just because you can't see it doesn't make it any less real

Why Fans Resonate With Lance So Much and Why We’re Mad He’s a False Protagonist (spoilers I guess)

So Lance has pretty much been my favorite character since about ten seconds after he came on screen, and I’ll try to get right to the point about why I feel that way and why a giant portion of the vld fandom feels that way as well.

Obviously, Lance has been openly shown to have insecurities about his self-worth. I can’t really think of another character from a cartoon show (except maybe, like, Sokka from A;TLA) to have this plotline to this degree, but it’s a very unique and sensitive characterization that should be handled a little more carefully than it has been.

As a recap, Lance doesn’t really contribute much in the way of “hyper-specialized skills” to Voltron (aside from occasional shots of underused Sniper!Lance.) But next to him, we see 1). An ace pilot with special alien heritage and advanced hand-to-hand fighting skills who has been picked as the successor to the team’s leader 2). An Earth hero/veteran with a special prosthetic that gives him valuable fighting abilities, who pilots the oh-so-special Black Lion 3). An engineering genius 4). A tech/ex machina genius 5). A space princess with magical powers, fighting skills, and shapeshifting abilities who can ‘sense’ and ‘channel’ whatever whenever the plot needs her to.

And then, oh yeah, we’ve got…Lance. Who cracks goofy jokes. 

He’s NORMAL! And it SUCKS to feel ‘normal’ when everyone around you seems so effortlessly special!

I’ve struggled with that feeling my whole life—that habit of constantly measuring myself against others and obsessing over what I can “contribute”. For the longest time, I thought I was only as valuable as what I could bring to the table. So I was shocked and awed to see a character with that same affliction. It’s odd. I’ve never had a character I resonated so strongly with. I see myself in Lance so much.

Our own insecurities are validated and reflected through Lance’s character. It’s a real emotional issue that many of us struggle with, so to see it on the screen given representation means something.

ANYWAY—Onto why Lance is a false protagonist, and why I’m pissed about it. In fiction, a false protagonist is “a literary technique, often used to make the plot more jarring or more memorable by fooling the audience’s preconceptions, that constructs a character who the audience assumes is the protagonist but is later revealed not to be.”


Seriously, think about how books typically use their prologue+main story setup. We got our prologue (Shiro and the Holts being taken) and then it opens up to what the viewers assume is the start of the “Main Story” which typically follows the main character-to-be. This is a natural pattern to follow in storytelling because it helps the viewer understand and process what role each character plays overall. Lance is the first character we got a little bit of a read on with that whole “Blah blah remember you’re just a replacement for the dropout so don’t end up like him” Garrison test flight, so that’s another reason for the viewer to latch onto him. 

Watching Voltron for the first time knowing literally nothing about it going in, I knew there would be a team dynamic as episode one unfolded but thought that there would be special emphasis on Lance as the main character (think Aang from A;TLA. Yeah, there was a team of main characters, but Aang was THE main character if you get what I’m saying).

Seriously, go back and watch the first episode again if you didn’t notice it the first time. By a writing standpoint, Lance is written in the most “This will be the main character!” way possible. 

Which is why it’s so bizarre that he’s been pushed to the back-burner for so many seasons now. God, at this point, his back-burner isn’t even turned on anymore. He and Hunk are just the 3-day old pots of mac n’ cheese congealing by the sink while Shiro, Keith, and Pidge are lit up and ready to go at a moment’s notice, but at least Hunk’s Balmeran arc in season 1 spanned, like, 2 or 3 whole episodes when Lance is lucky to get anything beyond two minutes.

I’ve accepted that he’s not THE main character (I WAS starting to think it was Keith, but then he f’ed off for season 4 and I was like, no, Voltron, when we said we wanted less Keith we just meant we needed a better balance of characters not the entire removal of one) (and anyway how bad is it that even when Keith’s character is finally drawn back a little bit, WE STILL. GET. NO. LANCE (or Hunk). ARC.) 

Still, the dynamic from a writer’s standpoint is a little clunky. In my experience, stories are best told when they revolve around a singular main character, or two, like Gravity Falls for example. But things fall apart and get messy, especially in a television format, if you try to sell 5 main characters (six if you count Allura) as equally important (story-wise) right from the start. It just doesn’t work. It’s only natural to latch onto one or two characters and that’s why we keep getting these “Just wait, Lance will get his (3 second, never mentioned again or brought forward into a new season) moment!” promises. Good storytelling just doesn’t evolve well when you try to juggle five characters as all equally THE main character. And it ESPECIALLY feels super-clunky since Lance was introduced in episode one of the whole show as the potential main character and then used mostly for comic-relief ever since.

And when I say I want a Lance arc, I don’t mean “I want a Lance arc where Lance helps Keith learn to lead” or whatever—NO, GODDAMMIT. I WANT. AN ARC. FOCUSED SPECIFICALLY ON LANCE. NOT ON LANCE GROWING AS A SUPPORT FOR OTHER CHARACTERS’ GROWTH.

I was actually hoping that whole “Lance Dies in season 4!” worry going around would be true because 1). Lance obviously wouldn’t die for-real, so I wasn’t even worried about that 2). It would mean we would actually be getting what could have been a very emotional and quality Lance-focused story arc longer than three minutes.

I’m actually starting to think Lance isn’t going to get a story arc that spans across a few episodes that also remains the driving theme of those episodes. I think it will be another tossed-out line regarding his insecurity and that will be it.

I wanted Lance to be the Black Paladin so freaking bad, you guys! It would have been such a twist, such a moment for him to show off the leadership skills he’s been quietly accumulating. AND HOW ANGRY WAS I IN SEASON 4 WHEN LANCE LOGICALLY SAID “HM, MAYBE WE SHOULDN’T STAND UNDER THESE GENERATOR THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE THEY COULD FORM A FORCE FIELD AT ANY TIME” AND SHIRO BASICALLY SAID “WAIT HOLD ON, WE HAVE TO INVESTIGATE WHAT IT IS BY STANDING EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.” WTF. LANCE, WHY ARE YOU SO IGNORED.

Anyway, it’s late and I’m cranky and kind of forgot where I was going with this but I’m signing off, passively hoping that maybe Lance will one day get his huge “I’m Keith and I get whole seasons dedicated to me” arc. 

But it probably won’t happen.


I’m going back to bed.

anonymous asked:

I can't help but hate levi///han now that levi is a dick to hange and doesn't deserve her I read this theory that questiong thing from this month means they are not even friends anymore bcoz levi doesn't feel comfortable enough to call hange by the nickame he had for her anymore and that's sad and also makes me angry because hange is always so nice to him and levi is a douche

Eh, that’s not how I see it.

IMO him dropping that nickname means 1) he legitimately respects her new position and wants to place an emphasis on that by example (humanity’s strongest soldier respecting the new commander is a big deal), and 2) he’s actively trying not to be a dick by throwing out a nickname that is NO LONGER APPROPRIATE – not just due to her rank, but, you know, the fact that she’s lost/damaged/ruined one of her eyes, now. 

The situation that ruined her eye was extremely traumatic: it got her work assistant killed–not to mention all of her colleagues: people’s she’s known for years of her career. This includes Erwin, whose shoes she has to fill right away. I doubt she wants the reminder of that terrible day spat out of Levi’s mouth like it’s some kind of a funny joke when there’s very little chance of her being able to see it that way anymore. I know everyone thinks Hange would take it with a grain of salt and all that (cracking jokes galore), but she has feelings and again: the situation was very traumatic. You don’t see Levi cracking jokes about his traumatic experiences, do you?

Fandom conveniently forgets that Hange is a person who experiences human emotion because they’re desperate to keep the ship dynamic for levihan the same forever.

And look, until we got this information, I think interpreting Hange as the sort of person who wanted normalcy there to distract from the depressing and painful reality was believable and realistic.

But with this information it seems that’s not actually the case.

And that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay for your headcanons to be proven wrong on occasion.

And listen to me, here: people change. They grow, and it’s not always apart. Sometimes they grow together, especially after they’ve been through something rough. The fight in Shiganshina was a rough experience. 

Hange has been through a surprising lot, though she’s barely focused on during those chapters. Almost the entire military branch she works in was wiped out. She lost countless acquaintances and friends. Now she has to lead what’s left of it…and without an eye. I wish fandom would stop laughing it off like it’s a cute “fun” injury because it looks “cool.” It was probably highly traumatic and painful for her, not just in the moment, either. The fact that it took so long for her to get treatment might have even been the real reason she lost it. The eye loss is associated with all kinds of trauma, both physical and mental. She’s a soldier, she’s accepted that something like this could happen, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with; it doesn’t make any of her losses less painful.

So let’s talk about the responsibility that’s instantly clamped down on her shoulders after this, because Hange doesn’t even get a second to herself to just, you know, mourn or be sad. She’s the commander now. And while the SC might have sealed the wall(s), it was at a great price (and still under Erwin’s command almost entirely). Hange is going to have to fight for respect from pretty much everyone. Mission accomplished and all, but now that the walls are sealed, humanity is safe again lmao fuck the Survey Corps do we even need that branch anymore? Hange is going to have to present a case to save humanity and exterminate the titans and she’s going to need all the respect she can get to do that. She’s going to need more soldiers because <10 isn’t going to be enough. She’s going to need money and supplies and gear. I hate saying this, but it might not be something she’s capable of presenting on her own merit because she’s largely unknown by the people. (Her newspaper shenanigans help her case but only in that specific area.) However, humanity’s strongest soldier has pretty much all the respect from everyone in this world. If he has her back and is standing proudly at her side, it probably helps her case immensely. (He believes her, he believes in her, this isn’t some kind of a sick joke.)

I want to remind everyone, too, that when the newspapers start telling “the truth” of humanity’s situation, it’s like a 50/50 split? Lots of people think it’s bullshit. That doesn’t help Hange. Like I said: she needs all the respect and the backup she can get. Literally every ounce.

IMO, Levi dropping the nickname “shitty-glasses” was the best thing that could have happened to the ship. I know people think it means they’re not “equals” anymore, but everyone’s focusing on the wrong thing, here.

Up to this point in the manga we’ve seen Levi treat Hange more or less equally, but even in his attempts to comfort her he’s rough. He calls her by a rude nickname that we’re never sure is supposed to be endearing or not. For all we know, he means it in the way a coworker might call the fat guy in the group “porkchop” or other kids might be mean to a classmate by calling them “four-eyes.” Speculation and headcanons aside, canon hasn’t ever really given us a clear idea of what that nickname meant to Levi, let alone to Hange. She lets him call her it, but that doesn’t tell us much. For all we ever knew, she was used to being treated poorly by her peers.

However, with this new information, it sounds much more like the nickname “shitty-glasses” was, coming from Levi, an awkwardly endearing nickname–one he meant no harm with.

And we see that because he drops it. He goes out of his way to consciously stop a habit of his that would seem disrespectful to other people regardless of what it originally meant between them. Levi respects Hange and this is how he shows it. That’s a big deal.

I’d also like to point out, again, that it’s very likely he does this out of more than just respect for his commanding officer. Levi is hardly one to follow conventions, after all.

Hange is his friend. He cares about her safety and we’ve seen this (beneath the chapel). We’ve also seen him clumsily care about the place she’s in mentally (post-Nick’s death). I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he cares about her feelings, too. And if this nickname drudges up emotional backlash and trauma for her, then by dropping it he’s showing that he cares about her and respects her as his friend.

“Darkiplier VS Antisepticeye” is Mark’s Effort to Take Back Control From Dark: A Theory

(Disclaimer: I know nothing about any of Jack’s egos, so this is entirely about Mark’s. Disclaimer 2, Electric Boogaloo: I had my Frosted Mini Wheats like two hours late today, and that threw off my groove, so I’m sorry if I’m less eloquent than usual. Disclaimer III- This Time, It’s Personal: The only reason this isn’t under a read more is because someone told me to do that last time, but they weren’t very nice about it, so now I’m being petty. I’m sorry for being the worst. I still love you guys, though.)

In my last theory, we discussed the possibility that Dark is trying to take back control through more subtle means this time, and that he has a plan that we didn’t get to see during Markiplier TV. He’s been slowly giving hints of his existence in videos, teasing just enough to get people talking. He hasn’t revealed himself outright in any videos since Markiplier TV; he hasn’t denied being in them, either. 

Remember this interaction between @markiplier and @hufflepufftrax?

Mark quickly dispels rumors about Darkiplier when they’re not true. Why, then, would he not clear the air during the chaos of World’s Quietest Let’s Play 4, or any other video that has stirred up the community a great deal more than this photo ever did? The logical train of thought, then, is that these really were Dark appearances and we are supposed to know it. So, if Dark has been going about this so carefully all along, why would he reveal himself by sharing the spotlight in a comedy sketch? The short answer is that he wouldn’t. The reality is… say it with me now… it’s just Mark impersonating Dark!

Yeah, I know, no shock there. You’ve been hearing that since the video dropped. I talked about it when answering an ask, which I’m screenshotting and dropping below for your convenience, because I’m just a nice gal like that.

So now we have to ask, why would Mark do this? If Dark really is starting to take back control, this would be a dangerous time to pull a stunt like this, wouldn’t it? Well, it makes sense when you consider the fact that Mark has all but run out of options. 

Every time Dark is hinted at, the community goes wild. It doesn’t matter how subtle the hint may be- if the lights in the background of a video are red and blue, someone will point it out. Someone will draw him. Someone will get excited. And then, over time, everyone will get excited. 

Even if Mark tried to warn us, it only fueled the fire. Reaching out for help, trying to tell us that Dark is here– it is exactly what Dark wants. So Mark now has to try a different tactic. The only way that Dark can lose at this point is if he loses his allure to the viewers, and the only way to do that is to use his own method against him: Dark is pretending to be Mark, and now Mark is pretending to be Dark in order to discredit him. More specifically, he’s trying to get Dark out of the way, impersonate him, and make a fool out of him. That sounds… familiar, doesn’t it? Have we heard that somewhere before?

What if I change up the tense a little and word it a bit more like this?

“Pushed aside. Replaced. Mocked.”

Originally posted by rubies-and-oaktrees

That rings a few more bells, doesn’t it?

When we put all of these things together, a picture starts to form: Mark kept Dark at bay for years by making him a joke, but then he made the mistake of letting down his guard. Letting him back in. Now, Mark is fighting back using the only method that he has ever known to work. Why wouldn’t it this time? Making silly edits, taking over Mark’s twitter with edgy, emo poetry… it was enough to dissuade the community last time. So what could make it fail now? How could humor no longer be sufficient to drive Dark away?

The key difference this time is that Dark is not simply a wisp of a presence like he was years ago. He can’t be laughed off anymore. He is here. He is real. He is powerful. He does not like to be mocked, and this action from Mark will most definitely have consequences.

And the blame for that, really, falls on all of us. As Mark said all those years ago, we made Dark real.  Back then, he had to resort to humor to keep Dark at bay, because none of us would listen to him when he warned us. Now, history’s repeating itself,  but the outcome isn’t so sure this time. We learned nothing in the process. Now Dark has become too strong, because we, the viewers, keep letting him back in. Mark tries to tell us that Dark is here and we are thrilled about it.

So, really, the question isn’t, “Why would Mark do this?”

The question is, 

Why didn’t we listen?

What went down in Dislocoeur
  • Ms. Bustier: in many fairy tales the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess, can anyone tell me why?
  • Ms. Bustier: that's not really an answer
  • Max: technically this only applies to 87% of fairy tales
  • Ms. Bustier: there's no way that number is correct
  • Ms. Bustier: maybe like 7% or 8% at most
  • Ms. Bustier: yes Rose we got that
  • Ms. Bustier: who are you even talking to
  • Ms. Bustier: are you saying that in the imperative
  • Rose: pls do the smoochy thing :( #ladynoir
  • Adrien: well I just wrote this poem time to toss it in the garbage with the rest of the fandom
  • Marinette: hmm I wonder what that hot guy threw in the trash
  • Marinette: ooh it's a poem!
  • Marinette: "roses are red, violets are violet, poetry is f**king hard, do the smoochy thing pls"
  • Chloé: hmm why is Marinette looking through the garbage
  • Sabrina: did you know there's an entire fandom in there?
  • Chloé: wow she must be really desperate
  • Max: kk Kim it's time for you to run along this route and meet your crush on a bridge
  • Kim: why is her route so convoluted
  • Max: idk but if you meet her on that particular bridge and give her this particular jewel you've got a 87% chance of success
  • Kim: there's no way that number is correct
  • Kim: maybe like 7% or 8% at most
  • Marinette: I say go for it!
  • Kim: kk, running now
  • Marinette: now imma write a poem to Adrien
  • Chloé: and imma break the hearts of a buncha tweens
  • Chloé: hey tweens! you see how fabulous I am? well I'm never gonna date you
  • Chloé: do you see what you're missing out on
  • Chloé: well that was fun anyway I hope one of you gets akumatized now
  • Chloé: b**ch I'm out
  • Kim: *goes to bridge*
  • Kim: this is the Pont des Arts, right?
  • Kim: so where did all the locks go
  • Kim: it's just panes of plexiglass
  • Kim: this is way less romantic now
  • Chloé: hey Kim
  • Kim: hey Chloé lemme smash
  • Chloé: are you for real
  • Kim: I got you blue AND yellow
  • Chloé: you're as pathetic as that meme
  • Kim: she doesn't want blue and yellow
  • Chloé: look I've got a buncha tweens clamoring after me now
  • Chloé: so you're like fourth in line at best
  • Chloé: BYE
  • Kim: what has my life come to
  • Hawkmoth: wow this is even more sad than usual
  • Hawkmoth: like, I actually feel really sorry for you
  • Hawkmoth: so here have an incredibly cool transformation
  • Dislocoeur: now we're talkin
  • Dislocoeur: I've got a bow and arrows!
  • Dislocoeur: pew pew pew!
  • Marinette: and now it's POETRY TIME
  • Alya: whaddaya got
  • Marinette: "roses are nerds, poems are easy, lemme smash pls bc I think you're hot"
  • Alya: wot
  • Marinette: wow romance really isn't all that great when you're honest about it
  • Alya: wow and here I didn't think you'd ever have enough experience with romance to figure that out
  • Marinette: ooh sweet burn
  • Marinette: btw that flying guy just shot you with an arrow
  • Alya: yeah that's where the sweet burn came from
  • Alya: and now I'm suddenly tempted to go confront Nino in a rap battle
  • Marinette: YES DO IT
  • Marinette: ok Tikki let's kick that flying guy's butt
  • Dislocoeur: hey it's Ladybug!
  • Marinette: no not yet
  • Dislocoeur: oops sorry
  • Marinette: Tikki, spots on!
  • Dislocoeur: there we go!
  • Ladybug: welp running away now
  • Dislocoeur: pew pew pew!
  • Chat Noir: hey Ladybug I've got a confession to make
  • Ladybug: look I already know you love me ok?
  • Ladybug: please don't endanger us by confessing what's already incredibly obvious when there's a supervillain trying to shoot us
  • Dislocoeur: *shoots Chat Noir*
  • Ladybug: that one's on him
  • Dislocoeur: yeah kinda
  • Chat Noir: now imma kill you
  • Ladybug: why
  • Chat Noir: because hate always wins
  • Ladybug: citation needed
  • Chat Noir: citation: the US election
  • Ladybug: ok fair point
  • Chat Noir: you just accepted anecdotal evidence as proof of a general claim
  • Ladybug: oops you're right
  • Chat Noir: now prepare to die
  • Dislocoeur: *tracks down Chloé*
  • Chloé: wow and here I thought you couldn't get any more ridiculous
  • Dislocoeur: imma shoot you now
  • Chloé: and give me the ability to make even sweeter burns than usual?
  • Dislocoeur: wait nvm that's a terrible idea
  • Chloé: wow even as a villain you can't succeed in anything
  • Dislocoeur: hey Hawkmoth can you Tier 2 akumatize me?
  • Hawkmoth: sorry buddy you're on your own
  • Ladybug: I gotta figure out how to dehateify Chat Noir!
  • Brain ghost Ms. Bustier: the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess
  • Brain ghost Rose: DO THE SMOOCHY THING
  • Ladybug: disclaimer—the following kiss is intended solely as a means of counteracting Dislocoeur's akuma-granted ability, and should not be interpreted in any romantic or otherwise non-platonic context
  • Ladybug and Chat Noir: *do the smoochy thing*
  • Chat Noir: I don't remember any of that
  • Ladybug: good now end that f**ker
  • Chat Noir: *ends that f**ker*
  • Ladybug: well I guess we're done here
||Part of this really happened, though I improvised a bit.||
  • Person who has only seen Durarara!! Anime and admits to being too lazy to read novels: Why would anybody like this guy? *posts gif where Izaya is saying*"People are my playthings."
  • Me: There are reasons I like Izaya: For one, he's intelligent, charming, cunning, has class, cares for and values his friendship with Shinra in his own way even though he has trouble with empathy(something I relate to), and despite everything, he's just a human even though he's able to bring down an entire organization like Amphisbaena. Not to mention I'm pretty sure he's jealous of practically everybody he comes into contact with. Shizuo, Mikado, Shinra, even Celty.
  • Me: He punches a telephone pole upon realizing he'd be betraying his only friend by normal human standards.
  • Me: And he was neglected by his parents emotionally. That's a very typical cause of personality disorders, just so you know. It's not entirely his fault that he is the way he is. Just saying. But I enjoyed watching him outsmart Amphisbaena. And I really like reading the novels for his philosophical views. Plus, he's kind of agnostic and fears death more than anything, something I can relate to.
  • Me: Haha his hand was literally swollen up because of slamming it into the telephone pole. But you know what happened when his sisters expressed concern for his hand?
  • This-
  • Mairu tilted her head and asked as she saw his right hand, “What happened, Iza-nii? Your right hand looks swollen.”
  • “...Health (Are you alright)?” Kururi looked at him with worried eyes.
  • Izaya stroked her head with his left hand and lied with a sigh, “Yeah, I got this when I was running away from Shizu-chan.”
  • “So you deserved it after all—”
  • “Keep yourselves away from muscle idiots like that one. Or you could die, you know.”
  • The siblings continued their conversation as they disappeared into the city night. The city, which took in everything it was offered, absorbed their talk into its nightly cacophony as it did any chit-chat within any normal family.
  • -
  • That was from the ninth Durarara!! Light novel.
  • But what was even sadder was the scene before that -
  • The twins flanked Izaya as he began walking, a bitter smile on his face. Mairu, who was on Izaya’s right, raised her face to look at him and said in a natural tone, “Say, Iza-nii. We know that you probably don’t treat us any differently as you treat other people, but keep in mind that we still think of you as family, OK?”
  • “All of a sudden you’re saying things that would actually make me happy. What happened?” Izaya felt that the line didn’t sound like Mairu, who usually told him to “Die!” and highkicked him when she saw him. He glanced at his sisters’ faces—and saw that they were smiling innocently back at him as they continued.
  • “So, if you get killed by Shizuo-san, Iza-nii, we’ll make sure to cry a little bit for you before we laugh about it.”
  • “Small (Just a little)...”
  • “...I was a fool to expect any family love from you.”
  • Izaya chuckled and walked faster.
  • - Also from LN 9, I have no clue why it wasn't in the novels. It really should have been. Especially the scene where he actually punched the telephone pole. But another reason I like Izaya is because not only is Izaya changing, but Narita himself said, "I have a feeling there was a scene where he cried, but he didn't let the readers see."
  • Somebody else: There are many reasons that make me like Izaya Orihara, like his fascinating personality, but that doesn't mean I think of him as a good man ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯ I love it anyway
  • Person who has only seen the Durarara!! anime:
  • *throws in lame ass argument about what 'bad' things Izaya has done, without arguing, even though the argument could go both ways, considering he did take down Amphisbaena, and took Jinnai Yodogiri's corporation, giving Kasane Kujiragi back her freedom.*
  • Me: He's neither good nor bad. Most people can't be classified as either. We're all selfish in our own ways, and have a dark nature down deep that makes us want to test people at points. But without proper nurturing that can become harmful by nature, and it can consume us.
  • Somebody else number 2: The funny thing is that most people fail to recognize that they are of equal good/bad scale to Izaya without realizing it. It's only because Izaya is presented as an antagonist going against the common societal view that he is seen as a villain. Anyone that stands out against what is accepted is seen as bad because that is what we are taught at a young age to believe.
  • So saying that you hate Izaya because he is evil or bad is playing into those accepted, ingrained, and common beliefs.
  • Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime:
  • I don't have to like Izaya. I don't agree with you, and I don't want to argue about this. Izaya is pretty terrible. He started a whole war for fun, and told a girl to commit suicide. Any Shinra was just assuming when he said that Izaya has a fragile heart. Shinra is just some underground doctor(me: that doesn't know what he's talking about)?
  • Me: You don't have to like him, but you can't just deny canon. First off, he didn't want to start the war entirely for fun. He's an atheist/agnostic, and is terrified of death more than anything. The novels outright called Shinra, "his friend, the first person to see through Izaya to his true nature.". And Shinra described Izaya's 'true nature' as being more human and his heart more fragile than anybody else. Nextly, Shinra isn't 'just' some ignorant doctor. He has the potential to be the most manipulative character on the show if he really wanted to, and he's not ignorant. He's actually fairly insightful and observant, even when others aren't even though he ignores them because he only cares about Celty. Even Tom seemed weary of Shinra, implied by the novels.
  • Somebody else 4: Whether you like Izaya or not doesn't matter, because it's not just interpretation, it's canon, so in other words, you're just ignoring facts to justify your hatred for him.
  • Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime:
  • I mean he could made different choices and it could have turned out better.
  • Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime: I think Izaya's the worst one because he started the war.
  • Me: The same could be said for pretty much every single one of the characters, who all have done some pretty bad things, and crossed over things Izaya never would. *points out Shizuo's non justification for his hair trigger and how if it weren't for Simon, Shizuo could have killed somebody. Points out Ran's joking about raping both Saki and Mikage, as well as his abuse towards his brother, not to mention what he did and threatened to Saki(though he is jealous of the love Aoba receives from his parents, and the natural leader role Kyouhei has), points out Anri's hypocrisy in siding with Saika just because she saved her, points out Masaomi's cowardice(even though he has his really good moments), points out how Izaya saved Saki and multiple other girls from abusive situations, and especially Kuon's sister's experience with Izaya and how they can't properly seem to live without Izaya, points out the fact that, in reality, Mikado stabbed Aoba because he wanted to fulfill his ego, as well as the fact that he shot off a gun and caused a spark in the Awakusu-kai, points out some of the things Namie and Seiji did, not to mention Shinra's manipulative nature. Above all, points out all the trouble Nasujima caused and the terrible things he did(to Haruna and her family especially), as well as Jinnai Yadogiri sending Vorona(serial killer for fun at first, likely because of neglect) and Sloan to kidnap a child and do who knows what with her, considering all that Jinnai did to Ruri(also serial killer, but less for fun and more for revenge to get back at those who killed her parents)(not to mention Jinnai doing experimentation on her), though killing still starts to consume her because she feels freedom by doing so), Adabashi beating Shinra to a bloody pulp(though not apparently as bad as Shizuo has supposedly done to Shinra in the past, according to Shinra himself)(after which Izaya had Izumii break Adabashi's leg broke and kept him in his apartment for three days until he managed to escape.)* I'm not going to even go into Shizuo beating up a guy for simply questioning the purpose of life and telling him to go die, or the things Vorona, Shinra, Walker, Erika, Aoba, Rokujo, even Celty,(probably)Simon, and many others have done. Because every character has flaws and weaknesses that make them human. Minus Takashi and Jinnai Yadogiri, everybody has a least one person they have an attachment to of some sort and can feel a little closer to than others, even if they won't admit it, mostly everybody has unhealthy obsessions, Izaya nonetheless. But most everybody is changing, Izaya has even took the huge step of NOT calling Shizuo a monster, and instead admitting that Shizuo is just a man that distanced himself from humans. If that alone is not an improvement for him, I don't know what is.
  • Person who has only seen the Durarara!! anime: *obviously didn't read much of anything* Eh, Izaya's not good, and I just can't find it in myself to like him. If he were a real person, I might sympathize with him a little bit, because he could find help, but he's just a character, and there's no real justification for why he is the way he is.
  • Other person who has only seen the Durarara!! anime:
  • The anime is made for you to interpret Izaya however you want.
  • Somebody else number 4: This is why people need to read the novels. There is more to Izaya than what is portrayed in the anime.
  • Me: Plus, both the anime and manga is there to promote the original sources, so, naturally, they are going to leave out stuff, because they want you to read novels.
  • Somebody else number 5: Izaya isn't evil. He's not a sociopath. He's not a psychopath. He's not a troll. He is indeed only human and only wants a little more in his life than sitting on a bed and binge watch anime. There's so many reasons to like him <3
  • Me: While sociopath can be a generic term used for people with delayed or limited empathy(due to trauma)(unlike psychopaths, who are just born that way), as far as I know, sociopathy can still be detected in brain scans, because their brain still works and is wired very similarly to a psychopath. Either way, I honestly don't believe Izaya is either. I believe that he's just a human with a normal brain like both of his brain scans suggested.
  • Somebody else number 6: I honestly love hate him, but mostly I hate him, but I gotta admit he's a hot bastard.
  • Me: You're kind of missing the point, but whatever. He, just like anybody, has a side to him one can hate, but he also has a side to him that makes him a very complex character. The way he views things are so fascinating and he really opened my eyes to certain things. I can relate to his philosophy, I can empathize with his feelings about humans, and especially his hatred/jealous of Shizuo(having grown up with a brother that acts much like him, just to a less extreme, not mention I've experienced some domestic abuse, so I don't just like him for his looks alone(even if he is pretty good looking. Like I said, he's charming, cunning, shrewd but with class, is kind of funny at times, has views on society that I personally understand, is jealous of a lot of people for various reasons which I can also relate to. Despite being a mere human, he uses his wits to get out of dangerous situations, and to take down corporations like Amphisbaena and Jinnai Yadogiri. He has a an amazing ability to turn the tables when one least expects it, and wonderful flexibility as well. Unlike Shizuo, who has super strength, or Mikado who has close confidants he can truly rely on, or Celty, who can use her shadows and many others, Izaya is just a human(though he's jealous of every one of them, not forgetting Shinra, and doesn't actually want to be acknowledged as himself.)
  • He's an incredibly written character in the novels, but ultimately one I can relate to in certain aspects, including the feeling of loneliness, and feeling fear at the one he called his '(only)best friend' being mad at him. It honestly frustrates me when people bash him, or ignore the things that make him who he really is.
  • Izaya isn't a sadist, he just wants answers. And he's an emotional masochist at it's finest, possibly a chaotic neutral, and both an Anti-Villain and Anti-hero(though maybe a little more on the Anti-villain side at times). Also, lastly Izaya didn't "convince girls to commit suicide". In reality, he saved them in the novels(even if it wasn't really his intentions.) Ryo didn't happen. Izaya didn't cause the blood splatter. Because Manami and the other girl were the last two he messed with, and it clearly said that nobody he met up had actually went through with it in the end.
  • Person who has only seen Durarara!! anime:
  • *has already abandoned conversation*
  • -Please also check MOON & DOMINANT-
  • Aries: just because you talk loud doesn't mean you're right.
  • You are very aggressive and stubborn but you can't even make a valid point.
  • Please stop acting like you "just attract drama" and "can't help it"
  • Because you create the drama and like attention ffs just be honest
  • Taurus: You are so fucking stubborn.
  • To be honest it's a pain in the ass, please learn to act less like a brat and accept that you can't be right every time.
  • Also stop acting like you are a saint, because that act doesn't really work for you.
  • Gemini: oh my lord. Fucking hypocrites, like I can't even.
  • For example; You'll get mad when someone talks shit about you
  • But when you talk shit about them it's ok?
  • You aren't God jfc, get over yourself
  • Also control your mood swings, you're confusing as fuck and that's why no one gets you
  • So fix that and stop complaining about how you and your feelings are being "misunderstood"
  • Cancer: So so so so sensitive,
  • Like it's one of your best traits but also your worst
  • You cry about everything and you always act like you're the victim.
  • Maybe it works when you're 5 but when you're all grown up people will just see you as childish and immature.
  • Playing the victim won't help you in the real world.
  • Leo: hm i don't even know where to start, you are soooo full of yourself
  • You make friends to stay relevant and when you're done with them you just drop them.
  • You are kinda loud just like Aries.
  • you'll tell someone they are pretty and as soon as they turn around you'll just make fun of them
  • Virgo: you guys always want to be in control of all kinds of projects.
  • You like to have everything clean, neat and figured out.
  • You'll boil up your irritations when someone doesn't do something your way or "the right way" and then just explode and complain about everything
  • It isn't healthy and you come off as rude and unthankful.
  • Libra: You can be so two faced, honestly you're everything that the gemini gets hated for, and most people don't even realise it.
  • You act like you're so holy but talk mad shit and create soooo much drama, but somehow manage to stay out of it?
  • Scorpio: You have terrible mood swings.
  • And it's because you act tougher than you are, but you can't keep up the facade
  • You'll act all strong and shit and like you don't have any feelings.
  • But when you're all alone you could cry yourself to sleep.
  • The most sensitive of all the signs
  • Please stop hiding it because this whole tough and no emotions act makes you look unapproachable, nobody wants to be friends with some mechanic robot with unbreakable walls around them
  • Sagittarius: You are really what people say.
  • You just don't give a single shit about anyone's feelings except your own.
  • You'll pick out someone and make them love you because it's just for "fun", but as soon as they'll say the 3 words you just flee and go onto the next one.
  • You can drop the important people in your life without a single second of doubt, you're so impulsive
  • Watch out because you'll regret it
  • Capricorn: cold shits, you are almost incapable of loving.
  • You don't focus on the people around you, people are here for you
  • And all you do is put them aside to do the things that you want.
  • Every step you take is to reach another and higher destination.
  • But one day all of that will fade away and you'll be all alone because you ignored the ones that loved you and pushed them aside
  • Aquarius: You want to be unique so fucking bad.
  • No one is allowed to do something you do or steal something you already did.
  • Everyone else is boring and not good enough and basic.
  • You cut people off as soon as they say or do anything unoriginal.
  • You look down on people and it's not attractiv, stop it please you aren't God
  • Pisces: Every sweet thing you do is fake.
  • It's just to make people feel bad for you as soon as you fuck up (and you fuck up a lot)
  • As soon as someone gets mad at you you'll curl up into a little ball and act like they're the bad guy
  • They hurt you, you did all those things for them.
  • You're the type to make people feel bad for you being an asshole
  • stop being sweet to people without really caring about the
  • -
  • -
  • -and as always reblog for more
Make Happy Starter Pack
  • Mix of comedy, deep stuff, out of context stuff, and potentially NSFW-ish sentences.
  • "Ladies if you feel me, say hell yeah!"
  • "Fellas if you feel me, say hell yeah!"
  • "Virgins, if you haven't felt a person, say hell yeah!"
  • "If you like drinking booze, let me hear you say hell yeah!"
  • "If you like smoking weed, let me hear you say hell yeah!"
  • "I can't wrap my mind around exactly why I'm here."
  • "I know you paid money."
  • "I should be funny."
  • "Look at the world. I don't know why I'm here."
  • "I would love to tell you that everything is fine."
  • "You wanna be happy... Well, get in line!"
  • "It gets old after a few minutes."
  • "Let's get this show started."
  • "I already fucked it up."
  • "Haters gonna hate. Lovers gonna love."
  • "You have to reject both sides of the spectrum to leave a healthy middle."
  • "Stop participating."
  • "Not a participatory thing going on up here."
  • "Did you not think I was gonna use this, idiot(s)?"
  • "It's not a prop."
  • "I've got a lot of problems in my life."
  • "I got no one to talk to."
  • "There's everyone and then there is just me."
  • "If I could change, don't you think that I'd do it?"
  • "God only knows, why he cursed me to be ________/(a straight white man)"
  • "I state my problems, other people roll their eyes."
  • "Three trips to the mall, zero _______ in my size."
  • "I've never been the victim of a random search for drugs."
  • "You can't say my life is easy."
  • "I know the road looks though ahead."
  • "Can't you just leave us alone?"
  • "Also, 'no' to the things you asked for."
  • "They are being greedy and they know it."
  • "Everyone thinks that I got it easy."
  • "Just because it's true, doesn't mean that it's right."
  • "So pull up a chair and put down your pitchforks."
  • "We still do, but it's not as fun now."
  • "If you were offended by that, it was ironic."
  • "Isn't that fun?"
  • "I meant the whole opposite of it."
  • "White guys... it's easy to be a white guy."
  • "We deserve a cheer once in a while."
  • "We invented a lot of stuff."
  • "Everything but peanut butter."
  • "Your grandkids are going to see this."
  • "Put the lights down."
  • "Their faces creep me out."
  • "I'm not perfect, ok?"
  • "Twice in a week? What is this?"
  • "Do you want to sing a song with me?"
  • "Hey, _____, guess what?"
  • "You're a (insert insult here)."
  • "So I was interrupted the other day-"
  • "Can you turn the lights off at least?"
  • "Why was it on a record player?"
  • "It's gonna outlive me."
  • "Do not give those dumb fucks any credit."
  • "It's all me baby, all me."
  • "How dare you make that joke so late!"
  • "I like poetry."
  • "Do not veer credit to people outside this building!"
  • "Two examples is enough."
  • "I'm right in the sweet spot."
  • "I could give that money to a homless person. But I don't do that very often."
  • "Tomorrow is a relative term. We're not getting there."
  • "You don't know where I'm going, so don't act like it."
  • "You're not ahead of me."
  • "I will retain the element of surprise."
  • "I'm trying to break out of that."
  • "This might not work."
  • "________, I heard you had sex with an older woman last night?"
  • "How does he do it?"
  • "I'm not honest for a second up here."
  • "I think country music gets a bad rep."
  • "A dirt road, a cold beer, blue jeans, a red pick-up."
  • "No shoes, no shirt."
  • "Sort of a mental typo."
  • "I could sing in mandarin."
  • "I own a private ranch that I rarely use. I don't like dirt."
  • "Now it's time to talk to the ladies."
  • "Good girl in a straw head."
  • "Thought it was a human woman."
  • "That is a scarecrow."
  • "I'm wanting you. I hope you're feeling me."
  • "You don't know what land you're in...?"
  • "They are lying to you, that's all."
  • "You deserve better."
  • "I'm not saying I'm it, but I'm the person that says you deserve better."
  • "It's the end of culture."
  • "We lost."
  • "How is this entertainment?"
  • "I saw a gorgeous dick. I was in a public restroom."
  • "You're not picturing this."
  • "I need to earn it."
  • "You need to earn it."
  • "There's more where that came from."
  • "Ladies, I know where that came from."
  • "You want a guy that's sweet."
  • "This ugy only exists in your mind."
  • "Guess what? You're right."
  • "If you want love, lower your expectations a few."
  • "Prince Charming would never settle for you."
  • "Just pick a guy and love him."
  • "Just pick a girl and love him."
  • "You wan't a girl that is noce, a girl that is not."
  • "A real girl, a hot girl, a really hot girl!"
  • "She's real, but last week she died."
  • "You might think you dick is a gift, I promise it's not."
  • "I won't settle for less than perfect."
  • "Deep down we know we don't deserve it."
  • "We all deserve love."
  • "We all suck, but love can make us suck less."
  • "It's the very best part of being alive."
  • "Original does not mean good."
  • "Anyone can do anything."
  • "What is it good for?"
  • "I don't want to get political..."
  • "They just liked the lights, I didn't even need to do jokes."
  • "Yeah, you like that?"
  • "Honey are you ok?"
  • "Are you drunk?"
  • "What's behind your back?"
  • "It's a jar of peanut butter. Alright? Sue me."
  • "Why are you holding a jar of mayonnaise."
  • "I'll clean it up."
  • "You'll make it worse if you try it."
  • "Who are you talking to?"
  • "You just gestured to the sink."
  • "I bought something."
  • "Sit in silence."
  • "Nothing tastes better than not getting sued."
  • "You don't want that desperate sort of cloying thing."
  • "I'm just overpaid, ok?"
  • "I sound mean and rude."
  • "Let a professional hear it."
  • "Stick your tongue in a plug."
  • "Hold your breath until it's gone."
  • "Take your pants off!"
  • "You think it's ok because I'm a dude?"
  • "You think it's ok because he is a dude?"
  • "It's over."
  • "We shouldn't fight to stay together just to fight again."
  • "We need to take a break from us to make it right again."
  • "Honestly are you fucking five?"
  • "I've got my father's temper. I'm emotionally inarticulate."
  • "I'm hurting inside, I'm trying to hide it."
  • "I thought you were lashing out in anger."
  • "I deserve better than you."
  • "Sorry, you're not what I need."
  • "What am I talking about, you know?"
  • "It's about... but for real, what is it about?"
  • "No one gives a shit about what we think!"
  • "The arrogant is taught."
  • "It's prison. It's horrific"
  • "I know very little about anything."
  • "He talked about his problems."
  • "I thought... maybe I could do this."
  • "Can I say my shit, _______?"
  • "I got lots of shit to say."
  • "I can't fit my hand insdie a pringle can."
  • "It's way too small."
  • "You think you can. I know you can't"
  • "Just... make them wider?"
  • "I wanna have a daughter."
  • "But that is priority numero uno."
  • "I don't go to the gym 'cause I'm self concious about my body."
  • "I'm self concious about my body because I don't go to the gym."
  • "Irony can be so painful."
  • "Dude, you should have warned me."
  • "No one wants to have a messx burrito."
  • "I wouldn't have gotten the _______ if I knew it wouldn't fit."
  • "I wouldn't have got half of it."
  • "I'm ok with small mistakes."
  • "I don't think that I can handle this right now."
  • "I can sit here an pretend that my biggest problems are pringle cans and burritos."
  • "The truth is my biggest problem is you."
  • "I want to please you but stay true to myself."
  • "Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of you needs you, part of me fears you."
  • "I should probably just shut up."
  • "You can tell them anything."
  • ""I hope you're happy."
  • "Oh, good, it's just us."
  • "If you hated it, it's fair."
  • "On a scale of one to zero, ________?"
  • "Are you happy?"
  • "But what the fuck kind of question is 'are you happy'?"
  • "Oh god, my dad was right."
  • "You're everything you hated. Are you happy?"
  • "Hey, look, Mom, I made it! Are you happy?"
Fandoms explained
  • Sherlock: Three wonderful episodes followed by a terrible ending but the next episode makes it better with an explanation that can range from simple to extremely complex. The incredibly long hiatus has driven the fandom insane. Very good at noticing things. One fangirl could probably list 389 reasons why it is factual that John and Sherlock are gay for each other. (Though anyone outside the fandom could look at those too and know they're gay for each other.) Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom.
  • Doctor Who: You know the doctor and most of the companions will have endings that make you want to stab yourself in the neck to end your pain but every once in a while you get an awesome episode where everyone lives. You're willing to go through millions of feels episodes to get to the awesome ones. (Though the feels ones are awesome too but you're kinda too busy crying to notice). Lots of opinions on who's the best this or that. Never apply logic to who. Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom.
  • Harry Potter: You most likely grew up with Harry Potter. The first movies might be a little scary but they end happily, but as it progresses it gets darker and darker and even though you know it's coming if its the second time around you get punched in the face with feels at the end when people die and at the very end when you realize that it's over (until you watch/read it again). But you keep going because you feel an obligation to stick with Harry until the very end. Most likely has the most fanfiction that excludes shipping and is basically 'everyone lives AU'. It would be doctor who, but the timeline is too...wibbly. For a while the fandom seemed dead, but them we got news of a new movie written directly by JK Rowling. The fandom likes sorting people into houses, and multifandom people sort characters from other things. Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom. (Which includes very few people.)
  • Supernatural: The weirdest combination of feels and hilarity. Progressively gets funnier and sadder as time goes on. It's hard to determine whether the feels or hilarity outweigh one another. Lots of people die, especially the ones we like. Somehow the power of the fandom brings lots of people back to life. They can accomplish almost anything. They have a gif for everything. Lots of people say 'that can't be a real line from the show!!!' it is. Many people are mistaken for satanists when they talk about it in public. Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom.
  • The Hunger Games: It's sad. Realistic, but sad. Good for people who like adventure, dystopian worlds, and slow torture. Make it about the love triangle and someone will hurt you saying 'its not about gale or peeta!' even though most of the fandom is split perfectly down the line of peeta or gale. This fandom kinda stays in the background. Watching. Judging. Like Primrose's cat Buttercup, some wonder how they're alive, especially after Mockingjay. Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom.
  • Avengers/Marvel/DC: You have sad back stories, I'll admit, but it almost always ends in happiness. The bad things almost always ends up happening only to bad guys. Of course, they sometimes make us like the bad guy more than the protagonist. Still, lots of sarcasm and hot guys. The fandom is good at analyzation, and uses it to rip everyone else's hearts out, but they make good memes. We aren't sure it was the fandoms doing entirely, but Phil Coulson was resurrected. Stick around for the extra credit scene. And the extra extra credit scene. Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom.
  • Divergent, The Mortal Instruments, & Beautiful Creatures: Newer to the fandoms, but just as crazy, no doubt. They all have plot twists (though some of them were pretty predictable). Like most book series, they get more painful as time goes on. They have similarities with other fandoms, but they are their own works. Say they are the new _______ and you will probably be slapped. They use lots of odd words that make it difficult to explain to people outside the fandoms.
  • Merlin: Similar to supernatural, but more pain and less hilarity. But, hey, what else do you expect from BBC? They cancelled the series on Christmas, and everyone's upset about it. Rightfully so. Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom.
  • Hannibal: Very polite fandom. If you are impolite to them they will kill and eat you. In love with the Merlin fandom. Subtle cannibalistic jokes. Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom with out seeming like a canabalistic serial killer.
  • Homestuck: Impossible to explain to people outside the fandom.
  • Hetalia: Countries personified to be humans. The fandom is in love with the Homestuck fandom. Not too difficult to explain to people outside the fandom.
  • Nerd fighters: The best torture you will ever experience. Our author is a bit...weird. He and his brother do youtube vlogs. Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom.
  • Glee: Lots of people hate the show, even people in the fandom. The show can be sad, but it brings up like every issue in the history of ever. Lots of singing. Difficult to explain the fandom as a whole to people outside the fandom.
  • YouTubers: Fairly normal fandom, but they like slightly abnormal people. Involves a lot of shipping Youtubers together or with some random fangirl/fanboy who is so totally in love with them. Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom, or people inside the fandom who doesn't follow that Youtubers twitter, tumblr, Facebook, and every other random site they may be on. People miss a lot of inside jokes when they aren't completely stalking that person.
  • Manga/Anime: You might think its stupid to group them together, but there are so many complex ones that I'll just say this. It can range from high school dramas to weird scientific fantasies to gory horrors to fantastic adventures or you could have one that bands all of that together into one big thing. Usually has a lot of pain and shipping. Difficult to explain to someone outside the fandom who hasn't read the book and watched the anime as well.
  • Dramas (like the kind they show late nights on ABC): Mostly just shipping, but the dramas get complicated quickly, mostly because people leave the show for whatever reason and later come back and want to be in it again and have to be dramatically written out and later back in. The show could have almost any other genre, but it's full if things you don't see coming, and can make small things easily into big things. Lots of pain. (See Switched at Birth and Once Upon a Time for examples of Dramas.) Difficult to explain to people outside the fandoms.
  • Starkid: Actually pretty funny, lots of music, and only slight feels. Always worth it. Great for singalongs. Lots of weird jokes. Difficult to explain to people out side the fandom.
  • Welcome to Night Vale: Difficult to explain to people in the fandom.
  • Game of Thrones: The things above sound painful? Lol. Not even sure why someone would join this fandom, unless they really hate themselves. Difficult to explain to people outside the fandom.
  • Twilight: They live with knowing that everyone hates Twilight, especially the people in Twilight.
  • Hi.
  • You guys are my fucking family.
  • And seeing how some of you are really depressed,I decided to do something for you.
  • I hope at least one of these makes you smile.
  • 1)a group of flamingos is called a flamboyance
  • 2)if you fake laugh for some longer time,you will start to laugh really hard
  • 3)the Beatles used the word "love" 613 times throughout their career
  • 4)on the day of his assassination,Marthin Luther King Jr had a pillow fight in his motel
  • 5)penguins can belly slide
  • 6)cancer rates are down 20% in the last 20 years
  • 7)otters hold hands while sleeping so that they don't drift away from each other
  • 8)cuddling can help produce a hormone that helps heal wounds
  • 9)butterflies can taste with their feet
  • 10)it takes 43 muscles to frown but only 17 to smile(so smile you lil dipshit)
  • 11)cows have best friends
  • 12)seeing somebody else smile can actually make you happier
  • 13)a pigs orgasms last 30 minutes
  • 14)penguins mate for life and propose to their partner with a pebble
  • 15)if you spell out numbers in order,the first time you would get to the letter 'a' is at 1000
  • 16)worms communicate while snuggling
  • 17)all tho they never saw it,blind people smile when they're happy
  • 18)rats and mice are ticklish
  • 19)one of the roman emperors declared war on Neptune,a mythical god of water.His men ran out and stabbed the WATER
  • 20)the voice of Winnie de pooh calls children's hospitals to cheer kids up
  • 21)an Apollo astronaut wrote his daughters inicials on the moon that will stay there for 50,000 years at least
  • 22)Norway once knighted a penguin
  • 23)goats have accents(Dont ask I have no idea)
  • 24)dolphins have names for one another's
  • 25)male puppies will sometimes let female puppies win in a play fight
  • 26)octopuses make gardens by collecting sea grass and such and lining them in oder in the sand
  • 27)there is no angry way to say the word bubbles
  • 28)in China,killing a panda is punishable by death
  • 29) the voices of Micky and money mouse got married in real life
  • 30)spiders can't fly
  • 31)sweden has a rabbit jumping show competition
  • 32)kissing burns 2 calories a minute
  • 33)some window washers dress as superheros to cheer up kids
  • 34)during the apollo race the astronauts got sleeves to piss in that were labeled as 'small,medium,large' and no body wanted to tale the first two options to the NASA labeled them as 'large,gigantic,humongous' and the problem was solved
  • 35)turtles can breathe trought their ass
  • 36)lemurs hug each other when they're cold
  • 37)otters have a favourite rock that they carry around
  • 38)for a moment you were the youngest person on the planet
  • 39)Canadians eat more donoughts a then any other country
  • 40)there's a type of jellyfish that lives forever
  • 41)somebody is having the best day of their life right now
  • 42)cows produce the most milk listening to everybody hurts by REM
  • 43)a monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette
  • 44)2013 is the first year since 1987 that has all different digits
  • 45)when sea horses travel,they hold each others hands
  • 46)dogs nose prints are like finger prints to human
  • 47)before they hatch,baby chicks can communicate to their mother's by sound systems
  • 48)squirrels will adopt baby squirrels if they're abandoned
  • 49)a group of pugs is called a grumble
  • 50)abraham graham bell originally wanted people to say ahoy when answering the phone
  • 51)every year Netherlands send 20,000 tulips to Canada to thank them for their aid in the world war 2.
  • 52)an average person laughs 13 times a day
  • 53)if you walk with somebody,you will eventually synchronise your steps
  • 54)in Korea.there is a cat coffee where you can drink coffee while hanging out with cats
  • 55)honey bees communicate by dancing
  • 56)a new born panda weights as much as a cup of tea
  • 57)crows play pranks on each other
  • 58)if you shave a guine pig if looks like a baby hippo
  • 59)ants bow as to say hello
  • 60)dolphins sometimes menage to save humans from drowning
  • 61)Russia didn't consider beer to be an alchocolic drink until 2011.
  • 62)2/3 people on earth have never seen real life snow
  • 63)a hummingbird weights less then a penny
  • 64)a jellyfish is 95 percent water
  • 65)it would take 1000 years to watch every single video on YouTube
  • 66)a giraffe can clean its own ears because of its huge tongue
  • 67)that tongue is 21 inches long
  • 68)the number of words posted on twitter each day would fit a one million page book
  • 69)Donald duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants
  • 70)French was the official language of england for over 600 years
  • 81)our genes show that we all share the same male ancestor who lived 208.300 years ago
  • 82)there are vending machines that you can buy pizza from
  • 83)in some countries its illegal to advertise to children to keep them from asking their parents for things to much
  • 84)in 1906 a man was sentenced to a minute in prison
  • 85)there's a vulcano in Indonesia that spews blue lava
  • 86)a house burglar was cought once cause he loged on to Facebook at the persons computer and forgot to log off
  • 87)ants have mini wars
  • 88)alpacas can die of loneliness
  • 89)kanye west rapped his entire album to Seth rogan,just to hear his opinion
  • 90)people in poorer countries are more likely to say they're having a good day then the people in huge countries
  • 91)the happiest state of USA is Hawaii
  • 92)there's a woman named marijuana Pepsi
  • 93)40 million people in China live in caves
  • 94)there are towns in France where its illegal to die
  • 95)no egyptian President has been resigned unless dead or arrested
  • 96)woman spiders eat male spiders after mating with them
  • 97)there's a hybrid between a raccoon and a dog at east Asia
  • 98)unfaithful men tend to have lower IQs
  • 99) the entire country of Liechtenstein can be rented for 70,000 $ a day
  • 100)the biggest fact to be happy about-you exist.and you're awesomesauce.
  • I love you all.
  • Stay strong.
The signs as two Cry Baby songs // why // lyric
  • **album by Melanie Martinez**
  • Aries: Alphabet Boy and Teddy Bear // Alphabet Boy is about a character that realizes that they're better than someone that they used to put up with. Aries is like this character, once they realize they are being treated like crap they leave. Doesn't want to be a part of anyone's "game". They know that they are big, tough and smart. They know that they are better. Aries becomes very protective, just like the character Teddy Bear is about. Wants everything perfect and wants their partner to be perfect. Doesn't really return favors or realize when people treat them so greatly. Can get pretty violent about love. // "You can crush my candy cane but you'll never catch me cry" -Alphabet Boy
  • Taurus: Training Wheels and Cake // Taurus is always trying to make relationships go fast, just like the character in Training Wheels. Wants all or nothing. Normally pushes people to do things that they are very comfortable with, but doesn't really realize it. Falls in love quickly. Just like Cake, they always fall for people that don't really like them. Wants to be someone's everything. Taurus wants to turn "friends-with-benefits" type of relationships to either just friends or dating. // "I'm not a piece of cake" -Cake
  • Gemini: Pacify Her and Sippy Cup // Like Pacify Her, Gemini are always kinda the "homewreckers". Does everything to get their way, or what they want. Will argue, complain and fight until they get what they want. Always sees the bad in people. Acts sweet, but sometimes they are evil. Just like Sippy Cup, they also seem to know everything. Is really good at reading people. Focuses on the worst in the world. // "All the makeup in the world, won't make you less insecure" -Sippy Cup
  • Cancer: Cry Baby and Teddy Bear // Like Cry Baby, they make all their decisions with their feelings/emotions instead of logic. Really emotional people. Blames everything that happens to them on others. They love way too much for their age. Literally is a cry baby. Always loves to meet others that are like them, it makes them feel more relaxed and happy with themselves. Like Teddy Bear's character, they give everything to the person they love, but when they don't return it they get scared. Doesn't want to be lonely but also doesn't want to be in a bad relationship. Always looks back on the beginning of the relationship, instead of the present. // "You're one of a kind,
And no one understands" -Cry Baby
  • Leo: Dollhouse and Milk and Cookies // Dollhouse is similar to Leo because Leos keep all the bad inside. They don't show how bad their life really is. They have to make their life seem perfect, they have to make it seem like they are perfect. They don't think they need help, that they can help themselves alone. Never wants someone to know their real life and the real them. Milk and Cookies is about revenge, which Leos are so good at. They love getting back at people who make them go through hell, or at least just stand up for themselves. // "Everyone thinks that we're perfect, please don't let them look through the curtains" -Dollhouse
  • Virgo: Soap and Mrs. Potato Head // Virgos always are afraid of saying too much, and soap is exactly like that. They are afraid of saying something rude, or something that is too serious too fast. Virgos do always say the wrong thing, though. Virgos don't really understand society and their beauty standards, just like Mrs. Potato Head is about. Even though they know deep inside that it's wrong, they always do try to be perfect, physically and mentally. They usually think that if they were 'beautiful' that person would like them back. // "Oh Mrs. Potato Head, tell me, is it true that pain is beauty?" -Mrs. Potato Head
  • Libra: Milk and Cookies and Cake // Libra's love ,until, well, they are crazy. Milk and Cookies describes that version of them real well. Cake is a very lovely song, a perfect song for lovely Libra. They fall in love fast, even if the other doesn't return the feelings. They will keep trying for love until they know it's no use. They will take back their love for an other. They know they need someone who will treat them right. // "I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard" -Cake
  • Scorpio: Cry Baby and Soap // Scorpio is a Cry Baby. They blame others for things they do. Gets frustrated when they can't explain their feelings. They are unique, not like any other. Soap describes them wanting to go fast in relationships. They also have a tendency of saying things that are offensive, and they regret it, sometimes. They feel the need to punish themselves for things they do wrong. // "I'm sick of all the games I have to play" -Soap
  • Sagittarius: Mrs. Potato Head and Training Wheels // Sagittarius don't understand society's idea of "beauty", even though they do feel pressured to be the ideal idea of beauty. Mrs. Potato Head explain these feelings. Wants to look like the best them. Training Wheels is an adventurous type of song, and Sagittarius is an adventurous type of sign. Wants to have fun and live life to the fullest. Loves to be trusted. // "Baby soft skin turns into leather" -Mrs. Potato Head
  • Capricorn: Sippy Cup and Carousel // Seems to know everything. Can see underneath people's fake smiles, like the character in Sippy Cup. Knows that everything they do now will effect the future. Capricorns are fun and lively, just like Carousel. Secretive and they keep everything in. Sees love as something fun, but once they fall in love it's a whole different story. // "it's all fun and games, till somebody falls in love" -Carousel
  • Aquarius: Carousel and Mad Hatter // Likes to have fun, but everything changes when they fall in love, like what the song Carousel describes. They don't fight love, surprisingly. Their life just seems to be on repeat, just going round and round. Aquarius is like a Mad Hatter. They are weird and unlike anything you'll ever meet. They don't like being safe, they like being risky. Likes to be surrounded by people that are like them. They are crazy and bonkers. // "I'm nuts, baby, I'm mad, the craziest friend that you've ever had" -Mad Hatter
  • Pisces: Pity Party and Play Date // Pisces always throw "pity parties" for themselves. They always pity themselves and wants people to pity them, too. They don't really think about others and always wants to get their way. Sensitive. When people don't return love, they completely become mad at the person. Becomes careless and tried of chasing something that they can't get, just like the character in Play Date. But at the end, they admit their feelings and hope for the best.
Hetalia: Paint It White
  • America: Dudes, this is an emergency! As the paper in front of you with those crazy drawings that are supposedly words says, a majority of humanity has been turned into a noppera ghosty blobs by the freaky beam of light that shoots out of other noppera-bo-ba or baaa I don't really know how to say it. Tony, my righteous alien friend told me they're pictonians from the planet Picto. For reals dudes, Picto's way in like, way far outer space.
  • America: Dude, they're born looking like noppera and they want everybody else looking just like what they're doing, HELLO! Listen up! we can't just let these noppera dudes make earth all freaking boringly white, right? This is wack! We gotta stop these dudes ! Who's with me?... Also, what's a noppera?
  • Japan: Oh yes, I know what they are. It is a Japanese monster without a nose, eyes, or a mouth. It's proper name is nopperabo, okay?
  • England: Wait a tick, are you trying to say this is all your fault Japan?
  • Japan: No! I was simply explaining what noppera means! No more, no less.
  • China: Why do I have to be turned into noppera because of stupid Japan and scary story...
  • Japan: It's not my fault!
  • America: Focus countries ! Japan may have screwed things up, but we still have time to fix it ! Now, your ideas will all suck so listen to me. We'll combine all our military strength! I'll be in command so you can all wear the colors of my flag! All heroes wear red, white, and blue!
  • Italy: I think we should gather under the white flag!
  • England: Why in God's name would we put you in charge?
  • America: Duh, I be the hero, everybody knows that!
  • England: I beg to differ...
  • France: Everybody knows I've got the biggest--
  • England: No one asked you, cheesy monkey!
  • France: Shut up, black sheep of Europe!
  • England: I told you not to call me that!
  • China: Ugh. They never stop talking...
  • Italy: White flags! Come on, I made a whole lot of them! See! We can each wave our very own!
  • America: Japan, you think I'm right, right?
  • Japan: Uh, well, this is why I sense the mood and refrain from speaking.
  • America: Russia! What are you gonna do, dude?
  • Russia: I'm going to do fighting!
  • America: Rock out my dog, I've got the perfect job for you to have then! Back-up sidekick!
  • Russia: What?!
  • America: Yeah, every super-hero needs a sidekick, I should know that, I'm the hero! They even make big-budget Hollywood crazy good movies about it!
  • England: We also have top-notch productions in the UK!
  • France: Um, time-traveling phone booths can only go so far.
  • England: Shut it, Pépé le Pew, just because you invented movie-making doesn't mean you're any good at it! All your films are good for are putting me to sleep!
  • China: Just have you know, my movies have been very popular lately.
  • America: Dude, you can't compete with Michael Bay sequels.
  • China: That attitude is why I restrict your films!
  • Japan: Mine are more quietly artistic with cultural story-telling.
  • Italy: My movies are the most fun ones if you want to ask me!
  • America: Ha ha ha. No need to argue, 'cause I'm right!
  • Russia: I know my ideas are best because otherwise I kill them.
  • China: I'm only allowed to hear my thoughts and those are the ones I like.
  • Germany: Alright then. I'm done here. I don't know why I even thought that we could have a simple discussion. That's not how we work, is it? What a waste. This entire meeting has been pointless. I will do what I have to do and you do what you have to.
  • (Germany leaves the room; soon followed by everyone else)
  • Russia: That's exactly what I was going to say.
  • China: There's too much fighting together to figure out if we should even fight together anyway.
  • France: I am far too gorgeous to have been in a stuffy room for so long.
  • England: I am far too gorgeous to- Shut up France!
  • America: Ha ha ha ha! I was just trying to help! I don't need you guys, I'm the hero!
  • Japan: Ah. My belly. It hurts.
  • Italy: Uhuh! Hey, wait up you guys! Come on, don't leave me here by myself!
  • [Camera shoots to Canada, who is sitting alone.]
  • Canada: I'm still here. And I hate to complain, but no one even bothered to ask my opinion.
  • Kumajiro: Who are you?
  • Canada: I'm Canada.
So my choir did some recruitment stuff over the summer and we had a bunch of new people show up who may join us.
  • One of them was a nine year old girl I'll call J for privacy's sake. She sat next to me with the other sopranos. I was acting autistic as heck (twisting my Tangle and rocking) because there were new people and things were a little out of sorts. I had the cutest conversation with her about autism.
  • Me: *Rocking and twisting my Tangle while I wait for practice to start*
  • J: *Keeps peeking over at me*
  • Me: *Notices she has Elsa on her shirt* Ooh, nice shirt. I like Elsa. *quietly sings the beginning of "Let It Go"*
  • J: *whispering* Me too! I really like Frozen. Wait, you watch cartoons? How old are you?
  • Me: I'm thirty-five. How old are you?
  • J: Nine. You still watch cartoons? Really?
  • Me: *trying not to laugh out loud* If anybody ever tells you you're too old for cartoons, remind that person that adults make 'em.
  • J: *Laughs* What's your name?
  • Me: Cyndi.
  • J: *Tells me her name*
  • Me: Nice to meet you, J. *notices John(choir director) sitting down at the piano, which is an environmental cue that practice is about to start* Oops, looks like we're gonna start.
  • Then choir practice got started and my conversation with J kind of fell by the wayside. I helped J find where she was supposed to look because she didn't know how to read or follow sheet music. I used my Tangle to point most of the time.
  • Later on, J approached me during the 15 minute break we had in the middle so people could use the restroom, get drinks and stretch their legs.
  • Me: *Doing major Tangle cranking and rocking during the break*
  • J: *Notices me moving and comes over*
  • J: What's that twisty red thing?
  • Me: It's my Tangle. It helps me stay calm.
  • J: Why are you moving so much?
  • Me: I'm autistic.
  • J: What's that?
  • Me: It's what makes me, me. You could say I'm a little different.
  • J: Different how?
  • Me: *Thinks a sec* It's like our music scores. See how I have an octavo and you have Xerox sheets?
  • J: Yeah.
  • Me: *Opens my octavo for a song and points to the Xeroxed copy on J's chair.* It's like this sheet music. See how they both show the same notes? Your music isn't bound like a book, so you have to hold it a little differently than I hold mine so it doesn't spill everywhere.
  • J: *Picks up her Xeroxed music and tries to hold it at just the bottom like an octavo and the papers bend backwards* Oh! Yeah!
  • Me: That's what an autistic brain is like. It's not bad or less, it just needs to be taken care of a little different.
  • J: Does autistic hurt?
  • Me: *Giggles* Only sometimes because I have sensitive hearing. Certain noises hurt my ears and I might look like somebody punched me. Every autistic person is different.
  • J: Is that why you don't look at me when we're talking?
  • Me: I am looking at you, I'm just not looking at your eyes. Most autistic people don't look people in the eyes because it feels a little bit scary. I'm looking at your face, but not at your eyes. I'm looking at *points at my own mouth* your mouth.
  • J: *Grins* You're so weird!
  • Me: Thanks! *sticks out tongue, laughs*
  • J: What's it feel like?
  • Me: Sorry, what?
  • J: What's autistic feel like?
  • Me: Hmmm... *thinking of a comparison a nine year old can relate to* ...kinda like I want to pay attention to everything at the same time, especially in places with lots of talking like this. Remember how muddled up the tenors and altos sounded when they messed up that line in the "Holy, Holy"?
  • J: *nods*
  • Me: That's what a lot of people talking can sound like to me. I can't make sense of what people are trying to say to me when there's a lot of noise. *Speaks quieter on purpose* Can you understand what I'm saying if I talk quieter than everybody else?
  • J: What?
  • Me: *smiles* I said can you understand what I'm saying if I talk quieter than everybody else? Another funny thing with me is I can think of a bunch of words to say about thinks I like or know a lot about, but I can't think of any words to say if people start discussing something I'm not interested in, like political stuff. That's when I get real quiet and start daydreaming a lot.
  • J: *gets real serious looking* Do people die from being autistic?
  • Me: Nah! Some autistic people need a lot of help with everything like eating, taking a shower or putting on clothes. Some of us, like me, can get dressed, eat and take showers, but I need somebody to drive me places because I can't pay attention to everything you have to pay attention to when you drive, I can't cook because the measurements get really confusing for me and I have trouble cleaning a messy room without some help. Lessee...some of us can't talk at all or can only say a few words-- that's called being nonverbal or nonspeaking. Nonverbal autistic people might use other ways to talk, like sign language, computers or pictures. Sometimes it can take a long time to figure out a way to communicate, but autistic people who can't talk are still smart. Not being able to talk doesn't mean somebody can't think or understand.
  • J: Ooh, okay, I'll try to remember that. What's that wiggle you're doing right now?
  • Me: *Realizes I'm rocking on my chair* The moving around I do is called stimming and it's something that helps me make sense of all this noise. I might have trouble talking if it gets too much louder in here. I may get clumsy too, so sorry in advance if I bump into you a lot. ((Clumsiness is due to my variable proprioception.))
  • J: I'll watch out so you don't fall down.
  • Me: *So amused by this cute kid* I don't think I'll actually fall, but thanks!
  • J: *sits down and picks up her folder* Did you get autistic because you hit your head?
  • Me: *rocks some more* No, people are born autistic and it's a lifelong thing. There are some quack doctors who think vaccines cause it, but they were wrong. There are other quack doctors who think it can be 'cured' but most autistic people don't want that. We're happy being who we are. Being autistic isn't bad, it's just different.
  • J: How do you spell autistic?
  • Me: Like this. *Writes it on a Post-it note and gives it to her* Now if you look it up on the internet, make sure you avoid anything by this group-- *Writes Autism Speaks on the Post-it too* --because they want you to think being autistic is a bad, scary thing when it's not. They want to make it go away because they think people who can't talk or take care of themselves are suffering when they aren't.
  • J: That's so mean!
  • Me: Yeah! They're mean! Anything that has to do with lighting it up blue and blue puzzle pieces is related to Autism Speaks. That wannabe charity is bad news for autistic people. Autism Speaks makes us feel bad about being who we are. *Writes "Autism Speaks is mean!" on the Post-it note*
  • J: *puts Post-it note in her pencil case* I won't click anything by them.
  • Me: Great! You're already helping me a lot by avoiding Autism Speaks. Oops, here comes John. Breaktime's over.
  • John: Doing okay with all the noise, Cyndi?
  • Me: Yup! *Tips folder by accident, drops my music EVERYWHERE* Aaaaaaaaaand there's me being a klutz.
  • J: Oops! *Helps me pick it up*
  • Me: Thanks.
  • Then we went back to practice. I was this kiddo's first encounter with autism and I hope she stays around with the choir so she sees it's not a horrible person-stealing disease.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I was wondering if you could write something where Remus is having a really bad day like he's just feeling really down and is really cranky and doesn't want to be bothered but Sirius won't leave him alone because he can't stand seeing him upset and it's just really fluffy and cute pleeaaaassseeeee

Remus had had one hell of a day and it was only 10:30. His first class had been at eight in the morning and it had been terrible getting out of bed and dragging himself up to campus on such a cold November morning. It had snowed the night before, leaving the sidewalks covered in slush and dirt. It had seeped into Remus’ trousers and made him extremely uncomfortable. The icy wind had whipped at his face, stinging and making his eyes water against the cold. He’d pulled his scarf up to his nose but it barely helped.  

Then in his lecture there had been a pop quiz that Remus was fairly certain he’d botched. He was just absolutely miserable and could not face the rest of the day. He decided to go back home and skip his other two lectures. 

He was banging around the kitchen trying to make himself a cup of tea. It was the only thing that was going to save him from this awful morning. 

Sirius appeared in the kitchen doorway, their hair mussed from sleep and wearing just pants and an oversized t-shirt.His first lecture wasn’t until noon so he were able to sleep in, the lucky bastard.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Sirius asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Nothing,” Remus said, knowing Sirius didn’t believe him for a second. “Just making a pot of tea.”

Sirius padded into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Remus, resting his chin on Remus’ shoulder. “Tell me what’s wrong, Moony. Spill it.”

“Nothing is wrong.” Remus said through gritted teeth. “Leave me alone, Sirius.”

“No,” Sirius said stubbornly, holding onto Remus even tighter. “You’re upset and you’re going to tell me why.”

“It’s stupid, okay?” Remus said, hoping that would be the end of it. He tried to shove Sirius’ off but Sirius clung to him like an octopus.

“It’s not stupid if it has you this upset!” Sirius insisted, lifting his face up and nuzzling Remus affectionately. “Tell me.”

“It was just a horrible morning,” Remus responded with a heavy sigh. “Just real rubbish.”

Sirius nodded and began tugging Remus towards the bedroom. Remus protested, digging his heels into the floor. “The tea!”

“Leave it,” Sirius said, dragging him towards their bedroom. He quickly stripped Remus down to his pants, peeling his wet clothes off, and then pushing him gently onto the bed. It was still warm from Sirius sleeping and Remus sunk into the inviting heat happily. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Remus said, burying his face in the pillow.

Sirius chuckled lightly and went back to the kitchen. Remus dozed lightly to the sounds of Sirius making tea in the other room. Their flat wasn’t that big and you could hear most things going on from any room in the house.

Sirius came back, carefully cradling a cup of tea in his hands. He placed it on the bedside table and then crawled into bed. “I love you,” he said softly, pressing kissing along Remus’ spine. “You’re not allowed to be upset, Moony. Not if I can help it.”

“You can’t always help it,” Remus responded, turning his face to look at Sirius. “You can’t always fix everything in my life, Sirius.”

“I can try,” Sirius said, smiling fondly at Remus. He wiggled under the covers and curled his limbs around his boyfriend, hugging him. Sirius’ skin was warm from sleep, comfortable against Remus who still felt the cold down to his bones. 

“Can we stay here?” Remus asked, tracing the tattoos on Sirius’ chest - the constellations and symbols that made up a lifetime. “Don’t go to your classes today, please?”

He brought his fingers down and traced the initials on Sirius’ hip, RJL, making Sirius shiver. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Remus smiled and kissed Sirius tenderly. “I love you,” Remus said, gently tucking Sirius’ hair behind his ear. 

Sirius smiled. “Drink your tea before it gets cold.” 

Remus sat up and gently took the steaming cup off the nightstand. It was perfect, just a splash of milk and two sugars, and warm going down his throat. Sirius shifted about so that his head was on Remus’ lap, sighing contentedly. Remus grinned and used his free hand to pet Sirius’ hair. 

“If it was up to me,” Sirius said softly. “You’d have nothing but good days.”

Remus chuckled and sipped his tea. “Unfortunately, winter doesn’t agree with me much.”

Sirius hummed in agreement. “We’re about due for your yearly month long cold.”

Remus groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

“I like when you have a cold,” Sirius admitted, rubbing his fingers over Remus’ thigh. “You never let me take care of you unless you get a cold.”

“That’s because you’re usually the one who needs caring,” Remus teased, finishing up his tea and placing it back on the table. 

“That’s not true,” Sirius huffed indignantly. 

Remus slipped down in the bed, rearranging them so Sirius’ head was resting on his chest. “I like taking care of you,” he confessed, kissing the top of Sirius’ head. “I like being needed by someone.”

“I like that too,” Sirius said, putting his arm over Remus’ torso. “But you always want to do everything on your own.”

Remus closed his eyes and considered it for a moment. Perhaps he had a point. Remus had grown up being a sickly kid and always felt like a huge burden on his parents who had always had trouble paying his medical bills. Remus spent most of his childhood in and out of hospitals. Now that he was older and less prone to illness, he tried not to show any weakness to anyone. He didn’t want anyone to be responsible for him.

“I’ll try and be better about that,” he said, rubbing his hand up and down Sirius’ back soothingly. “Let you take care of me sometimes.”

“Really?” Sirius asked excitedly.

“If it’ll make you happy,” Remus said, tugging Sirius up into a kiss. “I’d do anything to make you happy because you make me so ridiculously, outrageously happy.” 

Sirius beamed at him and kissed him again. “I’m happy too,” Sirius informed him. “With you. I don’t want you to think I’m not happy. I just don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t tell me something.”

Remus nodded. “I’ll tell you all the things, I promise.”

Sirius laughed. “Good. So the plan is we stay in bed all day, then?”

“As long as you don’t mind,” Remus said, pressing a kiss to Sirius’ temple.

“I don’t mind, Moony,” Sirius answered, snuggling up against him. “I don’t mind at all.”

"american beauty" sentence starters
  • "I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world."
  • "Well, you have absolutely no interest in saving yourself."
  • "Lose my job? I didn't lose it. It's not like, 'Whoops! Where'd my job go?' I QUIT."
  • "I figured you guys might be able to give me some pointers. I need to shape up. Fast."
  • "You're right. I suck dick for money."
  • "Well, what do you say I throw in a little sexual harassment charge, to boot?"
  • "Management wants you gone by the end of the day."
  • "Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of."
  • "It's like God's looking right at you, just for a second, and if you're careful... you can look right back."
  • "When I was your age, I flipped burgers all summer just to be able to buy an eight-track."
  • "All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me."
  • "I rule!"
  • "She's not your friend. She's just someone you use to feel better about yourself."
  • "It's never too late to get it back."
  • "I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated."
  • "You think you're the only one who's sexually frustrated here?"
  • "Both my wife/husband and daughter/son think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right."
  • "I'm looking for the least possible amount of responsibility."
  • "You should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three States."
  • "Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?"
  • "Are you just looking to lose weight, or do you want increased strength and flexibility as well?"
  • "I don't think we can be friends anymore."
  • "Just don't fuck my dad, all right? Please?"
  • "You're way too uptight about sex."
  • "I want to look good naked!"
  • "Someone really should just put him out of his misery."
  • "I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here."
  • "You don't really think [name] and I were..."
  • "Want me to kill him for you?"
  • "I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school."
  • "I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone."
  • "Remember those posters that said, 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die."
  • "She hates me. She hates you, too."
  • "There's plenty of joy in my life."
  • "Go fuck yourself, psycho!"
  • "My parents are coming tonight. They're trying to, you know, take an active interest in me."
  • "Gross. I hate it when my mom does that."
  • "Fuck me, Your Majesty!"
  • "I was hoping you'd give me a bath. I'm very, very dirty."
  • "You ungrateful little brat! Just look at everything you have."
  • "I'm so sorry for the way things look around here."
  • "I think using psychotropic drugs is a very positive example to set for our daughter."
  • "Who are you looking for?"
  • "This isn't life, it's just stuff. And it's become more important to you than living."
  • "There's nothing worse than being ordinary."
  • "Everything that's meant to happen does."
  • "You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-grubbing freak."
  • "Welcome to America's weirdest home videos."
  • "Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way."
  • "I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and [name]."
  • "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell."
  • "Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!"
  • "Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. But, your dad's actually kind of cute."
  • "If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot."
  • "You don't get to tell me what to do ever again."
  • "I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out."
  • "Never underestimate the power of denial."
  • "Are you trying to look unattractive today?"
  • "How dare you speak to me that way in front of her."
  • "Jesus, what is it with you?"
  • "I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist."
  • "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in."
  • "See the way the handle on her pruning shears matches her gardening clogs? That's not an accident."
  • "Don't interrupt me, honey!"
  • "[Name]'s a pretty typical teenager. Angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die."
  • "You better watch yourself, [name], or you're going to turn into a real bitch, just like your mother!"
  • "I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you lose your job."
  • "You're boring. And you're totally ordinary. And you know it."
  • "You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday."
  • "Uh, whose car is that out front?"
  • "Your mother seems to prefer that I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink."
  • "In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times."
  • "She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love."
  • "I think you just became my personal hero!"
  • "Man, you are one twisted fuck."
  • "The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing."
  • "You know, this really doesn't concern you."
  • "I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable?"
  • "I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd ever tell me about it."
  • "Your wife is with another man and you don't care?"
  • "It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself."
  • "In less than a year, I'll be dead."
  • "[Name], today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus."
  • "I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her."
  • "We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time."
  • "I can't believe you don't know how beautiful you are."
  • "Well, at least I'm not ugly."
  • "This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here."
  • "[Name], are you masturbating?!"
  • "If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model."
  • "In a way, I'm dead already."
  • "You are so busted."
  • "I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up."
  • "Well, congratulations. You've succeeded admirably."
  • "The car I've always wanted and now I have it."
  • "God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that..."
  • "Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about."
  • "I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose."
  • "Our marriage is just for show. A commercial for how normal we are when we're anything but."
  • "It would be nice if I was anywhere near as important to him as she is."
  • "Gotta spend money to make money."
  • "I refuse to be a victim!"
  • "I was filming this dead bird."
  • "Do you party?"
  • "Oh, what? You're mother of the year? You treat her/him like an employee."
  • "Could he be any more pathetic?"
  • "I think it's sweet."
  • "You need structure... you need discipline."
  • "He's just so confident, it can't be real."
  • "So, you're fucking psycho-boy on a regular basis now? Tell me, has he got a big dick?"
  • "He didn't even look at me once!"
  • "I don't think you'd fit in here."
  • "It seems unfair to presume I won't be able to learn."
  • "Excuse me for speaking so bluntly, sir."
  • "Oh, I'm in trouble."
  • "I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting."
  • "This country is going straight to hell!"
  • "[Name], when did you become so joyless?"
  • "I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious."
  • "What is this? The fucking Gay Pride parade?"
  • "Sorry about my dad."
  • "To you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones."
  • "This is my first time."
nbc hannibal season 1 starters
  • This is not a fatal wound.
  • The bullet misses every artery.
  • She is paralyzed before it leaves her body. Which doesn't mean she can't feel pain. It just means she can't do anything about it.
  • This is my design
  • ___ deals with huge amounts of fear. It comes with his/her imagination
  • It's the price of imagination.
  • I imagine what you see and learn touches everything else in your mind.
  • Your values and decency are present yet shocked at your associations, appalled at your dreams. No forts in the bone arena of your skull for things you love.
  • Whose profile are you working on?
  • Observing is what we do. I can't shut mine off any more than you can shut yours off.
  • Please, don't psychoanalyze me. You won't like me when I'm psychoanalyzed.
  • Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go give a lecture on psychoanalyzing.
  • What he has is pure empathy. He can assume your point of view, or mine — and maybe some other points of view that scare him.
  • It’s an uncomfortable gift.
  • Perception’s a tool that’s pointed on both ends.
  • I would apologize for my analytical ambush, but I know I will soon be apologizing again and you'll tire of that eventually, so I have to consider using apologies sparingly.
  • Just keep it professional.
  • Or we could socialize, like adults. God forbid we become friendly.
  • I don't find you that interesting.
  • The reason you currently used to work homicide is you didn't have the stomach for pulling the trigger. You just pulled the trigger 10 times!
  • Therapy doesn't work on me.
  • Therapy doesn't work on you because you won't let it.
  • It's the inevitability of there being a man so bad that killing him felt good.
  • Killing must feel good to God, too. He does it all the time, and are we not created in God's image?
  • God's terrific. He dropped a church roof on 34 of his worshipers last Wednesday night in Texas, while they sang a hymn.
  • Did God feel good about that?
  • He felt powerful.
  • Eating her is honoring her. Otherwise, it's it's just murder.
  • She has a penchant for manipulation. Withheld information to gain information.
  • She demonstrated only enough emotions - to prove she had them.
  • It isn't very smart to piss off a guy who thinks about killing people for a living.
  • Passion’s good. Gets blood pumping.
  • I'm glad we didn't have guns in my house. Would have shot my sisters just to get them out of the bathroom.
  • What kind of victim forgives the killer at the moment of death?
  • First and worst sign of sociopathic behavior, cruelty to animals.
  • Human emotions are a gift from our animal ancestors. Cruelty is a gift humanity has given itself.
  • A unique cocktail of personality disorders and neuroses that make you a highly skilled profiler.
  • I've read your notes, of course. They were more or less helpful as I conducted my own interviews
  • The effect I was hoping to have was her death. Mission accomplished.
  • Certain personalities are attracted to certain professions.
  • I want to go on record as saying that this is a very bad idea
  • Insane isn't really black or white, is it?
  • We're all pathological in our own ways. You choose the version of the truth that suits you best and pursue it pathologically.
  • Everybody decides their own versions of the truth.
  • Word of advice, it's easier just to kill 'em. Kill 'em, kill everyone at the table. Less paperwork. Worked for me. I'm doing okay
  • With experience, I have found surgeries are best performed on a local anesthetic or epidural with the patient awake. Reminds me there' a real person here entrusting me with their life rather than a lump of meat that I'm about to reorganize. And in this instance, I would like to see the look on your face.
  • The real Chesapeake Ripper is a collector of surgical trophies. I'm gonna leave him a little gift. In fact, I'm gonna leave him a gift basket
  • You know, it is truly amazing how many organs the body can offer up before it really begins to suffer.
  • All right, stay awake now!
  • You look like hell.
  • I don't know if I will ever be myself again. I don't know if I've got any "self" left over.
  • I know who I am. I'm not so sure I know who you are anymore.
  • The scales have just fallen from my eyes. I can see you now.
  • Would it feel good to kill me now?

anonymous asked:

how are larries aware of their confirmation bias when you guys can't even admit all you're doing is tinhatting when it comes to everything regarding harry and louis? this is a genuine question, i'm not cursing you out or calling you delusional i'm trying to understand how that works. your confirmation bias comes into play by ignoring everything that doesn't fit into your already pre conceived notion of what's happening and opting to come up with theories that counter act what you believe is

already happening (behind the scenes presumably). How truly aware are you of this bias when you make matter of fact statements such as 1d looking for a new label when the only thing supporting that statement is your theories and apparently things you’ve “heard” from people you trust. niall says he is working with modest (his management, words that came straight from his mouth) yet that;s not true bc you don’t want it to be so let me ignore and make up more theories. i understand there’s a large part of this fandom that takes everything reported by the media re the boys without giving it a second thought and admittedly that is vry naive i think it’s less about “antis” not taking other scenarios into consideration (which, idk what an anti is, i simply don’t think h & l are together;i’m not anti anything) and more about how larries take every other scenario into consideration and using the confirmation bias a ton when things don’t fit their perception. so your tags confused me sry

this got long


Yes it did get long. And so is my answer below the cut.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Sorry for bothering you, a lot of people comes for your help but you are always so reasonable that I can't think of a better person to ask this about. I live in a country where "traditional gender values" are still very much upheld and I am studying in a class with 200 men and only one other girl. Usually this doesn't bother me, I can handle micro-aggression and I have to say that generally everybody is quite nice to me. However, in the last year I've had a huge problem with a professor. [1/2]

So, this professor keeps making jokes during class and saying things like “women can’t drive”, etc. These are all jokes and they bother me a bit (especially when he targets me), but I never say anything. However things are escalating and now he wants me and the other girl to cook and clean for meetings and even other people have starting treating me differently, like I’m the secretary instead of one of the best students of my class. What should I do?Confront him?

What you should do, Anon, is report him, because WOW.

Like, normally I open these responses with sympathy, but I am so appalled at the idea that you should cook and clean for meetings that I am speechless. Holy wow.

Okay so first, actually, let me say, well done you for persisting in following your dream and studying as a woman in a heavily male-dominated field, that has to be a terrible experience for you and I applaud your strength in putting up with all the crap you have to deal with. And also, I’m sorry you have to deal with that. You will probably have to, all your life, but you shouldn’t, and I’m sorry.

So here’s the problem: there are a lot of things I could advise you to do. I do think you should report him to school administration, because even if they do nothing, that’s the start of a paper trail in case you need to, IDK, sue or something. (Get copies of any paperwork – and if you can, make them file paperwork, don’t let them blow you off with an oral interview.) Possibly don’t even frame it as a gender thing – just tell them you feel you’re being unfairly singled out to do duties not in line with your studies. If you think it will help to say you’re being badly treated because of your gender, you can, but…

If you do live in a culture where women are disregarded as scholars and  it’s assumed these things are your job, the administration of your school may not help. They may even cause trouble for you – though you could always threaten to go public with your treatment if you think news coverage would help (you don’t have to do this, sometimes the threat is enough).

But that’s the problem: anything I can tell you to do may harm you more than it helps. It’s difficult for me to tell you to stand up and fight for your rights when I’m a dude who’s never had to. You can face real consequences just for defending yourself. And again, I’m so sorry. And so appalled.

I don’t think you should consider confronting him until you’ve spoken to school administration about it, because that’s the proper channel. But if you decide that you do need to confront him, I would recommend keeping it simple: just say no. No, I’m not going to cook and clean for meetings, that’s not my job. No, I’m not going to laugh at your sexist jokes. You don’t have to argue him into agreement; you just have to say no, over and over.

It may not help. It may harm you. You’re in a situation where there may be no winning. But I hope that you and the other woman in class, if she’s getting the same treatment, will stand strong together and fight this, if you can do so safely, because it’s wrong and it’s horrible.

You do have the option of speaking to your classmates and seeing if any of them are sympathetic. Many may want to help, or be unaware of what’s going on. If you can find a few, you should arrange so that the work the professor wants you to do is done in shifts – you do it one week, dudes do it the rest of the semester. That’s fair, and there’s not a lot the professor can do to stop it – what’s he going to do, say only the women can do this work? That’s outrageous even for a culture where women generally DO do that work.

But you need to make sure that the guys are on board, that they understand, and that they’re not going to screw you over. And that can be tough too.

Ugh. It just blows so hard that you’re in this situation, Anon, and that there’s nothing I can do to help you fix it, not really. I hope you can get some help from the administration. For what it’s worth, I’m really angry on your behalf, and you absolutely do have the right not to be treated this way just because you’re a woman.

Good luck. Be cautious, be strong, and do what you need to in order to survive – no one who matters will think less of you for surviving. 

ETA: @visardist made a really good point so I want to add it to the body:

RECORD RECORD RECORD. Get him on video saying this stuff if you can, but otherwise write down, with dates, every time he says something sexist, and especially if he highlights you or your classmate. This will help when you go to admin.

This is exactly right. Do start writing down dates and times, and get him in an email or a video or an audio recording if you can.

the shoebox project sentence meme - part two
  • "Tonight's the night!!"
  • "This is a fucking disaster."
  • "Why didn't we put some kind of leash on him/her?"
  • "Stop it."
  • "Fuck you."
  • "Oh, grow up!"
  • "No one of us is any good against him/her."
  • "I think we should go."
  • "I dream of pants."
  • "We've been careless enough tonight."
  • "Can't even keep your clothes on without me."
  • "I'm too weak to hit you, that's unfair."
  • "Don't hate me because I'm so Important."
  • "That's not what your mother said last night."
  • "I should be given a medal."
  • "I'm not a corpse. Corpses don't eat sandwiches."
  • "Look, it's obvious s/he wants to look things up, so let him/her look things up, it makes him/her happy."
  • "Are we doing it?? CAN we do it?? REALLY?? PLEASE??"
  • "Please? Just one little kiss? Jesus would want you to."
  • "I won't let you tempt me into depravity and debauchery. Go away."
  • "Please tell me you're up to something that doesn't involve frolicsome revelries."
  • "You can't force the magic of Christmas on everyone, you know."
  • "S/He's inexplicable, really. Everything s/he does -- completely inexplicable."
  • "I'm going with you. You simply cannot be trusted."
  • "Stop looking so sour. Your face is going to freeze that way."
  • "You've got lipstick on your nose."
  • "I am crippled by Love!"
  • "I want to die, ______. Why can't you just let me die?"
  • "Am I dying? Am I dead? The inside of my mouth feels like I'm dying."
  • "If you had eaten the eyeballs I would never have spoken with you again."
  • "Well I must go eat more to forget."
  • "They at least think I am the perfect picture of a little gentleman/lady."
  • "I want to bite them, which is rude and very improper."
  • "Well, I want to do something besides sit here and think about stabbing myself in the head."
  • "I've learned that you make me insane in small enclosed spaces."
  • "I am a dirty, filthy, tricky liar, like my ancestors before me."
  • "You're more dangerous than the puddings."
  • "I'll be security, then, and when you get in undesirable customers I'll leap out from behind a shelf and hit them with my bat."
  • "I'm still trying to get your saliva out of my eyes."
  • "You're just too lazy to do real work, aren't you? All talk and no delivery."
  • "You're using sarcasm as a weapon and I'm already injured."
  • "Eh. It's not like I ever had any honour anyway."
  • "No, no, I'm not laughing because it's funny. I think I'm laughing because I'm hysterical."
  • "you look as if you are in the midst of some intestinal distress."
  • "I have come to the conclusion that you have just escaped the clutches of certain death. How did it feel?"
  • "______ wants to feed me to a troll."
  • "_______, do you think I'm bad company?"
  • "Sorry, mate, I don't speak pathetic bastard. Come again?"
  • "His/Her mind says no, you see, but his/her body says yes."
  • "You stole my cake? I thought I ate it while I wasn’t paying attention.”
  • "Look at me! I am pathetic! Just teach me. I'll do anything."

anonymous asked:

Stop trying to make an ageism point with Caryl. It's stupid and offensive to Carol. It's not on Carol if Daryl doesn't like her sexually. Or vice versa. You can't make people feel things they don't feel, and if Daryl isn't sexually attracted to Carol, I doubt it's because she is older or her hair colour is grey. Do you even have proof that Carol is sexually attracted to Daryl? Are you sexually attracted to all your male friends? Just let their relationship BE whatever it is supposed to be.

The point is not that I would think it’s on Carol if she and Daryl don’t get together. The point is that how how society views it and will view it. We don’t need to guess about it, we already see it on comments on facebook and tumblr and elsewhere. People ASSUME Daryl is not and would not be interested in Carol because of her age and look. It’s sadly the way society works, that the perceived hot stud would not be interested in a motherly, mature woman with short grey hair.

Those, like me, who want that NOT to be an issue think TWD could go a LONG WAY to changing perceptions on women over 40 (and women with short hair or grey hair or any combination thereof) by making Caryl happen. It would be a big statement to have Daryl - who it cannot be denied is seen as the heartthrob of the show - “chose” Carol as his love interest. By pairing Carol with Eugene or Tobin, or some other “suitable” male, people are simply saying that Carol does not deserve a hearthrob level partner, and should be paired with someone who is seen as less attractive, less desirable. Let’s not kid ourselves that’s not what these pairings are about. Why are these people who think Carol SHOULD be with a man like that, not pairing her with Glenn or Spencer? No one even CONTEMPLATES those choices, because why would they pair her with a young, handsome male? Whilst Daryl is paired with every woman over 16, who is seen as hot enough for him.

These are not REAL people, they are characters, their relationship isn’t “meant to be” ANYTHING, it’s what the writer decide it is. They have created the situation where these two characters are extremely close to each other, and thus people see them as potential romantic partners. If they decide to NOT make them romantically linked, there has to be a reason for that. This isn’t real life. And when they don’t explain WHY two people who are perfectly matched in every way are not exploring a romantic connection, people are left to assume the reason why and as I explained above, sadly for most people the assumption will be that it is Daryl’s choice and it’s because he wouldn’t be attracted to someone “like” Carol.

There is already a perception in some branches of fandom that Carol flirts and hits on him and Daryl is uncomfortable or disgusted by her “advances”. That exists and it would only get worse if it is seen that Daryl chooses to pursue a romantic connection with some other, younger, more classically “hot” female. Especially when we’ve been told how close Daryl is to Carol, how much he cares about her and looks to her, and how hard it is for him to trust or let anyone in. If after all that he then hooks up with the first young, pretty woman to cross his path he looks like a shallow dick - exactly the way Rick has looked this season.

This IS an issue, I’m not making it one, I’m simply talking about it and no, I won’t stop.

Annie (2014) full movie sentence starters
  • "Okay, ____, your turn."
  • "You sure there's time?"
  • "I don't wanna keep anyone from vacation."
  • "Where's your essay?"
  • "You gonna make it in time?"
  • "Luck's for suckers."
  • "I said 'freeze', you little rat!"
  • "You think the world wants some smart-mouthed little girl/boy?"
  • "Hey, you little monster, I wasn't done with you! Get back here!"
  • "Shhh! The witch will hear us."
  • "No-one wants a teenager."
  • "We all have families somewhere."
  • "She/He's sitting playing piano."
  • "Betcha he/she reads."
  • "Betcha she/he sews."
  • "Won't you please come get your baby?"
  • "It's so early."
  • "Thanks for the time and date. Now over to Stormy for the weather - it's raining!"
  • "Aren't I supposed to be married to George Clooney?"
  • "I hate her/him so much."
  • "If you find any loose change over a nickel, it's mine."
  • "I was having the best dream! I was ice-skating on real, live ice!"
  • "Now, clean like your life depends on it.'Cause it does!"
  • "Wait. What does 'hard knock life' mean?"
  • "It means our life sucks."
  • "It's the hard knock life for us!"
  • "Instead of treated, we get tricked!"
  • "Instead of kisses, we get kicked!"
  • "Less singing and more cleaning!"
  • "Santa Claus? What's that? Who's he?"
  • "No-one cares for you a bit when you're a foster kid."
  • "Yank the whiskers from her/his chin!"
  • "Jab her/him with a safety pin!"
  • "Send her/him to the loony bin!"
  • "I said no singing and dancing!"
  • "We love you, _____!"
  • "Take it down a thousand. Nobody's gonna believe that."
  • "My maiden name. But I'm not married to it, if you know what I mean."
  • "What's a scoso curcurity murder?"
  • "Can we talk about this after the handsome/pretty inspector with no wedding ring is gone?
  • "Can I have some floss? I think I have some nutritious breakfast stuck in my teeth."
  • "I believe in hard work. I don't just settle for 'okay.'
  • 'Great' is all I know."
  • "Are you going to stare at me the whole time?"
  • "Can you read it? I'm too nervous..."
  • "What does 'no further data' mean?"
  • "The sun'll come out tomorrow."
  • "Just thinking about tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow 'til there's none."
  • "When I'm stuck with a day that's grey and lonely, I just stick up my chin and grin."
  • "Watch where you're going, kid!"
  • "You could've got run over."
  • "Don't be sorry. You be careful."
  • "Why're you running?"
  • "Little kids. Kids with germs."
  • "Maybe that'll teach you to stop running your mouth."
  • "Kids love candy, huh?"
  • "Maybe I should come with you and make sure that everything's USDA Grade A awesome, huh?"
  • "Hey, you wanna go out tonight? I got my dance pants on."
  • "I haven't hit that rock bottom yet!"
  • "I love it when you throw me shade!"
  • "Whoa! My hair's gigantic!"
  • "I'm ten. I'm not an idiot."
  • "I bet if I moved in with you, you'd become president."
  • "I think I'm gonna like it here."
  • "Wait, I think it and it comes to me?"
  • "I couldn't do that yesterday!"
  • "Can it teach me to swim?"
  • "The water's cold!"
  • "Everything you've ever dreamed is at your fingertips!"
  • "Damn right, you're gonna like it."
  • "I know you're gonna miss me."
  • "I'm not looking for temporary companionship.".
  • "God has a path for us all. Your path should be away from the car."
  • "You think you're better than me? Is that what it is? You think you're better than me?"
  • "You think your life is a fairy tale? There is no happily ever after. And the worst thing is to get a little taste of something good 'cause it never lasts."
  • "Just let her/him talk when she/he gets like this, remember?"
  • "I don't like you in Harlem. Why would I like you
  • on Facebook?"
  • "Those things are evil. They steal your private information
  • so that big business can spy on you and crush your soul."
  • "Sorry. He/she just doesn't like you."
  • "Don't pick that one, it's licking its own hoo-hah."
  • "I'll never leave you again, I promise."
  • "She/he really likes you."
  • "I think people surround themselves with other people
  • just so they can feel loved."
  • "Wow, you ask a lot of questions."
  • "I'm kid-intolerant."
  • "You gotta learn to stop spitting. You're not a camel."
  • "I know this sounds crazy, but do you guys spy on people with your phones?"
  • "You can't trust the fish people."
  • "I think when people say no, they're just really scared of saying yes."
  • "Everywhere I turn I can see them."
  • "I should be anywhere but here."
  • "Please kill me. I'm serious, please kill me. I'm not singing, I'm asking."
  • "I'm ready for stardom after all these years."
  • "I'm done with little girls/boys!"
  • "I wanna be someone in this world."
  • "Your voice matches your beauty."
  • "I don't start things I can't win."
  • "This is just the start of your story."
  • "If you got guts, you'll get glory."
  • "It's worth fighting for."
  • "You know what? When did this stop being my house?"
  • "I'm in a dress that feels like a cloud."
  • "I'm standing in the middle of a giant cinnamon roll."
  • "You're witnessing my moment, you see?"
  • "I can't read."
  • "Get back! He/she's a kid!"
  • "This is our chance to get out of this place."
  • "Let's run for it."
  • "Oh, darling girl/boy! It's so good to see you after all these years!"
  • "You ever do anything that you thought was really a good idea at the time, but then after, it's like you're not so sure?"
  • "What did you do? Because, whatever it is, you know I'm here to help."
  • "Under all that bitter, there's a sweet lady/man with a big heart. She's/he's just been gone for a while. That's all."
  • "You don't care about me. I was just an opportunity to you."
  • "I can't trust you! I can't trust anybody!"
  • "I've always had a problem with realizing what's right in front of me."
  • "I don't need anything but you!"
  • "You've wrapped me around that cute little finger."
  • "Nothing on Earth could ever divide us!"
  • "Today was a straight-up nightmare."
  • "Together at last!"
  • "Together forever!"
  • "The city is full of opportunity. It's yours to take. The sun will come out tomorrow."