours –> let’s just commit to the hamilton youtube rabbit hole and watch every clip I can find of the cast, doing literally anything
Daveed Diggs’s Tony acceptance speech is the latest thing to make me cry so I wanted to use him for some lineless digital painting practice
it looks way better zoomed in than as a whole, which is, like… literally the exact opposite…. of what you want…………………..